David Kessler defines the anger stage of grief as typically following denial and shock, describes its intensity and role in covering deeper pain and fear, and offers practical guidance: externalize anger safely (use objects, not people) and recognize that being angry with God is a normal response.
What is the anger stage of grief? The anger stage of grief is the stage we feel usually after we're beginning to move out of the denial and the shock phase. We're hit with enormous amounts of anger. Why did my loved one die? Why did they have to be taken away? It's not unusual to just be surprised at the amount of anger you may feel and and just know anger is our strongest emotion. It covers up all our pain, all our fears, all our sadness underneath. We often want to strike out. We always talk about if you need to get the anger out, get it out using things, not people. Don't get angry at people. If you can but yell in the car or bang on your pillow, externalize that anger and just know it's an appropriate response. There's people who are sometimes going to go calm down and it's many times because the anger makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes we may even find the anger is with God. And it's okay to be angry with God. God is big enough to handle your anger and an all loving God knows that anger is appropriate when someone you love has died.
