Grief specialist David Kessler explains why losing a parent keeps happening, not just once but every year at milestones like weddings or when you need advice. The pain resurfaces when you want to call your mother after being fired, or when grandchildren are born. The love endures even as grief returns.
I'm David Kessler. I have been a grief and loss specialist since my own mother died. Why a parent's loss never goes away. The hardest thing after a parent dies isn't what happens right away. I mean, we all know our parents are going to die someday. And we understand when it happens, it's brutal. And of course it is because they're our anchors. But here's what you don't expect. It's the losses that keep coming. The year mark after they die. But those year marks come up every year. And there's so many moments they're missing. The weddings they were supposed to be at. The grandchild's soccer match. I even remember a friend getting fired from work and the first thing he did was call his mother. I remember thinking, If I ever get fired, I don't have a mother to call anymore. They were the people who were there to give us advice. They were the people who were there when we were sick. It can sound like the pain is never-ending, but it's also the love enduring. Their love continues on, and you can still miss it and long for it because that care that they would've given you can still live in you now, and you can do it for yourself, in their honor. If you, or a friend, has had the loss of a parent, how does it still affect you? How does it still affect them?
