Alexandra Johnson shares how she handled a sibling conflict between her children using respectful parenting techniques. She walks through a specific incident, her approach to their emotions, and what changed when she responded with compassion instead of punishment.
Hey, everyone, it's Alexandra. Hope you're having a great day. So today's video is about respectful parenting and sibling bickering, fighting. So I'll give you the story of it, and then we'll just kind of break it down a little bit. So my children were a little upset, and I was noticing that I was just not super. I didn't feel super resource, and I just kind of wanted them to stop it. And then all of a sudden, my one child threw an ipod and hit the other child in the nose. And then that child started crying, and so I was like, okay, okay, pull it together. Practice this respectful parenting. And I just took a deep breath, and I went and took care of the one that had been hit in the nose first because there was crying and upset. So just kind of comforted. Sorry that that happened to you. That must really hurt. You know, it's not okay to hit each other and to throw things at each other and, you know, just. Just allowing space for. For them to share. And then I went to the other one that threw the ipod, and I said, you know, we don't. It looks like you're really upset, and I'm sorry that you're so upset and you're so frustrated, but we don't throw things at each other. That's not what we do. Can we talk about what we could have done differently? So we kind of talked through that a little bit, and then, yeah, we just had this really great connection. And they still fought. They're still kind of bickering and picking on each other for just a few minutes. And then I went back into the kitchen to make some food, and I just was wondering, was that even helpful? Like, did I really get my point across? You know, did they learn from their mistake and whatever? And then all of a sudden, they sat down to play art and. Or to do art, and they were just sharing and being super kind and super compassionate. And, like, one was saying, hey, could I please use a couple of those crayons? And the other one. Giving it to the other one. And there was just this, like, negotiation and this cooperation and this kindness and compassion that I literally just stopped. And I was just staring and watching them and observing them and feeling very, like, proud proud with how I handled that situation. And then seeing the benefit of them being able to share their feelings and not have any shame and judgment and just a learning opportunity, and then how that shifted for them, and they ended up being closer, and they ended up just sitting there playing nicely and no arguing, nothing for, like, 30 minutes. So there's a few things from this one. Maybe it was just coincidental that they all, they, you know, they got their frustration out and then they could play. My thought is that when we are all heard and we're held, there's space for, for us to make mistakes and then to talk about it calmly and respectfully. That there's a way that we process those emotions and we're able to use our whole brain to use Dan Siegel. We're not in our limbic brain. So guiding them to self regulate helps them have more compassion and more kindness and more connection. So that was my take on the situation. And for me, it just re inspired me to this path of respectful and peaceful parenting. And I wouldn't say that it's super easy for me. I definitely have an inclination towards this way of parenting, but I have my moments. And speaking of, my little ones are coming back from the zoo. So anyways, I have my moments. I'm not perfect, but I just felt really inspired by this and just to keep holding space for that respect and that peacefulness and that cooperation and that compassion. And that's it for today. Sending you lots of love.
