Feeling Behind in Life? Here’s Exactly What to Do - 1:1 with James Laughlin

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life nail your goals. I'll see you there.

Welcome to Lead On Purpose. I'm James Laughlin, former seven time world champion musician and now executive Coach to global leaders and high performers. Each week I'll publish a solo cast where I'll share my top high performance habits and methodologies to supercharge your life and career. If you enjoy the show, please take a short moment to subscribe and leave a rating and review. I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to connect today and and investing in yourself. Enjoy the show. A very special thanks to NZ Mortgages for sponsoring this episode of the Lead On Purpose podcast. You can check them out at nzmortgages Co NZ Ever feel like life is passing you by while everyone else is winning? Well, that's because you're watching their highlight reels, not reality. Stay with me. I'm going to show you how to stop comparing and really start thriving. I'm James Laughlin and this is your one to one weekly coaching session where I share with you insights, gems and tools that I use with my elite athletes, global CEOs and winning teams. So let's get down to looking at why is it that we compare? Why do we look around at what other people are doing? Why do we care so much? Well, the world has been set up in in such a way that social media is everywhere. It's free, it's accessible, it's also highly addictive. And let's face it, we are creatures who tend to compare. You know, from a young age. We're comparing our height with one another, we're comparing our speed. We're being assessed in terms of first, second, third, fourth. We're comparing our writing abilities, we're comparing how we do in tests. That doesn't change as we grow older. However, you are in full control of where you place your focus. So if you decide to be scrolling social media looking at people's highlight reels, then you're going to be seeing the best of their lives and you're going to be compelled to try and create those moments for yourself. This is where you see people at special events, you know, filming those special events and not actually being at those special events. You know, people have their phones out videoing everything. And I get it. I capture things. There's certain things I don't want to lose out on and forget, but it's important to be present. But what happens is we're trying to capture these so we can update our social media so that we look cool and so that everyone looks to us and that we're keeping up with the Joneses. But let's face it, at a certain point, you and I will die. And at that very point, I'm sure we won't give a damn what other people thought about our highlight reels, about how quickly we paid our mortgage off, how many millions we made. We will not give a damn. So how about we bring that thought process of, you know, later life, thinking into today? How about we give less dams right now and focus on what's most important? Wmi? What is most important? Well, that's up to you. But I'd say the most important first step today is if you're going to be on social media, only follow or subscribe to people that inspire you, that lift you up, elevate your thinking, challenge you. Unfollow the people that make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow the people that make you feel like you need to go and buy that Prada bag, that make you feel like you need to go to Bali and sit on the beach and take the selfies, unfollow them. Follow people who are in the arena doing the do, fighting the fight. To me, that's what's inspiring. I love nothing more than following people who are taking big swings, trying, often failing, trying again, documenting it, sharing their lessons. I love that. Now, look, if you find people who have the expensive clothing and the fake lips and that actually, truly inspires you, awesome. Keep following them. Nothing wrong with that. But if it makes you feel like I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not strong enough, I don't have enough muscles, I don't have the bag that everyone else had, you know, run from, that, it's super important that we actually take some ownership of where we place our focus. Where do you place yours?

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I would say one of the most important things to do is to slow down, reflect. Where am I spending my time? Great thing to do is ask someone close to you, what do I do a lot? Where do I spend my time? Get your phone out. Look at your screen time. Look at where you're actually spending your time. Are you a shopaholic? Is Temu your best friend? Are you constantly on Amazon, buying left, right, and center? Are you on Instagram or TikTok? And ads come up and you can't help yourself. Well, look, these platforms are literally designed by leading experts on neuroscience. They know how to make you buy. They know the colors to use, the language to use. There's so many persuasive tactics in marketing. I know it because I've been honestly caught by it so many times. I want you to think about what's most important. Fast forward to have almost a mortality mindset. One day you will die. Hopefully you will be very old. That's my hope. Hopefully you will have your cognition and be able to look back on your life and reflect with a loved one. In that instance, do you want to look back and go, wow, I spent my 20s, 30s, 40s, maybe even 50s, comparing myself to others, buying cars because I thought that's what looks cool in this neighborhood or driving into my work. I got to drive the whatever car it is. Will you be proud of that? Or will you be more proud that you drove a car that was good enough for you, lived in a house that was nice enough in a neighborhood that was spot on. But you spent time reading, you spent time in nature, you spent time creating, you spent time with the people that actually matter. What's most important? And look, the one thing I see that trips most people up is money. We need it. Money is important. However, it can become toxic. It could become all encompassing. The one challenge for everyone out there is, what's your number? What's your number? What's your financial freedom number? When do you want to stop working? Maybe you never want to stop working, but maybe you want to have the option if you had to, or if health crisis hit and you had to stop, watch your exact number. I know my number down to the very dollar that when I hit that number, boom, for the rest of my life. I don't need to work another day for the rest of my life. And I'm pushing towards that, taking swings towards that, having fun, doing. So what's your number? Because when you get there, you're free. You're no longer comparing. You no longer care. And everyone's different. Everyone's number will be different, everyone's lifestyle is different. But do what's right for you. Stop comparing. Comparison kills joy. When you're so focused on what you're doing, how you're contributing to the world, the legacy you're writing, you stop comparing. You don't give a damn about comparing with others. So I want to challenge you to step into that today. Focus on you. Focus on taking your swing. What is it today? I know that you can do this. I know that you can dream and you can take swings. And you might fail sometimes, but you know what? If you keep swinging, you're eventually going to win. So don't think small. Minuscularians think small. They have minuscule thinking, tiny. They get given a big old Bertha driver and they start putting around the green with this massive driver. Be the person who gets given the putter and swings and drives at it. You know, go for it. Whatever you're thinking about doing, do it. Whatever move you need to take, take the move. Whatever habit you need to start, start right now. Not tomorrow, right now. Even if you listen to this at 10pm at night, start the thing now. Journaling, meditating, exercising, saving, investing, whatever it might be reading, get the book out. Go for it right now. This is your time. Life is finite. It will end. While you're here, have as much fun as you can. Have a hell of a time. Don't focus on others, focus on what you do, what you contribute, and give back to the people around you that you love most. Have fun. But most of all, please get out there and lead your life on purpose. A very special thanks to NZ Mortgages for sponsoring this episode of the Lead On Purpose podcast. You can check them out @nzmortgages.co nz. Thanks for tuning in today on investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button and and I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks and leaders, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.