Heather from Prescriptive Living explains the single foundational idea that shapes whether a relationship thrives or fails long term. She covers character, communication, and personal responsibility as the core elements that determine relationship quality.
Hello, it's Heather with Prescriptive Living. This is where our savvy singles come to get tips to fail proof life and love. And today we're going to talk about a very foundational concept that when practiced, will enable a person to be in the 12% who rocks their relational union long term. Okay. And so stick through if you want to understand this, because this simple idea is the difference maker in being able to have an uncommon relationship or to be more like the common couple, where there's a lot of feeling like they're settling. Disappointment and isolation. Not good. Okay. So the initial part of a relationship is all about what I call the science, right? The initial connection, chemistry, the attraction that I'm high on you phase. And that phase can last anywhere between a couple months and to a couple years, depending on the individuals. And so it's an exciting time where everything just kind of happens naturally. But after all that excitement wears off, what you're stuck with is the person and their character, their personality, their behaviors, their skills and communication conflict, all of that. And depending on how well those things are established and nurtured, and how well those things are established and nurtured inside of your own life will definitely have a direct impact in the quality of the relationship. And so a lot of what we talk about in the courses we put together is about the art of dating, right? It is very much about the character and the behavior and the skills of being able to do relationship well, because these are the things that carry a relationship into a healthy space. And to be honest, you don't even really get to see a person's true colors until that one year into a relationship. And so when you're in that initial phase of just connection and attraction and hope and all of that, it's important to remember that before you fully entrust your most fragile organ into another person's hands, you really want to evaluate how well they're equipped and willing to nurture such a gift. Because to impose or expect them to be someone different than they are is not really fair. It's not how it works. Everybody gets to show up as they are, and they eventually we all expose layers and depths of who we are at the core of our being. And so it's that information that you want to utilize to determine how well a person is actually capable of being a good partner. Here's the thing. Here's the one thing I want to share. We all teach people how to treat us. So if somebody is not giving us what we want in return, there's Actually a responsibility that we have in this that is greater than the other person's responsibility. And so it could be in our selection, our people picker could be broken. And we may be selecting people to, like, fall in love with who really are not good candidates to be, you know, entrusted with something so valuable and so fragile, so that can be part of it. When we trust our heart to a person who is not really trustworthy of that type of vulnerability, that isn't really the other person's fault. If they're not up to snuff in their character and behavior, that is just who they are. And so that is where part of it becomes our own responsibility in the choosing. The other part is in how well we're articulating what we want and what we expect. When we're not doing it, we're leaving everything to chance. And then when it's not being met, a lot of times, you know, discontentment, dissatisfaction, anger can show up. And sometimes it shows up in criticism, sometimes it shows up in contempt, sometimes complaining, sometimes closing off all of those things. And with every decision we make, we're either building our kingdom or we're tearing it down with our words or with our actions. And so people are reactive, responsive to what's shown to them. And so with that, it's very, very important. When you have the ability to set your foundations based on what you want, then you can work together to build that type of connection and understanding and find people who are willing to be part of that journey with you. When it's not done. People very much experience what we call the common couple realities. And it's just where there's a lot of isolation and dissatisfaction that happens in the union. And so we teach people how to treat us. And if today you're not feeling like you're equipped to teach people to treat you the way that you should be treated to have a good, healthy relationship, then join us in the Uncommon Love series. We have the workbooks available now, and we'll have. We have the trainings that are live trainings that happen every single week, and we will help you get set up on a firm foundation. You have the ability to create the outcome that you desire. But if you don't do it with skill in the art aspect, then you're leaving things to chance that may or may not work out well for you. I always say a key indicator is you can tell how well you're set up to successfully do relationship. If you had an amazing model before you who taught you how to do relationship well, parents or mentors, people who raised you in that regard. If you don't, then you shouldn't expect to have a relationship that is better than that unless you get additional training and preparation to do so. They say about five to eight hours of training can change your results relationally drastically. And in the scheme of important metrics, there's nothing that impacts well being more than any other factor than the quality of your deepest relationships. So this is not something that you just want to let que sera sera happen. If you want. If you're not having the type of experiences and outcomes you want today, it's very, very important. We teach people how to treat us and we get what we tolerate. And if what we are getting and what we are tolerating is not what we desire, then the only person who can change that is your reflection in the mirror. And so if you want better outcomes, join us in these courses, join us in these programs and make sure to subscribe and like and join us every week as we put out new content to share tips to fail, proof, life and love. Until next week. I'll see you all soon. Bye.
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