LGBTQ Rights Are Eroding. What Can You Do As a Parent or Ally?

Hi, welcome to Beyond the Breath. I'm so glad you're here. This is going to be a more casual version of Just Breathe. It's something that I have felt compelled to do given that there's so much going on right now. I absolutely plan on continuing Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, but But I thought this would be a good way to really look at, talk about all the things that are going on in our country, in the world, and not only how it is affecting the LGBTQ+ people in our life and being an ally and just being caring human beings, but talking about other things that are going on and how, how we can make a difference and how we can speak up and who are doing good things in the world and how we we can support that. And so I thought doing this would be a great way just to do something that's a little more casual, talking about real stories, having real conversations. I absolutely do plan on having people on to interview, to discuss, and I just thought that today I would start out with a poem that I know everybody has seen flying around all of the areas of the internet. All of, you know, whether it's social media or online or Substack or Medium or whatever your— pick your poison. But certainly, you know, this started popping up last year again, the poem "First They Came" by Martin Niemöller. And I'm not sure if that's how you say it, but that's how I'm gonna say it today. If somebody has the correct pronunciation, please feel free to let me know. But I think it's a fascinating, you know, he has a fascinating story, and his version, of course, is from right after World War II, I believe. And his— it goes like this: First First they came for the socialists, but I did not speak out because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. And I've been thinking about this a lot and thinking about how it directly correlates to what is going on Now in our country, thinking about first they came for the immigrant. Who spoke out? Are you speaking out? Am I speaking out? Are we making enough noise? Then they came for the transgender people, our transgender friends and family. Did we speak out enough? Are we making enough noise? Then they came for women. Did we speak out enough? Are we making enough noise? Who else? Who's next? And I would just love to hear your thoughts on how perhaps the rest of this is going to go, and at what point we make enough noise that the poem stops, that we do something. So I really, really look forward to hearing what you have to say about this. I continually think about it and think about people in my life that I wish were saying something, that I wish would care, that I wish would see things the way that I see things, and unfortunately they do not. So Just curious if this is resonating with, with anyone. So I think the way that this is really, you know, the way, the way I'd really like to do this starting, starting today is kind of looking at what has happened in the past week and what the big stories are. And of course there are, you know, lots of different media out there doing this, but I'd really like to spotlight stories that are specifically LGBTQ+ stories, and stories that, you know, whether it's something that I've heard directly, something that I read somewhere, um, something that I just feel is important to talk about. That is where we're going to start, and then we will go from there. So my daughter shared a podcast with me today, and I have heard she loves this podcast. It's one that she listens to a lot, and I have listened to from time to time. It's called Ologies, and it's a cool, cool podcast. It's Allie Ward, who is the host and founder of this podcast, and she does all— every episode is on a different kind of ology, like, you know, biology or sociology. Anything that has an ology on the end, she examines and talks about and has cool guests on to talk about. And the one that she shared with me today was on agnotology, which is willful ignorance. And I just thought the timing was perfect to share this with me. I definitely needed, needed this today. And to hear somebody do an actual study on this was fascinating. And the guest that she had on was a man named Dr. Robert Proctor. I just highly recommend that you hop on wherever you listen to your your podcast and, and take a listen. And just take a listen to all of hers because she's phenomenal. But this episode on willful ignorance, I thought was fascinating and really helpful to understand the psyche of a lot of what's going on right now. And I feel like oftentimes things happen for a reason, or things follow each other in order for a reason. And I just so happened to get an email later today from somebody that I won't go into too much detail other than to say that it was somebody who was being willfully ignorant and somebody that I know well enough to know that they are an intelligent human being and they are well read. And I mean, one of the things that they actually do is study humans and, and, and create around, around that. So this email that I received, I was very surprised by, and I, you know, wrote this whole response because I was really activated by it and just kind of making a point about their willful ignorance. And then I read it to Steve and he was like, "Ugh, you can't send that," which, of course, rule number one is you don't send an email before sitting on it for 24 hours, right? And it wasn't mean, it was just a res— you know, a response. And it was a very spirited response. How about that? Anyway, I was reminded in all of that that I have a choice, and we all have the choice always as to whether or not we engage, whether or not I choose to engage with somebody who is being willfully ignorant, as opposed to someone who is interested in having a meaningful conversation, someone who is curious, someone who is confused, or misinformed, or not informed, or all of these other things, um, We have choices. And so I just wanted to share all of that because I'm sure most, most of you have been through something similar. And, um, and I wanted to recommend a really cool podcast that has nothing to do with politics or anything that I typically talk about on here. So, um, I recommend it as a podcast to just listen to and learn from, which is always fun. So moving on to, uh, kind of a summary of the news of the week. And this is really things that I've just have jumped out at me this week, um, that I wanted to talk about today. And, you know, as this podcast grows and changes over time, I'm sure this will grow and change as well. But for this week, these are the things that kind of jumped out at me and that I I felt important to highlight. The first is actually from an email that a friend of mine shared with me from the Campaign for Southern Equality. And a couple of years ago, they actually started— within the Campaign for Southern Equality, they started the Trans Youth Emergency Service, which helps families of trans youth nationwide who have been impacted by restrictions on gender-affirming care. I'm going to put the link for the Campaign for Southern Equality in the show notes so you can take a look, learn some more about them. They have been doing great things for many, many years, but I think especially right now, this Trans Youth Emergency Service is something that If you have a trans child, if you know somebody who does, if you know somebody who is struggling, this is a really great service to share with them. The next thing that popped up on my radar, um, was or is about two organizations that I often refer to and who I have a great deal of respect for and follow their research and their findings and share as resources to other people. And it's, um, GLSEN and Human Rights Campaign. And they have both— are both going through layoffs of a sizable percentage of their staffs, um, each as a result of loss of corporate donors due to right-wing attacks. Um, and I think, you know, we're going to see that across the board on any, anybody who's considered quote-unquote DEI. And, uh, you know, that's a conversation for, for another day, certainly. But I found this— I first was really dismayed when I saw it because I thought, oh no, these are such good support agencies and not-for-profits, and they do offer, you know, hope, and they offer, um, just so many different things. You know, GLSEN is a— is very specific to education, and of course Human Rights Campaign is specific to human rights more generally. So what I found though in reading more closely is obviously they did it to kind of reorganize, but what I— what gave me hope is that they're also doing this as a way to shift and strengthen their strategies to meet this specific moment. And that is the piece that I really want to hone in on because it's been something that I've been sitting with a lot is how Do we need to shift our approach? How do we shift how we help? And so I just encourage you, I will also link this, I'll link all of these things in the show notes, so don't worry. So if this is something that you're interested in learning more about or just curious about, um, you can read the entire article about them and, and go check out both of, both of their websites if you're not familiar with them. The next piece of news is just a good piece of news, and I had to share it because this is about the Kansas governor. And being another Midwestern state and a state that, you know, is typically thought of as pretty darn red, um, the Kansas governor this week vetoed the ban on gender-affirming care for trans youth. And I just think that's good news. And this is, this is something to be really, really delighted and happy about. So wanted to share that. And then finally, something that also just brought me great joy to see, as I had read an article about drag queens right before I got to this article, the drag queen and climate activist named Patti Gonia has become the first person to deliver a TED Talk in drag on the organization's main stage. The talk was entitled "Why Joy Is a Serious Way to Take Action." It is refreshing, it is thought-provoking, and obviously it's timely, and I encourage you to watch it. It's 10 minutes and It will just— in addition to just being visually delightful, um, it's a lovely message. So go watch it. Go, go watch it. Um, so the next part of, of this podcast on Fridays, I think, is going to be talking about, um, new court cases that are filed. And I, um, One of the ways that you can easily look this up, and really they track both bills that are in legislation as well as court cases across courts, and you can look up different intersections of what your interest is. For the purpose of this particular podcast, I'm looking at specifically LGBTQ+ bills and court cases, but I do like ACLU for this information. It's accurate. It's updated all the time. It's factual, and you can click through on everything and actually follow it and, and see what's going on. So currently they are tracking 340 anti-LGBTQ+ bills in various stages of legislature across the United States, and most of these I did not do the math on the percentage, but most of these are anti-trans bills. So definitely keep an eye on those. Again, you can go to their website and you can see, you can click on your specific state and you can look and see what is going on within your state's legislature as far as bills and what the bills are and what they stand for and, and if there are bills within bills and all of that. So if this is something that you're interested interested in, I highly recommend that you go there. They are also tracking 1,523 court cases across all levels of the courts that are specific to LGBTQ+ issues, and I just thought that was an extraordinary number because I know that we're all feeling like Is anybody doing anything? What's going on? Are people, you know, are people making noise? Are people doing something to stop this barrage of cruelty and just nonsensical rubbish that's coming out of this administration? And so I think to see something like this read about it, read what's being done, read what people are doing on the ground in these cities of all sizes is encouraging, and it is hopeful. And people are fighting, and people are doing the work, and people are looking at— and this is why I really wanted to talk about this too— is people are looking at and asking, you know, what are my particular talents? What are my strengths? It is times like this that really make us— when we're so stressed or anxious or overwhelmed, it's hard to really hone in on, okay, this is what I can do. And so being able to pause for a moment and think, okay, what are my talents? What am I good at? What can I do in my community? If you're an attorney, are there any organizations within your community that could use your advice? If you think about the things that you do well, if you're a writer, are there any organizations that could use your, your talent of writing, your talent of communicating? Really think about the things that you like to do and there is an organization out there that could use your help, that could use your talent. And, and that is how all of these organizations from the grassroots up thrive and how they grow and how they make a difference. At the end, I'm going to go into this a little bit more, so just hang on to that thought for a second. Before we get to that, I just wanted to mention one other article of really good news that I— that just came in today, Thursday, February the 13th. A federal judge blocks Donald Trump's ban on gender-affirming care nationwide. A federal judge has blocked President Donald Trump's executive orders seeking to ban gender-affirming care for transgender people under the age of 19. Trump's order is now blocked nationwide. In his Thursday ruling, U.S. District Judge Brendan Hurson, an appointee of President Joe Biden, declared that Trump issued his ban without legal authority, making his orders an illegal and unconstitutional form of discrimination. Trump's order seeks to ban youth and adults under the age of 19 from accessing puberty blockers, hormone therapy, and surgical procedures. Several hospitals stopped offering gender-affirming care in response to Trump's order, effectively forcing trans patients to detransition, a process which can cause physical and psychological pain. Stopping care in the middle of receiving it, any care, really casts doubt on whether in fact the goals are to protect the recipients of the care, Judge Hurston wrote in his Additionally, Trump's order directed the heads of all government agencies to stop funding to all medical institutions, including medical schools and hospitals, that research, teach about, or provide gender-affirming care. This would not only result in the loss of hundreds of billions of dollars that keep these institutions operating, but would also guarantee that pediatric medical students nationwide do not learn how to treat gender dysphoria for children. Judge Hurston's ruling now temporarily prohibits federal agencies from withholding or conditioning funding to these institutions. And you can go ahead, I'll, I'll put in the link and you can go ahead and read the rest of this really good article by Daniel Villarreal. Um, and it's just, just really, really good, good news. And, um, the final piece of Good news and good to do. I want to end each of these episodes with something that you can do that is good, something that, um, you know, will make you feel good, that is a good deed or a good thing to do in the world. And, um, I heard about this through a, uh, person I just started following on Substack, Erin in the Morning, and I thought this was so wonderful. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna link where they list all of, um, these different kids. Oh my goodness. But it is trans Girl Scout troops, so Girl Scout troops that support trans girls, and you can order your Girl Scout cookies from them, which I might— I don't know if you're like me or not, but I love a Thin Mint and I look forward to this time of year every year, and my youngest was actually mad the other day because we didn't order the kind that he likes. So guess what? I just went on here and placed my order. So there are, I think, like 5 or 6 girls you can choose from. Oh my goodness, actually more than that. I'm flipping through. So choose 1 or 2 or 3 and buy your cookies from them. You can order them online, they can be shipped to you. You can get your girl scout fix for the year and you can do something good. And, and just, you know, yay to the Girl Scouts of America for always being trans-positive and for supporting trans girls and creating a loving and safe environment. And I am just— that just makes my heart happy and joyful. So to round all of this up, when you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious or it's just too much, I want you to think about your talents. Think about your— what you're good at. Pick one podcast to listen to, not 10. Pick one reliable independent news source that you're going to focus on for a little bit. One organization where you can Donate your time or your money or your talents. One action that you can do, and focus on those, and I promise you that will bring you out of that state of overwhelm. It'll help get you grounded. It'll help you most of all feel hopeful. I'm really looking forward to bringing these episodes to you on a weekly basis. If you have any thoughts on what you would like for me to bring during these episodes or pieces of news that you find that are awesome and amazing, you can email them to me. My email is in the show notes, and I do always love to hear from people. Until next week, take good care and stay safe.