WHY LETTING GO Changes EVERYTHING: Dr. Wayne Dyer’s GUIDE to Peace & Purpose

What if the key to everything you desire is simply letting go? In a world consumed by fear and ego, Dr. Wayne Dyer inspires us to surrender to the unseen force that orchestrates miracles in every aspect of life. In this radio show, he shares profound lessons on forgiveness, letting go, and living in alignment with our highest self, urging us to transform fear into faith and resentment into love. Each moment is a chance to embrace divine flow, think small, act with intention, and create a life filled with peace and purpose. Special thanks to Hay House for partnering with us to release this content exclusively on our YouTube channel. And if you make it all the way to the end of the video, leave a hashtag #believe in the comments below so I can celebrate with you.

Believe.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is joining us live today, and it's always good to hear from you, Dr. Dyer.

It's always good to hear from anyone, to tell you the truth.

You know, when you think of the alternatives, yeah, no, it's a great day.

That's true.

I already did, I already did an hour swim and I've got this new thing. My kids for Father's Day all chipped in and bought me a, some kind of an inversion machine where you step into this thing and then you strap your legs in and you turn yourself upside down.

So that's got to be fun.

Yeah.

And you control it through your arms. So as you move your arms back and you move them a little bit further, it goes back.

It's all done through weights and something. I don't know, but anyway, it's been amazing. It's really helped my back a lot. I stand upside down. I just did a 15-minute conversation with Reed while I was upside down.

And you know, I actually could understand him upside down.

That's amazing.

Did he make more sense?

Standing straight up, he doesn't make any sense at all, but upside down, everything was perfect. So maybe that's the answer.

That's great.

I got this great visual of you kind of upside down like a vampire, you know, talking to Reed on the phone.

That's exactly what I was doing, just hanging there by my neck. Ankles thinking if this machine were to let go right now, it would be—

there'd be trouble.

I also had this whole vision of like getting on that thing and not being able to get off, and it's in another place and my kids aren't around and I can't get to a phone and I'm just hung up there. And then like 5 days later they find me just a corpse just hanging there upside down. Oh no, Mussolini, you know, that's scary.

Anyway, I wanted to ask you something before you went to callers, something that I was thinking about, and maybe other people can relate as well because you You mentioned, or you've talked about this before, allowing and just kind of allowing things to happen. And I've had some things going on that I'm trying to allow to happen, and I just thought maybe you could speak on that for a minute, because I think it's so important to kind of let go of control and sometimes let the better thing happen.

Yeah, to recognize that there is an intelligence in this universe and that it is really moving all the pieces around. And within this context, we are in our puny little egos making all of these choices about, I'm going to do this, or I'm going to do that. No, I think I'll go this way. No, I won't do that. And basically, there's the same intelligence that brings us into this world. There's a wonderful observation, a poetic observation. See if I know it by heart. It's from Rumi. He said, only the anointed one who is always seducing the formless into form had the charm to win my heart. And only the perfect one, only the perfect one who is always laughing and laughing at the word 'to' can make you know of love. And basically what Rumi is saying there is that there is an intelligence that seduces us from the formless, from the world of spirit, into the world of form. And everything that shows up here in this physical world comes from that intelligence, and it's all being taken care of. It's all being handled for us. And the more we can get ourselves out of the way of it, and stop telling ourselves that we're the ones who are in charge and we have to make all the decisions and then we have to get ourselves filled with all kinds of anxiety about whether we're doing it right or wrong or whether other people like it or not or whether it's going to work or not work and all of these things when in fact the divine anointed one, the perfect one that Rumi is speaking about there, just takes care of all of it for us and all you have to do is just let go and recognize that this intelligence is always working. And instead of fighting it and being upset about it and anxious about it, which are all emotional components which inhibit the natural flowing process that grows your fingernails and beats your heart and digests your food and moves the planets across the sky and opens the flowers and takes care of everything. As they say in the Tao Te Ching, the Tao does nothing, but it leaves nothing undone. And it's getting to that place of just recognizing and knowing You know, whenever I'm being introduced to speak, I stand in the wings and somebody's going through a little biography of something taking place, something that I did at one time or another, books I've written, or— and they give my introduction. And I'm always— what I'm doing is I don't listen to what they say. I'm repeating a mantra from A Course in Miracles that says, if you knew, if you knew, which means you have banished all doubt, if you knew who walked beside you at all times on this path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again. And that's what allowing really is. It's knowing that you have a senior partner, that you're connected to something, the same something that, that seduced you from the world of the formless into the world of form is there. And if you trust in it, let go and just start to align yourself with it. And what I say in The Power of Intention is to start thinking like God thinks, like your source of being thinks. Which is always creating and always doing it from a place of love and kindness. And if you can stay in those places and eliminate all of your judgments and all of your criticisms and all of your condemnations and all of the things that you do to put people into boxes and make demands of the universe, if you can just let go of all of that and just let go, as we say in the recovery movement. I've been saying it for 25 years now, that we just let go and let God. And we handle it. And you don't— try not to think so big. I have a new friend now, his name is William Davis, who's written this book called Wheat Belly, which I talked about last week. And I've been doing the gluten-free route for the last— it's a little over 3 weeks now. I started on the summer solstice, so it's whatever, however long ago it is, it's close to a month. And what I've learned with this whole process is, is that You know, it's like our body knows exactly what's good for us, and so we just have to allow it and, and do that in the way that you choose to eat food. But the fellow who wrote the book, uh, William Davis, is in Milwaukee, and, um, and I've talked to him about doing a public television special and really alerting the world to some of the contaminating effects of this new wheat that has been genetically modified to such a point where it's really toxic and deleterious to the health of so so many people. It's the cause of so much overweightedness and so much, so much diabetes and so much heart disease and so many of these kinds of things that are just a part of our life that we've accepted because our food supply has been contaminated. Not just our wheat supply, but our dairy supplies, and almost everything that we eat has been handled by Big Food. And, um, and so we've been writing back and forth. I've been talking to him about I'd really like to, to bring this awareness to the to the world. And he wrote me back and he said, well, one of the things I'm concerned about is overpopulation and another thing, you know, is that we have so many people and we've got big food in here and big pharma in there. I wrote him back and I said, whoa, whoa, I said, and if you want to accomplish something really big, really big, I said, you have to think small. You know, and thinking small means you just allow, you just, and you just think this moment. And I said, I said, I told him on that email, I said, 25, it's been 25 years since I've had alcohol in my body. 25 years. And I said, and that's really a very, very great accomplishment, and it's big. It's really big. But I said, I didn't get to this point by thinking big. I didn't 25 years ago say, for the next quarter of a century, I'm not going to have a drink. You know, that's just, uh, that would be enough to send me off to a bar, you know, to look for something to drink, to at least think about it. The way you accomplish something big is what it says in the Tao, is that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You just take that step. You just do it today. You think small. You know, if you're overweight by 50 pounds or 100 pounds or whatever, you don't think, well, I'm going to lose 100 pounds. You just say, today, today I'm going to treat my body like a temple, and I'm going to just give it something that's going to make it feel good. I'm just going to allow. I'm going to listen. And then you do that today. And you just do it today. If not even today might be too much, just do it for this morning, you know, just do it for this noon meal or whatever. And ultimately that leads to the building up of momentum. And ultimately, and that's how the whole thing works in the universe. It's like you think small, you just allow, you turn it all over to God. You know that you have a partner. You're not alone. You know that whatever seduced you into the world, from the world of spirit into the world of form, and it's going to take you back as well. It's always working, and it's something you can totally rely on and practice. In fact, on my Facebook page, Diane, there's a mention in there of this book called E-Squared.

Oh yes, Pam Gratz.

Yes, and I've been getting— I've been doing the experiments, and you know, about how we're connected to the field. And I did the first 3, and all 3 of them absolutely worked. I could give specific examples of how they did. But basically what she's saying in there is something that I've written about a lot, and it was written about in The Secret, is that there is an intelligence. There's a divine intelligence. She calls it the FP, the field of potentiality, the ultimate field from which all things come, to which all things return. And this infinite field is always there. It doesn't leave, and it's available to all of us to connect to at any time. All we have to do is get our ego out of the way and stop telling ourselves that it's up to me to get it done, and me meaning, you know, my body and who I am and what my job is or whatever. Just let go and just enjoy it all.

So that's a good reminder. Yeah, thanks for that.

That's a good reminder.

You're very welcome.

So we still have time in this segment to grab a call.

Absolutely.

Great questions here. So let's start off with Sarah, and she's calling from St. Alberta. Hi, Sarah, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer.

Hi, Sarah, can you hear me?

I can hear you.

How are you?

Oh, great.

There you are.

I'm doing great.

Thanks.

How are you?

I'm doing good.

You're in Alberta.

Are you in Calgary?

No, St. Albert.

Calgary—

you heard about the floods in Calgary, hey?

That's what I was going to ask you about. Yes, I certainly did.

Yes, that's another reminder that global warming is real.

Even though your prime minister doesn't seem to understand that. Oh, Stephen? Yes.

I don't know, hey. Well, we've done our best to raise a lot of funds, and there's something called the Calgary Stampede.

Yes, I know about it.

And they raised quite a bit of money through that for the relief, so.

Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, that's wonderful. We all come together in times like that, but it was a big shock, wasn't it? All of that, uh, all that water in Calgary. It's never happened before.

It was amazing, like, even on the news coverage.

Just to—

like I said, I, I live in the capital, and it—

or I live just north of the capital, Edmonton, so we're a couple hours away, but, uh, it's still funny to see.

All right, well, what's on your mind, Sarah? Why did you pick up that phone today and say hello to me?

I would like your advice on— I'm feeling a bit of a stress, or a bit stressed in my relationship with my father right now. His wife and I are not getting along at all. The hospital for 10 months or so, and she and I have struggled before, and our communication is just coming to a complete roadblock, and I am in complete fear of losing connection with my dad, even with that coming to a head.

Okay. I didn't hear all of it because a little bit of it cut out. You said something about the hospital. What was that about the hospital and 10 months or something? I missed that.

Last year I had a brain infection which led to a brain injury, and I was in the hospital for 10 months.

Oh, I see. Okay.

And just that kind— she and I have struggled before a little bit in our relationship, and that is that, that happening last year, and it's just adding to it.

Um, okay, so the whole thing, Sarah, is on you, my dear. Now some of this is going to sound like it's impossible to do what I'm about to say to you, But I just, you know, you called me, so I'm just going to tell you what my gut tells me. And that is that, you know, I always think when I hear these kinds of concerns that lines from Jerry Jampolsky, whatever the question, love is the answer. Okay. So that, and that our job is to really, you know, all we are here for is to teach love. Not to love God, not to love some kind of religious organization. Or even our country or our community or any of that. Our job is really to be love, to be instruments of love, to be love. Okay. So when you are love, which is what you came from and which is what you will return to, our source, you know, even Jesus said that God is love and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in me and I in him.

So God isn't really some being out there that is out there, you know, pulling all of the strings and doing all of these things.

It's an energy. It's an energy that's in all things. And, uh, it's a divine loving energy. And you're—

this woman who is your father's wife, I assume not your mother, is that correct?

No, my mom passed, uh, August will be 10 years my mom passed away.

Okay, so this is your father's wife and, uh, and someone that you are having difficulty with. And the answer to this is so simple for you, Sarah, and you can do this and you can do this right now. Which is you just start seeing her. Let's give her a name.

You can give her a name.

Do you want to give her a name, or if not, just give another name? Mary, whatever.

What is it?

Lavina.

Lavina. All right, so let's just give this Lavina this, and let's just see her as a teacher who has come into your life. Okay, so she's like an angelic teacher. She was seduced from the world of the formless into the world of form, like Rumi said. So here's this angel who has come into your— to show up in your life as your father's wife. And what her role is, is to teach you how to love no matter how obnoxious she is, no matter how inconsiderate she is, no matter how unfeeling she is, no matter what it is, that your job is to really see her as your teacher, you know, and to see if it's possible for you to love her despite everything that she does that is alienating to you or that upsets you or makes you hurt or whatever it is. That no matter what it is that comes out of you, your only response is, oh, she's a teacher, she's an angelic teacher, my job is to love her, my job is to love her. And if you can give yourself permission to do that despite— and get your ego out of this picture, and your ego is the part of you that's saying she has no right to do that, and who the hell does she think she is, and she's not my mother, and she doesn't— and she's going to keep me from knowing my father, and all of that, that all of that stuff, that's just your ego's worrisome, fearful, you know, I'm not being paid enough attention to, I'm going to lose my father, and me, me, me, you know. And just let go of all of that, Sarah. Just let it all go and just love this woman. Just love her. Send her some flowers, send her a book, make a phone call to her, send her an email, send her a piece of jewelry.

I don't know, whatever it is.

And no matter what it is that comes out of her mouth and what she says or how she behaved, your response is You're my teacher, you know, and you're an angel sent to me to teach me how to love someone who's probably the hardest person in the world for me to love. The hardest person alive for me to love right now is a man named Rush Limbaugh. I don't know if you know who he is, but okay, so he's on the radio and he makes all of these kinds of, you know, just what I call obnoxious statements and just sort of a blowhard and did drugs himself and got himself into trouble but wants to put everybody else who does them in jail. Endless, you know, all of this kind of stuff. So this is a guy that's like, it's really hard for me to love somebody like this because he just represents almost everything that I don't believe in, you know, up and down the line.

You know, he just always seems to be on the opposite side of everything that I believe.

And I have a picture of him on a statue of St. Francis in my sacred space where I keep all of the things that are really sacred to me and where plants grow without even being in dirt. It's just an amazing place that I have in my house where it's just a love place. And every time I walk in that room, it's my reminder to, when I see his picture, that the only thing that I want to come out of me is love for anyone. And I find him less and less disconcerting.

It isn't like I'm adopting his philosophy and I'm moving him into my house and we're gonna become camping buddies or something.

But it's like, into— these are your greatest teachers. My greatest teacher— I did a film, we're going to send you a copy of it, it's called My Greatest Teacher, so make sure you leave your address. It's a story of how I found my father, um, and it's reenacted by some actors who played me as a younger man. But, and it wasn't until I was able to send love to this man who abandoned me, who was an alcoholic, who was a drug addict, who was a prisoner, who abused my mother continuously, all, you know, it's like, and on and on and on I could go with it. And it turns out that being able to forgive him and send him love was what turned my entire life around. Everything, my health changed, everything changed. Because forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. It's like, that's from Mark Twain. You know, you've got to be able to send love, a beautiful fragrance of a violet, in the face of people who are crushing you and crushing your spirit. And you will turn her— not only will you turn her around, you'll see a remarkable change. Because no matter what she says, you're not going to be able to do anything but just give love, because that's who you are. That's all you are. That's all you have to give away. That's my response. Does that help?

Very much. I'm already feeling— I was writing down a few things as you were talking there, and I'm already feeling calmer.

Yeah.

Than when I initially dialed that number.

Try to see yourself as having two people inside of you. One is your ego, the part of you that needs to be right, the part of you that believes that who you are is what you accomplish and it's your relationship to your father and all of this stuff. And then there's another part within you, and that's the part of you that is your highest self, and that is a spark of God. It's a piece of love. And just go from there, especially when it comes to this woman. Just send her love, just send her love. And you're gonna find that no one can get to you. Go ahead, I only have a few seconds left. What's up?

Okay, can I share a quick story about a woman who, she was raising money for the Mary Cuddy Cancer Fund, I think. She's originally from England and then she moved to Canada and she just finished sailing around the world to raise money for cancer.

Wow.

What's her name?

Um, uh, I did.

I read about this lady. I read about this lady. This was on the internet someplace.

Yeah, I'm blanking all of a sudden on her name, but if you were to— if somebody were to Google like, um, a Canadian woman sailing around the world and Marie Curie Cancer Foundation, she's originally from England, but it was a wonderful story.

Oh, that's wonderful. Well, great. You're going to have the same kind of, uh, divine guidance that's happening for you with your father's wife, you know, this person that you now are in love with, that you love, and you're going to send her nothing but love. This whole idea that we were just talking about with Sarah up in Canada, that there's something to which we are all connected. We're not connected to it enough. Most of us have a sort of a rusty link to that connection, but there's something that's taking care of everything for us if we could just surrender to it. And when you get to a certain part in your age in your life, which I have done. I was able to look at 58 or so of the most significant things that have happened to me, and I can see now as I look back on them that how all of this was just part of a tapestry that was to be my life, and that I thought I was making all of these decisions all along, and basically it's really about a surrendering and an allowing process. And the nice thing about it is you don't have to wait until you're, you know, in your 70s or 80s to see it. Every experience that you have, you can recognize recognized as something that is part of the divine plan for, for you, right?

That's so true.

In all of that, within all of that context, yes, you do, you are making choices, but you're also making choices within a larger context. It's sort of like you're part of Earth, but you're also a part of something much larger than just Earth. You know, when you look out at this, uh, you know, just the few, 7, 9 or so planets that we have, and then you look at the Milky Way, and then you look at the universe. And, you know, so this— so while here we are on Earth making all these little choices, Earth is also being all handled by the same intelligence that moves everything about. And you have to live with both of those.

It really, it really is amazing, and it does work. I hope Sarah kind of takes that to heart, because, um, see, after listening to you every week, I do take your advice.

Oh good.

I'm gonna have to start charging for this, I think, Diane.

I don't know.

I know, we'll have to work that out, uh, some kind of fee. But I was having problems with my brother in a situation, like he's a jerk, this and that, and I said, no, no, I'm just going to keep sending him love, sending him love, and it did, it worked out. You know, our relationship is much better. So you think it's not, oh, this is too abstract, it really isn't going to work, but it really does.

No, it really does work, and it doesn't require you to go out and buy a bunch of presents and smell good and all of those kind of things. It's just, you're just a thought away from it. It's just, you know, it's really about taking a thought like anger. It's interesting, I'm reading the forward, I'm writing the forward to a book written by Jessica Scarlett Lewis, whose son Jesse was one of the children murdered at Newtown, Connecticut at Sandy Hook on December 14th of this past year. And so I'm reading her book. I've been reading it the last 2 days, and now I'm going to write the foreword to it. It's just a book that I really feel like I'm not even reading it. I'm just feeling it. It's so profound. And basically her message is to take any thought of anger, any thought that you have of anger. And she said she spoke to this— she went to a meeting shortly after the massacre, and a whole bunch of people then, they were all to talk about guns and ending the gun violence and so on. And she even said to her father, I don't think this is the appropriate place for me to be talking because I don't want to talk about guns and violence and hatred and all of that. And he said, you're exactly where you belong. You speak. And she went up and she spoke about to take— I want to— this is what my little boy was like. This was Jesse. He was just always turning angry things into positive things. He said, if we could just turn an angry thought into a thought of love, just do that. And she spoke to all of these people who were there to really get— they were really angry and wanted to talk more about guns and gun violence and, and so on, and where we can't get anything done with the Congress and so on, you know, to pass, you know, any kind of gun control measures and so on. And she said it's, it's really about changing our thoughts. It's about changing an angry thought to a loving thought. And, and we all have the capacity to be able to do that. It's a very, very tender book.

It'll be—

it's going to be published in August. I know I've got a deadline of this week to to get that foreword written. And if I can just dry my eyes long enough while I'm reading it—

that's what I've heard, the reaction.

I don't know if you've read it.

No, but just talking to the editor here, and, you know, Patty Gift, and she read it, and just everybody— they're like, people are walking in your office, why are you crying? You know, it's very moving.

I'm looking forward to it. The crying part is, is not so much about missing Jesse. It's, uh, it's the tenderness, the truth. It's the basic truth that when we can figure out a way to shift those thoughts of revenge and anger and hatred and rage into thoughts of love, and when one of us can do it, then another can do it, then ultimately we'll reach a critical mass and we'll reach that state where so many of us are aligned in love rather than in hate that people won't want to buy guns and they won't want to go out and kill people and they won't want to think in terms of enemies and so on. Think about how we can live together in harmony.

So, very true.

Okay, so let's go to— where should we go next? How about line 6 and Victoria in Missouri? And thanks for holding, Victoria.

My name is Victoria.

Hi, Victoria.

I don't know if the gentleman who answered the phone and asked my question made notes for you to see, or where I should—

no, no, I have seen nothing. I'm sitting here in Maui waiting to hear what Victoria wants to talk about.

Well, what I feel I need to talk about, precisely what's hindering me beginning, is focus. I guess I am going to be 54 years of age. I've felt old, I guess, since I was a child, not happy. I have 18 months sobriety. I've struggled with alcoholism since I was 13. Food addiction, cigarettes, dabbled in drugs and what have you. Basically kind of running, I believe, now from my essential self. June 14th, 2011, I was violently beaten and raped in this house that I reside in, occupy, my father's rental. And I am a minority in my neighborhood. I have a lot of struggles with that. But at that time, I was left alone in home for 2 months. Nobody came to see me. I had no access really to the outside world— transportation, money, phone, etc. But you, Dr. Dyer, were on PBS with Wishes Fulfilled, and I surrounded myself with your I Am statements. And I have been trying and trying. I participated as much as I could with the 110 hours. Louise's book, You Can Heal Your Life, has been in my life since 1987. And Hay House has, but, uh, since viewing you at that time, things have started to come together in my life, and there have been a tremendous amount of synchronicities, especially when I speak with you. And I am about to— ready to collapse. I'm so astonished I was able to get in on the line and speak with you, but I am so scattered, Dr. Dyer, and so fearful of falling down that slippery slope. I have had I've had years of sobriety in the past, but this has been taken from me and I'm trying to remove the obstacles in my life to proceed forward. I have children. I'm going to be a grandmother for the first time in August and I know that I can't do this for anyone and that it doesn't matter if people call me a hippie or schizophrenic or out there or whatever, that my journey is my own. I am trying, I'm staying stalwart and vigilant and I just wanted your help and guidance as to how to focus because I'm spinning and spiraling and I'm touching on everything, striking out as a fake and not—

Okay, let me react, Victoria, because we just have a few moments.

Yes, sir, thank you.

Yeah, I just, there's like, there's two Victorias been on this, just on this conversation. In the few minutes that I've listened to. One of the Victorias is someone that when she speaks, um, I— there's an aura of fear. And that's when you talk about your struggles and you talk about, uh, how, you know, how your sobriety was taken away from you, and you talk about, um, being raped and, um, you know, and, and, and put your focus on, uh, you know, so much of the negativity that has been a part of your life. And then there's the Victoria who is So present with, um, I am, you know, here you are, I am 18 months sober, you know, um, I am 18 months sober. In other words, I am sober versus I have always struggled with addictions. There's two different statements there. One is going to bring you back to addictions when you start, when you put your focus on, on the struggle and on the part that's difficult and on the part that doesn't work. But when you put yourself, when you say I am stalwart I am capable. I am scattered, but I am determined, and I'm going to run my own life, and it's mine no matter what labels that they put on me. They can put a label on me of crazy or schizophrenic or scattered or whatever, but I, you know, I know who I am. And what you want to do is constantly stay in touch with that inner you that is the strong one, has made that choice, because you are a sober, strong, woman. You are a mother, which means you have raised children. You're about to be a grandmother, and this is what it is that defines you. And yet you, you so, you so easily slip back into that world of fear. I'm afraid that it's going to be taken away from me. It can't be taken away from you, my dear Victoria. It can't be taken away from you. It's just a question of what choices that you are going to make in your life. And if you see yourself as a divine spark, as a piece of God, And you know that this is who you are. This is your origination. This is what you came from. This is what you return to. This is you. I've told the story on this radio show many times of Patti Davis, who's a friend of mine, who was President Reagan's daughter. And she had said to me that, you know, she had tried to give up drugs, cocaine particularly, but she had tried and tried and she was always afraid because she was so upset because she was disappointing her father, who was the President of the United States, and her mother, who was the First Lady of the United States, and, and her siblings, and even herself. And she said, I just, I always went back because I just, I was so tired of disappointing other people. She said, what got me off of it was when I no longer wanted to disappoint God, when I realized that who I am is a piece of God, and that the highest place within me does not want me to be retreating back into any world of dependency and fear and sadness and and all of those labels. And all of those experiences that you've had have been just these great teachers for you. Just, that's the theme of this show, you know, that every single thing that happens in our life, every person that comes in, is part of this teaching process. And so, you know, I'm— you're talking to someone who's 25 years without any alcohol in his body, and I look back on the days of drinking as my greatest teachers, as something that was very, very important and profound for me. So that Be aware, Victoria, of this sort of the split that you have between the person who is thinking about who they are in terms of how much fear that they have had and also the fear that they'll return to it versus the person who says, I am strong, I am stalwart, I am capable, I am running my life, this is my show, I'm going to do it my way. And, you know, whatever anybody else thinks about it is— and, and I'm going to do it sober and I'm going to do it And as you do that, you said to me that you watched Wishes Fulfilled and you started noticing that there were changes that were taking place. And these changes, whatever they are, begin to show up in your life when you get yourself realigned. Basically, when you're doing alcohol or drugs, or when you're, you know, in anger or in rage or in bad relation, whatever it is, and you're filled with hate, it's— you're really just misaligned. That's really all it is. You came in from this place of love. You were connected to this place of love as an infant. You know, your infancy, you were surrounded by, you know, your connection to God and love. And then we grow, we take on these egos and we pull away, we pull away. And ultimately now you're returning. You're returning to your source of being without having to leave your body. And you're on your way, kiddo. You're going to do great.

Well, I really appreciate that. And you are correct. I do rely on my soul. Of course God has seen to strip me of my outer beauty and my outer possessions and my children and things. So now I have to rely on myself and glue my tooth back in, put a smile on my face, and ignore the pain and the suffering in my body because my head is in the right place now.

My body— Right.

Your body will—

Yeah, your body will follow. I just read a book, it's called The Art of Racing in the Rain, and it's a book written by a dog, or at least it's through the eyes of a dog, and he's watching his master, and his master is a race car driver. And one of the things that the dog observes about the race car driver is this, he says, your car goes where your eyes go. That's like the rule.

I heard that, I'm sorry.

That's the rule. That's the rule of the road for a race car driver. Your car goes where your eyes go.

You know, so in other words, you could keep— you keep your eye on the track where you want your car to go. You don't put your eye back there where you've been before, you know, otherwise you're going to crash.

And the metaphor for this for you, Victoria, is that your eyes are your vision for you, for the Victoria, and your car is your body, you know. And so your body will go where your vision goes. If your vision goes to, I am healthy, I am God, I am well, I am divine, you will attract that kind of energy and you will find yourself, you know, having whatever guidance and assistance that you need. If your thoughts are on, I am sad, I am depressed, I am poor, I am unattractive, I am unworthy, then you— the universe doesn't— can't make a distinction between that thought and what's going on in your real life. And says to you, so if that's what you're thinking about us, how unhappy you are and how unattractive you are and how addicted you are, then you must need experiences that will match up to that, and here's some more of them. And you'll continuously get that kind of energy flowing at you. With, on the other hand, if your inner mantra is, I am well, I am sober, I am strong, I am capable, I am attractive, I am beautiful, and you don't let anything detract you from that, That's the energy. Then the universal subconscious mind says, oh, so you are attractive, so you are worthwhile, so you are beautiful, so you are strong, so you are sober. Here's our experiences that match up to that. And you'll be around people like that and circumstances, and, and the right things will show up as you keep your alignment with your source of being. And that's really what it's about, sweetheart. And I want to thank you for calling. And it was interesting when Diane was saying, now where should we go next?

And I was thinking, she thinks that she's making this decision, you know, because she's got the board there and she gets to push the button and all that.

But the fact is, Victoria, that you— you know, Diane picked you, uh, and I talked to you, and all because this is a part of your new alignment. And you were the one who was supposed to hear what we had today, and probably other hundreds of thousands of others will benefit from it as well.

So thank you so much. I much would— I would have much I prefer to speak with you than about my cat that I've kicked out.

Well, love your cat as well. I just read another book written by a cat called The Dalai Lama's Cat, which is a very interesting book. Have you seen that, Diane? I did.

I read it. It was one of our Hay House book club picks.

Oh, was it?

Yes, I love it.

Yeah, I read that last week. So I read a book written by a dog and a cat.

I'm a big cat lover, so I really enjoyed it too. So we have probably time for one more call, definitely. So let's go to Vancouver and go to Janice on line 1. And Janice, you've been so patient. Thanks for holding.

Thanks, Diane. Hello, Dr. Dyer. I'm gonna—

Hi, Janice.

I'm gonna remind you of our call in April. We sang I Can See Clearly Now together.

Do you remember?

Oh my goodness, of course I do.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.

Do you remember what you said at the end of the call? You said, "Come and meet me at I Can Do It," and I said, "I will, and I'll give you a really nice, gentle healing hug," and you said, "Oh, forget that. I want you to throw me down on the carpet and I want you to say, 'You are healed.'" Well, we both laughed, and, you know, but my imagination kind of ran with that, and you empowered me to help you with that call. And so anyway, lots of friends listened to this show and had a good laugh at my singing with you and said that they enjoyed it. One of my friends said, well, when you meet him, are you going to invite him out for karaoke? And I said, you know what, I have been sending him so much love, so much healing love. I'm imagining him feeling so well when he's here. When I meet him, I'm going to invite him out He's gonna feel like going dancing is what I said to her, and that came out so spontaneously. Well, do you remember being on the stage in Vancouver? First of all, you started to walk and you were getting these looks on your face, and finally you shared with the audience, I can't believe my back is feeling so much better. I'm shaking as I'm talking because I felt like I was witnessing a miracle after a little bit you said. You started dancing around the stage and I hobbled over there to that stage.

When was that?

When was that?

What date was that?

That was April 20th or 21st, something like that.

I could hardly walk at that time. I had had such a hard time.

I was just loving you, watching you. I felt like I had a string tied to you and I was just sending love to you.

I wanted you to feel well here and I just kept smiling. I could tell you were moving with more mobility and then you said, I feel so good, I feel like dancing, and I just lost it.

The two women next to me, I had to write them little notes.

I'm okay, I'm just having— I'm witnessing a miracle here. And, you know, we talk about the power of I am, and we know that, but when you affirm somebody with you are, you know, with pure love, and that's what I did for you. You are feeling better. I imagined it, I imagined it, and I just sent so much love your way, and I just think when we're wondering what we can do for people around the world, when we hear of these horrible stories and just say, "You are loved," you know, there's power in that, too. And I think when we feel so helpless about situations— I, knowing you've got all this to do in the world and your back is bothering you so much and giving you so much pain, and I just, I just want you to feel great and light and mobile and well. So I send you love every time I think of you.

I send you love and Oh, thank you, sweetheart. I even feel your energy right now. It's Janice, right?

Is that right?

Yeah, J-A-N-I-C-E. And we share some lineage. I learned from listening to the— during the summit in your talk, and I love Reed so much. Please say hi to him for me.

Yeah, I will.

He's the greatest, isn't he?

Oh, he's the greatest. He's just the greatest.

He's just the greatest.

So anyway, when you shared about being of the MacMillan lineage, And then I looked at the picture online of you standing in the tartan. That's my surname. And I—

Is it really? MacMillan?

Yeah.

I just went, okay, this is why we have a synchronicity.

We go way back.

No wonder. You're my sister, or maybe you're a wife. Who knows? You know? I'm still looking forward to being thrown on the carpet by you. I don't care what anyone says.

Dr. Dyer, I am coming to Maui. I'm not going to figure out the how today.

Oh, good.

Sign up.

But I am coming to Maui.

You hear me?

Get signed up. The funding will show up. I love you, dear. Love you too, Janice. God bless you and God bless everyone today.

What a great way to wrap things up. Love from Vancouver. Yeah, feels good.

Thanks for joining us. What is this, she's calling to tell me Reid is the greatest? We're gonna have to, I'm gonna have to talk to Reid about this.

Welcome, Dr. Dyer. You're joining us again from Florida today and hopefully it's a lot nicer there than it is here in Southern California. We're getting a ton of rain today, which we actually really need.

Oh my goodness, we always say in Maui, no rain, no rainbows. We're always very grateful for the rain. I always think of rain as one of the great miracles of all. It's like every time it happens, people complain, but without it, none of us could even stay alive for a day. So it's just, it's always an amazing gift that all of a sudden, just everything, this mana from heaven just showers down on us from the skies and says, here's what you need to sustain yourself. Here's what you're made of. Here's what your earth is made of. This will grow all your food. This will take care of all your thirst. This will take care of everything. And I love the rain. I love to be in it and walk around it.

And we've got some great callers coming in. I'm noticing a lot of people from Canada today, several Canadian callers, Ontario, Quebec. So let's start with that. Would you like to go to Montreal?

I'd love to.

Let's check it out. Roxandra on line 1, welcome to the show. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer today.

Thank you.

Hi, Roxandra.

I can't believe it, I'm the first one.

You are.

How are you?

So today it worked out well.

How am I?

I wish I knew how to answer this question, but I could say It could be better, but I'm okay.

Uh-huh.

Well, that's good.

I wish I knew a bit more because I'm kind of stuck in a rut work-wise. Uh-huh. I mean, not only work-wise, but the work aspect is one of the, the one that bothers me most because I don't know what to do with my life and find my life purpose. So I have been back to school for almost 9 years now, and I'm I'm in the middle of a PhD that I don't know if I would finish. So that's a big—

That's not an unusual place for people in PhD programs. You get to a point where you ask yourself, what am I doing and what am I putting myself through this for?

Right, but it's like context-wise. My supervisor died last year. From the beginning, I thought I didn't belong there. Initially, I was rejected. I had to reapply. And although the topic, it's really interesting because I thought it's— I took it more like a mission. I said, I know I don't want to work in academia for sure. Why am I going through this one? It's very difficult too. So anyway, that's why I'm like, I don't want to do it unless I'm able to say I don't— I'm not going to regret it. I don't regret what I've done so far. But this year I'm really kind of— I don't know, maybe I needed to grieve because I had a few losses several years, like up to 2 or 3. And maybe I'm very, very tired, so I did kind of, it's in between, like it's kind of a transition, but I'm not a step further to figure out what's next for me. I have some areas, but I don't know how to package myself and how really to trust that I can do something.

Well, you really do know how, because no one can teach it to you, especially now. How old are you?

49 last week.

Yeah, so you're almost half a century, 50 times around the sun, you pretty much know how to do it, Roxanne. The fact is that you've just been trained with a bunch of memes to believe that, you know, things have to be a certain way and that you have to do things the way, you know, that you programmed yourself to do them or someone else programmed you to do them. You get into a program and then you start asking questions about, is this where I belong? Should I be doing this? I don't know. And the fact is, all of it is just not even worth the agony that you put yourself through.

Yeah, probably not.

It really isn't. The truth is that all you get is today. You know, we all know that. This is, you know, you get the present moment, you get the now. If you can learn how to live fully and completely and totally in the present moment and just be there in this moment, realizing that the now is all you ever get, you know, and that the future thing that you're all worried about is nothing more than just a now, and everything that's ever happened to you in the past, it didn't really happen to you in the past, it happened to you in the present moment. So that your relationship to life, and this is what I would say to everybody listening today, your relationship to life is really nothing more than your relationship to the present moment, how well you're able to live in it. And if you can find a way to go within, to get peaceful, to meditate, to get quiet, and that's why I always say the best way to handle all of these kinds of questions that we have for ourselves is to get our attention off of ourselves, off of our ego, off of what's in it for me, and off what I should be doing, and me, me, me, all of the I, I, I stuff. And just turn it around and begin to serve more. It's what I do all the time when I feel myself struggling, when I don't know quite what to do, even in relationships or with my work or whatever, is I just stop and I go through my mail and I pick out some letters from people who really are struggling or really are having a difficult time, and I reach out to them. And every time that I find myself letting go of thinking about myself and putting my attention on someone else, almost always I start to feel better, the answers become clearer, And I don't get myself so worked up and into a dither over what I should be doing or what I shouldn't be doing. You know, it's like I used to always quote from my friend Artie Pine, who was my agent many, many years ago. He passed away a few years back, and he used to say, I'm an old man and I've had many troubles, most of which have never happened. That's true. Almost all of them.

Yeah, I'm a good worrier, unfortunately. It's a learned, I know, a part of it is a lot learned, but I'm very good at worrying. Which is not healthy, obviously, and I kind of in between this space, like struggling, stop worrying, and then beating myself up for it. And the problem is that I tried meditation and I am not able to maintain a routine. I mean, I know how to meditate, I mean, at least one type, because I have tried it, it worked at one point, but then even when I try to do yoga or something, like if I do it at home, I do it 2 or 3 days and then I move to something else. Get distracted with other things, and I know that would be one of the solutions to really— and part of the problem was that in the beginning, that's how I stopped it, was I cannot stand to see my thoughts. It's so annoying. It's like, I can't believe I'm thinking so much.

I know. I can hear it even in your voice, and you say to yourself, okay, I try yoga and I do it for 2 or 3 days and then I lose interest in it. But what's wrong with that?

I think that's the bottom line, to realize there's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with that at all. And so you let for a few days and then you wake up one day and you say, I think I'll do yoga again. And you know, it's like we all get conditioned with these, I call them memes in Excuses Be Gone. Have you read Excuses Be Gone?

No, no, I haven't.

I really think you should read that. It would be very, very helpful to you. It's about overcoming all of these lifetime thinking habits. And the display quote for that book says, don't believe everything that you think. You know, I mean, because you've been conditioned to think that you're supposed to be on the right track. You're almost 50 years old. You should know what you're doing. You should know where you're going. You're in a program. You should finish the program. You know, you should have You should, and there's no should about any of that. All you have to do is just enjoy yourself, and the best way to enjoy yourself and to be happy is to forget about yourself and reach out and serve other people. That's the greatest way to find your happiness. That's what I would recommend truly, especially with the holiday season coming up.

Yeah, I mean, it's on my list, and it's just that I have to move it and act on it, 'cause I said, oh, I have to go volunteer somewhere. I have to, I have to. I was too busy with my little selfish things. Absolutely, too much ego, too much ego.

Too much worry, too much concern about myself and what's in it for me and am I doing the right thing? And we could trace that back to your parents and their parents and their parents' parents.

Yeah, but it doesn't help anymore because I'm tired of understanding. I've overanalyzed everything and I want to move on.

Absolutely. My friend Stuart Wilde has a, you know, we used to have a thing down on a refrigerator. He used to say, there are many things in life that I do not understand and I like it that way.

Yeah.

You don't have to understand it.

Well, I'm not sure I will ever let go of that 100%, but I want to keep that learner part.

Give yourself permission to just be, you know, listen to the Beatles, you know, go listen to the Let It Be. Let it be, there will come an answer. Let it be. It's one of the great slogans of all time. Just, you know, stop the struggling, the internal stuff that you do with your mind, and just enjoy. You watch, everything that you need will come along. We got to move along. I'm going to send you a copy of The Shift, so stay tuned, okay?

Thank you very much, Dr. Wayne.

Thank you, Roxanne. Happy holidays.

Bye. Happy holidays.

And we'll get Roxandra a DVD copy, send her one out to Quebec. And we've got 2 minutes, maybe time to get started with someone really quickly. So let's go to Judy. She's also calling from Canada, from Ontario, and wants to know about self-sabotaging. A great question. Welcome, Judy.

Hi.

Hi, Judy.

Thank you for taking my call. And Dr. Dyer, I want to thank you for all of the work that you do. It's just awesome stuff, and it's really helped me a lot.

Thank you very much.

My question today, though, is— you only have 2 minutes, so I'll be very quick.

No, that's okay. We can always come back if we have to.

That's okay.

Every time I start to move forward with anything that I want to do that I'm excited about, but in particular weight loss, I start to get body problems. Like right now, I've really decided to take the next level towards being fit and healthy, and my back goes out, so the things that I plan to do, I can't do. I can't do, and it's not that it's going out because I'm not doing exercises properly, it's even before I get started. So I'm wondering, what is in your head, like I've been reading Excuses Be Gone and it's not a conscious thought, it just sort of happens, and I'm wondering what is that self-sabotage somewhere in those memes that—

That's a really good question because I know I do the same thing myself. As a matter of fact, I was just telling Diane, both of us were talking about having a lower back pain, themselves today.

Well, maybe it's just going around then.

No, I don't think that it's going around as much as I think that when you set yourself up to do something that you haven't done, haven't been able to do for a long time— like, how long have you been not in the weight level that you would like to be? How long has it been overweight? How many?

10 years.

So you got 10 years, you got a whole decade behind you of carrying around excess. How much extra weight?

About 160 at this point.

160 extra?

Yeah.

Okay, basically you're saying that you're self-up with a goal or an ambition of some kind to get yourself back into the kind of shape that you know you belong in and that is your birthright, and that as soon as you make the commitment to do that, something goes, something goes awack and off you go. You're listening to someone who was, who has been an addict for a good part of his life, or at least part of addictive behaviors. As a kid, it was to Coca-Cola and sugar, and then it was to nicotine, and then it was to alcohol. And drugs and things like this, and so I know the game, all right? And when you want to change something like an addictive pattern, and you're talking about an addiction to food here, obviously, because you're saying you're carrying around an extra 160 pounds. That's another person and a half. That's an extra person that you're carrying around, and you know all of the dangers of doing such a thing to your body. And you want to make the change. And when I wanted to make the change to stop drinking, Coca-Cola, for example, when I wanted to stop with the caffeine, or when I wanted to stop with the nicotine, or stop with the alcohol and so on, I would find myself that there's a sabotaging system built into addictive behavior. And this sabotaging system is one that really— because I think that the things like sugar, which is one of the things you're addicted to, I can feel it, is something that has— is an entity all unto itself, and it has almost a design on you, and it begins to speak to you in a certain way, and it begins to say to yourself— you, you begin to say, well, I'm going I'm going to overcome this, you know, this overeating thing, this lack of exercising thing. And the entity, whether it's cocaine or whether it's sugar or caffeine or whether it's alcohol or whatever it might be, almost speaks back to you and says, you think it's going to be that easy? You think I'm going to let go of you quite like that?

And that's how it feels.

Pardon me?

That's how it feels.

Yeah, I don't believe that it's just how it feels. I believe that's true, okay? I believe that it does. Like everything in the universe has an energy system. System. Cocaine is an energy system. Caffeine is an energy system. And it's like, and there's just little pieces of it, but there's one great big energy system, and it's showing up in all kinds of ways. So that when you set yourself up to go ahead and do what it is that you really want to do, and you start talking to yourself in the right way, and having the right affirmations, and doing all the kinds of things that we speak about here on A House Radio, and that I speak about in my book, in many of my books and in the film and so on, what happens is that that self-sabotaging system begins to kick in and it begins to say, you know, if you think that's going to be easy, then I'm going to take this away from you. I'm going to make it more difficult for you to— and what you have to do, Judy, more than anything else, is connect to your highest self. And the highest place within you is really God. And so it's like, instead of saying— I've quoted this a few times on the show— my friend Patti Davis, who was President Reagan's daughter, who was was, if you know anything about her, was a cocaine addict. Well, Reagan was president and had a terrible relationship with her father and with her mother and so on. And she used to say, I'm gonna quit this, but I'm gonna stop disappointing myself. I'm so tired of disappointing myself. And every time she would do that, again, something would come in and she would sabotage herself and she'd go back on another binge. And before you know it, she'd be right back where she started. And then she said she finally came to a place in her heart where she said, I just decided that I no longer wanted to disappoint God. And I think this is something that you might wanna think about really hard. You came into this world from a place of well-being, from a place of perfect well-being. You didn't come into this world obese. You didn't come into this world with any inclinations towards obesity or towards carrying around all of this extra weight that you have allowed to pile onto yourself. What you did is you came into a place aligned with God, aligned with your spirit, and you allowed yourself to get away from your spirit. I recommend that you get back and say to yourself, I no longer intending to disappoint God, when you behave in a certain way or when you go to church or so on. I'm talking about the highest place within yourself, the place that you originated from, your source of being. And that is who you are at the very highest level. You're not here as a human being having a spiritual experience. It's the reverse, Judy. You are a spiritual being, a spiritual being having a human experience. And that spiritual part of yourself, you have disappointed it and you're sad about it. And so every time you go to get yourself back into that aligned place, this energy whether it's the sugar or whether it's the sitting around or whether it's the sore back or whatever, it begins to kick in and to try to get you off of that path because you've been so accustomed to being on a non-spiritual path. So what you want to do is when the backache comes and all of that, you say, that's fine, but I'm still not going to overeat today, and I'm still going to walk around the block even though I said I wouldn't. I'm going to even do it with a sore back. In other words, I'm going to talk back to these self-sabotaging lifetime thinking habits that I have had, and I'm going to talk back to them in a way that they've never been talked to before. I'm going to remind myself and go through the paradigm. Have you read Excuses Be Gone?

Yes, I have it on my desk still.

Yeah, good.

I still look at it all the time.

Okay, the 7-part paradigm at the end of that book, with the first question is, what thoughts do I have? Is it true that it's going to be difficult for me to change? Is it true that it's going to take me a long time? Is it true that I don't have the I don't have the strength to do this. And you begin to realize that those thoughts simply are not true. You're letting yourself be guided by false statements, false thoughts within yourself. And as you begin to make that shift into the truer statement, which is, I have within me the capacity to be the perfect well-being person that I was intended to be, and you hang on to that affirmation consistently, when the backache comes, you'll just ignore the backache. You know, when you say I'm too tired, you'll ignore the tiredness. When your schedule changes and it just seems like you were all ready to go do your exercise, You'll do your exercise before you go to bed. You'll sleep a little bit less, whatever it might be. You'll start to use the discipline that you have, that your spirit is speaking to you of, instead of the part of you, the ego part of you, which is always looking for some reason to stay and do the easiest thing. Does that make sense?

It makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

You're very welcome. And you can do this. You really can do this. Keep in touch with me, okay? I'd like to hear your progress on this. Because once you have an affirmation, I'm going to be writing a book called Wishes Fulfilled, and it's really based on the, on the great teachings of Neville Goddard. And Neville speaks about the power of assuming, you know, your imagination is the greatest gift that you've been given. In your imagination, you see yourself weighing and looking the way you want to. You even draw a picture of yourself looking, or to find the picture of yourself from 10 years ago when you were the weight that you wanted to be, and you reproduce that as many places as you can. And you put it in your car, you put it on your refrigerator, you put it on your bed, you put it on your mirror where you put your makeup on. You have that picture everywhere to constantly remind yourself that who I am is this divine, perfect piece of well-being that I originated from, and that's where I intend to stay. And God will help you do it, I promise.

That's an awesome idea. I never thought of doing that.

Yeah, start with it right now. And when we hang up the phone, you know, you got a backache.

Yes.

You know, where are you, in Ontario?

Yes.

Okay, so put your warmer clothes on, whatever it is, and go— just if you'll do this for me, just walk around the block.

Okay, I don't need warmer clothes. I have 160 extra pounds.

Okay, can you walk around the block? Just walk around the block once today.

Okay.

Okay, just go do that and try to walk briskly, no matter how much your back hurts. Just do that.

Okay.

And now you've taken your first step. But before you do that, we're going to give you an address and we're going to send you a copy of the show.

Okay, thank you so much.

Thanks, Judy. God bless you, my friend.

You too.

Namaste.

And let's go to Mandy next. She's calling from Orange, California on line 4. And thanks for joining us, Mandy. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

Mandy, there's a minister handy, and it sure would be dandy if we let him make a peace. Do you remember that?

No, I don't.

So don't you linger, here's a ring for your finger. For Mandy and me. Okay, that's a song to look up. How are you, dear?

I'm doing okay.

Good.

Um, I'm calling because my husband has decided that he no longer wants to be married. We have two small children, and it's sort of come out of nowhere, and I need to know how I can handle this gracefully and not react with anger because we have children and we need to be friends, and I don't know if I can do that.

Or—

yes, you can do that, dear. Yes, you can do that. Has this been something that's been coming on, or is it a big surprise to you?

It was a really big surprise. I mean, we're not perfect, you know. We've, we've kind of taken each other for granted over time, but I never realized he was so unhappy. He's never shared that. He's been stuffing his feelings rather than telling me how he feels, and, and it got too much for him to handle, and then he just snapped and just said, I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore.

Is he seeing someone else?

I've asked him and I don't believe that's the case. He says no, he's not where he thought he would be. He doesn't feel like the man he should be. He doesn't feel like he's providing for us financially the way he should be by this point in his life. And he's just— I feel like he has a lot of self-esteem issues that he's reacting like he's running. I'm not sure, I don't, I don't understand it.

How old is he?

He's 34.

And how long have you been married?

We've been married almost 9 years.

And your reaction is, I mean, as far as you're being able to handle this, yes. I mean, you sound rational. You sound like, you know, you have to be friends, that you can't, uh, you know, and divorce isn't that uncommon a thing. Like, every other marriage ends in it in our country, so it's not like, uh, half the people in the country are failures, you know. It's not that you failed at anything. You've produced a result, but the question is, where are you emotionally in this thing? You're the mom of two little children.

Well, I don't want it to end. I think that we have such a good foundation and we've been friends for so long and together for so long that I want to work at it and he doesn't. He can't do that. And so I feel like if we end this without trying to get counseling, that it's, it's throwing it away. Yeah, like I'm asking him, you know, 6 months, let's try it for 6 months, and if you can't change, I'll let you go. I'll let you go do what you need to do, but to just, to just up and walk out on it, it doesn't— I don't understand that.

It doesn't sound right to me, Mandy. It really does.

He's not leaving the home. He, you know, he, he wants to— I can't afford our home by myself, but he wants to make sure that financially I'm still able to stay in our house for the girls, even if that means he has to live at his parents. And so I don't really understand what he's doing. He— it feels like he has guilt and self-esteem issues and I don't know when he left the show.

It feels, and I'm just talking instinctively here, but it feels to me like he's been seeing somebody else, and that's a hard thing for him to be able to admit to and doesn't want to. I'm just telling you that off the top of my head, that's what registers. I don't know that it's true or not, and I have no right to say it other than it's just what I feel, and that's how I run this radio show.

And it's not the first time I've heard it either, so.

Yeah, have you had any suspicion of anything like that in the last 6 months or so?

He has like a best friend that, that he's really close to, but she's a lesbian. And so, I mean, I've met her girlfriends and we've spent time together.

No, I don't mean that. I mean, has he stayed away from you sexually, for example, in the last 6 months or so?

No.

No?

No.

So you still have a physical closeness?

We aren't now, not for the last couple of weeks. Because I told him, I said, if this is what you want, we can't lead one life not the other because I will think that you wanna be with me. I'll misunderstand that. And so we cut it off. He's staying in the home, he's sleeping on the sofa. We haven't told our children yet. We haven't told our family. He doesn't have a plan for what he wants to do and that makes me confused too. Why wouldn't he have a plan?

This is what he's wanting. [Speaker] Well, what I want you to do, Maddy, what I want you to do, 'cause we only have a few minutes here, what I want you to do is to go within and I want you to meditate and get quiet and I want you to find the strength that has allowed you to give birth to those two girls of yours, and that has allowed you to hold this family together and has allowed you to, you know, be the woman, the strong woman that you are, and stay in that strength and begin to realize and recognize that, you know, whether or not you're with your husband or not with your husband, that your sense of your strength and your peace and your confidence in yourself is not going to be determined on the basis of anything that he does.

Okay?

Okay. He doesn't get control of that. He doesn't get to decide whether or not you're going to be this strong, you know, a powerful woman. Now, my personal recommendation— I'm doing this on just a few minutes of talking to you— would be to tell him, if you really don't want to be married to me, then you should be leaving right now, and you should be making arrangements to take care of your family and to financially make sure that we're all in good shape. Are you working? Yeah, you are. So if that's really where you want to be, and let him experience what this feels like, you know, because it's, it's one thing that he may be going through a you know, some kind of a midlife crisis, or he might be going through some kind of a difficulty. I suspect of something else, but regardless of what my suspicions are, let him experience what this— what, what it feels like. I just don't think living in limbo is, is going to be a healthy thing for you or for the children.

I'm sorry, that's what I was thinking too.

He wants to wait until after the holidays so that we don't disrupt the children, you know, and, and the timing is so bad that I think what I would offer to your husband is like, I want to save this marriage and, uh, it's very important to me, but if you don't feel the same way then obviously, you know, it can't be done just by one person. If we need to seek out counseling or marriage therapy of some kind, I'd be happy to participate. If you're not willing to do that and you made up your mind that you want to, that you want to end this marriage, then I'm inviting you to leave today. And we'll set up a legal arrangement so that you take care of your financial responsibilities, and we'll move on with our lives. And let him see what the consequences of the that are, because if it's not this holiday season, there's going to be another holiday season. And I think putting those things on hold— I think letting him know the consequences of his behavior and what he is asking, the consequences of that, especially with two small children, are very, very serious. And he needs to know it, that he doesn't have someone who's sitting at home waiting for him to make up his mind whether he wants to work on this or not. Okay, does that make sense to you?

Completely.

Yeah, yeah, and you sound like a strong woman. I wouldn't be afraid of this at all, you know. How is your relationship to your children?

It's wonderful.

And how about, you know, how about his relationship to them?

He's been disconnected for a while, and I think it goes back to his self-esteem issues. He loves them, he's a great father, but he doesn't give them everything that— he has a lot of distractions. He uses his laptop and his phone to keep himself busy. Yeah, so he has a lot of like self-esteem issues he doesn't want to face.

But you don't need to be buried in his self-esteem issues, okay?

Yeah.

That's, uh, I mean, if he's got that to work on and you're willing to work on it with him, that's one thing. But for you to sit around and be sad inside and worry, it's, uh, that's— it's not going to do any, any good for you or anyone else. And he needs— as I said, when people make these kinds of assertions and they come at you, then they need to know the consequences of their behavior. And these are the consequences, you know. You're, you're giving up your your children. You're giving up your role as father. You're giving up your role as a husband. If you want to work on it, I'm here for you. If you don't, then you need to get out there and, and work on it yourself, and I'll be fine.

Okay.

Okay, sweetheart.

Thank you so much.

Have you seen The Shift?

I haven't.

We're going to send you a copy.

Okay.

I'm guessing it's going to be very helpful.

I think it will be. I'm sure it will be.

Thank you.

Namaste.

And we have time for one more, the bonus call that we never think we have time for, right? And let's go to Deborah, line 3, calling from New York. Hi, Deborah. Is Wayne still there? Thanks for holding.

Yes.

Hi, Deborah.

Hi, Wayne. I am so thrilled. I feel so blessed to be able to speak with you.

Thank you. I do too.

I have been a fan of yours since your erroneous zones.

My goodness.

Back when I was a young adult.

You're an old person like me now then.

Yes, well, I'm 53.

Oh, you're just a baby.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think we're all babies in the soul.

That's true.

So Wayne, I have a rather unique situation. I recently retired from the NYPD where I was a sergeant for over 25 years, right? And so I have devoted my life to service. And the last few years I got certified in executive coaching and leadership training, and I thought that would be my second career. I have had this incredible desire to set up a foundation for returning military members who are coming back from active duty and to help reacclimate them to civilian life, help them get a start with counseling, maybe some job fairs. And it's a very strong desire. I think of it all the time. So what I'm planning on doing is writing a book on leadership and, you know, using the coaching method of leadership to help people. Because in paramilitary organizations like the NYPD and like the military, you bark out an order, you expect it to be followed or else there's negative consequences. Whereas the coaching method is to really identify the individual, find out what it is that makes them want to participate and speak to that. So I'm looking to do that and to set up this foundation. I retired in April, I started writing the book, and I have just lost complete motivation. I find myself just letting it all fall by the wayside.

Yeah, I'd like you to go— you're in New York?

Yes.

So maybe tonight you could go out and see this film called Brothers.

Okay.

Have you seen it?

No.

Have you heard about it?

I saw commercials on TV.

Yeah, it's about returning servicemen. It was made for you, so that will be a good thing to get started with. Just see if you can find out where it's playing and go see that. And again, it's like what we were talking about throughout this whole show. It's like the theme has been to take some kind of action, any kind of action, specific action. Because what happens is, and this is again, it goes back to when I write about it in Excuses Be Gone, we fall back into our habitual self-sabotaging ways. Once we get an idea, we think that it's good, It's great and all of that, and we put it out there and we start, and then we start to lose interest because everything isn't falling into place or because God isn't just putting it right into our lap and saying, "Here it is for you." For you, I think just reinvigorating yourself with the notion of how important this is, and then find one returning service member in your neighborhood. Somebody— are you in New York City or New York State? Yes. Yeah, you're in New York City, so you shouldn't have any difficulty with that.

No, not at all.

You should be able to find a veteran. And just bring one person person, uh, over to your house that you can start coaching. Okay, um, whoever it might be, somebody that's come home from— if you can't, then you can go over to one of the military hospitals.

I put out on my website and ask for everybody who tunes into my website to send me the excuses that you use most commonly in your life. As I sat down to write this book, this is the third chapter in Excuses Be Gone, and I got 5,500 replies. And my friend and I started just taking them apart and just putting them into different— this is the same as this, this is the same as this. And sure enough, there were 18 categories. And so there are 18 excuse categories. On the PBS special, you see them as thought bubbles that'll come up when it plays on June 1st. I'll just give them to you real quickly. And I want you to understand now, these are all viruses. These are all things that were placed into your mind that you have come to believe that have infiltrated and spread throughout your culture. There are cultural ways of thinking that do not hold up to any of the components of the Excuses Be Gone paradigm, that if you begin to practice it, you can change it, whatever it is. I'd like you to think, particularly those of you who are closet addicts in here, and closet eaters as well, I'd like you to just say Sit right now and just visualize that tomorrow you can be free of it. Tomorrow. Easily. Easily. And everything that you need, and everyone that you need, and whatever money you need, all of it will begin to show up for you. You can make that shift. Tomorrow. You're free of it. That's how powerful this is. I've seen it work. It will be difficult. Excuse. It will be risky. It will take a long time. There will be family drama if I do this. So I don't do it. I don't deserve it. It's not my nature. I can't afford it. You should never, ever, ever say the words, I can't afford it, and use money as a reason why you can't attract into your life what you want. Of course there is money out there for you. You just haven't connected to it. You've got to have within you an understanding that that is simply an explanation that keeps you from doing what it is that you want to do. You can afford to go to college.

You can afford to travel.

You can afford to get anything that you want in your life to make your life work at the level that you want to. You can afford it. The money is out there.

The capacity for making it, attracting it into your life is within you.

But if you believe that what I'm saying is not true, you're right. And that's a meme. That's a mind virus.

You've already accepted and you haven't challenged whether or not the thought that you are thinking that you can't afford it is true or not.

How many in this room have ever had the experience of believing that you couldn't afford to do something and you went home and suddenly an unexpected bonus had showed up in some way in your life?

A tax refund, somebody sent you money, whatever, you found it, whatever.

How many people have had that experience at one time or another in your life?

Look around. Everybody's had that experience. It's a universal experience. And yet you convince yourself that it can't happen for you. Why would you continue with that thought?

I'm getting ahead of myself.

All right.

No one will help me.

There's 7 billion people on the planet. They all want to help you. Almost all of them are looking to help somebody. And you're convinced that there's nobody out there that will help you with what it is that you want to do or what your dream is.

I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm too old or too young. The rules won't let me.

It's just too big. I don't have the energy.

My family history won't let me.

I'm too busy. I'm scared. It's a shift that has only come upon me even since I finished Excuses Be Gone.

But I managed to get a big hunk of it in because I added it because it came later after it had been submitted, and I said, "I gotta put this in here." But it's even much more detailed for me now. The greatest gift that you have been given is your imagination. In your imagination, in your thoughts, you have the ability to be able to create anything you want for yourself in your life. Anything in your thoughts.

Would you agree with that?

That you can think and create an image of what it is that you would like to be able to create. So the first, I'm reading somebody called, named Neville. How many have ever heard of Neville? A few, maybe 25, 30 people out of 2,500. Neville was like an itinerant preacher.

He died in 1972.

He used to lecture out here on the West Coast in Los Angeles, and it's Neville Goddard, but he just went by the name Neville. And he's written several books. You can find him on the internet. He wrote something called The Power of Awareness, which is, I don't have it, Hay House is going to have it. He's passed away. His daughter Victoria has put out some of it, but it's available and we're going to put it out there. Because it's one of those little books that I've read 5 times now. And I'm not exaggerating. I've read it 5 times. I read it on the flight over here from Maui yesterday. It's not long, 120 pages or so. But you can read a paragraph 40 times. And you can just be zowed by it. You can be wowed by it when you contemplate what it is that is being said here and whether it— and I keep thinking my experience in writing has always been to take what some people think of as complicated like the Tao and quantum physics and things like that, and to just present it in a way that the cab drivers can understand it and that school teachers can understand it and that all of us, all of us regular folks can get. And that's what I want to do with Neville. And I'm going to write a book about it, not this year, but next year. And I've already got the COVID for it and I've already got it sitting on my table. Literally, I do. It's called Wishes Fulfilled. And it's, it's, um, I wrote a book years ago called Manifest Your Destiny. That's like elementary school compared to what this is. And I just want to give you just a little touch of it in the next few minutes. It starts like I take 7 principles that you have to sort of get if you want to apply the excuses be gone paradigm.

And these 7 principles, I'm not going to go through all of them.

I'm just going to go through a couple of them.

The first one is contemplation.

And I've talked about contemplation before. Aristotle said that contemplation is the highest form of action, that it's action, that what you think about is what you become. And that, but it's even more than that. And I wrote out the specifics from Neville of it. I'm just going to go through a few of them here. I did this on the PBS show as well.

Contemplation is the continuous use of your thought process.

Process.

Like, what do you contemplate? What do you think about?

How do you use your mind?

Remember now, I started this by saying that the greatest gift that you've ever been given is the gift of your imagination.

That you can create for yourself in your thoughts what it is that you would like to have for yourself.

The problem with it is that most people don't get it. They think that I just think it and it's not really, that's not really reality. What I'm suggesting here is a shift in thinking about how you contemplate so that contemplation doesn't just become something that you think about. It becomes a way of being.

That contemplation, that your thoughts are actually like things that begin the process of materialization.

That what you contemplate in your mind, ultimately you can harden into material reality, into form. In fact, everything that has been hardened into material form began with someone's imagination, began with a thought.

Okay?

So that William Blake said that everything that you now see was once only imagined. Everything. This room, your cell phone, the clothes you're wearing, Everything, including you, that you are imagined into reality by God, that you are a product of the imagination of the Tao of God. And so that sounds like a little far out kind of thing, but it's more than that. And just stay with me for a moment. If you contemplate with thoughts that match originating spirit, you have the same power. As originating spirit. If you could think like God thinks, you have the same power as God because you are God. You are a piece of God. You must be like what you came from. You must be. I illustrate that in the film in a real beautiful scene in there. We must be like what we come from. If you take out an ounce of blood from my veins and the cholesterol rating is 140, you can be certain for sure that all the rest of the blood going through my veins, the other 5 quarts or pints or whatever's in there, have 140 as well. Because what was taken out must be like what it came from. It's just a simple law of the universe, right? When contemplation is a vibrational match to originating spirit, a vibrational match to originating spirit, you gain the cooperation of divine mind. Attracting and fulfilling your desires. As you begin to contemplate from a place of not thinking about the end, but thinking from the end, and never allowing yourself to deter yourself from that thought, you gain the access of Divine Mind.

It's how it works.

It's— I got the mic, folks, and you paid to hear me.

This has always worked for me.

It works for me.

It's what I do. My children will tell you that. They will tell you how crazy I am, that I get a thought in my mind about what it is that I am going to do, and I can't be detracted because I will not allow my attention to be taken away because I'm thinking—

I believe that when I have those thoughts and they match originating spirit, that I will get the cooperation, and it always happens.

Always, always. Contemplation is therefore a kind of action in and of itself which sets into motion all of the creative forces of the universe. Now, here's what I want to tell you about excuses. When you rely on excuses, you allow your false self—that is, the ego, which I spoke about at the beginning—to contemplate what you do not want. Or what you cannot get. That's what those 18 excuses are. They're all misalignments. They are contemplating what can't happen, how difficult it's going to be, how long it's going to take, how much money it's going to cost and you don't have it. As you contemplate in that way, you cannot create for yourself what you want. You create what you are contemplating. And then you stay down here, and the universe offers you experiences that match up to what you are contemplating. When you contemplate up here, in harmony with Divine Mind, the universe offers you experiences that match up here. The problem is that you're so easily taken away from your imagination, but I'm going to change that in the next 6 minutes. The presence of any of the excuses that I just outlined there for you you in your life is evidence that you contemplate what you can't do or have. So you're really good at contemplating what you don't want or what you can't have or what's impossible. And everybody's doing it all the time and wondering why nothing shows up or the changes don't take place. To rid yourself of excuses, you must learn to practice contemplating what you intend to manifest and simultaneously detach from the outcome. So that's contemplation.

Now the next, here's what Neville said, and this really got to me.

He said, "One in a million." Now there's 300 million people in America.

That means 300 people know this. All the rest don't get it. That's what he said. Only, and he literally was speaking I'm speaking one in a million, that when you want to understand something mentally, you contemplate it. You cogitate on it. You think about it. You compare it. You analyze it. The first 4 letters of analyze. You're anal, right?

You do all of this stuff. You contemplate, you contemplate, you contemplate.

You think about it.

When you want to understand something intellectually and mentally, you contemplate you want to understand something spiritually, you must become it. You must become it.

And that's where we're going now. And that's where I take you in the middle part of this book.

Now, what you have to do— this is what Neville said and what I'm saying to you— is you take You take in your imagination what you would like to create for yourself, and you assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

You assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. Memorize it. I have. I can say it.

I say it 1,000 times a day to myself.

Assume the feeling. Feelings, relationships, sickness, my work, my children, how I relate in my life, what I'm— assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

What is your wish? It's whatever you have in your imagination.

How do you assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled?

You must become it. And to understand something spiritually, you can't just contemplate it. You now must become it in your mind, in your imagination. You must become it. As you become it, now you have— here's the difficulty. Where do you place your attention on what it is that you are wishing for yourself in your imagination? There are two kinds of attention. The first is called objective attention. So you have a wish, you have a desire, You want to lose the weight. You want to overcome the addiction. You want to create, manifest abundance into your life.

You want to get the job, whatever it is.

You have the freedom to think it, to imagine it, right? You can think it. You're allowed to think it. Nobody can take that away from you. Now you assume the feeling of that wish fulfilled. What does that feel like inside of your body?

What does it feel like? And ultimately, now you have to decide. Where am I going to place my attention on what it is that I intend to manifest or what I want to create for myself? If you use subjective attention, what you do is you allow anything outside of yourself, like somebody says, "Oh, hey, you got a really bad speech impediment. You know, I can't even understand you," or somebody makes fun of you, or it doesn't work for you, and immediately you allow your attention to go off of of what it is that you are using your imagination to create. And the minute that you do that, you've lost it. The other is called objective attention. And this is you never allow anyone or anything, no matter what comes your way, to take you away from your wish, your vision. It's yours.

Nobody gets to say, "That's just a crock of shit." They can say that all they want to, and you immediately go to the feeling. You've assumed the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

You are not thinking about having that job or about being free of your addiction or about losing the weight.

You've already lost it. It's in your mind. That's your imagination. This is how manifestation takes place. And so everybody that says anything to you, "Hey, chubby, how you doing today?" or, "Yeah, you're still poor," or whatever it is, you instantly go to, "I feel great. I feel terrific. This is mine. You don't get any piece of it. You don't ever, you can't have it. It's mine." Okay? Now when you do that, what happens is you put into play what's called the subconscious mind. Now the subconscious mind, the mind that you use to drive back and forth to work every You don't think about where you put your foot and does it go on the gas pedal and am I going to, do I have to have it and do I have to shift and do I, and should I turn and should I slow down and I better, I've got to, you don't do all of that, right? You can drive all the way across the country and never think about what the hell you're doing and never make a mistake and stop at every red light and go make your turns and all of that because you've turned it all over to this subconscious mind, this part of you that is just working on automatic pilot, right? Your subconscious mind, which is where all of your actions take place and all of your creation takes place, cannot make a distinction between what you are feeling in your body as a result of your imagination and living there, or what you are experiencing every day in the material world. It doesn't know the difference. So now here's the key. Now I'm getting excited.

Now this is really good.

The last 5 minutes of your day before you go into your subconscious mind to marinate for the next 8 hours, what do you do? How do you use your imagination, your mind, your thoughts What do you use it for? Most of you use it to review all of the things that you don't like about what's going on in your life, and all of the things that are missing, and all of the reasons why it's not working again. And I heard that bald-headed bastard up there talking, and it may work for him because, you know, he's rich and famous, but this ain't working for me.

I can guarantee you it's not going to happen.

And on and on you can go with all of the reason he talked to me this way and then she said that and the money isn't coming in, I can't pay the bills and that bastard I'm married to, I mean, he doesn't ever listen to what I mean. And on and on it goes.

You could fill a swimming pool. Remember Jackson Browne? I could fill a swimming pool with my tears thinking about the way that you think at night. So now the last 5 minutes you've just reviewed food, everything that's wrong, everything that's missing, everything that's not going to happen, everything that I'm depressed about, all of the reasons why the world is going to hell, about this, I'm probably going to get that swine flu. I've been thinking about pigs a lot, you know, and the economy is going into the toilet, and that's, I'm going to probably lose my job, and I'm not going to have this, and my kids, you know, they need braces and I can't afford them, and my kids don't even like me anyway.

And as I, and on and on and on you go, you're using your mind Now you're just about to go off into your subconscious mind and you've got 8 hours, 8 hours, 8 hours, 1/3 of your day to marinate on all the things that are wrong. What I want you to do tonight is I want you to take the last 5 minutes when you're in bed alone or with someone else, what doesn't matter, it's the last 5 minutes 5 minutes when it's over, okay? And what I want you to do in those 5 minutes is I want you to go back to assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled in your imagination, because now your subconscious mind is going to do something for you. It's going to harden or start the process process of hardening a thought into form.

It starts there.

That's how you get form out of thought, through this subconscious mind, which can't distinguish whether you're just thinking it and then feeling it.

Change your concept of yourself by creating an idea in your mind that you can identify with it until you become So a radical change of your concept of yourself and get a picture in your mind of what you want to attract that is so strong that you become it. You become it in your mind. Okay?

You know a thing— I said this earlier— you know a thing mentally by thinking about it, you know a thing spiritually by becoming it.

You are now it, and you are operating from that perspective. You have achieved what it is that you want to achieve in your life. And the third is you assume the feeling of that wish fulfilled.

You feel what that feels like in your body. Your imagination, number 4, is able to do all that you ask in proportion to the degree degree of your subjective attention.

That's complicated. But it's basically what I've just explained.

Your imagination, your mind, your thoughts, where materialization begins and ends, is able to do all that you ask in proportion to the degree of your subjective attention. How much are you willing to hang on to it, not because it's something that you want so but it's because it's something that you already are. You're already it. Okay? And so all of your attention that you place on your wish being fulfilled is subjective.

It's yours. Nothing outside of you, nothing that comes along in the circumstances of your life can change that. You have to discipline yourself to get to that place.

You access divine cooperation by staying in the state of what you have imagined with your subjective attention. This is how you harden an imaginative wish into a material reality.

By staying in that state, it ultimately has to become your reality. You will act upon it because your subconscious mind will start offering you up experiences to match up to that. And the—

when I started writing the book, and I do that that that's why when I start to write a book, I already have the COVID of the book and the jacket and the title sitting in front of me, and I look at it every single day. It's already done. All I have to do is be the conduit to let it happen.

I do the same thing when I give a talk like this.

You think I take this for granted? You think I believe that I can get up here and talk for 3 hours without notes and make it interesting and compelling and give you something new And so you think I take that for granted? I bust my ass doing this. People tell me, "You make it look so easy." There's nothing easy about it. I have already imagined all of this. I've already lived with this, and my kids all know, "Don't bug me an hour and a half or 2 hours before I speak. Don't call me. Don't knock on my door. Don't ask me any questions. Don't ask me what you're wearing. Don't ask me anything. I am already completing this talk." And now I can come out here and I can allow Divine Mind to work through me because my subconscious mind has given me all of the experiences that I need. That's how it works. 6.

Picturing the future without assuming the feeling is simply called futile daydreaming.

Let me say it again.

Picturing the future without assuming the feeling of the wish fulfilled is just idle, futile daydreaming. That's all that is. You have to assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. You have to say that 1,000 times a day until you really get it.

Use, I said this already, use the last 5 minutes to awake, to awaken in your awakened state to assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled. It can't hurt. It's your imagination. Why not review what it is that you want and what you already are instead of what you can't have and what's not working. Because that's what you've been doing for your lifetime. That's why you use all of these excuses. Because they become— they become your—

you become a prisoner to them.

They become true for you when in fact, if you put them to the test, there's nothing true about them at all. The only reason that you keep using them is you keep contemplating what you don't want and what you can't have. You have. And great spiritual masters and those who are great achievers, they don't put their attention— I learned that from my teacher Abraham Maslow back in the 1960s when I was working on my doctoral studies. He said self-actualizing people never put their attention on what's wrong or on what's missing. He said if you want to be a great therapist, don't talk to people about their problems. Give them 5 minutes. And then spend the rest of the time on solutions, on what you're going to do about it and what's possible for you and what you can make happen. And get them to leave your office knowing within that they're already what they want to be. Your imagination is this incredible gift from which all things originate, to which all things return. That's you and God at work. And finally, experience in your imagination imagine what you would experience in reality as if it had already achieved, if you'd already achieved it.

Not as an onlooker thinking of the end, but as a participant thinking from the end. Make it pleasurable. Okay. So this substance that I'm speaking about here is consciousness. It's called consciousness.

It is your imagination which forms consciousness, this substance into concepts, which are then manifested as conditions and circumstances and physical objects. So it's your imagination which takes consciousness and turns it into concepts, which when they're manifested, they come out as conditions or circumstances and physical objects. This imagination made— thus imagination made your world.

This supreme truth is, with but few exceptions, man is not conscious of it. Most of us simply are not conscious of the fact that within us we have the ability to take consciousness, move it in our imagination into circumstances, move it into conceptualizations, and then move it into form. Through our imagination, that you have the ability to do that. You can become a manifester if you think from the end. Now, the paradigm, which is the real essence of Excuses Be Gone, it's 7 questions that you look at and you look at in a hard way. I'm just going to go through a few of them. First question: every excuse that you use It's going to be difficult. It's going to take a long time. I can't afford it. We'll use those. First question to ask yourself about that excuse as you begin the process of fulfilling your wishes is, is it true? Is that thought true? I want to do this, but it's going to take a long time. I want to do this, but it's going to be difficult. I want to do this, but I can't afford it. Those are just 3 of them. The second part of this question is, can you be 100% certain that the excuse that you are using for not making your life work the way you want it to is true? Can you be 100% certain that it is true that it's going to be difficult, that it's going to take a long time? Time that you can't afford it? Can you be 100% certain that it's not going to be difficult? You can never be 100% certain of anything, can you? So you can't be 100% certain that what you would like to do or accomplish or create for yourself is going to be difficult, and you can't be 100% certain that it is going to be difficult. But one of those thoughts will lead you to overcoming the resistance and creating what you want, and the other one is a guarantee that you'll never get it, why would you opt for the thought that says it's going to be difficult and you can't be certain that it's true, rather than it's going to be easy, which you can't be certain, 100% certain that it's true, but at least if you believe that it's going to be easy, you'll start going down that path. Path.

And do you see how we do this with virtually every thought that we have? You get a headache, you get sick, things don't work out for you the way that you would like to, and immediately you go to the excuse, "I'm too old. I'm too scared. I'm too busy. I can't make this happen." And if you stop that and say, "What's the reverse of that thought?

I'm not scared. I can do this.

It's going to be easy.

I can afford I can't afford it.

If you say to yourself that you can't afford to do something, and I hear it from people every day, you can't afford to do something, why would you— and you can't be 100% certain that you can't afford it because the money could show up. There's a real likelihood that it could show up. Is it more likely that the money will show up if you think the thought that you can't afford it or if you think the thought that you can afford it? Because if you think the thought that you can afford it and you assume the feeling of that wish and you go through and marinate in that for 8 hours every night, you're going to now begin to align yourself in a different way. And the universe is going to start providing you with, and you're going to start acting and thinking like God thinks. And before you know it, the money's going to show up.

The second question in the paradigm is, where did these thoughts come from?

These are all memes. What are memes? Viruses. Not the kind of viruses that are in your computer or in your body. Mind viruses. Do they have any substance?

No, they're ideas. They've been placed in your mind. What's their purpose? Duplicate, infiltrate, spread. You have been a virus carrier for it. Where did they come from?

The answer to that question is very simple. They came from you.

Every single one of them came from you. But we carry these things around. What you do is you take total responsibility for every single one of them.

You say, "Yes, I was 3 years old." And when patients would come to me and say, "I was only 3 years old.

I didn't really choose it." I said, "Did you know any other 3-year-olds who listened to the same shit and didn't buy it?" Who heard their parents saying the same thing to them, heard their teachers saying that?

Yeah, well, who's responsible for you thinking those things?

Well, it's my mother. Mothers take a big rap on this, big rap on this. I say, so your mother is responsible for the way that you are in your life? Yes. I say, okay, get out of here. I want you to get up, I want you to go home, I want you to go get your mother, I want you to bring her back here. Why? I said, because I'm going to treat her and you're going to get better. And you can see the absurdity of it, can't you?

So if you're not willing to take responsibility, total responsibility for everything that you are, instead of placing it on anyone or anything or any set of circumstances outside of your life, you signed up for all of that.

If you're the middle child, you signed up for it.

How do you know? Because you are. You know, if your parents got divorced, that was necessary. You had to go through that. You needed that experience in this lifetime. If you were abandoned, if you lived in an orphanage, if you were sick, if you broke your leg, if you're blind, whatever it means.

As my friend Ram Dass says, everything that you experience in your life is nothing more than your curriculum to God. It's just your curriculum to God. This is the one that you signed up for. For. So accept it. Accept it all. And I talk quite a bit about that in there. The third of these questions is, um, what are the payoffs? And basically the payoffs— every behavior, every excuse that you use has a payoff. Usually it's the avoidance of your dharma. It's usually to avoid the callings of your soul. It's usually to allow other people to be responsible and to run away from it. I go through them all. But the fourth one, and this is one I want to close with. Ask yourself this question: What would my life look like if I couldn't use the excuse that I've been using to explain why my life isn't working the way I want it to work in this dimension? What would my life look like if I couldn't use this excuse? If you simply couldn't say, "It's going to be difficult. I can't afford it." What if you just couldn't think And as you begin to look at changing those ways of being, you begin to see that you don't have to hang on to them at all.

If you couldn't think them, tell yourself you can't.

It's no longer possible for me to think that I can't accomplish what I want. I have an imagination. I can assume the feeling of that wish fulfilled. I can place objective attention always on that wish being fulfilled.

Hi and welcome to Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration. I'm Summer McStravick, the producer of this program, and I'll be fielding all of your calls this hour. Welcome to everyone. And Dr.

Dyer, how are you today? I'm great, thank you.

How are you? Ah, feeling good. What's, what's on your mind this, this week in the middle of the summertime?

Oh, well, we're going to take some calls, but I just wanted to share one, one of the things that I think is really good to do for people, and I just did it this weekend, is go out into nature and really escape from all of the noise and the, you know, the confusion and all the obstructions and all the people, all the cars, all the sounds, all the noises that are in the normal everyday living that we just sort of accept. All the beeping in the air and the blowers and the trucks and the lifters and noise, noise, noise. And there's something about the noises of nature. And this weekend, I live over on West Maui, and I went over over to a place called Hana, which in Hawaiian means heaven, and went to a wedding of my yoga instructor. And she married someone from New Zealand, a Maori. And the whole group of people went out there, and the only thing that we could do out there for the entire weekend— there was 150 people out there— is to camp. So we had to bring tents and sleep outdoors in the camps and then swim in waterfalls and pools. For the entire weekend, and it was just really magnificent. And then the night up there— and this is the rainforest, so it rains almost every night— and it rained and rained and rained so hard all throughout the night, from about 1 o'clock in the morning until about 5. And of course, the water started coming in under the tent, and, you know, having— it was just one of those kinds of experiences where, you know, normally you won't have to worry about whether you're going to get wet when you're sleeping, and you don't have to do, you know, be concerned about what bugs are going to be coming in and all of that. It was a wonderful, terrific experience, and I recommend, especially if you're feeling a little tense, feeling a little out of sorts or worked up or nervous or depressed or whatever, is return to your nature. That's what Lao Tzu taught me in the Tao Te Ching, that you'll find God not in some bearded white man floating around in heaven sort of a cosmic bellboy waiting for you to give orders or ask for things. That much more you'll find God or source or spirit in nature, in all of the wonderful ways that nature has presented to itself. And getting out there and experiencing it and living among it and listening. You know, I would go away to meditate just because there was a whole bunch of kids there, and so on. I would just go 100 yards away, and any place that I would sit within 10, 15 feet of where I was, I was, there was probably a million little creatures, just tiny little bugs, little crickets, little noises and all of that. And that's every cubic inch of space. There is, it seems, something out there that's alive and something to experience and to know. And it's a good way. Nature is extremely healing. It's very therapeutic. I felt very, very peaceful and enjoyed it very, very much. So my recommendation for this week is spend a little time in nature and you'll find God.

Okay, connect with the earth, in other words. Yeah. When you said Hannah, is that the tiny little town that takes— Hannah, it takes like a 6-hour drive through switchbacks to get to?

A lot of— I believe I've done that. Yes, it is.

It's not quite 6 hours, but it's, uh, with a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old in a car seat, it's, uh, 6 plus.

We have the— we call that our trip from hell one time that we did. We took 5 of our kids and they were 5— we had 5 under the age of 8, and we took them all. We hired a limousine many, many years ago, and they prepared meals and all of them took that. And the first kid got a little bit carsick and she threw up. Then with, of course, the smell of this, of the throw-up in the back, that made the next one. So 5 of the kids, by the time we got to Hana where we were going, even the food in the back had been— it was not a pleasant— it was one of those things. Oh yeah, it's very much, yeah, very much motion sickness and switchbacks. Yeah, that's Hana.

I think I remember that. Called the road.

Those of you who are coming to Maui, when you, when I do my seminar here in October with a weekend seminar on Excuses Be Gone, you might want to take a, take a look at that trip over to Hana. It's quite a, quite an experience all the way over there. All the way over there, there are waterfalls and there are pools to swim in. And yeah, I could go on and on about what it was like to swim. And I did a 45-minute swim in one of those pools, just back and forth, back and forth, under a waterfall. And the energy of that was just just, it took away some congestion and things that I had had. So it was really powerful. And now tomorrow morning I'm getting ready to leave for San Francisco and to do filming for my new film which will be out in January called From Ambition to Meaning. The star is Portia de Rossi who is Ellen DeGeneres' partner and she's also the star in her own right of Ally McBeal and Arrested Development and she's become She's going to be the star of this film, other than Wayne Dyer, of course. I know I'm a movie star, and I'm trying to tell them I want to, you know, I want my people to meet with your people, and I want to have— I'm starting to talk the Hollywood kind of talk, you know. It's, uh, I want a trailer that's bigger than everybody else's trailer because you're demanding your, your certain type of water bottles. And if there's any questions, I'll have my people talk to your people, and we'll do— they'll do lunch and have keys.

All right, let's get out of that. Let's get away from that right away. Let's get back to nature here. All right. Okay, we have, um, first of all, Maura. She's calling today from Dayton, Ohio on line 3. Maura, welcome to the program. You're speaking live with Dr.

Wayne Dyer. Hi, this is a dream come true.

Hi. And speak up as well, if you wouldn't mind.

Yes, um, I'm in my office, so I'm trying to talk a little low.

So can you hear me? I can hear you.

Okay, first I want to tell you, you have changed my life tremendously. Thank you so much. Thank you. You're very welcome. You're a true blessing. And some are— actually, I was listening to your show Flow Dreaming today, and you talked about envisioning presents like you're a kid on Christmas Day opening presents. And I had this feeling overwhelm me today with that.

So this is truly a present. Oh, that's so wonderful.

How may I help you, Mara?

Well, um, I just made a career change, which is really to the positive. It's a wonderful opportunity for me. And at the same time, my husband is in a transition too, and he's following something he's always wanted to do. My problem— or I shouldn't say problem, but I have this feeling, and I don't know why, while he makes this change, that he is going to find someone else that is more suiting for him. And I thought this way for quite a few years, and actually I had the same situation in my last marriage, and it happened. And I know how we, we think, and we can manifest things, and I don't want— I mean, that's not what my intention is. And I don't know why it comes up.

Well, it comes up because it's been your life experience. And, you know, you live in great fear of the same kind of thing replicating itself in your life and probably are thinking, especially based upon all of the things that you've learned, that you, you know, you attract into your life exactly what you need at exactly the right moment and the right time. And, you know, you become what you think about. About, and then you did that. And so now what you've done is you've trained your mind. It's a lot of what we do as, as we get older. We start using the second half of our life to sort of get over the things that we did in the first half of our life. And, and with a marriage, very often you, you know, you start using your second marriage to get over the things that you had to deal with when you were in your first marriage. And if you can understand that, um, that thought is something that you want to be very cautious about. If I were going to have that thought. I, instead of saying this is something that I'm terrified of and that I fear, I would be putting it into a different perspective. That whatever it is that is your dharma, your, your relationship to this person that you're married to and that, that you love very much, if it is to come to an end, and if it's to come to an end in some way that is very similar to what I did the first time, then I'll handle that as well, whatever it is. But right now I want to put my thoughts on on where I am, because I've said it so many times on this program, everything that ever happened to you in your life, and especially in your last marriage, happened to you in the present moment. And everything that's going to happen to you in this relationship is going to happen to you in the present moment. That is, the future and the past are nothing more than illusions. They all occur in the present moment. So your relationship to this marriage is really your relationship to the present moment. So rather than focusing on on its ending and some kind of disaster that you just have imagined for yourself, imagine that whatever it is that comes along, you'll be able to handle it. And if there is somebody out there that is more suited to be with your husband, and that's 10 years down the road or what it is, then that's exactly what you'll handle when that were to show up as well. In other words, get the disaster out of it. You know, I call this disasterizing, you know, just getting yourself all worked up. You know, there's an old saying that says, I'm an old man and I've had many troubles, most of which have never happened. And you know, it's like these are all things that we create for ourselves in our mind. Just know that whatever it is that is coming your way in this relationship, know that it is all for your highest good and for your husband's highest good. And who wants— who could ask for anything more than that? Right. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're right. You're right with that. And in a roundabout way, some of those thoughts too have come about, you know, I'll handle it as it goes, but I don't like having that feeling. And I really, you know, I do daily affirmations where I'm trying to create more positive things with it. So think of it like this, Maura.

Think of the— because what you're talking about is something called worry. You know, and worrying about what might happen, you know, with all the possibilities and so on. Think of it instead of what might happen in the future. Ask yourself this question whenever one of those thoughts pops into your head. That is, why am I using up this present moment, which is all I get in life, all I'll ever get? Why would I want to use it being consumed with something that might or might not happen down the road? Why not instead say to myself, that I'm, you know, we're married, we're happy, we love each other, and I'm going to be in this moment and I'm going to enjoy. And the more you're able to do that and be there and send that worry thought away, because the worry thought is nothing more than how you're choosing to use up this present moment by consuming yourself with worry. Guilt is the opposite of that. Guilt is being, using up the present moment to be concerned about something that you did or didn't do or should have done or didn't do right, but you're still doing it in the present moment. So worry and guilt, in my book Your Erroneous Zones, I call these the useless emotions. They're just useless because all they do is take you away from the moment and have you fill up the moment with something other than what you want to be doing, which is to be in a fully functioning, loving, present moment experience all the time, just being in the now. And if you want to learn how to do that, go out and watch your animal, you know, because I wrote a book years ago called The Sky's the Limit, and one of the chapters is called First Be a Good Animal. And there's so much that we can learn from the creatures out there. Like an otter isn't worried about, you know, whether its mate is going to leave it 2 months from now or whether it likes somebody else better or any of those kinds of things. Things. It's just in the moment, being an otter. Just be an otter. Just enjoy the moment. And you'll find that all of that other stuff will just pass exactly the way it's supposed to. It's all unfold perfectly. And everybody who comes into our life, by the way, everybody who comes in, it's like a play, you know. They have certain roles to play. Some of them in for the whole act, usually your parents and grandparents or so on. They're in for the whole, every act of the, of the play. And some of them come in for a short time and then they leave. And some come back And, you know, everybody's making entrances and exits. And ultimately, we all exit the play, don't we? Yeah. Yeah, we do. It's never worth it. It's all of that anxiety and that stress and that fear and that worry. All you're doing is wasting the present moments of your life, filling them with something that you could otherwise be filling them with. And that's what I would be asking you if I were your therapist. Like, what is it that you could be doing in the moments when you're worried about whether your husband's going to find someone more suited to you? What could you be doing other than that? Supposing that your mind wasn't capable of thinking that thought, what would your life look like if you couldn't think that thought? And how would you feel? How would I feel? What if you couldn't think that? What if you just couldn't think that thought that you had that your husband might someday know? What if you couldn't think that? I would be content.

I would be happy with everything because we have a lot together. We— he's my best friend and we have so much together now. I would be happy. Be. And right now I am.

Yeah, if you couldn't think that thought, you would be happy. So the only thing that keeps you from being happy isn't your husband or isn't you, it's that thought. Yeah. And if you just decide that I'm in charge of what thoughts that I have, you know, so now you say, okay, I'll just— you just go on to the— you use your imagination and you go into this imaginary place where you just don't— you just assume I can't think that thought. My brain isn't capable of making the chemicals that are going to allow I allow that thought to come to me. And then you start realizing that I am now content. You use the word, I'm content. You would be free, you would be joyful, you would be happy, you'd be filled with joy. And if you read the Tao, if you read Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, there's a whole chapter in there on contentment. That's what Lao Tzu was teaching us all. Just be in a state of contentment instead of wanting something or worrying something or being obsessed about what already happened. That's a great call. I'm glad you called this morning.

Morning. Thank you so much.

I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. God bless you.

God bless you too. Thanks for your call, Maura.

Well, Dr. Dyer, when we let go of that last caller, there was not much time before the break, but one thing Maura made me think about was how some of us worry obsessively about the past, and others like Maura or myself, we worry about the future. She's worrying about something that's going to happen, and I notice in myself I tend to always worry about the future, but I never worry about the past. Do you think that's just our personalities or human nature?

Yeah, I think that when we call it worrying about the past, I think that's a misapplication of the use of worry, the word worry. I've always used— anytime you use that, everything you do, you do in the present moment. So the question always is, why am I using up my present moment this way? Anything that you're using to think about what happened in the past, if it shouldn't have happened, I wish it wouldn't have, I was wrong, I was bad. I call that guilt. And the reason why guilt is a useless emotion is because it's just inconsiderate or inconvenient way of using up the present moment. If you use up the present moment to say, okay, I did this and I'm going to learn from it, I'm not going to do it again, that's not guilt. That's just called learning from the past. But if you're obsessed about it and worried about it and feeling sad about it, then you're just practicing, you know, one of the most useless things that you can do, which is to feel guilty. Learn from it But feeling guilty is a waste of the present moment, as is worrying about anything, really. There's a wonderful statement that my teacher in India used to say to me. He said, it makes no sense to worry about the things you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And then he said, it makes no sense to worry about the things that you do have control over, because if you have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. So there goes everything that it's possible to worry about. You either have control or you don't. In either case, worry is a waste of your present moments.

So in any instant, you could just ask yourself, do I have any control over this? Yes or no? Right.

And move on. Yeah. And that's what the Serenity Prayer is really about. And grant me the, you know, the wisdom to know the difference between the things I do— I can control— and the things I can't control. And for sure, you can't control anything that's already happened. You just can't control it. Yeah, that's true.

Okay, distinction there. How about we move to Amanda then? We have a caller from Canada. Alberta, Canada. Amanda, you're on line 2. Welcome. You're speaking with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Thank you. Hi, Wayne. Hi, Amanda. Hello. I just wanted to say my mom and my sisters and I enjoyed you at the Las Vegas I Can Do You. Oh, yes.

We listened to your lecture and it was very good.

Thank you.

Well, thank you. Yes. Did you say I can do you? I like that, but it was I can do it. That's what I heard too. I don't want anybody out there thinking, okay, what did Wayne and Amanda, what were they up to? I can do you in Las Vegas. In Vegas, it stays in Vegas, guys. I can do you in Vegas. I like that. I think we're going to change it to that. That's great. Oh, yeah. You Canadians, you're so bad.

What else is on your mind, Amanda?

Well, what's been on my mind for the last month is I have a tendency— I'm just looking for some words of wisdom. I've been feeling this deep resentment inside of me. I feel like my ego jumps out at the best of times. I'm trying to really work hard at going inside my heart, but every time a certain situation comes up, whether it's with my family or someone else, I feel like I'm going through my head. I would like to get some words of wisdom.

What kinds of things cause you to have this resentment?

Let's see. I feel that, like, I've never been a person to feel this angry inside, and I've always come from peace and loving words, and lately I've been feeling that they're not coming out of me, and I'm doing my best to, you know, do my affirmations or in my angel cards, but I've never been this way, and I'm not sure how to answer your question, but—

Yeah.

How old are you, Amanda?

How old are you, Amanda? Uh, 31.

Are you married?

No, I've been single for about 4 years.

Uh-huh.

You were married? Oh no, no, just in different relationships. I see. Yeah, I think sometimes the, um, you know, when we use the word resentment about, uh, you know, what's happening to, uh, and it causes us to go inside and express itself in, uh, in angry words and so on, is, um, that's the time when you have to it isn't going to be affirmations that are going to heal that for you. It's, it's going to be the— there's, there's like a— generally speaking, there's a wound in there someplace. There's some kind of something going on in there that you're not at peace with. And if you can— and it isn't even locating it as much as, you know, I always like that quotation that I give from Moby Dick from Melville, you know, for as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land So in the soul of man lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all of the horrors of the half-lived life. And the half-lived life is what I always suspect when I hear what you're saying, you know, because likely you're not— you know, you're 31, so you've moved into your 30s now. Now you look back and say, oh my God, my 20s are gone already, you know, and here I am, 31, and my next one's 40s, and then, oh my God, that's just ancient, you know. So it's like, I, you know, and it's like you got to kind of get on with what am I here for, what, what, what's my, what's my purpose, what is all of this about. And, you know, the real purpose of life is to enjoy it. And if you're not able to do that, you know, you have to go to that insular Tahiti and go to that place of inner peace and joy. Generally, the best thing to do is what Lao Tzu recommends, which is to start living the virtues. Issues. Start taking the focus off of yourself, off of me, off of my relationships, off of what's working and not working, off of my job, off of how much money I'm making, off of what my parents think, or anything. Like, all of that— like, just take you out of the picture and suspend yourself. Let that ego part of you go and instead reach out. Reaching out and serving. Find yourself in a place where you can go out there and and extend joy, extend peace, extend kindness someplace in, in some way to someone. I don't need to tell you how to do that because that's really easy to do. You can turn around in the next 5 minutes after you hang up the phone and do it. Just reach out in love in some way, or find someone less fortunate than you, or donate $20 to something, or whatever it might be. And the minute that you start taking your focus off of yourself, you become more godlike. You become— you get into that place where where you're starting to understand this is what it means to be God-realized. This is what Lao Tzu meant when he said, be Tao-centered. Act like God does. Act like the source does. Act like the Tao does. And what does the Tao do? It's always serving. It's always giving. It's always concerned with abundance and providing and offering and sharing and loving. And it's all natural. It's all natural. And I was thinking, you're in Alberta, and I can remember one time going into Alberta up to, you know, where Lake Louise is? Yes. And have you ever been up there to Banff and Lake Louise? Uh, yes, I have. Yeah, that would be such a— I was thinking, I don't know how anybody could be unhappy or depressed or anything when, when they're in a place like that. That might be a really good spot for you to just go up there and contemplate and be, you know, rather than focusing on Amanda. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, so head to Banff stamp. I will. Lake Louise is calling you. It's the most— I think it's the most pristine, beautiful place in all of North America.

Well, I went there during my years of when I was in the choir in my junior high years, but I haven't been since. So I've been wanting to go somewhere.

That's a perfect place, I'm telling you. I could see— I could just, for some reason, I could see you meditating right by those mountains there and right in that beautiful spot.

Oh good, all right.

So that's my little psychic ploy for today. Get you to Lake Louise and, uh, and just be. And then see how much serving you can do, how much focus you can take off of yourself, and how much reaching out that you can do in that— in the time, especially while you're on your way there. All right, well, thank you. Okay, sweetheart.

Thank you so much. Thanks. Thank you.

God bless you. Namaste. Appreciate it. All right, Dr. Dyer, we have Marie calling you now. Marie, you're on line 1. Welcome. You're speaking with Dr.

Wayne Dyer. Hi, Dr. Dyer.

Hi, Marie. How are you?

Good. I'm so excited to get to talk to you. I've been reading your books for years and I love them and they've been a big help to me.

Well, thank you very much. I love your town. I've been up there many times. Yeah.

My question is, I'm feeling stuck, mostly in my career, but also in my personal life and finances too. And I know I I feel like I want to change, but I don't know what to do. So I just feel paralyzed, like I'm not doing anything. And now then I'm frustrated because I feel I want the change but don't know what next step to take.

So the reason why you're stuck is—

mostly it's centered around my career. I've been doing the same type of work for 28 years, and I stay with it because because I need the money and part of it is I'm self-employed and it works— part of it works as far as like I get to set my own hours. So I like that aspect of it, but I don't enjoy the work anymore and I just— it's draining to go to work. It just feels like it's sucking the life out of me.

Oh, well then you just have to— you're— all of the excuses that you're using for not, you know, making that change, which are probably in the neighborhood, I wouldn't be as financially secure, um, other, you know, other people in my family wouldn't understand that. Yep. There would be, you know, there would be family drama that I would have to deal with. You know, I would be frightened because I would be entering into new territory that I've never been in before, and it's, it's not my nature to be risky. It's more my nature to be safe. Is that right? Yep. Yeah, because that's— you wouldn't be in the same place for 28 years again. See, all of these are—

you know, you're the perfect person.

I want you to read my new book, Excuses Be Gone. I wish I had it It'll be done for you. I cannot wait. I heard about it, yeah. It'll be out next year, yeah. And it's really about some of the stuff we've been talking about here today. It's like, is to really go to look at the thoughts that you have, all of those excuses that I just laid out for you. If you were to ask the question, the very first question, I have what I call an excuses be gone paradigm. And this paradigm is like you ask yourself a series of 7 questions. The first question you ask yourself, is it true? And then you look at, well, you know, where did it come from? And then you look at what if I couldn't think these kind of thoughts? And then you begin to look at coming up with rational reasons to change it. But right now, for you, you have all the reason, all the rational reasons in the world to change that because the description that you just gave, it's gnawing at me, it's painful, it hurts for me to make those kind of changes. I always think, you know, what if you couldn't think those kind of thoughts? What if that wasn't a possibility? And if you were totally free, if you were completely free and didn't have to worry about all those things that I just laid out, what would you be doing? What would you be doing that wouldn't make you feel so constrained and so, um, oh, I don't know, even unworthy of the kind of stuff that you're going through in your life? What would you— what would you be doing?

Do you know?

I always lean towards the arts. Art, writing. I enjoyed it in school and I still enjoy it. I just haven't done anything with it. I just got caught up in everything else and I haven't But I always go back to drawing or writing, and I've thought of children's— writing children's books. I've kind of dabbled in it about 10 years ago, and then I let it go and didn't do anything with it. And but it still comes back.

What would keep you from doing that?

I think part of what happens is I have the idea, but then I— and I know I do this to myself— I think too far ahead because I was like, okay, if I write something, then what do I do with but I don't know what— I think I jumped too far ahead. I don't know what steps to take. Right.

And that's a theme of what we're talking about here today. That's really like— so we get into this worry theme, you know, about— so if I were to do this, then this would be the consequence. And then if I were to do this— and so instead of using your mind and your time and your life energy to be doing what you really truly enjoy, which is the whole purpose of life, instead you're using it— the minute that you stop, you say, no, no, no, I'm not deserving of that. I'm not worthy of that. And then I'm not going to be able to make money. And what are my family going to think if I were to do that? And so all of that stuff that you twist— I call these memes, you know, these are just the, you know, the thoughts that we have had implanted in our minds from your parents and their parents. And endlessly it goes back into all of this worry stuff. And the way out of it is to say, okay, the artwork— someone I was on the radio show with last week named Magli in New York. I don't know if you heard the show, but she talked to me about painting that she had done of Lao Tzu. And she finally— I finally got it. It was sent to me and it arrived last week. I think it was 2 weeks ago we did that. Well, it's one of the most beautiful creations. In fact, it was so terrific that when I got it and I put it up on my wall, I was so inspired by it, I sat down and wrote her a check for $1,000 and sent it to her just because I wanted her to know that her first painting deserved, you know, that kind of reward for it. And I think she's going to be a very famous artist. And I would say the same to you. You. You know, instead of going through all the worry, anxiety, just be in the present moment. Just be in that and practice that a little bit instead of all that worry time. Okay, sweetie. Thank you so much. Thank you. God bless you, my friend.

Let's find out what Blaine in Lindsay, Ontario has to say to you today. Blaine, welcome. You're speaking with Dr.

Wayne Dyer. Thanks, Summer. Wayne, this is a thrill to get to speak to you today. I was—

thank you, Blaine.

I was able to see you in Detroit and Toronto, and when I saw you in Toronto, it was the I Can Do it, not like the other Canadians. Not that can do me, right? Yes, exactly.

And I'm glad you didn't say that.

Yeah, see, and so am I. And I don't know if you remember, in Detroit my daughter had done up a wonderful letter for you, and she's still wanting you to do a kids meeting at some point with all the kids. You've made some great kids' books, which we love.

Oh, that'd be great. Yeah, I think I do recall that.

Well, that's me. Well, I was— I sensed I needed to call today, and obviously I've gotten through, and I'm a little nervous, but bear with me. 3 years ago, your book Inspiration just hit everything, kind of set me on a different track. So it's been amazing. My question today is, I have a business that I've been doing for 15 years with my sister, and I really am kind of worried that we need to deal with selling it and moving on. And I've got a whole lot of different things that have come to me that I want to do, and I'm wondering if if I've maybe given myself too many things to jump into, or if I should narrow it down, or, you know, and again, I always worry about doing the right thing and attracting prosperity and not doing something silly.

So, well, first of all, the attracting prosperity business is like, you know, just know that that's, um, that's the only thing that you can attract. As long as you keep your focus not so much on how is it going to happen, when's it going to happen, uh, you know, what is the divine timing, because divine timing really means it's already in much bigger hands than yours. And just constantly use the affirmation that that it's on its way, whatever it is that you're in the way of prosperity is on its way. But you've been doing a business for 15 years. Is getting rid of that business or selling that business or moving on from that business, is that something that you can see happening for yourself, or is it—

well, yeah, ideally that's what I would love to have happen. And we're kind of at the end of our current negotiations and agreements, so it would be a good time to try and sell it. But I'm dealing with, you know, bring— being up, you know, our upbringing was different thoughts than what you've introduced me to, was almost like don't expect great things and work hard and you may get some money or you may not, assuming that we won't be able to sell it. So those type of thoughts are there in my circle, I guess you would call it.

Yeah, sort of the old idea that life really is a sexually transmitted terminal disease, that we're all just going to die anyway, so none of it is— but you don't think like that any longer anyway. No, absolutely not. Yeah, I think for you, I mean, I don't know, I can't get a reading on anything intuitively, but I can just sense that whatever it is that you put your attention on, and if your question is, am I thinking too many things and having too much stuff come into me, that's the creative process. You know, like the creative source doesn't say, oh, I'm making too many mosquitoes. Well, what about rose bushes? Well, I need to make some, you know, antelopes and all the creative source is in a constant state of creating and there's never any restriction, there's never any limitations, it's just constantly giving, offering, and providing. And when you move into this kind of realization, which you must be, especially if you attended the conference in Detroit and so on, and you're thinking about these ideas, you're reading books like Inspiration, you know, you have a deep knowing inside of you that you are totally unlimited, whatever it is. I mean, I sit here right now at the age of 68 and I know that if I decided to change careers right right now and just go into something completely different, something I had never even done before, you know, being a sports announcer or whatever it is, that I know that it's all I would have to do is put my attention on it and the universe would send me, you know, the right people, the right events, the right circumstance. It would all just begin to show up. You almost get— it's hard to explain this, but you almost get a, uh, a sense of, um, that whatever it is I want to manifest or attract into my life, whatever it might be, that there's absolutely no limit to it whatsoever. And you get— the right word isn't arrogant, but it's the word that keeps going— you get almost like a knowing that is so powerful that there's nothing can dissuade you from it, you know. Nothing can come in there and say, no, this can't happen, this isn't going to work, these are all the obstacles, these are all the reasons where— all of that stuff, that's the work of other people. That's the work of people, you know, people in the past who have tried to make these, uh, you know, try to make your keep your life safe and try to do the right thing by you and all with good intentions, but always with limitations and always with you have to watch out for the outcome. And now you're moving into that. You're moving into the same place that you're going to move into when you die, when you leave this body behind, you know, when you leave, when you just this place of oneness. And oneness is a very difficult concept for us to grasp because we're always in two-ness. We're always in, you know, not just the thing, but the symbol of the thing and what will happen and what and what circumstances might, and we introduce conflict. There's always this inclination of the mind to go into this area of conflict and the but what-ifs. And but, but when you're in oneness, when you're in total oneness, you know it's all perfect. And every one of these thoughts that are bombarding your consciousness now, they're coming in there just to sort of wake you up and have you realize that there's absolutely no limits whatsoever. You just make the decision whichever way you want to go. Practice living the virtue practice being out there and serving and honoring others and servicing yourself and God and our planet, and the right thing will come your way. I know that's a long, windy answer, but—

well, I needed it all, I'm sure. And I have one major, major project that I want to lead forward to that I— it came to me when I was just reading your first book, and it actually woke me up in the middle of the night, and I had to draw it all out and I've been working on it for 3 years and I always go back to your point of doing it just one step at a time and not thinking it has to be here right immediately.

Yeah. But there's a big difference between thinking— because I always say in the Tao, it says think small, don't think big because the journey of 1,000 miles begins with that step, that single step. And that's all you can do is just take the next step and the next and the next. But that doesn't mean that you don't have big visions. No, you know, it doesn't mean, you know, because in the Tao it says that the Taoist masters or, you know, what they call sages, a sage accomplishes great things by thinking small, by thinking about what I can do in this moment. But you don't say that great things aren't going to come my way and I'm not going to be able to, you know, do all of those things because I'm focused on this moment. But the more you stay focused on this moment, like I've been writing this book on excuses be gone, every single day since around the 1st of February of this year. And I just passed on last Friday page 425 of handwritten pages. That's not how many book pages, but 425 pages I have filled by thinking about what I can do. But I've always had the vision of this thing being completed. In fact, I have a picture of what the book is going to look like before I even start the book there, so that I know that it's already completed. Complete. I'm just sort of filling in the pieces. I'm filling in the pieces. And if you can see yourself as doing that, and then if you get pulled— and it doesn't mean I'm not doing other things. My goodness, I'm making a film. I've got all kinds of things that are going on and giving lectures around the world. It's all over the place. But it's like there's just this kind of this knowing that this isn't me doing it all. You know, it's like you get this awareness that you're letting yourself be lived by. It instead of you living it. You know, just letting it take you wherever it's going to take you and being at peace with it. Just like that beautiful song I ended one of my PBS shows with. It says, row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream. There's so much wisdom in that. It's like row, row, row means do, do, do work, work, work. Whatever. More row, row your boat. Don't row somebody else's boat and row it gently, always gently, always in harmony with God and do go down the stream. In other words, don't go up the stream and fight it and all of that and do it merrily, merrily because in the end it's all a dream. It's just all one big dream. We're all characters in God's dream. So there's great wisdom in that simple little song.

Sure is. Well, and you've got lots of it. I thank God for you every day and what you do.

Well, thank you, Blaine. So nice to talk.

Thanks a lot, Blaine. Thanks. God bless you. Take care. Namaste. Let's go now to Jennifer. She's calling from New York, New York. We hear a lot from New York.

Jennifer, hi, how are you? Great, how are you doing?

Hi, Jennifer. Hey, Dr.

McIntyre, I have a car full of fans of yours.

A car full of what? Fans.

My dad, my sister, my mom too, but we're all coming to see you in New York City to Oh great, in October, October the 7th.

Yes, at the Jacob Javits Center. That's going to be great. That's always a wonderful night. That's when I always feel like, that's when I feel like I'm a rock star, you know, because New Yorkers are so great, you know. They're just, I love New York.

They dress up too. Yeah, unlike us in California and Hawaii.

What's on your mind, beautiful?

Oh, um, I'm just getting out of a very rough relationship. Relationship 4 and a half years now, and, uh, I found out the whole time he was cheating on me. And I loved him more than I've loved anyone. I'm 31 years old now, and I thought I'd be with him, you know. And, and I, I'm not sure how I'm going to get past this because I need to be strong enough on my own to stay away from him.

Wait a minute, because we don't have too much time. How does he feel about this relationship breaking up? He, he just will just deny and lie, and just doesn't want me to leave. So he's still in love with you and you're still in love with him, and the thing— the reason why you can't be together even though you're both in love with each other is because he cheated on you?

Well, he is continuing this trust issue. There isn't any trust. And he's also—

but what does the trust center around? Is it around money? Does he steal from you?

Oh no, he, he has— he's a musician and he He has a lot of groupies. Yeah. So, and it hasn't changed.

But there's so much that we do with this. Gosh, I wish I could, you know, wish I had hours to talk about that. It's this whole idea that we believe that because you're in love with somebody else and that other person has, you know, maybe expressed love towards somebody else or had sex with somebody else, you know, or whatever it is, that makes it all impossible. And it's like we get this idea that's You know, if you're not exclusive to me, that we're trying to really make ourselves into these monogamous creatures, you know, who only have eyes for each other and we fall in love with each other and we never look at anybody else. But that's my experience after all of these years is that that's just basically hardly ever the case, you know. And yet we just have this sort of, I don't know, this standard that we have for each other. I would practice a lot of forgiveness here. I would really have conversations with them. I would tell them what hurts and why. I don't know that I would, unless this person is just like a dishonest person in the sense of, you know, really being abusive or stealing or things like that. If he just loves you, loves you, loves you, but has, you know, maybe there's, there will come a time when he can be in that, that place of being totally exclusively yours. But I hate to see two people who really adore each other and really love each other break up on the basis of something that just seems to be built into our DNA, this idea idea of looking out there somewhere else. And this isn't a justification for people cheating. It's more of an awareness that, you know, that as human beings, we try to put standards on ourselves that sometimes there's something internal within us that just won't allow it. And we try to fight that internal thing, you know. Does that make sense? Or am I—

No, it makes sense. And I wish I could just feel that and be natural with that. I mean, he is— he has been abusive in the past, but he's gotten much better. Like, he's He'll have a temper, but he's not— he's changed in that respect, and he has changed.

So he has— we only have a minute left, so that's why I'm interrupting you. So he has shown that he's got tremendous growth potential. How old is this man? He's 34. I wouldn't give up on him yet, dear. I wouldn't give up on him yet. That's just my intuition with only 30 seconds or so to go, but I wouldn't give up. If this is a person who has gone from abusive to non-abusive, who has shown that he can grow bro who is, um, he might surprise you. He might surprise you. He might surprise you a lot. I'd, uh, I'd at least practice a little forgiveness. And even if you do let him go, let him go with love, you know. Don't, don't send him out of your life with anger and resentment and that he wasn't like you are. He's— his DNA is different than yours. You got to love him for what he is. We love the things we love for what they are.

Well, thanks for your Jennifer, we've got to let you go right now because our show's wrapping up. Thank you, Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Okay, God bless you. Hello everybody, and thanks for joining us for the show Wishes Fulfilled with Dr. Wayne Dyer. And we just opened up the phone lines, and Dr. Wayne Dyer is joining us from Maui after a very busy couple of weeks. Let's grab somebody. So let's start in Portland and go to Jeannie on line 1, and she's in Portland, Oregon. Hi, how are you?

I'm great, thanks. How are you, my dear?

I am good, thank you for taking my call. You're very welcome. So I'm in the middle of writing a book, and I guess genre-wise it's kind of a wellness memoir. And I, you know, it started out I was going to write a whole different book really about listening to your intuition and it still is hugely about that and following it and letting, you know, that inner guidance from above, let that lead your life and how it brings you through life. You know, a lot of what you basically, I think, teach, but through my story. And, you know, when I was young, I was like 17 when I started writing letters to God, and each time I wrote, you know, I felt so much better, and then I would take them and just immediately go burn them in the fireplace. And when I was 25, my brother died, and I actually bought a hardcover book and started writing in that and just couldn't bear to throw what I'd written away. So now, 27 years later, 41 journals later, I'm writing this. And I did go down to Hay House and take their workshop, and Jennifer Grace, who I think you might know, is doing a book proposal class. I'm doing that and I'm following what she's saying to do to get this book proposal done. And it's just— I'm having a— we were— what little gist of the story is, I was married for 26 years, had a really beautiful life. We were kind of the nucleus of our family, our friends, nieces, nephews. And then my husband went and had an affair with this 27-year-old girl, which was my— our oldest daughter's age. So we were just broken apart. And if you can imagine a spider web, you know, we were the center. Now it's this— there's all this brokenness. And as I'm going and reading through my journals to write my book, because I've actually had a beautiful life now, and it hasn't been 2 years since my divorce, almost to today, I think, which is weird. And I love— I have a really beautiful life, but everyone else, I feel like, is— my family, my nieces, my nephews, friends, they're all still back, and they're trying to wrap their head around what even happened in the first place. And there's still all this brokenness, and it's almost like I'm at this point of writing where I need a little relief somehow. I don't know if you ever wrote something that, you know, you're going back and reading and having a lot of awareness and writing it and it's hard to write. How do you push yourself forward through that?

And I think the way to do that, Jeannie, is to see this 27-year-old person that your husband had an affair with as a gift from God. God as a teacher. Like, I mean, I did a film called My Greatest Teacher, which was really the story of my relationship and trying to find my father. And it turns out that what he did when I was a young boy and all of his horrible, crass behavior and so on were really the impetus for my being able to reach to higher and higher levels. That's— and while you're reviewing that and looking at that in your writing and so on, instead of coming at it from a place of brokenness this, come at it from a place of completeness of that, uh, and realize that she was sent into, into your life probably to help you to, uh, first of all, get to that place of freedom that you feel now for, you know, uh, as a result of it. And secondly, to help you to, um, to look back upon it as you write about it, uh, not from a place, a place of, uh, oh, this is terrible, it shouldn't have happened, which is what so many of your family members are doing, but from a place of gratitude, of being in a space of gratitude, and write from that place of gratitude and allow the divine guidance that that brings to you, you know, to come to you and to flow through you.

And you'll watch your writing. You're watching because when I wrote, I Can See Clearly Now, and I really encourage you to read that when it comes out.

Yes, I keep wanting to hear it and read it.

Especially in terms of what you're asking me about right now, because I did a lot of reliving as I went through that. And I began to write from— first I started right from that place of the pain and the hurtfulness, like when my wife and I separated, or, you know, when I found out I had leukemia, when I was living in an orphanage, and, you know, all of the kinds of things that just have just been benchmarks in my life. And I would find myself just feeling much more spiritual, much more peaceful when I looked at it as gifts rather than—

So going back to the phones, let's see, where should we go? Let's go to Kelly in Kansas City, Missouri on line 3. And Kelly, welcome to the show. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer today. Hello.

Hi, Kelly. How are you? I'm good.

How are you? I'm great, thanks. Thanks.

Well, I just had a question. I know you've talked about your father and how you forgave him. I've heard the story a few times that you told it. What I'm wondering is, I've been to that place, kind of. Well, actually, it's with my husband.

And, you know, just things from the past.

Okay, we need to get over it, and I really feel like I've forgiven and it's over and let's move on. And then something will happen maybe a few weeks later, you know, he'll— he has a very bad temper sometimes, so, um, you know, that will come on again. And, uh, you know, the past 15 years of everything that I thought I forgave is all right back in my face, and I'm just so angry. And he can just really be very sweet and nice and then turn on a dime. And just my children are starting to be affected by it. My oldest child is, you know, to the point where she doesn't even want to be around him.

It's a lot of anger.

Yeah.

Is there alcohol at all involved? No, not really.

No, I mean Actually, no, not at all. Every once in a while, you know, drink, but nothing, you know.

This temper thing, was it when you first met, um, before you were even married, and when you were, you know, in that early stage of, uh, you know, what— did you ever see that surface?

Actually, when I look back, yes.

I mean, it's always been like this, and I think I had such low self-esteem that I just took it. And I've kind of gotten over that, you know, worked on myself.

And it's not quite as— it seems like it has dissipated, but it's a lot of times has now turned on my oldest daughter. So now I know exactly how she feels. I mean, she loves him, but in another way she just hates him.

Does it ever go beyond just words?

Yeah, not really too physical, but just like pushing maybe once or twice. But just very, very mean.

And just even when he's not Not really angry, just little jabs and just—

What was his—

what, real quickly, what was his relationship, you know, in a sentence or two, what was his relationship like to his father?

His father, he really got along good up until recently, and now they still get along, but it drives him crazy.

Pretty much everybody drives him crazy.

But yeah, his father was— the way he describes him was nothing, a very easygoing, happy—

and now there was some alcohol involved with that, but very happy kind of a person.

Right. Okay. So what you're looking for— and we only have a few minutes— so it's like what you're looking for is a way to deal with and live with someone who's got a bit of— I mean, bipolar is too strong a word because it sounds too technical and too diagnostic and so on, but basically that's what you're talking about. Someone who can just be on an even keel, can be up, can be happy and so on, and then something can trigger it and off he can go. And for some reason he has come to believe that he has, uh, the right to abuse, uh, the people around him, especially the people that love him and care the most about him. Is that correct? That is very correct, yes. And he can do that with words and just an occasional pushing and so on, but, uh, just launch into one of those kinds of things. So what you need to understand is something I wrote about in my second book for the public, uh, many, many years ago, called Pulling Your Own Strings, which I would recommend you read by by the way. It's called Pulling Your Own Strings. And basically my theory on all of this is that you get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you. So that rather than putting it on him— because if you're waiting for him to change in order for you to be happy, you might just be consigning yourself to the role of victim for the rest of your life. So what you want to do is stop teaching him that it's okay for him to— even if he has his, you know, all the reasons within him, and if to be able to, you know, this person is wrong, his own father drives him crazy, his daughter drives him crazy, you drive him crazy, whatever it might be. And he thinks that it's somebody else that is doing all of this to him. He is basically just, uh, reacting that way because I guarantee you that he wouldn't, uh, if I were at your home and a guest in your home, he wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't yell at me. There are lots and lots of places where he absolutely knows how to control himself when he's frustrated. I mean, I'm sure he doesn't do that at work, or not very often, because he wouldn't be at work if he did. So he really has within him the tools to know how to suppress that and to just overlook it. But when it comes to certain people, he just has given himself the right to do that. And the only reason he's got the right to do that is because you've given him permission to do it, for whatever reason, in whatever form that you've given that permission. I know you don't want it. I know that you're, you know, it's not something that you're looking for, but you have taught him that you're willing to do. So what you want to do is embark on a program to teach him that kind of behavior is no longer tolerable in your life, that you've taught him that you're willing to put up with that in whatever way that you have done it over the years. And same with your daughter, and same with your father-in-law. But, um, now what you're going to do is teach him something new so that when he— the next time that he does this and has one of these outbursts and so on, I would talk about it with him when he's not in one of those places, you know, right? When you're having dinner or whatever, just say that I have decided that I'm not going to, uh, you know, in— when you have one of those emotional breakdowns and so on and start yelling at either me or our children or whomever, that I'm not going to put up with that anymore. It causes me too much pain. And I just want you to know that what I'm going to do is, when I see it surfacing, is I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave the premises no matter how inconvenient it is, no matter what it is. I'm going to not stay in the presence and allow you to do that. And I'm going to also tell my— our daughter that that's what she's going to do as well. And when he— even when you see it just beginning to surface, you stand up and you just say, excuse me, I'm just not going to be here right now, and you leave. You lock yourself in the bathroom, you go to the car, you go, you know, drive yourself someplace, you walk out of the house, whatever it may— no matter how embarrassing it may be. Now you're going to fundamentally change the way that you teach this man to treat you. Ultimately, if he, you know, gets even worse, then you just say, okay, I just don't choose to live under these conditions any longer, and, um, I'm going to get divorced or I'm going to separate. I'm no longer willing to be the victim of a person who knows how to control these things under certain circumstances but chooses not to when he's with me and our family. It's a choice that he is making, not that he's got a personality defect that he can't control, unless he's just going around doing this to strangers and things like that. It doesn't sound like that's—

no, he's completely the opposite with other people. Other people that know him wouldn't believe that in a minute.

They think he's a great, nice And I would— I also, I might even play this back to him. What, um, you know, because you can get— you can go online and, uh, I mean, this will play all week, this show, and you might even play it for him. You know, this is like, I called in, you know, nobody knows your name or anything, and this is the question I had, and this was the response, and, and I'm going to try— and this is what I'm going to do. Does that sound sensible to you or something that you could do?

Or—

yes, it does. Yeah, it's, you know, it's almost like I needed somebody to say it because it's kind of what I was thinking in the back of my mind, like I I can't just sit here and listen to—

see, I did— I raised my children this way. I always told them if they would raise their voice, if they'd get frustrated, they'd yell at their mother, they yell at me, or whatever it might be. And children do these things, and teenagers do these things, and so on. And if they would ever direct those kinds of comments towards me, I would just put up my hand. I'd say, wait a minute, hold it right there.

I have too much respect for myself to allow anybody to talk to me in that fashion.

It isn't because I think you're so bad. It's just like, this is such an affront to who I am that I'm no longer going to allow this to do. And when I would raise my hand, put my hand up to like put a stop to that, it would stop. They know Dad doesn't put up with this because he respects himself. Now Mom has got to respect herself enough to be willing to do this because, you know, it's ultimately going to lead down an even worse road. It's going to— as long as he knows that he can get away with this and you're going to stick around, it'll continue. Continue, right? And you can do this very nicely and very quickly. When you— he starts behaving that way, you just get up, you go, you go get in the car, drive, uh, go, go for a walk, go into the bathroom if you can't, you know, just lock the door in there and just stay, you know, until he— it's— until it's over with. And you'll, you'll teach him very, very quickly that this is not something that I'm willing to tolerate for one reason and one reason only. I have too much respect for myself to allow anybody to talk disrespectfully to me. That's my advice.

Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I really appreciate that. I think I— yeah, I know exactly what, what I—

what you're saying. Yeah. And by the way, when you change the atmosphere like that and do that, you will impact him. If you react with anger to yourself and allow, you know, get into arguments and tell him I don't want to do this, then you have, you know, you may you have things that just get— that come out that you don't want to come out. You know, you have to remember that if, you know, you impact— you don't eliminate darkness in your life. And this is darkness that you're talking about. You don't eliminate darkness by throwing more darkness at it. You eliminate it by throwing light at it. And that's what I'm asking you to do, throw light at it. Like, teach him, I'm not going to allow myself to be placed into this darkness any longer. And it's like the line I've said so many times on this show over the years that, you know, when Jesus would walk into a village, just his presence in the village and nothing more would change the— elevate the consciousness of everyone in the village. You can elevate the consciousness of the people in your home by being a being of love and a being who refuses to allow this kind of behavior because you, you know, it's, it's darkness coming at light and light will always end darkness, but darkness never ends light. Right. Okay.

Okay. Yes.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, my dear.

God bless you in Kansas City. What's the temperature there? Oh, about 12.

About 12, maybe, if I'm lucky.

Yeah, I try not to go out there today, so.

Well, thanks for calling. I love, I love talking to you, and I hope that helps.

Oh, it does immensely. Yeah, you don't even know. So thank you so much.

Thank you, dear.

God bless you. Namaste. And let's see if we can get to a few other people. Some really good calls today. Interesting questions. And let's go to Jeanette on line 8, and she's calling from New Jersey. Hi, Dr. Dyer.

I'm so excited to hear your voice today. And we're— we're— it's snowing here in Montclair, New Jersey. We're stuck in the house. The kids are outside enjoying the snow. So I'm so excited we connected this today. I am too.

It's great to hear from you in New Jersey. Listen, I'm gonna— I'm gonna close all the lanes down to all the bridges in your state. State. Why does that—

what do you think? Oh boy, that would be—

that, that poor guy is really— he's really dealing with it now, isn't he?

Oh, he sure is. They're all coming out now. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But my question is, I, uh, just closed my, uh, toy store in October, and I've always read all of your books, have seen all your PBS specials, and have been trying to practice more and more what you talk about. And lately, um, I wanted to ask, how do you know when, like, you're actually connected to Source?

I just sometimes— I'm—

I know it's a wonderful warm feeling, but I wanted to hear your description of it when you do sit and meditate and actually connect.

Well, the truth is you're always connected. What you have to ask yourself is, what direction am I going? I mean, who you are, who all of us are, our Source energy, we, we have it within us. But the problem is that we walk away from it, you know. But it's like you can't walk away from what you are.

And what you are has a spark of God in you.

And the best way to know that when it isn't ego, because ego is the part, you know, it's like there are these two forces. The Kabbalah teaches us that there are two forces. There's the force of light and there's a force of dark. And it's all the same force. I mean, but basically it's like what direction is it going. When it is moving towards, oh, hatred and bitterness and anger and judgment and resentment and fear and anxiety and stress and pain and so on. When you are moving in that direction, it's still, and I believe this and have written about this myself, that it's still love, but it's moving away from, away from your source. Here's how I look at it. And then there's the other direction when you're moving toward it. So it's like, just picture the hands of a clock. Okay. And at the top is the, there's two hands on the clock. Okay. There's a minute hand and the hour hand, and you're born at when both of them are right at the 12, right? So you can get a little metaphor of this in your mind. So now the, the, not the hour hand, but the minute hand starts moving in the direction of towards, you know, away from its source. The hour hand stays there. That's your source. And you are now moving. So you go past the 1 and you go past the 2 and you're moving away from your, from your source. So this whole side all the way down to the 6 is each minute that goes by, or each hour, however you want to call it, that goes by. As you hit the 2, and as you hit the 3, 4, 5, this is all movement away from what you— where you originated. You originated from a source of love, of perfect love, a source of what we call oneness, which means there's no opposites. The opposite of joy when you're in the ego state is sadness, but when you're in divine love, there's opposite of joy. Everything is just joy, but you're not there because you're moving away. You're moving away until you get to the 6. And now you're at the 6, and this is when you're furthest away from your source. This is when you're at the lowest point in your life. This is when you feel that you've fallen as far as you can go. The anger, the hurt, the resentment, the pain is so deep there. And now you have a choice. You can either stay— you've moved away, moved away, moved, taken on all this ego, believe that who you are is all the stuff that you own and all the people that you're mad at and all the judgments that you have towards others. But now you're at 6. Now you can either stay there, because if the hand doesn't go backwards, it won't go back to the 5, 4. It doesn't work that way. You have to now start coming the other way. Now you're going to the 7 and the 8, and now you're coming home. And it's when you're on this side, when you're coming home back to where you originated from, you're heading back towards perfect love. And divine love is the kind of love that was your origination point. And this is when you know that you're connected. It's not whether you're there perfect, because as long as you're in a human body, there's going to be some separation. There's going to be opposites. And as long as you're on this planet, there's going to be east and west, north and south, and up and down, and male and female, and good and bad. All of these dichotomies that we all experience and these paradoxes. But ultimately, when you get back to the 12, when you rejoin it, what happens is you fuse these dichotomies and you're in a place where there's only love. There's no opposite. And as you start to look out at the world and see people behaving in certain ways, you still have only have love because that's all that you are. You are as you're connecting yourself back. And you'll find yourself slipping when you're at the 8 and when you're at the 9, at the 10. But the closer you get to reuniting yourself with your source of being, the more that you will experience just the feelings of bliss and love and kindness and joy. And when you're not, it's probably because you've got thoughts of judgment and criticism and condemnation towards some of God's children or some of the creations that we have or that you run into. And when you get rid of the judgment and the condemnation and the criticism, you're at the 7 and you're coming home. So the question isn't whether or not, you know, you're with your source. The question is, what direction are you moving? Are you moving away from what you originated from? Because when you originated— I just saw something that's gone viral on the internet that my kids sent me. I'm thinking about posting it. I did post it on my Facebook page. It's of a little baby. And, um, this baby is laughing at a dog that somebody's throwing popcorn at. This And the baby's maybe 7 or 8 months old, if that. And it's just laughing. It's just so— it can't stop laughing. It's like it's at such bliss that it's just laughter, laughter. And it's like, you know, William Wordsworth, a very famous English poet, said that our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting. Heaven lies about us in our infancy. And knowing that you're with Source is remembering who you are. You are, remembering where you came from, knowing that you don't— you know, when you came into this world, you had no judgment. You just, you know, you just were here and you were just accepting. And, and your mom put her breast in your mouth and you were just content and happy and gurgling and all of that.

And then you took on this ego, and then you started starting to believe, and then comparing yourself and trying to be better than other people, trying to accumulate more stuff than other people.

All of this is movement away.

And now you start coming home and you become more and more like God, which is really just where you become a being of sharing, because that's what God is.

You know, God just offers us everything in the universe, whatever it is. The source that we came from, it's just a source of abundance and it doesn't ask for anything in return. It just allows anything to be. And the more and more you find yourself doing those things, that's when you know you're reconnecting, or at least you're heading back to the source. And when you ultimately get back to the 12, this is when you just shed your body and we call it death, but this is the place that we call immortality. That's what Emily Dickinson called it. She says, because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me. The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality. This is when you start to realize that who you are is this, you're not a human being having a spirit experience. It's the other way around. You're this infinite spiritual being with a soul who's just having a little temporary human experience. And the closer and closer you get back to the 12, the more you know you're with Source. Long answer, but it's—

I hope that made sense. No, it did.

Beautiful. Thank you so much.

Oh, God bless you, dear. Thanks for calling today.

And we have just a minute, but I think time for one quick one. Okay.

Oh, I didn't realize it was that close. Okay. Yeah, just 3 minutes.

So let's grab Kent real quick from Toronto. Toronto. He's online too and has been very patient holding. And Kent, we have just a few minutes, but you're on with Dr.

Dyer. Oh, hi. Thank you. Hey, Kent.

Hi, how are you? I'm actually not in Toronto. I was in to come and see you in Maui in Divine Love last weekend, which I really enjoyed.

Oh, I'm so glad. What did you think?

It was great. And then, so I'm just staying with some friends in Honolulu, so I'm still enjoying your weather for now. Oh, that's nice. And then I'm going to go back to -25 soon, but no, I loved it because Because with, say, Scarlett and Ille Begiza, they were talking about forgiveness, which kind of reminded me to forgive myself and forgive others. And then with Anita and Mary, they were talking more about reminding me who I really am, which is divine love. But anyway, it was just great. It was just a great atmosphere. I really enjoyed it.

Do you have still the hangover effect of it? Are you still feeling it? Because it's been over a week for me, and I've just been walking around awash in like I'm in a bowl of soup that is called love. I mean, everything I look at, it really impacted me that way.

Yeah, no, it's just very, yeah, like a joyful state or a blissful state, or just constantly reminding me who I really am. So, not like I just loved the prior caller when you were talking about when I find myself in anger or frustration, to remind myself of compassion and kindness and joyfulness, and it takes me to another place. So, when you said about that Chapter 16, I really I've already read Mary's Chapter 16 and it's such a great reminder of who we really are. It makes me tingle when I read it, right?

Yeah, it's called "Out of the Blue," and Hay House—

I talked to Reid, who's the president of Hay House, and he's agreed that we're going to publish it.

We're going to help her get the first parts of it edited, but yeah, it's very, very powerful. Yeah, it's very seldom that I ever— go ahead.

No, I was just going to say I'm looking forward to that. I came to see you in San Diego, the taping of I Can See Clearly Now, so I'm looking forward to seeing that. I'll probably see myself in the audience next week. You will, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. That was very good too.

So, uh, oh, well, that was actually—

I had a great weekend. It was very enjoyable and it was a great feeling. So I just wanted to thank you for putting that on.

Yeah, I'm so happy that you were there.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, well, thank you very much. I'm so glad to hear from someone who was actually there. And to see if it had the leftover effect that it's had on me. You know, I just, I'm just seeing love everywhere, even in my sore neck. I'm seeing love. What about that?

I think I got a sore neck too, so I'll have to look for the love in that too.

Yeah, but that's— well, thanks for calling.

I just wanted to quickly call and thank you very much for that weekend.

Well, I thank you and I appreciate it. God bless you, my friend.

Very good. Some great callers, and we will connect next week.

I hope so. To watch another amazing Wayne Dyer video, check it out right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.

Dr.

Dyer, traveling all over, was all over Australia, and now you're back.

So did you just say Dr. Wayne— did you just say Dr. Wayne Dyer is alive? Is that yay, or did you say is live? I missed that.