Breaking the Scarcity Mindset: Alex’s Transformative Journey in Philanthropy and Self-Growth

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life nail your goals. I'll see you there.

The world is literally and figuratively on fire. We got some issues. We tend to shut down or we arm up. It just doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to be looking at a grim future for humanity. There is more possibility for humanity collectively and individually. Be the change you want to see. My version of a midlife crisis wasn't dramatic. It really made me feel bad about myself, not wanting people to think I'm in it for myself. There's enough when you're in that mode, you're condemned to a life of dissatisfaction. We occupy this place of scarcity. Many times we have not taken stock of our own abundance. We know that gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to displace negative feelings. Change is not hard. The meaning of life is actually pretty simple.

Welcome to Lead On Purpose. I'm James Laughlin, former seven time world champion musician and now executive coach to global leaders and high performers. In every episode, I bring you an inspiring leader or expert to help you lead your life and business on purpose. Thanks for taking the time to connect today and investing in yourself. Enjoy the show. Today's special guest is Alex Johnston. He is the founder of Building Impact Partners, which is a philanthropic advising agency that's helped its clients give away over $1 billion. That's right, US$1 billion. He's also author of best selling book Money With Meaning. So please sit back and enjoy today's show. Alex, a huge welcome to the Lead On Purpose podcast.

James, I so appreciate the chance to be here with you. Thank you for having me on.

Absolute pleasure. You know what, we've known each other personally and we've been in a group together for quite some years now and it's just been amazing watching what you've been doing there over in the Eastern Seaboard in New York. It's just incredible. And I want to just start by asking you about how you see things from a global perspective. Perspective right now. What's going on in the world? Are we in A great place from a global, political, social perspective, or do you see that actually, we've got some major challenges right now?

Yeah, I really appreciate that question, and I think it's certainly almost anyone would look at that question and answer like, we got some issues. And for me, in this field of philanthropy advising that I've been in for a dozen years, I think there is an opportunity not just about philanthropy, but about how we all show up in this moment that is so critical because the world is literally and figuratively on fire. We have a level of challenge now that's unprecedented. And we also have a level of resource, not just money, but all kinds of capital that has accumulated for many of us in an abundance. And so many of these resources, we have the intention of putting them in flow, of helping resources get where they need to be, but it's not happening yet at the scale that it needs to. And there is. That's why, you know, I am both, you know, really concerned about the challenge, and any of us who has children or people that are younger than us that we care about, like, we have to be worried about where we're at right now. But what gives me hope is the human potential to rise and to relate and to reallocate these resources in ways that really allow us to move forward as a species and as a planet. And so that's my passion and my life's worth.

Yeah, look, I'm so excited to jump into it and before we look at potential solutions and how ourselves individually can make a difference, no matter what age and stage of life we're at, if we don't actually take action, what will life look like for your three kids? Or for my little Finn? What might life look like in 5, 10, 20, 30 years down the track if we just sit back?

I fear that it's this deep irony that as humanity, we've kind of progressed to this point we've never been at before. If you look in so many ways, there are many positive indicators, from technological advancement to health and even life expectancy. In many ways, we've seen tremendously positive trends, but we are playing with fire. You know, the level of complexity that we have created in this world, where so many things are interconnected the whole way that we live our lives, you know, and the way sort of evolutionary psychology has prepared us to engage the world is mismatched with the world that we've created. And. And so it's literally a requirement, I think, that we individually and collectively develop and sort of operate at a higher level. And so my Concern is that if we don't do that, we will start to see.

Just the kind of thing we're already starting to see where overwhelming kind of forces sweep across our lives. Whether it's literally the weather or conflict, just we start to get overwhelmed. And, and when we get overwhelmed in that old kind of way of being, we tend to shut down or we, we arm up. You know, we try to defend ourselves. And those instincts are understandable, but ironically, they don't actually serve us. And so anytime, you know, we have enough abundance in our lives to work on advancing ourselves and our own leadership, we got to do it. Because it's like you got to do the reps so that when that wave comes in, your life impacts you deeply, you're ready, and you're able to rise above it.

I love that. And what I really appreciate there is that you're talking about leading self and it's going okay. We've got to learn to lead ourselves before we try and make the difference and to see the change in the world around you, you've got to be the change yourself. And that's leveling up our psychology, leveling up our awareness, distributing our abundance, helping others and empowering others. So what got you started on this journey? To me, you're on a mission. This is an Everest that you're climbing in your life. Why did you start down this track?

I really appreciate that question, and it's one that I reflect on a lot because now as a coach and an advisor and I, I run cohort programs and really help others develop, I do end up telling my own story a fair amount. And it really starts about seven years ago for me. Midlife. I'm 51 years old now, but I guess my version of a midlife crisis wasn't dramatic. And it wasn't even a crisis. It was just a growing awareness that I was out of alignment, that I was not showing up as fully as I could in my family, in my work. And it's not that other people would have looked from the outside of my life and said, there's something wrong there. It's just that I knew there was more, that I could show up in a more powerfully positive and present way. And so I started delving, I started talking to other people. I quickly came across eo, the Entrepreneurs Organization. I joined eo. I had a buddy of mine who recommended that. And I remember sitting in one of the first events. I joined the Connecticut chapter in the east coast of the US and the very first event, I went to the speaker Challenged the audience. How many of you have a mission statement for your life? And he's in a room full of entrepreneurs and only one person raised their hand and it wasn't me. And then he talked about this is a very successful leader. He talked about just some of the things that he's done to advance himself over the course of his life. Journaling in a positive way every morning, reading something positive every day, and a gratitude practice. And so I just took on that challenge. I said, tomorrow morning I'm starting my journal. And literally every day since that day In February of 2017, I just started this path of bit by bit, adding things into my life that were positive and that helped me grow. And I'm in a. It's like the power of compound interest that we know from atomic habits and James Clear's work. If you get 1% better at something every day, even just in the space of a year, you have a 37 fold increase. And so the fact that I've been at this for seven years.

I'm in a really different place and it's far from perfect. And I just talk to anyone in my life, there's still plenty I can get better at. But I am now able to serve and show up in a way that is so different than the level I was at back then. And I want this for everybody. And I recognize the privilege in having the space in my life and having enough abundance to even be able to do this.

And I really believe that. I really hope for each person on the planet we can certainly, as people come out of extreme poverty every day, we're still seeing that happening, that there is more possibility for humanity, collectively and individually, to create the space to grow. And whatever your cultural tradition, your religious background, if you have one philosophy, what I've found is there's so much convergence. It's not about like one path. I mean, there's deep wisdom about human flourishing that we've known at some level as human beings for thousands of years. And then what's being discovered at the cutting edge of different kinds of psychology and science, to me, it really lines up.

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That's really, really insightful around that moment, that inflection moment at EO for you, where you're going, wow, I actually don't know what my Everest is. I don't have a mission or a vision statement. And that idea of the law of marginal gains. Sir Dave Brailsford with the British cycling team talking about those 1 percenters. Look, I think that's one of the biggest differentiators in people who see the longevity, the long game play out in their lives. So can we just dive in for a little second? Because I know there's a listener right now that's going, hey, this journaling thing, I'm hearing about it, but where do I start? What do I put in the thing? How do I keep it going? So talk, if you don't mind. What do you put into your journal? Where did you start the journaling process? What does it look like on a daily basis?

Yeah. Such a great question and something we talk about all the time in our accelerator programs because how you get started is often the biggest hurdle. And we have this story in our minds that, well, I'm just not the kind of person who fill in the blank like, I had a whole story that I'm not the kind of person who folds my socks. I'm not someone who's going to Marie Kondo my life, right? That's just not me. I'm creative. I thrive without structure, you know, and so we build up a whole narrative about who we are and, like, what's us and what's not us. And so what I like to do is go back to really, actually some of James Clear's wisdom about the grain size of the change you want to make in your life. And a practice that I really have come to embrace is, is I commit one week at a time to something I want to try, and I pick the size of the thing at the smallest possible increment that I could commit to do, even on my worst day, over the course of a Week. So I might say I am decided, committed, and resolved to begin a gratitude practice. And I'm going to spend 30 seconds each morning for the next week just reflecting on one specific thing that I'm grateful for. And can I do that on my worst day when I wake up and like, yeah. And you know what if I skip it, if I forget, I'm not going to get all hung up on it. I'm just going to start up again the next day. And what I found is that going one week at a time, there's a lot that, like, I would never sign up to say a year, like. And it's perfect because when we, you know, New Year's resolutions, we know from the data only 6% of people who commit to something as a New Year's resolution are still doing it a year later.

That's.

I mean, that's not the model for change, right? It's one week at a time. So that's the first thing. And then in terms of what you journal about, I love the idea of a positive.

Literally, to just start with writing down one or two or three things you're grateful for. And you could do that in 45 seconds. And you could do it in the morning, you could do it in the evening, whenever works for you. Maybe find something that you're already doing called like a trigger. You know, brushing your teeth, you know, when you let go of the doorknob, putting your kid to bed, you take that minute and you write down three things you're grateful for. Or don't even write them down, just reflect on them. We know that gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to displace negative feelings, negative emotion. And if there's like a single thing that I would recommend. And what was really the gateway for me was starting a gratitude practice. So if you've been hearing about gratitude journaling and you're like that.

Try it, try it just in the smallest little dose you can imagine and see where it takes you.

Hey, James here. I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about something. Look, I get asked to deliver keynotes and workshops for teams and companies all over the world, from London to Antarctica, from America to Australasia, from armies to small businesses to large corporates to sports teams. But I go in and deliver keynotes around the mindset of high performers, around the habits of high performers, about how we navigate change. If you would like me to come and speak to your team or speak at your conference or deliver a bespoke workshop, please get in touch with my team, carolinejlochlund.com will be able to help. I'll also make sure that we put that in the show notes.

That's beautiful. Great advice. And it's so interesting. You talk about the gratitude journal. I was speaking on stage about three or four months ago and I was talking about tools and one of them was journaling on things you're grateful about. And one of the individuals in the audience said, yeah, yeah, but gratitude journaling is for 13 year old girls. And so I paused, I smiled and I asked them, have you ever heard of the British sas, the equivalent essentially of the American Navy service? Of course. I said, okay, they get a gratitude journal upon graduation and every day they have to actually write down three things they're grateful for during their whole years of service. Why? Because it's proven at a neuroscience level to actually increase your resilience. So when the proverbial hits the fan in life or at war, you can actually deal with it and cope and move forward. So I love the fact that he had this perception, this belief that it was only for 13 year old girls, when in actual fact I think if the 13 year old girls are using it, they know something that many grown men don't and that is that it's deeply powerful and helpful as a tool. So thank you for sharing it.

Yeah, well, I have a 13 year old boy and certainly any 13 year old like navigating that point in their life.

You know, if it's beneficial to them, chances are it's beneficial to you too.

100%. And let's talk about if we bring it up a level. So you started at this daily 1%, growing your awareness through journaling, through reading. And I know you're one of the most well read people I've ever met. So what has been the product of years of that? What has changed in your awareness about yourself and the world and what has changed in your life?

Well, I think sometimes, and I can't remember where I first heard this, but what we're playing for in life is raising our own state of mind from moment to moment. Right. I'm a big believer in the premise of cognitive behavioral psychology, that what we have moment to moment is the constellation of our thoughts, our feelings and our actions. And those three things determine sort of our experience of life, what you could say our way of being. And what I'm going for in my own journey is to elevate my way of being so that I have the 2/10 of a second when something happens that I can choose My response, rather than an instinctive reaction. And what I have noticed in my journey is that not every time, but much more than I used to, I'm able to be thoughtful in that split second. And I have a meditation practice. There's lots of other things that I do that incrementally I sort of built up to. And by the way, there's things that I don't do anymore that have fallen away. Like I have more time in my life because I'm not needing to palliate myself at the end of a hard day with, with like watching videos for hours on end or, or things that, that used to be more of a draw for me. It's not that, like if someone seven years ago had said, you're going to give up X, Y and Z, you're going to start doing all this stuff, you're going to spend an hour a day and all, I would have said, forget about it. That's not me. This sounds like nonsense, but just gradually over time, it's just been this shift. And what I've experienced is that change is not hard per se. Right. There is some discipline in deciding to stick with something, but this is not about willpowering your way through. That is, in my experience, not a formula for success. It's about experimenting, trying, and finding things that bring a positive return. And like this Oura ring, I find it tremendously beneficial because of the data it gives me about. You got one too. Like my sleep. I'm sleeping two and a half hours more per night than I was when I got this thing four years ago. And it's not that I'm spending more time in bed, it's that I have figured out how to actually get a good night's sleep when I'm in bed. And I mean to think about, like, how exhausted I was previously in life. So there are just so many benefits of like starting a journey like this and just not to overwhelm yourself either. Like one little piece at a time.

Such great advice. And I want to take that to the next level. So so many people talk about, you know what, I've got a book in my life, I've got to write the book, I'm going to start the book, I'm going to publish the book. And I've met hundreds of people in my lifetime that have said, I've got a book to write. And fast forward 7, 10, 15 years, they're still talking about starting the book. Now you're different, you're a 1 percenter because you wrote the book and it became a best seller. So I'm just going to hold it up now for a second. Money with meaning. This is your masterpiece. This is an incredible book. For those that are watching or listening, please go to Amazon right now. Get yourself a copy. It's phenomenal. And I want to just before we talk about the content, because the content is truly.

A message that needs to be heard by everyone. But before we get to the content, let's talk about the journey to getting it authored, to getting the structure of the book, getting it out of your head and onto the page. Where did you start and how did you keep going?

I so appreciate this question, James, and I am a deep believer that so many of us have a story to tell. And often if you start writing, you won't stop like you got another book in you, too. But I had this challenge for years. I had an intention to write a book. And as someone, you know, working with partners in a philanthropy advising practice, like, there's a lot for us to share with the world. But what I found was that I had a writing block on Thursday mornings. Three hours I set aside every week for years, and guess what I did every Thursday morning? Anything except writing. I reorganized my sock drawer. I did whatever except write. And.

It really made me feel bad about myself because I had this clear intention, and I knew that I had a lot to share and that if I shared it, I could really help other people. And still I couldn't get myself to do it. And I had a colleague who told me about a book called Immunity to Change by John Keegan. Not John Keegan. Keegan and Leahy. So Lisa Leahy. And.

I forget the first name, but Keegan is the last name of the other author. And these are Harvard psychologists who studied our psychological immune system. And I got this book, and I was like, oh, I get it now. That basically, I had all these hidden competing commitments that were fears about what would happen if I actually did start writing a book, if I started a blog, if I started sharing with the world my ideas. Would I lose clients? Would people think I'm too big for my britches? I aspire to be a servant leader. Who's this guy telling everyone else what to do? I had all this stuff that I was afraid that bad things would happen if I actually succeeded in writing a book. So guess what? Circuit breaker shuts down the energy in that part of my life. Every time I get too close to the keyboard, boom. I can't do it. And so in my coaching practice now, you know, this is one of the things that we work on a lot with people is oftentimes people have something they really want to do and somehow they can't figure out why they're, like, not doing it. And for me, this was just a breakthrough. Like, I literally made an immunity map following their system. It was like this big. It was like 11 by 17. And it was a breakthrough for me. And it's really funny too, because there are things in it, like you figure out what your fears are and then you test them playfully. Like, I had a client where, you know, I was just. I felt like I couldn't walk into that client without wearing a suit. And until I, you know, I tried one day I was like, well, what will happen if I wear a suit, but I wear some sneakers instead of dress shoes? And the day that I did that was the day that I noticed that, like, so many people in that, in that place were like sneaker heads, you know, Like, I just, I literally had had such tunnel vision. I had never even really looked around me to see that, you know what, it's safe here not to wear a suit, not to wear dress shoes. And I showed up in such a better way once. I kind of broke through that. And so that process was huge for me. And then I had to learn how to write because I wrote a doctoral dissertation that was like a 10 year excruciating experience and I never wanted to repeat that. So I had to actually figure out how to enjoy writing. And I studied the Scribe Method, a book by Tucker Max, Fantastic book about how to write a book. And then I just got a system that I love where it took me a few years because I would write just like initially, just 25 minutes a day, five days a week. But as I really got into it, that built up to probably spending an hour and a half many days writing in the morning. And then I went through three drafts and all of the rest, but I'm so glad I did it. And I'm working on the next book now.

That's amazing. It's like you've opened the can and now you're just going to continue to share your thoughts and your thought leadership with the world. I want to know for a second, though, Alex, what was the dominant fear? Was there a dominant one that came up for you in that process, going through that immunity process that was holding you back from starting the book?

Yeah, I think, you know, for me it has been. And it's still something that I remind myself about. It's my fear of being misunderstood by others that in the process of sharing what I have to share that other people will feel like I am aggrandizing myself. And so I still struggle in marketing my book. And kind of like, there are certain things I'm really comfortable with. Like, I love giving stuff away for free. You know, like, I love just adding value to the world, but the minute, you know, I need to or. Or like I need to kind of say to people, hey, there's real value here. And. And like, we're actually one of the programs we run, Advisors Accelerator, which is a training program for philanthropy advisors. I was blessed to be able to get sponsorship to offer that program. It's like a $20,000 experience for free to 24 people last year because we had sponsorship and we have less sponsorship this year. And so I'm getting ready to get out in the world with an offer. And that's still something that, like, you know, we had such a great experience with people like, creating so much value. But it's still for me to this day, something I navigate around just not wanting people to think I'm in it for myself, you know, which when I, when I step back, I'm like, oh, that's crazy talk, you know, like, but. But it's still there in the background. Sometimes these things are really deep seated.

100%. It's the idea of like, you're there to serve, you're a servant leader. But also there's a great deal of humility that you want to continue to embrace. But I imagine this book, which I'm holding up in my hands right now, the more hands that gets into, or the audible, if there's an audible version, the more ears that gets into, then I imagine the bigger difference that will make in the world. So in 2024, will you agree to pushing through and dancing with that fear and marketing it with pride and joy and excitement?

Oh, James, the coach in you. I love it. Thank you. I mean, I appreciate that. And yes, I am committed to that because the reason that I wrote the book is what we were talking about. We're living in a world that is on fire with these challenges. And just in America. The wealthiest 100,000Americans have $11.2 trillion in financial cap, and that's a pretty big number. It's half the US GDP, just about. But only 85 billion a year is actually getting out the door in philanthropy from that group of people.

So what kind of percentage is that roughly?

It's 3/4 of 1%.

Oh, my God.

We live in a world where you put your Money in a bank account and it gets 5%. Right. So I don't share this in any way to be judgmental because I think that all of us have an opportunity to give more and not just financially. But I am committed to getting this book out there because what the book is, is a DIY guide for donors. It's taking everything that we've learned, my partners and I, in our philanthropy advising practice over the last dozen years, and distilling it for people who want to self implement or for philanthropy advisors who are working with donors to help people gear up their giving in a way where they end up with something that's really meaningful to them. Not only is it having impact out in the world, but it's personally fulfilling to the donor. And that's kind of the mission that I'm on with this book. And so for sure, I am committed to spreading the word and appreciate everybody who checks it out.

Good. No, I'm so excited. And look, the one thing I want to chat about for the listener right now is believability. Often we see coaches, we see advisors, consultants, authors putting their work out there and the first thing you do is go, well, for me anyway, what's the believability rating of that, the credibility of that author? Look, I look at what you and your incredible partners have done. You've helped people, your clients, give away over 1 billion with a B. $1 billion. That's so to me, you're a walker, as in you walk the talk and you've done it, you've helped others do it. There's massive believability. So this essentially DIY playbook is a product of a process that works, of models that work that allow you to take action. So this is not just for ultra high net worth. Obviously it's going to be very impactful for them. But this is for the everyday hero who actually wants to make a difference in the world, right?

Yes. And I think it's so important to say that when we talk about giving, we're not just talking about money. And so often we gravitate right to money and we think about money as a scarce resource. If I have some and I give it away, I have less. But there are multiple forms of capital. Intellectual capital, physical capital, natural capital, social capital, political capital. And many times we have not taken stock of our own abundance. So we occupy this place of scarcity, especially if we're still striving and aspiring to accumulate more financial resources. And by the way, some of the wealthiest people out there do not experience Abundance, they're still in a scarcity mindset because they're aspiring and acquiring is the relationship they have with their wealth. And there's never enough when you're in that mode. And so part of what we teach is this shift that we take in our lives in our relationship with money, from aspiring and acquiring to managing and maintaining to distributing and dispensing, and that you can actually have those three relationships at the same time. It's not just a sequence. And you can have that distribute and dispense relationship with non financial capital at any point. Meaning that, you know, maybe you're part of a church community or your block, you know, you and your neighbor are able to help someone else down the street. Some of this sounds very mundane, but we often undervalue the ways we show up for each other. And it can be tremendously rewarding. Even these like, little, just smiling at people who, you know, you would otherwise not acknowledge. It's like that gratitude practice. And why the book is called Money with Meaning, is that the process of giving, of putting resources in flow, we are wired in a deep way to find that meaningful. And we've been separated from that, I think so much in the way we live our lives that we don't often stop and take stock and realize how much we actually have to give.

Yeah, and you're so right about this idea of almost a silo or on an island individually where we are protecting and hoarding. And there's this whole idea of scarcity around resources. You know, living in New Zealand, we've got the incredible Maori people and a lot of Pacific island people, and it's very much about Whanau, about family, community, less about individual and more about the we. A good example, Alex, of that was back in 2011, we had the devastating Christchurch earthquake. And within 24 hours we had a young individual bring together the student volunteer army. So he got together, using social media, all of the students at universities who were off university because everything was closed due to the earthquake and the damage. And he was able to coordinate this community army to get out and help people who didn't have access to water and get people back into connection with each other and supplies. And to me, that's really the human capital, social capital, the idea of meaningful giving. And this idea you're talking about with money, with meaning, how does someone who has any level of wealth, whether it's they've got 100,000 and that's their net worth or they've got 100 million, how do they shift that narrative? Of enough is never enough, I need to hoard. How do we start to change that? Is there a starting point for the listener that they could embark upon?

Well, we actually talked about it earlier. It's the gratitude practice. Let's think about it. If you remind yourself of three things you are grateful for every day, you've just sat in your abundance. And we are so wired to look at our scarcity and not to reflect on what's abundant. And so the irony there is that no matter how much you have, if you don't actually center your attention on what's abundant, just our evolutionary psychology, where we're always just one step ahead of the saber tooth tiger. We so much focus on what's missing or where the danger or the threat might be. And so you're not going to take your eye off the ball with a gratitude practice. Like so many of us worry we'll lose our edge. No, no, no. It's like it's the opposite. Because a lot of times when you're in that scarcity mindset, you're powered by fear and it works. You know, you can really achieve at a high, like, but then you encounter the limit. And what I see in my practice is a lot of people who've been super successful and are now at a place in their life where they want the abundance to create meaning for them, but they actually can't experience the abundance because they're still in that mode of striving. And so when it comes to their giving, they're actually trying to maximize impact. They focus on a metric I got to do the most possible good, that they actually end up with spiritless giving, where it's not relational, it's not bringing them any sense of fulfillment. And. And some people will just do it like a chore and stick in it. And some people will give away a lot of money that way. But a lot of people, if it's not really at the end of the day bringing fulfillment, they'll do less of it. And so that's a big premise of the book, is that we actually have to create space for our own joy and fulfillment. And it sounds counterintuitive, like if I'm giving money or giving anything away, I should be focused on other people. I should only care about impact. And that's to fail to recognize our own humanity, that we need to actually experience abundance and joy in the process of our own giving, otherwise we're going to do less of it. And then we end up with senseless giving where we stop giving or for tax Reasons we put all our money in a donor advised fund and we just leave it there. Right. And so it's really about meaningful giving where social impact and fulfillment come together and we don't, I think, name that enough. And it doesn't have to be financial. Right. I mean, Habitat for Humanity is another great example. You know, you talked about earthquake relief, Habitat for Humanity. Yes, there's money required to build houses, but some of the most meaningful ways that people engage is actually to literally come together and build a house. You know, and I was really involved in that in college and it was so meaningful. And to this day, there are homes that, you know, I know I put up that sheetrock and I learned construction skills in the process. And it was a lifetime gift to myself, not just to the family that moved into that home.

It's beautiful. There's like a residue, a meaning residue, self meaning residue that's lasted for years, decades for you when you look back to college and I guess from your end, you want to help donors create that long lasting residue of deep meaning with their giving. As opposed to, here's $1,000 to X charity. That's tax deduction. Great, everyone's happy. But actually, long term residue is not there. You're not truly giving with that sense of meaning. Right?

Yeah. I think there's opportunity for all of us, wherever we are in our lives, to give more meaningfully. Not necessarily to give more. Maybe you don't have more money to give, but you can be more intentional. Even if it's simply not changing your behavior, not changing what you're giving to, but actually taking a deeper pleasure, savoring the positive experience that the giving creates. And if you find there's some giving you're doing that just doesn't connect for you to open up space to examine that and figure out like, hey, is there something else that would be better aligned for me? Because guess what? I'm not worried that you will not have impact with your giving. We're in a world that's on fire. There are so many causes, organizations and leaders that you can get behind. That is the I truly. When donors worry that they won't make a difference with their money.

I think what they're really saying is, I'm worried that I won't feel fulfilled by my giving. I won't have the sense that my money is making the difference I care about. And so some of that is about measuring impact in some cases, but a lot of times it's about changing what, what's going on inside your mind. Your thoughts, feelings and actions. That's where, you know, that's really the only thing any of us has to work with in any event. So, you know, I think the psychological lens is, you know, really becomes important when we talk about giving. Even if you're just writing a few checks each year or just giving to people that you encounter in your daily life, that opportunity for meaning is there in every one of those instances.

I love when you talk about this, Alex. And it takes me back to journaling for a second to have meaningful thoughts. Journaling is going to help you with that. Those meaningful thoughts will lead to more meaningful feelings, which will then really transform and shape more meaningful actions. But it all loops back to that self awareness, that journaling practice, that gratitude practice.

Yeah, yeah. I, you know, in the programs and sort of the trainings that we do, we really talk about the need for personal growth is sort of the starting point for any kind of change, personal change, and for social change. And, you know, I don't know, I don't know if the Dalai Lama said exactly this, but something to the effect of, you know, there's no path to world peace that doesn't run through individual transformation. And that sentiment is expressed across multiple cultures, religious traditions, that, you know, the change starts with you be the change you want to see. There are all these phrases we have for that idea. And fundamentally, I think it comes down to the fact that being a human being is weird. Like we are. We have an individual consciousness, but we're all here together. And how you make sense of that. You know, for me, like, the meaning of life is actually pretty simple. It's to develop yourself in order to better serve others. And. And I've never, like, felt that that was a big mystery. But the process of doing that is a continuous unfolding. And.

When you take on the challenge of giving and gearing up your giving in whatever sphere you have to work in, you're really right at the front end of that meaning in your life because you will need to rise yourself. You will need to grow your consciousness, your skills, your abilities, your knowledge in order to give in a more meaningful way. And in the process, you're going to be creating opportunity for others on their own journey. And so, you know, for me, like, one of the most meaningful things that I do in my giving is actually something that we do as part of our business, but, you know, is basically raising sponsorship to create growth opportunities for social entrepreneurs, for philanthropy advisors, you know, all of whom are working, you know, on the front lines of these challenges of Getting resources in flow. And so, you know, we recently had a gathering of our Joyful Impact accelerator, current cohort of 16 social entrepreneurs and alums who were all together in person back in November. And it was just such an extraordinary joy and privilege for me to be in this space and to just hear people narrating the journey that they'd been on with each other. And.

You know, I thought as I was headed back home after that, like, yeah, that was meaningful. Like, you know, the, the. What we did to sort of mobilize the resources and the people, other people who supported it. So meaningful. Like, I feel so blessed to have been able to, to be part of creating that opportunity for others.

What I love about that as well, Alex, is that, you know, when you look at, say, go back to James Clear that you talked about earlier, and we look at the habit loop, the last part of the habit loop is the dopamine, the reward. And that's what keeps us fired up to keep going back and doing the habit or the thing. Well, it sounds like what you've done there is you've got massive amounts of dopamine at the end, so you're really inspired to go and do the same thing again.

Yeah. So literally, as I flew back, I put on some music on my headphones and I spent an hour just embodying like soaking in the feeling of being part of this gathering for several days and seeing people sharing with each other and supporting each other at such a deep level. And this is a cohort that's diverse by design. It's us based social entrepreneurs. Half people of color, half men, half women. And to just see how they're showing up for each other and for themselves. And, and because I've coached many of them personally, I'm no longer coaching them. We have alums who are running the program now. But.

Just the personal sense of connection I felt was so strong and I really wanted to remember it and sort of bring it into my body, if that makes any sense, to embody that so that it continues to sort of be there for me. And I think a lot of times in our lives we just pass over these peak moments. We sort of, we kind of know they're there as it's happening, but then we just move on. And, and that's why that gratitude practice again is so powerful because you just, it's just that opportunity to like, remember it again. Or if you have like a text message to yourself, put a little hashtag peak moment and then take a picture or whatever. Like you can make A little highlights reel for yourself of these, of these moments that you can, you know. And when you're not feeling inspired, play that reel and see how you come out.

Great advice. Just a couple of last questions. Alex, I want to be really mindful of your time, but a few more questions. One is this. I've got some friends and clients who don't give capital in terms of financial capital. So they are really well known athletes or celebrities or influential community leaders. And they get asked upon a lot for their time to show up to charitable events or to host a dinner and that's auctioned off at an event. And what I hear overwhelmingly is that they're burned out, they are almost fed up. They don't know where to give up their time or which charity to go to. What advice do you have to those people who don't have the money necessarily, but they have some sort of influence influence and people want a piece of them. What advice do you have for them around where to spend their time and which foundations to support?

Yeah, well, I mean, to me, some of this is what I tried to capture in the book. We've got a whole, we have actually 10 design fundamentals for meaningful giving. Everything from worldview to why, what, where, when. And there are some questions in that chapter of the book that can be powerful to reflect on because I think what you're describing is the experience of senseless giving where someone has been asked, they're showing up and they don't feel like they're really making a difference or not. Not something that's kind of meaningful to them and maybe not even meaningful out in the world. And that can happen a lot when you're like treating the symptoms of a bigger issue and you just think you're, you know, on a hamster wheel and it's not really going to change. And so.

The.

Short answer is, one of the most powerful things that I know to do in that situation is to find some people who you admire who are working on the front lines of an issue you care about and find a way to get behind them as an accelerator and whether you have tremendous cultural capital as an athlete, whether you have political capital as somebody who's connected to decision makers, whatever it is that you have to offer, even if it's not money, in fact, especially if it's not money.

Getting into a relationship with someone on the front lines of an issue you care about and understanding from them what would help shift their context. It does not take hours to do this. I mean, you can have a powerful conversation that's half an hour long. And the two questions that I always ask in a powerful conversation, what would make the next year extraordinary for you? And what's the single biggest challenge that's standing in your way? And if you have a conversation like that where you ask that of the other person and you share your answer, too, now you look around each other's worlds for how you can accelerate each other's work, that to me, is one of the most powerful ways to get started on giving in a deeply meaningful way.

Incredible. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. And I believe knowing some of these people who are CEOs and leaders of community foundations and charities, I mean, these people are the salt of the earth. They are driven. They're up all hours trying to make a difference. Why would they need to pick up this book? What will that help them with? What problem might that solve for them?

Well, the first thing I'd say is, if you're that busy like me, don't pick up the book. Get the audible. So I read hundreds of books, but I don't read them. I listen to them. And I listen to them at these different points in my day, when I'm ready to sort of receive something, and I listen to them at double speed, I recorded that book. I've listened to myself at double speed. And trust me, you'll get plenty. Just so that's the first thing. It's like, I don't actually recommend that you sit down. If you are that engaged in your life, it's a fantasy to think that you're going to set aside hours a day for reading. That's point number one. Point number two, why would you pick up or listen to a recording like this? Or there are many others out there?

Because the chase, like those of us who are called to service, called to achieve.

You can't turn that off. And if you don't find a way to find personal fulfillment in the process of your striving.

You are condemned to a life of dissatisfaction and feeling out of alignment without even really knowing why. And it just doesn't have to be that way. And so there are lots of ideas and different pathways in the book. There's a whole section on personal development like it might have seemed. Who's this philanthropy advisor talking about self development? Because it's so core to actually having meaning in your life, building yourself up. There's a whole section of the book about relating to other people. We haven't even talked about that, but that's really fundamental. And so this idea of rising Developing yourself, relating to other people, and then reallocating the resources that are already in abundance for you is powerful. And it's changed my life. And I really believe not only can it change others lives, but it can change this future right now so that we don't have to be looking at a grim future for humanity. We can actually say, you know what, this period of a couple decades was the pivot point where we kind of found the next way to be as a species and as individuals.

Incredible. And to the listener or the viewer right now, I want you to know that you can be part of the law of marginal gains. That's right, sir Dave Brailsford coined it. But it's that 1% stacking and stacking. And you do that as a viewer or a listener right now by getting the book, by sharing it with someone, by understanding what it is to give money with meaning. So Alex, just to wrap things up, one, what is your Everest? So for the next 10, 20 or 30 years, what is it that's driving you? What's that success metric when you get there and you look back and you go, whoa, that was worth it. What exactly is that?

Yeah, it's really helping to seed and build a movement for more meaningful giving. My context is the US but really this is global. We have 325 billion a year from ultra high net worth from all individual giving, from everybody. And I would be thrilled if in the next three, four or five years we get to 500 billion a year and then we get to a trillion. And just what that would do.

Philanthropy and giving can't solve every problem. We need the government, we need business, we all need to be in this together. But it is absolutely possible for each of us to give more meaningfully and in the process, to truly change the world. And so I don't know whether I don't expect to summit Everest per se, because I think I'm going to be climbing my whole life, but I think we're going to be doing this together. And what we're going to see as people lean in and start giving more and more is that we actually start really turning the corner on some of these deep challenges that for some people right now feel like an existential threat to our whole path.

That's incredible. And I love that you do right there say, you know what, I don't know if I'll ever get to the top. It's going to be constantly climbing. And I think a true Everest, a true, as Jim Collins would be, call it a bhag. The big hairy, audacious goal. It has to be something that you think, wow, there's a chance I might not get there. But if I do get there, then the impact is just so huge. So, Alex, please know over the years to come that I'm here to support you in any way that I can with whatever capital I can. And you're truly right. It's global. I'm sitting here on the south island of New Zealand, currently Europe, on the Eastern seaboard of the United States. There'll be people listening to from almost every country on the planet. This is a global movement. This book applies to every human across every cultural background and age and stage. So one very last question I would like to ask you to fast forward many, many years into the future. You are highly aware that it's your very last day here on Earth and a very young person whom you love dearly walks into the room and says, alex, how do I go about leading my life on purpose? What would you say to them?

I so appreciate the question and I think I would share with them my own life philosophy, which is to cultivate yourself, love yourself and your growth as a means to serving others. And that when you orient yourself that way, you just, you really tap into your greater potential and you live a life of purpose when you grow yourself in order to better serve others.

Really powerful. Really, really powerful. I know there will be a listener right now who needed to hear that, that will really support them on their journey as they step in to 2024. Alex, just a huge thank you. I want to reconnect again and have another conversation. I feel like we just scratched the surface. I just want to say a huge thank you for the time and the space that you created to connect today.

Well, James, thank you. And I really, I haven't mentioned this before, but your example of service, the platform that you're creating, the people that you're bringing through, and what you are helping people do in their own journey is so powerful. So it's really a privilege to be here with you in this space and I'm wishing you all the best in this coming year and I look forward to how we continue to intersect in so many ways.

Thank you so much. Alex.

Thanks for tuning in today and embrace investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button and I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks and leaders. It's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.