Helping LGBTQ Kids Stay Safe At Pride Events (Without Scaring Them!)

In today's episode, you'll discover how to discuss safety at private events with your teen without creating shame or fear. Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ+ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening. I'm Heather Hester, and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process. Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed, they need a parent who is grounded and strong. Let's take a breath and let's begin. Welcome to More Human, More Kind. I'm Heather Hester. Pride should feel joyful, don't you think? It should be colorful, celebratory, maybe even freeing and fun. But if you're a parent, chances are there's a small part of your brain doing what parent brains do best: running every possible safety scenario in the background, especially right now. And today I want to talk about how we prepare our kids for Pride events with out teaching them that the world is terrifying. Being informed and prepared can literally wipe out fear, leaving only calm and a clear plan. Today's episode is for the parent who wants their child to experience Pride fully. The joy, the connection, the celebration, the visibility, while also helping them move through public spaces in ways that feel grounded and safe. In this episode, we're going to talk about how to have calm, age-appropriate safety conversations before Pride events. We're going to talk about why safety discussions should increase confidence instead of anxiety, and we're going to discuss practical ways to support preteens, teens, and young adults before, during, and after Pride celebrations. Safety is not the opposite of joy. In many ways, safety is actually what allows joy to happen. I think sometimes parents avoid safety conversations because they're afraid of ruining the excitement. They don't want to sound controlling or dramatic or overly anxious. But honestly, kids usually feel calmer when adults help them think through situations ahead of time. Not because they suddenly think something bad is going to happen, but because being prepared allows them to feel ready and confident. And Pride events can bring up a lot for them, both emotionally and physically all at once. Think about it. There are crowds, noise, heat. On top of that, you layer in the emotion, the visibility, all of the excitement, which will probably lead to overstimulation. Then on top of all of that, sometimes there are protests. Or counter-protests. Sometimes there are uncomfortable interactions. And sometimes there's just the emotional intensity of finally feeling seen. For many LGBTQ kids and young adults, Pride is not just an event. It is deeply, deeply personal. And that means emotional safety matters just as much as physical safety. So instead of approaching these conversations from the angle of the world is dangerous, we can approach them from the angle of I want you to feel prepared enough to enjoy yourself. That's a very different energy. And what those conversations look like should absolutely shift depending on age and developmental stage. So if you're bringing a preteen to Pride events, the goal is not to overwhelm them with information. It's to create predictability and safety. So you want to have conversations about staying with trusted adults, having a meeting spot if separated, knowing whose phone numbers they should memorize or carry. Or have programmed in their phones. You want to have conversations about taking breaks when overwhelmed, about drinking water, especially when it's hot outside, about wearing sunscreen and comfortable shoes. Very practical. And about having them identify safe adults if they need help. This is also a really good opportunity to reinforce body autonomy and body safety. Having conversations about things like, "You never have to hug someone." "You can tell me if something feels uncomfortable." And, "You are always allowed to say no." Because pride should never require kids to override their own instincts or comfort levels. Some preteens may also become emotionally overwhelmed in large crowds without realizing it until they're already dysregulated. And this leads us to helping younger kids create an exit plan before they need one. Something simple like, if you start feeling overwhelmed, what's our signal? Do you want a quiet break spot? Should we build in some downtime afterward? That preparation can completely change their experience. Teen conversations usually need a little more collaboration and a little less instruction. This is where parents sometimes accidentally lose kids by shifting into lecture mode. So to avoid that, try saying, can we think through a few things together before you go? Topics that you might wanna discuss Include having a buddy system, talking about their transportation plans, location sharing, the importance of keeping their phones charged, knowing who they can call. In other words, making sure they have several in case of emergency numbers in their phone, checking in with you if their plans change. Having clear boundaries around posting photos online, talking about substance awareness, and discussing consent. I really want to emphasize this. Safety conversations should not feel like parents saying, I don't trust you. They should feel like, "I know things can get unpredictable in groups, and I want you to feel supported," because teenagers are much more likely to listen when conversations feel respectful instead of fear-driven, when they are conversations, not lectures. And one thing I think we sometimes forget as well is that LGBTQ teens are often navigating visibility and safety simultaneously. A teen may feel completely safe emotionally with their friends and still not want photos posted publicly because not everyone in their life knows they're out. These are nuanced conversations, and nuance requires listening. For the young adults in our life, they often need something entirely different. They no longer need our supervision or control. What they need is felt and seen support. So having conversations around topics like rideshare safety, staying aware while drinking, checking in with trusted friends, knowing how to leave situations that feel just off, understanding consent clearly, staying connected in large crowds, and paying attention to emotional overwhelm. Sometimes the hardest part of Pride isn't actually the event themselves. It's the emotional aftermath. I think we underestimate how intense it can feel for someone to experience all of the joy, belonging, visibility, grief, anger, community, and exhaustion all in the same day. Is especially if they've spent years feeling isolated. Some young adults come home from Pride energized, while others can crash emotionally afterward and don't fully understand why. Both of these are completely normal. This is a perfect place for parents to shift from manager to safe landing place. No interrogating or over-processing, just being available, asking simple, very open-ended questions like, how was it? What felt good? What surprised you? How are you feeling right now? Sometimes that openness matters more than any safety checklist ever could. I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is learning how to prepare our children for reality without handing them our fear, especially when we know the world can sometimes be unkind. And honestly, understandably, many parents of LGBTQ kids are carrying their own nervous system responses right now too. Fear from headlines and politics, from all of the stories that we've seen online, from things we ourselves have experienced. So before we have these conversations with our kids, we also need to regulate ourselves. Our kids can feel the difference between my parent is helping me feel calm. And my parent is panicking. Those are two very different experiences. If safety conversations feel difficult for you, that doesn't mean that you're doing them wrong, and it certainly doesn't mean that you don't love your child. It probably just means you haven't had much practice yet. So take a breath before the conversation. Make a mental note to stay curious. Circle back to that anytime that you are feeling frozen or you're not sure what to do next. Keep your tone calm and ask more questions than you answer. Remember that the goal is not to control every possible outcome. The goal is to help your child feel supported enough to move through the world with more confidence, awareness, and self-trust. Pride should feel joyful. Being prepared simply helps protect that joy. So maybe Pride this year looks like a packed downtown parade, but maybe it also can look like a small community event filled with snacks and a solid exit plan. Maybe it just looks like your teenager texting you, "I made it safely." Or maybe it looks like your young adult finally feeling free enough to exhale around people who understand them. Thank you for being here and thank you for continuing to show up for your children with both love and thoughtfulness. New episodes of More Human, More Kind air every Tuesday and Friday. And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with another parent who may need help navigating these conversations too. For deeper connection and community, come join me in the Kindred Collective. The link to learn more about it is at the top of the show notes. Until next time, stay grounded, stay compassionate, and keep becoming more human. And more kind.