9 Ways Parents Can Be Better LGBTQ Allies Starting Today

Welcome to Just Breathe Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child and empowering all LGBTQ people. My name is Heather Hester and I am I am so grateful you are here. I want to welcome you to the Chrysalis World and encourage you to take a deep breath, for it is here that you will find unique solutions for parents, families, and friends, for organizations, and for global outreach. Whether today's show is an amazing guest or me sharing stories, resources, strategies, or lessons I've learned along the journey, I want you to feel like we are just hanging out at a coffee shop, having a cozy chat. Most of all, I want you to remember that wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone.

Welcome to Just Breathe. I am so happy you are here and happy New Year. Happy 2024. I hope that your holidays were both restful and magical, which is something I always hope for, for myself. I love the holidays. I love having my family home, my kids home. And we were laughing actually a few weeks ago when they first all came home, how they're learning as they move outta the house and they meet new people and make new friends. How differently everyone celebrates the holiday season. And we're kind of giggling about how we very much still treat it in a lot of ways like they are all under 5. So when I say magical, I really do mean magical. And it is kind of fun to revert to just feeling like a little kid and just really enjoying this time of year and this being together in the very truest sense. I also hope that if you came across any non-affirming people at gatherings, whether it was with family or at work or with friends, that you were able to use some of the strategies from the last episode and calmly stand in your truth. I want you to know that I still use the, all of these strategies, and I was actually so excited to share with you all that I had an opportunity to speak my truth, to use some of these strategies just a few weeks ago. And it was for the very first time in a serious discussion with this particular person that I was able to stay calm. That I was able to stay just really connected to myself and to speak so factually and simply and clearly. And even though the conversation in and of itself yielded— what it yielded was clarity and confirmation, but it was clarity and confirmation of a fixed mindset that I had hoped would shift over time. And just hasn't. But the fact that I was able to speak my truth and hold my boundaries was such a huge win. So I was really, really excited to share that with you. And it was part of what really helped me decide what to start 2024 with for this podcast, the first episode of the year. I'm really, really excited about not only this episode and what we're talking about today, but about what I'm bringing to you this year in this podcast. I've made some changes as far as what I'm going to produce for you as far as information and growth series, as well as interviews with experts on much more targeted subjects. So Really, really looking forward to that. I'm also reaching out for sponsorship partners within organizations that align with the mission and vision of Just Breathe. So if you know of anyone or any organizations that may be a good fit, please let me know or send them my way. So considering all of the chaos in the world, Discussing allyship felt like a really, really great way to kick off 2024. And while what we talk about today will be specific to LGBTQ allyship, consider the other areas of your life in which you can use these tips and strategies. As our world becomes more accepting of broader and more diverse identities in a lot of ways, In other ways, not so much. It is crucial, however, for individuals to understand how they can better support the LGBTQ+ community. Being an ally is a vital role that contributes to creating an inclusive and supportive environment for everyone. So today I want to explore the significance of being an LGBTQ+ ally, the challenges faced by the community, and very actionable steps you can take to show your solidarity and your advocacy. So what does it mean to be an LGBTQ+ ally? Well, it means actively supporting and advocating for the rights the wellbeing and the equality of LGBTQ+ individuals. And I would actually also add to that list. I did— I didn't as I was writing this, but I also wanna add equity. It involves understanding the unique challenges faced by the community, educating oneself about LGBTQ+ issues, and taking action. To create a safe and inclusive environment. LGBTQ+ allies play a crucial role in supporting the community. By standing in solidarity, allies help to challenge discrimination in a way that LGBTQ+ people can't. LGBTQ+ allies promote acceptance. And they help to amplify voices of LGBTQ+ individuals. Allies provide a supportive network and contribute to the community's overall well-being. The LGBTQ+ community continues to face numerous challenges, as we all know, and some of these include discrimination, prejudice, inequality. Despite progress in recent years, there are still very significant barriers to overcome. Discrimination in employment, housing, healthcare, and education still persist, and this affects the daily lives of LGBTQ+ individuals. And their families. Transgender and non-binary individuals in particular face high rates of violence and discrimination. So what can we do? What can we do as allies? Well, first, we can expand our knowledge and be open to knowledge. To be an effective LGBTQ+ ally, it is essential to educate yourself about the experiences, the history, and the struggles of the community. Take some time to explore LGBTQ+ literature or films or documentaries, whatever appeals to you and what seems like an interesting way for you to learn. And seek out resources that provide insights into the community's diverse identities and lived experiences. The resource page on my website is actually a really great place to start because I have, I have lots of options when it comes to articles, websites, podcasts, documentaries, movies, all of the things. So start there and then move on from there. You can also engage in conversations with LGBTQ+ individuals. You can attend workshops and you can participate in allyship training programs. All of these, all of these will deepen your understanding. Next, we can challenge our biases. Recognize that everyone has biases and being aware of them is the first step towards challenging and overcoming them. Reflect on your own beliefs and assumptions about gender and sexuality. Question societal norms and stereotypes and actively work to dismantle harmful attitudes or prejudices within yourself and then within those around you. I know this can be uncomfortable, but remember, it is something we all need to do. This isn't a matter of pointing fingers or judging. We all have biases that we need to unlearn. Third, we can use inclusive language. Language plays a crucial role in creating an inclusive environment. Use gender-neutral language whenever possible and respect individuals' chosen pronouns. Avoid making assumptions about someone's sexual orientation or gender identity. If you are unsure, it is appropriate to ask respectfully, ensuring that you do not put the burden of education solely on the LGBTQ+ individual. With that said, my Ally Toolkit gives you access to the Language of LGBTQIA+ ebook, which is 50+ pages of education on sexual orientation and gender identity, on gender-neutral language, on pronouns, on all of these things that you are potentially unsure about. So take advantage of this resource that I have for you, that I've put together for you. It is a really, really great way to understand words and topics that may not be native to your way of speaking or understanding. Fourth, we can create safe spaces. One of the most significant contributions an ally can make is to actively create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ individuals. This involves challenging discriminatory behavior or language when you witness it and promoting an atmosphere of respect and acceptance. Actively listen to LGBTQ+ individuals' experiences and concerns and be an empathetic and supportive presence in their lives. This one is particularly important for our kids. Knowing their home is a safe space to authentically explore and express who they are can quite literally save their lives. Fifth, we can advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Advocacy is a powerful tool for change. Use your voice and platform to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and equality. Support organizations and initiatives that work toward advancing LGBTQ+ rights, and participate in marches, rallies, and events that raise awareness and promote inclusivity. Contact your local representatives and urge them to support legislation that protects the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals. This one will become even more important as we approach elections within the United States later this year. The next way that we can offer allyship is through financial support, which is crucial for marginalized LGBTQ+ individuals who face economic disparities. If you can contribute to fundraisers, to crowdfunding campaigns, and to organizations that assist LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing homelessness, homelessness, healthcare issues, or other financial hardships. Remember to prioritize the needs of the most marginalized members of the community, such as transgender individuals, people of color, and those living in rural areas. Number 7 on the list is listening and learning. A powerful way to be an LGBTQ+ ally is to amplify voices. Amplifying LGBTQ+ voices requires actively listening to and learning from these individuals within the community. Make an effort to seek out and support LGBTQ+ artists, authors, activists, and community leaders. Attend LGBTQ+ events and conferences and workshops to gain insights and perspectives from diverse voices. Use your platform to share their stories and experiences. Be creative as you think of ways you may implement this one. Podcasts, local publications, collaborative books, and stories shared on online sources such as Medium are all great options. Number 8 is Intersectionality and Solidarity. Recognize the intersectionality of identities within the LGBTQ+ community and the importance of solidarity. Stand in solidarity with LGBTQ+ individuals who face multiple forms of marginalization, including racism, ableism, or socioeconomic disparities. Advocate for inclusive policies and practices that address the unique challenges faced by individuals at these intersections. Learn as much as you can about intersectionality. Remember that being an ally means advocating for the rights of all LGBTQ+ individuals regardless of their background. Finally, promote LGBTQ+ representation. Visibility and representation matter. Support media, entertainment, and publishing industries that prioritize LGBTQ+ representation. Encourage diverse and authentic portrayals of LGBTQ+ individuals in TV shows, movies, books, and other forms of media. Celebrate and uplift queer stories, experiences, and achievements, ensuring that LGBTQ+ individuals feel seen and valued. The value of our kids being able to see themselves represented cannot be overstated. Being an LGBTQ+ ally is an ongoing journey of education, empathy, and action. It requires a commitment to understanding the challenges faced by the community, advocating for their rights, and creating inclusive spaces. By standing in solidarity with LGBTQ+ individuals, you contribute to a more accepting and equitable society. Remember, allyship is not just a label but a lifelong commitment to supporting and uplifting the LGBTQ+ community. As we begin 2024, let's recommit ourselves to being allies in the truest sense. Let's ensure that our actions go beyond performative gestures and lead to meaningful change. Together, together, I know we could create a world where every LGBTQ+ individual feels safe, accepted, and celebrated. Until next time.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you feel empowered to be the next ripple, whether that is through connection with your child, your friend, your community, or the world. I would be delighted for a rating or a review. Click on the link in the show notes or go to chrysalismama.com to find all of my resources, as well as to learn how you can work with me or have me speak in your organization. Please share this podcast with anyone who needs to know that they are not alone. And remember to just breathe. Until next time.