Psychology Secrets of the Ultra-Successful

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life nail your goals. I'll see you there. Welcome to Lead On Purpose. I'm James Laughlin, former seven time world champion musician and now executive coach to global leaders and high performers. Each week I'll publish a solo cast where I'll share my top high performance habits and methodologies to supercharge your life and career. If you enjoy the show, please take a short moment to subscribe and leave a rating and review. I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to connect today and investing in yourself. Enjoy the show.

The Lead On Purpose podcast is made possible by our generous sponsor, NZ Mortgages. You can check them out at NZMortgages Co NZ. Would you like to know the secrets behind the most influential people on the planet today? Well, I'm very fortunate that I get to sit down each and every week, sometimes multiple times a week, with presidents, prime ministers, Formula One team leaders, Fortune 500 CEOs, people that are doing crazy things, cool things, interesting things. But I get to sit down with them on air, off air, I really get to understand who the person is. So what I'm going to share with you are the three consistent secrets that people who influence others really embrace. And the opposite is also true. People who lack these three core skills, they lack influence. They have to push hard. They have to run big campaigns and use paid marketing and so forth to get their message across to the people that matter most. Not to say that paid marketing is bad if you're in that game, but there's a lot of organic, authentic influence that we can have on others and with others if we follow these three tried and tested traits. Now, to date, I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of the world's top leaders of companies, countries, organizations, right from governmental to sporting to business. And I'm always looking for patterns. What are these patterns, these trends? So today I wanted to share with you what these trends and patterns are. A huge thank you for listening to Lead On Purpose. One small favor to ask of you, and that is this. Please share this one episode with one Friend, a family member, a colleague, Someone who you think might enjoy this episode. I have no clue how algorithms work, but what I do know is that when a real human recommends something to another real human, it lands. So please do me that huge favor and share this one episode. I deeply appreciate it. Okay, so let's get into it. What are the three things that we need to do to be more influential from an organic, authentic point of view? We're not talking about persuasion. We're not talking about manipulation. These are the things I've learned and I've tried to work on myself. Some of them come naturally, some of them don't. And I believe these things will really make a difference. And certainly I've seen that in my own life. I've been trying them for years. I keep taking notes. I keep testing them against new leaders that I meet. So, number one, the people who I see that are most authentic, most consistent, are the ones who embrace the big C consistency. They are the ones that understand being the same on air, off air, before record, after record, consistent with their message. They know that that is truly important. So when you want to have influence with others, it's important that they know who they're dealing with. They know what they're going to get. Do you ever remember working for a boss who was calm, cool, chill, and then every now and then would have an explosion, and you never knew when it was coming or would get cutting or.

Really, really mean? I think we've all had a boss at some point who was pretty unpredictable. Those types of leaders don't have any influence. Those types of partner in a relationship have less influence, have less connection. But when there's consistency, there's safety. People feel safe when there's consistent leadership, consistent communication, consistent message. But when leaders that I've sat down with that are inconsistent for me, I always question their integrity. I can see them playing up to cameras. Their body language changes, their intonation changes, tonality. So the ones that I respect the most and I think will stay in the game the longest and have the biggest profound impact on their communities, businesses, and even countries are those that are consistent with their message, consistent with their behavior, consistent with how they treat other people, particularly behind the scenes when things go unseen. So just ask yourself, you know, am I consistent in what I do and am I consistent in my message? Am I consistent in my beliefs? Look, I'll be honest. I'm still working on consistency. Sometimes I catch myself out going, oh, no. But I don't stand for that. Why did I accept that It's a constant work on. Okay, number two. So the leaders that I've met that have the most influence over other people are the ones that are the most curious. They ask questions, they are humble. They don't feel like they have to know it all. They don't feel like they're the only ones that can do the hard jobs and answer the hard questions and everybody else does the easy stuff. No, they're the ones that genuinely are curious and want to know and don't come from a place of I got all the answers, I'm the leader. Listen up. People can see through that. People can feel that energetically. When leaders are lacking in curiosity who know all the answers, nobody loves to know it all. Remember back in school, I don't know about you, but the kid who knew all the answers. Oh God. Was pretty not fun to be around them. And for them it was pretty unfun because they didn't have a lot of friends. Know it alls drive people away. They don't influence others. The only influence they have is to influence them to move away at speed. So if you want to genuinely have deeper connection with relationships, deeper influence on other people, maybe professionally, I would say the key thing, certainly from my experience, is be more curious. Whenever I've been shut off to learning, when I've come up with a decision and a rhetoric and I stuck by it, it's never served me well. It's never felt good. I've always came away feeling like, oh, I didn't give that person a chance, or I judge that thing, or no, that thing looks unfamiliar. I don't like it.

To me, that's not leadership, that's not influenced. Being curious is so important. And for those that I've worked with, some of you I know came to some of my events and so forth, I always share that. My three values, mastery, curiosity, and connection. The reason curiosity is in there is because I'm not always naturally curious. I have to remind myself to be curious and not feel like everything that I know is set in stone. Everything can change, everything can move. I can learn more. So curiosity, that's the second one. So the first was consistency. Second was curiosity. Those leaders that are the most influential, that have the best relationships, the most influential expression over other people with other people. They're curious and they're consistent. Now, last but not least, you're probably thinking, but why is there only three? Well, I've only seen these three consistently show up in the people that I admire the most, that genuinely have the most influence. Some of them, that reflects in their 4 or 5 million followers. Others, the fact that they run countries. Others, they've got the best results with large teams in business consistently over years. These are the three things that show up. You're going to be surprised. Maybe some of you won't, but you're going to be surprised by this last one. It was interesting. I was once sitting with Richie McCaw and some of you who are not from New Zealand may be unfamiliar with that name, but he was a former captain of our world champion rugby team, the All Blacks. And I asked him a question around fatherhood and I said, what's the one value that you and your wife want to impart on your child at this stage? You just had one child. And he said, actually, Jim and I have chatted about this recently and the one value that we value the most, that we'd love our kids to embrace and to go out into the world with, is kindness. Being kind. I thought that was beautiful coming from such a competitive, driven athlete and his wife. Also, I was, you know, probably expecting something around excellence, drive, passion. But kindness came out and I was just so impressed and so connected with that. This world needs more kindness. Being mean has a cost. Kindness is free. Kindness makes other people feel valued, seen, heard, loved, appreciated. Be kind. The people I've had the pleasure of interviewing, coaching, working with, developing leadership and high performance within their teams, the ones I've enjoyed the most and that I remember, that I still connect with, are the ones that are the most kind. The ones I see treating their new staff that have just joined with absolute dignity, respect, giving them a voice. They're the ones who, when we go for lunch and we're doing maybe a half day training or, you know, before we record, we go for a coffee in the in sense of a podcast that guest. Those are the ones I see look at the, the waiter, the server with respect and greet them and say please and thank you genuinely. Those are the people that have the most influence over me. Those are the people I want to help. Those are the people I want to go the extra mile to help with their campaign, their mission, whatever they're doing in their life. The people who beat their chests, who talk about how much money they've got, I don't want to be around them. Good on them for having all the money. But when that becomes the central focus for the conversation and how they treat others, and that's not cool, it's not attractive, and it's not influential. Most influential people are consistent, curious and kind. So I just want to share that with you in terms of my experiences with others. I hope it served you today. And please get out there and lead your life on purpose. The Lead On Purpose podcast is made possible by our generous sponsor, NZ Mortgages. You can check them out at NZMortgages Co NZ. Thanks for tuning in today and investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button and I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks and leaders, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.