Why Trying To Be the “Perfect” LGBTQ Parent Leads to Burnout

Welcome to Just Breathe Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen, the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child. My name is Heather Hester, and I am so grateful you are here. I want you to take a deep breath and know that for the time we are together, you are in the safety of the Just Breathe nest. Whether today's show is an amazing guest, or me sharing stories, resources, strategies, or lessons I've learned along our journey, I want you to feel like we're just hanging out at a coffee shop having a cozy chat. Most of all, I want you to remember that that wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone.

Welcome back, my friends, and welcome if this is your first time listening. I am so happy that you are here. So a little bit of housekeeping before we get into today's episode. Apple's latest few rounds of updates caused a mass unfollowing of podcasts. So make sure that you are following Just Breathe and all of your favorite podcasts on Apple Podcasts and any of your other favorite platforms. If you need instructions, check my recent Facebook posts for an infographic, compliments of my amazing, amazing podcast editor, Troy. It would've taken me like 10 times longer to do that. And I'm so grateful he put that together because it's super, super easy to follow. So I think I mentioned this in the last show, but I am leveling up the tradition of sharing beautiful reviews with you all. If the review I read is yours, DM me on Instagram @chrysalismama, and I will answer your most burning question. Super detailed and on video posted to Instagram and YouTube. So make sure you listen up. And if you haven't left a review, I would be so very grateful for one. Today's review is from Susie N, and she says, I have really enjoyed the show and I'm looking forward to hearing more of them. I'm so grateful for all of your hard work in putting the information together and presenting it in a way that supports reassures and helps to move forward. I am trying to pace myself so that I take in and absorb the information and already plan to share the podcast with others and to listen to the ones I listen to again. Thank you for helping to build a community of support, resources, and love. Susie, thank you. Thank you so much.

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it is my honor and I am so glad that it has been helpful for you. So remember, if you DM me on Instagram to let me know that this was your review, I'll answer your question, any question on video for you. So onto today's topic. I feel like I have alluded to the fact that I'm doing things a little bit differently this year with the podcast and really not different, just returning to the roots of the show. I've been asking myself questions like, why did I start this? What information really needs to get out there? What information are you looking for or wanting or are curious about? How many layers can we peel back together? I want to have discussions around the true nitty-gritty, all the pieces. Of loving, raising, and empowering LGBTQ+ people. I want to share information and resources that I find with you, and I want to continue to learn and grow right along with you. So I am very excited about what I have planned for you this year, and I am excited actually to kick it off with this announcement. There have been some things that have occurred, some revelations that, um, have helped me arrive at this decision, but the most, most important is this. I am launching my very first book and I am so, so excited to share this with you. I know that I have talked about it, mentioned it in passing from time to time, but I wanted to wait until it was off to the printer to officially talk about it, which it is today, off to the printer. So exciting. So here's the overview. It is called Parenting with Pride: Unlearn Bias to Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen. It is being published by the lovely folks at Familias Publishing and will officially be available on June 4th. However, it is available for preorder right now, but hold your horses before you preorder anything because I have so many ideas that I wanna share with you and things that I would love for you to be part of. So just kind of put that in the, and to the side for now. So the raw and detailed version of this, the past 18 months of writing rewriting and working with an editor and a publisher who didn't always have the same vision for my book as I did. This has been an experience, and I don't even know if that's the best or right or strong enough word. Some people talk about writing and publishing a book and they liken it to birthing a baby, which I can absolutely see the parallels. To having birthed 4 of them. But I will add that it has taught me a lot, a lot that I didn't even realize that I needed to learn, such as resilience. I didn't realize that I needed more of that. However, apparently I did. Resilience when I offered up my most raw and vulnerable self on paper. Only to have it rejected. Super painful. It's taught me confidence and courage and humility and wisdom for knowing when to fight for something that was really, really important to me that stayed in the book and when to let something go. And I've learned even better self-care tactics, self-care practices, as well as that ability to take that beautiful pause in those moments when I was so incredibly frustrated. And instead of screaming at my computer, which is what I felt like doing, I would get up and go for a walk, or I would get up and call a friend, or get up and to have a piece of chocolate, something. Writing a book has been both a dream and a bucket list item for me. And I was so relieved once the editing process was complete and I was able to step away from the process for the holidays. But now that it is marketing and pre-launch time, I am beyond excited. Like, I just cannot believe that this is here. It is here. I wrote this book for you, and I cannot wait to share it with you. I have so many ideas for ways to launch it into the world, and I know many, many more will come and be, um, implemented over the next few months between me and between the marketing team. But what I want to introduce right now today is my book launch team. If you love what I do, and would like to help me get this book into as many hands as possible and in return receive some pretty cool perks and swag, details of which will come soon, click on the link in the show notes or email me at hh@chrysalismama.com to let me know that you are interested. As a member of my book launch team, you will become part of my mission of transforming the conversation around loving, raising, and empowering LGBTQ people with unique solutions for parents and families, organizations, and global outreach. And I cannot wait for you to be part of this. Many more details will be available through the book launch team communications. So if you are interested, click on the link in the show notes or email me at @chrysalismama.com. Until next time.

Thanks so much for joining me today. If you enjoyed today's episode, I would be so grateful for a rating or a review. Click on the link in the show notes or go to my website, chrysalismama.com, to stay up to date on my latest resources, as well as to learn and how you can work with me. Please share this podcast with anyone who needs to know that they are not alone, and remember to just breathe. Until next time.