This Habit Is Quietly DESTROYING Your Success | Tony Robbins

have things we want. We don't get what we want. We get what we have to have.

There have been people that have been through the most horrific experiences in life, and they found a way to still be happy because they've made the decision that life is too short to suffer. Here's what I've done. I think I have the ability to influence people because I talk about my failures. I talk about all the things that messed me up, but I show people that I didn't let it stop me, and you don't need to stop you.

He's an American businessman, author, and philanthropist. He served as an advisor to leaders around the world for almost 40 years. His live arena events sell out months in advance. He's Tony Robbins, and here's my take on his top 10 rules of success, volume 2. Rule number 2 is my personal favorite, and I'm curious to figure out which one you guys like best. And as always, guys, as you're watching the videos, if you hear something that really resonates with you, please leave it down in the comments below and put quotes around it so other people can be inspired as well. Also, as you are writing something down, it's much more likely to stick in your head too.

Enjoy.

People ask, what does it take to succeed? The one answer I give them is hunger. That hunger is the greatest asset that you'll see in everybody from Richard Branson to Google or an Apple or Facebook, these, you know, giant companies. You got to become a master of your ability to turn on your determination or your creativity or your hunger or your passion or whatever it is it's going to take for you to get from where you are to where you really want to be. Intelligence is so valuable, but there are so many smart people that can't fight their way out of a paper bag. Hunger is that part of you that says, I will not stop, I will not give up, I will not settle for less than I can be or do or share or give.

The number one thing that's going to change your life, the only thing that will change your life, change your business, change your money, change your relationship is you must raise your standard. Now I know that sounds boring, stupid, basic, but it's the truth. The only thing that changes our life long-term is when we raise our standards. What does that mean? That sounds so boring and dumb. It means that all of us in life have things we want. We don't get what we want. We get what we have to have. Remember I said earlier, we all get what we tolerate in ourselves and other people. But when you're no longer willing to tolerate something, that's when your life changes. The difference in people is their standards, period. The difference in people is their standards, period. And what do I mean by standards? Everyone in the world has a list of things they think they should do. I should lose weight. I should work out. I should spend more time with my kids. I should work harder. I should make more calls. I should, I should, I should, I should. And then you know what? People don't do their shoulds and they get mad at themselves and they, what I call, shit all over themselves. They beat themselves up about it. What changes people is when your should becomes a must. When suddenly the thing you said should happen has to happen. That's when human beings change. It's like if you want to take the island and you're the head of the army and you want to take the island, the most powerful way to take the island is burn the boats. Because if there's no way to go back, it's amazing what happens when it's a must. To do something versus a should. That's what makes human beings succeed.

So you really have to decide. The most important decision is, do I want to be happy? Will I commit to being happy? More important than happy— sometimes you'll be so happy you smile so much your face hurts, right? You need variety. Am I committed to living in a beautiful state even when it doesn't go my way, even when it rains on my parade, even when my biggest fear shows up? Because I can't control whether your husband or wife will live or die or get sick or leave you or get a divorce. I don't want any of that to happen human being. I hate suffering. I do anything I can to help people not suffer. But I can't control that. You can. You can. There are people who have lost their arms, lost their sight. There have been people that have been through the most horrific experiences in life and they found a way to still be happy because they've made the decision that life is too short to suffer. I've interviewed dozens and hundreds over the years, but dozens that like have impacted my soul, that made me realize I can change this. I've just gotten used to it. I've bought into the theory that this this survival software that's constantly running and making you suffer, that that's normal. No, that's what the mind will do. And mind has been around forever. What I'm gonna do is something different. And the way I get out of suffering, I give myself a 90-second rule. It's really simple. I say, look, if I feel myself starting to feel that stress, feeling that pissed-offness or upsetness or concern or worry about my kid, whatever, I realize that's not gonna make it better. Life's too short to suffer. And then I just kind of breathe slowly, slow everything down, down and I just watch the thought go by and go, look at that crazy thought. Because everybody's had crazy thoughts. Everybody's ever thought, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch, right? And then you don't kill them because you don't believe that thought. It's the thoughts that are stressful that you believe that mess you up. When you question them, you break the pattern. The more I've done this, like a muscle, the more I've trained myself to do it. I can authentically tell you now, it takes a lot for something to take more than 90 seconds for me now. And the level of joy surpasses all the money you could ever have in a million years. And then the money— it's easier to even make money because you're not attached. You don't have the fears, you don't have the scarcity that people have because you feel so rich already right now. I always tell people, don't wait to be rich. What is that richness? It's abundance, it's joy, it's happiness, it's contribution, it's getting out of yourself. Because as long as we're thinking about, oh my God, I lost something, or you did something, now I have less love, less respect, less money— if I think loss, less, or because you did something, or because I did something, I'm never going to have what I want in my life— loss, less, never— those three Thought patterns, they're the source of all suffering. And the antidote? See it for what it really is, know it's BS, and find something to appreciate. Most people who start a business very often will start 2 and 3, 4 more, and the reason they do it is because the first one isn't succeeding or they no longer—

they lack patience.

Exactly right. And so what happens to that person is they're never going to be successful in most cases unless they get lucky. You get lucky, bounce across something that's easier to do. But most people are always looking for that next level. What my view is, is it's great to test all these things, but you gotta find what is your flagship, what is it that you're gonna commit your soul to? Because if you don't do that, the inevitable challenges are gonna come up and you're gonna then move on to something else that's more enjoyable. And so the other thing I look at is business is about constantly not only adding such massive value, doing more for others than anybody else, but it's also simultaneously about your own psychology. It's your ability to go through thresholds of control. It's like, I can remember when I didn't have $50,000 to keep the doors open on my company. I had 12 employees and 11 wanted to quit because they hated the person running the show. And $50,000 would be like $500 million to me today. And I figured out how to get through that threshold. And once I did, like all the problems related to that were handled. I know you've done this as well. And then I, you know, I had a $5 million lawsuit that was totally unfair, unjust. And I finally had just the amount of time, energy, and money, I had to bite the bullet and do it. And $5 million was more than I could ever imagine. Then I had a partner who took a company that was losing $1 million a day and turned it to $1.5 billion in positive EBITDA. I'm not mentioning names.

Amway.

And he wanted me to join him in business with some other partners, not doing the multi-level side. Did the business, put in $10 million. We all put in $10 million. It was $40 million in debt. But I signed joint and several, which I didn't understand in those days what that meant. And 2 of my partners were supposedly billionaires, and they went bankrupt. Broke. We bought some more companies. I ended up with $120 million in debt that I was on the hook for. No one else had any money. And I'm getting up to do a seminar wanting to throw up. It was a new threshold of control. So you know when you ski or you snowboard and you think you're maybe, you're just new at it and you think you're going down a blue or green and it turns out to be a double black and you're like, what the fuck? And so you have two choices. One is you start to go down and you freak out and you're going to die. You slam on the ground and try to hang on for dear life. Or the other is, baby, you Focus on where you want to go and you find a way to curve. You find a way to cut.

And once you do it a couple of times, you get used to it.

You have no more fear of that element. Now my biggest one out of that, that led me to a billion. I have 31 companies now to give you an idea. 7 different industries as diverse as like, you know, stem cells to virtual reality. We have the exclusive to the NBA now in virtual reality to give an example. We do, I got 1,200 employees. We're on 3 continents. And we got $5 billion in sales. But I did that because I first stayed on one frickin' thing.

Yes, exactly right.

I got so masterful at it.

There is another level. The only reason you keep saying there isn't is you feel so exhausted about where you are. But life, the universe, or God is just testing you because there is another level. If this is good, giant jump to excellence, giant— sorry, poor to good to excellence. There's a level where all your dreams are realized. There's a level that you've always dreamed about. It is real. It has not gone away. But it takes that extra burst when you think there's nothing left, there's no way, you've tried everything 10 million times, and you keep going. It's almost like God is saying, if you keep hitting this wall enough times, I will see that you will not stop, that you are filled with that level of determination, faith, and courage. And then the door opens and you get to that next level.

But most people don't know is The next level is just 2 millimeters above, and it's called outstanding, ladies and gentlemen.

Outstanding. What's it called? What's it called? What's it called? Outstanding. Magnificent. Unstoppable. Extraordinary. Not excellent. It's a different level. It's a level where you are not one of the best. You are the best. You know what's amazing? You only have to be 2 million years more than everybody else and you get everything. You get the joy, the laughter, the fun, the family, the passion, the economics, the freedom, the spirit. It's all there. What Jerry Maguire called the Kwan, baby. All of it. And it's just 2 million years above. And most excellent people give up because they're exhausted. And there's some people that go, the harder I hit it, The more I hit it, sooner or later it's going down. I'm not stopping. And when you do that enough, it pops open.

If you're obsessed, you know what you want, you take a massive action, maybe you modeled somebody, figure out the right action so you get there quicker, and you're executing, you still need a little grace. Some people call it luck, you could call it God, but I really believe that there's the part we do and then there's the part that comes to us. But I do know grace shows up a lot more when you do the first two steps on your own, and grace shows up a lot more When you acknowledge grace in your life, when you acknowledge that I was born in a world where I didn't have to build this internet that I can pull out of my pocket the answer to anything on earth. I am driving on streets I didn't pave. I'm reading books I didn't have to write. That's the gift of our lives. And I think when we experience that grace, we don't just experience more achievement, but we start to experience more fulfillment.

And grace not only affects your ability to get there, but it affects what you do and how you live once you are there.

It really determines the quality of your life. Quality of your life because unless you live in a state of gratitude— I did an interview with Sir John Templeton, who as you know is one of the first billionaire investors and just a brilliant man. He came from nothing. And he donated, I think it was $750— they still do it, the Templeton Fund. I think it's $750 million a year. It's bigger than the Nobel Fund that he donates. And one day I asked him, I said, what is the secret to wealth? And he looked at me, paused. This big smile and his eyes got really bright like they always did. And he said, "Tony, it's what you teach." I said, "Well, I teach a lot of things, you know, which thing?" And he said, "Gratitude." He said, "Because you and I, Tony, know billionaires that are miserable and it's because they're not grateful for what they have. And we both know people have no money seemingly, but they're so grateful for their health, for their husband, for their wife, for their children, they're so grateful to God, they're so grateful for their life that they're rich." You know, so I think it starts with that gratitude. It starts with that connection to grace, as simplistic as that sounds. And so it's not enough just to have your financial plan. You have all the money and be miserable. Let's have the money and be really rich emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. Failure is part of life. I mean, the difference for me though is I look at failure as a stepping stone to success. It's a speed bump. I know I'm gonna fail, but it's not failure if you learn something. And so, gosh, I've made so many mistakes. I've screwed so many things up, but Every time I do, it just becomes a way for me to explain to someone else what it takes. You know, it's like, here's what I've done. I think I have the ability to influence people because I talk about my failures. I talk about all the things that mess me up, but I show people that I didn't let it stop me, and you don't need to let it stop you. And I think that's really the secret in that area.

And if everything you touched was successful, you probably wouldn't be able to relate to people as much.

No, you wouldn't be able to relate, and also it'd be total bullshit, and everyone would know it's bullshit.

And also you'd be bored silly.

I mean, think about it. If you just said, I want this to happen, I want this to happen, People don't value what they don't fight for. It's like you see kids sometimes, your parents will say, "You're not going to value this if you don't work for it." And you're a kid going, "I'll value it, just give it to me." But it's true. The things we've worked the hardest for, we value the most. So I think the purpose of a goal is not getting it anyway. The purpose of a goal is who you become. Who you become is going to make you happier, it's going to make you sad. I'm not looking for an effortless approach. There's no such thing.

So, Tony, uh, one of the critics actually that I once met said, yeah, Tony's techniques, they were great for about a year and a half, and then they wore off.

What do you say to that? It's real simple. If you don't work out, you don't get a— you don't get a muscle, right? So I always tell people, this is— there's a daily practice, like priming. If you don't do that, if you get up and you just have no discipline whatsoever, you get no value of anything. Diets don't work when you don't do them. Exercise doesn't work when you don't do them, but most of the people have some experiences that they want to shift, and once you shift those things, your whole life changes, but life is constant growth. My life isn't here because I went to one seminar one time and now my life is fit for life. I work out, I train my mind, I train my body, and it becomes a lifestyle. It's not just like you're depending upon somebody else. I'm not here to become somebody's guru. I'm not here to give them a gift. I'm here for them to open up their own gifts, and that's really what my work has been.

The only way to deal with fear that I found in my life is a couple of ways. One of those ways is to turn it on itself and ask yourself, what am I afraid of? I'm afraid of that. I got to be more afraid of what I'm going to miss out on, missing out on my mission, missing out who I'm supposed to be. In other words, if you're not going to get rid of fear, then use fear. Use fear or it uses you. It's that simple. So you got to say, okay, what's the price if I just stay doing this? What's the price? What do I need to really even get scared if I learn all this, I don't follow through?

That's something to be scared about.

And then that fear will get you over your fear. It'll push you through.

Turn fear on itself. Second way you can do it is use what you've probably heard me say, because I've used it since I was 17, is my little rocking chair test, right?

I'm gonna sit myself in my rocking chair, I'm 85 years old and looking back on my life, and I say, "I didn't do this," or, "I did." If you find your passion, you're gonna have this tremendous energy. It's sustainable energy. But momentum requires you always do the next thing to keep the momentum going. And the reason you get yourself in a passionate place is so that you change your life. And the only thing that changes your life is making a decision. So while you're in this passionate state, that's where you make decisions. You don't make decisions when you're like, "Oh, I don't know.

What do you think?

All right, let's decide." If you make a decision in a state without momentum, if you make a decision from a place where there's no passion, you are not going to get momentum. It'll kill momentum. It's decide, commit, and resolve. Some of you in the past, you've gotten momentum, you've gotten passionate, you've even made a decision, but A decision is the first step. Decision is like a war. I gotta do this or that. All right, I'm gonna make myself do this. But commitment is when you now, after you've decided, you commit to do this for the long term. Whether it's hard or easy doesn't matter. You're doing this. It takes it from this moment and it carries you to the future even when things are difficult. And the third state is resolve. Resolve means it's done. It's like it doesn't even— if you took action, it's done inside you, so it's done out there. There's no question whatsoever. Then once you decide, the only way the commitment and the energy and the momentum continues is if you take immediate massive—

what, my friends?

Massive what? Write down in your notes. Massive action is the cure-all. Massive action is the cure-all. If you're having a difficult time with something, your relationship isn't where you want it to be, your finances are not where you want to be, your body's not where you want to be, your business is not where you want to be, you need to take massive action. And if that doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Keep going with massive action and you will find the way because it will give you momentum.

Thank you guys so much for watching. We're continuing to experiment with the Volume 2 series, so I hope you enjoyed it. I'd love to know what did Tony say here that had the biggest impact on you and why? What are you going to immediately apply somehow to your life or your business? Please leave it down in the comments below and I'm going to join in the discussion. I also want to give a quick shout out to D. Green. Thank you so much, man, for picking up a copy of my book. Your One Word and making that awesome silent tribute video on YouTube. I really appreciate your creativity and your support. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you soon.

'Cause you'll never earn your way to financial fortune. Even people that make just loads of money, the actors, the actresses, the athletes, where are they 10 and 15 years later? I mean, 50 Cent made $100 million on Vitaminwater. He got a tip and he got like a $200 or $300 million net worth and he's bankrupt. He bought Mike Tyson's house, 25,000 square feet, and Mike Tyson made $500 million and went bankrupt. Right now, I don't know if you saw Johnny Depp, I don't know if it's gonna happen or not, but the papers are saying he may go bankrupt. He made 3/4 of a billion dollars as a movie star, but he spent $30,000 a month on wine. He must be feeling good. And secondly, he took Hunter Thompson, the reporter, he burned his body and paid $3 million to blow his ashes into the sky in a cannon. So no matter how much money you make, you can screw it up, right? But if you will just decide there's a percentage of my income that no matter what, I'm gonna have it automated. I'm not gonna see it. It's gonna go straight to an investment account. And I don't know if it's $10,000 or $15,000 or $20,000. Those numbers sound gigantic to most people. Even if you start with $5,000 and build, that income does not go to anybody else. And then you put that into compounding. So listen to this. There's a young man, true story, Theodore Johnson, 1950s, worked for UPS, never made more than $14,000 in annual income. In his entire life, retired with $70 million and he didn't inherit a dime. He gave away $35 million while he's alive. Now, how is that possible? Because of compound interest. When I interview all these investors and say, "What's the biggest mistake Americans make?" He said that they all said they don't tap into compound interest. They know intellectually a little bit what it means, but they don't do it. They don't do it consistently. So what do you do?

It basically just means that the profits you make go back into the investment.

You keep reinvesting and it keeps growing, but it grows geometrically. And so a friend of his came to this man who worked for UPS and said, "I'm gonna make you rich. We're gonna put a 20% tax on you." He said, "I can't give up 20%. I can't pay my bills if I do that." He said, "Listen, if the government raised your taxes 20% and you'd claim, you'd scream, you'd cry, you'd complain, and you'd pay it and you'd get adjusted to it." But he said, "This is not gonna be government. This is going into an account for your future." And that compounding is what made him that much money. In the book, I give you an example of, An 18-year-old boy whose father convinces him that he should save $300 a month out of his income. It's not a huge income. It sounds like a lot, but when you automate it, you forget about it. It's perfect. You adjust. Well, he does this from 18 years old to 27, for 8 years. So the total amount of money, $300 a month, about $4,000 a year, that's $28,000 total. He then puts— he leaves it in the market and never adds a dime to it from 28 years old on. At 65, because the market over those 30 years grew 10%, his money has compounded so much that he has $1.8 million. You don't need a lot of money to be wealthy, you need time.

So you're saying that even if I have student debt that I'm struggling to pay off, even if I'm making, say, $1,000 a week, that I should still try to put a percentage or make it a point to put a percentage not just into a savings account, but into an investment account.

Into an investment account. Where to put that money, then we teach you the ways to do that. It's got to be diversified. You never put all your money in the market. I want it—

okay.