Dr. Sasha Shillcutt Recap: How to Enforce Brave Boundaries

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Welcome back. On our last episode we had Dr. Sasha Shilcutt, a tenured and endowed professor and the Vice Chair of Strategy in the Department of Anesthesiology and at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Sasha is the CEO and founder of Brave Enough, a well published researcher in cardiac anesthesiology and gender equity. Look, there were so many takeaways, so many incredible takeaways. Dr. Sasha is a wealth of wisdom and I wanted to just share a few nuggets of gold with you and I really hope that one or two of them might land with you and might make a really great impression on your perception of the reality around you. Before I do that, I'm just incredibly excited to say that hpl, the High Performance Leadership Program, is sold out, the doors are closed and we're only a matter of weeks away from the event. So a huge thanks to our platinum partners, that's Brannigan's and the VVV Real Estate Group. So grateful to partner with you and thank you to everyone who is coming along. We have some incredible attendees that are bringing a wealth of energy, knowledge, wisdom themselves and of course our special guests, Ali Adams, CEO of Christchurch nz, Steve Hanson, the former All Blacks head coach and our former Prime Minister of New Zealand, Sir John Key. Very excited about it. So if you're coming along, I will see you there. Looking forward to it. So back to the show. So leaders, they are people who have strong ethics and a desire to improve whatever community they are in. And Dr. Sasha is particularly impressed by women physicians. You know that the doctors who were working full time and homeschooling full time during COVID and still had the capacity to check in on one another and their community. She's part of that community. One of the big takeaways was that she said that most people don't realize that burnout is a clinical diagnosis. The top three symptoms are emotional exhaustion, which she said is mainly women, cynicism, which she says is mainly men, and disengagement experienced equally by both highly functioning people. Are the people at risk of burnout. So yes, that's you, the high performer, the high achiever, the person who continually reaches for more. You're absolutely at risk of burnout. If we over function on an ongoing basis, it leads to stress. That's just how it is. And when we are stressed, we over function. All that over functioning leads to burnout, which equals no functioning.

So all of that over functioning leads to no functioning. That's pretty obvious. But often it's hard for us to see that when we're in the weeds. It's a dangerous place to be. You know, suicide levels increase, depression increases, anxiety and addiction too. We need to be checking in on our over functioning and our high functioning colleagues and friends. It's really important to recognize that the busy people often are the people that are the ducks. You know, they're floating above the water looking like they're gliding across the pond, but when you look underneath, they are scrambling to try and stay afloat and move. Keep up with mum. So for those high performers in your life, and maybe you are that high performer, I urge you to check in and look. Burnout is inevitable if we don't have boundaries. You need to identify what boundaries you have with yourself. But before we start enforcing them for everyone around us, let's start with ourselves. What are those mini boundaries that you need for you? There's no point in trying to enforce a boundary for someone externally if you can't even enforce one for yourself.

Start scheduling in some alone time. Maybe start with 15 minutes a day. If you can't fit that in, then something's wrong. Boundaries don't only keep the bad out, they keep the good in.

So I want you to really look at what are those things in your life that aren't good for you? What are those things that compound your stress and what are your excuses that stop you from chilling out, resting and having some alone time?

Dr. Sasha says it's really important that you clearly communicate what your boundaries are. Clear is kind, you know, be really clear about where your boundaries are. And remember too that you're going to disappoint nice people sometimes. I recently, I'll be honest, I recently had to disappoint someone who I love a lot. They mean a lot to me. And I had to say no, I can't be there for that very important occasion. And it took a long time to come up to, to the realization that I could not be there. There were too many things and too many sacrifices that would have had to be made to be there. And it would have led to a lot of personal sacrifice and a lot of personal pain and overwhelm anxiety. So I took the time to think about that individual, what they meant to me. And then I lifted the phone and they don't live in the same country as me. So to lift the phone and let them know like hey, I love you, I value you so much. But actually I, I can't be at this thing. Here's why? And I hope you can still have time for me in your life and room and care. And it worked out great and they accepted it and it was fantastic. But that's not always the case. Right? But I was just clear with, hey, these are my boundaries and I can't make it where. Do you need to do that in your life? Do you need to do that at work? Do you need to do that with your nearest and dearest? Look, we've all got somewhere in our lives that we need to enforce a boundary with somebody else. So my challenge today is that you walk away from this conversation and you identify one person that needs to be told clearly about a boundary that you're setting that impacts them. I wish you the best with it. Be kind, be clear, be direct. Whether that's a team that you're running or leading, whether that's you telling your boss about your boundaries or a loved one or a child, I wish you nothing but the best with it. And I'm really excited for our next guest on the next episode. But between now and then, please, please, please get out there and lead your life on pur.

Sa.