"Turn FEAR On ITSELF!" - Tony Robbins (@TonyRobbins) - #Entspresso

Good morning, Believe Nation. It's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe in people more than they believe in themselves. And my sincere hope is that if you see in yourself what I see in you, you'll be able to change the planet. So to help you on your journey, today's message is use fear. Over to you, Tony Robbins.

The only way to deal with fear that I found in my life is a couple of ways. One of those ways is to turn it on itself and ask yourself, what am I afraid of? I'm afraid of that? I gotta be more afraid of what I'm gonna miss out on. Missing out on my mission. Missing out on who I'm supposed to be. In other words, if you're not gonna get rid of fear, then use fear. Use fear or it uses you. It's that simple. So you gotta say, okay, what's the price if I just stay doing this? What's the price? I need to really get scared if I learn all this and I don't follow through. That's something to be scared about. And then that fear will get you over your fear. It'll push you through. Turn fear on itself. Second way you can do it is use what you've probably heard me say because I've used it since I was 17, is my little rocking chair test, right? I'm gonna sit myself in my rocking chair and I'm 85 years old and looking back on my life and I say, I didn't do this or I did.

So I like to use fear in two different ways. The first is the rocking chair test. It's, will I regret this when I'm on my deathbed, when I'm 80, 90, 100, 250 years old, however long we're living at that point in the future? Will I regret this? And that was something that I learned when I was 18, 19 years old, and it's been one of the most powerful lessons that has had an impact on me, that I had this moment in my life. I've talked about Paris and the girl story that I had before. And from there I decided I don't want to live with regret. Like, I could deal with short-term pain, but I can't deal with not knowing. And that led me to join the startup company. And ever since, if I come across the situation and I'm going to feel like I'm going to regret it, like I want to say yes, but I'm really afraid because of whatever short-term impact there might be, I just make the longer-term fear bigger than the short-term fear. So I'm more afraid to miss out on a lifetime of opportunity versus the short-term fear of it not working out. And if you can catch yourself when you feel those moments of, I'm just finding practical reasons why I shouldn't do this, but really it's just fear, I find that that really helps me thinking about the long term. And whenever I have a major decision that I'm unsure about, I imagine my life on my deathbed, rocking chair test, looking back. Am I going to regret this? And if it's yes, if I'm going to regret not taking action, then I know I have to take action, however scary that may be short-term. The second thing that I use fear for is building the muscle. My muscle-building test. And that's where I want to get used to being uncomfortable. I want to get used to, if I'm afraid of something, not just always shrinking down. And the hardest part, I think, for most people is to catch it. Because again, we come up with these rational reasons for why we shouldn't do something. Where really it's just that fear speaking out. So understanding the why behind the why, really, really important. And the more you say yes to those things, the more you stretch your comfort zone, just for the fact that you were afraid of doing it, the more that muscle is going to build. And I've shared a number of different examples in different videos of me, you know, dancing on the street and being afraid of what people would say about me, or me trying to do snowboard jumps and being afraid of what people would say or look at me. Or even here, walking, making a video. This is not a green screen. Somebody commented before, "What green screen are you on?" I'm not on a green screen. This is the actual business that I own, Toronto Dance Salsa. That's the natural window. There's real people walking behind. And at the start, that can be intimidating, right? That people are walking behind. Sometimes people like look in and see what's happening, and I have to worry, like, are they judging me? But the fact that I'm afraid of that means that I have to go out and do it. Just to see it, just to get rid of that fear. And then what that does is expands my comfort zone so that the next time I do it, it's not as scary, and the next time it's not as scary, and the next time you lose the fear. So I'm not afraid to come here now and speak with people walking by. But if you constantly allow fear to beat you, then even the smallest things you're going to shrink down from. And when you have opportunities that can serve your higher purpose, that can make a great life for yourself, you're not going to do them because you're too afraid, because you just live in this tiny little bubble. So if you can continue to expand— like, the great things happen at the edge of your comfort zone. So if you can continue to expand your comfort zone, more and more and more great things are going to happen to you. And so just recognizing it, whenever you can catch that fear, it can make a big difference if you decide to say yes, to step into the fear, to lean in on it, and just do it even though you are afraid. So those two tests, the rocking chair test Look forward. If you're going to regret it for the rest of your life, then you have to say yes. You have to have the certainty. You have to know and deal with short-term potential failure for not working out versus the long-term, you know, for the rest of your life feeling like you're living with regret. And two, just building the muscle, recognizing that the great things happen at the edge of your comfort zone. And the more you practice stretching your comfort zone, the more great things are going to happen to you. So the question today is, I'm curious, how do you use fear? How have you used fear to help you in your business or in your life? I'd love to hear an example if you want to share it. Please put it down in the comments below. And also, if you're responding with a comment in the first couple hours of this video going live, you have a chance to win one of our two daily prizes. I also want to give a quick shout out to Serge Berberoff. Serge, thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word, and taking that picture and posting it to Twitter. I really, really appreciate the support, man, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the book. Thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love, and I'll see you again tomorrow morning for another shot of espresso.

When you experience moments of self-doubt, how do you approach getting out of that dark place?

I grandiose my way out of fear.

If you can imagine that.

It's a good way. It's charming. It's like, literally, it's like, okay, I'm going to do one of the greatest car chases of all time. And if I don't, I'm not as talented as I thought I was. And I will realize that there is a ceiling to my talent. Right now I don't think there is, but if I don't do— but if it's not one of the greatest car chases of all time, then I failed and there is a ceiling to my talent. I'm not as good as I thought I was. And I said that to everyone. Everybody. And was I scared? Yeah. All right, I had trepidation going all the way, because it's mine to fail. And it's my— and it would be a— and it's, it's failing in front of the mirror too, because I'll know if I did it or not. And I'll be like, okay, you are not as good as you thought you were. And that got me to Mount Everest.

It's true. I remember at one point he goes, Robert, can you imagine you and me doing this car chase together, how great it's going to be? And I'm like, hey man, you're on your own, brother. I ain't going out there, man. I got 5 kids.

I'm not gonna—

100-mile-an-hour bullshit. You want to live the vanishing point dream, buddy? Live it.

And he did it all by himself, and I'm so fucking proud of him. There's a scene in there where you talked about, um, bullies and running from, uh, danger and things like that when you were trying to help this kid. Yeah, what happens is this boy is being harassed by the neighborhood bully, and his father's encouraging his son to beat up this little boy. And I wrote this scene. I wrote this particular scene in the script. And I was trying to think, what can I write to encourage this boy to handle this situation with this bully in the neighborhood? And I'm spending days trying to figure out, what can I say to a boy? And finally, I came up with the answer. And it was a situation that I, as a child, had encountered about his age. I went to a school in Arizona that was mostly Indians from the reservation. And there's this one Indian kid who just didn't like me, and every day he'd chase me home from school. And I'd have to run by this gas station, and this mechanic would watch me being chased by this Indian kid every day. And finally he just couldn't handle it anymore, and he stopped me and made me face this boy. And I told him, I said, you know, I told him I was scared. And he says, well— and what he said to me, which is still true, which I remember, is that he says, you know, that running from your fear is more painful than facing it. And that's something I've always remembered, and this is what I relate to this boy. And of course, eventually he has to face this fear in the film. Be right back with more Chuck Norris.

I see you in your basement like a Batman with all machines and stuff. It's really precise, I guess, and really what you put, you know what you put, and then you go live.

Yes. What's the difference? —The risk? —The risk, you know, and the risk— and I have stage fright, you know, and I never confronted the risk. Or when I did confront— I mean, Belgium, you know, year 2000. That was— you have no idea what it took them to get me to do it. No, no, no, no. I had a thousand excuses why not to do it, and then finally I did it, and it was Exquisitely horrifying. That's the only way I can put it. Complex. Yes, it was very, very, very complex. And what was really good was right at the beginning, within like 2 seconds, I played just the worst wrong note, and I could either stop I could laugh, right? And it didn't kill me, and nobody else got hurt, nobody was throwing anything, you know, it was fine. Thank you to the people of Ghent for not killing me and giving me the courage and, you know, the absurdity. You know, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and you have to learn how to laugh at yourself.