A brief transcript excerpt of a conversation with David Kessler advising bereaved families on navigating holidays after a spouse's death. Kessler emphasizes maintaining holiday routines for children, incorporating remembrance rituals (e.g., lighting a candle, saying a prayer), and balancing acknowledgement of loss with continuity of traditions (presents, meals).
After the death. How do I get myself and my family through the holidays?
After a death, you may find it very hard to go through the holidays, especially in terms of the family. For your family, they need to know that holidays are still very important. If your kids are old enough. Sometimes people do cancel the holidays. We don't suggest that with younger kids. With younger kids, they really need the stability of the holidays. So reassure them the holidays are going to happen as usual. Incorporate the loss into the holidays. You might light a special candle for the person who's died. You might say a prayer for your loved one. You want the kids to know that the holidays aren't happening and everyone's happy as if nothing happened. But you also want them to know that there's still love, there's still presents at Christmas, there's still turkey at Thanksgiving. That life does continue.
