David Kessler, a grief specialist, pushes back against the cultural expectation that people should grieve for only one or two weeks. Grief lasts months or years, he says, and pressure to move on causes harm. Your timeline is the only one that matters.
I'm David Kessler, a grief and loss specialist and a bereaved person. Here's what I know. Our culture gives you about a week to grieve, maybe two if you're lucky. And then everyone around you goes back to their life, and they expect you to go back to yours like nothing happened. But grief doesn't work like that. Grief doesn't keep a schedule. It doesn't care about their timeline or yours. Three months later, you're still not okay. Six months later, people stop asking. A year later, you're supposed to be fine. But grief has a long shadow, and there's nothing wrong with you. The pressure to be over it is one of the cruelest things we do to people who are hurting. We make others feel broken or wrong for just taking as long as they need. Grief doesn't have an expiration date, and no one gets to set one for you. Not your family, not your friends, not society. The only timeline that matters is yours. If you're still feeling it today, that doesn't mean you're stuck. It means you love someone. And that's not something you can switch off. Be patient with yourself. You're not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.
