Feeling the Presence of Lost Loved Ones

In the death. Now, can you feel your deceased ones, the love that they have for you, their presence after they die? Research shows that half of the bereaved sense the presence of lost loved ones either in the moment of death or sometime later. Can it be a feeling with your fingers? Is it an emotion washing over you? We want to investigate that. And I've got two audience members who've had experiences. Anaya says that you felt the presence of your grandmother after she passed.

Yes. Correct. I've had dreams of her, and she's come to me in my dreams several times. But recently, it's like she's wanting me to do better. She was a businesswoman, and I felt her recently just, like, almost like, telling me to keep going forward. As I was in the busy streets of New York City, handling business, running from one meeting to another, I literally, like, felt her, like, telling me to keep going.

When you say, feel like she's grabbing you and pulling you, or just a sense that she's around.

Well, it's so funny, because when I was three, I was her translator, so I'm from Haiti. My grandmother, Anne Marie Cazo, never spoke English, so she took me into the streets of New York City to literally translate for her at three. So it was almost like at this age, she's coming back and telling me, like, remember when I was little? You know? And then it was like she was, like, pushing me to keep going forward. Cause sometimes I get down and out, being a business person. And then I smelled her. So it's a good smell. It's a good smell.

Yeah.

You go both ways.

She had a distinct. Yeah, she had a distinct odor and a scent and a fragrance that she used to wear. And it's like after I dreamed of her, I smelt her, and it was, like, amazing. It was a comforting feeling. And I felt so good, you know, knowing that she was pushing me to keep going forward. But also, she's still here with me.

Thank you. Nya and Linda, you've sensed your mom who you lost.

Yes, I just lost my mom a year ago. So I'm still. I'm still in the grieving process. I honestly. I'm a single mother of three, and life can be very stressful and hectic, and I found myself to be just overwhelmed. And a lot of times, more often than not, I'm just losing it. I'm really losing it. And there was one particular morning I had to get the kids out the door. I had to get to work. I had to get everyone on time a day, much like today, it was raining. And the next thing you know, I head down my hallway, long hallway, and as I'm walking by, I just get a scent of my mother's perfume. It was her. It wasn't just her perfume. But I kind of wanted to get a sense of, you know, reality. Thinking that maybe I was hallucinating. I went to the closet. I smelled some clothing just to see, just to make sure that it wasn't something that was lingering. But it wasn't. It was a fresh scent. And the thing about this perfume, I've looked for it everywhere. Dr. Oz. They don't make it anymore. And that was one of the things that I really wanted to keep, to comfort me. And I couldn't find this perfume anywhere. And the next thing you know, I smell this scent, and I just started crying tears of joy because I knew that she was with me. And she was basically saying, it's okay. Calm down, calm down. It's something that only a mother can do when you're in that state of frenzy. And she was just like, calm down, calm down.

That's beautiful, Linda. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

So grief counselor David Kessler is back with us. The idea that folks, as they're grieving, might sense their loved ones, not foreign. We hear it frequently. But do you think it's really their loved ones, the fragrances, for example, that are. You can't miss if you're a daughter. You know your mom's fragrance, or is it just deep grief that's influencing these women?

We think it's more than grief. We often hear these stories of our five senses. The smell, the taste, the hearing, seeing them in a crowd. But then you also hear these stories of feeling their presence. And I believe when our loved ones are gone, we don't quit loving them, and they don't quit loving us.

So how do you use these senses that there are loved ones around you to move past the pain, the grief that you're suffering?

Well, our goal is to begin to remember our loved ones with more love than pain. And these memories and experiences become a cushion. And we weren't meant to be islands of grief. Grief must be witnessed, and to know we're not alone means everything.

Does it help? A little bit?

Absolutely. Thank you.

It does, because I really never had any experiences with this with anyone. It was my first true loss. I was a skeptical person about this as well. But when I felt that and some other quirky things that happen, I really understood. She's with me, and I feel so good now.

You know, they still exist. Right? Exactly.

And I still feel her, too. And it's so funny that you're saying it's true, because I sometimes thought that it was kind of me making it up. But, like, when I was in the streets feeling her presence, it was so real. And I was just like, I can go on. I can go on and just keep working and doing what I do and be great.

I like the idea that we're not supposed to be grieving over people we love. We should be loving the people we love.

And that takes time. Grieving, you know, living well is going through the grief, but then finding the love in those memories again in time.