When you keep getting triggered by the same people, blaming them keeps the trigger outside you. The real source is inside. Your brain resists the hard work of change, and unexpressed expectations become pre-meditated resentments that fuel the cycle.
Learn how to have gratitude for the people that you believe hurt you. And it's like, I don't want to give them any credit for anything. You have to. I can blame my father for being an abusive alcoholic man. I would also be the one walking around with that resentment and that anger forever. People always say that, like, you triggered me. No, you have a trigger inside of you. It's not their responsibility to not hit it. I'm sitting there after a microphone.
Why does this always happen to me? I'm a good guy, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm the common denominator in every single bad thing I ever experience. Man, what an uncomfortable thing. Why is blame, though, so much easier than self-examination? Self-preservation says I'm not wrong. Self-preservation says I'm right. And your emotion plays into all of this. Your brain does not prioritize happiness, joy, anything like that. Your brain takes up 5% of your body's mass, but it consumes over 25% of the calories you eat in a day. It does not want to have to think. That's why you don't want to change. Unexpressed expectations are premeditated resentments.
