100 versions of you & dealing with judgement and criticism

Hey everyone, it's Alexandra. Hope you're having a great day. So today's video is a hundred versions of you. And I got this idea from Byron Katie, kind of on a Byron Katie roll right now. One of the workshops that I did with her, she walked in and then she sat down and then she said, how many of you had judgments about me, about my hair or about what I'm wearing or oh, I didn't think she would look like that, or her shoes or her earrings or yada yada, just what came up for you? And then she's like, you know, the funny thing is there's a hundred people in here and there's a hundred versions of me up here. There's a hundred versions of Byron Katie. And it just really got me thinking about. There's so many versions of us running around. Like if we're in a room, there's a hundred different versions of Alexandra. Because we all have our own perspectives, we all have our own thoughts and our own judgments. So I thought that was just interesting and also freeing. And it really made me think about a workshop that I did like 15 years ago where a lot of the workshop was focusing, realizing that everybody kind of has these stories about themselves and they're so self focused on these stories that they of course will, yes, have their judgments about you just because that's the way the mind works, but that it isn't. They're not really thinking. They're not thinking that about you that much. They're thinking about their own stories and their own drama. So I remember walking out of that workshop and for like two weeks I was feeling like so free and just like, oh my gosh, it doesn't really matter. I can just be me because nobody's really thinking about me or concerned. They're all thinking about their own drama. And I think that's really true too. So I think as we look at potentially not wanting to be judged or criticized, this is a good reminder to remember that people have their own judgments and they're going to have their judgments about you. That's just the way their mind works. I mean, you already have judgments about me if you watch videos or even if this is your first one. Maybe you don't like how I do my hair or how I talk or how I move or something. There's, I'm sure there's something that you don't like, a love. And I think that's totally fine. Like, I, I think the more I get comfortable with people judging me, the more I am just Feel free to be myself. Because I realize that's just your perspective and somebody else may have a different perspective. And some people like, oh, I really love that about her. And I've had enough, like, positive feedback and negative feedback that I'm like, it's all neutral. It's just. It's not that big of a deal. So I made notes here. I may just make sure I'm saying what I wanted to say. Yeah, I mean, I think just being. Just noticing our judgments about other people and not latching onto it as truth and just like, okay, there's a judgment. There's a judgment. Just because we think it doesn't mean that it's true. And I have a few things to take away from this to, to help you with this. If you feel like you're concerned about what people think or, you know, trying. We can never control, like, a hundred people's versions and vision. Version of who we are. Like, if we're in a room with 100 people and they all have their thing, like, we can't control people's wild minds. All we can focus on is our self expression and not trying to impress people. So when we come from a place of true self expression and not impressing people, then we win, I think. And so, yes, the shift. The shift I like to make is, do you like me? Like, you know, we kind of do things like, do you like me? Do you like me? Do you like me? Vs Do I like me? You know, do I like me? Am I happy with who I am? Am I proud of who I am? And then I think something that goes great with that is the Try song by Colby. Something. I'll put it in the link here, but she just has, like a line that says, wait a second. Why should you care what they think of you when you're all alone by yourself? Do you like you? Do you like you? And then she just go, I just love this song. Like, I get emotional every time I think about it because she just has it so beautiful. It's like, you don't have to try so hard. You don't have to give it all away. You just have to get up, get up, get up. You don't have to change a single thing. You don't have to try. I love to sing, and I'm not a singer. So anyways, listen to that song. I always love it. And then I have another thing. Byron, Katie, it's not your job to like me. It's mine. So another good reminder. And then the last one is from one of my first mentors and coaches, Terri Cool Whitaker. And she's just amazing. And she was one of my first kind of spiritual mentors with a religion kind of, I guess, spirituality that I really resonated with, you know, 15, maybe 17 years ago. And I just really adore her and grateful for her. And she used to always say, what you think of me is none of my business. So. So if at any point you are trying or concerned about all the hundred versions of you, you're concerned about judgment and criticism and all of that, know that, yes, you are being judged and you're being criticized and it's not a big deal. And that there's the ways that you can combat that by asking, do you like you? And also focusing on, you know, what you think of me is none of my business. And it's my job to like me, not yours. So hopefully this is helpful. I know that this has been a process for me for, you know, 20 years of just being concerned about what people think and then just really like I said before, focusing on self expression, not impressing people. So if we do that, I feel like we are winning in our lives and we feel good because we're authentic and we're grounded and we're centered in our truth and we can only be who we are. So let's rock it. All right, that's it for today. Hope you have a wonderful day. Bye.