How To Live and Love with Confidence

Hey, it's Heather with Prescriptive Living. This is where our savvy singles come every week to get tips to fail proof their life and love. And last week we talked a little bit about the foundation to living and loving well is built on confidence. This is absolutely kind of the starting point that everyone needs to build from to be able to reach their potential in these life and love realms. And so we're going to unpack this today on ways to do that because let's be honest, confidence in general can be very ambiguous and it can be fleeting. There are times where people can feel on top of the world and a day later the reality may be an entirely different thing. Due to a number of things that can happen in any given moment. People don't walk around in their highest value state at every moment. But the scary thing is that some people don't even do it the majority of the time. They don't yet walk in that space. So we're going to talk about some of the things that can help you develop more confidence inside of your life and to be able to walk in your potential. And we're also going to talk about the beliefs and the things that block that from happening so that you can recognize if you are in alignment with some of those areas and think about what you want to do about it. Everything in life can be altered and changed if you want it to. Now when I say that, obviously, you know, if somebody is, you know, paralyzed, that is not something I'm talking about, can be shifted and changed, so to speak. I'm speaking of like making the best out of a situation, building confidence in whatever state somebody's in. So. So I wanted to provide some context on that so we're not losing sight of what's being said and what isn't being said. But one of my mentors, Jimmy Evans, said there's four things that each person needs to have to really feel fulfilled and happy inside of their lives. They are security, purpose, acceptance, and identity. Okay, so one of them is security. Security is important, right? Just not being in danger, having basic needs for survival. Maslow's hierarchy, the basic essentials to get through that is very important. When those things are in question. It's scary. It's a. It's a very vulnerable place for anybody. And, and so that is, you know, foundationally one of the most important things. After your basic needs are met, then it's coming down to, you know, acceptance, identity and purpose. And I feel like these three can dance a little bit because when you start to Walk in your full identity, you tend to know your purpose and be living for your purpose. You kind of are operating within your own zone of genius and people. Not everybody is going to accept you. But the starting point for all of this begins with accepting yourself in the good, bad, ugly and indifferent state states of your life. They all exist inside of every person. There is no such thing as perfection. Even though some try to present that facade and some aim for that standard for their life, the reality is even some of the best aspects, the strengths of an individual person can actually be some of their strongest deficits in different times if they are not understood and nurtured. I'm going to give you an example right there. This inside of my own life. So my number one strength from Strength Finder 2.0 is that I'm an activator. What that means is I can get people and myself moving rapidly towards a outcome. And with that being said, I'm really good at activating. The challenge is sometimes I'm so good at activating and going so fast and that I haven't stopped to calculate everything that is necessary to get where the desired state is the end goal. As a result, I ended up launching a business many years ago, invested everything I had in it and hadn't thought through all the nuances. I was just activated and going full speed ahead. I ended up losing everything as a result. So when I say some of these aspects about the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent, it is literally knowing those things and accepting those things and really walking in the fullness of your strong attributes and your weak attributes and being able to bridle those. Now the beauty is we have our whole life to figure this out and that learning doesn't stop for people who are growth oriented and are looking to evolve in their own state and their own level of what they get to experience throughout their life, the more aligned they are with their purpose. And so these things do start to dance together, but there are a lot of nuances of it. And when missing pieces of your identity are not understood, sometimes you may feel bad about yourself because other people who don't understand you either and are different, you may be operating in an natural normal state. And because they don't understand and you don't understand, you start to think there's something wrong with you. I'm going to give you another perspective on this. So I am a very, some would call it impatient person. I'm very, very. I value time more than anything else. I think it's our most valuable resource And I long to use my time very, very well. I get very upset when people waste my time and I don't act right in those situations. One of my best friends at one time said, you are so impatient. And I said, what you are not understanding right now is that I value my time so much and when it is not used properly, it upsets me. Now I'm not saying that I don't like, I definitely need to handle my situations a little bit better. But I also need you to understand that when you're like our time is being wasted doing things that I think are not valuable, I need to be able to focus on the things that I need and have the right expectations set so that we are not irritated in this environment. Now that is kind of a dramatic ish scenario, but it's a real thing that played out. And you know what, if I did not know that my time was so important to me, I might really feel that bad that I tend to be impatient and irritable in situations where my time is, is being impacted in a way that I don't appreciate. And you know, I'm not saying that I don't need to learn patience. I do. And trust me, I've been working on my purpose and my identity for over 16 years and I'm still going to be walking it out probably for another 16 or three times that if I'm alive. So you know, from, from that perspective there are a lot of nuances and people often I've met so many people who feel bad about who they are. I mean I just experienced it a couple days ago with a dear friend and they, they don't. Nobody needs to feel bad about who they are. And when they under. When you understand all of the things that make up your being, you literally can walk in your identity securely and you will be accepted by those who are valuable and they will appreciate you. You will actually be able to be accepted for who you are because you will have that understanding and they will have that understanding. This is how it's developed. And in our fail proof your life course we make this understanding something very easy to start to get a hold of so that you can literally map out the aspects of your personality that make you who you are and really begin to nurture those things. Find your zone of genius. Find the things that fill up your cup. Find the things that irritate you to no end. Find the things that make up your essence on so many different levels. When you do this, you begin to become very, very confident and fulfilled inside of Your own life, and it makes a huge difference. Now we're going to cover real quick before we sign off, the things that block people from getting to this state. Okay? Okay. So one of them is when people don't have the deep awareness of themselves and all the aspects, the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent, and they're not really aware of what they are and how they play out. They are susceptible to feel bad about themselves because of the way that others respond to them and make them potentially feel like there's something wrong with them. When the reality is there's probably not anything wrong with them. There's probably not anything that they need to feel bad about. But there's a lack of understanding of self and helping others understand self. Right. That acceptance and that identity piece, there is a crisis, a small crisis in it that can be repaired with deeper awareness and understanding. The other one is some people hold their standard to a level of perspective perfection. That's what they think they have to be, because for whatever reason, that's the mindset that they're holding on to. There's a whole book on this lifestyle and people who are in this state where they really value perfection and their greatest fear is failure. And so for them to feel like they're inadequate or not aware or don't missing something in any way is a huge level of vulnerability, fear and insecurity to them. The reality is everybody has a lot of layers of lack of awareness, lack of understanding of nuances inside of their life that aren't so great. They're not perfect, they're very broken. And the more that people can really be in touch with what those areas are and understand them and not feel insecure about them, the better off people are. This is part of truly being able to be accepted in your identity for who you are. Without this piece, it doesn't occur. And I want to share that. You know, some people are so guilt stricken, they're living by a law of guilt. Guilt because of whatever, because of feeling like they're not measuring up, they're feeling inadequate, feeling insecure. The truth is, is that no matter where you're at in your spectrums of the highs and lows of your personality, if you're willing to course correct and learn and grow, there is grace for you and you can get where you're going and you don't have to carry any of these burdens. You don't have to feel bad about the areas inside of your life that maybe aren't where you want them to be at this stage. So that is something letting go of guilt, starting to embrace grace and being real about the areas inside of your life that you know, maybe you were afraid to embrace due to the standard of perfection that you're trying to have. It's not real. Nobody has it. Nobody has it. No matter how perfect someone is. Gigi Hadid's father had raised her and if you don't know who she is, she's a model. She's been a model since age 2. Her father, I mean, she was brought up in a home that is a ninety million dollar mansion. She's a beautiful young girl and her father raised her saying there's always going to be people who are smarter, prettier and nicer than you. And that keeps her grounded. And there's something to be said for that, right? When you just can recognize that no matter what, no matter where you're at in your status of financial security and your beauty and your, you know, fame and your purpose and all of that, there's always going to be somebody who's got something a little bit better and to stay rooted and humble in those places. And it's, it should serve as an encouragement to all of us because there's always a higher level that could be attained no matter where someone's at and where their standards at. And the final thing, trying to find value and purpose and meaning in the externals, whether it's a title, whether it's possessions, whether it's another person, these are things that can hinder people from focusing on the right outcomes to get the right results and being able to live their fullest life. So I just wanted to toss some ideas out there about how you can start to walk more in the fullness of your purpose, your identity, your security and being accepted for who you truly are. Because it does build your confidence in your life and it makes you very attractive in your existence. It makes you enjoy your life with yourself and it makes others enjoy their life with you. It's where deep understanding, understanding and deep intimacy and a good time can be had. So if you want to learn more, you're going to want to join us in at least the Fail Proof your Life course. And if you want to learn how to master and align on the love course, you're going to want to join us for Fail Proof your Love, which together is the Uncommon Love series that you get at a discounted rate. So you can find us at Prescriptive Living's Facebook page. We'll have description details in the notes below below. Cheers to living and loving. Well, and we'll see you all next week. Bye.