74. Why I Never Shared My POTS Diagnosis: What A Diagnosis Does To The Subconscious Mind

Welcome to the That Healing Feeling podcast. I'm your host, Faith Ashenden, founder and CEO of That Healing Feeling, where we show you how to become a self-healer of mind, body, and spirit through nervous system regulation. Join me and thousands of my other students as I dive into the world of neuroscience, subconscious programming, energetics, and radical self-love. In this podcast, you will learn that your body and mind are are meant to heal, and that under the right circumstances, we can experience miraculous healing by leveraging our own internal infrastructure. Let me guide you as we challenge preconceived notions and outdated narratives and dive into the empowering world of self-healing. My intention is that you leave this podcast full of hope and actionable tools. So without further ado, let's dive in.

Hello and welcome back to the That Healing Feeling Podcast for a very special solo episode. So I'm actually recording this episode upstairs in our room, which is why it might sound a little bit different than usual. I'm having construction done in my house and it's very loud. My office is like right by the construction, um, so we— if you follow me on Instagram, you'll know, but we are like knocking down the walls of our kitchen and replacing it with glass bifolds so that we can open up the whole kitchen to the outside. So it is really cool, but also very loud. So I don't know, I'm hoping that we get this mic quality up to par, but the setup is a bit different, but I'm not going to let it hold me back from getting the content out there. So today's solo episode is unlike one I've ever shared before, and it's so funny because I had one of those moments last night where I woke up and I was like, oh, I have an episode idea. And the episode is why I never shared my POTS diagnosis with you guys. And I actually thought of sharing this because I've been getting a lot of DMs lately on Instagram, like, I have POTS. And then I started kind of saying, well, hey, I was told I had POTS too. And I realized, like, you know, I've never actually shared this on social media before. and people are probably going to be like, really, you have POTS? I had no idea. Why have you never told us? So I thought I would just like, you know, grab a matcha and kind of chat through my logic. So when I started first experiencing POTS symptoms, I thought they were just part of Graves' disease, and this was around 2020.

C—

let's see. No, gosh, what year am I on? Sorry, this was like around 2014. Okay, so I remember the first time that I passed out, and I was in Austin, Texas, where I was in school, and I was alone at home, and I just kind of associated all of the like kind of lightheaded symptoms and stuff with Graves', which, you know, has a whole host of issues. And at the time I was still knee-deep into a flare of 2 years. And that always, to me, Graves' disease was really like the big whammy in terms of my symptoms. And so, you know, I woke up on the ground, everything was black, and it was a weird feeling. I'm not going to lie. I do not recommend it. And I was like, okay, well, this is one of the many, you know, things that are wrong with me right now.

And as time went on and I got to 2018 when it all kind of came crashing down for me with a whole host of diagnoses that I've shared with you before, the cardiologist was like, have you ever considered POTS? And I was like, no. So if you have POTS, You know, you'll probably, um, have a similar experience where like nobody really knew what it was for a really long time. And you're like, oh, not everyone feels, uh, dizzy. Not everyone feels lightheaded and nauseous. What? Um, and no, in all seriousness, you get used to it.

Okay.

And so I was like, oh, so this isn't normal. This isn't how you're supposed to feel. This is not Graves' disease. So. When I sort of did the work that I, I did and I healed all of the symptoms I had, it sort of just healed everything in one fell swoop, right? So I could tell you that I had an IBS diagnosis or a chronic fatigue diagnosis or Graves' disease diagnosis or whatever, or even a POTS diagnosis, but the reality is I had a host of symptoms that were then reversed through the work that I teach. I also had things that, you know, symptoms that were not diagnosed, like chronic UTIs cystic acne and anxiety, um, or more functional diagnoses like SIBO and Candida overgrowth and stuff like that. So there was lots of different ways to kind of label the way that I was feeling. And again, looking back, it's funny because you see the signs, like my heart rate, um, was 181 per minute for, you know, after standing up, and it would kind of sustain itself that way. And I always just kind of thought that's because I was just a really energized person. And looking back, you just think like, what? But then again, they were like, oh, well, that can also be Graves' disease. It's actually funny 'cause as I'm telling you this story, that thought came to me 'cause I was at my cardiologist in 2012 when she said, how is your heart rate at 181? And I was like, isn't that normal? She was like, no. Um, so anyways, By the time I was given this, like, hey, this is POTS, I was like, I reject this diagnosis, literally. And it's funny because if you see what I share on social media, I do not share this diagnosis. Like, if you were to watch my webinars or look at my website, I don't actually put POTS on there. I just like stopped sharing. After chronic fatigue syndrome. I think after that I just am like, that's it, you know? And this is why. So as I was collecting diagnosis after diagnosis, what I would do is I would go on Google, and this was at the time, and I would Google that diagnosis and the associated symptoms. I would also go on like Instagram and find other people who've hashtagged it and like what they're going through. And I would start to identify with it and then like really label the sensations I had within my body. So for, let's say IBS, I would like start to look at all the pictures of people's bloating and pain and like think, oh my God, this is exactly what's happening to me. It would amplify within my reality and it would start to really connect the dots on all the symptoms that these people were experiencing. And then I would go out and buy Pepto and I would go out and buy Gas-X and I would say I have to take this and I would just really start to like embody and affirm whatever it was that I was reading about. And there was elements of that that was really validating because I'd been suffering for so long with all these symptoms that like none of my friends seemed to have. So it was like, you know, I remember like laying out with my friends and being like, oh, if I'm going to lay out, like I can't eat anything today. And they'd be like, oh, do you have an eating disorder? And I'd be like, you know, this was asked to me all the time. And it's like, no, but if I eat anything, I'm in pain. Like, I just, yeah, it was, you know, it was weird to think that I had these symptoms and it was validating to read that it had a name. And I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. But on the other side of it, it was really challenging because once it had an identity, I would adopt that and the realities of that identity would amplify within my reality. And all of a sudden this thing became a part of me. So instead of, oh, sometimes I am, you know, I'm still me, but I get bloated, it was like, I am a person who has this aspect of her identity. I am a person who bloats. Do you see the difference? One is like, oh, I'm just Faith and sometimes I have these problems. The other is, oh, I am this person who is these problems. Like, it's just part of who I am because this is my diagnosis. So that part of the subconscious that's separating you from occasionally having these symptoms is kind of the part of the subconscious that we need in order to heal. Like that kind of idea of I am separate then versus it is who I am now. And so giving it a name, while it feels very validating, what it does is it helps the subconscious adopt that identity within the reality and amplify the experience. So I started to learn this and see this even before I had like studied all this stuff that I studied. And I was like, I don't accept this diagnosis because I cannot handle one more diagnosis amplifying symptoms within my reality. And so that was when I started to heal, right? So I had started to kind of awaken to they're just going to give me labels but no solutions, really. That was the truth. And I started to, you know, do all the work I teach now within HTA, the Health Transformation Accelerator, and I healed. Now, I'm not saying this in a reckless way. Like, obviously, if your symptoms are dangerous, you have to take precautions. I still took precautions. I wasn't like, forget it, I'm gonna ignore my symptoms. Like, I still was like, yeah, hey, if something's dangerous, I need to know about it, and I'm gonna be like safe about it. And I was in close contact with my doctors, but there was something subconsciously happening where I didn't adopt on an identity level. And you see, when you adopt something on an identity level, you expect those symptoms to appear within your reality because they are part of you, versus, oh, this happens to me sometimes. You see, it doesn't need to be expected at this point, and you create a distance between yourself and that experience. So that was when I really started to learn that getting a diagnosis was almost very dangerous for our capacity for healing because the diagnosis became our identity. And the identity at that really high level of the mind is very important, you see, because if we identify with something, then our reality must obey. Our reality has to fall in line. So the job of the subconscious is to display a reality that is in alignment with our identity. So it's why people have such differing opinions and beliefs. They see reality through the lens of their identity. So when it comes to chronic illness, we have to be so careful. And when it comes to teaching my students within HTA, the people that I work with, the number one thing they'll tell you is that Faith's work really works because she helps you shift your identity. And on that identity level, what I get to the crux of is What do you identify as? Is it not just someone who's chronically ill, but also is it your specific diagnosis, right? Or someone who like, this is just in your genetic deck of cards, like what, like that your body is just fighting itself and that's like who you are as a person versus the difference being you are just you inherently healthy who's experiencing unwanted sensations. And there's a difference. And so there's a lot of conditioning that goes on here. The longer you've been sick, the more people in authority who have affirmed this aspect of your identity to you— so doctor showing you evidence that this is who you are— the more that we are creating that experience and amplifying it within our reality. There's a lot to this. Like, I could go into literally like a 5-hour podcast just on the impact of identity on physiology. But I really wanted to come on and tell you why I didn't share about my POTS diagnosis. Okay, so the reason why is because I didn't accept it. I was like, I have so many diagnoses and like, I don't want to accept one more because already it was a really big pile to like be underneath and it felt like a really high mountain to climb to get over to the other side and get my life back. And so I made a point then and there that no, no, no, no, this is not going to be who I am because I can't take another one of these situations in my reality, and I'm gonna start to separate myself. And it was when I made the decision and had the awareness to say, okay, I'm gonna go back to being who I was before I got my first diagnosis of Graves' disease in 2012. That version of Faith was faith. Like, she, she was just Faith, no strings attached. Perhaps in other elements there are, you know, elements of my identity, um, but my illness wasn't one of them. And that was the very moment in time, my friends, that punctuated time forever and sent me on a different trajectory towards what is now my life as a healed person. And I had to become her and shed the old identity, and that is hard. So I'm going to leave you with the two questions to ask yourself if you're looking to embark on this journey. The first question you want to ask yourself is, what hidden benefits are there for remaining in this identity of chronically ill? So subconsciously, we perceive benefits of a reality we think we consciously don't want. Because if we didn't think there were benefits, we wouldn't hold on to it. I'm going to say that again. If we didn't think there were benefits, we wouldn't hold on to that reality. So you want to ask yourself subconsciously— so it's not going to be conscious, my friends— what hidden benefits do I perceive in this reality of being chronically ill? And what perceived losses do I perceive in healing? One more time: what perceived losses do I perceive? I will I have in my reality if I heal, if I shift identity, right? So the subconscious thinks you will lose something when you change who you are fundamentally on an identity level. So you need to bring that to light. You need to bring what's been previously hidden into the light so you can shed truth on that, and then it won't be such a big deal and you can change your identity. This is the crux of the work that did to become a healed person and to hold health in my reality. It's why I didn't share the diagnosis and to this day don't really accept it. Um, and I play around with it, you know. You guys know my saying, it's called bend reality, right? So we play around with reality just a little bit from a subconscious standpoint so we can start to live the life that we deserve, a life where we feel good and have freedom. And if you're interested in this and this resonates with you, I recommend that you go to the link in the show notes and you sign up for the Health Transformation Accelerator. You can either go book an admissions call or you can sign up for the program direct. We're running the last one of 2024, and this is where we go into this work but like a million miles deep. It really is such a unique way to go about healing chronic illness because I feel like so many people are like kind of doing things like brain training or cognitive behavioral therapy and emotional release and all of these things that I think are really impactful individually, but don't necessarily get someone over the line to sustained healing. And I feel like because they're missing this component of— you're still operating as someone with your chronic illness trying to feel good. And as long as you operate like that, you're never going to really feel good because your reality is still one of someone with chronic illness. Do you see what I'm saying? And so when they get to me, we see so much success because they literally shift who they are as a person into the healed version of themselves. They make a decision, they become that person first, and then reality follows. It's just a law of the universe. It's inevitable. If you want something in your reality and you desire it, you must become that person. And how do you do that? You change your identity. So that still 100% applies to chronic illness. And there are so many ways we can do that. And, you know, I could probably record like 100 episodes on how to do that, but I want to start with this, like, on a fundamental level. Like, here's why I didn't share, here's why I didn't accept, and I wonder how that makes you feel and what's coming up for you. So share this episode on social media and tag me if this, like, sparked anything within you. And also, if you're interested in joining me in my hybrid coaching retreat, it is a virtual retreat, the Health Transformation Accelerator, where I guide you through 3 months of doing this exact work. You also get lifetime access. So there are so many layers of your identity that we can continue to shed over the next few years, however long you want to do the work. That really is going to like blow your mind as to what you could actually call into your reality by doing this work. So those links are going to be in the show notes for you. But either way, thank you so much for listening in on this episode. I love you so much, and I will See you on the next episode.