Matt Brown Recap: She is Not Your Rehab

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He is a survivor of family violence and childhood sexual abuse and shares his story with the men who frequent his busy Christchurch barbershop, my father's barbers. He uses this as a way to foster vulnerability, healing and connection. I'm honored to call Matt Brown a friend and I had the good fortune of spending a morning with him with a camera crew talking about his life and the lessons he has learned in his life's mission. Matt Brown is a New Zealand born Samoan and an author, a communicator, an internationally acclaimed barber and hair artist. Since 2018, Matt and his wife Sarah have partnered with the Ministry of Social Development as ambassadors for it's their it's not okay campaign. Together they co founded she Is not yout Rehab and launched the concept in Matt's 2019 TEDx talk. Please take a moment to go back and listen to the full episode. Today I'm sharing some of the key takeaways from that conversation. Some really powerful takeaways that I know will have an impact on you.

These takeaways, these shares, are really powerful. Matt comes from a place of knowing, comes from a place of healing. Trauma. And let's face it, you and I, we've all got trauma, right? You know what your trauma is. Whether it's small trauma or big trauma, we've all got it. So please take a moment to go back and listen to the full episode after you get a chance to listen to the recap. And these were just some of the golden gems I took out of it. But there were many more. The first one was this. We are all more alike than we are different. Isn't that the truth?

We are so focused on our agendas, our lives, our mission, our to do lists, our careers, our families, our daily routines. But you take a little moment, you go up into a satellite and you look down at earth, you would see lots of people doing very similar things. We are all more alike than we are different. That goes the same for trauma.

99.9% of us have trauma. We are all more alike than we are different.

And I apply this to leadership as well. We all want to succeed and the vast majority of leaders want their people to grow and succeed and be happy and healthy leaders are more alike than they are different, right?

Another big takeaway here was our childhood trauma is not our fault, but our healing is our responsibility.

That landed pretty deep with me. We can choose to live in the past or we can choose to face the past.

Get real with it.

And figure out how do we move forward from this and moving forward from that. In my mind, that's healing. So that quote from Matt was really powerful. Our childhood trauma is not our fault, but our healing is our responsibility. What does that mean to you.

As you hear that?

What does that bring up for you?

Perhaps there's a moment today where you can just reflect on what that means.

Men are often known for being stoic and strong and stubborn. The protectors, the fixers. But what Matt said was men need to learn to be vulnerable. They need to learn that it's okay to heal and be vulnerable.

If you're a man listening to this, when was the last time you showed true vulnerability?

And if you're not a man listening to this, when was the last time you seen a man in your life show that it's something that us men need to work on? Every now and then, I let my guard down. My little son Finn, he's seen me cry a few times, only a few times in his six and a half years of life, but he has. And during those vulnerable moments, I felt I shouldn't be doing it. I should be showing absolute strength. But actually it was strength and me showing. That was the beginning of some incredible conversations with Finn around why I was like that and how I was helping myself process. So great takeaway from Matt there. He said that owning your story is the most powerful healing tool. Ain't that the truth? When you can tell your story and tell it from the heart, what a great way to heal.

And this was a brilliant one. Intimacy. To Matt, it means in. To me, I see intimacy. Intimacy. Into me, I see. I'd never heard that before.

Be intimate with yourself. Look inwards. You can see inside your soul. You can see inside your challenge, your trauma, your dreams, your hopes, your joy. Into me, I see personal intimacy. What a great reframe and reshaping of the word intimacy. I truly resonated with that. That was really powerful. What do you see when you look inwards?

Do you see hope?

Do you see joy? What are the potentials you see for yourself? What do you see for your life? What do you see for your growth? What do you see for the people around you?

Into me, I see intimacy. So powerful and just. Last but not least, the pathway to leadership is through service. Leave your ego at the door. Matt Brown, that was amazing. Those words, the way you said it, really powerful. I'll repeat it. The pathway to leadership is through service. Leave your ego at the door.

And believe you me, we've all got egos, right? You have ego, I have ego. It's up to us to not be attached to that ego and be more than that. We are not our ego. And she is not your rehab. Great book. Great insights from Matt on the podcast. But please do go and buy the book. She is not your rehab is the book. His story is moving. I felt very emotional reading the book. Like, when I seen Matt after reading the book, I gave him the longest hug in the world. Like, he's been through so much, but he comes out the other end and he's doing such incredible things for humanity, for his community, for his family. What a human. So, folks, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.