Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work: Blue Monday Explained & 3 Tools to Achieve Your Goals

I'd like to ship you a free copy of my book Habits of High Performers. If you come and join the 2026 goal setting workshop, I will ship you one of these today. The link is in the notes. Please come and join me to set up the very best 2026 you could imagine. If you've set up goals in the past or New Year's resolutions and they haven't substantiated, I'm here to help you across all the key pillars of your life nail your goals. I'll see you there.

Welcome to Lead On Purpose. I'm James Laughlin, former seven time world champion musician and now executive coach to global leaders and high performers. Each week I'll publish a solo cast where I'll share my top high performance habits and methodologies to supercharge your life and career. If you enjoy the show, please take a short moment to subscribe and leave a rating and review. I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to connect today and and investing in yourself. Enjoy the show. A very special thanks to NZ Mortgages for sponsoring this episode of the Lead On Purpose podcast. You can check them out @nzmortgages co nz would you like to know how to not set yourself up for failure in 2025? Well, I'm here to share that with you because New Year's resolutions do not work. They are something that has been given to us as an example of how not to set up successful goals. Why? Because about 9% of people actually stick to them, follow through and get the outcomes. If I look at the odds, you and I are probably not going to be one of the 9%, but that's a very small percentage of the population. So how do we increase our odds? Well, I'm about to share three things you must do. Please do these things at the start of the year. If you didn't do it in January 1st, who cares? That's okay. Today's a great day to do it. Whether you're sitting listening to this live as it's came out or you're listening to it in February, March, April, May, it doesn't matter. Plan Please do these three things. Answer these three questions. I went into detail. I had hundreds of people who joined me for a goal setting masterclass on 2 January, and these three questions come from that class. But there's other a couple of other things in there that I won't share today that I would like to gift you. So if you would like to get access to that free masterclass, please go to the link in the description and you can go and check out the full masterclass where I take you for a full hour and deep dive on high performers set high performance goals that change their lives, their wealth, their health, their relationships. So please go get that. It's free, it's in the link in descriptions. But for now, let's get started with these three questions. I want you to think about them. I would like you to journal on them. Whether that journal is written, whether it's on your phone, whether it's audio, it's up to you. But actually take the time to answer these three questions. Question number one. Over the last 12 months, what went well? Seems like such a simple question, right? Humans tend to want to not sit still and reflect. Why? It's uncomfortable. It takes time. We are so distracted. Now more than ever we are focused on the algorithms pumping us the next best video to distract us. Many of us are doom scrolling, spending 10, 20, 30 plus minutes a day on rubbish. Some of the top shows on the planet are focused on catastrophe and annihilation and all the sensationalist stuff that draws us in. And yes, I get trapped from time to time too. I'm not that person. I'm here to help equip you to make your life the best possible it can be. I want to share tools with you that I share with my clients. You know, I had a client recently I was working with who really wanted to break the million dollar club. So you know, for me as a young guy, like I was 18, 19, the thought of making a million dollars, that's ridiculous. I would be happy to have made 40,000 or 50,000. Now I can see how almost easy it is to reach those financial goals. Why? It's understanding the marketplace, it's understanding goal setting and it's understanding consistent habits. So he came to me and said, look, I want to do it. I've never done it before. And what I'm about to share with you is what helped him do that in under 18 months. Now, whether it's money for you, whether it's health, it really doesn't matter. This process, my high performance framework, works across the board. I was 18, I was on minimum wage, working at a restaurant, serving that. I enjoy it. Yeah, for the most part. I love people that met those needs. But it wasn't paying well. My habits were atrocious. I was drinking heavily and I always thought minimum wage was kind of like where I'd be. And I was looking forward to those minimum wages rising once a year so I could get an extra 20 pennies. I was in the UK, so 20p wasn't much. Right. But I read one book and this book transformed my life. And this book got me to think about, well, what is the market? Where do you sit in the market? How do you add value to the market? It has truly probably 100 or a thousand X my income just reading that book, taking the action and moving forward. And of course, the book didn't answer all of my problems. I had to figure other things out. And that's where my Hive Performance framework comes in. It's all the things that I have used that have really helped that we're missing in, say, one or two of the other frameworks. This one has helped, and it's just so great seeing it work for others, people who just want to do better, people who want more. And I don't know about you, but I want to be better. I want to be better today than I was yesterday. I want to grow, I want to learn. That's like one of the biggest things for me is how do I learn? Because it brings me more freedom. Freedom to do what I want, when I want, with who I want. We all want that, right? So what went well in the last 12 months? If you're going, I don't know, James, take a moment, get your phone out and look through the last 12 months, put in your phone album, your photo album, and go 2024. Type that in the search. It'll come up with all of your photos and videos from 2024. Now, if there's only two or 300 photos, maybe you need to take a few more photos. Maybe you need to capture some of these magic moments. And look, I know the phone can be distracting, holding it up right now, but also it can capture magic moments. And I think it's important that we do take the time to capture those moments so that we can reflect and be grateful. So go back, take a minute and go back and look at those photos. And if you're driving, don't do that right now, but think back to what happened in January and February and March. Look, I got to the end of the year and went. I don't really know, it was big year, but. And then I went back and did this. I was like, my God. Went to Laser Strike with Finn, like, so many times. Walked the dogs hundreds of times with my partner, Caroline. And Finn, we went to as a family, we went to Fiji and an amazing time there, meeting different people with different culture and just loving it. Going to Brisbane as a family. And then I went to the UK and Ireland to speak. And then Caroline and I went to California and Arizona for an event. So it was like, wow, there were some big moments and there was lots of little moments. Photos of my dogs, photos of birthdays, celebrations. I had so much that I could be grateful for in terms of what went well. So what went well for you this year? Once you've answered that. Next question. Question number two of three that I'm going to share with you that are just so important if you want to not be part of the New Year's Resolutions Club. Because those who are part of the New Year's Resolutions Club, well, on Blue Monday, that's the third Monday in January, the majority of them have given up on their goals or they're half assing them or they're getting their 20% and doing it every now and then. That crap doesn't work. That doesn't serve us. I've been there so many times. The gym membership that I never used, the, you know, the new weights that I bought at home to use that the dust never really came off the new course that I signed up for that I never completed. Right. I'm not about that. I'm about going, how do we rewire our minds so that we follow through on the things that will help us be more successful, be more financially free, be happier, be more connected to what matters most? So second question. What didn't go so well over the last 12 months? What didn't go so well? Look, life is tough at times. It's meant to be tough. If we're avoiding the tough stuff, we're not living life and it's going to catch us at some point. Let's face it, this is a finite game. If anybody tell you that this is an infinite game, they're talking nonsense. You and I will get to a point when our lives finish that will be a sad moment for many around us. But that's what we signed up for. We arrived and we must leave. So while we're here, let's have a hell of a lot of fun. Let's make the most of it. Let's be free to make choices for our loved ones and ourselves and our teams that requires us to look back and go, what didn't go so well in this past year for me, there was a number of things. I had a business product that I developed that flopped. Why? I was excited about it. I thought everyone needed it, but they didn't. They spoke, they didn't need it cost me time, cost me money, but I ditched it, moved on very quickly. So that didn't go so well. On a more personal note, I lost two friends in the last 12 months to suicide. Very tough. I'm never going to go and go, that's fine, let's move forward. No, that's always going to be sad. That's always going to be tough. One was a former drumming student, 18 years of age. The other was a dear friend at 50 years of age with a beautiful family, incredible career. Very sad. That didn't go so well. What else didn't go so well this year? The start of the year was tough. You know, I had no idea about this lump in my pec, what it meant. I've got a family history of breast cancer. So I spent the first half of the year trying to figure out the answers and in the end had to fly to Los Angeles to find out. Couldn't get it done in New Zealand. They weren't willing to give me what I needed in terms of a full body mri. I had to travel to do that. Now, I'll tell you what, I am so damn grateful that I had the freedom financially to be able to do that. And I know that not everyone can do that, so I'm deeply grateful for that. And that's where I'm saying to you, like growing and adding more value and making more money, and those are important things because they give us options to help ourselves, our families and others. So you know that that's a didn't go so well at the start of the year and went a bit better towards halfway through the year. What was it for you? What didn't go so well in the last 12 months? Financially, spiritually, relationship? E what didn't go so well for you? Did you have any injuries? Maybe. Maybe you lost something or someone or you had to sell an investment to keep up with all the craziness that the world threw at you. What was it? I'm about to share the last and arguably the most important of these three questions with you, but before I do that, please forward this episode to someone else who's ambitious, someone else who's driven, someone else who really wants to grow, become more free financially, become stronger, spiritually, become the best version of themselves. And of course, if you want the full free masterclass available right now, go in the link. You can get a little insight to that. It's a 60 minute deep dive masterclass that I did on January 2nd, but you can watch it anytime in the year and I promise you it will make a World of Difference. It's the exact framework that I shared with hundreds of others who joined me that day. So please, you can go there and grab it. But for now, last question. Listen up and please answer this. Answer this with insight and self awareness. If you do that, I promise you there will be absolute gold that no guru, no mentor, no coach can ever share with you. These are your golden nuggets. Write them down. These are the lessons you'll pass on to the person that you mentor and help or that you parent or that you are a partner with, or that you coach at work or lead at work. Last question. In the last 12 months, what, what did I learn about myself or others? What did I learn about myself or others? What was that that showed up for you? You know, I learned I don't have my journal. I've got this year's journal here with me, but the one that I completed for last year, I just reflect on some of the things I learned about myself. Number one, I don't enjoy doing what I don't enjoy doing. Sounds a bit silly, right? But there's certain things I just don't like. I don't like having to set something up that has technical backend software stuff. If it's got 57 moving parts and things, you got to click and link and go to this URL. I don't like that, that causes me frustration. I procrastinate on that stuff. Tax returns, I don't like doing that stuff. That's why I've got an accountant and he makes it as easy as possible. And of course the amazing software Xero makes my life easy. And no, Xero do not sponsor the show yet. But that's just a free shout out for them because it is an amazing software. What else did I learn about myself that I am in a. That I radically seek clarity. I need to be clear on things. I need to know whether this is moving ahead or stopping. I need to know if, if it's going to be a disaster. I need to know if it's yes or no. I'm just that kind of person. I need to like, let's figure it out and let's move. Let's get the answer and let's move. And that's a good thing and that's a bad thing, you know. So that's a, it's a big, big insight for me to go, okay, I need to work on that. I need to maintain that as well because it's very useful. I get stuff done, I move forward, I achieve. But also I can be a bit impatient, you, even with myself and those closest to me. So it's going, take a breath, slow down, it's going to be okay. What have you learned about yourself? What are some of the things that you've learned? That maybe you're a follow through or that you've got conviction, that you are so driven to be more. Maybe you've learned that you procrastinate a bit like me at times. Maybe you learn that you overestimate what you can do in a month and you underestimate what you can do in a year. What are those things you've learned about yourself? And on the flip side, what are those things you've learned about others, other people around you? You know, I was reflecting what I've learned about others and I learned that everyone that I know around me is striving. They're strivers, they're striving for more, striving for growth, striving for a little bit extra, striving for freedom. I've learned that the majority of humans, we strive and there's a small amount maybe who don't, who give up, who are just fed up with it all. That's not a place I ever want to go to. And I think having goals, having meaningful, purposeful goals to move towards, that is the difference that makes the difference. It gives us something to wake up for, gives us a reason to perform and add value and seek to learn. I don't know what your values are, but please figure that out. Figure out what your values are. Maybe that's another episode I should do in the coming weeks. But you know, I'm very clear. Freedom is my number one value at this stage of my life. Freedom. Freedom of finance, freedom of choice, freedom to be where I want to be geographically. Freedom to do the work I want, Freedom to choose which clients I take on board. Like freedom is everything followed by mastery. You know, I feel like I'm a learner in everything that I do. I'm not the finished product. I don't know it all. I'm a learn it all. Like, tell me more, I want to know more. And that leads me to my last value. And that's curiosity. Like just asking questions, being curious of those around me, loved ones, clients, colleagues, people I'm interviewing for the show, the Mod. Anyway, I wanted to share those three questions. I want to help you set up an incredible year ahead. I don't want you to become part of the New Year's Resolutions Victim Club. Get out there and lead your life on purpose by making sure that you really approach goal setting in a systematic way with a formula and a framework that works. If you want that full deep dive goal setting masterclass I did on January 2, please go in to the show notes, grab it and you will enjoy it. But for now, please get out there and lead your life on purpose. A very special thanks to NZ Mortgages for sponsoring this episode of the Lead on Purpose podcast. You can check them out @nzmortgages.co nz. Thanks for tuning in today and investing in your own personal leadership. Please hit that subscribe button and I'd love if you'd leave me a rating and review. I've got some amazing guests lined up for you in the coming weeks and leaders, it's that time to get out there and lead your life on purpose.