Confidence Classic: Staying Positive Through Every Setback with Heather!

Things don't go swimmingly every day, not for me anyways. There were a lot of challenges along the way. The key is to always stay focused on the solutions. Stay focused on being positive and what that potential positive outcome can and will be. And yes, it might not be easy the way you get there, and it might not be without distractions and challenges, but you will get there. When you're in the storm, don't try to come up with a solution yourself. Raise your hand, ask for help, ask someone who's been where you want to go. Because when we're going through it, we should not be drinking our own Kool-Aid. We should not be taking our own advice. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Fasten your seat belts. I'm ready for my close-up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus Confidence Classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. Okay, so I had planned— my plans never go as I plan, they always go differently. But I had planned today on talking to you about something that happened this last week with my Keynotes I had a really big week with the launch of Women's Month and International Women's Day, and I had been hired for so many keynotes. And one of them was for Amazon, which is like the largest keynote I've ever done for— it was for more people than I've ever presented to before, ever in my life. So super exciting, like huge week. So many things went wrong. In the end, it all worked out amazing, and I'm super grateful. But I wanted to dig into this and share it with you because So often people think that everybody else has it easy, like everything goes seamlessly. That is not the case. Okay, so that was what I was gonna make this whole episode about today. But because something happened in my life today, I have to pivot and share this too because it just hit me over the head. And, and whenever something really grabs my attention, I think, oh my gosh, I have to share it with you because someone out there needs to hear it. Okay, so I'm, I'm going to tighten up what I was originally gonna do. And then pivot and share this other story. Okay, so here's what happened this week that I, I originally wanted to share with you. Had all these amazing keynotes, super excited. Of course I'm like a little nervous, right? Like anyone, when you're having like the biggest speaking engagement of your life, you know, you get a little nervous. But I was, I've put the reps in, I've done the work, I've been speaking for over 20 years. I've been doing virtual keynotes now for 2 years, multiple a day, right? Like I, I've put the reps in. Competence builds confidence. No matter what it is that you do or you're working on, the more you put the reps in, the better you're gonna get. Look at LeBron James, right? The guy didn't show up at 20 and become a basketball player. He started playing as a kid and he, and every day practice and practice and practice. And that competence builds the confidence on the court. Same thing with speaking or anything else for that matter. So, super excited about the week. On Sunday night going into the week, right, I had like 7 keynotes or something. I had an in-person book signing. I had like all these great things going on, and it was hectic, but I was super grateful and excited about it. And I was forecasting, okay, I'm gonna have this amazing week. You know, I always visualize it going well. I put it out to the universe, it's gonna go great. I write it down in my goals. I'm gonna have 7 amazing keynotes this week, you know. I really focus on what I'm doing. And so Sunday night, leading into my big week, I get an email from my building. I live in a condo building and it says, "Just FYI everyone, we will have some drilling beginning Monday and running through Wednesday this week. The penthouse has some repairs and renovations they're working on. Just letting everyone know." Now, obviously, this is one of the downsides of living in a building. You have zero control over that. This is one of the downsides of working from home, right? If I was doing the keynote in person, who cares? I'm out of here. But this was virtual. And so I had 2 full days of virtual, and then I had a day of in-person. And of course, the 2 days of virtual coincided with the drilling. Now, there's been times where drilling has been so bad that I can't record my podcast, I can't do anything. I have to get outta the house. It's awful, it's so loud. And then there's been times it hasn't been as disruptive. So I read the email and I just started laughing and I put out to the universe, oh my gosh, this is hilarious. It's not gonna be a problem because it was so close to Monday. I had a virtual keynote, right, for a huge company, multi-billion dollar company the next day. And there wasn't time to go find a studio or, you know, there was no time to create another solution. So I just decided it was gonna work. And Monday it worked. And it was so great that I could hear the drilling a little bit, but it was very much in the background, white noise, and no one could hear it, you know, through the computer. So it was great. So then that gave me more hope and confidence that the next day would be the same way. And I had 3 virtuals the next day, including Amazon kicking it off. Amazon was first thing in the morning, thousands and thousands and thousands of people, right? So I'm like, okay, putting it out there again. Everything is gonna be fine. There will be no drilling. I don't know how it will come to be, but everything's gonna go seamlessly. I'm so grateful. I'm so thankful. I know it like I know it. I mean, that was really my only solution, right? There was nothing else I was gonna be able to do at this point. So I put it out to the universe, that's what's gonna happen. And my son gets home Monday. I had a great keynote and I actually got a DM from the CEO of a $7 billion company. And it was so kind and so thoughtful. And I just, I've never had someone at that level. I've had CEOs of smaller companies send me notes, but to have a CEO of a $7 billion company send me such a thoughtful and kind, caring note about gratitude for me being there, you know, even though they paid me very well to do it, It was just so meaningful. I took a screenshot of that feedback. I saved it in my— I have an album on my phone called Fam Love, and I go in there anytime I'm having a bad day or questioning, you know, am I doing the right things or am I good enough or whatever? I go look at that file. So I took a screenshot of what he sent me. It made me so happy. It was so nice. Don't ever underestimate the power that your words and your feedback have on others. You know, if you have something nice and kind to say to someone, do it. That actually reminds me, I have to follow up with a friend of mine who connected me to a company who ended up— that led to this amazing situation happening, and I need to reach out to him and let him know about it because our words matter, right? Our feedback matters, and we have positive things to say to people. You never know how that might affect them or their life. And this guy really impacted me by sending me this DM on LinkedIn after my speaking engagement. Okay, so then my son gets home from school, I make him dinner, he gets ready, and I take him to basketball practice. This is Monday. Remember Sunday night I get the email about the drilling? Monday now, everything went well. I'm taking him to practice. I drop him off, I get home, and I get a text from him. Hey mom, I think I have to go to the emergency room. Get back here right away. My ankle's broken. Mic drop moment. I'm like, what? Are you kidding me? So I drive as fast as I can back there. I pick him up. He can't walk, people are carrying him out of the gym. I can't even believe it. And I start freaking out because I can't think straight because honestly, number one, I'm so sad for him, right? First of all. And then secondly, what am I gonna do? I have a keynote first thing in the morning for Amazon. I was heading home to prep for my keynote and go over my notes and get ready, do the things. I have a routine that I do for something massive like this, right? I needed to be in the right mindset. And I started freaking out and I said, you know what, let's— his babysitter is amazing, she's a nurse. I said, let's call Jaylene and ask her what to do. I don't even know if we go to this ER that we've been to before, they keep us there till like 3 or 4 in the morning. I can't afford to get home at 4 in the morning and sleep 2 hours to do a keynote for Amazon. Like, this is not gonna work. I was freaking out. We call my babysitter, she's at work, she's on a critical floor, really tense. She picks up and says, "Is this an emergency?" Right? Like, she's stressed out. And we say, "No, but we think Dylan either broke his ankle or did fracture his ankle. We don't know yet. Which ER should we go to?" 'Cause in my mind, I'm thinking the one that's close to my house. The last time I took Dylan there, we were there till the middle of the night. It was awful. She said, "It's a broken ankle? Go to the one near your house. That's not a big deal." "Call me tomorrow." And she hangs up the phone. My son starts laughing. He's like, "Mom, that's good perspective, huh?" You know, she's there literally on a floor where people are dying from COVID heart failure, all these different things. And the minute she heard it was just that he hurt his ankle, she's like, "Oh, no big deal. Go to the ER near your house. Get over it, move on." So it was so nice to have, you know, we reached out to someone who's an expert in this field they're able to give us perspective. And her perspective was, this is a joke, a broken ankle's no big deal, get over it, first world problems. She's right. So I calmed down a little. My son was laughing. We went to the ER that I had already developed a bias against, although I hadn't realized it. I had a bias against this ER because my son and I had been there years ago and had a not so great experience where we were stuck there for hours, you know, just, it wasn't ideal. My son says, as we're driving over, "Mom, you know, that was years ago the last time we were at this ER. Maybe it's changed, you know. Do you think you could open your mind to that possibility?" And I said, "You know what, good point," right? Like, I don't know, I haven't been to this ER in whatever it was, 6 years. But I was so negative against it because of one bad situation or one not great incident that we had. Okay, so we pull up, they completely redid the ER. The ER was like a flipping palace. It was so gorgeous. It was empty inside. We were the only ones when we walked in. Right away they got us in. Nothing like I had forecasted, nothing like I had projected. And that was the minute I really realized I was holding bias against this emergency room based upon a prior experience years and years ago, which makes no sense. The interesting thing is I was doing a keynote for Amazon the next day, International Women's Day, the theme was break the bias, like stop that people have these misconceptions about things or stereotypes or discriminate. And here I was, I was doing all of that to this hospital based on one isolated incident years and years ago. And it was all happening subconsciously. I wasn't like realizing I was doing it. I just fell into this immediately without realizing it. And that's really what happens to people with bias. Meet a different guest each week.

Hey, knowledge is key! Confidence creator. Confidence creator.

I ask you to try to find your passion.

She said.

So anyhow, we get in there, we have a great experience, great doctor. They x-ray immediately. It's fractured slightly, like it's not a break. It's, it's not bad. We get crutches, we get a splint. But then there was an emergency on the floor and we had to wait. So we were there a couple of hours, but nothing like the time before, nothing like till 4 in the morning. We were still home before midnight. I had time to put him to bed, sit and go through my notes. And then I decided to change my speech for the next day and use that experience to relate to everyone about breaking the bias that I'm holding bias about things I don't even know about. And everyone can relate to that, right? Like we have this knee-jerk reaction to things We don't know why, but oftentimes we don't stop to ask ourselves, is there any factual basis to this? Is there a reason why I should be holding this bias? So it ended up giving me, it was so funny, it was like one headache after another, right? The drilling situation, now my son with the broken ankle, and then the next thing you know, I'm using the story to open my keynote for Amazon, my biggest speech I've ever given in my life. Okay, so it all worked out well, not without a lot of headaches and challenges, which is what I want to remind you guys of, is that things don't go swimmingly every day. Not for me anyways. Maybe for some people. And if you're in that space right now, kudos to you, cheering you on, super happy for you. I am not. I am in the drilling email son with fractured foot life right now. But it did work out and it worked out great. And I got amazing feedback from Amazon and my other keynotes went killer. And then I had this great qualifying call with a, a new client that I'm speaking for. Things did turn out great, but there were a lot of challenges along the way. The key is to always stay focused on the solutions, stay focused on being positive and what that potential positive outcome can and will be. And yes, it might not be easy the way you get there, and it might not be without distractions and challenges, but you will get there. Okay, here's what now I have to share with you that just happened today. So about a week ago, I've been going to the same person to do my facials for more than a decade. I'm like beyond loyal, but she's really good, super talented woman and does a great job. Anyhow, I got a text from her about a week ago and it said, hey Heather, came up with a new business idea, wanted to run it by you. I think I'm gonna buy a big machine that's mobile and start going to hotels and residences and bringing my services to people mobile, in a mobile way. Immediately I read this text and I thought to myself, I stopped, and my mind immediately went to this. 9 years ago, she'd quit her job at someone else's salon. She'd come to my house to do a facial for me at my house, which I love. That's so easy for me. But she was telling me she hates it. And I said, why do you hate it? And she said, I'm constantly in traffic. I'm constantly losing time driving 30 minutes here, parking here, 40 minutes here. Sitting in traffic here, late here. I'm losing all those hours in the day which I could be making money. My goal is I wanna get my own location, have it being a healing place, have it be a beautiful place people can heal, and have people come there to me because I can see twice as many patients in a day versus when I'm mobile, I lose all that money, all that time, and it's stressful. I thought, okay, put that intention out there. You will find a location. You're gonna save your money right now. And every time you see a client, that money's gonna go towards the down payment on this new location, which she ended up doing, right? Like within a year of that, she, she gets her own location. So for 8 years or whatever it is now, she's had her own location. And it was so weird when I saw this text that said, I'm gonna go buy a mobile. Immediately I thought, this makes no sense to me. Why would she do that? When she's had her own business for 8 years, her own location. That was her goal. And I remember clear as day, she hated being mobile. Her goal was to get her own space. She has her own space. Made no sense. Okay, but one thing I know about myself, super important to be self-aware, is that I'm very direct. And sometimes through technology, text, email, people can take that as cold or angry or not nice. So I knew I couldn't really advise her on, text message because I knew she's a sensitive person. It wouldn't have come— it wouldn't come across right. But if I could see her in real life, it would. Well, I happened to have— a week later I had an appointment with her, which was today. So I write back, I'm confused, not sure as to why you'd want to go back to being mobile after you bought your own business, created your own dream business that you wanted so badly. Why don't we discuss this when we're in person. That's how I left it. And she kept messaging me more and more, but I didn't answer because I knew if I started engaging, it would come across cold, not so nice, and probably upset her. So I just— I said, I'll see you, you know, next week. Cut to today. I go in there and immediately I say, when I got your message that you were going to go to a mobile business, all I could see was you standing in my condo telling me how much you hated it 9 years ago. Why would you wanna go back to something you don't like? This makes no sense to me. I'm so confused. So she empties her glass and says, my business has not bounced back from the pandemic. Which, you know, is, listen, people have been hit so differently by the pandemic. I have empathy for everyone. I don't judge anyone. I'm not here to, I went through such a hard time, right? Like I feel it. So I, I said, okay, I totally get it. Most of the world did, right? Like you're not alone. Totally get it. She said, but I thought it would be back better than it is and it's not. And I need to find ways to drive more revenue and I can't. So I'm gonna go create this new business. Okay, pump the brakes. I said, let's take a look at something. And this is what I wanna share with you. When people get into hard situations, sometimes it's really hard to see what's right in front of you. So if you find yourself in a really difficult situation and you're flustered and upset, like the moment I called my babysitter, the nurse, that was me, right? I called someone who was light years ahead of me immersed in that world that could advise me properly. I was so grateful I was with this woman to be able to give her some advice, but I was also so bummed out she hadn't told me about this months ago because I could have helped her earlier. So number one, ask for help. Number two, ask for help from the right people, from people who have been where you want to go, right? And who aren't in that storm. You know, she was in the eye of the storm. She wasn't thinking clearly. She even started saying to me, well, if I have to drive for Uber, I guess I'll drive for Uber. I was like, what are you talking about? You are someone who is amazing at what you do. You built a huge business over the last decade for yourself, a successful business. You did it from scratch, from nothing. So you've already built it once from nothing. You know you can do it. Yes, your business has peeled back due to a pandemic. Normal, I get it. But now you can build it again. You've already done it once. This, this is like round 2, version 2.0 would be faster, more simpler, and you'll have more confidence because you have more confidence. You've done it before. The idea to go like drive for Uber or go to a mobile version of your company, which you never liked when you did it before, makes zero sense to me. So she's like, okay, you're right, I get it. She said, but I don't know, my business isn't coming back. I said, so let's take a look at your current business, which you love, correct? She's like, yes, I love my current business. Okay, you love it here? Yes, I love it here, but I wanna get it back to where it used to be. Easy. Let's set some goals. So we started talking about what does that look like? And she's like, well, when I have 6 to 8 patients a day, every day of the week, I'm killing it. I'm happy. I'm helping people. I'm doing good and I'm making good money. Okay, so that's the goal. 6 to 8 patients a day. Okay, great. So the first thing I said to her was, number one, the easiest way to get business is from people we've already done business with in the past. I said, do you have any documentation anywhere about the last 9 years on who your patients have been? She said, yes, I have 5 books full of information. I said, those books equal gold. Those books equal your money. Now you need to go claim it. You need to go grab it. So step 1, go reengage the past clients you've done business with. They already know, like, and trust you. They just got busy, hit a pandemic, and forgot about you, or like didn't have a reason to come back, or they were sick for a while, and then they just haven't reengaged in those old behaviors that they had before. But they will and can again if you invite them. Remind them and give them a call to action. So that's step 1, reengage past clients, easiest way to get business quickly and drive revenue. So I said, go find those 5 books, get your daughter, she has a, you know, I think she's 18-year-old daughter, smart, talented young lady. I'm like, get her to go through, organize everything, pull the emails out, pull the text messages out, like have her assistant help you so you can expedite the process and then craft an email to these people about how, number one, I miss you, I haven't seen you, right? You want it to be personalized, like, oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in so long. I hope you're well. I hope you're doing okay. You and your family are well and healthy. I've heard from so many people over the last 2 years that they've developed acne on their face from stress, from the mask. I have healed so many people, right? So that was step 1 that we talked about. Meet a different guest each week.

Hey, confidence creators. Confidence.

I asked you to try to find your passion. She said, okay, step 2. The other thing you can do is you have an existing client base, upsell them. So I explained to her, I'm like, you offer all these services above and beyond just facials for your existing client base. When people come in, have signs up in your lobby that say, do you struggle with cellulite? If so, take a look at this before and after picture. Ask me how I can do the same for you. When people are sitting in your lobby, they're gonna see that and say, if they're interested, they're gonna ask you, hey, how do I get that? Could you add that on today? Could I get that service? Right? Sometimes people only know what they know, and if you're not offering additional solutions for them, they're gonna be unaware, and that's not fair to them. Your job in whatever business you own or company you work for, offer the solutions to people, empower them to make their best decision for themselves. Don't you make that decision for them. So we talked about upselling existing clients and another way to upsell clients, as I explained to her, I'm sure your client base is primarily female and let's say they're between the ages of 30 and 60. A lot of these people have teens, have children. Why don't you offer something for teens and children that have been wearing masks and developing skin issues over the last 2 years that you're gonna offer a special for teens and college students so that every mother that comes in says, oh my gosh, that's so great you're doing that. Yes, I'll bring my kid in with me, right? So access and identify that you have this existing client base. They know, like, and trust you. You can upsell them more of your services, and you can expand beyond them within their own family if you give them a reason to invite these other people in. They probably didn't think about it, right? So that's another way. Another way with that existing client base is to offer products. Every time somebody walks out, I said, challenge yourself. Every time someone walks out of a service, they're super happy with you. They're looking good, they're feeling good. As you're walking out, say, I just wanted to mention your skin was a little dry today. You might wanna grab a hydrating mask. Have you seen these two that I offer here?

Right?

Like whatever it is. So add an additional product. You're already adding the additional services on, you're adding additional people in their family to invite to bring in. Now add a product on. Again, you're offering. This could be a solution for you. If it's not for you, great, no problem. But you want to offer it. Okay, so then after we did that, we looked at past clients, we looked at existing client base. Now we want to look at referrals. And so I talked to her about your past clients and your existing clients are your best source of referrals. Now you need to start asking them to refer business and reward them for that. For every client that comes in that you refer, you get an additional blah, blah, blah, whatever it is. Give people a reason to work hard to refer you. Business. Ask for testimonials. Use and leverage that on social media. Use and leverage that with before and after pictures on social media, right? Build up your email list and start communicating these people on the regular. Hey, this is what Cheryl had to say this week when she came in. You know, start sharing real-life stories of transformation and solving problems so people can say, oh, that makes sense. Maybe I should do that too. Okay, so those were the first 3 steps we talked about. Then I said, let's get bigger picture. Let's look at what other businesses are in the community that you could benefit by partnering. Here was my example. I said, you go to a gym, right? You are in the skincare business. People in gyms care about how they look. Why don't you go to the owner of the gym, offer them a free service at your place of business, thank them for coming in, and then say to them, I know people are struggling with cellulite at the gym. Why don't you and I partner to do a deal? For any clients that you send me, you're going to get a kickback or you're going to get an incentive, and I'm going to help solve the cellulite problem for your existing client base, which will make them feel and look better, which is your ultimate goal. And for every client you send me, I send you whatever, right? It's something that you can— you're not competitive to one another, you're actually benefiting one another, and you can all help that end user even more. I said, so set up a couple of partnerships where you're accessing the gym's email list, you're accessing their current audience, and they're motivated and wanting to drive business to you. Then I talked to her about the idea of pop-ups, right? That you could go for a half day and do some facial work inside different companies and offer a call to action while you're there. For anyone that comes back in and books in the next 2 weeks, you get blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, percent off or an additional product or, or something. But start looking at focusing on conversions, focusing on accessing other people's existing audiences because they already have it. Right? And I talked to her about she could partner with a dermatologist and say, I will do the skincare work, and when people ask me who I should see for a dermatologist, I will refer you, if in the same regard you would be willing to refer your patients to me when they're asking who does great facials in the area, right? Partner. Find ways to collaborate with people that have different audiences that will help you get further and new reach and new audiences for your business. Okay. Then I said to her, after you've done these things, right, because she had not exhausted her own business at all. I said, after you've done these things, you have an empty room that's sitting right next to the room that we're in right now. That is a waste of space and that's a missed revenue opportunity. Why don't you either sublease that room to somebody else, or why don't you bring somebody in that does massage or does spray tans or does something along the lines of the business that you're in, and you take a percentage of all of their business because they're using that empty room, right? That's money is sitting there waiting for you to collect it. So I explained to her, you need to prioritize, you need to get specific on what your goals are. How much money do you wanna make a month? Again, how many patients do you wanna see? How much do you wanna upsell the existing client base? How much of that old client base do you wanna reengage? What's that strategy look like? What does the marketing look like? What does the email list look like? What do the DMs on social media look like? You know, how many referrals do you want to go after? Maximize and run through this strategy and plan. Who are you going to partner with? And I promise you, I told her, I'm like, if you do this for one month, you will never think about this idea of driving for Uber or having a mobile business again, which you hated. And so once we went through those things and whatever else it was I covered with her today, you know, she's like, you're right. I don't know why I was thinking of doing, getting back into a business I hated when I'd already built a successful one. And yes, I got hit really hard with the pandemic, but I need to spend time building my business back up, which I've already done before, which I already have the client base for, which I have the wherewithal to do. So when you're in the storm, whatever that storm may be or look like for you, you know, for me it was sitting in that car with my son injured and freaking out about a bad experience at an ER and not knowing where to go. Call that person and ask for help. Like I called my babysitter and said, where do I go? What should I do? Don't challenge yourself in a not so great state of mind to have that right answer. Because if you're really in the storm, like this woman was, she was coming up with the wrong answers. She, she was coming up with the answer to go drive for Uber when she's really talented at what she does and had already built a successful business because she was scared. She was panicked and her mind was going to worst-case scenario. So in those moments, when you're in the storm, don't try to come up with a solution yourself. Raise your hand, ask for help, and go to someone who's been where you want to go. Because just remember, when you reach out to those people, those people are in the eye of the storm too, right? Like I was just telling you, a few days ago I was in the eye of the storm when my son had the foot issue with the ER and the penthouse grinding away at— you know, sheetrock or whatever it is. I was in the eye of the storm. I reached out to someone who was light years ahead of where I was, who was in a very calm space, or at least a more calm space than I was. They weren't in the eye of the storm the way I was, and they could advise me properly. And luckily, I felt grateful I was able to do that for this woman today. The next time you are there, when you are in the eye of the storm, raise your hand, Ask for help and ask someone who's not in the storm with you. Ask someone who's been where you want to go. And that's part of the B.A.C.K. process from Overcoming Your Villains, the 3-step process to overcome any adversity in business and life. B.A.C.K., belief, action, and knowledge. The third step is all about knowledge and accessing those right people intentionally. Because when we're going through it, we should not be drinking our own Kool-Aid. We should not be taking our own advice. Those are the moments that we raise our hand, we ask for help from that right person. So I hope this helped you. If you like this episode today, tag me, let me know, post on social media. When you tag me, I will always repost. I'm so grateful. That is the only way we grow this podcast. And I'll tell you, I'm always looking for signs that I'm onto something, this is working, like, is this the path I'm meant to be on? So when I see those posts from you, it just tells me that this is what I am supposed to do and I should keep doing it. So I'd love to hear from you. Please show me a sign if you like the podcast, if you like this episode, please post about it, tag me, and of course I will repost. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be through struggle, trial, tribulation, and everything else. Until then, have a great week.

I'm gonna make it my own freaking way.

I decided to change that dynamic.

How do you like them apples?

I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen.

No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Come on this journey with me.