Grief specialist David Kessler discusses how to support Parkland survivors, who need action and meaning, not silence. He offers concrete ways to help traumatized children: affirm they survived, anticipate triggers, use grounding techniques. He calls for resources, transparency about FBI failings, and hope.
So the students at Stoneman Douglas, like the students at Newtown, Columbine, Sandy Hook and far too many schools in our country, have seen their friends and teachers shot, sometimes even die right in front of them. How do these children get through this? Well, we brought in a grief and loss specialist, David Kessler, because, let's be honest, we also need you. Now. All of us are feeling the pain of this, but nobody more acutely than those kids that witnessed this. And one of the things I wanted to, there's this big debate right now, mental health, guns. We're hearing politicians say, and especially gun rights politicians saying this is not the time to talk about gun laws. We should just stay silent on the matter. What do you say to that?
I say to that debate, after decades of working with people in grief, as well as what's rooted in the science of grief, is, is people who have lost loved ones in tragedies do not want silence. They want to find meaning and action. If you've got to give them silence, they'll take a minute, but then they want to see action. They do not want silence. That's not the reality.
You know, it's agonizing to see these images. Parents in shock, thinking I didn't say I loved them this morning when they left the house. Now it's too late. 14 year olds losing their lives, witnessing carnage that no child, no human should ever see. How do you begin to counsel people who have been through a trauma this.
Awful? Well, hope is so important. And the one thing that I often tell children up front, I actually came out of a school shooting. Not a school shooting, but a shooting, a sniper. So I know this world as a child and it can be very hopeless. So the first thing I tell them is, you will survive, you will continue. And I teach them about they're going to have triggers, when they have triggers. And I think it's good they're tearing down that part of the school because it would have too many triggers. You will have triggers, begin to anticipate them, begin to learn from them. The second thing after they have a trigger is to do this. When a door slams in the cafeteria are, oh, my gosh, that scares me. That is not a shooter. That is a door slamming. I am safe now.
Yeah.
And to know those triggers are going to come.
Can I just tell you? More and more people around this country are in this terrible class of this. There's so many schools. You and I met first after Sandy Hook. We talked about this years ago. And now here we are, the eighth, by our accounts, here at CNN of this school year. More and more of our children are being traumatized. I almost feel like we're going to have a generation of people with pts.
And that's why we have to give them resources and they have to see us taking action. The idea that the FBI failed in this case, it is so good they admit it. They need to keep the parents informed first. They need to hear that and we need to tell the kids the truth. We did fail in this case, but still say something in the future and.
The hope and keep the hope alive. David Kessler, a delight.
Thank you. They may have been victimized, but they are not victims.
They are not. They are survivors to be sure. Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
And it's his birthday today and he chose to be here.
I wanted to make some meaning out of it. Thank you.
