Bishop T.D. Jakes argues that telling men to suppress emotions—"big boys don't cry," "be a man"—forces them into silence and higher mortality rates. After decades of marriage, he chose a partner who is calm and steady to balance his own temperament.
Big boys don't cry. Stand up, be a man. Take it like a man. Hold it in. Suck it up. We train men to be silent and then crave them to speak. That's why we die quicker than you, because we don't talk. We just disappear. We internalize. We just disappear. After 41 years, about 30 years into the marriage, I realized I married my opposite to balance me.
One flies by his nose.
I was attracted to her calmness, to her steadiness, to her stability.
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