What 2024 Taught Us About Boundaries, Grief, & Courage, and Moving Forward As LGBTQ Allies

Welcome back to Just Breathe, and happy 2025! I am so happy that you are here. I hope that you were able to take some time over the past few weeks to literally just breathe, to slow down and to listen to what your body and soul are telling you, to be particular about what you allow into your mind and psyche as well as into your body and your physical space. I hope that you found moments of magic and joy, and I hope that you spent just wonderfully fabulous time with your people. I know this year, more than perhaps prior years, was fraught with layers of maybe anger or disbelief, feeling unseen or unheard, and perhaps being faced with relationships with people that now included an additional barrier. And so boundaries became very, very important this year. And whether this was your first attempt at setting a boundary or you're a seasoned pro, my guess, this year, this time felt particularly personal. My hope is that setting a boundary or boundaries gave you the space to take a breath, to recalibrate, or to rejuvenate. Now that you're listening to me in January of 2025, and you may be wondering like I am, what exactly is coming? How can I prepare myself, my kids, And for me, I keep asking, how can I best show up for you? What do you need? What are you worried about? What resources or support feel the most urgent? I want you to know that this podcast is not going anywhere. I will continue to bring you fabulous guests, as well as solid resources and recommendations on my solo episodes. I will continue to mix pertinent political news with ways we can support our LGBTQ+ kids and friends in this new environment. At the end of the day, that is what is most important: the safety of our kids, those we love, and ourselves. If staying informed and connection with others are both important to you, I want you to know that I started a Substack right before the holidays that includes a weekly newsletter covering LGBTQ+ news, pertinent national news, recommendations for additional new sources, and specific care tips for you and for the LGBTQ+ people in your life. When you become part of my paid Substack for $8 a month— literally $8, which is like one super fancy Starbucks drink— you'll also get access to my new private podcast called Beyond the Breath, where I'll be answering listener questions, as well as a private Discord channel where you can safely connect with others and with me. We need a place now more than ever where we can be vulnerable and know that we are not alone. Come add your beautifully unique voice and energy to a place that will be as nourishing as it is informative. I don't know about you, but I am still in the process of surveying my 2024 and planning my 2025. I started doing this process a few years ago with my friend Mia Moran and her Flow 365 group, and it has now become one of my favorite annual rituals. I'm always amazed when I take a few moments, or hours, or days this year, to reflect and see the celebrations that inevitably get overshadowed by the losses or the failures as we think of them in the moment. It's a human brain thing. It's just the way our brains work. But taking this time has given me the chance to see those moments and acknowledge them. Looking back at 2024, I have been able to hold space for the intense grief I felt losing my sister and celebrate that I gave myself space and time to sit with that, to sit with the grief, to mourn her, to be sad, which was a far cry from the version of myself that would shelve all of the sad and difficult feelings until they would flow out in one gigantic mess. I still miss her every single day, but I also know her spirit is with me. And I love that I have grown the capacity to hold that both are true. I have also been able to celebrate the publication of my first book back in May, to acknowledge all of the hard work and difficult lessons that went into its creation, evolution, and birth, to be really proud of myself, to be delighted to offer something that can help another human being,— and to also hold the disappointment that it didn't launch in the way I hoped it would. And again, to have the capacity to hold all of these feelings and all of the ones in between. And I am grateful for my capacity to hold all of what the election disappointment brought, to sit in the discomfort of all of that and know that I needed to set some boundaries. That I needed to take care of myself, that I needed to model all of that for my kids so that they could learn how to do it now, not 30 years from now. I encourage you to do your own form of 2024 reflection if you haven't already. I always feel like January is kind of a grace period month, so there's no better time than the present to start. I'm so excited about the episodes that are coming up and that the ones that I've planned for you, and I truly look forward to connecting with you on Substack and on the private Discord. All of the links that you need are in the show notes. As my friend Kelly Lubeck says, "The world needs you well." Do what you need to do to care for your energy and your soul, and then get back on your feet. Pay attention. Speak up. Advocate. And most of all, do not lose hope. Until next time, remember, you are not alone.