Accepting, Navigating, + Celebrating the Seasons of Life

We talk about learning along the way or learning life's lessons. And it's funny because I want to put a spin on this one for this episode. Learning more about yourself. Like a benefit of this seasons thing is this idea of learning more about yourself. Seeing life as seasons teaches you to look for what you can learn at any given point in time, good or bad. This way, you're always growing and getting to know yourself better in these situations that you have had to flow through, which makes life journey more meaningful. And you're also going to start to see repeat patterns. Been here, done that. This smells like. Looks like, hey, I made it through that time. I'm gonna make it through this time. Things start to scare you less, which, by the way, go back to the episode that we did on fear. Learning more about yourself might tie back to the fact of there could be a life with no fear or very minimal fear, because you literally are understanding how you can or how you have navigated through things, through seasons in your life.

Welcome back to beyond your Default. I'm your host, Liz Morehead, and as always, I'm joined by the one and only George B. Thomas. George, how are you this morning?

Liz? I am doing great. I've got my coffee. It is a fabulous season in life that we get to work together and do this podcast. I had dinner last night that had great seasoning on it. I think this episode actually might be a little spicy as we move into it. Anyway, I'll quit with the fun.

No, see, we just started recording. We need you to lean into the fun. We not leaning out of the fun.

Oh, in. Into the fun.

Okay, into the fun and into the spice. Because I completely agree with you about the spicy nature of this episode. You've already alluded to our topic this week. We're talking about accepting, navigating, and celebrating the seasons of life. And you know, George, sometimes when I say what I'm about to say, I'm saying it sarcastically as a goof. I'm saying this sincerely. You have always done an incredibly good job of leaning into uncomfortable topics when we have them.

Yeah.

And then also being radically honest on air with things like, I don't know why we're talking about this. Originally, I was very confused why we were talking about this. I get it now. Or this is making me feel uncomfortable. I need an adult now. It's my turn to do the same. Because when you said you wanted to have a conversation about the seasons of life, specifically you said, and I quote from being comfortable with the understanding that seasons Change that life changes. If anybody's ever seen the movie clue. When Mrs. White goes the flames. The flames on the side of my head. Like, I could feel myself becoming quite uncomfortable.

Yeah.

Which of course means this is exactly the topic that I need to be talking about. So this is me saying out loud, I'm nervous. I might need an adult.

Yeah.

Going into this conversation. Which of course means this is going to be a fan.

Yeah.

This could be great. And it's also perfectly timed as well. This is the first time I am recording in my brand new apartment.

I love it. It's a brand new season.

I woke up this morning for the first time having slept in my own bed since July 18, 2023. It was. And a brand new mattress. So like this new season came in comfortably. Even if the conversation is going to be uncomfortable now. Why am I uncomfortable about this? I think it's because the term seasons of life sound so like romantic and gentle and poetic. But the passage of time, the changing of seasons on our own life, when we notice them, it can feel jarring and confusing or even upsetting. So that's why this week we're gonna lean into this discomfort. Right. We're gonna lean into this conversation of learning how to acknowledge and accept and understand and ultimately celebr seasons. But George, I have to ask you personal question, maybe for the audience. This topic suggestion came out of nowhere on a Tuesday at 3:31pm via Slack. What prompted this?

Yeah, absolutely. So it's funny because this is not the episode that we are going to do. Next week's episode was going to be this week's episode. And then I was like, no, like we need to talk about this. And Liz, here's the deal. I was sitting in my leadership group listening to a conversation and. And by the way, when I see leadership group, I'm literally in a group of men, soon to be men and women, where we meet every Tuesday and or every other Tuesday and we just talk about where we're trying to go in life, what we're trying to do. These are like high achievers. I would call these folks high achievers trying to get the best out of life. They literally are folks who would potentially listen to or should listen to the beyond your default podcast. But I was sitting in my leadership group listening to a conversation between a couple of folks and I was sitting there and I started asking myself, don't they realize and embrace the seasons of life, like internally. I didn't like shout it out in the middle of the meeting or anything. And I was waiting, literally waiting for somebody to bring it up. And, like, I knew, like, in my heart of hearts, it was the filler to the gap in this individual's thinking of the world that they were actually living in. Like. Like there was a deep belief in, like, this conversation needs to happen, unless no one in the room brought it up. And one thing that I've been really paying attention to since the start of this podcast is the moments in my life when my brain is shouting things, and then I find silence from those around me, because when I find those moments, I'm like, oh, this needs to be a podcast episode. And so the fact that I was in this room with these types of people and this conversation wasn't something that just, boom, came to light. I was like, yeah, I need a slack, Liz, right now.

Let's back this train up a little bit, because we've been throwing around the term seasons of life.

Yeah.

Numerous turns. What does that mean? What do we mean when we say seasons of life? What is that?

Yeah, because it could be a very metaphorical episode.

Right.

But thinking about life like it's made up of different seasons helps me and hopefully helps us, the listeners, understand that life changes. I mean, just like the weather does. This way of us seeing things helps us get ready for and learn from each part of our life, whether it's a time for growing, enjoying success, reflecting on what's happening, or resting up, by the way, for what the frick is coming next. So for me, it's about having an understanding that change is constant and understanding there will be ups and downs in life, an understanding of freedom in the lack of control and the acceptance of these changes that are going to have to happen in life. And an understanding of our purpose, my purpose, your purpose in the seasons that you actually find yourself in. That there is a reason for that. That the understanding that things will come and go, but that we should be learning from all of these things that I'm mentioning along the way. There's a season for everything, by the way. There's a great quote, Liz, by Jared Brock. You brought it up in the show notes because. Which I feel like sometimes I'm cheating because you always put good quotes in there. And I'm like, ah, let me go look for some more. But this one, I was like, yeah, this actually. This actually fits really good. And so, Jared Brock, there's a season for everything under the sun, even when we can't see the sun. Meaning life might get dark, our life might get dark, but at the end of the Day, growth and renewal, nurturing and thriving, reflection and transition, rest and rejuvenation are all seasons of life. Just like spring, summer, fall and winter. And I said it that way on purpose, Liz, because otherwise I would sing the song that I absolutely love. Winter, spring, summer, fall. Right, But I'm just going to say spring, summer, fall and winter and spring. The way I like to think of this is it's spring is all about the flowers coming up and you know, winter's going away and it's this idea of growth and renewal. So listeners, are you in a season of spring? Spring, right. Think of this as your fresh start. It's a time to be curious, try out new things and make changes. Just like everything around us is waking up and growing in spring. Liz literally this morning you're talking about being in your new place, in your new bed. This is a season of spring for you. It is a new beginning. Right after that we have summer. And this is a time of nurturing and thriving. Summer's when you take care of what you started in spring and help it grow. It's about doing your best, enjoying your achievements and feeling good about your progress in work and life. And of course, fall, or some weird people might call it autumn, I call it fall. I don't even understand like where the word autumn came from, but it's reflection and transition. And so autumn is a time to reflect on your work and decide what's important to you. Is it about figuring out what to keep and what to let go, making room for new things to come? Because trust me, new things are going to come. And if we keep diving into this metaphorical like relationship, winter is this rest and rejuvenation. I mean, listen, we've all talked about or heard about the bears and them literally laying down and resting for the winter. But winter is for taking a break, looking inward, especially when times are tough. It's about saving your energy, thinking about your experiences in healing so you're ready when spring comes back around, when that new thing shows up and you've got to go through that journey. When you realize that these four seasons exist in the fabric of your life, you can lean into your purpose, Liz, and the power of perspective. Because now you have these quadrants of life and a lens that you can start to look at them. And each season offers a chance to reassess our direction and our purpose. And this mindset involves maintaining, and this is the thing that most of us humans really suck at, involves maintaining a long term perspective and understanding that each season that we're going through. Each season that we've gone through contributes to the overall personal growth and fulfillment that we're all on this journey of a life beyond our default.

Well, I was just looking up for you. It's called autumn. It's a Latin word. It refers to the falling of the leaf. Originally, a lot of people just called fall fall, but there were those who stuck to the Latin term of autumn. We also have the autumnal equinox.

I love that, though, that you did that with the words. Because the falling of the leaf, my brain immediately goes to the shedding of the old.

Right.

And when you shed off the old, you're making room for the new. And so that is a very like. Actually, maybe I do like the word autumn now.

Yep, I love it. It's my personal. Because I feel so fat. Autumn. Well, the other thing you have to keep in mind about autumn, too, is it's not. I think a lot of times people think of it just as the leaves are falling, things start diving. Now, autumn is the time of harvest. So if you go to a lot of farms and wineries, that's when you are. That's when you are reaping what you.

Have sown throughout the spring and summer.

That's the fun phase.

Again, I love the beautiful terms and the beautiful ways you've described the different seasons of life. And when I think about and. And when I think about seasons of life, I think sometimes we don't realize they're always happening. And that's where it gets a little bit tricky. I think sometimes we can literally have a superficial understanding. Like, for example, I knew today was coming. I knew this would be the first morning I was going to wake up. And I am living in a new season of life. But I think sometimes we forget all.

Of the different ways that can manifest.

In our lives, Right? It can be due to something big, like a big life event. Death, divorce, new job, new career, the sun setting, or the beginning of a friendship or a connection, things like that. I had a very interesting experience recently where a friendship just didn't make it, you know, and it happened so slowly that I didn't even realize that it had happened. And I was talking to a friend.

Of mine about it because my.

My feelings were a bit hurt. And I said, you know, I just.

I don't understand how this happened. You know, it was a friendship I had tried to continue to nurture.

It was, you know, I was really.

Putting the effort in, especially given all the changes that have been happening over the past year. And A friend of mine said, well, Liz, you need to ask yourself, is the person you're mourning, do they frequent the rooms you are now walking into, or do they frequent the rooms you.

Used to be in?

And that I felt. And she said, and that is no disrespect to that person.

Right, right.

You know, that is.

That doesn't mean you don't celebrate what that friendship was or the fact that it was here for a season and.

Everything that it gave to you.

But you need to be honest with yourself.

Are they where you are walking to.

Or where you are walking from that?

So, yes, yes, I know.

I wish I could take credit for that.

Can't. Thank you, Jenny.

That was delightful.

Really appreciate it.

Jenny, you're awesome.

Thank you, Jenny. So when we talk about seasons, I think there are different types of seasons, and I think it's. This is where it gets a little bit tricky for some. Which leads nicely into my next question. George, I love how poetically you've spoken about it, which makes me wonder, George, have you ever struggled with this? Have you ever struggled with acknowledging the changes of seasons in your life?

I mean, yeah, until I realized this truth in my own life, everything felt like this unending flow of chaos and disorder. It honestly felt like I was swimming upstream for the first part of my life, Liz. Like I was trying to do the wrong things in the wrong seasons of my life. There was a lack of life clicking of it all making sense. You know, the things being in a rhythm. I mean, it was like I was fighting the things that I mentioned earlier as kind of this understanding that change is constant and things like that. It's almost like a yin and yang, like if you understand that change is constant. I wanted everything to stay the same when in reality they shouldn't. I talked about an understanding there will be ups and downs, and I was not preparing myself for the hills of the roller coaster of life. And life was taking me by surprise. I talked about an understanding of freedom in your lack of control and acceptance of these changes. And listen, I used to hold on real tight. I wanted everything and everyone to be, dare I say, perfect, which is just not even a reality. And I talked about an understanding of your purpose in the seasons you find yourself in. And I was not living a life of purpose at all. I was living a very selfish life, which now seems very foreign to who I am and how the world sees me showing up. But it was a true fact. I talked about the understanding that things will come and go. There's a state of flow that rhythm. But to live in a state of flow, there has to be movement. This movement is these things coming in and going out of you, your brain, your life. And listen, I'm not surprised maybe that it wasn't mentioned in the room. I'm saddened that it wasn't mentioned in the room. I'm sad that more people probably haven't tied into this. I feel like it's one of the things that I definitely want to bring to the world, which, again, is why we're having this podcast episode. But the simple answer is yes. I've struggled in it with so many different ways. But, Liz, I'm curious. Like, you seem like you might just be like the seasonal of all seasons person. Like, have. What are you. What are your thoughts on this?

I don't know if this is a poster child.

No, not a poster child moment.

No, I don't know if this is a poster child label I should be grateful for or if I should have deep concerns that should come up in therapy about this. You know, when I think about it, it reminded me a lot of our conversation last week when I got up on my soapbox and started reading everybody the riot act about. You say you want all of these different things in your life. I'd like you to look at your life in its current state and tell me whether or not there's any room for it.

Yes.

Now, the only reason I could read that riot act to everybody is because I have been such an egregious criminal in that way of just not leaving room for the thing. Things that I either know are meant for me or the things that I really want in my life. And what was funny is why was last year so wild? Because I finally got serious about what my values are, who I really wanted to be in this world, how I wanted to show up, what all of these different pe. And the moment that happened, I woke up to everything in my life that was. Oh, I see you're having a moment, George. What is it?

Well, I didn't want you to stop. But it's funny because when you use the term woke up, and there is something about what we're talking about today in that term of like, waking up or waking yourself up. This is one of these conversations where I feel like it's. You have to be. And I don't mean, like, woke, but I mean, like, you have to be awake to understand that this is like a fundamental thing. Thing that is happening. But I love this idea, by the way. I also want to applaud you for this past year has been an amazing journey for you, by the way.

That's. That's a term for it. Yeah, yeah.

So. So first I'm gonna applaud you, and then I want the listeners as you continue to think about this idea of thus far in my life, how much of it have I been. And we'll use air quotes here, asleep or awake.

Oh, yeah, because the term I'm about to use is I was sleepwalking.

Yeah.

I was going through all the motions of being awake. I was going through all the motions, like, oh, these are the things I'm supposed to want. These are the clothes I'm supposed to wear. These are the people I'm supposed to hang out with. These are the things. This is what success is supposed to look like. To the point where I was ignoring every alarm, intuitive red flag that was screaming at me that something was. That the call was coming from inside the house. Right. Let's just put it that way. And what I found fascinating about this whole experience is that it was just this. Well, you say you want all of these things. Where's the room? Okay. You say you really want things. Now we're going to create the room for it. So I think in some ways, I've struggled with seasons for a couple of reasons. One, it can feel like giving yourself an amputation while you're wide awake. Right. It hurts like hell, but the limb has got to go because it's going to kill you. So sometimes you move through different seasons in life because you are the one who is saying whatever this situation is is no longer tenable and it's time to move forward. That's a bit more of, like, a brute force approach. And I've struggled with that in a way. I think a lot of human beings would struggle with it. It's hurtful. It's painful. I felt like there were two, three months last year. I'm like, every other statement out of my face was, I'm sorry. I'm cleaning up old Liz's mess. Like, there's just. There was a lot going on there. But then there are also seasons that are genuinely more gentle. Right. The passage of time moving into, you know, different, exciting seasons of life. But sometimes the reasons why they are so painful and why I've struggled with them is that they are bittersweet. Like, there's this song I. That every time I hear it, it makes me want to cry. It's that song, you know, we'll meet again don't know when you can. You can feel the Passage of time in every single note. And it kind of. Even that horrible rendition that I just did very briefly, like I could feel my heart constrict. And I think when we're younger, we think we have so much more time. And I can't remember if what I'm about to tell you, something you and I talked about offline or if it's something I said when we were on. When we were recording last week. But my dad used to tell me, at some point, Liz, you're going to cross a line where you have more yesterdays than tomorrows.

Yeah.

And I'm starting to cross into that. You know, I hope that I'm still kind of more that halfway point. But, you know, that is every day is a gift. But I think that's the other reason why people can struggle with it quite a bit, is that there are the painful ones, the painful endings that bring about the beautiful beginnings. Right. The winters that we have to go through in order to go through the.

Springs and to come back around.

But I think also some it, like sometimes it just sucks sometimes, you know, you. You like that friendship that died. There was no big drama. There was no big backstabbing. It was just the natural of.

Oh, that was for a season.

Yeah, it's. It's funny because when you do start to think about these seasons, it is progression over time. Right. The leaves are green. The leaves are green. The leaves are green. Oh, they're starting to turn. They're kind of turning. Oh, they're turned. It's not something that always has to be like this immediate flash. But, Liz, I want to unpack a couple things you said when you said, I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to. Ladies and gentlemen, when you start hearing in your own brain or start telling yourself the narrative of the list of supposed to's, I would warrant that as a DEFCON 4 warning, like, red light should be going off. Your brain should be freaking out. And Liz, you even kind of said it, and I think it's a good lesson for the listeners to learn is if you go through a season of I'm Supposed to, you're probably going to end up in a season of I'm sorrys.

Oh, yeah, let me tell. In fact, let's take a little detour here for a second and I'll make this brief. A season of I'm sorrys, once again, sounds very poetic and romantic. And I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Here's the thing. I wouldn't take that Season back. I wouldn't take any of this pain back. Because if we were to look at my life one year ago when you and I were recording Hub Heroes. Cause we hadn't started this podcast yet.

Yep, yep.

I was recording from a very large half million dollar house that I shared at the time with my husband. Everything on paper looked absolutely perfect. And if we were to flash forward to where I am right now, you might be wondering, why is this the first time she's waking up in her own bed since July 18th?

Yeah.

Now, I've made no secret of the fact that I just went through a divorce. But the reason why this is the first night I woke up in my new loft apartment, which, by the way, is not a big million dollar house. It's a cute artist loft apartment in downtown historic Annapolis. But it is definitely a downsized difference. The reason is because once I realized what I had done, that I was sleepwalking, I realized I didn't trust myself to make the right decisions for myself yet. So I had to rehabilitate my ability to know what is what I wanted for me in a way that was rooted in my values and my purpose and what it is I actually wanted versus what I thought I was supposed to want. And I didn't trust to make myself the make those big life decisions for myself until what, like, October. November.

Yeah.

I threw everything I owned in storage.

And said, I need to learn how to be Liz.

Yeah.

And it was dark and scary. But one of my favorite quotes that we have for this episode that I found after the one from Jared Brock is, if you feel stuck, move, you're not a tree. So we talk a lot about metaphors.

About growth and leaves and stuff, but.

We do have to remember we have the ability to effect change in our own lives.

So that was just.

I just wanted to share that little side tangent there about that because, see if I'm sorry sounds cute, but, you know.

Yeah, no, and I didn't mean it as cute, but I do. Before you move forward, I. Again, you're. You're dropping like these kind of hidden micro bombs and. Listeners, I want you to realize sometimes in life, what I heard from Liz is that you might have to live in a downsized environment to live an upscaled life.

Yeah. This is the happiest I've ever been. This is the happiest I have ever been. I have never felt more authentic. I have never felt happier. This is a. Now, granted, it is literally spring now, so do I have to pump myself full of Zyrtec to breathe? Yes. 100. Absolutely. Am I still a bit of a janitorial cleanup crew from some of the. From some of the choices I had made previously? Yes. And it's worth every sweep. It's worth every sweep. So I'm curious. Let's get me out of the hot seat here for a minute. Getting a little sweaty over here.

I like when you're in the hot seat.

I know, which is why I'm going to ask you, when your attitude shifted about seasons of life, were there any catalyst moments or was it just a seasonal progression over time?

Actually, yes, but let me explain it. Let me explain. So you know how, Liz, you can hear something or see something, but it doesn't become real to you until like a certain magical time in your life? Ecclesiastes. And I share this with you in, like, preparation for this episode. Ecclesiastes 3, 18 is that story for me, because as a recovering youth pastor, as somebody who went to school to be a pastor, like, I had seen this scripture, read this scripture, like, seen it on, like posters and all sorts of stuff, like, in the world. But, you know, it goes like this. For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. Time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted. Time to kill and a time to heal. A time to break down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. Time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to seek and a time to lose. Time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to sew and a time to keep silence and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. And Liz, when I saw your question, this question, and I knew that I had like, referenced the scripture, I was like, crap. This is. This might be anti climatic because I know what Liz is looking for. Liz is looking for this catalyst moment in my life where all of a sudden it like, happened. But I'll just answer this way there in my mind at least at this point, because I tried to go and dig up the, like, dirt, right? And see, like, was this. I appreciate that, but there's not a single time to point to here. But I can tell you it has happened mostly between my hospital stay for my high blood pressure, that we've talked about on this podcast of three and a half days with, you know, devices and all of that good stuff. And when I was diagnosed with RA about four, maybe four and a half years ago.

Rheumatoid arthritis.

Yeah.

And there's something interesting that happens the older we get. The universe has a fun way of showing us just how human we are. And for most of my young life, I ignored or ran from the fact that I was human. I lived more like I was invincible, superhero, like just I. I can do anything. I'm unbreakable, unstable, unstoppable. But there's something very freeing about understanding your own humanness, how you actually fit into the world and how seasons will come and go. And that scripture, to be honest with you, the older I get, the more it becomes like reality or real in my life. So, again, not a big catalyst moment, but much like the leaves turning from green to. To the beautiful colors that they are, this has been a progression over time in the realization of life. Would be a lot easier if you would just realize there is a season for everything. And the more you can be in that moment, be in that season, enjoy and learn and grow from that season, the better off you're going to be.

You know, I appreciate that you know me so well that you can spot the question a mile away of, I see what you're trying to do here, Liz. I see what you're trying to do here. But I also deeply respect your answer because whenever I throw out a question like that, I also know that there's a 50, 50 chance you're just gonna swing around and go, well, what about you? Yeah, right. What I find interesting.

Should have done that.

Well, no, but to be. In all fairness to you, when I sat with that question myself, I think the realization is that we have to go back to the metaphor of the seasons actually turning. Think about the moment when summer starts to turn to fall. We do not wake up on September 24, and all of the leaves have dropped and everything is all of us. We have gone from swimming pools and sunshine to cider and scarves. Like that doesn't happen.

Ooh, I like cider and cigars.

I like how you heard cigars. And I 100% said scarves.

Oh, I thought you said cigars.

But what.

Wait, could we do all of it? Can we do this fall to honor?

I'll come down to Charlotte, we'll scarves.

Garves, cigars inside her.

Yes, that sounds like a great day.

But think about this, how the seasons actually change. It's always by slow degrees. It is never this overnight thing. And I think that's what I think. Even though intellectually as humans we understand that. In practice though, I think we get very confused. Like if we look back at the friendship that I was just speaking about, when I look back I'm like, oh, that season has been changing for some time now. And when I look back over this past year, I didn't know it was a season of growth and finding my values and finding the life I thought I was in hell. Like I thought my life was ending like it was. Even though intellectually I knew. I'm like, well, unless you wake up the next day and you've exploded, you're going to wake up the next day and keep going forward. I think when we are inside of a situation, it is very hard to maintain situational awareness of what's happening. I also think in general, you know, you and I had a conversation last week about how humans, we can be a little self centered, we can act as if we are entitled to or possess a greater understanding than what we are supposed to have or what we are actually capable of. You don't know whether or not you are at the beginning, middle or the end of a chapter until it has actually happened. And you will not often understand the context of those chapters until you have moved into the next one to see how events and people and places and things start building upon each other. So in all fairness to you, when.

I sat with that question, I think it makes a lot of sense. I think we can have jarring micro moments where we are reminded of the passage of time, our humanity, our limitations. But I think sometimes we don't know what the story of a season is until we are able to zoom out through the passage of time in order to possess more context.

Such a great point. Such a great point that last. Like ladies and gentlemen, take what Liz just said, stick that in your brain for just a little bit longer because we're gonna, we're gonna come back to that little point right there.

So why do you think, you know, we spend a lot of time talking about ourselves. Why do we struggle with it? Because we think we're invincible. Amazing people who do all the cool things and whatever. Whatever. Yeah, you've spent a lot of time, you are a consummate observer of human behavior. Why do you think others struggle to accept or celebrate the seasons of life? Because you just observed this yourself in the wild.

Yeah.

And I think there's numerous, maybe endless possibilities. But I want to talk about a couple at least on the podcast, that I think are the ones that people might connect. Listen, when someone goes through something really tough, like losing someone they love or experiencing something very painful, it can be hard for us, them to see these tough times as just part of life's journey. They might find it difficult to find anything good in these moments or to accept that these hard times are something everyone goes through at some point in time.

Right?

So, Liz, how do I find positive learning lessons from almost dying when I was in the Navy? How do I come up with the reason for a motorcycle accident at Faith Ranch? How do I come up with a story and a belief structure around, why am I not seeing God's blessings in my life that then turns around and. And turns me into the blessing bomber? Like, why can I look at the fact that, you know, being in the hospital for three and a half days was a season. There was a reason for that season. And the fact that I wake up every day with rheumatoid arthritis, that reminds me just how human I am. Like, how can that be a good thing? But it. But they are. Like, in all of them were tough. Like, all of them were stressful. All of them were times that if I chose to be a different type of human, I wouldn't go back and reflect on and I wouldn't get that the lessons and I wouldn't be able to structure the stories, and I wouldn't be able to impact the world. But for many of us, it is a thing of, I just don't want to go back there. I don't want to think about it. I got to just keep moving forward. People find comfort in things also staying the same. I talked about, I got to keep moving forward because I don't want to look back. But there are other of us that just are like, listen, you might get some scared when life starts to change, just like the seasons do, right? Like, Liz, you even said, when I said, hey, I want to talk about seasons, you're like, but, yeah, thanks.

I hate it.

Yeah, yeah, but you're living through the seasons, right? And it can be tough for some folks to let go of a really good time in their life and accept that things are moving into a new chapter. Listen, when I was at the Sales Lion, I thought it was the most amazing time ever. I thought that it couldn't get any better than that. There are certain times in my life, like when I joined the Navy and I was, like, traveling the world, like, oh, I'm gonna do this for all of my life. I don't want this to ever change, but guess what? It. It changed. Like, and if you listeners think back, there are times where you're like, oh, this is so great. I just want it to last forever. You can't be stuck in this belief structure that it will because it won't. And when you are stuck there, then you don't prepare yourself for that new chapter. And again, if I just double down on, some people might not realize, like, and I don't mean in like, you're aloof type sense, but like, some people might not realize that life naturally goes through ups and downs. Like, I love this song, by the way. Torn Wells, Hills and Valleys. I mean, I get emotional every. I've sang that at the top of my lungs so many freaking times. And I get so emotional because it's like the true understanding of these hills and valleys in our life or these ups and downs. And if, if you are one of those folks who haven't tuned into this program and you're. You're not aware that this is what's going to happen, I mean, you might think that changes or tough times are just random acts of unfairness instead of just a normal part of life's rhythm. And when you realize they're a normal part of life's rhythm, like, there's no shocker anymore. And when you take the shock out of the scenario, you just navigate it differently. It hits differently. You're like, oh, well, but of course. And how many times are you saying in your life right now, oh, no? Or, well, but of course that happened.

I know. My favorite is, well, of course that happened. Sometimes that comes in the form of, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions.

Great.

You know, it was funny, I. When you first said you won't be shocked by much anymore, I was like, well, wait a minute.

No.

Because sometimes, like, health crises, things like that. But if I think, if I, If I think about the events of the.

Past 18 months or so, I actually.

Started getting to a point where if something happened that was negative, I wouldn't in a very negative way go, well, of course. Like Eeyore, I'll go. That kind of makes. Yeah, this tracks. This, this kind of. This makes sense of how we got here.

There's a next level to that, by the way.

Oh.

Because I've gotten to the point where that kind of stuff will happen and I'll just giggle. Like, I'll just be like, well, here we go. Buckle up. Time.

The universe is a great way of balancing things out. And Once I started looking at it that way, like, why am I happy to be the janitor crew of my own life right now? You know, granted, it's a lot less messy than it used to be. There are still little things that will pop up where I'm like, oh, yep, I feel like it's a privilege that I get to do that in my own life.

Yeah.

The other thing I will say is there's another quote from Mehmet Murat Ildin. Spring and summer are the ones that want winter to come the most because spring and summer owe their beauty to winter. Don't be sad when winter comes to your life. Those winters will make your spring and summer more beautiful. I will tell you my relationship with the things that make life beautiful, what we're taught, whether we're talking about material or physical or abundance or relationships and connections, my life was, on paper, much more abundant this time last year. I feel like I now have much more respect and love for the right abundance in my life now because of the winter I forced myself to walk through.

So, yeah. There's another piece, though, that I want to talk about here very briefly before we go into our next question about why I think some may struggle to celebrate seasons of life. And this goes back to our episode on toxic positivity, because you and I had a very long conversation about how we are both growth mindset oriented people. We believe in being productive about our emotions. We believe it very firmly of being the victor, not the victim in our own lives, and that that is a choice. The flip side of that, however, and we've seen this become much more commonplace in a lot of growth mindset circles where there's a demonization of negative emotions. Because look, ladies and gentlemen, we're not sitting here saying that if you experience something jarring in your life, a genuine health crisis, something truly tragic happens in your life. A death, a divorce, something that came out of nowhere. Even if you are able to say, well, well, well, if it's not the consequences of my own actions, or you understand logically how we got from all.

Point A to point B, we're not saying you have to like it immediately. You are allowed to sit with those emotions.

You are entitled as a human being.

To live your emotional experience the way you need to move through it.

Was I thinking about seasons of life last year?

No. No, I wasn't.

I was just trying to take a.

Breath and feel like I could do it every single morning. I wasn't thinking about the context of greater things.

So I think sometimes the Reason why people struggles to see the seasons is.

Because they're still in the middle of the seasonal change. And that's okay. You do not always have to find.

Purpose and context when you are in.

The middle of the trauma, when you're in the middle of the pain. I remember last year I was starting to try to write about this trauma because I'm a writer and I knew this was something I was going to write about. This is why we started doing this project together.

And I realized I couldn't write because you can't write a story you're still living. You can't process and make a purposeful thing out of a trauma you are still experiencing. Anyway, that was my little thought.

No, I love that thought. All of that thought. The only little piece for me. And again, I fully understand that I may have been made differently, but there might be people who can connect with this is. Even if I am going through the season of chaos, I still find comfort in the realization of that it's a season, meaning I know that it's not going to last forever. I know that it's going to end. I know that something else is going to happen. Right. And so there is this level of. While I, yes, I might have to reflect on it in a historical standpoint, in the moment, in the trenches, I can find that peace, that comfort, that understanding that this too shall pass.

Agreed. I agree.

Be a new season.

So I completely agree with that. What's funny is I made reference to something I called the bomb rule earlier, which is like, well, Liz, unless you explode, you're going to wake up the next morning. The other half of that rule is that and at some point, six months from now, whatever you're dealing with right now will in some way be resolved. You may be dealing with spicy new challenges, spicy new problems, or maybe these will have evolved into something else. You don't know. But life is going to keep moving forward. But also remember, George, I have to call you out here.

Oh boy.

You even have micro moments though where you are very much in the middle of it. And when I say you're in the middle of it, it doesn't have to last months or weeks. It can just be the moment where your wife had to remind you, sir, you are going to the hospital. You will not be taking a meeting right now.

Yeah.

That is a lack of acceptance about what is happening.

Yeah.

I don't disagree. I don't.

This is why we love Kelly. She keeps us in line.

Yes, she does.

So what are ways in which others can Shift their thinking around the seasons of life concept.

Yeah.

So, I mean, hey, listen, let's just start out with the fact that we're having this conversation, because I just wanted those who might not even be thinking about seasons of life as an unlock for their lives and their personal growth journey to see it. Like, if you can see it, understand it, you can then start to use it or leverage it when you do need those moments of comfort or peace, or you're trying to devise a plan for the next several seasons of your life to, like, be ahead of the game. But there are four things that I want to pull out of this conversation today that hopefully the listeners pay attention to or embrace because I've just found them very useful over time. So. And it's funny because we're talking a lot about when times are rough, but, I mean, I think some of this also is, like, when the times are good, there's like, this opposite side of this conversation. But even when times are tough, try to think about the good things that you have. Right? This can help you feel more positive and less focused on the bad stuff. And what I'm talking about here is. Dang on it. Find ways to be thankful. Like, if you can just have this rooted. I am thankful that I woke up. I am thankful for the cool breeze. I am. And again, I'm. I'm purposely saying micro things. I'm not thankful that I won the lottery. Although if I won the lottery, I probably would be thankful. But. But my point is this idea of, like, micro, like, I'm glad that I woke up and can do this or think this or be this or even the fact that I can be on a journey beyond my default. Like, there's some people that can't say that. And so just this idea of being thankful, you know, the listeners know I love me some good quotes. And I definitely love I love me some good water quotes. I love me some good Bruce Lee water quotes. I'm not going to use one right here, but what I am leaning into is the fact that remembering that change is just a part of life. And when you accept that and you see the good things change can bring, it's easier to deal with new situations. And what I'm talking about here is, ladies and gentlemen, if you can get a healthy ability to go with the flow, right? Go with the flow. I always say be the water, not the wall in my life. Right? Like, if I can just go along with the flow, then it's going to be a lot easier than I might have Thought that it was going to be. The other thing that I want to talk about is paying attention to what's happening right now instead of living your life in the future. Worries about what's gonna happen or the past, worries of what already happened. The now. Van Halen song, I think, right now, right?

Yeah.

Good tune. But this can help you feel more at peace and less stressed. So I would literally say, live in the now. That's what I want you to think about. And then the other thing that we'll talk about is life is a set of experiences, and every experience, whether good or bad, can teach us, can teach you something. And if you think about what you can learn from different situations, you can grow and get better from them. And so this is the fundamental principle of why we're here on this podcast is. Is about growth and a growth mindset. And so learn from what happens in your life. Just don't get past it and forget it.

Right?

So, again, be thankful, Go with the flow. Live in the now, and learn from what happens along the way. These are four things that, when you align them together that I think make this concept of seasons, this idea of ups and downs, things happening, of change, just a little bit more easier to navigate.

I love the part that you mentioned about gratitude, because I remember in other, harder seasons of my life, whenever somebody told me to talk about three things that you're grateful for, I just feel like, we go away. Will you go away? Like, stop it. I don't want to. I don't want to. But when I think about last summer.

Why is that, though?

I think sometimes we don't want to feel like our feelings are being diminished because I was talking with somebody about this this weekend, and he said, I always get really frustrated when I express an emotion. He was speaking generally, not to me, and he said, I get frustrated when I'm upset about something. And somebody, well meaning, says to me, well, remember, somebody else has it a lot tougher than you. Can't I just have my feelings. I think it kind of leans a bit into that toxic positivity. He's like, yes, that may be true, but I'm having a genuine earned feeling right now about my life and my own lived experience, and you are trying to move me out of it. I also just think as human beings, we're fussy little creatures who are like, I don't know if you've ever seen that meme. It's of an angry little penguin. He's like, well, now that you've told me to do the Thing I want.

To do now, I don't want to do it.

You know, I think we're just genuinely fussy creatures. But when I think about the darkest moments. Last summer, I started naturally practicing gratitude as a way to keep from losing my mind. For example, I have made no secret of the fact that when we first started this podcast, I was like, yes, I'm the person to talk about, you know, personal growth and wellness. I'm doing great. But I remember there would be a couple of mornings of, I'm genuinely grateful for George and his friendship, because I.

Think I would have lost my mind. And I'm also grateful for the fact that I have this 7:45am thing on Monday morning, because I'm not sure I would have gotten up.

Interesting.

I mean, I'm sure I would have because I had to work. But, you know, it was one of those things where, like, you start finding gratitude, and it doesn't have to be gratitude. Like, I now see my beautiful life as this masterpiece in motion. No, it could still be hell, Gina. You could just be thankful for the guy who remembered to give you coffee. Like, it doesn't have to be these big things. Things you can start small, and then gratitude expands when you practice it.

I need to know if there's really a Gina in your life or not.

No, I just really like the name Gina. Basically, what you hear me periodically doing is shouting out the female names I sometimes wish I had, because Liz just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Oh, that's funny. That's.

You can't.

Liz. Like, it just has the same thing.

As, like, a Susan or Gina.

Like, yeah, it's not there.

There's a little punch to those other ones.

Moxie.

So what are the benefits you see of embracing this kind of mindset, of leaning more into the seasonality of life?

Yeah, and they're gonna kind of. By the way, it's gonna kind of rhyme a little bit with what we've already talked about.

Right.

But it is the leaning into the benefit side of this. Like, enjoying the. Now, I know I mentioned that in the last segment that we talked about, but when you start thinking of life, like, seasons, it helps you enjoy what's happening right now in the moment. Like, I am loving this episode. I am enjoying the time that we're spending together. I am excited about what people are gonna hear and learn. I'm not thinking about my next meeting. I'm not thinking about, you know, waking up this morning. I'm just. I'm like, here. Whether it's that you're growing. Whether you're taking a break or thinking things are over, you can find joy in the moment. And this makes life feel fuller and more enjoyable, which we're all like. Again, I think I said on maybe it was last week's like, what are people really looking for? Maybe the week before. But like, I just want to be happy. Well, okay then enjoy the now and you will probably be more happy. We talk about learning along the way or learning life's lessons. And it's funny because I want to put a spin on this one for this episode. Learning more about yourself self Like a benefit of this seasons thing is this idea of learning more about yourself. Seeing life as seasons teaches you to look for what you can learn at any given point in time, good or bad. This way you're always growing and getting to know yourself better in these situations that you have had to flow through, which makes life journey more meaningful. And you're also going to start to see repeat patterns. Been here, done that. This smells like looks like, hey, I made it through that time. I'm gonna make it through this time. Like, things start to scare you less. Which, by the way, go back to the episode that we did on fear. Learning more about yourself might tie back to the fact of there could be a life with like no fear or very minimal fear because you literally are understanding how you can or how you have navigated through things through seeing seasons in your life. I think a benefit is the fact that you can just stay hopeful when you focus on the good that each season can bring. You stay hopeful even when times are hard, which Liz, you've had hard times. I've had hard times. Remembering that good times are just around the corner. I alluded to this earlier, right? This too shall pass, by the way. If it's a hard time, this too shall pass if it's a good time. But this too shall pass, right? But knowing that if it's a hard time that you're going through around the corner, there's a good time coming and it can keep your spirits up. And so this idea of seasons can help you be hopeful. And I would hope for most of the planet because we have a pandemic sized problem with people just freaking out, like being anxious, struggling with the life they're living and being unhappy in all the ways that they can find this. And I think a benefit of understanding these seasons is that you can live a life where you feel calmer and you live happier. Understanding that life changes like the seasons can help you worry less about the future and let go of the past. I think if there was hashtag One thing that I wanted people to take away from this season's conversation is that seasons help you worry less about the future and let go of the past. And those two things can make you feel calmer and happier, improving. Guess what? Your overall mental health and the boiling point to all of those leads into this piece. And I think it's why I wanted to start this podcast for years. It's why I wanted to write the book. It's why I've been showing up as a different human human for the longest time. Is when you understand this idea of seasons. The benefit is that you start finding your why. Each season of life gives you a chance to find your purpose. Maybe you're setting new goals. Maybe you're taking care of what matters to you. Maybe you're like Liz and you got the broom out and you're sweeping things, cleaning up things. But thinking about your life or getting ready for what's next, knowing there's a reason for the season, a reason for each season can give you a clear sense of direction and your why. Why are you on the planet? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you feel the way you feel? Why do you act the way like the seasons can help you find your why?

George, I think this has been a great conversation, but it can be a tricky one to put into practice. It's a little because it requires that kind of outsized perspective on our own lives. So I'd like you to issue a challenge to our listeners this week. What is one question you would encourage our listeners to challenge themselves with as they go through the upcoming week regarding the seasons of their own life? You are shaking your head. Oh, boy. Okay.

I always suck at this. I always suck at that. When you're like, what's the one thing that you.

I know. Because then you're like, eliz, I know you said one. I have 17 plus a companion PowerPoint.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, Liz, I actually have two or a few questions that I would want the listeners to think about. So listen, think about the current season you're in in your life. That's where I want you to start. And what I mean by that. Are you in a period of growth, reflection, rest, or transition? Are you in a period of growth, reflection, rest, or transition? Hopefully you have your notepad out and you have written down Are you in a period of growth, reflection, rest, or transition? Because that's the question that I want you to ask yourself. How does recognizing this season help you understand your feelings and experiences better? That's the companion, by the way. It's not a PowerPoint, it's just a companion question. Once you figure out what season season you're in, ask yourself the question, how does recognizing this season help you understand your feelings and experiences better? Write about that now. I don't want you to stop there, though, because part of this we talked about for the longest time was, Liz, you've pointed out numerous times on this podcast, it's, well, when you're in the story, it's kind of a reflection thing because it's like heart, like. Yes. I didn't disagree with that ever once in this episode because I knew that the one of the last questions that I wanted people to think about for this episode was the fact that we can learn from each season. And what I mean by that is looking back, listeners, can you identify what you've learned from a particularly challenging or rewarding season in your life? And The Companion, not PowerPoint, but Companion, question of that one is, how has that knowledge shaped who you are today? So, again, the second question is looking back, can you identify what you've learned from a particularly challenging or rewarding season in your life? And how has that knowledge shaped who you are today? You see, because if we look back at these challenges, at these rewarding times, if we document how they have actually changed our life, if we look at what's happening now and realize out of that historical documentation that what is happening right now, the season that you're living in, there will be another thing that you will be adding to the thing that you have learned. You will be adding a stepping stone to the life that you're headed out on. You will be dictating and directing a path that you are moving down, realizing that there will be the seasons that you will need to pay attention to. There will be the hills and valleys that you would need to be traveling as you're traveling through this life beyond your default.