Stephen Shapiro argues that acting like you know everything blocks better ideas and business results. He describes a conference where some speakers dismissed feedback while he treated every comment as new information. Making others the hero, not yourself, attracts the people and ideas you actually need.
Chapters
Today I want to talk about the power of an importance of being open to new ideas and feedback. So I just spent a weekend at a conference. It was a bunch of people learning about the speaking profession. And I've been speaking for 20 years, and I've had my own business for a dozen years. And so I've heard a lot of things over time. We had these breakout sessions where we were going to get advice from the instructor and from others in the group about our business and how we can improve our business. And it was fascinating to listen and observe the way some of the people in the group solicited advice and how they accepted that advice. For example, there was one person in the group, the response to anything that was said was, well, we thought about that before, or we've tried that before and it didn't work. Or, hey, we're doing that right now. Or in some cases it'd be like, I knew you'd say that. And I found it really interesting because I wondered if in the time that this individual was receiving feedback, whether or not she got any value at all. Because basically every response to every idea was, we've done it, we've thought about it, we've tried. It didn't work, we're doing it. Knew you'd say that. This is a person who's pretty new to the profession. And then when it was my turn and I asked the question I had of the group and of the instructor and I got feedback. And for me, I tried to sit there and listen to everything as though it was the very first time I heard any of that advice before. Even if I've tried it before and it didn't work, even if I've thought about it before and decided not to do it, even if I've never tried, it doesn't matter whatever was said, I was acting as though and thinking as though it was the first time I ever heard it. And I have to say, for me, it was a magical experience. Instead of being right all the time, instead of having to be the expert, knowing all the answers, which is what I have to do in my profession, I acted as though I was the novice. I was the person who's never had a day of work before in my life, who've never thought of these things before, and giving up that need to have the answers, giving up the need to look good in the eyes of others as the person who knows this and just respond, wow, that's a great idea. I have not thought about that before. Let me explore that. Really made it a Very powerful experience for me. And there were others in the group who had all different types of experiences. There was one person who took their time and basically talked the entire time. When the timer went off, everybody just looked and said, that was interesting. There was no opportunity, no opening for feedback, no opening or opportunity for input. So think about yourself. When you are engaging customers, engaging colleagues, engaging friends, engaging experts, how do you naturally respond? Are you the person who has the answers? Are you protecting what you look like by trying to always act as though you knew the answer already? Or are you willing to be vulnerable? Are you able to put yourself out there and say, I don't know the answer. I really want the answer. And if you've heard something before, really listen to it as though it was the first time you're hearing it. Are you a great listener or are you a great talker? Do you try to impress everybody with what you know, or do you sort of state your challenge, which is your vulnerability, and just sit back and say, please help me. I'm absolutely convinced that business owners, especially successful business owners, what happens is we are so wrapped up in what we know. We are so tied into our identity of being the expert, the passion person who solved the problem before, that we are allowing ourselves to actually open ourselves up to the input of others. If you were to get a bad review on Yelp, for example, is your natural inclination to say, ah, man, that person's an idiot, or, oh, if we try to fix every single problem like that, we'd be out of business. Or do you say, hey, that's really interesting. Thank you for the feedback. Doesn't mean you have to do anything with it. You can't solve every single problem, and that's the reality of business. But if you are appreciative of all input, good, bad, and ugly, that has to put you in a better position. It has to open you up to new insights. It has to allow you to see things that you would not see if you were closed and thought that it was your way or the highway. So think about your business. Think about the way you run. Think about your interactions with people. Are you open? Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Are you gracious when people provide input to you, or is your response, I've done that. I know that I'm the expert. And when you're engaging people, do you have to be the one who talks, or can you be the one who listens? Can you be the one who throws out one of your concerns and just wait for people to make a contribution and when you're in a social group, are you always making yourself look good or are you making others look good? Although it's a slightly different conversation, I think it's all related. If we can get into the habit of making others be the heroes, our clients be the heroes, our customers be the heroes. Make them feel great. The people who give us advice, people who give us feedback, people who give us criticism. If we make them feel great, first of all, it opens us up to a whole new set of ideas, and it makes you much more attractive to be around, which means you will attract more people into your life. This is Steve Shapiro, and I hope we have an opportunity to work together someday.
