Smashing the Reset Button on How You Think + Talk About Time

You said, I realize I'm living a story. And my brain immediately started to explode with these like thoughts of like, yes, yes, Liz, you're right. We're living a story. We're living a story that we're writing along the way. And then my brain went to like, ladies and gentlemen, are you just jotting down the Cliff Notes? Are you trying to write your life in shorthand? Can anybody even read your writing? Or are you just sitting there looking at an empty page, leaving the pen? Just sit on the table because it's your story. It's a one time thing. You could be crafting the most amazing novel that everybody in the future of the world wants to read. But it's completely up to you and how you use the time to write the story you want to live.

Welcome back to beyond your default. I'm your host, Liz Morehead. And as always, I'm joined by the one, the only, George B. Thomas. How the heck are you this morning?

I'm great. I'm also glad that there is only one of me. You know what? My wife is probably even happier that there's only one of me because I fully know that sometimes I can be challenging and timec consuming.

I do not have a significant other. But my corollary to that would be I am very much looking for someone who is my compliment because I think dating me would probably be, let's just use air quotes. An adventure.

Oh, hey, adventures are good though.

A growth opportunity for you or them. Yes. Human stress test. I don't know. Anyway, all right, let's dig in. Let's talk about our highlights and our low lights from the weekend. I'm going to go first. Going to start with my highlight. My highlight, George, is that after us talking about it over multiple episodes, I went out and got myself gratitude journal.

There we go.

So it's the five minute journal from Intelligent Change and it's really cool. So every morning what I do is I write down what I'm grateful for, I write down what's going to make today great. I have an affirmation statement and then at the end I write down my three highlights for the day and also what I learned today. So I'm pretty excited about that. I've been sticking with keeping my morning routine after I got read the riot act, understandably during our check in episode. And it's been really great so far. The low light. Well, I'm just going to show you. So in an effort to be more efficient with my time in the mornings. Yeah. In an effort to Be more efficient and pretty. I tried one of these things I saw on Tik Tok where you, like, braid your hair before you go to bed.

Oh, no, that's.

Yeah.

Wow. You know, my daughter has done that before, I think, like, braided, which, I mean, she kind of pulled it off.

George, this is not. Well, yeah, this is what we call a low light.

Yeah. You know, no, it reminds me.

It reminds me of growing up in the 80s and my mom doing my hair. And, like, the amount of hairspray required to keep all of those curls in was obscene. But I was standing in front of.

The mirror this morning.

I'm like, I can't wait to see. See how pretty it is. And as I kept pulling on the.

Race, I'm like, oh, God, I wonder if you broke out in, like, the wizard of Oz song of, like, courage. All I need is courage. Because, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, it's like a mane. Like a lioness could have. Like a lion's. Yeah, that. That hair is legit, but not in.

A cute Beyonce way. In a Liz is going to put it back up in a ponytail way. George, what's your highlight and your low late from the weekend?

You know, it's funny that you mentioned this and that we're actually doing this because you jokingly said something and not maybe jokingly.

It wasn't a joke.

Yeah, I think it was maybe a meeting or another podcast. We do. Maybe it was on Hub Heroes. You asked me, like, when's the last time you watched Fast and Furious? I don't think you meant to put me in action when you said that, but it put me in action, meaning over the weekend. I was like, you know what? Liz is right. I haven't watched Fast and Furious for a while. And so I sat down and I watched episode one, which turned into two. Of course, like every good Fast and Furious fan, I skipped Tokyo Drift, but I kept on watching. And I'm like, halfway through seven as of last night before I went to bed. So I did a little binge watching of Toretto and Familia. And what's funny is the. It was really, like, rejuvenating. Like, I just. I felt like it was what I needed, and so I kept, like, adding it in. And of course, I did a little bit of work here and, you know, church and the things that you do on the weekend, but, man, I just was like, I need this. I need to. I, like, I need to input this information into me now. The low light for me was actually. And I don't know why, but I have had. And I. It's kind of gone now, but it's kind of still here. Have you ever had one of those, like, tummy aches where it just won't go away and you're on the verge of like, I want to eat, but I don't want to eat. And you feel kind of okay and then you eat and then all of a sudden your tummy's like, why did you do that? And then it kind of goes away and then it comes back and so you're like, maybe I will try to eat again. And it's like, no, do not eat. I've had this thing for almost two and a half days now where I'm like, what did I get into? Cuz I don't feel any other sort of way other than like, there's just this little belly piece going and I just want to be annoying in your life. So that was the low light for the weekend and hopefully it just goes away and I can be like 100%. But yeah. So fast and furious and tummy aches for the weekend.

That was low grade. Anything kind of sucks. Big ones like, yeah, low grade tummy aches. I've had a low grade headache now for about two and a half days and it's. It's not bad enough where I want to take anything, but it's annoying enough that it's just like, go away. Also number two, that was absolutely a call to action.

Oh, okay.

I don't know if our listeners know this, but the Fast and Furious saga, which we will hear no slander against, it is Rosetta Stone to our hearts.

Yes.

Yeah. Familiar.

Yeah.

Familia, Familia. So this week, George, we are not talking about Fast and Furious, although maybe we should find a way, like, beyond your default lessons from Fast and Furious.

Oh, God, yes, we can.

We gotta do it. We gotta do that. But this week instead, we're talking about one of the most precious resources we have at our disposal, if not the most precious resource in our collective beyond your default journeys. And that, ladies gentlemen, they's thems is time. If we were forced to define our relationship with time, though, on Facebook, this is where I'm show showing my elder millennial self. It would a hundred percent be. It's complicated because too often it's weird. They're kind of extremes, right on the one end, too often, we often feel we have a deficit with time, desperately wanting more of it and never seeming to have enough of it. In fact, there was a recent research study released that showed that 6 in 10Americans say they don't have enough time in the day to get everything done. But this. Then there is the other extreme, which we talked about in a previous episode on embracing the small things in life and understanding seasons of waiting. And when we have those seasons where we feel like we're waiting for stuff to happen, then it feels like all we have is time. Excruciating stretches of endless time while we're waiting for something to begin. Time also, I've noticed, comes under greater scrutiny when you start looking at your life purposefully and saying, I need to make changes. Right? Like, I'm recently going through this, for example, you know, with the morning routine. You know, I've had to start looking critically at my mornings and how much time I have, but this is ingrained in almost every single topic that we talked about. Right? There's the morning routine conversation from episode 24 seasons of waiting, which I've already talked about. If you want to go back into that episode, it's episode 31, the idea of being present in the moment of time that is directly in front of you. Episode 35. Or heck, if you want to go back to the very beginning. In the beyond your default archives, there's episode four, which talks about understanding the timing of your life. Time is everywhere. And all of these conversations force us to put time back under a microscope. And yes, we get it. I think it's safe to say, George, that this conversation is a bit complex about time. But in this. Just a scotch, so. So in this first episode about time, we're going to lay the foundation for completely rethinking how we define time, how we think about time, and how we talk about time. Because when you make changes internally around those three areas, you'll be surprised by what becomes possible. There's this really great quote, George, that I want to kick things off with. Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. And I think it's time we change that. So, George, I know, I know you're excited about this conversation. Tell me why.

Yeah, I think there's a couple angles at this, but I am super excited. For me personally, there's a couple reasons why the topic of time excites me. And I'm. And I'm also trying to do this without, like, completely going to the nerd level. Like, because there's a part of my brain that wants to be like Liz immediately, let's talk about Newtonian time versus Einstein time. And I'm like, hold up. Maybe let's Back up just a tiny bit. But here's the thing. First, I think that a healthy, important word there relationship with time, impacts all of our past conversations, by the way, hence your intro, and also elevates all of our future conversations that we have yet to have. This topic and however many episodes it ends up being. It's. It's funny because I. I have said in a couple different podcast episodes it's a pillar or it's a teeter totter or like it's a fulcrum point, like I'll just tell you, but impact and elevate the topics of our life around it historically and in the future. Secondly, I've had moments in my life where time seemed like something that just passed by, something that was unimportant, or something that blatantly I just wasted. Frankly, as I sit here today at almost 53 years old, that freaking makes me sad like that I was ever at a point where those were the words that I would use around time. So if I could do a couple of episodes, we could do a couple of episodes of this podcast that end up being a chapter in a book that people can listen to or read the podcast episodes or the book, or both. If the book becomes an audio version anyway, and not waste time in their own lives, but build a solid and healthy relationship with it, then all the time I wish I could buy back, but can't will be worth it. In other words, this conversation is an investment in the next set of years for myself, but also an entire lifetime for future humans. And Liz, I'm also a little excited about this conversation because as a guy who has almost died three times and has passed the midlife point of my life, this is something that I've been wanting to research even more and become a ninja at in my own life. So thank God for what I'll call forced education through wanting to do this podcast in these episodes. And as a podcast listener who is actively trying to live a life beyond their default, I think there are some exciting reasons even past my own personal ones. Like listen, time is a limited resource. Time is finite and it's always ticking away. I want myself and other humans to know how important it is that we emphasize the the importance of making the most of it. Every minute is important to who will be, who we will become, and what we will achieve with that in which we're becoming. This literally means that we need to live a life with a positive and proactive mindset and view time as an ally for achieving our greatness versus something that Runs us, ladies and gentlemen. We need to run it. We need to run our time. I think that when we look at time properly, we can start to unlock mindfulness and energy management. When we become mindful and present, appreciating the current moments, rather than Liz always looking to the future or looking in the rear view mirror. Boy, a lot of us spend a lot of time looking in that rear view mirror. Then and only then can we manage our energy in the direction it needs to be directed into the maximum inputs and outputs of our life. Like, hopefully you're sitting here listening to this and you're gonna open your mind to the inputs and outputs and what that equals and the amount of time that you actually spend doing the things that you're spending doing them. We'll dig into that a little bit later, though.

Well, why don't you first talk to me about your. Your current relationship with time?

Do I have to?

How it's evolved? Yes. If it's any consolation, once again, I will say it's complicated, at least for m. But we'll get to my stuff later. First, I want to hear from you. I want to. You've already touched upon it a little bit by saying you've recognized you've crossed that halfway point. So how has it changed for you over the years?

Yeah, I made it past the midlife without having a midlife crisis.

I know. And every time you're like, you know, I'm just going to start a company, you know, I'm just going to start another company, you know what? It's fine. Like, and to be fair, starting a podcast at a company, there are a lot worse ways.

A lot worse ways to have a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's nuts. Okay. It's complicated. Like, that's. I'm gonna go with that, too. But honestly, I. I'm. I'm personally on a journey with time and how I use it in my life. I mean, I've. I've had times where I think that I'm winning when it comes to time, but then there are other times when I look at myself and I wonder, yo, bro, how many freaking times are you gonna take one step forward and two steps back? Because, like, it's just getting tiresome now with that, I will say that as of about 30 days ago, maybe 45, but probably 30 days ago, Liz, something is brewing because of a conversation or two that has happened in my life several times recently when I've had conversations that the punchline of the conversation is, I'm past my midlife crisis or the ability to have a midlife crisis? Let me explain. So one of these times, I was sitting with a bunch of friends and they were talking about the fact that, well, we're all the same age. And my wife and I looked at each other and I said, hold up, hold up. We're not all the same age. Well, yeah, we're all the same age. Like, you know, we all got kids and we're the same age. And, And I looked at my friend, I said, how old are you? And he's like, well, I'm. I'm 43. And I'm like, we're not the same age. I'm. I'm a decade older than you. Like, I'm, I, I have a 10 year head start on who you are and who you can become. Like, I, I am. No, we're not the same age. And it's, you know, this conversation about the goatee and me growing my hair out long. And one of the ladies was like, oh, so is it a midlife crisis? And I go, honey, didn't you just realize I'm past my midlife crisis. I didn't have a midlife crisis. I didn't date anybody that wasn't my wife. I didn't buy a sports car. If you ask Liz, I started companies and podcasts and maybe you would do that.

That's what you do normally. You breathe and you're like, I had an idea.

Yeah, let's start a company. But I was like, I was like, no, this isn't a midlife crisis. This is because on a good day, I might have 30 summers left and I want to grow my fricking hair out. So leave me alone. On a bad day, I might have five summers left. Like you, like, I'm to the point where I look at it and I start to count the numbers of things and go, ooh, wow. That kind of puts an interesting perspective to it. Like, and so the same conversation with my kids, right? With my kids, it was like this conversation of legacy and why I want to move in a year and why I want to have land and why I want to do, like, multiple homes for them and what, you know, how many years I have to build a thing, a dream, a book, a community? You know, how can I take where I am at now and where should I go and where is it best used? And what, what does God have planned for the next 5, 10, 15, 20, Lord willing, 30 years, which I want the listeners to stop and think about when you start, like, it's real Easy to count to 30. And when you start to think about 30 in chunks of 10. 3. 3 chunks. Like all of a sudden your brain starts to just do these interesting things around the time that has been and the time that remains. So for me, I'm literally on this journey where it's like, how do I squeeze the maximum ability out of every moment that I'm going to have moving forward? The saying waste not, want not comes to mind. Right. Anyway, so this is where my brain is. This is my historical journey. I've wasted a lot of it. Oh, I find it very precious moving forward. Hence why again, I said I was excited about just becoming a ninja at time and understanding time and time management and all the things that we're going to have conversation wise. But, but Liz, what about you and your kind of journey with time? Like, I'm done being on the hot seat. I think I'll pass the baton over to you for a little bit.

Well, my relationship with time is an interesting one. It was funny when you were talking about the story with your friends and you kept saying, we're not the same age. And then they said, you know, or you asked them, you know, how old are you? 43. Not the same. So I'm going to be 42 in October. But it's funny, I have a similar situation where I think it's just my death believe fear of the sun has made it so, like, I wear sunscreen like it's my job. So I look, you've seen me, I look like a child.

Yeah.

So people are always surprised by when they find out how old I am. Usually clock, they clock me in like my early 30s or something like that. Sometimes mid-30s. And I'm just like, thank you. Add eight.

Yeah. I mean, listen, I got carded at 28 and I knew it was going to be a gift. Like when I shave my face, I do have a baby face. So I get why people look at you, look at me and they're like, oh, they're 20, just like us. And we're like, no.

Beyond your default tip, you don't need an 18 step skincare routine. Go buy sunscreen. Go wear it every day. And it doesn't matter if it's winter or if it's gray outside. That's all you got to do. It's all you do. My, my skincare routine is sunscreen and neglect. That's it. Like, that's it. But what was interesting about it is that when I was younger, that used to kind of amuse me. Right. Oh, they think I'm a few years younger. Oh, they think, whatever.

And.

And now just the baffling, the baffled silence of, oh. And it's like, okay, I'm not dead. I'm 41.

Like, calm down that side. Yeah.

But what is interesting is I've become much more keenly aware of the Seasons of life, which is not something I really focused on a lot when I was younger. It's one of those things where as time goes on, you are able to see your life lesson micro moments, nights out with friends, phone calls with friends, crying over the phone because of a boy. And you start to see your life in chapters. You start to see your life in parts. You start to see beginnings and endings. And this is something we went into pretty in depth on the Seasons of Life episode. So I would recommend people going, listening to that. But when I think about my relationship with time, that is the thing that has become the most prevalent to me in terms of how I think about it, which is now that I'm aware that I'm living a story, not just waking up haphazardly and breathing and, like, just trying to make it through the day, I have the option to architect a story, an actual narrative arc in my life for however long or short those arcs may be. It makes me more purposeful about it, but it also gives me a little bit more anxiety about it. And that's something I'll talk about a little bit later on in our conversation. But right now, my relationship with time is. We're in couples counseling together. Time and I, we're learning, we're renegotiating terms. I'm learning to be nicer to it. I'm learning to look at time differently and appreciate it for what it is instead of always being mad that it's passing or disappearing. What was interesting is, I will say, the passage of time last year was incredibly fast and slow at the same time. I felt like I was simultaneously in a season of waiting, but also everything was happening all at once. And so I've. Now, I was over at a friend's house yesterday, and they said, so how are things going? I'm like, I am so delighted to report that nothing is happening, that everything is boring, that there is nothing new to report. I went to a storage unit today to pick up something I wanted to hang on my wall. And I went to Whole Foods. I might go to the gym later. That is my story, you know, so it's. That's where I'm at with time.

It's. It's interesting Because I want to jump in here. You, you said something very interesting. You said, I realize I'm living a story. And my brain immediately started to explode with these like thoughts of like, yes, yes, Liz, you're right. We're living a story. We're living a story that we're writing along the way. And then my brain went to like, ladies and gentlemen, are you just jotting down the cliff notes? Are you trying to write your life in shorthand? Can anybody even read your writing? Or are you just sitting there looking at an empty page, leaving the pen just sit on the table because it's your story. It's a one time thing. You could be crafting the most amazing novel that everybody in the future of the world wants to read, but it's completely up to you and how you use the time to write the story you wanna live.

It's like the victim versus victor mentality, right? Are you the architect of your destiny or are you someone who sits there and constantly talk about how life happens to you for better or for worse?

Yeah.

And that's where, you know, time is currency, time is oxygen. And that leads me nicely into our next question, which is how can we define and think about time differently?

Dropping the bombs. Okay, first things first. Time isn't just about clocks and calendars. However, if you ask mere mortal humans, I think that's what we immediately correlate it to is like, I can't tell you the amount of websites that if you're talking about time, it's a clock or a calendar emoji. Because that's like the two things that you have that you can go with. It's all about, or also about how we experience and value it, time in our lives. Like listen, Time is a fundamental concept that helps us understand the sequences of events in our lives, from the past to the present and into the future. Okay, now I want you to think about what I just said. Time is a fundamental concept that helps us understand the sequence of events in our lives from the past to the present and into the future. In everyday life, we use time to organize our activities and make sense of our experiences. Organize our activities and make sense of our experiences. Scientifically, time is considered the fourth dimension. And Einstein's theory of relativity shows that it's not absolute, but affected by gravity and velocity. This is where the nerdness of me comes out, by the way. But philosophically, time raises intriguing questions about its nature and perception. How we view and interact with time can shape our well being and make it either an adversary which we've talked about or one of the biggest gifts that we can actually have for the time in which we have it. Ultimately, time is both a universal and deeply personal aspects of our life. That's how I would define it. But I want you to think about a couple things that just came out of my mouth. Time is a concept that helps us understand the sequences of events in our lives. Time is how we humans organize our activities and make sense of our experiences. Time is not absolute, but affected by gravity and velocity. Well, if you believe Einstein's theory of relativity, that is again, Einstein versus Newtonian time. But I don't know about you, but me personally, when I hear this, when I start to sit down with a pen and paper and unpack these things, I start to think that time is a construct that we humans have created. So the other thing that I actually said that I think is super important and that is time can shape our well being, making it either an adversary or a gift. If it's a man made construct, then I ask you, why is it not always a gift? I think his last name is Keen. I K E A N E. Bill Keen. Yeah, yeah. Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present. I love that quote, by the way. Psalms 90:12. Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Proverbs 16:9. In the hearts of humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. James 4:14. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Steve Jobs, by the way. Yes, I'm using scripture and quotes together. Steve Jobs says, your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. I'm going to say yes, Steve. And I'm also going to say this. Your time is limited, so don't waste it not living a life at all. You see, seeing time as a limited resource encourages us to make the most of each day. When we view time as precious, we're less likely to waste it. And Liz, on the other hand, seeing time as endless can lead to procrastination or failing to appreciate the present place that I once lived. Changing our mindset to view time as a gift helps us be grateful and use it wisely. To use time effectively, it's important to set clear priorities and focus on what matters most. Viewing time, this precious commodity that we have with gratitude, mindfulness, intention. This fosters a positive relationship with it supporting both personal and professional growth over time. That's my thoughts.

So let's flip the script here a little bit. You know, one of the things I really love about that answer is it reminds me of this great quote from St. Augustine, which is, what then is time? If no one asks me I know what it is, and if I wish to explain it to him, who asks, I don't know. I would be very curious to hear from you. What is the one grounding thought you have about time that keeps you looking at it at the right way?

Interesting. It's a little additional sideways question coming at me. So since I was about 18 and a half, I've had this underlying tone that was a gift, I believe, right from God. And it's that time is precious and you never know when it will end. Because it was when I was 18 and a half that I had my military experience where I was breaking out in hives. And 13 hours from not being on this planet and being on this planet and being medevaced off of a ship that the number one boiler exploded. We've talked about it on another episode. You can go back and listen to that episode. But since that time, no pun intended, I have always looked at it as a precious commodity. And then I've always been curious. And what I'm about to say could sound really sick mentally, but it's. I don't mean it in that way. Go on. I've run the scenarios of the fact that my life could end today, my life could end tomorrow. Like, I'm so okay with if it ended now, I don't want it to end. But because of this perspective, like, I think it's why I wake up every day, how I wake up and show up, how I show up. Because I realized if this was the last game I played and somebody was looking at the highlight reel, they'd be like, homeboy left it all out on the field. But that's every day for me.

I don't feel attacked. That's fine. So, moving on, how does how we talk about time impact our relationship with time?

Yeah. Which, by the way, I love the episode we did on, like, the words we use.

Oh, yeah. The power of language. Choosing your words to shape your destiny.

Yeah. This might align real close to that. Real close to that. Like, let's be honest. So how we talk about time greatly impacts our relationship with it. I mean, how we talk about anything, how we talk about ourselves, how we talk about the fact that we're going to lose weight or not lose weight or not smoke or not drink or like how our relationship like everything it's it comes down to how do we talk about it, what words do we use. But especially with time, like the language we use and the narratives we create around time shape our perceptions, our attitudes, our freaking day in and day out behaviors. And Liz, I have five five things I want to share here. So be prepared because I want to get your thoughts not necessarily on the five, but if you have thoughts on the five, that's cool. But also just your thoughts as well. To the question that you just asked, because I'm curious from a man to woman, different ways we communicate in language we use the perspective that can be seen from this. But using words around time Time as a limited resource AKA most humans mindset Potentially when we view time as a precious limited resource, we're most likely to value and use it wisely. Actually, maybe it's the polar opposite that some of us have with this. Anyway, you diagnose for yourself where your brain's at on this one. When we talk about time this way, it encourages to prioritize what's important. So seize opportunities and avoid procrastination. Okay? For example, the words that we might use, phrases like time is of the essence or time waits for no one highlight the urgency of using time effectively. How many times in your day, listeners, do you say these sayings or think about time in this way? Is time of the essence for you? Are you waiting on the time because it's not waiting on you? Time as an Enemy if we frequently talk about running out of time or never having enough time, we might view time as an adversary. Now this one is probably the one that most mere mortal humans. I mean, listen your intro. Anyway, this mindset can lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of being overwhelmed. It can also foster a negative relationship with time, where we constantly feel rushed and pressured. Has anybody paid attention to our culture lately? Like four main words in the last paragraph and a half that came out of my mouth. I'll just stop right there. But interestingly enough, this is how many humans think about time, or probably think about time. Because I mean, if we go back to your intro of the podcast episode, Liz, you said these words. If we were forced to define our relationship with time on Facebook, it would 100% be. It's complicated. Too often we feel at a deficit with time, desperately wanting more of it and never seeming to have enough of it, literally in the intro. The mindset that we're talking about here. On the flip side, time as a gift. Seeing time as a gift encourages gratitude and mindfulness. When we talk about the words we use, cherishing the moment or making the most of our time, we foster a positive relationship with time. This perspective helps us focus on the present and appreciate the experiences and people that are in our lives and that we're living life with. This one I love, by the way, and that is time as a Tool. Total side Tangent Money as a resource. Time as a tool. You're living a totally different life than you once were if you make those two adjustments anyway. Time as a tool. Viewing time as a tool for achieving goals can be empowering. Phrases like making time or finding time suggest that we have control over how we use our time. This mindset encourages planning, prioritization, intentionality, helping us to align our actions with our values and goals. This is a journey beyond your default right Time as a journey. Talking about time as a journey highlights the importance of personal growth and progress. Phrases like taking it one day at a time or time heals all wounds reflect a perspective that values learning, resilience, and transformation over time. Liz how we talk about time shapes our mindsets and behavior. By choosing positive and empowering language, we can cultivate a healthier, more productive relationship with time that supports that supports our personal and professional growth. I can tell you right now that there are words and phrases that I want to program into my life moving forward that we've talked about in this segment. And there are times that I've had programmed in my brain words from this section that I'm trying to figure out how fast can I burn them and get rid of them. Liz, what are your thoughts?

Interesting. So my thoughts on this are a little bit more simplistic, mostly because leading up to this episode, we've been talking about time, you and I now, for a few weeks before we decided to sit down and actually talk about it. And I decided to just observe myself in my my natural habitat.

Oh, interesting.

There's the wild Liz in her natural habitat. See, she's hopping around her apartment wrapped in a comforter because she thinks no one's watching, right? But the thing I noticed the most is how I talked about time. And it was three words that I realized have really kind of had the greatest negative impact on my relationship with time.

Interesting.

I only have. I only have 15 minutes. I only have one hour. I only have two hours. I only have today. I only have this. I only have that. I realized I had a scarcity mindset around time. And if you're always telling yourself that you only have blank. If you don't have enough, that's how you're going to operate. I know there's a lot of research about this and I know there's an actual term for what I'm about to describe. It's one of those things where if you say you only have 20 minutes to get something done, you'll find a way to get it done in 20 minutes. Now, we're not talking about writing a 100 page thesis paper for your doctorate, you know what I'm saying? But what I found fascinating the most in terms of when I think, think about the words and the language I use around time, it is almost always from a place of scarcity. I caught myself doing it this morning. So I have this nice morning routine that I've been doing and I was puttering around and I happened to catch my eye on the clock and went, oh, I only have 30 minutes. And I'm like, I have 30 minutes. I have 30 whole ass minutes.

Yeah.

You know, and, and I had been going around for about an hour already. I'm so programmed to act as if I don't ever have enough. I only have X minutes, y minutes, 1 hour, 2, 1 afternoon. It's always at a deficit. It's amazing the snowball effect that has in terms of how I, how I interact with tasks, how I interact with time, how I feel about the things that I'm doing. It's fascinating to me.

It's funny because my brain goes, well, you only need to, it's three words, but you only need to remove one. The only. And it's funny because when I was listening to you're like, I only have 15 minutes. And you went, and then you said, I have 15 and it was like, yay. Like just that one, that one word, right?

I need that as a soundboard. Like just if I'm upset, it's like.

Yeah, yeah, like, but, but the idea of like your perception of only having versus I have. And it's like, I have 30 minutes to do this amazing thing or oh my God, I only have 30 minutes to get this done. So good.

Yeah. And what's fascinating about it as well is that then you have to start challenging yourself. You know, why do I have this scarcity mindset around time? Part of it is programming. Right. Part of it is, you know, somewhere along the line I got really cagey and weird about time and I just became an I only have kind of gal. But then it made me start thinking about, well, there are some cases where I don't Always act that way. Right? Like, it's a majority amount of the time. But it's something I've been purposefully working on in terms of shifting my mindset. But then I realized there were cases where I would say, ugh, I only have, like, 90 minutes before I have to blank or X or Y or Z. And my issue actually had nothing to do with time itself and my resistance to whatever was beyond the scope of time. Whether that was a task I had to do. The fact that I had to go to the gym one of the days this weekend. And I will tell you, I was fucking furious every single minute I was at that gym. I did it. I was happy, and I'm proud of myself for going. What I found is that if we are a little bit more curious about where our resistance is, it can be very illuminating about what the truth is of a given moment. But that I think is going to be clutch for me in terms of reevaluating my relationship with time, because I think a scarcity mindset about time is something I had never. I think I always knew that in the abstract that I had that approach to time. But now that I've purposefully monitored myself, oh, no. When in doubt, the call is coming from inside the house. Once again, the call is coming from inside the house.

Most times it probably is, by the way. But, yeah, scarcity. And I think it's funny because when I hear you say that, and I think that's maybe why I alluded to, like, money as a resource and time as a tool, because it's literally saying, like, those are two places we humans are real good at leaning into that scarcity mindset versus abundance mindset. And it's just massively different when we're like, trust me when I tell you you can show up as an entirely different human than you ever thought you could be when you can leverage and empower those two changes.

So, as we wrap up today's discussion, George, I would love to hear from you. What are practical ways in which our listeners can rethink their relationship with time that can have an immediate impact on their lives? And I'm going to be perfectly honest, for our listeners at home, as soon as I started saying this question out loud, you got that. That glint in your eye, which makes me sometimes a little bit nervous. And then you did a little tap dance. So I'm just gonna back off the mic and duck for cover as I listen to your answer.

Yeah. So, Liz, I immediately want to talk about things like practice mindfulness, set boundaries, be Grateful or even, you know, attempt to simplify the complex in your life. But in attempt to simplify this for the humans, who I fundamentally believe are just like you and I have a hard time with this, I want to share a four part framework we all can use. Improving our relationship with time can lead to greater happiness, productivity and fulfillment. Improving our relationship with time with a framework and purpose, well, that's the way to go. I'm going to keep this short, I'm going to keep it simple. But it's four things I want you to think about. I could have done eight. I'm gonna do four.

Your restraint is noted and appreciated in your permanent file.

The book of Life. He's writing it down and so is Liz. So here are some practical ways to rethink your relationship. My relationship with time for a positive impact as we journey through this life in an effort to live a life beyond our default. Because that's the focus here. Number one, prioritize and focus. Listen, Identify priorities and focus on essential tasks. Start by identifying what's most important to you. Like, do you even know the answer to that? If I ask you what's the most important thing to you, question mark, can you answer it? Whether it's family, career, health, personal growth. Once you know your priorities, focus on the tasks that align with them. This can help you spend your time on what truly matters. By the way, once you do that, number two, I want you to reflect and learn. Liz literally talked about this when I. Liz in her natural habitat, hopping around her apartment. Reflect and learn. Reflect daily and adjust accordingly. Spend a few minutes at the end of each day reflecting on how you used your time and what you'd like to improve. Use your reflections to adjust your approach to time management and make improvements, small incremental improvements along the way. Number three, because you're going to have those improvements, set you your clear goals around what you're trying to now iterate on. In other words, define goals and break down those goals. Set clear achievable goals for different areas of your life. Break these goals into smaller actionable steps and allocate time to work on them regularly. These become your just must dos. This becomes your habits. Your habits then align to where you're trying to get. And because it's 1% done better each and every day, one step at a time, based on reverse engineering the setting of those goals, you're on your way. And number four of this four part framework. Liz, are you ready for the big one?

Yes. No. Am I? I'm just gonna write it down. I'm just gonna write down.

I'm just gonna write down number four. Eliminate time wasters. Identify time wasters and minimize distractions. Identify the activities in your life that consume time without adding any freaking value like excessive social media use or unproductive meetings. Look out for those. Reduce or eliminate these time wasters to free up time for more meaningful activities around the other three things that we talked about. Ladies and gentlemen, there is a next action I need you to take based on this four piece framework and I've asked Liz to add a video and a couple screenshots from it in the show notes and I need you to go visit the beyond your default website and the show notes of this episode and go watch the TEDx on the battle for your time exposing the costs of social media. What do you mean, George? It's free. Just go watch the video. By leveraging these four practical strategies, you can develop a healthier and more productive relationship with time leading to immediate and positive changes in your life which in return will make immediate and positive changes to this journey of a life beyond your default.