Performance Psychologist Jonah Oliver Recap: #1 way to deal with pressure

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book, Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life, nail your goals. I'll see you there. You will know that I absolutely geek out on what it takes to perform under pressure. That's right. When the going gets tough, how do those people who thrive under pressure, how do they do it? How do they think? Well, look, in our last episode, we had the most incredible interview with Jonah Oliver. Jonah is one of Australia's best performance psychologists. He has worked with some of the world's top professional golfers, Olympic athletes, professional soccer team surgeons, indigenous performing artists, and endurance triathlons athletes. He is passionate about helping people fulfill their potential on the biggest stage. He really values mastery, curiosity and playfulness. And he makes sure to bring these into his work. You know, a few months ago, I was fortunate enough to stand alongside Jonah in Brisbane. We were invited to offer keynote speeches at an event. And just listening to him, everything that he said really resonated around how we operate when things get tough. And, and that could be on field, that could be off field, that could be in the boardroom, could be on the sports field, it could be in the bedroom, could be. No matter where it is, we all have pressure and we all respond and deal with it differently. So I wanted to share just a few recaps for you, and I love you to write these down. There's just way too many amazing things in that last episode for me to share, but I'm going to share a few and I will encourage you to go back and listen to it. It was truly tremendous. And as someone who runs the Canterbury Rugby mental skills program, I'm always on the lookout for new ideas, always on the lookout for what's that extra 1%. And I really feel that we're never at a destination, we're never at it. Yep, I've got the formula. Let's press stop. That's all we need to do ever. No, I really firmly believe that we've got to be growing, being curious, asking questions. So as somebody who runs that mental skills program, I learned a lot from just this conversation with Jonah. And I know it will not be the last conversation I've had with Jonah. So here we go. Jonah said, pressure is made up of internal and external things. So the internal, you've got your doubts, you've got your personal expectations, you've got your maybe time on the clock. And then external, other people's expectations. External is the media, external is family, external is results. And pressure is made up of a combination of both of those things. And so if you're feeling pressure right now, is it more so external or internal? Where are you feeling the pressure? And he also just highlighted that every single person interprets the same situation differently. So we could see an accident unfold, both you and I, looking at it, but you would see it slightly differently than I did. I might see that another car accelerated at the end. No, I think they. They were pumping the brake or they steered into the other vehicle. No, I think they steered away. You know what? They were definitely speeding. You know what? Now I think I'm pretty confident they were going underneath the speed limit. Look, we all interpret things differently. And again, that could be professionally as well. Now, you know, the way you presented that, I'm really not confident that you did our brand justice. And you might go, actually, I did our brand justice because I presented it like this and we talked about this. So there's so many gray areas in terms of situations and how we actually interpret them. Here was a big one. I'd love you to write this down. Pressure is a privilege. Yeah, you heard that right. Pressure is a privilege. Often it's a byproduct of doing something really well. If you want to reach certain heights, you need to expect pressure to show up. If you want to be bif. For those that listen, often you'll know that's best in field. If you want to be bif, you better be ready to embrace pressure. And pressure is a privilege. It's a sign that you've got talent. It's a sign that you care. It's a sign that you're capable. So next time it shows up for you, just say, this is such a privilege that I get to experience this pressure. Could be the pressure of speaking in public. Could be the pressure of putting together a large tender. Could be the pressure of asking someone out on that first date. Right. Pressure is a privilege. And when you reframe it like that, it has such a different impact on your psychology. Hugely different. Jonas said we need to accept pressure and anxiety as the price of entry. We need to normalize it, to begin to work through it and confront it. Sit with it and let it be there. That was really, really striking for me when I heard that from Jonah. We need to accept it and that, you know, pressure and anxiety is a price of entry. If we want to compete, if we want to do well in life, personally, relationally, financially, academically, professionally, whatever area it is for you, you've got to accept that. The price of entry to that is experiencing pressure and anxiety, but normalizing it rather than diminishing it. I really feel that for a long time, performance psychology was all around, how do we get rid of our anxiety, how do we get rid of pressure? But here the concept is, no, how do we sit with it, let it be there, and actually build capacity for it. Jonah says, don't try to reduce stress and pressure. Try to build capacity to embrace more of it. Don't shy away from the cold shower. Step into it. Don't shy away from stepping up on stage. Step into it. I recently did a large tour of New Zealand with the High Performance Leadership Program, taking it to corporate company and all of their clients and, sorry, all of their team members and one individual got up on stage to join me. I asked for a volunteer, and he did it three more times that day. And I bumped into him in the hallway afterwards, and he said, you know what? I've had a massive, massive fear of public speaking. I said, wow, I wouldn't have known. He said, yeah, but today I wanted to step into it. And to me, that's you accepting the pressure, accepting the nerves, and just stepping in. Anyway.

So Jonah said, what will people say about you at your funeral? What are your values and behaviors? And really, your values are behaviors. Being the best version of ourselves is hard. What do you want people to say at your funeral? You're loving, caring, thoughtful, present.

Giving, intelligent, family, focused, charitable, industrious, innovative. How do you want people to speak about you there? Because that will dictate your values, and those values will dictate the behavior. If you know your value is mastery, then you know your behaviors are going to be constant curiosity, constant desire for growth and learning. What are people going to say at your funeral? Jonah said, the worst thing in life is regret. And we all get a point in our lives where we experience regret. For those that haven't read it, please go and get Bronnie Ware's book, the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. Absolutely fascinating. So those were just some small takeaways. The episode itself was absolutely golden. So if you want to embrace anxiety and pressure and perform throughout your life, please go and listen to that full episode. With Jonah Oliver. But for now, please get out there and lead your life on purpose.

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