How to See Possibilities Instead of Problems with Elisa Schmitz

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Fire can be constructive. You know, you can sort of be forged through fire. So I started thinking about how the fire could be helping me instead of harming me. It's really about stop thinking about this, you know, gosh, I'm just being burned alive and rather that you are the fire. So take it and like, you know, own it. Who cares about all the success and accolades unless it makes a difference for other people.

Welcome to Lead On Purpose. I'm James Laughlin, former seven time world champion musician and now executive coach to global leaders and high performers. In every episode, I bring you an inspiring leader or expert to help you lead your life and business on purpose. Thanks for taking the time to connect today and investing in yourself. Enjoy the show.

Thank you for taking the time to tune in to Lead On Purpose. We recently made the decision to remove all ads on the show for the foreseeable future. Your listening experience is my number one priority. If you gain insights or value from the show and you would like to show your support, please consider making a small recurring donation to cover the significant back end admin and production costs. Even a few dollars per month will make a huge. So thank you. The link is in the show description. Now let's get straight back to this week's incredible guest. I'm incredibly excited to welcome this week's guest, Elisa Schmitz.

Elisa is the founder of I Parenting. It's a best of the web digital.

Media company that was acquired by the Walt Disney Company. And she wrote an incredible book recently called Become the Fire.

And it's all about how do we.

Transform life's chaos into business and personal success. And in a year like this, we know we're staying stepping into uncertainty.

In fact, every day of our life, as we step outside of our front.

Door, we have no idea what's coming our way. So if you want to become the fire and embrace the fire and transform life's uncertainty and chaos into success, then this is the episode for you.

Sit back and enjoy the show.

Foreign.

Elisa, a massive welcome to the Lead on Purpose podcast.

Oh, thank you so much for having me, James. It's a pleasure to be here with you.

Look, I think it's so important that you are here, and I know that the listener that's listening today knows that over the last few years, there's been a great degree of, I would say, uncertainty, and maybe even chaos is the word. And what you specialize in is helping people to really embrace that chaos and learn how to turn that and essentially take that fire and turning it into fuel. So just to get started, what do you mean by become the fire?

Yeah, it is kind of a strange concept to think about, but the way that, you know, as I went through my life and had so many challenges, you know, as we all do, it's a very chaotic time in the world right now, as we know, but we all sort of face these challenges throughout our lifetimes, whether through child, childhood, or, you know, building a career or what have you. And so I started to think about that chaos as fire, like battling fires and always thinking about, gosh, I'm being burned by the fire, and it just feels so uncomfortably hot, right? And you just want to sort of get yourself out of the fire. And I started to think about how to change my mindset and think about the fire in a different way. Maybe the fire, you know, fire can be destructive or fire can be constructive. You know, you can sort of be forged through fire. So I started to think about how the fire could be helping me instead of harming me. So instead of thinking about always trying to get out of the fire, I started to think about myself becoming the fire and harnessing that strength and that, you know, sort of empowerment of. Of fire as fuel. So that's what becoming the fire means. It's really about, stop thinking about this. You know, gosh, I'm just being burned alive and rather that you are the fire. So take it and, like, you know, own it almost.

I love it. And for the person listening right now going, okay, where would the fire show up in my life? Or where is it? You know, is it friction? You know, how would you describe that fire? What would people be looking out for when they're trying to find that fire?

I think the fire shows up in our lives in very unique and personal ways. So depending on, you know, where you're from or what your experiences are, you know, you might be dealing with racism or ageism or health battles, you know, things like this that are, you know, personal struggles, divorce, you know, things like this that are just personally.

Appearing as chaos or fires in your life. And so that's what I mean by it. So it's not really, you know, something that's that sort of, you know, everyone can relate to it in their own individual way. And so instead of thinking about those experiences, being fired, right, that's a fire in your life. You know, thinking about it as being harmful, Start to think about it as being, you know, what can I learn from the experience? What can I take away? How can I do better now that I know that lesson? And that's kind of how I. How I think about fire.

I love it. It's interesting. I asked a number of guests over the last few years. So some of them were running NBA teams, others were running Fortune 200 companies. And I just said, you know, what is the consequence of poor leadership? Well, how would you sum up poor leadership? And about 60 to 70% of them all said this one word within a sentence on their response. Not one word was chaos. They said, if it's poor leadership, chaos ensues.

You know, I'm not surprised.

And where have you seen that show up? Whether with people you consult to or in your own life, where have you seen the chaos show up? And how have you turned that into fuel?

Well, I will tell you, it started from the earliest days. So one of the stories I share in my book is about living in Beirut, Lebanon, when that country was sort of a powder keg before its civil war. I was very young. I describe a scene where I'm, you know, on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building with my father. And, you know, all of a sudden we, you know, hear gunshots coming from the rooftops, and you see snipers on the building sort of shooting down below. And, you know, so even as a child, you know, that that's scary. That's, you know, dangerous. You know, your sort of fight or flight, you know, is going off, ringing all these alarm bells. And so being in that environment as a young child, I describe how that started to, you know, instead of being a very scary. Don't get me wrong, right, this is a very scary thing. It's a very, you know, negative thing. But I started to think about how it gave me something and what I took away from that experience and many others like it, meaning, you know, sort of, you know, challenges and, you know, bullies at school. Another sort of, you know, example of chaos. Early on, it gave me something called what I call situational awareness, which is just a very sort of ability to read the room, take the temperature of the situation, understand what's going on around me, gives you this type of vision that allows you to not only navigate yourself to safety, but also to see opportunities.

By being aware of what's happening around you, you see problems. So I saw problems and started thinking about, how can I solve the problem? How can the problem not be a problem, but an opportunity? And so, you know, again, growing up, the first sort of opportunity I saw was I couldn't. My parents wouldn't buy me, you know, these kind of expensive clothes that I wanted. So I figured out how to make the money myself. Babysitting and, you know, other sort of, you know, early work that I could do to empower myself to achieve what I wanted to achieve. And that just was a kind of a game changer and started to.

Form a pattern for me in my life of seeing problems and figuring out how to create solutions. Make life better. I call it making life better. And that's sort of the mantra that I live by for a long time, both in my personal life and in my professional life. You know, my first business came about through a personal need to make life better. Second business came about through the exact same way. Just, you know, personal observations of my world and other people around me, and then sort of taking the temperature of the situation, making sure there was a business case for this idea, for this problem, and then. And then creating the solution.

I love it when I hear you speak. I think problems present possibilities. And not everyone thinks like that. Like, it's incredible that you do. A lot of people would say problems present anxiety, problems present defeat. But when I hear you, I think the possibilities are at the heart of who you are and what you do. Now, just to step back to Beirut for a second, it's interesting you bring that up. So I'm from Northern Ireland, grew up there, and we had our, you know, we had similar challenges, different, but same concept of fighting, religious divide and power. And there was a lot of bomb scares and whatnot. So it was an interesting childhood, for sure. Now, going back to your experience of the snipers as a very young child, for some, that would have created turmoil, lifelong debilitating anxiety, ptsd. And for many, that's totally the case. Now, for you, that's not the case. It seems you've turned this into something really positive. So I look around us, and we look for role models, whether that's on Instagram, whether that's on books that we're reading. But actually, two of our greatest role models are key caregivers. So the people around us Whether it's our parents or our guardians have such an influence on our mindset. So going back to Beirut, what was your recollection of your parents response to all of this uncertainty with all the chaos?

That is such a keen observation.

And I totally agree with you and I will, without getting all emotional remembering in that moment that I was there with my, my father, who and my two siblings. I have an older brother and a younger sister. And he just, I just remember this, you know, feeling of being completely, you know, startled and you don't know what to do when you're a kid. And he just grabbed our hands and yanked us, literally, you know, dragged us, not dragged us, but you know, guided us back to the apartment where we, you know, then, you know, sort of became a fight with my mother. He and my mother were fighting because she wanted to leave and he couldn't because he was there for, you know, this big work thing. And it became extremely tense. But my dad's, you know, leadership in that moment of first of all getting us out of harm's way, which obviously was key. And so knowing that my dad had my back, literally. And then, you know, he was the one who sort of got us to safety by getting us out eventually from the country. So very dramatic story actually because my mother ended up leaving Beirut because her mother died. And so it was just a really crazy situation. And my dad really had to step, step up at a time when, you know, he was dealing with his own stuff. You know, he was an immigrant from the former Yugoslavia where it was, you know, leaving World War II. So again, like he was dealing with his own ghosts of, you know, childhood trauma, leaving a war torn place, being in another war torn place, getting his kids out. I mean, crazy. So he was.

A definite role model, you know, strength under fire, resilience, you know.

You know, and he has always been that way for me, you know, ever since.

It's incredible. And I, I think it's just such a special thing, almost full circle for you to, to write this book and to help others who are walking through their own version of fire. And some people reading this book will be in war torn areas, you know, that may be in the Ukraine right now. There will be people sitting in New York reading this book who are having a really bad week at the office and that's their version of fire. And it's really incredible that you've taken that experience as a child and then through other parts of your life and turned it into a pathway of hope. It's really incredible.

Thank you thank you. I mean, you know, it's. When you get to a certain place. Look at you. Got me all weepy here. But when you get to a certain place in your life.

At least in my case, you want to share what you've gone through in the hopes that it makes a difference for other people.

Because at the end of the day, that's all we really have. Like, who cares about all the success and accolades unless it makes a difference for other people? That's, again, that's how I've always sort of lived my life. How can I make life better? And I've done that.

Through those businesses. But really, the book, you know, the way I think of it is it's like the ultimate cup of coffee, right? People ask, can I sit down and, you know, have a cup of coffee? And we talk about it, and I'm like, I can tell you so much more and share so much more through these words that I struggled over, you know, for years than I ever could at a cup of coffee or at a guest lecture or whatever. So this book, in my view, is the ultimate sort of form of mentorship that I can. That I can give, and I love to mentor people. You know, this. I tell the story about how the book actually came to be because of this mentoring organization that I'm a part of, and somebody asking me a question after I told my story, how did you do it? You know, and I was sort of blown away by the question, like, how did I do it? I don't know. I have to really think about it. And so that's how the book came to be.

And honestly, I would say writing the book and writing any book is so difficult because to distill your life lessons into a book, it's so difficult because you have to take so much out to get to the core of the message.

Right, Exactly. And it's. You know, there's a million stories in your life, but you. You know, for me, choosing the ones that sort of made the point and were sort of those. Those pivotal moments like the Beirut story or, you know, a few others in there that really sort of gave me those tough experiences. I was talking about those fires that I was able to transform into fuel. I mean, that's the. How did you do it? Really, in my view, it's not about. Well, I went and I formed a C Corporation or. You know what I mean? It's. It's not that. It's the. It's the mindset that I was able to cultivate that enabled me to do it much more so than the first you go, you know, and set up your llc. I mean, it's, you know what I mean? Anyone can tell you how to do that. So it's about, it's about taking the, you know, as you said, that you know, the problems and turning them into possibilities. That's, that's the part that I was trying to get across and I hope that I did.

Oh, I'm sure you, I'm sure you'll get an amazing feedback from, from all of your readers throughout the world. And this mindset side of things, it's, it's something that we all want to master. And I truly think when you learn to master your mindset, and to me that doesn't mean it's an end product. Like we don't get to the point of absolute mastery. It's a never ending journey. But we learned to really work with it. It can transform our perception of the world. It can transform our relationships. What was the pivotal moment for you? We were like, oh, I can go that route with my mindset or I can go that route. What was our pivotal moment there?

You know, I mean, I'm not sure that there was one because there's, you know, the childhood moments and I'm sure someone else having been in that experience that I just described to you, could have gone in a different direction. And why did I go in the direction that I did? I can't, I don't know how if I can answer that right. Like, that one's a tough one because I was so young. But then as I grew older and I described the, you know, wanting these, you know, kind of fancy clothes that I saw people wearing and that my parents were like, you know, so I figured out how to solve that problem.

I think it's, it's, it's, it's really, for me, I guess there's a little piece of instinct in there. In there too, right? It's these, these things can be taught, which is what I'm trying to do. But there is a bit of that sort of instinctive, well, this is how I'm going to do it. I'm not going to let the world sort of knock me down because I just have this inside of me that I want to do more, I want to become more. I just, you know, I guess there was one time too that now that I think, think of it that I describe in the book that, you know, visiting some, some of my cousins in Puerto Rico, in New York, who are my Puerto Rican side of the family cousins, and just seeing, you know, some things that really made me feel more driven, so sort of drug use and, you know, people that, that I, that I am personally related to. You know, these are my, you know, current cousins and I just felt very much like I wanted to do more with my life. And so I think that was another really formative moment where, you know, I could have gone in a certain direction and I, you know, thought about it very hard and was like, I'm going in the other direction. So that was probably a very key moment for me when I was, that was in early high school, so, you know, 14 years old.

Yeah. It's such a choice, isn't it, that in terms of growth, growth is really difficult. But also this path that seems easy, which may end up being very difficult in the long run, is also, it's, it's a hard choice. So choosing growth is not an easy pathway, but I'm glad that's the one you did choose.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it's not easy. It's definitely not easy. And it's, it's, it's a daily thing. You know, I am who I am now, but I still find myself, you know.

You, you have a choice every day you get out of bed. Right. You know, I have some health challenges that I deal with. And so, you know, and the other day a tree, a giant massive oak tree fell on our house. Wow, this is, this is true, by the way. It just happened a few days ago. So chaos continues to happen. You know, all of a sudden you hear this rumble, rumble, crash on your house and you're like, what just happened? And it's, you know, a giant 100 year old oak tree on your roof. So anyway, you have a choice. How do you respond to that chaos, that fire? It's like, oh my God. You can go like, I just go crawl under the covers and hide from it, or you can be like, well, let's get the tree off the house and keep going, you know, so it never ends and it's always a choice. And so that mindset has to be actively engaged.

Yeah, of course. And for the person listening right now going, hey, this is so uncertain. I have no idea what's happening this year. The news is forecasting this with the economy and this with the pandemic and this with the war. So for that person, that's, that's worrying, struggling. What's your advice to them around being able to be successful and to thrive this year in their own lives?

Yeah, I think this is a really crazy time, but it's also a time full of possibilities because the pandemic in particular brought all of this sort of, you know.

Problem, but opportunity. So we're all talking about the great resignation, we're talking about quiet quitting, we're talking about pivots, you know, things like that. And I think that that is awesome because.

We'Ve felt our mortality, which was horrifying and awful at the same time. It's given us sort of this fresh perspective on life and savoring each day and living life with intention and living life, quite frankly, the more the way we want to live our lives because we don't know about tomorrow. So harnessing that energy, that positive, you know, sort of opportunity, if you will, to make a change, to start that business that you've always wanted to start. But you were just like, gosh, you know, you know, I just, I don't want to take the risk. I'm a firm believer in taking that risk, the calculated risk. If, you know, you're weighing the risk and the reward and, you know, tipping over onto the side of the, being courageous and, and stepping into that moment of fear, but giving it a try and taking all of those hard won lessons, you know, and just saying, you know what, or starting it as a side hustle, you know, that's another big thing for that I advise people, is if, you know, you need that income, I totally understand, you know, finding ways to at least get started and take a step forward.

Because if you don't, you'll regret it and you'll never know. Maybe you have the next, you know, idea. Even if it's not the next big idea, it might be the next idea that brings you an extra couple thousand a month or whatever it is that you need. You never know what it could be unless you try. So, you know, that's kind of my perspective on this crazy time that we're living in is that yes, we have problems, yes, we have challenges, yes, we have sort of, you know, these weird things that happen, but that also gives you opportunity, you know, look around, see the possibilities, you know, what do you need in your life? What do your friends and family need? What does your boss need? And then start to find solutions and take steps towards, you know, making something happen, manifesting what you want.

Great advice. And often when we're fearful, we just are debilitated, you know, we don't know how to take the first step. So someone might be listening to this thinking, I want to learn to swim. I want to go for that first 1km run or I want to apply for that CEO role that I've dreamt of my whole life. What's your advice to them? To actually just take the first steps. They're no longer debilitated. They're not sitting in indecision. They're actually going to step into their fear and step into the fire.

Hey, James here.

I wanted to take a quick moment to let you know about something. Look, I get asked to deliver keynotes and workshops for teams and companies all over the world, from London to Antarctica, from America to Australasia, from armies to.

Small businesses to large corporates to sports teams.

But I go in and deliver keynotes, I around the mindset of high performers, around the habits of high performers, about how we navigate change.

If you would like me to come.

And speak to your team or speak at your conference or deliver a bespoke workshop, please get in touch with my team. Carolinejlochlan.com will be able to help. I'll also make sure that we put that in the show notes.

The first thing that comes to mind is, what have you got to lose?

Why not? You know, I always think about sort of the abundance mindset.

And looking around you at the fact that there's enough for everybody. So why not you? Why would you think, gosh, I'm not qualified, I don't have the experience or I'm not prepared if this is you're training for something, like, why not you, why not try, you know, and sort of, you know, if you need the, if you need the preparation, start, Start preparing however you need to. Whether it's, you know, running the 5K before you run the marathon or, you know, whatever it is, start, Start somewhere. Because if you, you know, that lack of inertia, you know, just. It'll always be there unless you do something that, that gives it a little bit of a kickstart, a spark, as I like to call it in the book. You know, take that spark and run with it. But, but yeah, I really believe that a lot of us are struggling with that fear, that imposter syndrome, that they just aren't worthy or can't quite figure out why I could be successful. But the point is that if I can do it, and I interviewed 10 other leaders for the book, here's how they did it. You can certainly do it, too. You don't need to be on the inside. You don't need to have any sort of Ivy League education or anything like that. It's really about what's in here and what's up here. And then Hitting go, you know, hit go.

Yeah, I love it. And I love the idea of the spark and how important that spark is. So for people who have experienced racism, ageism, sexism, ableism, often those people have had their belief systems rewritten and they have these new beliefs around how they fit into the world. And sometimes it can be really disempowering for them, really holds them back. How can they really become the fire and go, you know what? I'm not going to let other people tell me that I'm too old, too young, too this, too that. What's your advice for them to really embrace the fire and move forward and rewrite their belief systems?

Yeah, I love that question.

My answer, I feel like I have two or three, but the first thing that again, that comes to mind is that nobody on the planet has the same experience.

Perspective.

Lens through which they're viewing the world. So you already have something very special because it is unique to you. And so whether it's your age or the fact that you're an immigrant, or any of these experiences that are very difficult sometimes to overcome, it's given you that unique perspective. And your experiences in life, whether they're, you know, like mine that I just described, or whether, you know, there's something totally different.

Have given you sort of those lessons that are unique to you that you can apply and then use to inform how you operate in the world.

One thing I like to share is that, you know.

Companies that have diverse teams, diverse boards, diverse points of view represented on their management teams are much more successful. That's just a fact. And so I feel like, you know, rather than viewing your differences as a weakness, finding ways to think about them as your strengths, as your superpowers, and so that your what makes you different also makes you powerful. And then as you think that way, your mindset changes. And then I feel like it changes the way you move through the world because you're now thinking of your differences as your strengths rather than things that hold you back. So I talked to a number of leaders in the book who basically say they're looking for people who think differently than they do. They're looking for people with different perspectives because that helps inform their leadership. And then they take that into account before they make a decision and move forward. And so I would encourage anyone listening to think about that. And how does your unique perspective and experience as you have moved through the world help you and help others? How does it help the CEO that you want to, you know, prove yourself to so that you can get get that promotion or what have you, you know, and, and just, you know, that's how I would think about it. Just, you know, training yourself to, you know, re rewire your brain, like every experience that you have, every sort of trait that you embody is something that can be a strength and not a weakness.

I love it. And you really embrace that uniqueness. And it's interesting you mentioned about a diverse board, a diverse leadership team, a diverse team in general. There's studies, and I've read this report, that they are more successful and that even goes down to the financial metrics that a more diverse organization ends up making more money. And we actually had a guest on who works in the DEI space a few months ago who said exactly that, who actually stated the report. And we had a bit of feedback from an individual saying, I just don't believe it and you don't need diversity in teams. Well, the report speaks for itself.

You know, I am glad you brought that up. And I think there's, you know, more research being done into that, which is, which is good because we'll have more and more of this data to point to that just says this is a fact. You know, the diversity equals success and financial success and company success. And, you know, so yes, I'm glad you that you shared that and I'm glad that your guests shared that as well, because the more we spread that.

Message, the better, 100%. And when you were authoring the book, how did you meet that requirement for your own diversity when you were interviewing the leaders?

I guess I'm fortunate in that I have a pretty strong network.

That is already.

Pretty diverse because that's been important to me my whole life. So I tend to.

Make these connections with very unique and diverse people because I'm, I'm interested in that. I'm attracted to that. I, I find that very valuable for my own life, surrounding myself. I talk about in the book about creating a personal board of directors too. And these are people not necessarily very formal in nature, but informally sort of, you know, gathering people who have a, an interest in helping you, you know, or being there for you so that you can ping ideas back and forth or, you know, whether, you know, formal coaching or just informal role modeling, mentoring, whatever you want to call it, or they'll connect you to somebody. I believe in that. And so these leaders that I shared in the book are, you know, people that are in my own life or came about through one of those other connections. So that, oh, you have to talk to so and so about that. Because, you know, they're perfect. So that's how that came together. And I just was really cognizant about wanting to have a nice, you know, diverse array of voices represented in the book.

I love it. So important. And what's the cost, the true cost, if somebody doesn't become the fire and the fire ends up consuming them in a negative way? What are the costs associated with that?

You know, it's. First of all, I get the kind of. The sad face, you know, that's just. It's just a loss, right, for. For that person in their own life, so that they go through life thinking that they're being burned and gosh, nothing else. Now this happened. And so life is just, you know, against me. And, you know, like, that's just. They feel beaten down, you know, and I get it. Like, there's, like I said, there's days when I wake up and I feel beaten down, right? Because it's just a lot. So. So the cost to that person is, I mean, the opportunity cost, because they're just.

Stuck in that place of maybe it's the scarcity mindset, which is the opposite of what I was talking about with the abundance mindset. And it's just, you know, there's not enough out there. It's just, you know, it's not going to happen for me. You know, all of these sort of negative thoughts that.

Can happen when life takes a, you know, beats you down, which is understandable. So it's. You have to be very careful, I think, to. To keep the mindset in check and to keep feeding yourself positively. And I talk about in the book, what I do personally, to sort of nourish myself so that I can keep that, well, full because it's very easy to have a, you know, just run out empty.

So the opportunity cost for the individual and then that translates into a loss for society because then all of a sudden someone who might have been an extremely valuable player on a team, at a company, at an organization of whatever kind, or helping individual, other individuals, you know, we've lost that. So the way that I like to sort of.

I guess, define leadership or, you know, how do. How do we create more positive leaders? I like to say that leadership is the ability to motivate oneself and others to make the world a better place. And so.

Without what I was just talking about, we've lost that in that particular individual. And then the ripple effect of what that person could have done to, you know, make their own life better first and foremost, and then spread that out into the world to make, you know, other people's lives better.

Yeah, it's a monumental potential impact if it's not acted upon. I love that. And you talked about some of those rituals, routines that you have for yourself. What are some of those things that you really engage in?

Yeah. Oh, gosh. You know, it's been sort of years in the making where I think of.

My ability to lead and what I mean by leading, I mean myself and other people. Because it starts right here. If I can't motivate myself and lead myself, I'm not going to be successful at leading anybody else. So it's a practice that sort of involves some spirituality, some mindfulness, and some physical activities that keep me inspired. I like to say I'm inspired and then I can inspire and be inspired so that it's a. It's a give and take with the world. You know, in order to inspire, I need to be inspired. And so it's kind of like going back and forth all the time. So with that said, I think mindfulness is probably. I've put that at the top of the list. Mindfulness to me is my ability to give myself white space. I call it white space, you know, throughout the day by taking little moments. It's not a lot of time because, you know, super busy, right. But then you have to catch yourself and just be like, before I get to that feeling of, you know, burnout or exhaustion or whatever, I'm going to do X. And so what is X? It can involve meditation for a few minutes. It can involve taking a walk. It can involve. Here's something that I've become really, really excited about, which is going to sound like, ho, hum, gardening.

Love it.

You know, gardening, like, and that can mean, like actually going outside and, you know, digging in the dirt, or it can mean just spritzing my lemon tree plants that I have in pots in my house, you know. Oh, and I. I've now grown like two or three avocado plants from the avocado seed. You know, like totally random small little things that bring me joy and that make me feel like I'm growing something. And it's almost, you know, I don't know, it's. It's like a little bit of an example of what I'm doing in my bigger life. That the gardening is like, gosh, it started from a seed and now it's a plant. And now it's three feet and now it's four feet. And I'm like, holy cow, I'm growing a lemon tree. You know, it's like, wow. And so the joy that I get, it just translates. And giving myself that break in the day to spritz my little lemon tree, you know, it just. All of a sudden, I've stopped thinking about the next phone call or the next article or, you know, whatever. And I'm just like, I'm just spritzing the darn lemon tree.

I love it.

And so, yeah, those are. Those are the types of things. Or taking a walk or yoga, you know, taking a bike ride. Anything that sort of lets you separate yourself from the grind, just even for a few minutes is really, really helpful.

Yeah, I agree. I love that you do that. It's interesting. A lot of my clients who want to embrace more joy and fulfillment, I just ask them to create a joy menu of things they love. Because often when we're feeling overwhelmed, it's hard to think, well, what do I want to do? So for you, it's like, let's go into the garden. But having that on a menu when you feel stressed looking at the menu, okay, I'll do the yoga. I'll do the gardening.

Yes. And journaling, I should say journaling has been really huge. And I don't want it to sound like it has to be something really elaborate or, you know, whatever. And I know some people are really fond of the pen and paper, but even if you. If you're just even, you know, flying by and you have this thought that you want to capture, do it on your phone, like, anywhere you are, just to jot down some random thoughts. I've gotten so many good ideas, you know, like when I'm in the garden, you know, and I'm like, this is a great idea for blah, blah, blah. And then I'll have put it. I don't have my pen and paper, but I have my phone. So I'll jot down a couple of sentences on my phone. And then later I'm like, oh, wow, I'm glad I, you know, did that. Cause I would have forgotten, you know, had I not jotted it down. And it's, you know, translated into, you know, something else that I've done for the business or whatever. So I think, you know, writing is a really big deal. So getting things on paper.

Oh, I agree. And there's such a movement towards journaling, whether that's gratitude, journaling, future self journaling. But I see so much power, and it's something I've done for many years myself, and I just. I really enjoy the experience. Experience of doing it.

Yeah, good well, see, it works.

Now I want to chat a little bit about diversity, equity, inclusion, and about how you, you feel and how you've experienced and seen it. For women who seek success, what is it that they face? What are their challenges? How do they overcome it?

This is such an important topic. There was a study, there's tons of studies on this, but in my book by McKinsey and Company, that this is now, I think, six, maybe sixth year that they've done this study on women in the workplace, and they partnered with the Lean In Organization on this. And they continue to find year after year that there is a broken rung for women in the workplace. And what that means is that women can't climb that ladder at the same pace level as their male or white counterparts. So this is for women and for bipoc, as I call it in my book, which is just.

It's a very sad thing for me because.

We'Re aware that this problem exists for women of color and people of color.

And yet there's just not nothing done. Even though more awareness is. Is helping, but there's broken wrong. And so women are kind of basically stopped from advancing into the C suite. There's also the same problem if you're an entrepreneur as I am, where we have a harder time raising capital that might more easily go to, you know, men. And so I talk about these challenges that I experienced, you know, throughout the, throughout my book, so that people know kind of what I went through and how I chose to focus on it and taking the view, you know, focusing on what I can do instead of what I can't. So when some doors close, you know, I just kind of opened other doors. And I know that that sounds cliche, but that's exactly what I did.

So I, you know, I feel like, again, we talked a little bit earlier in our conversation about, you know, how women can overcome that broken rung and how they can use their differences as strengths and how they can, you know, bring that unique perspective and.

You know, sort of leverage them as their superpowers and, you know, sort of use that as their. I don't want to say how to say, say it. It's not really an opportunity, but it's a advantage. Not an advantage either. It's, it's more like, you know, using. Seeing it as your strength and then going forward with that instead of, you know, letting it hold you back. So it's, it's. Again, it's, it's really more of a mindset than anything and continuing to look for companies that are aware of this problem and actively looking to solve it. Looking for leaders who are talking, you know, not just talking the talk, but walking the walk and actually making changes in their organizations to address this problem. And there, there are many of them that are doing that. That's the. So I think that if you are a woman and you are looking, you know, you're not finding that in your current workplace. My advice is to look around and, you know, look for companies that you see that are walking the walk in this space and leaders of those companies and, you know, start to follow and engage. LinkedIn is a great place for that. I'm finding, you know, it's a great place to engage and many times those leaders will engage back. It's really very cool. You know, there's a lot of negatives to social media, but there's really some positives. And that's one of them, in my view, is that you actually have a little bit of access, if you are strategic and use it in the right way to connect with people that have like minded, you know, sort of views in that area. So that would encourage, you know, opening up your worldview to, you know, other companies. If your company is not recognizing your skills and talents in that area and looking for other opportunities like that.

Yeah, absolutely. And I really feel that positive action trumps positive thinking, you know, and we talk a lot about positive thinking and building awareness. That's definitely the starting point. But we need action and we need things to change. Change happens through action. And a lot of this is top down. So the people sitting at the top have got to make changes. So if there's someone listening right now who leads a team, leads an organization, maybe even leads a country, what's your advice to them around? Hey, this is what positive action looks like. This is how we make a difference for our young girls that are stepping in to the workforce. And this is how we make a difference for our current female workforce.

Yeah, that's an awesome question. You know, and if I had the right answer, I think, you know, the world would change. You know, we. But what I would hope is that as we get more leaders in the positions of, you know, power, the power to make changes happen, that they will see the value in all of the diversity that you and I have been describing, you know, of, of age, of race, of religion, of, you know, immigration, all these different things that make people feel that they're on the outside rather than the inside. And start to broaden your lens leaders, in terms of who you think about for key positions. And yes, look for skills, like hard skills that people have, but also look for soft skills that are, I think, equally important. I talk a lot about.

Empathy in the book because I believe that empathy is probably the number one leadership skill that we need today. And what I mean by that is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and understand what they're going through so that then you can empower them to be their best self within these sort of constraints that they may have. Whether it's, you know, my child is sick or I'm going through a divorce or you know, whatever it is that, that is their fire that they're going through in their life at the time. And if you can put yourself in their shoes and say, you know what it's, you know, it's okay if you're late or you take that day off or, you know, you know, trying to.

Enable people to, you know, be their best selves, give their best work product in sort of the environment that you can meet them where they're at. I think those, those types of actions by people in leadership will pay off hugely because those employees, those team members are then, you know, oh my gosh, I can't believe my boss just, you know, said that like I can be an hour late without feeling like I'm, you know, gonna get fired or I can. Do you know what I mean though? Then they want to, you know, go through walls for you. Then they want to work harder. They will, you know, I don't want to say this is a good thing, but they'll work till midnight. If they don't, you know, they don't start working till one, you know, in the afternoon or whatever. And there's trade offs. And I' operated my businesses like that because I do empathize, I do, I want the best for my employees and, and, and ultimately when I give my employees what's, you know, sort of best for them in their life, they're going to give me their best, which then results in more success for the business.

100 absolutely amazing insights. Look, I've got a couple of last questions for you, if you don't mind. And one of those is in the background. For the person listening and can't see video, there's a big sign in the background that says 30 seconds. So please tell me more about that.

Thank you. Well, 30seconds is my second business, 30seconds.com, and what it is is a digital lifestyle media platform that makes life better in 30 seconds. And we do that by delivering great content that mostly is about.

Health, food, parenting, sort of lifestyle topics that are important to you in your life. And especially we noticed a very interesting trend during the pandemic with people, you know, leaning in towards health and food topics. In particular, we're spending more time at home. We're, you know, making more things our, you know, DIY, things like that. So that's what 30 seconds is all about. We do it, you know, in a short amount of time. Hopefully we deliver on that brand promise and, you know, sort of giving that great, quick information. And that from a need in my personal life back in.

Gosh, was. Was when I was working. So can I give you a little bit of background?

Of course.

Okay. So the first business I started was called I parenting.com and that was from a need in my personal life. I was expecting my first child and wanting information about pregnancy. And so not finding what I was looking for, I created my own. And that, you know, evolved into a very large parenting organization or website that was acquired by the Walt Disney Company. So then I'm working at Disney, and the next thing that's happening is the evolution of mobile. And I'm seeing, you know, we're all addicted to these mobile devices, and this is the next sort of opportunity and challenge problem, if you will, that I need to solve for, which is how do we deliver great information quickly well, while so many other distractions are happening on these phones. So then I developed the 30 seconds concept. So that's what 30 seconds is all about. And, you know, as I mentioned before, kind of, you know, seeing the problem, delivering solutions and making life better is just kind of what. What that's all about.

I love it. Like, I just see you, as you've stepped through your life as saying, okay, I see a problem. Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna find a solution, but I'm also gonna bring people along for the ride. This is gonna be fun. I'm gonna empower others, and I see Become the Fire as the next evolution of that journey for you. It's just incredible what you do and how you do it.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. That means a lot. I really appreciate, especially coming from you. So thank you. I feel.

Very blessed, very grateful that, you know, I've been able to, you know, sort of come through all of this fire and then now put it all into a book that I hope makes a difference and, you know, answers the question, how did you do it? So that then other people can also do it. That's what this is all about for me.

Well, I knew it was the real deal. Because I have a lot of time and respect for your publisher in your world library. And when they reached out to say, james, you've got to have Elisa on the show, I read the book and I was like, yep, 100%, you're right. So I'm delighted that we could create this space. I've got one last question.

Yes, thank you.

If we were to fast forward to the end of life so many, many years into the future, and you know that it's your last day, and someone very young, very special, maybe six, seven years old, comes up to you and asks you, how do I lead my life on purpose? What advice would you have for them?

Wow, what an awesome question. I think you're just trying to. You're just trying to make me cry because that's like I'm, you know, you're, you know, you would hope that.

By that age you'd have so much wisdom that you could deliver, you know, a.

Impactful.

Message that would resonate. How can I live my life on purpose? I think you wake up every day and you intentionally decide.

That it's going to be a great day. And I'm going to look around and I'm going to see the problems as opportunities. I'm going to figure out how to solve problems for myself and for other people. I'm going to create community. Because to your point.

What'S the point if you're not doing it with others and for others.

And you're going to find ways to touch people and make their lives better? Because when you do that, you make your own life better. And so that's what it's always been about for me. It's like solving this problem not only for myself, but for others. And so. And that creates those ripple effects that change the world. So I hope that, you know, a young person would hear those words and then say, I can do that. I can wake up every day and, you know, think of my problems as possibilities and then how to figure out how to solve them, not only for myself, but for other people. That's what I would say.

Elisa, thank you so much for sharing that. And I know that there'll be a listener right now that will go, wow, that's exactly what I needed to hear. And for that listener that's inspired and wants to become the fire, please check out the link in the show notes where you can go and order your copy right now and get reading. And, Elisa, thank you so much for the work that you do. I look forward to reconnecting with you again in the future.

Thank you. I do, too. Thank you so much for having me. James, it's been a pleasure.

Thank you so much.

Thanks for tuning in today and investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button. And I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks. And leaders, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.