A speaker shares how to quiet your inner critic by practicing self-compassion instead. She reflects on being gentle with yourself when you fail and letting your heart guide you forward rather than shame.
Hello. Hello, Alexandra. So today's video is a gentle reminder to let love guide you. And this has been something that I've been working on for a long time, actually. But this is something. In the last, like, couple months, I've really been committed to practicing. And it's not always easy, but the practice, the idea is that whenever you have that voice, you know, the voice, the voice that tells you you're a loser, you're never going to do this. You should give up. You suck. You can't create. You are never going to be healthy. You're never gonna find the right partner. You are lame. You know, all those things, all of those kind of negative stories that we've collected over the years, and it's just. It's become a habitual way of thinking, and it doesn't serve us, but it's there. We all have that inner critic, that voice that is there. So how I've been working with this voice is anytime that I notice, the voice usually comes up as well. When. When you say you're going to do something, you know, I'm going to paint, I am going to create this. I'm going to write this book. I am going to be healthy. I am going to run a marathon, whatever it is that you want to do, and then you don't do it. That is, like, the perfect gateway for the voice to come smashing down. So if you notice that. If you notice, okay, I said I was going to do this, and I'm not going to do it. What I do is, like, sink in. I say, okay, great. I have all of these stories swirling around, yelling at me. Let me connect to my heart. So I take a few deep breaths, connect to my heart. I say, what is going on? Like, what. What's happening? Like, is this that I said I was going to do? Important to me? Like, if I said I was going to eat in a certain way, I check in. Like, is this true for me? Like, is this something that I'm truly committed to doing and to having and to being in the world? And sometimes it's a yes, and sometimes it's like, you know, no, it's a should. And if it's a should, then I just let it go. But if it's like a deep yes of like, ah, yes, yes, I'm yearning for this. Yes, this is what I want to do. Yes, this is what I want to create. This is what I want to be, then I say, okay, great. And then I'm gentle with myself. I'm like, okay, sweetheart, you didn't show up. You didn't show up. You said you were going to do that and you didn't do it. So what can you learn? And for me, it's just this process of inquiry and being so much more gentle with myself. Like, none of us do well when we're beat up and people are yelling at us and screaming at us. Like, don't tolerate that for yourself. Don't let that voice take over your life. It's fine if it's there just chirping away, but let it chirp away. Drop into your heart, drop into yourself and connect to yourself in what is important and then get back up. It's not that big of a deal. Let's say you are rolling for, like two weeks. You are on, you know, you're rocking and you're rolling and you're doing it and then you falter and you don't do anything that you said you were going to do for a week. And you check in with your heart and your heart says, yes, I want to do this. This is it. This is how I want to show up in the world. Okay, great. Get back up. Start right now. Start again. And again and again and again. What I have found is that it is in the practice of being who we want to be. It doesn't happen overnight. It's not from like a weekend workshop where we go and everything is magical and life is blissful. Where the magic happens is in those moments when that voice is trying to get you and trying to bring you down and you say, I'm gonna get back up. I know I should have gone running this morning or I should have whatever wrote this morning, and I didn't. And you know what? I'm gonna love myself anyways. I'm gonna learn my lesson. I'm gonna stand strong. I am going to rise up and I am going to make it happen right now. Get your running shoes on and go running. Get your computer out and start writing whatever it is. Do it again. Get up again and again and again and again and again. And we're gonna continue to fail. I'm embracing that as well. I am going to continue to set high standards for myself and expectations, and I will fail. There's some days that I'm not going to do what I said I'm going to do, and it's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean that I can't create what I want to create. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to be healthy. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to be in the relationship that I want to be in. It just means I didn't do it today. That's it. So I always have the opportunity to get up and do it right now. So if there's something in your life that you feel like you are called to do right now, and you've been resisting or making excuses about or feeling like you're not good enough, today is the day, my friend. Take action. Get up. Speak gently with yourself. Let love guide you. Your heart is there to support you. Your heart is there to guide you. Listen to her. Let your heart guide you. And have an awesome day. I guess that's it. That's all for today. So have a great one, and I will see you next time.
