Transform Pain into POWER! | Wayne Dyer

Pain is not a punishment, it's a teacher. When life presents challenges, they come with lessons wrapped in disguise.

If we learn to ask, what is it here to teach me, instead of resisting, we unlock the transformative power of gratitude. In this radio show, Wayne Dyer reveals how physical pain, like his debilitating neck issues, is often a gateway to spiritual growth, reminding us to slow down, refocus, and embrace divine love.

He challenges us to see obstacles not as setbacks, but as stepping stones to a higher purpose. Life is a tapestry of both valleys and peaks, and in embracing them all, we discover our infinite, unshakable connection to something greater.

Special thanks to Hay House for partnering with us to release this content exclusively on our YouTube channel. And if you make it all the way to the end of the video, leave a hashtag #believe in the comments below so I can celebrate with you. Believe.

Dr. Dyer traveling all over, was all over Australia. And now you're back.

So did you just say Dr. Wayne Dyer is alive? Is that yay, or did you say is live? I missed that.

No, I meant you're live, you know, live on the air.

This is, this is when you know you're getting older, you know, when you start your radio show and they say yes and he's alive, you know.

He is alive. Yeah, alive and well.

Yeah, yeah.

But you had some, some challenges on the trip, and you know, I'm still having some major challenges.

Crazy. Yeah, I've got, uh, I've got some kind of something crazy happened in my neck, and I had some seroidal injections and, you know, MRIs and epidurals. It's like I'm having a baby, and it was, uh, it's just been really very incapacitating. So, but I, I always look the way I look at all of these things. I'm feeling it right now, so every once in a while I may scream on when I'm talking, but that's okay. Um, is that everything? Everything happens for a reason, and, um, whatever it is that I'm to go through, whatever lessons I know in in, uh, in Louise's book on You Can Heal Your Life under neck injuries, um, the— she's— her contention is that, or what she learned is that neck issues relate to not being able to see, um, both sides of an issue that you might be involved in, not being able to see the other person's point of view, whatever that might be. I don't even have any conflicts like that that I can think of, maybe a couple of minor ones. So just not being able to fully just, uh you know, see perceptions how somebody else who might be involved in an area of dispute or so with you is seeing things. So it's like being able to— because I can move from left to right just fine. I can even move my head up, but moving it down to touch my chin to my chest, it just sends off these paroxysms of just crazy pain. And so I went to— I did all the things that I was supposed to do and did all the meditation. I meditated on it for like 2 hours a day. I still do. I did this morning. And then I went to San Diego. And I met this wonderful anesthesiologist doctor who does this kind of work, you know, and they gave me an epidural in my, in my lumbar, in my lower spine where I had been having difficulty, and that seemed to really work. Whatever it was, it took away a lot of pain that it had there, but the one in my neck just came back with a vengeance. And so I went down, I flew down to— because I was told not to go. He said, they said, you absolutely cannot go, it's not safe, blah blah blah, it's a 16-hour flight. And, um, but that's just not the way I do things. I committed to it and, uh, I wasn't going to cancel under any conditions. But when I got on stage, there were 3,000 people there in Melbourne. It was a wonderful, wonderful crowd, wonderful event. And about 40 minutes into it, this little gremlin on my neck just made himself known, like, uh, you're not going to be going on any longer. And I had to go down and not to my knee, and I went off the stage. First time in 40 years of speaking that I've ever had to do anything like that. But after about an hour, I was able to just calm it down, and then I went back out and I did it from a sitting position. And I thought, well, maybe that's what I had to learn, because all of the great speakers that I really loved throughout my life, really listening to, especially the speakers from the Far East and the great teachers, Nisargadatta and Muktananda and the Ramakrishna, and even Ram Dass, whose talks I used to go to way before he had a stroke, they'd always come out on the stage, and instead of walking and pacing instead of facing and sort of performing the way I've been doing for, for all these years. They would sit and talk and have a conversation. And I found I was able to do that if I was very careful about how I turned my neck and so on. So I'm going to be doing my public television special taping on the 25th of September in San Diego. And I'm going to be— we're going to set the whole setup as like a living room thing. And I'm going to sit. And I actually— so it took me about a week. And my friend Nick Ortner, who was there with us on this tour, Who's the Tapping Solution. He worked with me every day. What a kind, wonderful human being, and just really was just very concerned and helpful and still continues to call me every day. So I'm very, very grateful to him. In fact, I put something about it on my Facebook page, and he does things on tapping and pain relief and so on. That tapping thing is something I've been fascinated by, so I've been learning more about it. I've been doing some of it for the last few months. Nick is very, very good at it. So he worked with me all week in Sydney, and I went out and we had set up a nice living room scene, and I went out and spoke, and we did, uh, it was beautiful. We had a wonderful time there, and, uh, and I flew back to Honolulu, and, uh, I've been here.

I've been on—

I decided to go on the back on the master cleanse, so today is my 8th day. I have 2 more days of not eating any food, and I'm— my body is feeling very strong, feeling good. I'm back swimming and walking and all of that. It's just this neck thing, and And my weight is down to what I— I've been gluten-free. I've talked about the gluten thing before, and I'm going to do a PBS special on, on this gluten thing because I think it's such an issue in, in our culture, on this wheat belly and, uh, the Worry-Free Wheat-Free book through Hay House. And since I've been doing that and now doing the cleanse and so on, my weight is down to 180 this morning, which is when I was 6 foot 2 almost. So that's what I was when I was running marathons. So at 73, I got my weight where I wanted to be. And I just look at so many people who are just too big. I saw a lot of it in Australia as well, and I thought a lot of people don't realize that our food supply literally has been just sort of taken over by these big conglomerates, and I think it's being contaminated. The last issue of Time magazine has a cover on it called A World Without Bees. I don't know if you saw that or not.

Oh, I did. I read that article. That's fascinating.

And how dangerous that is to our world's food supply. Something like 70 to 80% of the food that we eat is pollinated through bees, and we can't get it without bees. but we were genetically modifying all this food that we're putting into the ground, and the bees don't realize, you know, the bees don't recognize it as, you know, if you plant something in there that's a flower that's been genetically modified, that bee isn't going to go for that. It's just, uh, and we're wondering why all of these things are happening, and, you know, and why our food supply has been, and why there's so much obesity in our culture, and why there's, uh, you know, even so much autism and, uh, and things that all of these things are just on such huge increases. Diabetes, these things are just hugely growing. And also in addition to the fact that people are just getting bigger and bigger and bigger and not doing, you know, and not gluttons, and they're finding that they eat more and they're trying to eat normally and so on, and they just keep gaining weight and so on.

And we have—

well, we're not moving either.

Yeah, right. But we've got to really take a hard look at what we are doing when we start genetically modifying our food supplies and allowing companies to get patents on these seeds and modifying the food so that it doesn't reproduce its next generation. And then all of a sudden, half the bee population of the, of the world is disappearing and not making a connection there between— we're starting to— we're manipulating, you know, our food supply, which is pollinated by the bees, and the bees just don't recognize it anymore. Lots and lots of things going on out there like that we really need to look at. And again, gluten is one of these things that's in— to move to that as well— is in something like 70 to 80% of also of the food that we eat. And it's coming from wheat that isn't wheat. You know, the wheat that we ate when we— when I was a kid, the little Wheaties and all of that, it's nothing like the wheat that's now being put into, uh, into the food supply today. It's, uh, that used to be— wheat used to grow 4 or 5 feet high and amber waves of grain. And, uh, you know, it's like now it's, uh, it's about 18 inches high. It's modified so that it's, uh, every year you have to go back to the company that owns the seeds for it. They can put about 10 times as much on an acre. They use new pesticides with it, and, um, and we haven't even tested it on, uh, long term on what impact, uh, this is having on, on our population. But you just have to look around and see there's some really, really dramatic changes taking place in humanity based on the food that we're eating. So lots of things to think about.

That's true, lots of things to learn about, definitely. But, uh, we were talking just a little bit before the show, and I just kind of wanted to bring this up because I know a lot of people are, you know, dealing with a healing situation. And I'm actually talking to you laying on my back because I'm in a lot of pain now. And you gave me some really good advice, just, you know, know that this isn't going to last forever and, you know, we'll be able to get through it.

Absolutely.

Not only that, I mean, I just think it's—

know that it has something to teach you. So ask yourself about this pain. And wherever there's pain, there's fear, because every time you have one of those little things, there's fear.

And wherever there's fear, there isn't love.

So start sending love to this pain instead of fear to it and meditate on it and ask, what is it that you want from me? Why is it that you've shown up here? What is— do I have to slow down? Perhaps for me, I look at being on stage and having to go off in sharp, excruciating pain. And when I came back out, I asked the question, what is this for me? And it's like I start to realize that the kinds of things that I'm talking about now related to divine love and much more emphasis on, on kindness and moving this world away from the inner terror that so many people have that is creating so much of the outer terror and the outer terrorism, the hatred that's in our hearts. This requires me to perhaps sit down and just talk to people and just look directly at them and to just have a conversation just like I'm doing right now with you, rather than standing up and performing and so on. So maybe this is the universe's way of saying Sit down, you know, just, just relax. And, uh, and I've been dealing with this pain. It's been almost chronic for about 4, 4 weeks now. Sometimes where it'll just take me to my knees, but every time it does, I say a prayer of gratitude for it and ask what's in it for me. And I know that there are many, many people have come to me with, uh, with a lot of help. I've decided not to feed it any longer, uh, pain pills and things like that, because I just, I just don't like what those things, uh, you know, what the side effects of them are on my body. And, uh, and putting those kind of drugs into my body is not something that I want to do. So I'm cleansing and just taking it as a— it's just another lesson. Everything that comes into our life comes for a reason. And so talk to it in those ways.

I'll work on it.

And yeah, you'll be better.

You'll be better.

So I'll be back to yoga in no time. Well, we have a— you know, a lot of people are anxious to talk to you. So let's grab a few calls while we still have time. Some beautiful people up here. So let's start with Jill. I'm lying on the floor, it's terrible. Here's Jill, and she's in Chicago on line 1. And Jill, you're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer today.

Thank you for taking my call.

Hi, Jill.

First of all, I want to thank you because I heard about your long-distance healing, so I ended up getting one too. Not as extensive as yours, but I did it from John of God. Yes, it was very helpful.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. It's just very interesting you say that before I talk to you, that I just had a woman, uh, over here. Her name's Christy, and she— I got to know her a while back, and her mom has terminal cancer, and she's in her early 50s, and she was crying. And so I made a— I provided for a way for them to go down to, uh, Brazil and spend 2 weeks down there. I took care of that for them. And she was just here the other day and brought me back so many things, including some of the, uh, herbs for me and, you know, for this thing that's been going on in my body these days. And, um, and it was just— and I, you know what, for the first time I felt those entities back in. Because when she was here, she had just come back from there and brought me these crystals. And, uh, and, and the whole— and I had been having a little difficulty in walking and so on. And, and when, when she was here, that all of that seemed to change. I really felt that those entities were there. So, and her mother had an intervention while she was down there. And it looks like she's on a healing path, and she's got some kind of ocular cancer that started in her eye and has moved throughout her body. And it looks like she's healing. So I'm just feeling really on top of the world about being able to be an instrument of helping that to come about. And then to hear you say that, the first thing I hear on this call today. So tell me what happened. What did you do?

Well, I just did it over the internet, right? You know, put in my information and what I wanted healed. And they sent me the herbs. The herbs came right away, uh-huh. And I felt like right away when I sent the email, right away my heart opened, and then I was present during the time he was doing the healings, and I felt a lot of energy work in my female area and in my chest, and I felt lighter and not so heavy.

Mm-hmm.

That's wonderful. That's it.

Right away I started feeling stuff, and I haven't been that heavy since.

Well, that's so wonderful.

I was listening to you somewhere talk about it, and I looked it up, so I did it through John of God.

Yes, he's a, he's a miraculous being on this planet. He's a total gift. He's living Christ consciousness. He's never charged anybody anything for all of the wonderful work that he's done. He was hugely instrumental in making a major shift for me with the diagnosis of leukemia and taking that fear out of me through this remote surgery and replacing it with love. It changed my life. I wrote about it in Wishes Fulfilled. It's a very, very powerful experience. And as I said, this lady, this young woman, she's in her late 20s, and her mom both spent 2 weeks down there. Really radically changed and even came back here and brought the entities. I feel the entities were here with me because when I had that remote healing, I had that feeling that you're talking about, Jill, and my children were here and I just looked at them differently. The world looked different, the ocean looked different, the trees, everything just— there was just, you know, and what it was is like I just felt love for everything and everyone, and that's everything.

Wasn't so— isn't so personal.

Yeah.

Like, I was raised that if there's a problem, it's my fault. And so that separation happened where it's not personal.

I'm so glad you called today. That's, that's so wonderful. Congratulations, my dear. I'm sure you're on your way.

My question is, I know that you went through a lot of, you know, foster care and stuff like that. How did you move beyond your childhood? What, what did it for you?

What did it for me, dear, was, uh, was the awareness that, uh, that, um That everything that happened to me in my childhood happened for a reason, just like everything that's happening right now, including what happened with you to get you to pick up, go to the internet and create that remote connection to what's happened with me in the last 3 or 4 weeks where I've been somewhat immobilized by this neck pain, my childhood, various addictions that I've had in my life, separation from my family, my wife, all of it, all of it. All of it has— you just have to be in a state of gratitude for all of it. And I came into this world to teach self-reliance and be self-directed. I've written 41 books about it. I've devoted my entire adult life to it, and I had to go through the training in order to be able to do that. And the best way to learn training for how to teach people about self-reliance is to, to have to experience it yourself. And there's no better place for that than an orphanage or foster homes. Where you have just yourself to rely upon. And once you have that in place, all of the other experiences— I've just written an entire book about this called I Can See Clearly Now. It won't be out until March, but I looked at all of the experiences starting with my earliest years in foster care right up until just a recent experience I had in Turkey at the home of the Mother of Jesus in Ephesus, and every experience in between. Was all part of a tapestry that was orchestrated by a divine purpose. And while our lives are laid out for us, we select them before we come into this world. We also have choices to make along the way when whatever it is that we are supposed to learn is presented to us, right there before us. And that's why I spoke this morning about when you're in pain and when you're struggling, instead of praying for it to go away and hoping that— and asking yourself, why is this happening to me? Or putting the responsibility for it on some silly idea that you've done something to deserve this. Instead, you'd make a shift. You just make a shift and say that, you know, everything, you know, life is hills and valleys. And this is just a little valley. And when I'm in a valley, the only direction I can go if I keep moving is out of the valley and to the top. And when you're at the top, the only direction you can go if you keep moving is back down into another valley. And that's the sine, you know, that sine of, you know, when you study about electricity, it's a sine. There's a, there's a zenith and there's a nadir. There's an up and there's a down to it. That's how life is. And when these things come along, be in a state of gratitude for it and talk to it and ask, what is it that I have to learn from it? And get out of the way of agonizing over it or being upset with it or feeling sorry for yourself about it. And instead say, thank you, thank you, whatever it is that you have to teach me. You know, Diane's lying on her back right there right now. She needs to lie on her back today for whatever reason. She needs to have time to just go within and get quiet. I needed to experience leukemia. In order to become a more God-realized person, a more compassionate person. I needed to go through separation from my wife 13 years ago and the pain and almost clinical depression that followed that in order to be able to come to a more compassionate, kind, loving place myself. And I've written 6 or 7 books since that occurred, all of which have impacted the lives of millions and millions of people. And those millions of people, many of whom are listening right now, couldn't have been impacted in those ways had I not written those books. And I couldn't have written those books if I'd— if everything had just been going along hunky-dory the way I wanted it to go. I needed to have the valley. I needed to have it. We, uh, and it's all part of it. And when you really truly come to an awareness that who you are is not this body and not this— it's all this stuff that you accumulate, and that who you are is really an infinite divine God-realized being, a piece of God that just keeps occupying new bodies throughout your entire time, from the time you were 8 pounds until you're, you know, you know, dying, that who you are is that invisibleness that is indestructible. That is, you're carrying around something that is deathless within you. And the best way to take care of that temple that you live in is to get closer and closer to God. And that's my answer to that.

That was beautiful. Thank you.

You're very, very welcome.

You're so welcome.

So what you said to me was perfect.

Yeah, be grateful. Be in a state of gratitude. Be in a state of gratitude for all of it. Even the times when it seems to be the hardest. Say thank you. Try to just say thank you for it and just watch and see. It'll motivate you to want to do something for others rather than to think about yourself as well. Yeah. Thank you, Jill. Thank you, Jill. God bless you. Wonderful call today. Thank you from Chicago.

And I think I needed to hear that as well.

I was talking to you.

I needed to hear that.

It's true. I am not this body wracked with pain. And I am grateful because I have someone actually helping me. And, you know, there's a lot of people that are helping me and all the guys.

I told you someone to go to the studio. There's also, there's also a wonderful book. There's a wonderful book written about, about back pain that when I read it, it really—

it—

and I gave it to my mother to read by a man named John Sarno. I learned about it from a guy named Howard Stern, who I'm sure you've heard of, who has a radio show. And he had huge back problems many, many years ago. And this guy came on his show. He used to do his show lying on the ground. That's why I'm thinking about you lying on the ground. And John Sarno came into his office and he said he changed his life. You can read his book in an hour. It's called Healing Back Pain.

And I've heard of John Sarno. I'm going to check that out.

Yeah, Healing Back Pain. And he, uh, it's just a small, about 90-page book. In fact, I just went to Abu Dhabi earlier this year with my daughter Serena and her fiancé, and he was having these issues as well. And I had him read that book, and his— he hasn't had one back flutter even since he read that. And basically it's like you have to accept the diagnosis that there's physically nothing wrong with your back and there's no reason for you to be in that pain that you're in, that it's all emotional based. And once you accept that diagnosis that there's really nothing wrong with your back, you really can get that. And he said about 95 to 96% of the back issues that people have, there's really no reason. And even if they look at X-rays and they see all kinds of little cracks here and little things there, they said that's all the normal part of aging. Some people have that and have pain and other people have that and just never have pain.

Never have the pain.

So, Healing Back Pain, John Sarno. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Yeah, I'm going to check that out, you know, but I can really see where you can get on this downward spiral and start popping the pain pills. And I mean, I can really— I can see that very clearly. Oh, that could go terribly wrong.

I did that as well.

I'm not going to let that happen.

They gave me this Vicodin and a couple of things, and I took a couple of them, and I just thought, no, I don't like the way I'm talking. I don't like the way I'm I'm thinking I don't like the way my body is saying, no, this is not healthy for you.

There's a better way.

Just go out there. Yeah, just do better. Just cleanse yourself. So that's what I've been doing. And we're going to heal all of us.

We're going to take a short break. We're going to heal everybody. We'll be right back after just a few minutes here. More with Dr. Wayne Dyer and wishes fulfilled. Thanks for joining us. And we will be going right back to your calls and give you a chance to talk to Dr. Dyer. Let's go to line 3, Carrie, and she's in Alberta, Canada. Relationship question.

Hi, Karen.

Go ahead, Karen, you're on with Dr. Dyer.

Well, I— first of all, I have total compassion for neck issues, so I just want to, to just wish you and extend my, my heart to you both with having—

thank you.

But good news is that yes, you can overcome it.

Absolutely. Just a little necking, I think, would do it. That's what I was told. We can— well, we can do it spiritually. Okay, spiritual necking. How's that?

Yeah, it's really a lot better than what I've been involved with lately. But I, Mike, I guess like I don't even know really how to bring this into a short, sweet version, but I've, you know, feel like I've been, you know, on this path for so many years and changing so many things and letting go of so much. And my dog was my the last 16 years has really been my real companion, and I've never really— well, he's changed my life. He's— I'm actually doing spiritual work for a living because of him and, and the whole bit, and got me out of an abusive marriage, you know, 16 years ago, and on and on. But it was truly an inspiration. But I just had to say goodbye to him, and he has really been like— honestly, out of 50 years, my only true love of my life. And I am just having a hell of a time, and I know I need to grieve properly because in the past I would always put on that happy face and I wound up with post-traumatic stress because of not dealing with really what I feel. So I understand that at my core, but it's just that fine line. I don't— I just feel— I feel kind of, what is the point anymore? I just— I feel the fear of hopelessness. What is the point? What do I believe anymore?

What is your belief about your dog? Yeah, that you really think your dog was just whatever those bones and fur and teeth and things that it was. You really think that was your dog? You describe your dog as this, this, this being that came into your life and saved you. That beingness that is within that dog is the same beingness that's within you and all of us.

It's deathless.

It's your dog isn't the bones and the physicalness that it was. Your dog is an infinite, divine being that's always there with you.

And I think that's the frustrating thing for me, is because I do animal intuitive work like this for a living, and I get that, but it's just I, out of all the people, I thought that I would feel him energetically. I thought that I— you know, I just assumed it would be so easy, and I feel like I can do it for others, and right now I think— Where are you, my buddy? And I think that's what—

it's because you're so identified with your senses and believing that what your eyes and your ears and what you can see is reality, when in fact we all know that the only thing that's real is that, that which is never changing. Everything that's changing isn't real. The minute that you get a hold of something, you think you got what it is, it's something different. So it's not real, which is what your dog was. Your dog— if you're associating your dog with the physicalness that it was, it was constantly a constantly changing being. I got a great I have a great book for you to read, really. I mean, I think it's going to really help you a lot. It's called The Art of Racing in the Rain.

I'm reading it right now.

Oh, good. Yeah, I'm reading it. Wait till you get to the end of it. You're just going to be— it's written by a dog.

But, um, and this is what's so ironic because I do animal communication for a living, and it's just that I was shocked. Like, I'm so— I'm missing his physical self because he was just eye candy in my life too. And I think that's because I don't have a partner. And I haven't had one for years, and I think that became a big part of my life.

But you have to— there's something, Carrie, there's something you have to do today. And that, I mean, today I really feel a real calling to this. Go to the pound. Go to a place where there's a dog that's about to be taken and bring it home for you. That's what your dog wants you to do.

I mean, really and truly.

Well, you know, if you know about animals, you know, there's an animal shelter there and there's a dog waiting for you, and you need to understand that, uh, I don't feel like I can do that yet.

I feel like in the past I've always been open, and I do work at the shelter. I do volunteer a lot, and I—

you have to do it.

Pattern is I've been—

get ready—

you were to a point where people are saying, no, Carrie, you now have to look after yourself, because I've been caregiving for so long that I—

but that's how, that's how you take care of yourself, Carrie. That's what you've been doing for all these years. That's why you got out of that abusive relationship. You take care of yourself by taking care of others. This whole idea, this is a neurotic assumption that, you know, I've got to give up all of that other stuff and I just got to think about me. The best way to think about you is to forget about you and to put your attention and your love and your kind and extend it outward, which is what you have been doing. It's why you've been so successful and it's why you had such a love affair with your dog. And this idea that it's time to put all of that aside, the greatest joy that you have is your communication with your animals, and you're telling yourself that I'm going to deny myself that and that's going to make me feel better. There's just—

I just thought it's only been 2 weeks that I've lost them.

It doesn't matter. Weeks— there's no time, Carrie. There's no time. Weeks, months, years, it doesn't make any difference. There's an animal out there that needs to be saved that's yours, and I think you even already know what animal it is. You're just so terrified of getting yourself back into that place and taking care of an animal is nothing but just pure joy for you anyway.

So it's been a really hard road with us. So, like, I mean, at the end there, it's been— it has been challenging. And I think that's where I've got myself in bedridden from, like, not— like, I've, you know, learned that there is a point where I do have to listen to myself and honor that. And I think for me, I like— this is my— what I feel like Mukluk is guiding me to do is to start up a grief relief grief support group is what I feel.

That's wonderful.

I think that, you know, all of those— anything that you can do to get yourself defocused off of this idea that your dog has died, you know, you've got— your dog didn't die. Nothing dies, you know. Dying is not possible, you know. Things just keep getting transformed. Things just changing. Everything that materializes dematerializes. Everything that materializes dematerializes, and it's the spirit that gives life.

It's the—

that's the point. And in my life, I think I just feel there's been so much loss and so much—

you better get down on your knees and be grateful for every single one of those, including your abusive husband, you know, and all of those experiences that you had all along the way. Get out of the pity party, sweetheart, and start feeling sorry for yourself and reach out to somebody else today. Reach out to someone else today and think very strongly about— there's an animal that you, you know what this animal is. I think I think you know what animal it is. I really do. Something tells me that you do.

I don't. I actually haven't been to the shelter for a couple weeks, and I didn't go where the dogs were.

Yeah, well, so I—

like, because I'm not kidding you when I say I've been consumed by looking after my dog for quite some time.

I believe that, and I think that's, that's probably what has brought you to this great place that you are. And instead of you looking at your life and saying, look at what I've been able to accomplish, look at how far I've transcended, look at all the accomplishments that I have 'Look at how much love that I've given.' Instead of doing all of that, you're busy filling your head with all of the stuff that didn't happen and shouldn't have happened and full of disappointments about yourself. And all you're doing is disappointing the highest place within yourself, which is God.

I just feel like I've never honored grieving before, and I feel like that is what I've learned too, that there is a point where I do need to feel what I feel. And I— because I would always dishonor that. I'd always go, 'No, I'm a good person,' and I would climb that higher ladder and And it caught up to me. It caught up.

My teacher was Abraham Maslow, and he said often to us, you know, that self-actualizing people, the people who are the highestly evolved people on the planet, get over death almost as if it didn't happen. And most people think of that as a flaw and that they're not through the grieving process and they don't go through all the steps that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross laid out for us. But the fact is, that there's no need to grieve if you understand, you know, if you understand the messages of Abraham, if you understand the messages of that, that who we are are infinite divine beings, you know, that, that can never die. You know, I think dust to dust was not written of the soul. It's not— that's not what— that's not the soul, you know. It's like who we are is— who we are is infinite, including you and including your beautiful dog.

When it's funny, because with people I've lost, it didn't faze me. It's like I just know they're in a happier place.

Yeah, it's because you, you believe that Because you still don't get the idea that love is not something that's physical. Love is just, it's an outpouring of your essence, of who you are. And it isn't, you got it located in an object, in a creature.

When I get my mother here, like energetically, I get that. It's just, I'm feeling, I admit I am really missing his physical presence in my life. Just to have that little face wake me up in the morning. And that—

well, there's another, there's another little face that's waiting for you, I promise you. And if you, if you do that, you will be healed immediately, instantaneously. I'm getting— I'm, I'm coming to you from a place of truth right here. And, and I— yeah, I really feel it very, very strongly, dear. You do not have to take time away to get away to take care of yourself by not serving others. Serving others is the way that you do take care of yourself. That's what makes you feel the best. When I can do something for somebody else, that's when I feel absolutely the best. It's when I'm constantly thinking about myself that I want to get under the covers.

And I am showing up with my work and helping people and that, which is taking a lot. But you know, it's just one— I would love your take just quickly on this. Could I just ask you something?

That's real quickly because we've got—

yeah, it's just that, that I ended up that I've used for years for Buckluck and my other animals. And long story short, I've never looked at him in any way, shape, or form as anything other than my vet. And I feel like my dog is up to something because it's all of a sudden there's something with my vet. But because it's—

I love it—

my— because there's something professional there, like I've never crossed that with him. And we're very—

what's professional? What's professional about a vet? You're not his— you're not— you're not one of his patients. What's professional about that?

Yeah, he does work with my animals, and I've done a lot of rescue work with him.

And there it is, there's your dog telling you, okay, so you're missing the love that I've got, so here's one for you, and you're going to deny it? Forget about that profession.

I don't even know if he knows I exist in that way, because I've always been just Carrie, the patient, or here with—

No, you know. You know.

I do?

Yeah, you know if he notices you and if he feels something. You know, send them a gift, give them a call, talk to them, invite them to go for a sandwich.

Really?

Absolutely.

Of course.

You don't have to— you know, you only— you're only getting one shot at this life. You know, it's like, you know, I just— I read a book while I was in Australia called The Five Regrets of the Dying. You know, so this was a woman who worked with dying people. She was a nurse, you know, and she worked, you know, where people come to die. And she interviewed them, thousands of them. And, and what do you think the top regret of all of the people that she interviewed all of these years when she was doing that divine work she was doing. What do you think the top regret of people who are dying is?

Well, it's the things that they didn't do, things that they didn't say.

Yeah, it's that I wish, I really wish I'd have had the courage to live my life and do the things that I felt that I should do. That's the number one regret of the dying. So you're one of the dying. We're all dying, you know, if we identify with our bodies. So don't fill yourself with regret. Pick up the phone, call, and you'll find out in a minute, and it is your dog talking.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, you know what? Thank you for that because I just felt that, you know what, I don't need to pound the pavement anymore because that's my old personality, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. So if it's meant to be, let it go. But it's just—

right, exactly right. Well, here it is. Greatest lesson I can give you of this: you never regret what you do. You only regret what you don't do. Okay, so there you go. So if you do something and it doesn't work out, you don't regret that. You say, okay, I learned. Now I know what to do.

It.

Okay. But if you always wonder, and I always learned that, I learned that at my 30th high school reunion when I was dancing with Janice Nelson and she was the prettiest thing I could, I had ever seen 30 years before when I was in high school. And I was telling her that as I was dancing with her, you know, and I said, I just never had the courage to call you up. I wanted to take you out so badly. And she said, oh my God, I always had a crush on you. I always wished that you would have called. And I'm going, oh my God, there you go again. You know, 30 years or, you know, and I would have known if I'd have picked up the phone, I would have known either way. I would have known own.

So funny though, isn't it, when you just— like, I mean, for example, this bed, I've never looked at him in that way, period, ever. And so now it's— it's— and I said, I guess it's a very vulnerable place. I don't want to feel like an idiot, but I guess I'll get over it.

There's nothing to feel about. It's just kindness. It's just being with another human being. Absolutely.

Thank you so much.

Thanks, Carrie. God bless you, dear.

And let's see, well, you were just in Australia, so let's go there. Gladys in Sydney. And she is on line 6. Oh, I'm still there.

Hi, I'm here. This is Happy Bottom.

This is Happy Bottom. The Happy Bottom.

Oh, I remember that call.

Gladys.

Yes, Gladys. You said I was gonna look up to him. I did.

You were there.

Not only, not only was Gladys there with me in, uh, in Melbourne when I went flying off the stage and the this excruciating pain. But she also came to Sydney. Oh, it's so good to hear your voice. So what did you think of all of that, my dear?

Well, that's why I called you. I wanted to let you know that reading your books, especially Wishes Fulfilled, which is the one that changed my life, knowing your change of thoughts change your life, and knowing that I can ask for everything, and the unity that is between all of us, the universe, and seeing you on stage was one of the most beautiful, wonderful, fulfilling things that I've done in my life. It was gorgeous. Wanting to meet you, I didn't realize how difficult it would be, but seeing you in pain in Melbourne, I thought, I thought, okay, my hug and my kiss, that's not going to happen because I'm not pulling on that neck. But hearing you speak was just beautiful, and you are everything that I thought you'd be on stage. You gave me goosebumps. I felt your energy. I'm not one to see extraordinary things, but with you, I saw your aura. I saw that shiny thing that people talk about around people with you. I saw that and I was— it just, it really blew me away. And I wanted to thank you for that because you are truly a wonderful human being. It inspired me to grab my passport and go and renew it because I want to be there with you in January.

I said, oh, within Maui. Oh, that would be—

yeah.

Yeah, that would be so wonderful. Yes, that's going to be such an important weekend.

Yeah, it's my intention to be there. It was my intention to have that picture with you because I have it on my vision board, as I told you before. I knew once I saw you the first time in Melbourne that that wasn't going to be, but it gave me the inspiration to go and see you in Maui, and I will get my picture with you.

Oh, you definitely will. You'll definitely— it's interesting. I wanted to speak, Gladys, just for a moment about about that experience, because for me, this was a, this was a very unique experience. I mean, I've been doing public speaking for 40 years almost, you know, since my early 30s. I'm 73, so it's been over 40 years, and I've never ever had anything like that where I just could not continue because, uh, and I've gone on with fevers and I've gone on with sore backs and all of that, and usually they just dissolve and go away because the, the adrenaline just sort of takes over and you just sort of temporarily heal yourself. Stuff. But this was something that even when I went out there, I knew, I knew wasn't going to go away. And then when I was backstage, after about 40 minutes, when I just couldn't, uh, I just couldn't focus any longer because the pain was so excruciating that I couldn't even remember hardly my name, it hurt so much. But they wanted to put me in an ambulance and take me to the hospital and all of this. And I just kept saying to everyone, everyone just calm down, you know, God is right here right now. There's 3,000 people out there, and I didn't fly all the way down here to disappoint them and walk away in an ambulance. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back. Just give me a sign. Then Nick Ortner came out and he did the tapping session, a beautiful time. Gave one of the best talks he's ever given out there.

Did you feel it when we were tapping on you? Did you feel that?

I did feel it. I absolutely did feel it because he had the whole everybody tapping on this healing thing and I just kept—

I melted up.

And then I walked back out after about 1 hour. I walked back and I sat down and I talked for the rest. I gave it like an hour and a half.

I could have gone on and on all day.

And it all came back and everything was there. And then when I went back to my hotel room, I thought, this is now this. In fact, Deepak Chopra was back there backstage with me because we were just appearing in the afternoon. And he was so concerned about what the people would think. This is going to— are they going to think that you're weak? Are they going to think that? And I told Deepak, I said, it hasn't— I said, I'm not the least bit concerned about that. I said, I have the there's 3,000 people in this room who love me and, and are sending me love, and I'm going to go back out there and this healing will take place. And whatever healing it was that I needed to get there, and then through the whole next week until I did Sydney the following Saturday. And that, you know, the one in Sydney, I mean, you were there. How did you feel it went?

Yes. Oh, it was beautiful. I knew that you had the neck pain, and, and I was hoping that you would be okay for that show because I wanted to hear everything you had to say. And I love the setup, and I love the fact that you spoke about the experience and you changed it up a little bit, and then it gave me that different perspective of you and put everything together for me. It put all your teachings, and I could see, because I've seen you in DVDs before, I could see the change in you, and that was wonderful to see that you've evolved into this, this everything that you write about, this divine love that you speak about, you can see it in your eyes.

It's just It's so amazing. Thank you. Thank you for that.

That's so wonderful because in your eyes— but yeah, I got—

I've got to go.

We've just— I noticed we just got a minute to go, but I, I really feel God was right there, uh, with me. And, and, and I give thanks for that experience. I don't— I'm not ashamed of that or embarrassed about it at all. I give thanks for that. It's brought me to a whole new place. Yeah. Thank you, Gladys. Thanks again for everyone. It was a wonderful show. And Diane, great show today.

Great message.

Yeah, thanks, Dr. Dyer.

Okay, God bless. See you next week.

Dr. Dyer, welcome.

Good morning, how are you?

I'm doing very, very well this morning.

That's great. I guess it's not morning anywhere else, but I'm in Hawaii.

I'm stuck in the same time zone all day long. What's going on in your life this week?

Well, I've just been giving a little thought to something that I was talking to my friend Byron Katie about. Just a few weeks ago at a seminar that we did, which I believe is going to be put out by Hay House as well in another month or two. It was an all-day seminar, and she spoke about not being in other people's business. And I've given that a lot of thought, and there's a lot of ways that that's something that interferes with us, especially with our own happiness and fulfillment as people. One of the things that I've noticed a lot— I don't know if you've noticed it, Summer— but if you look on the newsstand recently, you're going to see just a proliferation of these gossip magazines. Magazines, and they all look almost the same. And there used to be one or two. There was like People magazine and Us magazine and a few others. But now there must be 50 of these things that are, that are out there, and they all cover the, they all cover the same things, the same people. I think it's Angelina and it's Jennifer and it's Brad and maybe a handful of others of people who are celebrity-type people, and they, and they have photographers following them around wherever they go. And every one of these magazines, in fact many of them, just use the same pictures over and over and over again. And every week it's the same, it's the continuous thing. And I keep thinking about why are there so many of these now? Why is it— there must be a great deal of profit in that. And why is this one great big profitable item that the American people seem to be just obsessed with, with the, the business of other people, like the, uh, you know, who's had plastic surgery, who's pregnant, who looks pregnant, who looks like maybe they would want to be pregnant, who look— you know, every story is just sort of a continuation of people being obsessed with other people's business. And one of the things that I've learned specifically in the last year or so working on my new book called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, which won't be out until later this year, but it's on living the Tao. And many of you who follow this radio show know that I have been working on writing individual essays about the 81 verses that Lao Tzu wrote about 2,500 years ago and how to apply this ancient and powerful wisdom. So what I've done is, you know, I've looked at this, this whole concept of not interfering in our lives and not being obsessed with, you know, other people's lives. The Tao teaches us that non-interference is the most important thing and most important place that we can go to in our lives. So I was just the other day, I was assigned to sort of a little babysitting adventure with my grandson and two little girls, and I was watching them for three hours out by the pool. And I noticed I was trying to practice this non-interference, staying out of other people's business and just making sure that these are three little children that know how to swim and all that, but just make sure that they're safe. But anything else, just stay out of their business. I had made up my mind, I'm going to just stay out of their business. And I would watch the two of them would go together down at one end of the pool, and they'd be fighting about something, and they'd be arguing about this, and then they'd want to come and tell me to to resolve it. It was back and forth, back and forth with this continuous trying to include me in their business. I was determined that I was going to stay out of their business. I would watch as— like I was in the pool with one of the little girls, her name is Kylie, and she started being unhappy about something that her sister had said or my grandson had said. I looked at her and I said, "Well, you get that resolved and I'll be right back." I dove down to the bottom of the pool and swam to the other edge of the pool. By the time I got to the other end of the pool, maybe 20 seconds later, I stuck my head up, the two of them were hugging. And I found that over a 3-hour period, that I could completely stay out of the business of these little children, and they could resolve it themselves and were learning much, much more than just having one great big person come along and interfere. Now, there's an application between that and these gossip magazines, as strange as it may sound, and that is that I think that if you— who you are, whoever you are— if you're obsessed with what somebody else is doing in their life, who they're dating, what their sex life is like, whether or not they've gained weight, whether or not they've had a boob job, whether or not— the endless kind of obsession with this kind of information is something that you might really want to take a look at and ask yourself, am I in my business or am I in somebody else's business? And if I'm continuously putting my focus on what somebody else is doing, what I'm really doing is shifting the energy away from from living my life to its absolute fullest and instead living through the accomplishments or the lack of accomplishments or the bad news or the hard times or whatever it is of other people. And I urge you to just not participate in that, to stop purchasing those kinds of things, to stop simply reading them. Don't even open them up and look at that, and instead look within, look at your own life, because basically what we need, I think, are people who are fully committed to making this world a better place rather than just constantly being consumed with gossip about who's doing what and how it's taking place. So that's all I wanted to speak about today, this idea of staying out of other people's business, even your own children's business. One of the great lines that I remember from my earlier writing was that the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. The things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. And I was practicing that with my own little grandson and children and I watched as they resolved virtually everything rather than having me interfere. What do you think about that, mama of two?

I think it's a profoundly simple idea that is incredibly complex to actually execute.

Yeah, well, mothers always say that. Stay away from the fireplace. I'm going to interfere. But there's a big difference there between— obviously, if you bring children into the world, you can't just say, "All right, go out there and play next to the swimming pool. I know you know how to swim. If you fall in, you'll work it out." I'm not saying that at all, you know.

I know that, but being attuned to the difference of where you really are needed versus where you can step back.

Yeah, but you'd be surprised how often our young children invoke us to resolve conflicts or difficulties or even tiny little problems that if we just gave them maybe another 20 or 30 seconds, they could resolve. And I don't mean just little children either. I'm talking about teenagers. I'm talking about your adult children. I'm talking about your friends and everything else. Pretty much a lot. Allowing other people to figure it out when there's no danger is just something to look at and realize that by getting dragged in there yourself, almost always you become a part of their problem. And now, especially if you have two children there and you take sides with either one of them, then the other one is going to be upset and then back and forth you go.

Right. No, I hear exactly what you're saying, but you have to keep your mind attuned to that process.

—Right.

Exactly. Well, Dr. Dyer, I think we have time actually to go right to a call.

Go ahead.

Wonderful first section. We have Katie from Raton, New Mexico.

Katie, welcome to our show today. Hello, how are you?

Hi, Katie. Hi, Dr. Dyer.

How are you?

Good.

You're in New Mexico?

Yes.

I just saw a movie called Little Miss Sunshine. Oh, yes. Did you see that?

Well, actually, I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it. But it's from—

they're going from Albuquerque to Los Angeles.

Yes, they're starting to film a lot out here. Either—

yeah, they must be in Albuquerque mainly. Yes, right.

Well, how are you today? Oh, I'm pretty good. I was listening to you talk, and I guess my question is a little different, but that's okay. I was wondering, you know, you're talking about living inspired, and I am doing pretty good with— I am very inspired, but what I'm having trouble with is maintaining that. I guess there's so many things that can— I have— I'm starting a new business and it's a greenhouse business growing tomatoes. Actually, I've been doing this, but I'm expanding into a pretty large business now. I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm very inspired to do it. I keep getting— I don't know if I'd call them signs or something— from the universe that this is the right direction. What are the signs? Things like things start working out, or I talk to people that would maybe buy my product and they're very inspired about what I'm doing. The problem I'm having is the people around me that are close to me don't believe in this at all.

Well, this is related exactly to what I was talking about. They're in your business, aren't they?

Well, very much. My father is the main one, which I'm 50 years old, but he still likes to get into my business. I love him and he's very helpful, but he's very negative and he is very afraid for me to go into any kind of debt, let's say, because he's afraid. He's just afraid. He was always a gambler and a goer and a risk taker and all that, but now he's almost 80 and he doesn't want to see his daughters doing it.

Right, right.

He wants to see his grandchildren doing it. I cannot live the uninspired life that— he just keeps asking me, "Why can't you just be happy with what you're doing in the status quo?" But I would die.

I would literally die if I had to. There you go. That's the answer. When people say that to me, I'm 66 years old and if you look at my website, you'll see a whole host of weekend seminars and trips that I'm going to be taking around the country and going going to Europe and all of these kinds of things. Basically, I should just stay home and relax. I've done enough. Right. You have enough money. Stick around. I want to talk about this. It's really important. You know, one thing that you said there that I just want to reiterate before we leave is that you said that if I don't do it, I would die.

Well, I just don't see myself maintaining the status quo that I'm at right now. Yeah, and what is that status quo? Well, I'm working. I have my little greenhouse. It's only running 6 months out of the year, so right now I'm not. Actually, I'm just getting ready ready to start up again. But it's just not enough, you know. It's small and it's nice, and I enjoy helping the people that I help, but I've always had a bigger vision than this.

What do you love about this greenhouse tomato business?

Well, what I really love is the idea of producing really quality food and be able to deliver it.

And when you're in the process, when you're doing it, like when you're digging and when you're planting and when you've got the seeds and when you see the little shoots come out of the ground—

To me, it's just all a miracle. Isn't it? I mean, isn't it? It's almost like giving birth. It is, it is. And I get very excited over very little things, like a plant that maybe I brought back to life because I paid more attention to it. And I might be really excited about that, but I am having trouble finding other people that get as excited as I do.

Do you think it's possible that for your father, for example— you gave one person— to have that same feeling inside of him about that as you do?

Do I think it's possible? Yeah.

Do you— I mean, do you think it's plausible?

I mean, well, I think he does also see things sometimes. Um, he bought me on this little business I started, right? And said, you know, it's perishables and you're going to lose all your money and la la la la la, and you can't go against the big box stores. And I just had a lot of faith, and, and I've done way better than he ever thought I could do. And so for him, if you make a lot of money or make money doing it, it's successful.

Yeah, exactly. You know, he's kind of that frame. One of the great lessons that I learned, it was a very— as a young doctoral student from Abraham Maslow, one of the great teachers in my life, was that when he was describing people who achieve at the highest level, who reach what he called self-actualization at the very top of the pyramid, he had two assessments of them. One is that these are people who are detached from outcome. They are detached from outcome. And the other one is that they are independent of the good opinion of other people. Those are the two number one and number two criteria. Detached from outcome. And that's why I was asking you about the process. Of what it is that you do, of the digging, of bringing a plant back to life, of the excitement that you feel in participating in the dance of creation, which is what you are doing.

That's what I get excited about.

Yeah, and it's like letting— self-actualizing people let go of the outcome. They don't do what they do because of how much they're going to make, because it's going to make them successful, because they're going to get on the bestseller list, because they're going to sell a lot of tomatoes. They do it because it's just an exquisite thing and it just has to grow.

It is really exquisite.

That's what I would suggest to you as well. You want to live an inspired life? You just do what your heart tells you you're here for. It just makes your heart sing, what you're doing. I can hear that in you.

Right. I do. I mean, that's the time I'm very excited. What bothers me, I guess, is when I try to share it with my family or people close to me. And they just don't get it, or it's not exciting to them. Then I'm sort of left with this inspiration by myself a little bit right now.

You know what? That's another part of this whole process. The moment that you try to share what it is that you are doing that makes you feel so close to God, the minute that you try to do that, you invoke the ego. What happens is you're going to now have to explain it and defend it or be upset because other people don't understand it. Exactly. That's ego. The ego isn't where you're getting all of this inspiration from. You're getting it from spirit. That's what it means to be inspired, to be in spirit.

So the ego is trying to get the approval of others. Exactly.

So what you want to do is you want to detach from that and you just want to go out there and do it. And if somebody comes along who gets excited about it, like I can feel your excitement about these tomatoes. I really can. And I know what that feels like because I sometimes just, I'll get a little thing of plant seeds that somebody will send me in the mail. Little thing. Sometimes they implant them in greeting cards. I don't know if you've seen these now. And they just say tear the greeting card up and plant it in the dirt and just water it. And I do that and a week goes by and two weeks go by and all of a sudden this tiny little green thing just shoots up out of it and it's like one of the greatest feelings that you can have in life, to know that you're participating in this dance of creation. Right. And I don't try to tell anybody else about it. Someone will come out and look at that thing on my patio and say, "What, you got weeds growing in there?" Yeah, exactly.

I have a lot of cactus, and when I go in there in the mornings, every one of them is different. I may have new blooms every morning, or something exciting has happened over the nighttime and I can go in in the morning and it's like sitting there looking at me. I get so excited about the way the bloom looks, how is it possible that this little cactus—

This is where you have to stay, Katie. You really have to stay with it. When you said to me, "I would die inside if I wasn't doing this," I remember somebody asked that of Madonna, you know, the singer Madonna? Mm-hmm. I said, "You know, you've made millions and millions of dollars. You're very wealthy. Why do you continue to put out albums? Why do you keep singing?" I'll never forget what she said. She said, "Because if I didn't do it, I would die inside." So whether it's singing or whether it's your tomatoes or whether it's— for me, it's my writing or my speaking or whatever it is, whoever you are out there, whatever it is that makes your heart sing, stay with that and the universe will take care of the details. The profits are just not that important.

You. Okay, thank you.

Thank you so much. What a lovely call. Thanks, God bless you. Thanks, Katie.

Interesting metaphor there for, for living.

Yes, it really is. That's something, that thing that excites us. And none of us, none of us— everybody has it. So for somebody, it's just throwing a baseball, you know, just getting out there and doing that all day long. For somebody else, it's sitting and drawing. One of my kids would just sit there and draw and draw and draw and draw. One of my children would just get— all she could think about was horses. That went in her whole life. All she and when she got her horse and she would get on that horse, I mean, her, just her whole, her whole institution as a person, everything about her would shift because of the joy that she felt. She had connected to her source, and that's what we're talking about here.

Well, I can see that this is going to be an interesting hour of calls, Dr. Dyer, because we're going now to Sue in Irvine, California on line 9, and I think she also has a similarly unusual question for you.

Sue, welcome to our show. Hi, Dr. Dyer. I'm such a fan of you. I can't believe I'm talking to you. Thank you.

That's nice to talk to you.

My question is just, I have a son, he's 24 years old, and he's getting his master's degree this year in public policy. But right now he's getting involved with, you know, hard metal band group.

With what? Like a hard metal music, you know.

Yes, hard metal. Yes.

Yes. And then And you know, Dr. Dyer, this is totally very, very different for us because we are not American. I'm from the Middle East, and this is so against our culture because, you know, all our children are either like engineers or doctors or always professionals. And then, you know how you were saying that if you love someone, you leave them alone?

Yeah, we have to learn to love the things we love. We have to learn to leave alone. Yeah, I mean, and the truth of that is, you know, it's like if you really love something and you try to help it out, get in the way of it. There's a wonderful, um, and I'll get back to the hard metal thing in a moment, but there's a wonderful story. I always remember this from when I was back in graduate school, of, um, they would film these, uh, little baby chickens, uh, that were inside. They could actually see through X-rays, they could see them, uh, as they were trying to poke their little, uh, beaks, uh, you know, against the shell in order to get out, okay, to, to become born. And, uh, they would struggle and struggle and struggle, and it's such a hard little thing because they got these tiny little things inside of this eggshell, and they have to break that shell. So that some of the students, what they would do is they would try to help the little bird along by just cracking it a little bit so it would be easier for it. And every single time, one of the, uh, students, uh, that were doing this because in their sympathy and in their desire to help this other person, or this little tiny baby chicken, they would, uh, the chicken would die. The thing would, every single time it would die. But the ones that were left alone, the ones that, you know, because the part of the process apparently for being born for a little tiny chicken is that it has to, it has to go through that struggle, that, that real, real, real hard exertion is what gives it the strength to be able to to break through and to move on. And I think we have to remember, it's a simple little metaphor, but we have to remember it with our own children as well and with everyone else, and especially even a 24-year-old. If he is feeling deeply within him that this kind of heavy metal music is something that is his calling and he's really attracted to it, I think letting him go is— he's Might be the way. Look, come, don't, don't go away. We'll come back to it. Okay. Okay. Well, is it a band that he wants to start?

Yes. Well, no, he is right now in a band. He plays bass there. How's he doing? You know, believe it or not, I just saw it once and I couldn't stand it at all. I was like, I was going crazy. I thought, this is not my son. This is not your son?

We're all after him. What do you think he should be singing? Oh, Solo Mio? No, no.

That was the last program. We had our opera singer on from New York. Remember that?

I do.

No, but Doctor, you know, I'm so involved with it because every time I see these movies about these hard metals, they're always involving drugs and alcohol. It's just—

But that's not the case. That's only some of them. I mean, there are some of the— some of the— there are rappers for Jesus that are out there. There are hard metal people who are singing songs that are really attempting to, you know, who are against violence and who hate the wars and so on. I don't know where your son stands on this. That. But all I know for sure is that if he's in that band and if he's playing it and if he feels that it's something that he has to do and it's not interfering with anybody else's, you know, life and not hurting anyone, then I think giving him your blessing would be probably the best thing that you could do.

But Doctor, how about the investment we did for him for so many years for going to school? He could have not— you know what I'm saying? Because he could have done this without even going to school.

But he's only 24. I mean, um, he's 24 years old. I mean, it doesn't mean that when he's 50 he's going to still be singing in a— and, but we don't— we really don't know. None of us do, because it isn't up to us to, uh, to make those kinds of decisions for other people. I mean, you can— you can put a kid into school and you can send their tuitions in and you can have them take all of their courses and stuff and so on, but inside of them beats a drumbeat that is very different than the one that you hear. And for him, I mean, it's something that he has to do. Does he say that to you?

He said his music is his passion. He said that's what he always wanted to do. But he went to school, he went through— that's what I'm saying, he's getting his master's degree this year from a very prestigious university. Is gold.

What is your passion?

My passion, to be honest with you, for him or for my—

No, no, for you.

Oh, I'm, I'm too old.

I don't have any more passion, Doctor. Oh my goodness. How old are you? I'm 46.

You're 46? Yes. And you've already— you're already too old and you have no passion left?

No, I don't have any more passion. My passion were my children, Doctor.

Hmm. Well, I would, I would encourage you to understand, you know, what, what Gibran said about your children. Your children are not your children Children, they are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you. Your children came through you. They're not yours. And I would suggest to you that you, you probably have a great passion, something that inside of you, you know, is something that you've always wanted to do but you've never quite given yourself permission to do it because you've been so consumed, probably, with being such a wonderful mother and taking care of your children and all that. But now you're getting to a point where you're realizing that you can't make your children become what you think that they should be just because they happen to be biologically related to you. I would urge you, my dear, urge you very strongly to go within and look at what your own passion might be. Maybe you should go to school and find a course, find something that just excites you. What is it that excites you more than anything? Is there anything out there like that?

To be honest with you, Dr.

Dyer, I never even think about it. I go to work every day. I go home and cook for my husband. I have a great relationship with my husband, but I never thought anything to do anything for myself. I have to go find my passion because we were immigrants in this country and we always work and work and work.

But you are a child of God. You are a piece of God and you came into this world to complete something. There is something that you are here for. I know that if I had enough time with you, you would be able to spit it out. There has probably been some kind of a fear in there that if I do this, then I won't be as good a wife and I won't be as good a mother and I won't be as good a homemaker. But the fact is that if you felt that that deep sort of commitment to what it is that you are as a human being, what it is that you are. I think, and Summer, I mean, you might even add to that. I mean, you know, you're a mom, you've got a busy home and all of that, but you also have this great passion with this radio show. And how do you bring them both together?

Very carefully. Really, Sue, when I heard you say you're too old for passion, I just, I was shaking my head here, biting my tongue.

Well, I always listen to you every Monday, even though I'm at work right now, but I just have to listen to you. I just— my lunch hour, I take and listen to you. But that's what I'm saying, I don't see anything for myself anymore. I'm just looking forward for my children's future. Honestly, I don't— yeah, I think I'm done. I did all I could.

No, you're not, Sue. You're not even close to done. You're just beginning. In fact, the fact that you listen and the fact that you hear this and and you hear the kind of things that we speak about and you hear about being inspired and you hear about making a difference in the world. Mother Teresa didn't even start her work as a nun until she was 55. 55! And she's a saint. She's 10 years older than you are before she even went into her religious training and spent like 40 years making a huge difference in the lives of the whole world. You're hardly even beginning. I would say that to anybody that is out there. Out there. Go within, listen, get quiet, watch your children, enjoy them, but, but find your own passion as well and live that. And you're going to find yourself a really happier mother, wife. But most of all, your number one relationship in the world shouldn't be to your husband, it shouldn't be to your children, it should be to God. And that is the highest part of yourself. You are a piece of God. Thank you, my dear. Thank you so much.

I love you so much. I love you too. God bless you. God bless you too.

Thank you. Well, Dr. Dyer, you know, that call was really about Sue. I don't think it should have been about her son at all.

Well, that's why I shifted it.

Yeah, I agree with you. All right, let us go on.

Heavy metal is great. Bum ba bum ba bum ba bum ba, whatever. Yeah.

All right, Abby from Milford, Delaware. Abby, welcome to our program on Line 5 today. Hi.

Hi, Abby. Oh, I can't believe I'm actually speaking to you.

Why not? I'm just such a huge fan. I'm just— okay, I'm shaking like a leaf now.

Where are you located?

I'm in Delaware. Delaware. I think what you said to that woman about Mother Teresa had to have inspired her completely.

I think it was wonderful.

Most people don't realize that about— she was 55 when she decided to go into the nun—

either—

that's—

and do the kind of work that she was doing. Yeah. And look at Nancy Pelosi. Do you know who she is? No, I don't. I mean, she's the— she's the Speaker of the House in the United She's the first woman who's ever held— she's the third person in line to the— if the president and vice president were to die, she would be the president of the United States. She raised all 5 of her children and didn't go out into the— until they were all raised. And now she's, I think she's 64 or 65 years old, and she's out there as the Speaker of the House. I mean, she didn't start it until she was in her 50s. Wow. So there's lots and lots of room for all of us. Yeah. What is your question, dear?

Well, I think what I do is I constantly am thinking about creation and what the whole point in us even being here is, and like how it all began. Like, it's just so mind-boggling, just bends my mind and makes me feel so uneasy that I start to just wonder what's the point in anything, what's the point in doing anything. And I'll read books of yours and I'll hear different things that inspire me and make me feel enlightened, and I, for a moment, I'm just like, wow, that's awesome. And I'll think on that, and then the other stuff creeps in again, that I'm just like, well, what's the point? And I have doubt just constantly creeping in. And it sounds like there's a—

there's— it just sounds— I'm just guessing, but it sounds like there's like this huge fear of death. Is there— is there any—

it's just fear of even being alive, fear of thinking like, where did— how did God even start to make anything begin? And just all of that, the whole— just, I know I was watching— wrapping your brain around it is nearly impossible.

There was a story in the New York Times yesterday about the, you know, what life was like, what the world, what the universe was like at the very beginning, at what they call the Big Bang. And I always think, how could there be a beginning? Because you have to say, what was there before the beginning? And how could there be an end?

I can't help but be tremendously uneasy when I think about that. I just want to live and just be.

Stick around. Let's talk about it. So, like, in the great big context of things, it just all seems too big to even wrap our fingers around, doesn't it?

Mm-hmm. And yet—

So it makes me not stay inspired for long because I just start to doubt and say, "Well, what's the point? I don't even—" Yeah.

The real essence of what we're talking about here is the ability to be able to stay in the moment. You know, it's because what we do with the kind of questions that you're asking and the kind of things that we contemplate, you know, like how big is this and how long am I going to be dead and is there life after life and, you know, and where does the universe end and how could such a thing even begin and you look out at the billions and billions of stars and realize that there's endless numbers of galaxies with even more stars, you know, and it just goes and goes and goes frozen. If we were to just take off and shoot up into the sky and say, okay, I'll just keep going, and how far will I— will I ever come to the end of the universe? And you'll find out that there can't be an end. I mean, how could there be an end? What would be at the end? A wall? And then you have to ask yourself, well, what's on the other end of the wall? What's on the other side? It's like that endlessness. Because who we are— and this is really important— who we are is this paradox of that which began and ended. You know, that's this body of ours. It began in a moment and it ended in a moment. But internally within us there's this huge paradox of all of these thoughts and all of this stuff that comes out of nowhere. Comes out like, what is a mind and what is a thought and where does it come from? And we can go inside of ourselves and we can find the command center that allows— in the brain that allows us to have a thought, but we can never find the commander in the command center that's in there directing us to move our fingers or to go forward or to have this idea. And it's like, instead of fighting it and getting worried about it and It's like, move yourself always back into this moment. Say to yourself, "Here, now, this is all that I have, and whatever I can do to make it a better place for myself and for others, that's got to be enough." That seems to me what God does. You know? I try.

I do that often, and I'll get myself back in the moment and I'll say, "Okay, I don't need to know. I don't have to wrap my brain around all that. I can just be." I feel like everybody else is just living and just being, and there's just me, little old me, sitting here questioning it all.

No, no, little old me does the same thing.

And I can't, it just feels like it paralyzes me. Like I just can't.

Oh, well, that's the thing it doesn't do for me. It doesn't paralyze me because sometimes I remember, I always tell the story when I was a little boy, I was living in an orphanage and I was about 7 years old and the lady whose house that we lived in, her name was Mrs. Scarf, she came out and she handed my brother David and I, we were sitting on the back steps, a banana. And I peeled the banana and she said, and she was sobbing, and she said, Mr. Scarf, died this morning. Now, I had never heard the— I had never heard the word death before when it related to a person. I'd heard it about chickens because we used to kill chickens, and I'd heard— I'd seen dead bugs and things, but I had never ever thought of the idea of people as dying. And I remember asking her, uh, when will he be back? And she said, never. Now, I went upstairs, and I lived on a bunk bed. I slept on a bunk bed. There were 6 of us that slept in this room, and I slept on the very top. And I laid there peeling, eating that banana. I could remember this like it was yesterday, trying to contemplate the concept of never, of never coming back. Just like it was the— and it's like, so I'd think, well, what if it was 100 years? Well, what if it was a million years? What if it— but never. And it was like, it was so paralyzing and so difficult for me that I had to immediately shift my thoughts off of it. It was just too much to even begin to contemplate. And there's a— that whole thing about the oneness of the universe, about what God must be like, about what it must to be in a universe which never ends, which is— that is something that you are going to know. You're going to know that. I believe that because I listen to Abraham, and I really believe that Abraham is one of the great teachers on the planet today. The teachings of Esther and Jerry Hicks— that moment when you leave this world of form and beginnings and ends and boundaries, and when you leave that and enter into that oneness, that space where all things are one, and that there's no beginnings, there's no ends, there's nothing for us to fear, you're going to know the greatest bliss that you've ever had. Why not work at doing that now? And if we're wrong, we're wrong.

And so that's how you've shifted from when you said as a boy the thought paralyzed you and now it doesn't.

Yeah, it does. It's so incomprehensible for us who believe that we did begin and end. That there is all of this. It's so incomprehensible for us because we're so connected to our ego, which is the part of us that believes we are this body, we are separate from everybody else, we are what we have, we are, you know, we are what we look like, we are whatever it is. And to get past that— and that's basically what my life work is, is really about teaching people to get past that and to be at peace with the great oneness. And then that great fear of death and that great fear that it doesn't all fit together together will leave us. That's all I can say about it. I mean, we could go on and on about it, but it's like— it's to me—

So what are some things I could do to get at that peace?

Always shift back into this moment and say, "How can I be at peace now?" What is it that I— you know, instead of using that great unknown as something to be afraid of, use that great unknown as something that you anticipate and that you're excited about and you have no fear about. Because every being who has ever been on this planet, every being, all the billions and billions of us, we all return. As the Tao said, the Tao, the way of Tao, is a return trip. We are on our way back to the place from which we originated. Why not make that return trip without having to die and enjoy every moment that we have? Okay.

Well, you are very inspiring and I just love your work.

and always telling people about your books and trying to spread your knowledge. Ah, well, thank you so much.

That's fascinating stuff, what you talked about. And to think that it's just little old you that is contemplating all of these things and wondering and all of that. It's not little old you. Every single one of us has this great desire to be connected to that thing from which we all came to, which we know is greater than we are. There is something to which all of us are connected that is greater than we are. And if we could just trust in it and just have faith in it, it will bring us a lot more peace.

And one more thing. I know I'm taking up a lot of time. That's okay. But I just got your Getting in the Gap book and CD. Would that help me?

Oh, absolutely. I was going to recommend that, as a matter of fact, that you look and do that meditation that's in that CD at the end of that book. It's called Japa, where you just repeat the sound of the name of God and watch the peacefulness come over you. What, and just sort of become the observer to how much joy and peace there is in those kinds of contemplative moments in which you make conscious contact with God. Okay. Okay, sweetheart. God bless you.

Okay, sweetie, keep doing that. Thank you. God bless you.

Thank you. Thanks for your call, Abby. Well, Dr. Dyer, we've only got a few minutes. Do you want to try taking one last person?

Yeah, let's take one more person.

How about Kim? She's been holding on from Halliburton, Ontario, Canada. Kim? Hi there.

Hi, Kimberly.

Come on in. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. Paul. Yeah, thank you.

How are you, my dear? I'm good.

It's a little chilly up here, but, uh, yes, I heard.

Yeah, a lot of snow.

Yeah. Um, my question, actually, I'll try to get to it quickly. Um, my husband and I are going to be moving in with his parents. I wondered how I can sort of maintain my spiritual balance.

The peace that you—

because we only have a minute or so— the peace that you want for yourself, okay? The joy, the peace, the happiness, the fulfillment, the, the just the sense of serenity that you desire for yourself. Yourself. Want it more for them than you do for yourself, and you'll live in peace with them. Wow. Okay. Want it more for them, whoever they are. They're much older, they've got whatever, but just as you think about what I want— what do I want? I want to be peaceful. I want to be able to live with these people happily. I want to be able to, you know, want that more for them. Every time you have this thing about me, shift it to them and just watch. And just watch how how much joy you'll receive in being able to serve these older people rather than thinking about how they're interfering or how they're not the same as you or how they're from a different generation. Let all of that go. Reach out, surround them with the kind of loving energy, and say, what can I do to give them the peace that I desire so much?

I love them very much, but you know, I want to take care of them. I want to, to help them. You know, I just wanted to— like you were talking about at the beginning of the show, how do you maintain and stay out of people's business and that kind It's a great—

it's a, you know, it— you, you've been given a gift, the ability to serve other people, the ability to serve, because that's what God realization is. God is doing nothing. The source is doing nothing but always providing, always giving, always making available to us the endless abundance and prosperity and joy and peace and happiness that's available to all of us. By doing that, by just continuously doing that, you'll, you'll forget all about yourself and just I say it's my turn to serve. My dear friend Ram Dass, who lives over here on Maui with me, said that the last year of his life when he took care of his father and he had to put him on the toilet and he had to wipe him and he had to lift him off, he said it was the greatest year of his life. He learned more from that than any other experience he had.

Oh, absolutely. They are our teachers for sure.

Yeah. Absolutely. Thank you.

God bless you. Thank you so much for your call.

And Dr. Dyer, until next week.

Thank you, my dear.

Okay, another good day here on Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration. Dr. Dyer, welcome to our show today. Thank you, Summer.

All right, it was great. We just had Louise's wonderful 80th birthday party in San Diego. Just flew back from there. It was a great, great event. What a wonderful evening.

Oh, it was fabulous. Definitely worth waiting for. Yes, waiting for 5 years at least we were waiting for, from her 75th now to her 80th. So how about that first principle, that one having to do with matching our daily habits with our true desire and the difficulty of doing so. Or I'm sure you'll explain how it's quite easy.

Well, this is really what the whole principle of, um, of balance is all about. Uh, when I use the word balance, I'm talking about having a balance, or what I call creating an alignment between our thoughts— what it is that we would like to be able to create for ourselves. If you would like to be able to create abundance and well-being and good, great relationships, or be able to get a job that you want, or, or be able to, you know, fulfill a an inner nagging destiny that you feel you just haven't been able to fulfill. That we have these desires, we have these thoughts that we put out there that we'd like to be able to manifest and create. And then we also have habits, and those habits don't very often match up with what it is that we would like to create. That people who believe, for example, that they can create well-being in their life and that they can heal themselves don't ever go around with the habit of thinking that it'll probably get worse and isn't this awful. And even the habit of always constantly taking pills and having somebody else diagnose your problems for you and so on, you begin to— you have a sort of a trust that you begin to develop for yourself that is in harmony with what it is that you want for yourself. So if you want to live a life of well-being, you have to really look at what kind of images and thoughts that you have inside of you that are either keeping you aligned with that or keeping you distant from that. And this is true for creating prosperity. I mean, people that absolutely know that prosperity is something that they can create, or a relationship of love and kindness and joy is something that they absolutely insist upon. They don't have habits. They are living that way. They don't have habits that are critical of another person, or believing that, you know, that your luck has always been bad and that other people are more fortunate than you are, and things like this. You shift around and understand that habits are just our habits of thought, and that our actions come from our thought. So I'm just gonna— this first chapter, uh, is a principle. I call it, uh, an infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one acorn. Just think about that for a minute and let— hear it in again. An infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one acorn. So here, and this is a metaphor, obviously, you've got an acorn and, uh, buried deep within that acorn in an invisible place is the potential to create an entire forest, an infinity of forests, an in fact. But it isn't going to happen unless this acorn is nurtured in a certain way, unless it, uh, you know, it gets itself into alignment with the creative process that allows all things to flow and come into the world. So the metaphor for this is, for you out there listening, is that an infinity of possibilities of being able to create virtually anything that any other human being has ever created or done, an infinity of these things lies dormant within the dreams of you. One little acorn, one little being, but if you don't nurture it and you don't provide for it and you don't allow it to flourish and to grow and to manifest in the way that it's destined to do, then it will just wither away, just like an acorn that will wither away if it's not nurtured properly. So I have a little section in this first chapter. This is a little book. I love this little book. It's, it's a green book. It's a what we call a puffy book. It's very similar in design to 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. It's just coming out just, uh, this month. In fact, this week it's just, uh, just being released. And I think there's 9 of those. I think you're going to really enjoy it. I was going to say, and there are 9 of these principles for getting yourself back in alignment with virtually everything that you'd like to create in your life. If you're overweight, if you have addiction difficulties, if you're having struggles in relationships, if you're having trouble with prosperity, all of these and others are all dealt with in individual principles. So I call this Restoring Balance. The objective of this principle— I'm just going to read a paragraph— is to create a balance between your dreams and your habits. The least complicated way to begin is to recognize the signs of habitual ways of being and then learn to shift your thinking to be in balance with your dreams. So what are your dreams? What is it that lives within you that's never gone away? What inner nightlight continues to glow low, even if it's only a glimmer in your thoughts and dreams. Whatever it is, however absurd it may seem to others, if you want to restore the balance between your dreams and your habits, you need to make a shift in the energy that you're contributing to your dreams. If you're out of balance, it's primarily because you've energetically allowed your habits to define your life. Those habits and the consequences thereof are the result of the energy you've given to them. And that's the most important thing I've said in there. If you're out of balance, it's because you've energetically allowed your habits to define your life. And most people's lives are defined by their habits— habitual ways of acting, of thinking. In response to virtually anything that might give them the opportunity to create and manifest their dreams, what they do instead is they go with their habits, their habits of telling themselves it's difficult to change, or it probably won't work out, or nobody will understand, or I can't make this move because of all the requirements that I have, or because of all of the things that people have told me in my family and so on. All of these kinds of habits that you have in your life are what are dictating your life. And what I'm asking you to do in being in balance is to allow your dreams, your inner vision, that inner night nightlight to not only become less than a nightlight, to become like a floodlight and be the guiding principle in your life. And that's what I want to say about balance and, and doing it. And I think maybe we can move to some phone calls if we have time.

Yes, if you are ready, we definitely have callers on the line for you. Let's go on to Cheryl. She is in Largo, Florida, I believe. Cheryl, we can do this quickly.

Hi, Cheryl. Hi, Dr. Dyer. I'm so glad to get through.

I'm glad you got through. That's why I shortened it up. I said Cheryl's waiting in Largo. Let's hear what she has Say, excellent.

Um, I called a few months ago, I think it was in July. Um, I'm a former drug addict and I was going through some rough times and I was very depressed. Um, I've been studying your teachings for a couple of years now and I took a giant leap of faith and quit my miserable job. And now all of a sudden it's like a million opportunities are just falling into my lap and I just I just want to thank you so much from the bottom of my heart because it really is amazing. It truly is. Miracle after miracle is happening.

Oh, I love calls like this. Let me ask you, first of all, you said you're a former drug addict. How long has it been since you were behaving in those ways?

Um, oh, it's probably been a couple of years. Yeah, it has been a couple of years.

And what was the thing that pushed you over the edge to decide that that wasn't going to be your way of life any longer?

Well, I was miserable living that pattern and I had listened to Power of Intention and that gave me hope and possibilities. And then, like what you're talking about with being in balance and changing your habits, I started changing. Like, instead of always thinking in the negative, I was thinking in the positive.

Do you remember a moment when you said, "Okay, drugs are things that I no longer am going to do," because there had to be a time? Time when you did them and then you stopped doing them. There's like a— I call these quantum moments. Do you remember what that was?

Well, what happened to me is that I, I had a relapse, and the relapse was a result of having 2 surgeries in a row. So immediately I knew I didn't want to be in that pattern, right? So I went and got help immediately.

So the relapse was actually something that was a shifting moment in your life.

Yeah, it made me realize that I have to be more careful and if I do ever have another surgery in the future, I have to let the doctors know that I have an existing problem.

With pain medication and so on? Yes. Well, that's so wonderful to hear that. And I want to know about this miserable job. What is it that you were doing that you knew— not so much what the details were, but what made you make the shift to let go? You call it a miserable job. Like you felt miserable when you went into work each day?

Oh yeah, definitely.

So you're the perfect example of what I want everyone to hear, is that you changed your dreams, but you also changed your habits so that they began to match what it is that you wanted for yourself, which was an addiction-free life and also a life of being able to have things, you know, show up in your life that weren't able to show up before because you're so blocked by all of the negativities. I mean, doing drugs is a negativity that keeps well-being from showing up. Showing up. Being in a miserable job is a negativity that keeps prosperity from showing up. What was the job and how did you quit, before we leave you?

The job was— I was a medical billing specialist and I worked at a computer all day. I didn't feel like I was helping anybody with my job. When I started practicing your ideas of universal love and generosity and positive thinking, I realized that I had to find a way to help other people. So, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I am an artist, but I just wasn't sure how I was going to make a living. But I took the leap of faith, quit my job, and it just so happens that I had started studying the tarot and crystals, and these opportunities just fell in my lap right when I needed them. Right when we were about to lose our electric and lose our home, they just fell in my lap. Truly, miracles have happened to me. That is so wonderful.

And that's exactly why. Because you've aligned yourself with the energy. And when you do, the universe, or whatever you want to call this force, the Tao that allows everything to be, begins to work with you because you're aligned with it rather than fighting it.

That's exactly right. And now what I aspire to do eventually is to help other people who are addicted to drugs drugs, to be able to see how easy and magically it works if you only, like you said, align yourself to those energies. That's so great.

Thank you so much.

I'm going to see you in Orlando. Oh, that's great.

Come up and say hello. Tell me we talked on the radio. I'll be up there in just a few weeks.

I know. I'm excited. Thank you so much, Dr. Dyer. You're welcome. It's just amazing. Thank you.

God bless you. Much love to you.

Alright. Thanks, Cheryl. Well, Dr. Dyer, let's go now. We have Storm in Seattle, Washington. Storm, welcome to our program.

Well, hi there, and I'm just thrilled to have you on the phone, Dr. Dyer. Gosh, our whole family is a big— oh, we're just really— have always needed your support through the years, and even in my mother's passing with cancer this last year, my sister had your book in the hospital and we read it to her, and it was just— I thought— I'm just really happy to be talking to you on behalf of my whole family.

What book did she read to her in the hospital?

Do you remember which one?

It was "The Power of Intention." "The Power of Intention." Yes. Boy, there's something about that book. It's just magically happening in everybody's life. I think so.

In fact, everyone jokes and calls it my sister's Bible. I didn't even know what it was. My mother bought all these copies of this. Just for anyone who needs to read a book that will help them, that sure is it. Sorry about the noise. I have my 1-year-old in the background.

Oh, I love it. I love hearing that sound. It reminds me of all of those wonderful days of hearing those beautiful little voices. It's wonderful. Storm, I love this. How did you get named Storm?

Well, thanks for asking. My parents took the advice of my grandfather and he wanted me to be named Storm. My dad's name is Rock and his brother's name is Rush. Who knows? I don't know why. There's no reason. Anyway, I'm sort of an old mother. See, I'm 45 and I have this 1-year-old now. Oh, good for you. I said, "Well, it's great, but it's busy and all that." Was that a surprise or was that a plan? A very big surprise, yes. Is this the only child you have?

Oh no, my oldest.

The reason I'm calling is about my oldest.

I can handle little ones. Those are easy. Yes, right. Tell me about it. I know. I've got 8 of them.

I know and I love hearing about what your kids are doing there. It's just fun to hear what you're doing with your kids and how you've inspired them or helped them get on with things they're interested in. But here's my problem. I'm a mother. I am— it's easy to take care of this little one right here on the floor in front of me, but my oldest has left today for his second turn in Iraq. He's with the Army and he's a medic, okay? And I'm so proud of him and he's just wonderful and he made it through the last time and there's no reason why he won't this time, of course, you know. But here's what my dream is for my children. I want my children to be healthy and happy, and I always put that on the table as, "This is your job to be the best person you can be," and all that. Okay, but it doesn't matter. I lay in bed worrying about these kids, and especially Daley who's going to Iraq today again for a year and a half. So how do I stop from worrying about my own child like that? I just don't even know what to do.

Well, that's a wonderful question, and I wish I had the answer because I mean, I would be a phony if I told you just don't worry because I have an 18-year-old son, and I was just in the airport in San Diego on my way over here, and I looked at this young boy in a marina, and I started talking to him, and he was on his way to Iraq as well. And I thought, you know, somebody's mother is very fearful and very concerned about that boy. Boy, and, and every one of these, quote, statistics that we read about every day in the newspapers, whether it's on the Iraqi side or whether it's on, uh, you know, the insurgent side, if you will, or the Taliban or the Afghan or the American or whatever it is, there's always a mother back there, uh, and a family that is, that is grieving over our inability to resolve our disputes with anything other than violence. All I can say to you, my dear, is to is to hold him in the highest place within your consciousness, to send him as much love as you possibly can, and to understand that the moment that your son was conceived, his birth was in there. It had nothing to do with him, and it really had nothing to do with you, because all of life is created by the source, by God. And in the moment of his birth, his death was also in there as well, as was yours, as is that little baby in front of you, and as is all of us. And there's no justice, there's no fairness, there's no— none of that in that out there. That some people are going to live for a year and a half, some are going to live 25 years, some are going to live 90 years. And, uh, you know, buried within that, uh, you know, that little tiny drop of human protoplasm that brought him into the world was the time that he is going to be leaving. So you're worrying about it. My teacher in India once said these words to me. He said, it makes no sense to worry about the things you have no control over, because if you have no control them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And then he said, it makes no sense to worry about the things that you do have control over, because if you have control over it, it makes no sense to worry about it. Just take control. So there goes everything that is possible for you to worry about. And if you can just sit back and just know that it's all perfect, it's all of— there's a perfection that is behind our inability to resolve these disputes, uh, in, in loving ways. There's a perfection behind even these kinds of wars. There's a perfection even behind AIDS and behind every accident that none of us can grasp with our egos or with our minds, but in an infinite sense. And if you can go to that infinite place and just put love out there for your son and know that if anything were to happen, if he were to be put into harm's way in any way, that he would still be completely and totally safe in the arms of God. If you know know that, if you just truly have a knowing about it, the worry about it will just dissolve and disappear. And ultimately, perhaps we can figure out a way where mothers don't have to grieve the way they do. Does that make any sense?

Does that help? I will. And yes, and I will replay your answer. We listen to the replay frequently in our home. Dr.

Larry, thank you so much. Yeah, and I think being in balance—

you might want to send the hat, and when he goes, maybe have him send a copy of that to carry with him in his life vest. It might be very much helpful to him as well because it's really about— there's a chapter in there, I think it's the 9th chapter, about creating a world of peace so that we don't have to have these kinds of questions.

Yes, well, that's so true, and being a medic, he always tells his little brother that he doesn't go there to kill people, he's there to help people.

Absolutely. I had a brother who was a medic in Vietnam on 2 tours of duty as well, as well. And, uh, and he survived it and he came out of it and he's, um, you know, he's, he's, uh, he's helping the world to be a better place today.

So, well, that's what we're hoping will be, um, the case for our son. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate all your hard work out there.

Thank you. God bless you. What a beautiful call. Much love to you.

Thanks a lot, Storm. Well, Dr. Dyer, a lot of people call us, I find, wanting to know how can I help my loved one, how 'What can I pray for them?' or 'What can I do to support someone in another situation?' and that was a perfect answer. I think it applied to more than just Storm, to others as well. Well, Dr. Dyer, we have Terry waiting on the line from Portage, Michigan. Terry, welcome to our program. Hello?

Terry, are you with us? Hi, Terry. Hey, hey. How are you? I'm good.

How are you? Wonderful. From Michigan?

Yes. That's my home state. Is it really? Yeah, I am thrilled to be able to talk to you and just thank you and all of you at Hay House, um, for where I've come since I tune in every day. It's just been a change of life for me. Um, I just have a few questions, especially regarding your theme today. And, um, I had the privilege of being with Abraham Hicks last weekend.

Oh, did you? Whereabouts? In Detroit? In Detroit, yeah. Oh my goodness, Esther and Jerry.

Carrier, some two of the best people. It was off. I was 3 feet off the ground the entire day. They're amazing. I actually had the opportunity— I saw my first two auras, and I was— I mean, oh, was— wow.

I just feel like this, uh, sharpening your vision, sharpening. It's the book up there that's, uh, that I just think it's phenomenal. It's called Asking It Is Given. You can get it through Hay House, by the way. I wrote the foreword to it. Yes. Yeah, Abraham asked me to write the foreword, the actual you know, the entities. So when you're 66 years old and dead people ask you to write the foreword, you don't say no, you know. Right. So if dead people are talking to me, I'm gonna get the book.

Definitely, I got— I did get the book. Good. And I'm looking forward to your new book, I— the puppy book.

Oh yes, I love this.

Restoring the Balance. Being in Balance. Yeah, very excited about that. Thank you.

So what is your question?

My question is, there is a, um, I'm I've been getting into just— I've been doing the meditation, back into it. I actually used to do it every day for an hour, younger days. But I'm— and I've been doing it today, about a half hour a day. And I'm, I'm just trying to help everything that I know, just where I'm going, get there. Is— I don't want to— how do I put this? I want to reach my potential. In a pretty basic way. But, um, but I— there's an aura— have you heard of aura balancing and polarity balancing and interfacing? Um, there's, there's some of that going on this weekend through— I believe it's the Course in Miracles folks. And I was wondering if you would recommend one of those, or—

you know what, I would recommend— what is your first name?

It's Terry. Terry. Yes.

Um, I would recommend that if, if it resonates with you, if your heart tells you that it's something that you'd like to inquire of about. See, um, I follow a great teaching by a man named Tilopa who lived in the 10th century. He said, have a mind that's open to everything and attached to nothing, you know. So if you have a mind that's open to it, and if you think that an aura, you know, it's like— first of all, you've just experienced something that you've never experienced before in your life, okay? How old are you? I'm 48. Yeah, so you're 40, and almost a half a century you've, uh, probably even poo-pooed the idea that there is such a thing as an aura, and that if there is one such of things. Certainly you're not somebody who's going to be able to see it, you know, this, uh, this energy field that is around all of us. And all of a sudden you go to an experience, you have it, and you know deep within your heart and deep within your soul that it's real, that you saw it, that you felt it. Now you try to explain that to your mother, and you try to tell that to your neighbors, and they all just think that you're ready for the loony bin, don't they?

But I thought she had the most beautiful, the purplest hair I've ever seen. Yeah, so I just realized that it went out from her head.

I've been there, I've seen I've seen that, I know that experience, I've seen that Kirlian photography where they can actually take photos of it, or that I know that there's much more to this world than just the physical world that we're in. We know that there's an invisible intelligence that is in back of everything that Lao Tzu called the Tao, that I'm writing a book about right now, that all of that is there, we know it. And then when we have any evidence of it, or when it begins to crop up into our lives, immediately we go back to what I call the morning of our life, which is the time when we have doubts. And those doubts become our— as Shakespeare said, they become our traitors, you know. And, um, and, and all I'm saying to you right now is let go of those doubts. Let me go to the knowing that's within you. Check it out for yourself. If, uh, you know, I used to tell people that, you know, uh, they used to tell me that, you know, if you, if you have crystals and you put them on your rear end, they'll help you heal your hemorrhoids. I said, look, if I believe I believe that crystals are going to heal my hemorrhoids, I'm going to get a crystal chair and sit my ass in it all day long. And if I believe it, if I believe it, it's good enough for me, and I have a knowing about it, and then I don't have hemorrhoids anymore, you know, I don't care what the physicians say or what the medical community says or what my mother says or anybody else. You are so right.

You are. I got it.

I got it. That's, that's what I—

that's why I wanted to take this call.

That's why I want to talk I'm talking to you about. Trust. Go within. If you have a knowing about it, and you know the best thing to do about it, Terry, don't tell anybody else about it. You know, because the minute that you start sharing this growing that is happening for you and this, this stuff that's taking place in you, you start introducing the ego. You know, you have to defend it. Yes. Oh, thank you. You have to explain it and you have to defend it, and then all of it, and then you lose it. Because none of this happens through ego. It all happens through spirit.

Right. The other— I saw two. One was the lady sitting by me. The other one was, of course, around Esther. So it was just, uh, yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's—

and once you have these kind of realizations— and you know what, there's a quotation from Rumi. I don't have it exactly, but he said, every tree and branch in the forest were shimmering. Those which average eyes would see as fixed and still. You know, the average-eyed people, they look at it, they look at a tree and they just see a branch and they just see They see the leaves, but to the person who is looking and living at a different level of consciousness, they see everything is dancing, everything is moving. They see the space between the leaves. They see the energy that is underneath in the roots and in the leaves and in the blossoms and in the fruit. They see all of that and they trust in it and have a knowing about it and they live miraculous lives.

I'll tell you, my life has totally changed. All of you at A'House, I can't say enough. Well, it's a great place to be associated with. Totally, I'm just soaring.

We just had Louise Hay's 80th birthday party.

I heard you say that earlier and I've got to wonder what I want.

Oh, there were 400 people there. 80. Yeah, 80 years old. She looks like she's about 25 years younger than that. She's an angel on this planet. I know. And it was just a wonderful, great evening. I was there with my friend Marianne Williamson and we danced the whole night, the entire night. Crazy dance. 66 years old, I was doing this. I was out there doing the twist. Do you remember the twist? Bobby Checkers and all of that. I was the king.

I was having a great time. What an event to celebrate, my goodness.

Yeah, Marianne is one of the great lights on the planet.

I love her enormously. And so are you, and I'm grateful for you and all of your inspiration that you give us all. I was listening to everything you were— the other folks you were talking with, and I'm going, "Oh, that's so wonderful.

Thank you. Thank you." You're so welcome. Thank you for your beautiful call, and check out Being in Balance.

I'm doing a thing that— I can't wait. I can't wait to get I'll get your book.

You know what you gotta do, Terry? You live in what, Portage, Michigan? Where is that? That's up near the Bay Area. It's between Chicago and Detroit County. Okay, western part of the state. Yeah. Uh, if there's any possibility of getting to San Francisco on the 22nd and 23rd— I want to.

Oh, my daughter lives out there.

The morning and afternoon of your life. It's going to be an all-day Saturday and all-day Sunday. I'm telling you, it's going to be a life-changing thing already. It's all— last night Last night I was meditating on this and the information started coming through me, what to talk about there. It's going to be a phenomenal thing and it's going to sell out. I mean, it's, uh, oh, when, when is it? It's, uh, it's coming up the 20th. It's a Saturday and Sunday. It's the 21st or 22nd. I think it's the 21st and 22nd of October in, in San Francisco. It'll be worth it for you to get there and come, I promise you.

I would so, I would absolutely. I'll do what I can to try to do that. Great. I thank you so much.

Thank you, Terry. What a great call. Great to hear from another Michigander. I mean, someone from Michigan Michigan. Excuse me. Right. Thank you so much. Thanks, sweetheart. God bless you.

We've got Heather. She's in Los Angeles, California.

Heather, welcome to our program. Hi, can you hear me?

I can. Hi, how are you, Doctor?

I'm great, thanks. Just Wayne is fine. Okay. Hi, Wayne.

Hi. Well, I guess, um, my question would be, um, I'm a law enforcement officer out here, and, um, you know, you can imagine working those long shifts and trying to balance my personal and professional life. I guess I just maybe want to hear from you what would be the best advice.

When you say balance it, you mean because of the long hours or because of the kinds of things that you're constantly having to deal with? Because police officers deal with a lot of people who are at real low levels of energy and are oftentimes the people committing a lot of crimes and things like that. You sometimes get a sour look on humanity when you deal with that on a regular basis. Definitely.

Well, I want to begin by saying I've been very blessed with having a wonderful family that helps me, I think, you know, somewhat keep in balance and have a very positive attitude. But again, like you said, you know, we still have to deal with the negativity of society and just the workplace in general, even police officers themselves, you know. So I guess, you know, that would lead to many more questions, you know, like one, how can you— I guess I guess, just maybe not carry so much of their weight, you know, and learn to balance it. Right, exactly.

And you can get way out of balance with that by having a desire to live in a real peaceful, loving, beautiful world and then have the habit of constantly running up against the forces that believe in quite the opposite and behave in quite the opposite ways. The best thing that I can advise to you, doing the kind of work that you're doing, is one of two things. One, if you've decided that this is what you want to do and you believe that it's important work, and certainly we need, you know, we need lots and lots of good, well-trained, highly competent, skilled, loving, good people in the world of law enforcement. If you've decided that that's what you want to do, then bring as much kindness as you possibly can to it, particularly to the people who are operating at these much lower levels. So, you know, I can tell you from my own family, I have 8 children, and I have one of my children who has merged themselves into that world, a world of that world of forging things, that world of writing bad checks and so on. And it's like, this is a person who is, this is my child. This is someone that I just love with all my heart. And yet she finds herself in and out of difficulties all of the time. And what she needs more than anything in this world is people who believe in her and who care about her and are willing to forgive her and are willing to help her. Willing to send love to her when she finds herself slipping. And as I find myself loving her through this, and she will occasionally— and she just did that not too long ago, ran into somebody in the, in the law enforcement community who took an interest in her, who cared about her, who loved her, who showed her her kindness. And that experience made her make a decision that she was going to really go to work on her addictions to these painkillers and things like that, that have and her concern. It was just one person who, in a uniform, working in a courthouse, I mean, who just, who just took it upon themselves to extend that love and were able to turn that person around. This is, this is needed in all facets of our criminal justice system, all of it. I agree. From the very worst offenders to the just people who are speeding, to, you know, people who are, you know, jaywalking, to people who are assaulting others. Everything out there, it's a cry for love. It's a cry to be back closer to of God. And I— if you can do that and remind yourself of that and just extend a little kindness where, where brutality or anger or hatred or just, just being fed up just seems to take over, if you can do that, you're doing God's work. If you can't, if you really and truly can't, then you should do something else. You know, you really should do something else.

Well, no, I mean, um, I know that I'm doing what I do, you know, for, for that, just that reason. Yeah. I struggled for a long time saying, why am I doing this? This is like so not me. I mean, I'm putting on like this— I call my uniform a costume, you know? Right, it is a costume. But then I realized that God wants me here. This is my calling. Will I be doing it forever? No. But right now, this is what I need to do.

So do it 100% with love as much as you possibly can.

Being caring, right, with patience and compassion.

And you know what? You know what? Because people, you know, people have a fear of police officers in this country. I mean, there's a lot of them that have learned because they wear this costume and because they wear weapons and because, you know, that they're sort of frightening kinds of figures, you know, because we think of, you know, we think of Gestapo, we think, you know, with these kinds of, you know, uniforms and marching and shine boots and all of that kind of thing. Right, enforcers. Yeah, and then when we see one, somebody who just reaches out and extends themselves or comes over and helps a little kid you know, find their baseball bat or whatever it might be. You know, very often everybody looks around and they're surprised. And I think, surprised? These ought to be the people who are extending the greatest amount of kindness and helping our society to be a better society, rather than just people who are looking for lawbreakers and, you know, and turning them in and filling out reports. Right. That's what I would say to you, my dear.

Well, I love your advice. Thanks. Yeah, so I just want to say thank you and God bless you.

Thank you, sweetheart. God bless you too. I really— I look forward to meeting you in person.

I hope so too. Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for your beautiful call. Thanks.

Oh, thanks so much, Heather. That was an interesting call, especially with your line of work. Yes. All right, Dr. Dara, we have Francis, and she is from Louisiana, I believe.

Francis, welcome to our program. Hello. Hi, Francis. Well, I'm just astounded that I have you on the other end of the phone.

Well, I'm here to talk to you. How are you? Well, are you still there? Is Louisiana still there?

Well, Louisiana is still here. We had the opening of the Superdome.

I know you did, and you guys won a big game. I watched that game. What a thrill that was. Although you lost one yesterday, but, uh, okay.

And actually, the Friday before the hurricane, my husband were at the Superdome. We're entertainers, and we were performing in the Superdome, and But we had to evacuate the next day.

So that has been such— we'll never forget that hurricane. Yes, I know.

You know, you have to be careful not to make it a defining moment in your life. Well, it's, uh, you know, a lot of people will do that with, you know, with really huge traumatic events before and after. You know, a lot— they do it with divorces and things like that. I mean, you know what, that, that hurricane, I remind— because I have a home in Florida, so there were 4 hurricanes. Crossed our state that same year and knocked out all of the trees and knocked out this and fences were blown apart. I've seen those things, been in the midst of them, and they certainly are terrifying, but they bring out so much goodness in humanity. I mean, so many people, and all of our focus, it seems to me, on the whole Katrina story particularly has been on what was wrong and what the government didn't do right and blaming blaming the president and blaming this and that. You know what I mean? We forget that this storm was like 160 miles an hour, and it was like— it cut across a 1,000-mile swath. You know, it's like, I mean, how does anybody know what to do when something as huge and horrific and out of control as that, you know, slams into our homes and into our shores and our schools and our hospitals and our Superdomes and so on? None of us are prepared for that kind of thing. And, you know, I think our humanity— did you see acts of humanity and acts of goodness?

Oh, so, so, so, so much.

So, so much that it, it was overwhelming.

Just really overwhelming.

And it is almost more overwhelming than the storm, isn't it? That what, what people will do to save innocent people that they don't even know. There are white people who talk trash against black people, and then something like this happens and they're in there saving their You know, it's just people's resiliency to rebuild.

And it's what it did for me.

Now, I have been a student of science of mind for 30 years, but actually Louise Hay was the very first, I suppose, New Thought book that you would call it, that I read.

And that can heal your life.

That's one of the great healers of all time. Yes. And it was in the early— my ministry sister too.

And yes, and it was in the early '80s, and it was from her that I went to Science of Mind.

Uh, actually, Abraham did come to Baton Rouge, Louisiana about 7 years ago, and I went, and there were so few people. It was wonderful because everybody got to ask questions.

Yeah, hardly anybody knew.

They're wonderful. And they never came— but they never came back, but that's okay.

But I have to tell you, I went to Baton Rouge and never came back either. And hey, you two, I have to interrupt Our show is ending. Is the show over?

That's it. Thanks, Dr. Dyer. Thanks so much, Francis.

Oh, well, God, it was great talking to you. You too. Thank you, Francis. Bye, God.

Bye, sweetheart. All right, Dr. Dyer, again next week we'll see ya. Thank you very much. I'm Summer McStravick, show's producer.

It's been a great show. Good night, everyone. Good day.

We have Dr. Wayne Dyer with us. We're talking about balancing our, our lives together. So would you like to just get started?

Sure, I would. Yeah, last week we talked about the first principle, which was, uh, you know, an infinity of forests lies dormant within the dreams of one acorn. And it was the whole idea is that, uh, we're very much out of balance between our dreams, what it is that we would like to attract into our lives, and our habits, what we offer up to that. And usually they're way out of balance. And this, this principle here, I call it, I call it in the book, uh, there's 9 principles in this book. I call this one, you can't kiss your own ear. And people ask me, what does that mean? I said, well, in order to get your ear kissed kissed, uh, somebody else obviously has to do it. Otherwise, your ear is going to go through a whole lifetime without being kissed. It has to come from outside of you, from someplace else. And this is really finding a way to balance within yourself and within your life how you see yourself with what you really are projecting to the world. The big danger in this is that people have a tendency to think that you're just looking for approval. You're making other people's opinions of you the most important thing in the world. And so, and I've taught so much in so many places, uh, from erroneous zones right up until now, over 30 years, that you don't want to be running your life based upon what other people think of you. And the important distinction here is the difference between wanting approval and wanting to have other people's opinions and getting feedback that can be valuable to you, and needing it, needing the approval of others, which means that I collapse or I become I don't receive, you know, good and favorable things from other people. So I just dismiss all of that, push all of that out. And it's not about either one of these. This is really about what are you projecting out there into the world. And very often we're way, way out of balance. We have a tendency to say to other people, or some sense, what kind of a person are you? You'd say, well, I'm a loving human being. But you're not a loving human being if you are behaving in non-loving ways towards a lot of people out there, particularly people, uh, that, um, you know, are there to serve you and so on. I mean, you're not a kind person, for example, if you're kind to your family and nice to your parents and, and things like that, but you're out there yelling at the waiter and screaming at people when they're in traffic and honking the horns at little old ladies who, uh, who are terrified and, uh, and are driving too slow in front of you and, and so on. So you may have a vision of yourself as being this kind, wonderful person, but what you're projecting out there in many, many places is someone who is not kind, who is not very loving. You may think of yourself, for example, as a joyful person, but you may be hearing people telling you a lot, you know, lighten up, stop taking life so seriously, you're always so upset, you lose your temper so quickly, and so on. And you may go— be going around internally with a vision of yourself as this perfectly calm person, when in fact other people are constantly telling you that you're full of stress and that you're causing anxiety and you're hard to be around and so on. So the idea behind this one is to take a look at what it is that you are out there projecting into the world and then to seek out that feedback and to use it in a helpful way. I can give you two examples of this in my own life. Life-changing things. There was a time when we had had 5 children in 8 years and we had had 3 in about 3 and a half years. And so our house was, uh, obviously there was a lot of chaos. There were a lot of babies. Every time I would come home from my writing, I'd have to stop at the drugstore and I'd have to pick up 3 different kinds of diapers. I'd have to pick up large, extra large, and small, or whatever it was. And I just knew, I remember, I'd get purple, I'd get red, I'd get blue. And, uh, you know, that was how I handled all of that. So while I would be bringing these diapers, uh, home and all this, The house was in chaos, so we decided at that time to go out and get ourselves someone to help at the house to cook for us. So we had a cook there. And this guy, you know, his name was Mark, and he would come in there and he was a chef and he would have all— and I started eating these meals that he was making. They were filled with— the house smelled with butter and garlic and all of this kind of stuff. And I would eat— I started eating a lot of that food. And one day, after about a month of doing this every day, coming home and having having this wonderful treat of having somebody cook for me, he looked at me and he said, "You're getting a little fat there, don't you think?" And no one had ever said that to me before. And I had actually in the process put on 10 or 15 pounds over a period of a month just from eating these kinds of food and not exercising as much as I should or so on. And I remember his feedback coming to me and I thought to myself, "Now who does this guy think he is? He works for me. He has no right to tell me that." And I remember the next day I decided to really start watching what I eat. I started eating less of it. I started being more conscious about it. And so on. And it was like it was the last time that anyone has ever said that to me, because it was a turning point in my life. It was another person's opinion being willing to say something to me. That was one. The other was when I was teaching at the university in Detroit, at Wayne State University, right after I got my doctorate. It was 1971. I was 31 years old. I had my very first class, and one of the things that everybody in the class had to do was make a presentation to the class on these various groups. And this group got up there and they started doing this presentation, and I noticed that there were a lot of snickers going on around in the room and so on. And then people would look at me, and then they'd look at them, and they would laugh, and they didn't know whether to laugh or not. They looked embarrassed. And all of a sudden it hit me that they were doing an impression of me. They were impersonating me. And what they were showing was a person who was a little bit dogmatic, who was fairly loud, who had this little gut, uh, you know, sticking out over his stomach. And, and they were, you know, doing all of this stuff in a good-natured kind of way. And I remembered how it impacted me. It was like, if I come across that way so that they can emulate me. And I was a little bit too loud perhaps, a little bit too dogmatic and so on, that it was really a life-changing kind of thing for me. So other people's opinions and what you're projecting to the world, you want to be able to be in balance in the sense that how you would like to project yourself to the world is in fact what the world is thinking about what you are projecting. And if it's not, if you call yourself kind but you're nasty to the waiter. If you call yourself stress-free and yet you're jumping up and down at other people, if you're losing your temper quickly and think of yourself as a calm, in-charge person and you're getting that kind of feedback and information out there, it's good to get yourself back into balance and to be projecting exactly what it is that you would like other people to see you as.

Making your feelings about yourself match what other people are perceiving about you.

Well, yeah, not even so much always matching, but at least not fooling yourself into telling yourself that you're one kind of a person, that you behave behave in a certain kind of way when in fact the opposite. That's another thing is even about if you ask most people, are you truthful person, for example, most people would say, why, of course I'm truthful. But then you find themselves, uh, you know, skirting the truth in a lot of ways. You project yourself as something that you don't really want to be projecting yourself as. And in fact, the fact is that it isn't so much other people are seeing you, is that you're not seeing yourself in an authentic way.

I see. Well, Dr. Dyer, what do you say we go right to our caller Lisa in St. George, Utah? Lisa, welcome to program. Hi, you're live on air, Lisa. Oh great.

Hey, oh, I'm so excited to be on the phone.

Thank you, me too. Have you ever been to St.

George, Utah? I have never been to St—

I don't know, maybe. Where is St.

George? It's like 45 minutes from Zion National Park. Oh, because I thought St.

George was in the White House, but I mean, I think that's the way he thinks anyway. Sorry about that, I had— I couldn't resist.

It's beautiful here. I know it is. If you ever chance to come, you should. It's red rock and gorgeous.

It is beautiful. I've been— I spent a lot of time in Utah. I've spoken at two universities there. It's a beautiful state.

Well, I want you to know that I've been following just recently all the things that you— all the books you've written. I just— this last summer in June, I had a life-changing experience, kind of what you talked about in one of your books about forgiveness. Uh-huh. And my own life. Right after that happened, I found your book, "10 Steps to Inner Peace and Success," and read it. Then after that, "The Power of Intention," read that. After that, "Inspiration: The Ultimate Calling." Then I got "Getting in the Gap," and I just finished "Being in Balance." What did you think?

Because that was a book that just sort of channeled itself through me. I was really, really deeply touched as it wrote itself through me.

"Being in Balance?" Yes. I loved it. The one thing I will tell you since I started doing these, reading your books, and with each book I've kept 3x5 cards with me that I've written your affirmations on. Right. And some just little things in the book that just got my attention. I probably look at those every day. I have a whole stack of them.

I do the very same thing. I don't just do it necessarily with my work, but I do it— I start out every single day. There's a book out there about the Tao. I'm writing a book on the Tao right now.

Wait until you finish that one. I know. I'm on number 71.

Right now. In fact, number 71— number 71 is something I was talking about with my daughter this morning who's been really struggling with some addictions and so on. And it says that you'll never get well until you get sick of being sick. And it's a great— sages know that and they never get sick because they're sick of being sick. And I, I've been thinking and contemplating that whole concept. And even what you said about forgiveness, it's like you get sick of being angry, don't you? You just—

yeah, well, I ended up taking everything that that happened to me in my life that I felt like, oh, this happened to me, and made it like, oh, I'm so— that I got to experience that.

Yes, you created it.

Yes, I created it, and look at where I am now.

And what—

who did you have to forgive?

What did you do? Everyone. I— when I was a small child, my parents— I grew up in Los Angeles, California, born and raised. Uh-huh. My— both my parents have their PhD, and they're very, you know, they worked, but we were raised Mormons. Well, my mom was very trusting, and so I was taken to a babysitter's house that, needless to say, I was taken advantage of, right, as a young girl. Yes, 5, 4, 5, 6. And so we moved from that house, and I am being raised, of course, in a religious home where you just don't talk about those things. None of those things come up. It was I always carried this with me, like this shame and this guilt, and it was like my fault or nobody protected me. And I attracted that throughout my whole—

you attracted more of the shame, more of the things that you put your attention on, because you get what you think about, you know, right?

Whether you want it or not. Yeah.

And again, I had this experience of forgiveness before I even read your books this summer, but I was ready. I guess it was just— I was ready. Well, did you—

let me just break in a minute. Did you see what happened in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with the Amish people? Yes. And the, you know, where they lined— where that, that man lined up the, the, the girls and, and shot 5 of them and so on. And somehow, I mean, when we looked at these people and they said, we practice living as Christians, this is our whole philosophy. If we can't forgive the people who harm us, then, uh, all of the things that we talk about and all the things that we live are not authentic, right? Well, they somehow got it right, didn't they? They somehow got these peaceful, loving people. They got it right.

They did. And that's what has, I mean, literally transformed the last 4 months of my life, was that forgiveness. It is.

It did. It totally, completely changed my life. Anybody else?

And not only that, but then I married someone that was a sex addict, and so I got more— it was like, I, I know I did I used that to get past and to forgive again. All of these things have taught me, and I love this man. Even to this day, we have 4 beautiful kids together. We're best friends now.

So it's really an act of the heart, isn't it? It's not really necessarily that you have to go send him flowers or anything. It's an act of the heart. No, it's loving.

I don't love everything he does, but I love him, the spirit.

You probably don't love everything you do either, but you still have to love yourself.

But I— well, and ever since— let me go on. So I got Getting in the Gap, and I do that, and that meditation is just what I needed. I mean, when I first started, I was going, this is really hard. You know, anything— I'm a dancer, I do a lot of creative things, and always at first it's difficult. And I want to really say that to everyone listening, because you just keep doing it. Now I go out and I do it on my own without listening to your voice.

Yeah, that's the meditation you're speaking about. It's a CD in the back of Getting in the Gap, or— yeah, and any of I love it. It's a very— it was taught to me by a great teacher who learned it from, uh, the, uh, the people who wrote it back 2,500 years ago, back in, uh, in India.

And all of these things you say resonate, have made— actually have made sense to me all along. Like, when I was a little girl, I remember waking up at night, seeing energy in my room really quickly moving and being afraid. Being afraid. I mean, just everything, even the I was raised in a home that really was, you can't think that way. No, no, no, we're not allowed to see, we're not allowed to have any spiritual guidance other than the prophet. You know, none of those things were— it never felt true to me. But everything you've said feels true to me. And I will tell you that since I started doing those manifestations, or getting in the gap, anything I've wanted to do has come up.

Oh, that's so wonderful.

Ah, that's such a confirming, uh, it's a great—

it's a great— I, like I said, I'm a I teach dance. I'm an instructor. I've been wanting to go, you know, just everything I love to do, I get to do. I wanted to go to Jamaica. Lisa, we're going to have to interrupt.

Yeah, we have to go.

Well, thank you so much for your call, Lisa. God bless you. What a great call. I really appreciate your confirmation. Well, Dr.

Dyer, I think we have many calls to attend to, so let us get on with Rose in Lexington, Kentucky. Rose, welcome to our program today.

Hello. Thank you so much for taking the call.

Hi, Rose. How are you?

I'm just Great. Your discussion just a few minutes ago just made me call because I'm an instructor. I teach horseback riding lessons, and I had an insight where I was taking a new adult around to view the lessons to decide whether or not he wanted to come and ride with us. Right. And at the end of the lesson, at the end of the lesson, I went ahead and it was introducing them time to the different students, and he expressed his concern about whether or not there would be— he wanted sufficient feedback to improve his skills, etc. And the student that was there said, "Oh yeah, she'll give you lots of feedback." And I'm like, whoa. Now she said it in a, you know, in a laughing fun way, but there were— behind there, there was some insight, and I'm saying like, well, I would never I never think of myself in that way. Right.

She was saying that you maybe come across a little pushy or— Right. Too strong. A little too strong or too excessive or whatever.

So now that insight is very important because of course I'm in a place where I want to improve and grow my business. And also I want to make life— my whole concept of riding is that horses give us life lessons.

It's not teaching riding. My daughter Summer is a horse instructor. This has been her life. And it's very interesting what you're speaking about there though, because there's really this sort of fine line between not wanting to run your life based upon what other people think of you. Certainly there's a wonderful book titled "What You Think of Me Is None of My Business." So you don't want to go around just saying, well, and then you become a people pleaser and you're trying to please this audience and that audience. It's one of the problems that we have with the authenticity of politics. Politicians, because before one group they'll say one thing, and before another group they say something else. They go to another part of the country, they say something else, always trying to be out there pleasing everyone else. So there's that extreme, but then there's the other extreme of people who go through life and behave in certain ways, and they think they're one thing and they're coming across a very different way. And you want to have that feedback. I think the real crucial thing in all of this is to be, uh, is to not let yourself become immobilized, Regardless, like if you got some very harsh criticism, and it's funny, was that a young child that said that to you? No, it was another adult. It was another adult.

Yeah, and she said it in a nice way.

I mean, but there was also a hidden message in there to you. Yeah. Yeah. So that whatever it is that you are receiving in the way of feedback, you don't become immobilized by it. You just take it, you note it, and you say, you know what, if that's the way I am, you know, I want to be a little bit more cautious. If you're a person who who needs to be in front of an audience. Actors and actresses often come to me and talk about, "You know, it's easy for you to say to be independent of the opinion of others, but my whole livelihood depends upon whether the people out there like what I'm doing. And if they don't, I need to know that." And I think keeping that perspective is what we're talking about here. Okay. Well, I think that— Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It's really nice.

On the activity side, I do feel that it is insightful. Delightful. And so the action step I'm going to take is to go get your book, In Balance, and read through it and pick up those pieces that are— that maybe are not in balance. No, that's great. And take, you know, put it in perspective. But I sure do thank you for your help, and I'm going to be looking forward to your coming to our neck of the woods.

I'll get out there. Lexington, Kentucky. It's, uh, that's— isn't that right across from Cincinnati? Is that— yeah, yeah. I've been at your airport many times.

We go to Cincinnati often for the different Hay House speakers. Yeah, well, great.

Well, God bless you. Thank you for your wonderful call. I appreciate it.

Namaste. Thanks a lot, Rose, for your call. All right, Dr. Dyer, we're going to go now to Clayton in Orlando, Florida. I wonder if he's going to be at the conference at the end of the month. Clayton, welcome to the program. Hi, thank you so much.

Hi, Dr. Dyer. Hi, Clayton. How are you, my friend? I am great. I'm great. Well, finally in Orlando with the, the weather subsiding now. It's actually enjoyable down here. It's beautiful there from what everyone tells me right now. But the swamp-like conditions that we usually endure here. Yes, enjoy the swamps, enjoy them. I know, it's exciting, and the smell is just wonderful. I'm sure you've experienced it. I have. My question for you is, I read hundreds of spiritual texts over my life and came to Bikram Yoga at an early part in my life, and I work in television and I co-host a nationally syndicated television show across the country on the morning. The space that I'm at now, it's a place that's really filled with negativity. And, you know, it becomes like a fishbowl environment where I sort of tie my self-esteem to that place. And whether or not I'm good enough or whether or not I've succeeded in such a way and whether or not I can get to that next spot. And they've begun to basically explain that I am not going to be part of their program anymore and that I'm going to move to a different spot or I'm going to stay there while they bring these other people in to sort of try out for, you know, for this particular job and this. And yet I've tied my self-esteem to this place for so long and I want to take it to the next level where I become a network anchor and move to the next level and move to a higher level, but I still have that self-doubt, that one little nugget of self-doubt. And I wanted to get your perspective perspective on, you know, with all of the affirmations and with all the meditations and all of the understanding that, you know, this network job is on its way and I know it's coming, right? But then it sneaks in that back door, and I think for whatever reason, I think that's what everyone always worries about, that one little nugget. Well, the network job and how it plays out and whether it shows up there or in Lexington, Kentucky, where the lady just talked to you, or whatever it might be, is, uh, outside of your control. And it, it's because those are just the details, and the details of how things work are not really in our hands. First of all, I would suggest that you be in a total complete state of gratitude for all of this, uh, kind of stuff that— this feedback that's coming at you that you may not— you may or may not be included, you know, which is bringing all of this doubt to the surface, so that you can deal with this stuff and then just put it to bed, uh, completely. In other words, you want to create for yourself an inner environment that is so filled with peace. I was introducing Louise Hay at her 80th birthday party. I was giving a tribute to her at her party last weekend, and I quoted Herman Melville. And he said— he was writing Moby Dick— he said, 'For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all of the The horrors of the half-lived life. And I quoted that and said that Louise Hay was one of the people who brought an insular Tahiti to all of us with her monumental works and creating her publishing house and so on, which I'm so proud to be a part of. And I'd like you to know that you have to be able to go, Clayton, to that inner place within yourself, to that insular Tahiti that is filled with peace and joy, totally knowing that this is, uh, it's absolutely perfect for you, projecting yourself out there in this loving and peaceful away, being independent of the opinions of everybody else out there who thinks you should or shouldn't be doing it a certain way, being totally completely at peace. You do yoga, I would recommend that you read the Tao a little bit each day. Read the Tao Te Ching. Find out how important it is to be a non-interferer, to be totally at peace, to get more by doing less, to be free from trying to control things outside of yourself that are all on unfolding perfectly, just to be in that peaceful place and then to be grateful for everything that comes along, whether it's a network job or whatever it is. Because if you have that inner peace, that insular Tahiti, that place of joy within your heart, it won't make any difference to you whether you're on a network or whether you're not. Because the network thing is really about ego. It's just about more people watching you and all of that. And if you can just free yourself from that external kind of thing and just allow allow yourself to be the greatness that you came here to be, it will all unfold perfectly. That's my advice. I don't know if that helps or not. No, that's wonderful. Thank you. God bless you.

All right. We've got Melina, and this is an update call. Sometimes I like to check back, give a call or a couple of minutes because I like to get updated on what the advice is you've given and how it's playing out in their lives. Melina from Sherman Oaks, California, can you give us a brief update of how things are going for you.

Sure. Hi, Melina. How are you doing?

Good, good. Okay, I asked you a question, um, at the Pasadena event with Byron Katie about, you know, advice on, on how to show my son that the violent video games he likes, you know, what to do. So you told me to go ahead and do the muscle testing.

Yeah, do the, uh, yeah, right. So just for everyone's edification out there, it's, uh, that energy is in everything. And if you're doing something, if you're watching something violent, or if you're listening to violent music or whatever, and you muscle test it— that is, you hold that in your hand and test yourself— that it will actually show you whether you're strengthened or weakened by it. And violence almost always shows that it weakens us. Go ahead, what happened?

Okay, I came home that evening, I told my children, you know, I talked about you to Dr. Dyer, and I told my son, you know, what I talked about. So he said, okay, let's do it. He looks around, and I just showed him them Unstoppable Me, your new children's book that I brought home for them. He said, let's use this as the good, as the positive thing. And we tested one of his video games, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and they each did it. And we did it back and forth time and time again. With Unstoppable Me held up against their heart, they were strong. I wasn't able to push their arm down. With the violent video games, they went weak. So I didn't know how he would process that or if he would care or whatever, but with Within, I mean, seconds, he said, "All right, okay, I'm going to get my video games together." He went, he took out all his video games, he went through which ones were violent, which ones were not. He sorted them into two piles and said, "Okay, these are going to go." My 10-year-old son, and I was so proud of him. I really didn't know if he would— there's one game though, the Star Wars game that he didn't want to give up yet, so he's still holding on to that. And he actually was trying to tell my 6-year-old daughter, who had— she had kind of grown attached to this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He said, Jasmine, Jasmine, it's weakening us and it's time to let it go.

Wow. Oh my goodness, I love this call. Thank you, Summer, for taking this. Sure. Phenomenal. Because I mean, it's like— and people don't understand because I, I was telling the story of how my son was listening to a CD that had violence and profanity in it, and I had him bring it over. And I first told him, I told him to hold bananas, these organic bananas, next to his heart. And he would hold his arm out and the muscle test. You can read about all of this in a book called Power Versus Force. You can get it through Hay House, by the way. It explains how to do all of that.

By Dr. David Hawkins.

David Hawkins, right. So I would bring him over, my strong— he was, uh, 16 or 17 at the time, big, strong, strapping, 6-foot-1 kid. And, um, when I put the bananas on there, I couldn't budge his arm. But then when he held the CD in his hand, just the actual CD in his hand, he went weak. His arm went right down. And a lot of people find that difficult to grasp, but energy is in everything. And kinesiology teaches us how to go about doing that. But to have your 10-year-old son have that kind of an impact and insight— so you could have lectured at him 1,000 times, Melina, and it never would have reached him. But for him to experience that, yeah, right.

It was beautiful. And I, I just, you know, thank you for that.

That is so, so wonderful. That's a good lesson for everybody out there. Anything— and it's again a part of— in, uh, when I talk about in being in balance and that third, uh, you can't kiss you, yeah, you can't kiss your own ear. One of the things I talk about is that if you think of yourself as a loving person but you are constantly immersing yourself in violent movies and chase scenes and things that have guns and lots of killing and so on, that's the opposite of love. And it's like you really want to take a look at whether or not you are using, uh, this as an excuse for, uh, you know, having things come into your, uh, into your heart and into your life that are not loving at all. So you may not be nearly as loving as you, as you think you are. Even when you read the newspaper, like this morning I saw a headline in the paper that talked about the Americans had killed 30, what they called insurgents, along with the Iraqis. And I thought, oh my goodness, 30 dead people, all of whom are just believing in what they believe in. You know, it's like you can't be a loving person. And in the Tao, it says that all battles, no matter whether you are on the right side or the wrong side, all of them should be treated as a funeral, that there's nothing to celebrate when people end up end up doing something violent to each other. Thank you, darling, for that wonderful call. I really love it. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Melina. That was wonderful. So many times, uh, parents do call in wanting to know advice for kids. That was a great one. I think everyone can apply that.

I tell people all the time, if you've got kids who are doing video games, just do that with them. Do the, do the muscle testing with them and let them see for their own eyes. And boy, what a perfect example of that. I'm glad we have that on the radio so people can listen All right, we've got time for one more caller.

We've got Dana from Bronx, New York. Dana, welcome to our program today. Hi, Dr.

Dyer, good evening. How are you?

Hi, Dana, how are things in the Bronx? Are you at the zoo?

Not too far from the zoo. I'm actually more closer to Manhattan, actually, but weather is fine here in the Big Apple. Oh, good. All is well. I know you're wrapping up on this show, so I'll make this brief. For most of my adult life, I've been working in the corporate sector corporate environment, but I really want to transition into my own home business. But I'm scared to death knowing that I may have to sacrifice a salary, at least if I go into my own business, and benefits. And I really want to make the transition, but there's something really preventing me from moving forward, you know, aside from the fear.

And I was wondering if there are any words of wisdom you can share with me.

What is the business you want to start in your own home?

Um, it's like more of a holistic practice in which I do some massage therapy.

Yeah, see, I, I just sensed it in you.

Uh, what is your first name? Dana.

Dana, I sensed that the minute that you started talking, I said, this is the person who has love to give away. There's something in your voice, there's an aura in you. And I'm not psychic, I don't do readings like Sylvia and all that, but I just, I felt very deeply and profoundly that you have an enormous amount of just loving kindness to give away. Even the way you just talked about the Bronx and where you are and so on, that should be enough information for you to have to know that you're on the right path and, and that it will work. And that the biggest fear that you have is that you won't have the salary. But look beyond that and ask yourself, what is it that I'm really afraid? Is it, am I afraid I'm not going to be able to feed myself or to pay my rent? And, and then take a look at— how old are you?

I'll be 39 next week.

So in 39 years, have you ever had any time in your adult life when you haven't been able to feed yourself or take care of and be responsible for yourself. And the answer to that, I'm already sure, is that you've already been— always been able to handle it. So there's no reason for you to look back, uh, with anything other than total confidence that you'll be able to continue doing that, uh, whether or not a salary is coming or, uh, whether it's coming from your own business. But you have a great love to give away. That's what you have to give away.

You have— oh my goodness, I, I thank you for that, um, Dr.

Dyer. In actuality— okay, well, definitely, where you Where are you originally from?

New York City.

From New York City? New York City, born and raised. There's something in you that— do you feel that as well? Do you feel what I'm describing here? Do you feel like there's something that's inside of you that has to escape, wants to escape, wants to serve, but you're holding it back?

For ages. For ages. Especially over the past 2 years, in a sense, wanting this to grow, wanting my abilities to grow, to shed some light on it. To accentuate what I have and be able to share that with other people. I can't do it in a stuffy corporate environment.

I've got to go out. I know. I was driving down the Long Island Expressway. You've probably heard about it. I was living out in Huntington, New York, and I was teaching at St. John's University. I had a position. I was the star there. It was 1971. Up until 1975. I got promoted. I had tenure, which is like a guaranteed job for the rest of my life, a guaranteed paycheck for the rest of my life. And something happened to me on the Long Island Expressway, and I drove in and I went into the dean's office. Her name was Sarah Fassenmayer, and I told her I had to resign. I was writing Your Erroneous Zones and that I was going to go out and I was going to be on my own. I was going to have to earn my own paycheck. I was going to have to figure out how to get my my healthcare insurance covered. And, oh my gosh, and I was scared. But you know what? I made more money in the first year than I had made the previous 30 years of my life.

That gives me something to go by.

Thank you so much.

Thanks, Dana, for your call. Gotta let you go. Welcome, Dr. Dyer. You're joining us again from Florida today, and hopefully it's a lot nicer there than it is here in Southern California. We're getting a ton of rain today, which we actually really need. Oh my goodness, we are.

I always say in Maui, no rain, no rainbows. We're always very grateful for the rain. I always think of rain as one of the great miracles of all. It's like every time it happens, people complain, but without it, none of us could even stay alive for a day. So it's always an amazing gift that all of a sudden, just everything, this mana from heaven just showers down on us from the skies and says, here's what you need to sustain yourself. Here's what you're made of. Here's what your earth is made of. Of. This will grow all your food. This will take care of all your thirst. This will take care of everything. And I love the rain. I love to be in it and walk around it.

And we've got some great callers coming in. I'm noticing a lot of people from Canada today, several Canadian callers, Ontario, Quebec. So let's start with that.

Would you like to go to Montreal? I'd love to.

Let's check it out. Roxandra on line 1, welcome to the show. You're on with Dr.

Wayne Dyer today. Thank you. I can't believe it.

I'm the first You are.

How are you? So today it worked out well.

How am I? I wish I knew how to answer this question, but I could say it could be better, but I'm okay. Uh-huh. Well, that's good. I wish I knew a bit more because I'm kind of stuck in a rut work-wise. I mean, not only work-wise, but the work aspect is one of the, the one that bothers me most because I don't know what to do. What to do with my life and find my life purpose. So I have been back to school for almost 9 years now and I'm in the middle of a PhD that I don't know if I would finish. So that's a big—

That's not an unusual place for people in PhD programs. You get to a point where you ask yourself, what am I doing and what am I putting myself through this for?

Right, but it's like Context-wise, my supervisor died last year. From the beginning, I thought I didn't belong there. Initially, I was rejected. I had to reapply. And although the topic, it's really interesting because I thought it's— I took it more like a mission. I said, I know I don't want to work in academia for sure. Why am I going through this one? It's very difficult too. So anyway, that's why I'm like, I don't want to do it unless I'm able to stay I don't, I'm not going to regret it. I don't regret what I've done so far, but this year I'm really kind of, I don't know, maybe I needed to grieve because I had a few losses several years, like up to 2 or 3, and maybe I was, and I'm very, very tired. So I did kind of, it's in between, like kind of a transition, but I'm not a step further to figure out what's next for me. I have some areas. But I don't know how to package myself and how really to trust that I can do something.

Well, you really do know how because no one can teach it to you, especially now. How old are you? 49 last week. Yeah, so you're almost half a century, 50 times around the sun. You pretty much know how to do it, Roxanne. The fact is that you've just been trained with a bunch of memes to believe that things have to be a certain way and that you have to do things the way that you programmed yourself to do them or someone else programmed you to do them. You get into a program and then you start asking questions about, is this where I belong? Should I be doing this? I don't know. And the fact is, all of it is just not even worth the agony that you put yourself through.

Yeah, probably not.

It really isn't. The truth is that all you get is today. We all know that. You get the present moment. You get the now. If you can learn how to live fully and completely and totally in the present moment and just be, be there in this moment, realizing that the now is all you ever get, you know, and that the future thing that you're all worried about is nothing more than just a now. And everything that's ever happened to you in the past, it didn't really happen to you in the past, it happened to you in the present moment. So that your relationship to life, and this is what I would say to everybody listening today, your relationship to life is really nothing more than your relationship to the present moment, how well you're able to live in it. And if you can find a way to go within, to get peaceful, to meditate, to get quiet. And that's why I always say that the best way to handle all of these kinds of questions that we have for ourselves is to get our attention off of ourselves, off of our ego, off of what's in it for me, and off what I should be doing, and me, me, me, all of the I, I, I stuff, and just turn it around and begin to serve more. It's what I do all the time when I feel myself struggling, when I don't know quite what to do, even in relationships or with my work work or whatever, is I just stop and I go through my mail and I pick out some letters from people who really are struggling and really are having a difficult time and I reach out to them. And every time that I find myself letting go of thinking about myself and putting my attention on someone else, almost always I start to feel better, the answers become clearer, and I don't get myself so worked up and into a dither over what I should be doing or what I shouldn't be doing. I used to always quote from my friend Artie Pine, who was my agent many, many years ago. He passed away a few years back, and he used to say, I'm an old man and I've had many troubles, most of which have never happened.

Almost all of them. Yeah, I'm a good worrier, unfortunately. It's a learned, I know, a part of it is a lot learned, but I'm very good at worrying.

You're what?

Which is not healthy, obviously, and I kind of, between this space, like struggling, stop worrying, and then beating myself up for it. And the problem is that I tried meditation and I am not able to maintain a routine. I mean, I know how to meditate, I mean, at least one type, because I have tried it, it worked at one point, but then even when I try to do yoga or something, like if I do it at home, I do it 2, 3 days and then I move to something else and get distracted with other things. And I know I know that would be one of the solutions to really— and part of the problem was that in the beginning, that's how I stopped it, was I cannot stand to see my thoughts. It's so annoying. It's like, I can't believe I'm thinking so much. I know.

I can hear it even in your voice. And you say to yourself, okay, I try yoga and I do it for 2 or 3 days and then I lose interest in it. Well, but what's wrong with that?

I think that's the bottom line, to realize there's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with that at all.

And so you let go of yoga for a few days and then you wake up one day and you say, I think I'll do yoga again. And you know, it's like we all get conditioned with these, I call them memes in Excuses Be Gone. Have you read Excuses Be Gone?

No, no, I haven't.

I really think you should read that. It would be very, very helpful to you. It's about overcoming all of these lifetime thinking habits. And the display quote for that book says, don't believe everything that you think. You know, I mean, because you've been conditioned to think that you're supposed to be on the right track. You're almost 50 years old. You should know what you're doing. You should know where you're going. You're in a program. You should finish the program. You should have some discipline. And there's no should about any of that. All you have to do is just enjoy yourself. And the best way to enjoy yourself and to be happy is to forget about yourself and reach out and serve other people. That's the greatest way to find your happiness. That's what I would recommend, truly, especially with the holiday season coming up.

Yeah, I mean, it's on my list, and it's just that I have to move it on it, 'cause I said, oh, I have to go volunteer somewhere. I have to, I have to. I was too busy with my little selfish things.

Absolutely, too much ego, too much worry, too much concern about myself and what's in it for me and am I doing the right thing? And we could trace that back to your parents and their parents and their parents' parents.

Yeah, but it doesn't help anymore 'cause I'm tired of understanding. I've overanalyzed everything and I want to move on.

Absolutely, my friend Stuart Wilde has a, you know, we used to have a thing down on a refrigerator. Used to say, there are many things in life that I do not understand, and I like it that way.

Yeah, you don't have to understand it.

I'm not sure I will ever let go of that 100%, but yeah, I want to keep the learner part.

Give yourself permission to just be, you know. Listen to the Beatles, you know, go listen to the Let It Be. Let it be, there will come an answer. Let it be. It's one of the great slogans of all time. Just, you know, stop the struggling, the internal stuff that you do with with your mind and just enjoy. You watch, everything that you need will come along. We gotta move along. I'm gonna send you a copy of The Shift, so stay tuned, okay? Thank you very much, Dr.

Wayne. Thank you, Roxanne. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays. Bye-bye.

And we'll get Roxanne a DVD copy, send her one out to Quebec. And we've got 2 minutes, maybe time to get started with someone really quickly. So let's go to Judy. She's also calling from Canada, from Ontario, and wants to know about self-sabotaging. A great question. Judy. Hi. Hi, Judy.

Thank you for taking my call. And Dr. Dyer, I want to thank you for all of the work that you do. It's just awesome stuff, and it's really helped me a lot. Thank you very much. My question today though is— you only have 2 minutes, so I'll be very quick.

No, that's okay.

We can always come back if we have—

that's okay. Every time I start to move forward with anything that I want to do that I'm excited about, but in particular weight loss, I start to get body problems. Like right now, I've really decided to take the next level towards being fit and healthy, and my back goes out, so the things that I plan to do, I can't do. And it's not that it's going out because I'm not doing exercises properly, it's even before I get started. So I'm wondering, what is in your head? Like, I've been reading Excuses Be Gone, and it's not a conscious thought, it just sort of happens, and I'm wondering, what is that self-sabotage somewhere in those memes?

That's a really good question, because I know I do the same thing myself. Myself. As a matter of fact, I was just telling Diane, both of us were talking about having a lower back pain ourselves today.

Oh, maybe it's just going around then.

No, I don't think that it's going around as much as I think that when you set yourself up to do something that you haven't done, haven't been able to do for a long time— like, how long have you been not in the weight level that you would like to be?

How long has it been overweight? How many?

10 years. So you got 10 years, you got a whole decade behind you of carrying around excess. How How much extra weight?

About 160 at this point.

160 extra? Yep. Okay, basically you're saying that you're self-up with a goal or an ambition of some kind to get yourself back into the kind of shape that you know you belong in and that is your birthright. And that as soon as you make the commitment to do that, something goes awack and off you go. Right. You're listening to someone who was who has been an addict for a good part of his life, or at least part of addictive behavior. As a kid, it was to Coca-Cola and sugar, and then it was to nicotine, and then it was to alcohol and drugs and things like this. And so I know the game, all right? And when you wanna change something like an addictive pattern, and you're talking about an addiction to food here, obviously, because you're saying you're carrying around an extra 160 pounds. That's another person and a half, an extra person that you're carrying around, and you know all of the, of the dangers of doing such a thing to your body. And you want to make the change. And when I wanted to make the change to stop drinking Coca-Cola, for example, when I wanted to stop with the caffeine, or when I wanted to stop with the nicotine, or stop with the alcohol and so on, I would find myself that there's a sabotaging system built into addictive behavior. And this sabotaging system is one that really— because I think that the things like sugar, which is one of the things you're addicted to, I can feel it, is something that it's an entity all unto itself and it has almost a design on you and it begins to speak to you in a certain way and it begins to say to yourself, you begin to say, "Well, I'm gonna overcome this, this overeating thing, this lack of exercising thing," and the entity, whether it's cocaine or whether it's sugar or caffeine or whether it's alcohol or whatever it might be, almost speaks back to you and says, "You think it's gonna be that easy? You think I'm gonna let go of you quite like that?" Pardon me?

That's how it feels.

Yeah, I don't believe that it's just how it feels. I believe that's true, okay? I believe that it does. Like everything in the universe has an energy system. Cocaine is an energy system. Caffeine is an energy system. And it's like, and there's just little pieces of it, but there's one great big energy system and it's showing up in all kinds of ways. So that when you set yourself up to go ahead and do what it is that you really want to do and you start talking to yourself in the right way and having the right affirmations and doing all the kinds of things that we speak about here on Ahouse Radio and that I speak about in my book, in many of my books and in the film and so on, what happens is that that self-sabotaging system begins to kick in and it begins to say, you know, if you think that's gonna be easy, then I'm gonna take this away from you. I'm gonna make it more difficult for you to, and what you have to do, Judy, more than anything else, is connect to your highest self. And the highest place within you is really God. And so it's like, instead of saying— I've quoted this a few times on the show— my friend Patti Davis, who was President Reagan's daughter, who was, if you know anything about her, was a cocaine addict while Reagan was president and had a terrible relationship with her father and with her mother and so on. And she used to say, I'm going to quit this, but I'm going to stop disappointing myself. I'm so tired of disappointing myself. And every time she And every time she would do that again, something would come in and she would sabotage herself and she'd go back on another binge. And before you know it, she'd be right back where she started. And then she said she finally came to a place in her heart where she said, I just decided that I no longer wanted to disappoint God. And I think this is something that you might want to think about really hard. You came into this world from a place of well-being, from a place of perfect well-being. You didn't come into this world obese. You didn't come into this world with any inclinations towards obesity or towards carrying around all of this extra weight that you have allowed to pile onto yourself. What you did is you came into a place aligned with God, aligned with your spirit, and you allowed yourself to get away from your spirit. I recommend that you get back and say to yourself, I no longer intending to disappoint God— when you behave in a certain way or when you go to church or so on. I'm talking about the highest place within yourself, the place that you originated from, your source of being. And that is who you are at the very highest level. You're not here as a human being having a spiritual experience. It's the reverse, Judy. You are a spiritual being, a spiritual being having a human experience. And that spiritual part of yourself, you have disappointed it and you're sad about it. And so every time you go to get yourself back into that aligned place, this energy energy, whether it's the sugar or whether it's the sitting around or whether it's the sore back or whatever it is, begins to kick in and to try to get you off of that path because you've been so accustomed to being on a non-spiritual path. So what you want to do is when the backache comes and all of that, you say, that's fine, but I'm still not going to overeat today, and I'm still going to walk around the block even though I said I wouldn't. I'm going to even do it with a sore back. In other words, I'm going to talk back to these self-sabotaging encouraging lifetime thinking habits that I have had, and I'm going to talk back to them in a way that they've never been talked to before. I'm going to remind myself and go through the paradigm. Have you read Excuses Be Gone?

Yes, I have it on my desk still.

Yeah, good. I still look at it all the time.

Okay, the 7-part paradigm at the end of that book with the first question is, what thoughts do I have? Is it true that it's going to be difficult for me to change? Is it true that it's going to take me a long time. Is it true that I don't have the strength to do this? And you begin to realize that those thoughts simply are not true. You're letting yourself be guided by false statements, false thoughts within yourself. And as you begin to make that shift into the truer statement, which is, I have within me the capacity to be the perfect well-being person that I was intended to be, and you hang on to that affirmation consistently, when the backache comes, you'll just ignore the backache. You know, when you say I'm too You'll ignore the tiredness. When your schedule changes and it just seems like you were all ready to go do your exercise and it doesn't work, you'll do your exercise before you go to bed. You'll sleep a little bit less. Whatever it might be, you'll start to use the discipline that you have, that your spirit is speaking to you of, instead of the part of you, the ego part of you, which is always looking for some reason to stay and do the easiest thing. Does that make sense? It makes a lot of sense.

Sense. Yeah, yeah. Thank you very much.

You're very welcome. And you can do this. You really can do this. Keep in touch with me, okay? I'd like to hear your progress on this, because once you have an affirmation— I'm going to be writing a book called Wishes Fulfilled, and it's really based on the, on the great teachings of Neville Goddard. And Neville speaks about the power of assuming. You know, your imagination is the greatest gift that you've been given. In your imagination, you see yourself weighing and looking the the way you want to. You even draw a picture of yourself looking, or to find the picture of yourself from 10 years ago when you were the weight that you wanted to be, and you reproduce that as many places as you can. You put it in your car, you put it on your refrigerator, you put it on your bed, you put it on your mirror where you put your makeup on. You have that picture everywhere to constantly remind yourself that who I am is this divine, perfect piece of well-being that I originated from, and that's where I intend to this day, and God will help you do it, I promise.

That's an awesome idea. I never thought of doing that.

Yeah, start with it right now.

And when we hang up the phone, you know, you got a backache? Yes. You know, where, where are you, in Ontario?

Yes. Okay, so put your, well, your warmer clothes on, whatever it is, and go. Just, if you'll do this for me, just walk around the block.

Okay. I don't need warmer clothes.

I have 160 extra pounds. Okay, can you walk around the—

just walk around the block once? Okay. Okay, just go do that and try to walk briskly. No matter how much your back hurts, just do that. Okay. And now you've taken your first step. But before you do that, we're going to give you an address and we're going to send you a copy of the Shift.

Okay, thank you so much.

Thanks, Judy. God bless you, my friend.

You too. Namaste.

And let's go to Mandy next. She's calling from Orange, California on line 4. And thanks for joining us, Mandy. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

Mandy, the There's a minister handy and it sure would be dandy if we let him make a peace.

Do you remember that? No, I don't.

So don't you linger, here's a ring for your finger for Mandy and me. Okay, that's a song to look up. How are you, dear?

I'm doing okay. Good. I'm calling because my husband has decided that he no longer wants to be married. We have two small children and it's sort of come out of nowhere and I need to know I can handle this gracefully and not react with anger because we have children and we need to be friends. And I don't know if I can do that or—

Yes, you can do that, dear.

Yes, you can do that. Has this been something that's been coming on or is it a big surprise to you?

It was a really big surprise.

I mean, we're not perfect, you know. We've kind of taken each other for granted over time. But I never realized he was so unhappy. He's never shared that. He's been stuffing his feelings rather than telling me how he feels, and, and it got too much for him to handle. And then he just snapped and just said, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore. Is he seeing someone else? I've asked him and I don't believe that's the case. He says no, he's not where he thought he would be. He doesn't feel like the man he should be. He doesn't feel like he's providing for us financially the way he should be by this point in his life, and he's just— I feel like he has a lot of self-esteem issues, that he's reacting like he's running. I'm not sure. I don't, I don't understand it.

How old is he? He's 34.

And how long have you been married?

We've been married almost 9 years.

And your reaction is— I mean, as far as you're being able to handle this, yes. I mean, you sound rational. You sound like, you know, you have to be friends, that you can't, uh, you know, in Divorce isn't that uncommon a thing. Like, every other marriage ends in it in our country. So it's not like half the people in the country are failures. You know, it's not that you failed at anything. You've produced a result. But the question is, where are you emotionally in this thing? You're the mom of two little children.

Well, I don't want it to end.

I think that we have such a good foundation, and we've been friends for so long and together for so long that I want to work at it, and he doesn't— he can't do that. And so I feel like if we end this without trying counseling, that it's throwing it away. Yeah, like I'm asking him, you know, 6 months, let's try it for 6 months, and if you can't change, I'll let you go. I'll let you go do what you need to do. But to just, to just up and walk out on it, it doesn't— I don't understand that.

It doesn't sound right to me, Mandy.

It really does. He's not leaving the home. Home. He's, you know, he wants to— I can't afford our home by myself, but he wants to make sure that financially I'm still able to stay in our house for the girls, even if that means he has to live at his parents'. And so I don't really understand what he's doing. He— it feels like he has guilt and self-esteem issues, and I don't know when— it feels—

and I, you know, I'm just talking instinctively here, but it feels to me like he's been seeing somebody else, and that's a hard thing for him to be able to admit to and doesn't want to. I'm just telling you that off the top of my head, that's what registers. I don't know that it's true or not, and I have no right to say it other than it's just what I feel, and that's how I run this radio show. And it's not the first time I've heard it either, so yeah. Have you had any suspicion of anything like that, uh, in the, in the last, uh, 6 months or so?

He has like a best friend that he's really close to, but she's a lesbian, and so, I mean, I've met her girlfriends and, and we've spent time together.

I don't mean that. I mean, has he stayed away from you sexually, for example, on the last 6 months or so?

No. No. No.

So you still have a physical closeness?

We aren't now, not for the last couple of weeks, because I told him, I said, if he— if, if this is what you want, we can't lead one life and not the other, because I will think that you want to be with me. I'll misunderstand that. And so we cut it off. Yeah, he's staying in the home, he's sleeping on the sofa. We haven't told our children We haven't told our family. He doesn't have a plan for what he wants to do, and that makes me confused too. Why wouldn't he have a plan?

What I want you to do, Mandy, what I want you to do, because we only have a few minutes here, what I want you to do is to go within, and I want you to meditate and get quiet, and I want you to find the strength that has allowed you to give birth to those two girls of yours, and that has allowed you to hold this family together, and has allowed you to, you know, be the woman, the strong woman that you are. Woman that you are and stay in that strength and begin to realize and recognize that, you know, whether or not you're with your husband or not with your husband, that your sense of your strength and your peace and your confidence in yourself is not going to be determined on the basis of anything that he does. Okay? He doesn't get control of that. He doesn't get to decide whether or not you're going to be this strong, you know, a powerful woman. Now, my personal recommendation— I'm doing this on just a few minutes of talking to you, would be to tell him, if you really don't want to be married to me, then you should be leaving right now, and you should be making arrangements to take care of your family and to financially make sure that we're all in good shape. Are you working?

Yeah, you are.

So if that's really where you want to be, and let him experience what this feels like, you know, because it's, it's one thing that he may be going through a, you know, some kind of a midlife crisis, or he might be going through some kind of a difficult. I suspect of something else, but regardless of what my suspicions are, let him experience what this—

what, what it feels like.

I just don't think living in limbo is, is going to be a healthy thing for you or for the children.

I'm sorry, that's what I was thinking too. He wants to wait until after the holidays so that we don't disrupt the children, you know, and, and the timing is so bad that I think what I would offer to your husband is like, I want to save this marriage, and, uh, it's very important to me.

But if you don't feel the same way, then obviously, you know, it can't be done just by one person. If we need to seek out counseling or marriage therapy of some kind, I'd be happy to participate. If you're not willing to do that and you made up your mind that you want to, that you want to end this marriage, then I'm inviting you to leave today. And we'll set up a legal arrangement so that you take care of your financial responsibilities, and we'll, we'll move on with our lives. And let him see what the consequences of that are. Because if it's not this holiday season, it's going to be another holiday season. And I think putting those things on hold, I think letting him know the consequences of his behavior and what he is asking, the consequences of that, especially with two small children, are very, very serious. And he needs to know it, that he doesn't have someone who's sitting at home waiting for him to make up his mind whether he wants to work on this or not.

Okay, does that make sense? Does that make sense to you? Complete.

Yeah, yeah, and you sound like a strong woman. I wouldn't be afraid of this at all, you know. How is your relationship to your children? It's wonderful. And how about his relationship to them?

He's been disconnected for a while, and I think it goes back to his self-esteem issues. He loves them and he's a great father, but he doesn't give them everything that— he has a lot of distractions. He uses his laptop and his phone to keep himself busy. Yeah. So he has a lot of, like, self-esteem issues, space.

But you don't need to be buried in his self-esteem issues, okay? Yeah, that's, uh, I mean, if he's got that to work on and you're willing to work on it with him, that's one thing. But for you to sit around and be sad inside and worry, it's, uh, that's— it's not going to do any, any good for you or anyone else. And he needs— as I said, when people make these kinds of assertions and they come at you, then they need to know the consequences of their behavior. And these are the consequences, you know. You're, you're giving You're giving up your role as father. You're giving up your role as a husband. If you want to work on it, I'm here for you. If you don't, then you need to get out there and work on it yourself, and I'll be fine.

Okay. Okay, sweetheart? Thank you so much.

Stand by. Have you seen The Shift? I haven't. We're going to send you a copy, okay?

I'm guessing it's going to be very helpful.

I think it will be.

I'm sure it will be. Thank you. Thank you.

Namaste. And we have time for one more, the bonus call that we never think we have time for. And let's go to Deborah, line 3. Deborah calling from New York. Hi Deborah, you still there? Thanks for holding. Yes. Hi Deborah.

Hi Wayne, I am so thrilled. I feel so blessed to be able to speak with you.

Thank you, I do too.

I have been a fan of yours since your Erroneous Zones.

My goodness.

Back when I was a young, a young adult.

You're an old, you're an old person like me now then.

Yeah, well, I'm 53. Oh, you're just a baby.

Oh yeah, yeah, I think we're all babies in the soul.

That's true.

Um, Wayne, I, I have a rather unique I recently retired from the NYPD where I was a sergeant for over 25 years, right? And so I have devoted my life to service.

And the last few years I got certified in executive coaching and leadership training, and I thought that would be my second career. I have had this incredible desire to set up a foundation for returning military members who are coming back from active duty and to help reacclimate them to civilian life, help them get a start with counseling, maybe some job fairs. And it's a very strong desire. I think of it all the time.

So what I'm planning on doing is writing a book on leadership and, you know, using the coaching method of leadership to help people.

Because in paramilitary organizations like the NYPD and like the military, you bark out an order, you expect it to be followed or else there's negative consequences. Whereas the coaching method is to really identify the individual, find out what it is that makes them want to participate and speak to that. So I'm looking to do that and to set up this foundation. I retired in April, I started writing the book, and I have just lost complete motivation. I find myself just letting it all fall by the wayside.

Yeah, I'd like you to go, you're in New York? Yes. So maybe tonight you could go out and see this film called Brothers.

Okay. Have you seen it? No. Have you heard about it?

I saw commercials on the TV. Yeah, it's about returning servicemen. And it was made for you. So that will be a good thing to get started with. Just see if you can find out where it's playing and go see that. And again, it's like what we were talking about throughout this whole show. It's like the theme has been, you know, is to take some kind of action, any kind of action, specific action. Because what happens is, and this is again, it goes back to when I write about it in Excuses Be Gone, we fall back into our habitual self-sabotaging ways. Once we get an idea, We think that it's great and all of that, and we put it out there and we start, and then we start to lose interest because everything isn't falling into place or because God isn't just putting it right into our lap and saying, "Here it is for you." You know, it's for you, I think, just reinvigorating yourself with the notion of how important this is. And then find one returning service member in your neighborhood. Somebody— are you in New York City or New York State?

Yeah. Yeah, you're in New York City, so you shouldn't have any difficulty with that. No, not at all.

And just bring one person over to your house that you can start coaching. Okay. Whoever it might be, somebody that's come home from— if you can't, then you can go over to one of the military hospitals.

To watch another amazing Wayne Dyer video, check it out right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.

A trained falcon would be a bird that could go out and kill a prey, and then they're taught not to eat the prey that they kill. They just give them a little piece of meat as a reward, and they could take a rabbit, they can kill actually a gazelle. I mean,