Why Your LGBTQ Teen May Be Turning to AI for Mental Health Support and What Parents Need to Know

AI therapy apps are exploding in popularity, but what does this mean for Gen Z's mental health? Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast helping parents of LGBTQ+ kids move from fear to fierce allyship and feel less alone and more informed so you can protect what matters, raise brave kids, and spark collective change. I'm Heather Hester. Let's get started. In this episode, you'll understand why Gen Z is turning to AI for therapy and emotional support. You'll learn the benefits and the risks of this new trend, and you'll discover how parents, educators, and allies can guide healthy use of AI mental health tools. Stick around for today's Unlearn, where we'll challenge the idea that AI can replace human connection. So let's get into it. Picture this. It's 2:00 AM. A 16-year-old is spiraling. Their heart is racing. Their tears are just streaming. They're shaking. Their heart is breaking. And they don't feel like they can call a parent. Or a friend. So instead, they open an app and start pouring their heart out to an AI chatbot. Sound futuristic? Not. It's happening right now. Mental health apps and AI chatbots like Woebot and Replika and others are increasingly popular among Gen Z. So why do we think this is? Why do we think that this is their go-to? That their go-to wouldn't be to research an in-person therapist or Google closest therapist to me. If they're on campus, look up the hours for the campus mental health facility. Why do you think that this is? I mean, I think there's probably a million reasons for this, but I'm guessing that one of them is that Gen Z is the first generation that has always had technology, that they've grown up with technology as things have been invented, as they've become popular. They have been at those very young impressionable ages, and that is how they communicate with one another. Their first instinct isn't to call a friend. Their first instinct is to text them, and it probably isn't even to text them. It is probably to connect with them on Snapchat or on Instagram, DMing them through Instagram. Or another instant way of connecting with a friend. I mean, it's definitely not email, just knowing from the way that my own kids communicate. We also know that there is still stigma around mental health, around talking about mental health. Now, they certainly understand it. So much better than we did. They have more information, they have more resources, definitely. And, um, probably every one of our kids, every one of our Gen Z kids, whether it's themselves or a friend, has some type of mental health struggle. And yet Here we are. Here we are in this time where they're thinking, "Well, this is easier. This is perhaps more private. This isn't as embarrassing." Maybe they're feeling nervous or uncertain. Many teens and young adults use this option late at night when their therapists or their friends or their parents are just not available. And some, of course, report that these tools feel easier to talk to than a parent or a peer, which again is not super shocking. So why am I telling you this? Why are we talking about this today? Well, I'm telling you, because while technology can bridge the gap, it will never replace the deep, messy human connection that true healing, true crisis prevention, true digging in there and understanding our mental health, what all of that requires. Why else do we think Gen Z is drawn to AI? Well, another reason could be just the accessibility of it. It's free, or at least a lower cost compared to therapy. Again, there's the anonymity. They— there's no judgment, there's no stigma, there's privacy, and there's the 24/7 availability. What are the risks? Well, the risks are that there's no real empathy. AI, an AI chatbot or an AI app cannot show empathy. It's not human. There are privacy concerns, the data collection, the security. There are many, many concerns right now to be had with that. The overreliance on technology rather than actual human connection, which of course goes outside of just this topic, right? But I guess we should say more this concern, which comes from other places as well, now is seeping into the mental health space. And Maybe one of the bigger things that Gen Z, our kids, are just not thinking about is that AI tells that human what they want to hear. If they're using a chatbot, whether it's ChatGPT, depending on how well quote unquote trained it is, it's gonna tell the person typing in the question or the concern or the crisis, there's an algorithm there. It's going to tell them what they want to hear. That's not necessarily helpful. What are the upsides of using AI chatbots for mental health? Whether it's crises, concerns, struggles, whatever it might be. Or using AI apps. Again, these AI tools can reduce barriers to mental health support, right? They're a great, like, entry, first-level option. Some studies actually are showing that users do feel immediate relief when talking to a chatbot. One example of this could be a really stressed-out student who finds comfort when they're studying for their finals or a big test, and a late night AI check-in. The downside is that AI lacks the nuance of a human therapist, of a human, of a parent, of a friend. It can't read tone. It can't read body language and it can't hold long-term context. It can't show empathy. It can't hold or show a sense of, I've got you. I've, I understand you. I see you. I validate you. Some users do report feeling worse when the responses feel canned or robotic. For example, What happens when a teen opens up about suicidal thoughts, but the AI's scripted response feels hollow? AI can be a supplement, just like in almost every instance of using AI, ChatGPT, any kind of these apps or programs. It is a supplement. It is a tool. It's not a substitute. It can be used for coping skills or reminders or reflection prompts, but real human connection is needed for healing. And for parents and allies, I really recommend that instead of banning these apps, that we have conversations, that we Talk to our teens about them, ask them how they're using them, if they're using them, and what they need that's missing, what they need that's missing from the app or the AI, what they need perhaps that's missing from a therapist that they're meeting with or from relationships that they have where they discuss mental health struggles. So really, this is just a a lovely opportunity to have conversation around this topic. As someone who feels very strongly about mental health support, mental health intervention, I chose this topic very purposefully because I have, I do have mixed feelings on it, and I do feel that when used wisely, it can be a bridge, it can be a tool, just like it is, for instance, you know, right now I've been doing a lot of work with high school seniors who are writing their college essays and helping them, doing some editing help. And one of the biggest things I'm finding is that these kids are using AI to write their college essays. Problematic for a lot of reasons, but it's something that we're finding more and more of, that this is being used just to do the work instead of being used as a tool to help, a tool to give props, a tool to perhaps give options. And so I thought This would be a really good kind of heads up for parents, a good heads up for allies, adults who have kids in their lives that may be looking at this as an option. And likely, as I was not aware, that there are all of these apps and AI options out there for mental health support that kids may be tapping into. Again, late at night, or when they have a question that they're too embarrassed to ask, when they have an issue that they may feel, you know, shame around, or they're worried they're going to be judged about. So to me, this really just opens up this incredible opportunity for conversation, for communication. And it's going to be messy because we're not going to have the right words to talk about it. Our kids are probably going to roll their eyes at us for bringing it up, but it's an important topic to talk about. And I think anytime, you know, we bring up one of these things that's new, it's always going to be a little bumpy the first couple times we talk about it. But then the more that it's talked about, the more we learn about it, the more that our kids know that we are this great place to come and kind of bounce things off of and, and talk to about things that they're finding and seeing. And remember, you know, when we are— we could throw that open-ended question out there and then just shut up because holy cow, they talk, right? They share stuff and it's amazing. So I think the biggest, the biggest two takeaways for me from looking more into this topic is that AI is a great bridge. It is a great tool, but it cannot replace what we need most as human beings, right? It cannot replace the actually being seen. It cannot replace being heard and it cannot replace being truly loved. So take that into your conversations. Let this be a conversation starter for you. And I just encourage you to, to go for it and let me know what you find out. Reach out and fill me in because there's, I'm sure, lots of fun and interesting information out there. If you've been with me for a while, you know that I have loved our listener query segment. It's been such a great way to answer your questions and to bust myths. And when I was traveling a few weeks ago, I got to thinking that it would be really cool to take all of that curiosity and add action to it. So now this listener query segment has been evolved, or it has evolved into something that I'm calling the Unlearn where each, uh, each episode I will tackle one common myth or bias or assumption, something that we have all been taught to believe, and we're going to break it down. We're going to reimagine what is possible and then end with one tangible action that you can take with you that week that you do. It'll still be grounded in your questions and stories, so keep them coming, keep emailing me, keep letting me know what you're curious about. But now it will be also part of your weekly allyship practice. So let's get ready to unlearn, to reimagine, and to act. So today's myth is that AI can replace a human therapist. And as we've talked about in a lot of detail so far, yes, AI can be a great tool, but that healing still requires human connection. It requires compassion and empathy and community and back and forth communication. All things that AI cannot provide. So if you or a young person in your life is using AI for mental health support, here are some questions to ask, whether you're asking yourself or you're asking your child or a loved one, a student, somebody in your life that you know is using AI for mental health support. Ask them, What's working? Why do you like this? Why is this, uh, an option for you right now? And then ask what's missing, what they wish or what you wish it would include or it could do. Use these two questions to start a conversation that you can continue to circle back on. When we unlearn these myths around quick fixes, we make space for real healing, for being human. Technology can help, but it cannot replace the power of being seen and loved by another human. Now we understand a little better why Gen Z is turning to AI for therapy and emotional support. We've learned the benefits and the risks of this new trend, and we've discovered how parents and educators and allies can guide healthy use of AI mental health tools. I am so grateful that you showed up here today. I want you to remember that new episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday, and that future interview episodes will actually drop as special episodes. So make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to give you an excerpt of my book, Parenting with Pride, along with a guided reflection. Go to tinyurl.com/pwpreflect. The link for this is in the show notes as well. Let's continue to see the humanity in each other, no matter the differences. Until next time, remember, you are not alone.