The Science and Art To Dating Well

Hi, everyone, it's Heather with Prescriptive Living. This is the place our savvy singles come to get tips to fail proof life and love. Today I have a disclaimer. If you are in a relationship already that is serious, where you're married or you're engaged in planning full speed ahead to get married, or you have a relationship that you really are trying to make work and there's babies involved, things like that. I may ask you to not be in this video today because we're going to talk about some of the things that are really prevalent in relationships that are common, that can be avoided. When we talk about the science and art of dating, we're going to get into the meat of this. But when people reconcilable differences, things like that, some of them that feel that way don't like each other or roommates, they stay together just because they're okay with the comfort and security of the commitment rather than having the quality of the relationship be the priority. There are different mechanisms and reasons why people do what they do. Everybody desires to have a good relationship, but the thing is, the truth is only about 12% do. And how well people master not the science of dating, but the art of dating for your goal is what determines how well that relationship is going to be. And so because we're going to talk about some things, we're going to expose some things that may make people who are in relationship realize, like get irritated even more with their partner because the differences are so dramatic. And. And our goal is to help people before they make big commitments, to know what to look for, to major on the majors and to have the skills to have success. And so that's what we set people up to do in our course. Our courses Fail Proof Life and Fail Proof Love courses. So we do that. So I'm going to get into the meat of this, right? The science of dating is the chemistry, right? Like, is there a connection? Is there just that attraction to one another? It's undescribable. I mean, it's really a chemical connection thing that just sometimes happens with people. And a lot of times it's not even with who you think or expect it to be. There's just something that's drawing you to. That's the science. Now let's talk about the art. Okay. A lot in my other videos, if you've ever seen them, we talk a lot about how having life and getting what you want out of life, 80% of it is the soul stuff, the thinking, the way we think, what we believe for what our will is right. Are we willing for what we want? Are we stubborn and we going against things? Because we're, you know, just more. We're blocking ourselves, basically. And our will, our will can be towards things or it could be against things. And how that plays out has huge impact. And then the emotions, right? Like how well are the emotions regulated in life? The soul stuff makes up 80% of our life. And the other 20% is skills, right? So skills is the minority part. The big part is the behavior, the attitudes, the actions that people make. So when you're choosing your partner, are you evaluating the behavior? Are you evaluating in great detail their character, their attributes, their personalities, things like that? Because if you're not, these are the things that generally send people into a state of disappointment. Disconnection, more like the common couple where they're just existing or not doing well together. So we're going to talk a little bit about some of the things that make up the behavioral aspect. When, when I say some of them, I'm going to rapidly go through probably 20 or 30 of them just to give you perspective on the things that we cover in the course to bring awareness to these things and how they can impact the character aspects, on choices, their commitment, what they will for do. They actually will towards things when things are going good or bad or do they will against it. That's directional, behavioral type, movement, their skills in conflict and communication. The point in time that they're at in their life, like what's happening to them, how ready are they for the things that you desire and want? What are some of their priorities? What is their connection, style. That's a major. What is your compatibility on the seven core needs of the sexes? A lot of the things we're going to talk about in some of this behavior stuff, impact when there's misalignment, impact being able to meet the seven core needs of the sexes, which when those are disrupted, people are not feeling fulfilled in the relationship at the level anywhere near where they could be. All right, so let's get into some of these differences. Somebody really has a very short attention span, right? Their focus is very limited versus people who are totally odd or obsessive, compulsive. I messed up those words together. That's not a word. So obsessive, you know, versus very short attention span or somebody very detailed, nuanced. Versus someone who's big picture. Someone has, you know, an experience rich life. So they're really dynamic and interesting and they draw people to them and they're with somebody who doesn't have those experiences, the misalignment on that connection style can make it hard for people to really stay attracted long term. There are people in the workforce right now, engagement. I'm doing an engagement webinar and high performance organizations webinar. And there's some really interesting data, showed that in any company, about a third of the people are actually engaged. Of that 32% who are engaged, 80% of them are simply satisfied. So they're not even like all in. They're just happy that they got a job. They like some of the people they work with. They like what they do. They come in, they do their job. Not fully invested. So the majority of people in an environment like that are not fully invested. And that has huge implications on a lot of different levels. There are things that people can do in work, in work environments and in their home environments, relational environments that get people more engaged. This is the behavior stuff, right? This is also the skill stuff. When people have the dynamics to do all this stuff well, they can keep, they can keep the engagement in their relationship and in their productivity at work well, but a lot of people don't have it. And so that's why these realities exist. That's why our business exists, to help people get to the other side of it. My point in that Is of those 80% out of that 32%, they simply are just satisfied by having a position, right? They're happy to have a place to go and they're driven by security. So in that if you're in relationship and you're one of those people and the person you're in relationship with, their standard is much different than that. They actually want much more. That can cause huge reconcilable challenges and problems, right? Is somebody a risk taker versus somebody who's driven by security? What is the type that fills up your cup? There's three different types of how that happens. Can be extremely important to be coming into your connection time with another person and be filled up without needing them to provide and fill a gap that they may or may not be able to meet. What's your dreams like? What are your blueprints, your desires? Things like that? Obviously things that everybody knows about love languages. Yes, super important. Scratches the surface just a wee bit, but helpful, no doubt. What is your love style? Right? This is a huge thing that can impact a relationship. What is your level of drive? What are you driven by? Are you a doer? Are you a thinker? Where do your source of significance come from? Are you Emotional, Are you logical? Which one are you leaning more to the sides of? What level is your standards? At what level is the person you're doing life with? Where are their standards? What is your experience? Levels within, relationship within, life within. Professionally, all of those things can impact a person's ability to connect somebody into materialism, spiritualism, egos, altruism, ideals and principles versus realities and results, Pleasure versus having high standards for how people behave and live. Morality, is it objective or not? People, if they're intellectually driven from a rational perspective or romantic driven from a heart perspective, somebody who's a skeptic and doubts everything. Right. Versus somebody who absolutely believes in absolutes and has a level of seriousness commitment in these areas. Do people look at the world from an opportunity standpoint or a problem standpoint? Right. And so leadership ability. Right? This just goes on. Is your mindset limited or is it abundant in thinking? Scratching the surface? Barely most actually 99% of what I talked about. Right. There are super important things to understand, to have understanding and connection. None of those are the majors. None of those are the majors for a healthy, vibrant relationship. They are things that you want to know how to navigate so that you can be clear headed and understanding about the type of person that you're attracted to, the type of person you are, the type of person you don't do well with. I will tell you, people who are inexperienced in dating and they're just waiting for Mr. Right to show up when Mr. Right shows up, people, because of their lack of experience, they may be in big trouble. Dating people and dating the wrong people and even learning that understanding is like getting academia to be able to do this stuff. Well, it's super important, but there's lots of reasons why people make the choices they make. Okay, my point today, all I wanted to do is just kind of pique your interest when you're looking at somebody to do relationship with and maybe even establish a future with. Are you looking at it from the science aspect, the basic connection? Are you looking at it at the actual art of this stuff that makes up 80% of whether that relationship is going to go great or not. It's the attitudes, the thinking, the thoughts, the behaviors, personality, all this stuff we're talking about 80% of the game. 80% of the game. And so we help you master that. And if you don't have that understanding but you want to get it. Join us this Sunday, 5:00pm Eastern Time for our training as we're going to go on a deep dive to getting you to a place of really, really understanding what it takes to relate well another person aligning on the majors and the skills. Now I will tell you that is this Sunday is the living well course. The following Sunday is the living well course. And the living well course is really where we're going to go. Map out all of these 30, 40 different layers and we go into a deep dive. These are the personality, behavior and gender differences understanding course. A lot of the meat of that course does apply to the living well course or living well course the understanding of it. But it's too much, too much to cover all in one session. So this Sunday's course is all going to be kind of skill related and understanding how to set the standards which you need to set for success from the art side of dating. Well then the following Sunday is going to be all the meaty details to be able to really start to think about what the personality, gender, behavioral things are that are good, that are bad, that are indifferent and ugly inside of your lives and inside of others lives and how to build really great connection and have a good time in spite of all of it. Because everybody wants to be known and loved truly for who they are and you have to have deep understanding of self and others to be able to do that. So we equip you to create that reality. Cheers to living and loving well. We'll see you all soon. Bye.