David Kessler explains practical grievers, people who process loss through action rather than emotional display. They feel sadness but move forward quickly, not because they're cold or in denial, but because that's how they cope. Kessler warns against judging this valid grieving style.
There's a type of griever most people have never heard of, and you might know one. I call them practical grievers. Not everyone grieves with tears. Some people grieve with tasks. Practical grievers aren't cold. They are wired to move forward. Practical grievers are the ones who are sad during the funeral, and then they just move on. We think people that are this way are going to be like this till the big loss hits, and then they'll change. But they stay this way. Many of us think, "Oh, they're suppressing their feelings, they're repressing them, they're delaying them, or they're avoiding their feelings." Friends and family get concerned for practical reavers. Here's the truth: we think they don't have enough feelings; they think we have way too many of them. And the reality is, it's just a different grieving style. What doesn't help is judging how someone grieves. How have you responded to practical grievers in your life?
