Anita Moorjani on her book "Dying to Be Me" talks grief with David Kessler

All right, welcome, everyone. Say hello.

Hello. Hello. Hi there.

Welcome, all.

All right. Hi there. Welcome, Facebook friends. Welcome, Tender Hearts. I'm glad you're here.

I got word that Anita is running just a few minutes behind, so hopefully she'll be joining us any moment. I am so glad you're here. Welcome. Some of you are watching from Tender Hearts. Some of you are here in the Facebook. Let me know where you're from. I see in Tender Hearts we have Signe from Norway and Arlene's here, and I would love if you're on the Facebook group to say hello and let me know where you're from. There also. Hi, Alice. Hi, Glory. Hi, Jan from British Columbia. All right, Amelia's here. Sandra's here. Welcome. Hi, Robin. Hi, Mara. Welcome, welcome, all.

All right. Glad to see everyone here.

Welcome.

All right.

We'll be joined by Anita in just a couple of moments, but let me take time to see where everyone's coming in. All right, New Jersey is here. Utah is here. Patty's from Minnesota. All right, welcome.

Nice to see everyone coming in. Let's begin, as we always do, with a moment of silence for those who are.

Living in our heart, living in our soul, and send them love, because I believe they still feel it. So let's take a moment of silence and send them love.

Thank you so much. If you're new here, welcome to Tender Hearts. If you're new to the Facebook group, I'm so glad you joined me. The Facebook group was started after we had the COVID shutdown in March, and people were without a grief group and there was nothing online yet. And we decided if we couldn't be together, we. We were going to find a way to virtually join in with one another. So we are here and have been here together. So I always say, please feel free to post if you're having just a tough, tough day. Post if you're having a good day. It gives other people hope, so feel free to share. We want this to be a safe place here on this Facebook group, and we know Tender Hearts is such a safe place. All right, let me just check here. All right, hang on.

All right. Nita may have the wrong link and would really like this link, so let me get this link to her real quick. Let me see if I can double task. Let me find our link, wherever it may be. I don't know if it'll. Let me see the link when I'm on the link. All right. But I will get it to her because she wants to join us and we want her to join. So. All right.

Let me send this over to her. I'm multitasking right here in front of you on zoom. So here we are doing it. All right.

One moment, please. That's her passcode. She's going to join as a one of the guests and look like she's in tender hearts, because I don't know how to send her the other link. And let me just see if I can find the link to send her. Okay. Because I know my tender hearts folks are on the direct link that I'm going to send to her also. All right, let's send this and get Anita on with us.

Okay.

Here we go.

All right, I have sent her the link. Hopefully she'll be joining. I gotta keep a lookout for Anita.

All right.

So this is live, so you get to see me scrambling, waiting, and here we go. But Anita Moorjani is worth the wait, I can tell you that. If you haven't seen her before. Up. And she is here.

Hi, Anita. Let me bring you on.

All right.

Anita will give you the power to turn your camera on and to unmute.

Hi there.

Hi. Can you hear me?

I can. It is so lovely to see you.

Oh, it's wonderful to see you. I was worried. I didn't know. Yeah, technology, huh?

I know. We're all here and we're live on Facebook right now, and we're live in groups, so you've made it.

So I made it. That's all that matters.

Well, you are colorful as ever. It's so nice to see you. I was thinking back when we saw each other last. I think it was literally on the stage of Dr. Oz is the last time I saw you.

Yes, you're right.

So much has changed in the world since then, hasn't it?

My God, hasn't it ever? But I communicated with you in between, you know, because I heard about some stuff that happened with you.

But you know what? You're right. I think we did see each other at maybe Louise's birthday party. Louise Hay's birthday party.

Was that we could have. We could have. Was that after Dr. Oz? Because, yes, we did see each other as Louise Hayes.

I know we talked about the death of my son at one point, and you were so, so kind to me, and thank you for that. And, oh, gosh, I feel like you and I come out of.

I don't know, we're cousins in the same family that we both sort of came up in the hay house world and almost like, I don't know, what's the word? Your Mentor, confidant, was.

Wayne.

Wayne Dyer, one of the heads and great authors at Hay House. And mine was Louise Hay. And I remember us sitting at dinner before Dr. Oz and talking about dealing with those losses and how it's almost like it sort of disrupted our whole family. And.

For me, I kind of had to refine my footing, as we often do in grief.

Yes. I can only imagine. And, you know. Yeah. And so much has happened and changed since then. It's just. But it is so good to connect with you again. It really has been ages, and it feels like ages.

It has. And so it is 11. 11. So let's start there. I wonder. We're live in my Facebook group that was started.

Almost over a year ago now when the pandemic hit and everything closed down and there were no grief groups and people's loved ones were dying without them being there. They haven't been able to have fun funerals. We're also in another group of mine, Tender Hearts. And so many people here have been raving about you and excited and love your work and your books. And I wonder for the people who don't know you, I would love if you would just maybe share your story first. And let's start there.

Sure. I'd be happy to. So basically, in. Back in 2002, I was diagnosed with a form of lymphoma called Hodgkin's lymphoma. And over a period of four years, it progressed. And I reached a point where I had tumors. So it spread and metastasized throughout my lymphatic system.

So I reached a point where I had tumors, some of them the size of golf balls, from the base of my skull, all the way around my neck, under my arms, in my chest, and all the way down to my abdomen. At that point, my body stopped absorbing nutrition, and so my weight dropped down to about 85 pounds because my body just wasn't holding on to anything. And so I looked like a skeleton. My muscles had completely atrophied and I couldn't walk, so I was always lying down or in a wheelchair. My lungs would fill up with fluid, which doctors would have to drain out frequently. And this was around January of 2006.

After dealing with the illness for almost four years. And the doctors told my family that I only had three months to live. Well, on February 1, 2006, I went into a coma and my organs were now shutting down. And that's when the doctors said these were my final hours and that I was gonna. That I wasn't Even gonna make it through the night. And so but while I was in the coma, my physical body was in the coma. My eyes were closed. I was still aware of everything that was happening all around me. I could see, hear and feel.

I could see here and feel everything that was going on. And it wasn't like I was viewing it with my physical eyes. It was like an awareness. It was like I had 360 degree peripheral vision. It was like I was outside of my body. I was no longer inside my body. And I realized I was dying. But I realized that, wow, I'm dying, but I feel more alive than ever. And so what the people around me didn't realize was that I actually felt amazing. So there they were already starting to grieve for me because the doctors told them I wasn't going to come back. And this was the dying process. And my organs were shutting down. I was actually feeling light and free and free of my body.

And I was feeling like all the pain of all the last four years was gone. All the fear was gone. The fear of the disease, the fear of the treatments, the fear of death, all gone. And I just felt incredible. And I wanted everyone to know I felt incredible because they were all feeling, they were all grieving for me.

But I wasn't able to communicate with them because I had no biology. My body was like, gone.

And as I continued to progress and I was aware of everything that was happening around my body, I could hear what the doctors were saying to my family, and I could hear all the conversations. I could see what they were doing. And they were doing stuff to my body. They were poking needles into my veins and they were taking fluid out of my lungs. And I was aware of all of that. And then I reached a point where I was aware of other people, other beings around me.

And I recognized some of them as deceased loved ones, like my dad, who had passed away 10 years before, my best friend, friend who had died two years prior. And they were there to greet me, like, to help me through this process. And I felt they were there to help me. There were other beings who I didn't recognize from this lifetime, but I felt that all these beings were there to. They were there for me, to support me. And I felt a tremendous amount of unconditional love for all of them, from all of them. My dad, I just felt like this absolute unconditional love from him, which I had never received from him in my life, in my physical life, because I'd always had a turbulent relationship with him where I'd always felt I disappointed him.

And my best friend. I had felt really guilty about certain things because I hadn't been there for her when she was dying, because I was going through my own stuff. But all I felt from her was just tremendous, unconditional love. And I felt just surrounded and overwhelmed by unconditional love. And it was not any kind of love I'd ever felt in this physical life before. I felt it coming not just from the people who I recognized, but it was like it was coming just emanating from everywhere, from everyone, from the universe, from Source. And it felt like I was loved just because I existed, Like I didn't have to do anything to earn it or to prove myself. And I had spent a lifetime trying to prove myself, trying to be liked. I'd always been a people pleaser. I'd always been someone who worked really hard to be accepted and. And to be liked. And I always felt I had to win other people's approval. And here I was on the other side, death. In death, I was, like, dead. And I was loved unconditionally. Like I didn't have to do anything to prove myself. It was just the most amazing feeling.

I reached a point where I felt I had a choice as to whether to come back into my physical body, to stay on that side. No part of me wanted to come back because it was so amazing on that side.

But my dad wanted me to know that I had a purpose here and I hadn't fulfilled it, and that I still had gifts waiting for me here and I needed to come back.

But I felt that if my physical body was so sick and I had. Was like, dying and my. And I was suffering and my family was suffering, what was the point of coming back? But then I entered what I call, like, a state of clarity where I had this clarity where I understood why it was that I had got sick. I understood that it was because I had never loved myself. I'd always suppressed myself. And, you know, there's so much more there. Understood how I had never allowed myself to shine, and I'd always made myself small and repressed every cell in my body until they were so repressed that my cells kind of manifested as cancer.

And so I understood that now that I knew this, if I chose to come back and express myself fully, my body would heal. And so it was at that point that I made the decision to come back. And when I did, my dad said to me, now that you know the truth, go back and live your life fearlessly. And that's When I started to come out of the coma, and I'd been in the coma for about 36 hours, but within four or five days, the tumors, all those golf ball sized tumors, tumors all over my body, they started to shrink by about 60%. By four or five days the doctors were, could visibly see, they were like softening and shrinking. And then in three and a half weeks, they couldn't find any trace of cancer at all. And they were stunned. They didn't know how to explain it. They kept saying that it's not possible. We're going to keep looking till we find it. But in five weeks they had to let me go home to live my life cancer free. And also at the time when I came out of the coma, I was saying things to my family. I was saying, oh, dad is here, it's not my time. And everybody thought that I was just drugged and that's why I was saying all these things. But then I started to say things like, oh, isn't that the doctor that took the fluid out of my lungs at full 4am yesterday morning? And they were like, you were in a coma. How could you have seen it? And I said, and isn't that the doctor that said, I won't even make it through the night? And they said, oh, he didn't even say that in the room with you in it. He said it outside the hallway. And so they realized that something had happened that they couldn't explain. And so that was. And so anyway, that was in March of 2006, which is 15 years ago. And here I am, still cancer free.

So let's start there. There's a lot to talk about there. And then I want to get into your new book too today. So let's start that story.

I've been at so many of your lectures where you're literally putting up the medical records and you're talking to people because it's such an amazing story. And it became your book Dying to Be Me, which is just a really wonderful book. And that's what we work together on in so many different. Whether it was Hay House events or the Dr. Oz. I.

Wrote a book called Visions, Trips and Crowded who and what yout See before youe Die, which is the kind of stories of deathbed visions. And I always say in deathbed visions, the only people who get to tell the story.

Are the family members because the loved ones die. You're one of the few people who has come back to talk to us about it. So let me begin there and let me start with a Couple of things I heard in the comments.

First of all, you made a decision to come back. There's many people on here, most people on here who have had a loved one die. Does that mean our loved ones.

Had the opportunity and chose not to? Or do you think everyone has that decision? Or for some people there isn't a decision. It is sort of the end of their life.

I think it's a combination of things. So I think for some people.

It is like they've served their purpose, it is the end of their life, and so they don't get the choice. I think that that was what, perhaps it was possibly a decision they made before they even came into this life, that, that they are going to live this long or that they're going to achieve this, this and this. And once they're done, they're going. So. So I think for certain people that's the case. I think for certain other people, they get the choice. But I believe that if their life is super challenging, if they are stuck, and it doesn't, and I want to be clear here, and it doesn't mean that they don't love the people here enough, but I think that some people do choose to stay on that side when they get the choice. And so I want to reiterate that it does not mean they don't love their family here enough. It absolutely does not. Because when we are in that state, we're in a state of unconditional love and we make the choice that we believe is the most loving choice.

So.

So let's say if somebody actually believes that they can do more for their loved ones from that side, maybe their relationships here are so complex and so.

And so convoluted or they've backed themselves into a corner in different situations that if they were to come here, it would be more challenging not only for them, but their loved ones and to disentangle and unravel things that are here, then they choose to stay there. In other words, they make the more unconditionally loving choice when they make that choice as to whether to stay there or come here. Because the default choice, and I will say this for anybody, anybody who crosses over, if they are given a choice, the default choice will be to stay there because it is so incredibly beautiful and freeing. And then there is the evaluation. Oh, okay. Which is the more loving choice? To come back or to stay there? And so it's always made from a place of. So if your loved one did not come back, it's not because they didn't love you enough. It's either because it was their time or it's because they felt that they could do more for their family from that side.

And, you know, given that, none of us get to live forever. And one of the things that I remember working in end of life for so long and working in hospitals and ICUs that I thought, you know, our bodies.

In our old age and in illness, they have to decay and become unlivable or we'd all sort of want to stay here forever. You know, I can remember my father even talking about, you know, if this body wasn't, you know, getting so old and unworkable, I'd be staying here forever. That's before, you know, he died. He said that. And I also know with my younger son, I had this sense his life here was unworkable. That either.

That incarnation of our loved ones either can't make this life work because of circumstances, their life, things beyond our or their control, or their bodies no longer workable anymore.

Yes, it's exactly a hundred percent. That's exactly what I mean. People can get into situations. I mean, you know, in another different kind of example could be somebody could be involved with, with people, gangs, whatever. They could be in, in situations that they just can't, can't unravel, can't see, see themselves getting out of. And sometimes they may take their own life, other times they may manifest an illness. And even that illness, if it's manifested because of their stress of being in a situation that they can't get out of, and that happens, they manifest an illness. It could be a heart attack, it could even be cancer. And that is also a way out for them.

So we do that.

This idea of manifesting an illness, I want to be careful because Louise and I, Louise Hay and I used to have these conversations. It's not like they're making a conscious choice. This is so on an unconscious level that someone is going, oh, I'll choose cancer. It's on a very unconscious level that.

This is all going on very, very. So, yes, we have to be clear. We never say that I'm going to choose an illness, nor is it easy to unconsciously manifest an illness. So I don't want people to be afraid that, oh my God, am I manifesting this illness? No, don't think like that. It's more like your bodies are incredibly smart. Your bodies are incredibly intelligent. They're more powerful than you believe they are. They actually, really are powerful. They actually heal very, very fast if you give them the right circumstances.

But I'm talking about something a little bit different. I mean, and just yet another kind of example is that, you know, when Carrie Fisher passed away, her mother, Debbie Reynolds, of course her mother was a lot older and probably already lived a really good long life, but she literally died. I think it was a day or two days after Carrie Fisher passed away. It was almost like her purpose was finished because she was there because her daughter was battling cancer. But when her daughter went, it was like Debbie Reynolds. It was like, I'm done. I'm going to be with my daughter. And that's what I mean. Our bodies are extremely intelligent. And so I just always encourage people to give yourself a purpose, to live, have a reason to live, if you want to live long and healthy.

The other thing that I think is so interesting about what you're saying and your experience is that I think many times, for those of us dealing with grief, for all the people I've worked with over the decades, we project our pain onto our loved ones and we picture them in the afterlife suffering like us. And you would say, from your experience, they're not suffering like us.

Not at all. No. They are free. They're free and they want you to know. So if anybody, you know, if you've lost a loved one, please know that they are free. They are. They are happy, and they want you to be happy. The what would make them happy is to see us happy. So our loved ones want to see us happy. So if someone's even lost a partner or a spouse.

What you need to do is know that they are fine and you need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself through the grieving process and take as long as you need. But if you meet somebody else, another person who you could, who could potentially, who wants to be a partner with you, the last thing you should feel is guilt for finding somebody else. They do not want you to feel guilty. It's also highly possible that they have orchestrated for that person to come into your path because they want you to be happy again.

So know that.

They do help you from the other side. Your loved ones, they do guide you. They do love you unconditionally. And they are not suffering and they do not want you to suffer.

And I think that's so helpful because I think in our pain, we just, you know, what adds to our suffering is that thought that they could be suffering.

So you have a beautiful book next to you there. Tell us about your new book.

Sure, I will. And I just wanted to add one more thing that it's a question that comes up a lot where people ask me that when someone takes their own life, don't they suffer on the other side? Because religion teaches us that you suffer if you take your own life. And I want to tell people that, no, no, they do not. If you have a loved one that has taken their own life, and I want to be clear here. I am not encouraging anyone to take your own life. Please do not do that. But if you have a loved one who has taken their own life, they are not being punished for it. Because remember, when somebody chooses to take their life, it's because they were already suffering here. You have to be suffering before you choose to take your life. And why would you be punished there for. For already suffering here? And the people who tend to take their life tend to be people who are sensitive, who are what I call empaths because they find that they can't deal with the world here, and so the world is too much for them. And so they choose to leave. So they are embraced on the other side, and so they are not suffering. There is no punishment. I just wanted to assure people of that.

And you know, I always say, my work goes to death. I haven't had the experience that you. So I don't, I don't know past death or what that feels like. But, you know, I do say to people we know from so many people here who have attempted death by suicide, they tell us across the board, they weren't choosing death, they were trying to manage the pain.

Yes, yes.

I think that's so important to sort of know that they're trying to make this life work. And with their tools and their circumstances, they can't make it work. So they're managing the pain. So I think that's such an important thing to add to what you said.

Yes, that's exactly right.

And then, and the, the reason why I wrote my newest book, which is called Sensitive is the New Strong.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Is because after I had the near death experience and I had to then navigate this, this world, and I started to realize over the years that I, you know, with this clarity of what caused the cancer, what caused me to be sick in the first place, you know, I didn't want to go back to being that person who was. I was a people pleaser. I was a doormat. And I realized over the years that.

I am what is now called an empath. Empath is a term that's been coined in Recent Years by Dr. Judith Orloff and by Dr. Elaine Aaron and so when I started to learn about what it means to be an empath, I realized that, wow, this is why I got sick in the first place. I, I was a people pleaser because as an empath and as a sensitive person, I tend to feel what other people are feeling, I tend to feel other people's emotions and I tend to take on the problems of other people. And because I feel the emotions of other people. And this is one of the common traits of empaths, is that when you feel the emotions of other people, you need other people to feel good so that you can feel good because you're absorbing their emotions. And so empaths, without realizing it, they do this unconsciously. They go out of their way trying to make other people feel good. And so as you go out of your way trying to make other people feel good because you're feeling their emotions and you are this person who's always trying to make other people feel good. What happens is you attract people who just want someone to make them feel good all the time. And so empaths go around attracting all these people. And what we don't realize is that because it's in our nature to constantly make people feel good because we need to do that, because we're absorbing their energy. And then we're attracting all these people who are not feeling good, who come to us because, because they know we're going to make them feel good. While this is going on, we're absorbing their energy. And the reason we're trying to make them feel good is because we're absorbing their energy. But we keep attracting more and more people like that. So all we're doing is carrying everybody else's burdens and everybody else's energies, problem filled energies. And that's all we do. And it's all happening unconsciously. It's not that those people are trying to burden us, it's just that they know that, oh, that person's really good or got a really good shoulder to cry on. She or he always listens to my problems and helps me solve them. So I'm going to them.

And so I realized that I was like that. And there is, there are a whole faction of people like that. And so I realized that this was the reason I got stuck sick in the first place, that I had always felt everybody else's problems were bigger than my own. And I was always the doormat helping everybody except me. And I remember the day that I got diagnosed with the lymphoma. Of course I was really shocked and scared by the diagnosis. But there was a little voice inside my head that said, I, ah, you can take care of yourself now. You get to take care of yourself now. In other words, that diagnosis gave me a reason or an excuse to now focus on taking care of myself. If I had not had that diagnosis, I wouldn't even have started taking care of myself. And even as the disease progressed, I was still worried about other people, like people who would come to see me or help me. I was constantly worried, like, oh my gosh, am I asking too much from them? And it was only in death did I realize, oh, wow, I am supposed to take care of myself. I don't need a reason, I don't need an illness. And so then. And that's why I was inspired to write this book, because I realized that being an empath is not something that just goes away by having an NDE or by realizing you're an empath. It's something that I have to work with. And I realize that it's very, very easy to as an empath, because you feel the energies of everything around you. It's very, very easy to again, get caught up in all the energies of the world and other people. So that's one part of it. One part of why I was inspired to write this book.

A whole other part of it is because I feel that the way that we define strength in our language, in our culture.

In our paradigm, is we tend to think of strength as strong people, as the ones who are competitive, who are ruthless, somewhat ruthless.

Who would do anything to make it to the top. And we tend to think of people who use brute force. We tend to think of them as strong. We tend to think of the people who do not cry easily, who don't, who are not sensitive. We tend to think of those types of people as being strong. And we tend to look up to them. And that is how we define strength as a culture. And we look up to that and we define that. And then we wonder why the world has become the way it has. Why we wonder, why is the world so harsh? Why are our leaders the way they are? Why do we have poll poverty and world hunger?

What I propose and what I put forward is that if we change the metrics by which we define the word strength, and if we realize that actually compassion, empathy, sensitivity, if these could be considered strengths, if intuition could be embraced and honed as a gift, if these could be considered strengths and gifts, if these could be the traits that we look up to, if these are the traits we want to see in our leaders instead of ruthlessness and all of that, then we would have a very different world. And maybe this would actually lead us to a whole different way of evolving. Because the way I see it, the way that we have been up to now and the traits we embrace as strength could actually take us to the brink of our own extinction.

Wow, thank you for that. That's really amazing. And you know, I go back to the lens of people in here and one of the things that I also think is so profound about your message is I tell people, grief is a time to, in a healthy way, become self aware.

Self compassionate, self focused. It is also a time of regrouping, rebuilding, reinventing. And so many of us, like you said, have been other oriented. And grief sometimes forces us to become self oriented. And then you know, when people are rebuilding their lives and they're like, I don't want to do the holiday cards or do I have to do this? And I'm like, no, this is a chance for you to really take that self awareness and build on it and not become a people pleaser again. It is a moment to sort of regroup and reformulate and go, that life I had before, that I was living for everyone else. The pain has caused me to really think about what I need. Don't lose what you need by then taking on the needs of everyone else as you begin to heal.

Yes, yes, very well said. That is so true. And that's the thing.

People who are sensitive, who are innately sensitive or compassionate empaths, they do tend to take on the problems of everyone else and bury their own stuff, right?

And sometimes it's interesting back in the physical world, I hope we all get back there soon. You know, when I would do retreats, we would have people gathered for this, you know, a retreat. And there would always be someone who would run out of the room and say, I can't do it, I'm an empath, I can't. I'm taking on everyone's pain. And I would say to them so gently, I would go, what brought you here? And they would go, well, this person died in my life. And I would go, so it is your work to get in touch with your pain, not their pain. And that sometimes we can unconsciously use that wonderful empathic quality.

To not look at what's going on inside of us too. So a lot of the work I did tender Hearts, I did a whole video on empathy to help people learn. How do we sit in these groups with other people in pain without abandoning Our own by trying to attend to them.

Wow, I love that. That sounds really powerful because that is a challenge for empaths, and that's something I talk about a lot with empaths, is that empaths tend to abandon their own pain because they help other people's pain.

And they do that without even thinking. They do it innately because they are just when someone else is in pain, they can't deal with that person's pain. So they have to help them.

Before I was diagnosed with the lymphoma, with the cancer, two years prior to that, my best friend was diagnosed.

With different form, a very aggressive form of cancer. And what happened is we were both the same age, we were both dynamic and pretty young.

And when she got that diagnosis and she was told that there was only a 5% chance of survival and she had to be prepared that she was going to die, I couldn't believe it. I took that news on as if it was mine. The pain I felt, I believe, and the fear I felt, the fear of death was as if I had got the news for myself. And it impacted me so much that I threw myself into helping her. I actually would be with her because I did not want her to feel that level of pain. And so I made a commitment internally that I'm going to be with her on this journey. I'm going to do everything I can to help her through this. And so I would go with her to the hospital and to chemo and I would help out with the kids and I would just do. I was just immersed in her life. Things in my life started to fall apart because I wasn't paying attention to my life, my health, anything. My stress levels were through the roof. I wasn't heeding to the wake up calls that were coming at me. I was ignoring them because to, to me, nothing I was going through was as big as what she was going through. The pain I was feeling for her for what she was going through was greater than anything that was happening in my life. So I kept ignoring everything.

And this is something that I think empaths do unconsciously. And I just kept throwing myself into her life, wanting her to live and not. I watched her health deteriorate over that time, continue to deteriorate. I didn't realize my own health was deteriorating during that time, but I was ignoring it. I was ignoring my own pain because I was so focused on her until I got my own diagnosis.

And I think, and what a wake up call. And don't we all get those in different ways. But I think, you know, there's something about. There's an archetype there. And the archetype, whether we talk about grief or even talk about feelings or physical health, you know, I always say grief is what we feel on the inside. Mourning is what we do on the outside. I can't ever get into anyone else, my older son, my friends, anyone, and make them grieve. I can't make anyone else heal. And when we try to make other people heal physically or do the right thing, or do the right thing for grief, we feel this powerlessness and we forget we only have the power to work on ourselves. And working on the others drives us crazy and reminds us mistakenly that we're powerless. But it's really just reminding us we're powerless with another, but not with ourselves.

Yes.

Yes, we are already. I would love to keep you on for just a couple more minutes, but first of all, we're going to be leaving Facebook in just a moment. But the new book is Sensitive as the New Strong. Your website is anitamorjani.com, right?

Yes.

Tell me what else you might be doing now that other people might want to check out besides getting the book.

So I do have, of course, a website. I have a YouTube page that I would love for them to check out my videos, tons of videos for free on empath and all kinds of stuff. And what I do is I also have what I call a sanctuary, which is like a membership sanctuary. But currently we've paused on taking new members. But basically what I'm doing overall is that I want empaths to know that.

Their empathy is not a curse. It is a gift that you are someone. Empaths and sensitive people are exceptionally intuitive. You are connected to the other realm. You are what I call six sensory beings. And because we have suppressed those gifts, we have. We don't understand them, we don't realize them, we don't know how to use them. This is why we get stuck here in just helping people on the physical level and taking on their problems. If we realize that we are intuitive and we are six sensory beings, we could open up to those gifts and it would actually change our lives and the way we operate and the way we help other people. Helping other people is in the nature of empaths. But there is a way to do it that can actually empower you instead of disempowering or draining you. And even if you don't buy the book, I have a ton of videos on YouTube where I speak about this. So that's basically what I'm doing. My website, as you said, is anitamorjani.com.

And then the Sanctuary, which is the membership platform, is anitamorjanisanctuary.com and you can read about it on the homepage. But we are going to open the doors again in about three or four weeks again for new members.

Great. Can you stay on a couple more minutes in our Tender Hearts group? Great. All right. We are going to say goodbye to our Facebook people. Thank you so much. Tender Hearts folks, stay on so you'll be able to ask Anita a question or two face to face. To all the Facebook folks, thank you so much. Sending you much love and I will see you soon.