David Kessler discusses how intensity and duration influence the grieving process, noting that strong emotions (sadness, anger, thoughts of giving up) are normal reactions after a loved one dies. He highlights both emotional and physical manifestations of grief and frames intensity/duration as key factors in understanding grief.
What do intensity and duration have to do with grief?
Intensity and duration are key factors when dealing with your grief. So for instance, if you have sadness, of course, that's unexpected, maybe sadness that you can't go on, very expected. You may have anger that your loved one died. Very normal. You may have feelings like, I don't even want to live anymore. I just want to give this up and just join my loved one in death once again. Normal people sometimes even have.
Physical.
Manifestations that they may have things like the same pain their loved one had. Obviously get everything checked out by a doctor if you feel like anything is physically going wrong. However, just know when we look at these things that people feel, we ask what's the intensity and what's the duration? If you just feel something for a moment and it's a fleeting thought, that's fine. That happens in grief. If there's an intensity that you cannot handle, that's something you should seek help for. So think about intensity and duration. We also often think about your your loved one's objects. Let's say perhaps you've lost a child. Unbelievably gut wrenching and difficult. You of course probably have their room intact for a while. Once again, look at intensity and duration. A week to have your child's room intact. Of course that's normal. A month, very normal. Five years, 10 years, we may go. There's something deeper there that needs to be handled. So think about the intensity and duration of your feelings and the circumstances that you're encountering.
