Alexandra Johnson argues that constantly searching for your flaws keeps you stuck. Instead of cataloging what's wrong, she says to notice what's working and treat yourself with the same kindness you'd give a friend.
Hey, it's Alexandra. Today's video is Stop Looking for what's Wrong. And this is something that we work with in the Rock youk Goddess Life program. And I call it the Superwoman Persona. And the superwoman Persona is, which I'm sure you're very familiar with, is the voice that chirps and yells and screams and criticizes and judges everything that you do. And the filter with which this Persona sees the world is by asking the question, what is wrong? So it's looking through everything in your life and saying, what's wrong? What's wrong with your life? What's wrong with your body? What's wrong with your job? What's wrong with your family? What's wrong with everything in your life? And to give this superwoman Persona some credit, she's trying to protect us. She's trying to keep us safe. She is looking for potential threats to our well being or to our family's well being or whatever. So that's kind of her ideal. That's kind of the idea of her and what, what's behind her intense criticism and just like, you know, it's like micromanaging everything and making sure that everything's okay. And she's just, she's. It's just on overdrive. So we need to just settle her down and switch our perspective to. Instead of looking at what's wrong, looking at what's right, what's right about us, what's right about our body, what's right about our relationships, what is right about our life and looking at. At our self and our life in that way and speaking to ourselves with love and compassion and kindness. And anytime that you feel those voices of criticism and judgment and just essentially beating yourself up for not living up to the superwoman ideals that we all have. And if we were actually going to live up to all the ideals, ideals that this superwoman Persona has, we would be superhuman. I mean, it's just. It's just not possible. So it's important to give ourselves credit because we're all doing a great job. Like, even if you think you're not doing a great job, you're doing a great job. Somewhere there's something that you are doing right and to focus on that, to give your attention to it. What am I doing right? What is right about my body? You know, maybe you're overweight or maybe you have some extra weight. Instead of focusing on the weight, focus on, you know what? I love this about my body. And this is what is going right. Like, hello, you're Alive, like, your body is functioning. That's amazing. And that is right. So if you have some extra pounds, like, who cares? Let it go. Tell superwoman to get out. You got a new self that is coming through, and it's your divine self. It's your authentic self. It is the real you. And realizing that you are amazing and giving yourself the credit and encouraging yourself. None of us do well when we're criticized. Like, it's, you know, you criticize yourself enough and you think that maybe you're gonna change. That doesn't feel good. Nobody likes to have those. Like, if somebody was yelling at you all the time, like, you know, let's say you had a little friend over here, and she was just screaming at you throughout your days, like, you're not doing that right. You're not doing that right. You should have done this. You would kick that friend out and say, sorry, I'm not gonna. I can't handle you. But we let those, those voices be okay with us, and then we actually believe them, which is just ridiculous. So kick the superwoman out. Tell her that, you know, you've been working with her for years and you've been listening to her, and it's time for her to take a seat. There's a new woman coming in, and it is the divine goddess. And you're gonna live from that place. And how you live from the divine goddess is you start asking what is right in your life. You should start appreciating yourself. You start talking to yourself kindly and gently. And even if you make a mistake or you feel like you failed at something, don't criticize yourself. Say, okay, what can I learn here? What can I learn? How can I grow? How can I flourish? When we start asking these questions, we start feeling more invigorated. We increase our life force, we increase our energy. And that therefore, we're gonna be happier. And we're also going to do more and feel more accomplished and feel more successful. And something that I have on my desk is this sweet little picture. And that is me when I was a baby. And I keep it on my desk to remind me to be kind to myself. And how would I speak to that, to this divine human being? Like, there is so much amazingness in. In me. Like, it's, it's there. And why would I ever yell at that little child? Like, I wouldn't. I would never. I have a two and a half year old. I would never say some of those things that I say to myself, to him. Never. So why would I say it to myself. So I just had that as a reminder of my divine potential, of my goodness, of my light and of my love and to remember to love myself, love myself. You know, it can be so hard to really love ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves. So this video is essentially to say, stop being so hard on yourself. You're doing a great job. Even if you're totally screwing up or whatever's happening in your life, you're doing a great job. Like, you're doing the best that you can. And speak to yourself as if you were a baby. Like, how would you speak to the baby part of yourself? How would you speak to her? What would you say to her? You would say, hey, sweetheart, I know you're doing a really hard. You're doing, you're having a hard time. You know, it's a really rough time in your life. And this is happening, and this is happening. And how can I support you? What do you need? Ask yourself that. How can you support yourself? And what do you need? What do you need to flourish and let go of the judgment and the criticism and just rock your goddess life? Just do it, girl. Alright, so I hope this video was helpful. I hope that you take a deep breath today and you appreciate yourself and you look for all the things that are right about you because you're awesome. Affirm that. Acknowledge it. You are awesome. Okay? Have a wonderful day. And until next time.
