Sir John Kirwan Recap: 6 Pillars for Daily Mental Health

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life nail your goals. I'll see you there. He's a former All Black rugby star, a former rugby union coach, and one of New Zealand's leading mental health advocates. None other than Sir John Kirwan. In our last episode we had the most incredible interview with Sir John. He has authored two books on the subject of mental health and has spoken openly about his battles with depression and has been honored for his services to mental health. He established the Sir John Kirwan foundation to help young people understand mental health. He has also co founded a workplace well being platform with tech entrepreneur Adam Clark and it's called Groove. Groove with no e on the end. Groove is being used by leading workplaces across New Zealand and Australia, including DB breweries, Kiwibank, Barfoot and Thompson, and the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons. Look, the episode is definitely one for the books. John was so open, honest and vulnerable and personally I learned a lot from him. So I want to share some of the key takeaways, just a few really high level takeaways that I really feel could help you or help someone in your life. And before I do that, I just want to say that recently I made the decision to press pause on all adverts and promotions within the podcast. I wanted to really enhance your listening experience and when I first started the podcast it was just me. Now we have a team of four working on the podcast and if you would like to continue helping me bring in incredible guests so you get to hear from the world's best, I'm going to ask you to do a quick favor for me. Please take a moment to share this episode with three people. If you can do that, that will help because when I get in front of more people it allows me to appear in the charts. And thank you so much for helping me appear in the charts all over the world. But. But if you can just share it with three people that might enjoy the podcast, say hey, check out Lead on purpose. Here's the link that allows me to keep growing and allows me to keep going and approaching these incredible world class people. So if you could do that, I would sincerely appreciate it. And while you're at it, please ensure that you've subscribed to the podcast on Spotify or Apple, depending on where you listen. I sincerely appreciate your support. So, first big takeaway. John is really passionate about advocating for mental health because there was a day that he wanted to jump out of a window and kill himself. He was hiding anxiety and depression and it got worse with the limelight of being a rugby star, a New Zealand rugby star, an all black. He mentioned how hard it is when you're living in that hell. He said, a minute feels like an hour, and an hour feels like a day, and a day feels like a week. It was absolutely exhausting, he said. But luckily a friend of his stopped him as he was about to jump and said, jk, you have a good heart, man. And that's all it took. That's what stopped him, that changed his life. So please, I guess my big takeaway from this is please don't look at someone and go, wow, they've got it all together. Their life is perfect. They have no challenges. You simply don't know what somebody else is going through. But it's amazing. If you can be a person to help someone else to say the thing that helps shape or reshape their belief about themselves, it could be the difference that makes the difference between them living another day. So I want you to think for a moment, who's that person in your life that you want to just reach out to right now? Lift the phone, send them the text, give them a call right after this. Who's that person that just needs you to show up for them today? Who Might it be?

J.K. said he went to the doctor and mentioned he was depressed and his doctor said to him, hey, it's an illness, not a weakness. JK said that really changed things for him and his perspective on the whole situation. He says he had this block towards going to therapy and you know, I think a lot of people do have that fear of going to therapy and yet we'll happily go to the doctor for our physical health physios for our bodies. So what's the difference? It's these stereotypes that people place on people who have mental health challenges and that truly is what needs to change in society. I really think people need to feel as though they can reach out for help and not feel any shame about it. We need to learn the difference between being mentally unwell and going through times of periodic unwellness. JK said only 4% of the population are born with mental health problems like bipolar, et cetera. The rest of us simply go through times where when our mental health struggles. Another big takeaway, he said, it's funny how you can be in a room of 200 people, yet feel incredibly lonely. Has that ever happened for you when you're around a lot of people, yet you feel like you're an island? Certainly for me, I've had moments like that where I ask myself, what am I doing here? I don't belong here. Certainly that imposter syndrome has kicked in. But also times, maybe when it's been tough, the passing of a loved one, sitting amongst society during those times feel very disconnected. But it was interesting that JK brought that up. He also reinforced that in New Zealand, which is where we're best, we have one of the highest suicide rates in the oecd, with one of the highest teenage suicide rates, too. And he said, what you see on the outside doesn't always reflect what is going on in the inside. So I just want to ask you for a moment. I've got your attention, I've got your ear. Just for a second. What's going on for you? Where are you today? How are you doing today? Take a moment and think, how AM I today?

0 to 10, 0, deflated, 10, elated? Where do you sit? How does that feel? If you're at a seven or a six or two, how does that feel? How would you describe that?

And where would you like to be? Would you like to be 1 number higher, 2 numbers higher? What would that look like? And what might you need to do or who might you need to talk to to move towards that? And it might take you a day or a week or a month or longer, but what needs to happen for you to move towards more joy? None of us can be a 10 every day. Even the most positive people in the world are never a 10 every day. So I just want you to think about that. Where are you? Where would you like to be and what needs to happen? Do you need more grace? Do you need more space? Do you need to reach out to someone?

So another big takeaway. He said we all need to build mental health skills to be able to live our lives with all the craziness that's going on in the world. Our email inbox is almost never empty and it keeps piling up. This means that we never feel like we have completed a day of work. We never get to an end point. It means that we need to learn to compartmentalize so that we can actually leave work, leave it there, not take it home.

It's really important that we create those boundaries because an email inbox is never ending.

Big takeaway, Please write this one down. Greatness is actually getting out of your own way. So if you want to be great, be your best self, get out of your own way. And often that means doing the work on self, asking the inner questions, reflecting, journaling, having simple practices of gratitude. John talked about coffee. The morning coffee is something he truly cherishes and looks forward to. And a hot shower. What is it for you? What do you love? What's the thing that you just look forward to each morning? What's that one thing that gets you going that you're deeply grateful for? Is it hugging a loved one? Is it walking in nature? Is it seeing an animal? Is it going to work because it feels purposeful? What might it be? Look, in the episode, John shares with us his daily mental health plan. There's six pillars, so I'd love you to go and listen to that. If you haven't listened to it, please go and listen to that. He shares so much like, I'm just at the tip of the iceberg here with what I'm sharing. But one last takeaway is this. This is JK's mantra. He said this, James, every day I say, I intend to be great today. What an amazing intention, right? I intend to be great today. So with that, I'm going to leave you with that. And I know that you intend to be great today. So please get out there and lead your life on purpose.

Thanks for tuning in today and investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button and I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks and leaders, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.