Exit The Matrix with Me Experiment: Guest: ETM With Me: Alena Uzhnyeva From Powerhouse to Paradise: Tantra, Wealth, and Breaking Free

company. It was a corporate business. And imagine a girl, 20 years old, starting to work in the field where 95% were men. And like, in reality, it was the thing from the childhood that I need to be the best, I need to be the perfect, I need to be a good girl, I need to prove. And there were a lot of other limiting beliefs that, let's say, at that time, controlled my life and I had a lot of ego and I was more in my masculine. So I was traveling around the world, more than 50 countries. I've had like negotiations with the biggest owners of the companies, like fishing companies, fishing vessels. Like I was doing contracts for millions of dollars. I was importing like huge vessels, 5,000-6,000 metric tons to Ukraine, like 8-10 vessels per year. And I was going to different exhibitions. So I the one in front of the company doing all the negotiations. And I had a beautiful life.

Stop for you there for a moment. You said like as a child you had to be the good girl and perfect and, you know, performer and do best. Was that because your parents drove you to do that? Like we, when you got to this kind of elevated position and obviously being seen internationally, did they go, oh, you know, that's our girl. Like, you know, what was it like growing up? Were you kind of forced into that, or do you take on that role yourself?

I, like, I was, uh, I was raised in the military family, and my, uh, let's say my father, my grandfather, my mother, they were raising me like a soldier Jane Slack-Smith. Yeah, you know, I was more like a boy than a girl. And yeah, and all these things make me, um, I didn't get enough attention and love during childhood because my parents were working all the time. So by doing the things in a good way, by achieving, bringing all these goals, etc., I was getting more attention. And yeah, for sure, they were telling, okay, this is our girl. So I used to this kind of things from childhood. And yeah, the situation was when I was 15, My parents divorced and my father told like, if I don't have a wife, I don't need the kids. And I told to my father like, if you don't need the kids, I don't need the father. And I didn't talk with my father for 15 years.

Wow.

And at that time I had this like, okay, I will prove to the world that I can do it. I can do it by myself. I can achieve it by myself. And imagine me coming when I was 20 in this field with the masculine where you need to prove to the man that you deserve to be there. That you deserve to hold this position, that you deserve to be the face of the company, etc. So it, it, at that time it came from the ego. At that time it was more to prove, to achieve, to show that I can do it so I can get all this attention and all the things.

But generally that attention your father wasn't giving you, that masculine attention that you weren't getting, but you were also doing it despite of him and he kind of was because you had the success, because that drove you. So kind of double-edged sword, right?

Yeah, yeah. And it, and it was crazy and it was unhealthy. And all this thing that I had, like, I call it golden jail, let's say like this. At some point where I was invited to go to the retreat, and this retreat, like, 3 days changed my life. It was the clear message during the retreat that I was selling my soul for money, let's say like this, because really, I really like, with all the success, with all the money, with all the abundance that I had at that time, I was completely disconnected from my feminine nature. I was in my mind, my ego controlled my life. I had the issues with the sleep, I had the issues with the health, and at the same time, all this Success was driving my life, was controlling my life, was pushing me to achieve the next, the next, and the next goal. But every time when I was achieving this goal, instead of the happiness, I felt emptiness. So when I went to this retreat, when I got this message, when I realized like, I'm done, I'm done, I can't continue to do these things anymore, I want to understand who am I, what is like my gift, why God brought me to this life. And like imagine after 3 days I just came back, I signed the papers and I told like guys I'm leaving after 10 years of my like successful career. I've just signed the papers and people look at me like my team, 20 people, the team that I've built, like all the company, the owners, they were like 'What are you doing? Like, are you crazy?' I had like everything— the team, like the house, cars, money, abundance, everything. But even having all these things, like, I didn't feel happy. I didn't feel happy. So for me, it was like a beautiful moment where I connected to my soul, where I got the download, and then I had to do this step of courage, to step into the unknown, to trust that there is something more for me in this life. And yeah, like, I, and I, and I left the company, and I remember that moment, like, I went, I was sitting in the cafe during the day. I could see people during the day, in the working day, and they were passing, and I was sitting like, okay, what, what should I do? Because like the fish business, what I was doing, it was the only thing that I knew, and I was quite successful there, and I Can I just take you back, um, before we get into your next endeavor, the fish business, which is like, it's—

I, I'm dying to hear more about it. But so you've been with this company for 10 years. You've, by that time, you reconciled with your father, but you've proven to yourself and others, and you've created the trappings of success. And success comes, and the next challenge comes, and the next challenge comes, but it's empty. So you go for the next challenge because obviously that wasn't enough. Now you're not sleeping, your health is deteriorating. There's a 3-day event retreat that's changed your life. Was that kind of like out of desperation? Did you have a therapist recommend it? A best friend? It was a flyer on a page? Like, tell me how you got to, oh my God, I'm so successful, but I'm really not happy, to I'm going to do this 3-day retreat.

I can tell you, with all the success, with everything that I had, the only thing what I was like, you know, earning, dreaming about when I was coming back home after like 12 hours work, I was hugging my pillow and I felt like so alone. And like the only thing that I wanted is like someone to be with me, someone to hug me and tell these words, I love you, like simple things, or like spending more time with my family, with the parents, but I was so busy that I didn't have all this. And like one friend of mine, very good friend of mine, and like he also couldn't get enough attention from me because I was too busy. At some point he just called me and like he told like, oh my God, I went to this program, it changed my life, you should be there. So he recommended me and then I like, I got a call with the organizers and it was like, yeah, I need to be there. And I didn't know anything what will be there. It was just this inner knowing I need to be there. And it wasn't like—

Have you done any self-development work or anything outside of like the business kind of development?

Like this was in reality more like self-development retreat and leadership retreat. And yeah, like we did a lot of different exercises, embodiment, and at some point just listening to the stories of other people that were following their truth. And in reality, there was like a circle with inner circle where we were staying and outer circle where other people were representing mother, father. At some point it was a conversation with, let's say, my father. And the moment, like, the person was guiding this exercise and he told, imagine the moment that your father died and you didn't have a chance to say that you love him, that you are so grateful to him and all these other things. And I was staying there and crying, realizing that, oh my God, I didn't talk to my father for 15 years at the time. And like, I'm not happy. I am doing the things just to get the money and to have all the success and to prove. To prove to whom? Like, you know, it was this moment of the connection to my soul and understanding my values. And in reality, family is the biggest value. When I connected to this, when I realized how stupid I was just spending all my life to prove to someone, to get the attention and the love that I didn't get from my father. Yeah, so it was amazing moment for me. And after this, I—

yeah, it's interesting you say that because the number of people I've interviewed who've said that they have gone down a certain path in life with this looking for validation or approval or, you know, congratulations that they had wanted as a child, but that person's now dead and they're still looking and they're like, but wait a second, there's no one here to give me that, even though that they've committed to it, right? It's just like, I do this to get the, the, um, you know, pat on the back, but there is actually no one there to give it to me. And that, that realization that you had is, is, is, it seems to me, the people I speak to, it is a common thread into, wait a second, why am I doing all this?

And I can tell you, after this retreat, I contacted my father. My father didn't know anything about me or what I was doing. So why I was doing it? Like, you know, imagine this limiting beliefs that control all your life, that bring you on this path when you're completely disconnected from your self, just trying to prove to the world, to, to someone. But in reality, it's like you're just spending your time instead of following your dreams, instead of following your heart, instead of following your intuition. You are just in this ego and mind doing, achieving, suffering, struggling, instead of being this creator that lead the life from the heart, that create the impact in this world. So yeah, it was like a big realization for me, and this realization, I think this moment helped me to make this decision. It's enough, I'm done.

So now you're sitting in this cafe, everyone's going to work, they're going, I know the fish business, you know. Did you have like some funds, savings or something that you had the opportunity to just to spend some time in deciding how you're going to spend your time, or you were like, you had to get into a job, or you had some space? Like, where were you financially?

Like, I had financial abundance at that moment, but at the same time, I like, I knew that I want to continue to have like abundant life, beautiful life, where I can continue to travel and live a good life and buy the things that I want. And Uh, I was lucky in reality because like when, uh, suppliers that I was working with, they found out that I left the company, two people just called me. And like, it was maybe a few weeks after I left my job, uh, they called me. And, uh, the guy from, uh, US, it's like the biggest company in US and Canada, uh, from 1941, it's like a huge business, uh, he called me and like, okay, 'Can you do— can you expand the markets for us in Europe and other countries?' And I was like, 'Yeah, sure.' But I've never did it before. Never. Like, you know, I was in my company, I was a chief of purchasing department, but I've never like expanded markets or working with sales or doing the things with European countries. I was just purchasing the fish at that moment. So like I told, 'Yeah, sure.' And like by just saying yes. And I was like, oh my God, what did I do? How I will do it? Like, it was the moment again when it was the answer from my soul. And then I had to find the ways, or let's say, um, my intuition started to guide me with the next steps. And yeah, like, in, uh, in half a year, at some point, like, I've got more suppliers calling me. I was working as a representative for different companies. And then the clients started to ask me, okay, can you find this fish, this supplier, this fish? I told you, yeah, sure, this is what I was doing for 10 years. So at some point I realized like, okay, I should open the company. And then I opened my own company in Estonia. And like, again, without knowing anything about European law, how to do all these things, like how to manage the company, how to sell. Like, I've just opened my own company, and for today I've built it from zero to eight figures, from zero people to a team of 15 people. And last year I got the award from the World Cup Business, like, for one of the best companies in Estonia. So it was like, yeah.

So you just kind of accepted the challenge and courageously and confidently went, well, let's leave it to my intuition for the next obvious step. And opportunities arose with different, um, potential employers, and you just grew. So, so you were, you living in Estonia? Because you're not there now. Like, what was the name?

I was living, I like, at that time I was living in Ukraine, and, uh, in reality I didn't, uh, need to leave in Estonia to, to like to do the business. Like I just went there, opened the company, signed all the papers with the notary, etc. And then I started to travel, right?

Estonia seems easy. When I was there, they're like, did you want a passport? Did you need a European passport? We can help you out. I'm like, I'm good for now, but thanks for asking.

Yeah. And for me, again, because I didn't know anything about European law and I knew that I can't open the company in Ukraine because at that time it was like small war inside the country, etc. So like people would not send money to Ukraine. So I had to find some other ways, and Estonia at that moment was a beautiful possibility to open the company, and it was easy to do it. And yeah, that's why I did it. And again, for me, as I told you, I was raised as a soldier Jane Slack-Smith. So for me, it's like, new goal, new goal. I still had this masculine that wanted to, to prove and to do the things. Because like, again, imagine for all my life I was, uh, making the business, or I was doing all the success from the masculine, from this proving, from this doing mode. And at that time when I've opened the company, it, it's still like, even though I made the decision that I want to do something else, but still I had my past in my baggage, past experiences, past knowledge, past behaviors that At that time, I didn't know how to change it. So for sure, I was using my masculine to do the things and my Soldier Jane was happy to have a new mission to achieve.

Discipline. And so continue on this, when you did the retreat and it changed everything, it seems that you stopped your job, but kind of bought yourself a bigger job with the company. Like, did you continue? What was the revelation there that went, actually, this is not how it should be? Like Soldier Jane can stand out.

Yeah, and then, like, as I told you, I've started to— when I've opened my company and I've started, like, to get even more money and abundance, I started to travel around the world. And then I got the invitation from my friends, like, to go to Bali. So I went to Bali and I came there before COVID I was planning to spend just 3 months, but I stuck for COVID. And I can tell you, it was the best, best time ever in my life. And I came to Tantra retreat during COVID with Indian master and it was again 4 days retreat, brought a huge insight like I'm a woman, I have all these emotions, sensations and the God brought me as a woman to this world, let's say like this. And this because it was COVID, because everything was closed, we couldn't travel to Ukraine and this new wisdom came, or spiritual path came to my life, and it was so interesting. Because imagine me as a woman pursuing all my dreams in a masculine, and now I was introduced to Tantra, completely different path of the consciousness, of awareness, feminine energy, gratitude energy, like A lot of things started to shift in my body, a lot of energy started to flow through my body, and like again, all these emotions came, all the emotions that were stuck in my body for all my life that I was suppressing, all the anger, all the frustration, everything just came to the surface, and I had to like to move through all of these things, to transform all this energy, to release all these things, and yeah, like I did lot of healing work. And at some point when I was meditating after vipassana, like, I started to get the, the loads from the universe and the guidance, and someone was talking through me and sending me the messages. And, uh, it was about women's circles. I started to create the circle, women's circles for women, but I was, I wasn't facilitating. I was inviting different teachers Then I started to organize the retreats for women. Then I started to organize the festivals, events. But for me, organizing all these events for women, spending time with the women, with the facilitators, doing all these women's circles, like, it was the exploration of my feminine nature, of all this heart, mind, and body coherence. Of the, uh, consciousness and following the higher self guidance of the connection to the heart. How I can attract, manifest the dreams and things into my life instead of constantly doing or achieving from this masculine. How I can invite the things into my life. So it was a beautiful exploration of completely different dimension of their reality and the things that were opened for me. And I realized, and I could see that when I tapped into my intuition, when I was following my dreams, when I was doing the things from my heart, I could see that the whole universe was supporting me. Like, you know, it was like I started to live the life of miracles. Like, universe were just giving me the things that I wanted. So yeah, it was completely different thing compared to soldier Jane doing the things, achieving the goals, feeling empty. I felt so beautifully nourished from doing the things, organizing the spaces for people where they could tap to their potential, where they could connect to their inner power, where they can awaken their soul, where they can create this heart, mind, and body coherence. And I, I was getting so much energy, so much nourishment. I felt completely different compared to when I was achieving the goals and getting the money and feeling this emptiness inside. It was completely different feeling.

Okay, so I've got a novice question for you. So you talk about Tantra, the Tantra retreat. So in my mind, I've always thought Tantra, tantric, it's some kind of sexual practice. And like, it's an Indian, like, all I'm seeing is Kamasutra, it's like 15 positions. You have to— is that what it is, or is it something different? I'm listening to you going, oh, okay, so Jane Slack-Smith kind of likes this, but like, am I committing now to like doing some weird sexual orientation? Like, so tell— take me through it. Because it's like, this is like, it's, um, this meeting of the masculine, the action taker, which we all need. And I, I believe that, you know, the, the rigor of schooling system that teaches you, you know, we, we reward the people who get the best mark or win the races. They get the awards or the acknowledgments. It, it does put us against each other. Like, it gives us an orientation of competition and success and, and, um, you know, recognition for achievement. Whereas the feminine energy, you know, the intuition and the beauty and the observation and the letting be, it's a completely different energy that we never learn. So tell me about the retreat and what— is it sexual or is it like not?

This is like exactly when my friend— again, I, I always have amazing friends that tell me about different things. So my friend told me like there is a Tantra event, and I was like, me, Tantra? Like all this, exactly the same. This is what I knew about Tantra, Kamasutra, sexual poses. And for me, like again, uh, because I was raised as more like a boy in this military family, I had so much shame about sexuality because even when I was 15, I remember my grandmother was covering me when we were watching TV and we were watching when people were kissing. So sex, it was the topic that we would not discuss. And at schools, nobody teaches. So the only thing that we could learn is porn, Kamasutra. And all other things, but we didn't get this knowledge about the healthy sexuality, about sex. And in reality, we were all born through this beautiful sacred act. So when my friend told me about Tantra, I was like, no. And you know, this fear came inside, these emotions came inside. And when I have this kind of emotions and fear going, uh, through my body, it's like the moment for me, this is something for you, this is for your evolution, this is for your growth.

And I know this, the tension and the conflict for you is a signpost that says do not shy away from this, this is something you need to embrace for the next stage of your evolution.

Okay, the next stage. And exactly, this is something that you like you need to embrace. This is something that you are hiding in the dark corner, but in reality, to be whole, you need to embrace, you need to invite all these parts, you need to shine the light, you need to take the torch and shine the light there. So then you can embrace all of these things, but not be afraid of this thing. So I went to the Tantra and I was so surprised when they've started to talk about this consciousness, awareness, presence, surrender, meditation, like, you know, I realized that I didn't know anything about it. And it's such a beautiful wisdom, Indian wisdom. It's such a beautiful old wisdom that came into my life that With the help of meditation, with the help of connection to the chakras, to the energy, to my feminine nature, like, it completely, as I told you, it opened new dimension of discovery of new life for me. So instead of spending the time for achieving and mastering my goals, I finally went deep inside to see who am I, because in reality, most of my life I was trying to be someone else, the best, the perfect, someone that society, my parents, teachers wanted me to be. And it was the moment for me to see, like, to see myself. To see myself in this authentic expression, to understand what I want, what are my desires, like, who am I? It was this beautiful inner discovery, the journey to go inside and connect deeply to my soul, to myself, and, and see like authentic, true me and what I really wanted. Like, I— if you like, I tell to people I'm Tantra drug dealer. Why? Because Tantra changed my life. And this— what— and since then I've like, this is, this is my truth, this is my life, this is how I live. Because it brought so much freedom, so much freedom to me to be myself, to be authentic self, to like not be afraid or to talk about sex, to talk about like the desires, to talk about the emotions, to be free to express my emotions, to be like even with the man, like, you know, we again, we didn't have this sexual education. Yeah, we didn't, we didn't learn what is the intimacy. What is the, uh, like, how to go to dive deep into intimacy with the partner, how to have sex as a sacred, like, union of souls. It's completely different what you can learn from the porn. And like, when people go and start to learn the beauty of the sexual union of the deep container where they can touch to this intimacy, where they can— like Buddha was enlightened through, uh, like a sexual union also. Like, so it's— this is the ancient wisdom that the society tried to hide from us, so it's easier for the society to control us because the sexual energy is the most potent, the most powerful energy. Strategy.

Yeah. You know, it's interesting you should say that, like, you know, the couple of things that you've said there, like this ancient wisdom that has been kept from us, like this kind of secret that only, you know, unless you really explore and commit to it, it's, it, and it has this, this persona of something dirty and, well, not dirty, but very—

exactly, dirty.

Very sexual in the sense that it's a bit taboo to talk about. Whereas listening to you going meditation, presence, intuition, I'm like, that doesn't sound like what we've been told this is. And, but the thing is, is that, you know, as I'm writing this book and I'm trying to work through how people can get to this place where they say, you know, it's okay where I am. And also feel that I'm not complete and how do I go on this journey? The thing that really hit me is what you said is that we kind of all jump to the journey. We jump to the thing we have to have, the validation, the success, the money, the career or whatever. But we don't get to know ourselves first. It's like we miss this first step that is integral to actually being able to create everything we want. We have to work hard towards all of these things because we don't know ourself. And if we spend that time in getting into who am I, what do I want, where am I coming from, what would give me fulfillment, what does, you know, desire for my perfect life look like, what does desire look like in relationships, what does, what does my heart really want? We miss that step, right? And we don't learn that in school or anywhere. So this takes me now to all of the work that you're, you've been doing, because I know you've got, you know, not-for-profits and you, you still run the the fish empire, but you know, you've got, um, this orientation now of bringing these world leaders together. And I know that you've run a number of retreats and I've looked at them and I'm going to put a link below for people to, to check this out in the future. Cause I know you run multiple retreats a year, but you brought together some incredible minds. Like I look at, it's like a who's who of the self-development world. And I'm like, how does she know all these people?

This is incredible.

And one, you, and the way that you explain your retreats to me is that it's immersive for a long period of time. And the people who are the teachers are also there participating, like you, you participate and get to know them, but you then get wisdom from them and the other participants of all the, the kind of awakenings and, you know, facilitation of this, these type of, um, circles and retreats. And I'm not sure if they're only just for women anymore or not, but can you tell me what have been the most amazing things that these thought leaders in these areas have really shared that have created this, you know, breakthrough for people to go— like your, your breakthrough originally was through the, your first retreat and then, you know, this second one. What have been the ones that have really touched people the most? Uh, you mean the most, again, the biggest transformations people come on the retreats or they come to the women's circles and they have someone speak about heart-brain coherence or about meditation, or is it about tantra? Like what have been the biggest breakthroughs that you've seen or access points for people into this kind of awakening?

Like, like, uh, different people, they are, they have different paths. They do. They have different paths. They have different speed. They are in a different place in their journey. So it's like, really, we have 8 days, we have 12 teachers, people are teaching different modalities. I can see people are like popping like a popcorn in the different moments because each of us need this like a small puzzle. Like, imagine they have their life, they have their own picture, but they need— they have this one missing puzzle it can be conversation with the participant, it can be the conversation with the teacher, it can be the breathwork, it can be the tantra, it can be the hike to the volcano, it can be the workshop about the relationship.

They all—

like, when people are asking me, okay, if I will come with my wife, but I'm on this spiritual journey already for a few years, she's never been to the spiritual journey, I tell Guys, everyone will get their missing puzzle. We come to the space of co-creation. Imagine the space hold by 12 teachers that are on this path for many years, that came from the business, corporate, and they follow in their heart, they follow in their guidance, they spent years to distill the wisdom, to get this knowledge that they are sharing now with all the people. Imagine all of them, all of them coming into one space to guide people, to create the impact in their life, to serve people. They are dropping their ego, they are dropping their mind, they become the teachers and at the same time the students, and at the same time they support the space. And they're there to serve. It's completely different energy. I've organized so many retreats and events, and I've been to so many networking events or like big summits, and I could see when people are coming to the stage and they're the one, the best, and they want to like to show up, and they do the things from the mind, and you can feel it. You can feel when the person is is on the stage still to prove the things to someone, to the parents, to the society, to the friends, or the person come to the stage and share from the heart and really want— if like for me, I always say, if I will impact one person today, it is enough for me. I don't need stages. I don't need the stadiums. If I can impact at least one person every day, 'it's enough for me.' So imagine these people that, uh, come to the space with the one intention to impact one person. Yeah, every day to impact one person, to help you and to guide you, to take your hand and take you on this journey of the transformation where you can come back to yourself, connect to your true authentic self, connect to your power, to your potential, to your blueprint, to your gifts that you meant to bring to this world. Imagine they are giving you the tools that, that can help you to come back to the reality and live the life, become the creator of the life, of this unconventional life where you follow your dreams, where you stand for your mission, where you know your purpose where you, like, do the things that are aligned with your values, that are aligned with your purpose. It's completely different quality of life that brings you so much happiness, joy, curiosity, freedom, the most important freedom to be yourself. It's like completely different energy. You become this unstoppable power that come back to the reality and the only thing that you want to do is to awaken other people, is to show the way for other people, is to create the impact in this world. So it's like, it's, it's very powerful. I tell to people like, guys, if you are not ready, don't come. Your life will be changed.

If you're not ready for your life to change forever, it's not for you.

Don't do it.

And it's interesting just to hear you speak and so eloquently from your heart. And it took me back to Estonia, to Tallinn, to Mindvalley University, like 2018. And the people were getting on the stage and there's the hype and there's the music and there's the lights. And these people are other, they're up here, they're the gurus, right? And you see them and they seem so separate. They're preaching this beautiful message and they're teaching in these amazing things, but there's a separation. And you know, there's 600 people in the room, so they're separate, and they're almost like taken with bodyguards off the stage and put into the green room. And you know, they have the, the, the nice mixers, but you know, you kind of like, oh, you know, there's all the, the gurus over there in the corner. And But I did have this experience with, I don't know if you know Marisa Peer, the hypnotist. Yeah. So it's like UK's number one hypnotist, et cetera. And I was standing in coffee line and she was there and I was like, oh, should I say hello? I'm like, well, no, she was just on the stage. She's very fancy. And I was like in my head going, I'm not enough. I'm not enough.

I'm like, wait a second.

She says I am enough, but I am not. Am I enough? Am I enough? And I'm having this like full-on chat. And, um, I turned around and she turned around and I said, look, you know, I really appreciated your talk, et cetera.

And she said, oh, give me a hug.

And she just like like full-on gave me this full-on hug. And I'm like, oh, this is my people. And I said, yeah, there's a children's program going. I think, you know, your message— you know, these kids were like from 7 to 12, and my son was there, he was 10. I said, there's a kids program, would you mind coming and talking to them? Because they had a lot of— now, Jim Quick came and spoke to them, and all these beautiful people. And she's like, I'd love to. And she came and she gave talk to these kids about I'm enough. And I thought, imagine getting that message at that age, you know, where we were in our 40s, 50s, or 60s, and we're still like going, am I enough? And, um, but she was completely different. And I've had that sense that when you have more of an intimate, um, there's, there's people who are the preachers and they still have the ego of, you know, the elevation. And then there's others who are just like like, you know what, one person, that's all I need. One person to change. And that one person could be my child or my husband or my wife, or, you know, one person at work. I think the Jehovah's Witnesses go to heaven, don't they, if they get one person converted, you know. And it's kind of like, it is this sense of, um, we have— we often think of how big our lives have to be and the meaning and the impact where You know, I was, I was struck by a conversation I heard yesterday and this man said, what if the meaning of life is nothing? What if there is no meaning and it's the meaning you put on it? And we get to then be the drivers of our own reality and saying, well, what means something to me? And if we miss that first part of who am I, what do I want, what do I love about myself and what I want to create, we miss that meaning. And that's why these things that we, we value so much because we can measure them, seem so important because we can't measure what we can't value, what we value because they don't have a measurement to them. The sense of self, the sense of connection, the sense of, you know, being there for someone else or, you know, making a change in humanity. How do you value that? So you can't. So how do you measure that? Because we have so much trouble in measuring those things, whereas the bank account or the pretty car we can measure. So yeah, that, that realization is amazing. I really appreciate you sharing that. Thank you. It's given me clarity.

Yes. And like, you know, I always tell if you want to impact the world, follow your dreams. If you don't want to impact the world, don't follow your dreams. And in reality, when we see all these people on the stage, In reality, we are creating this separation. We are putting them on this pedestal, thinking that they are someone else. They're the same people. They have the same hands, same blood. The only thing what they did, they did this step of courage. They follow their dreams. They decided to be these leaders. And yes, some of them are still in the mind, but And like, as you told, you saw amazing, beautiful example of the person that do the things from the heart. I've been to Mindvalley University. I can tell you, Lisa Nichols, when she was talking on the stage, I was like, wow, I could feel her words coming inside the cells into my blood. She was like just touching every cell like every part of my body. Her message resonated so much because it came from the heart. It didn't come from here. And she was so authentic. She was so real. She was there like just, it was crazy what she did in the hall. And it's completely different when you see people talk from the ego and from the mind. And when when people come and talk from the heart and they don't care what people will think about them. They will be just true authentic self. And recently I was reading one of the most profound studies. The nurse, the Australian nurse Bronnie Ware, revealed that 70% of people reach their final moments ends with the same regret. I wish I had lived my life true to myself, not to the life others, not the life others expected from me. 70% of people before they die, before their last breath, they realize, imagine that they spend their whole life to be someone else, to prove to people, to live the life that they didn't want to live. Why, why should we wait for the last moment? Why should we wait till this space where we are dying and we have these regrets? Why we like— or maybe we can choose to show up to stand for our dreams, for our values, to be the best and play the best version of ourselves, to make these choices, to make the steps of courage, to choose to impact one person at a time, to be these creators that create their own game, their own life, their own rules, and really play this game, be the best in playing this game. And like, you know, all these people, they're getting Oscars. I really want to have the Oscar for my life. Like, you know, at the end of the life, I want to have my Oscar that like, okay, I played my role. I was showing up in the best way as I can. And I was true to myself, I was authentic to myself, I created my life because success, it's not about the amount of the money on your account or it's not the car that you drive, it's being rich, being rich it's not about money, it's about freedom to be yourself, it's about being authentic, it's about doing the things with the people that you want to do the things, it's about working with people that you want to work or co-create, it's about doing the things, travel, or pursue your dreams, the dreams that come from the heart. It's like completely different mentality. Like a lot of people want to, like, you know, become millionaires, right? And they want to become the millionaires and only then they start to, when they have the safety, when they have this money, okay, now I can do the impact or follow my dreams or something like this. But why not to change this mentality? Why not to live the life and fulfill all your dreams? And by doing this, by following your dreams, by following your purpose and your mission, by being this authentic, by doing the things from the moment of the aliveness, one step at a time, at some point you get to this abundance. The abundance, all the money comes to you because the universe starts to support you. It's like a cherry on the cake. And it's much easier to become a millionaire with this mindset than to push yourself to do the things, achieve, put the goals, and then like become the millionaire and have the issues with the health, feeling at this emptiness inside, unhealthy relationship with your friends, with the family, with your parents.

For what?

What is the reason? Like you were talking about the meaning. The meaning of the life is not to be this human doing that constantly race like a horse to the next and the next and the next. It's to be happy now in the present moment. Yeah. The moment is our everything.

You know, you know what? Um, I had this, I, I had a, a chat this morning with my coach and, uh, and we were talking, uh, about, you know, my observations and my learnings so far and what I've, I've got to. And I was saying, you know, there is this kind of concept that you create your own reality, right? And you create your reality through your past and your experiences and the people you're trying to impress and all of the things from the past and you create the reality. So, you know, I'm very comfortable with that concept, but over the last couple of weeks, I'd really been exploring this in my own life and through different readings and et cetera. And you talked about channeling and, you know, so, you know, I was listening to someone about channeling and I was, you know, someone was sharing about, you know, the power of prayer and someone else was talking about, you know, the neuroscience of intention and, and all that. And quantum of, uh, quantum field of no time has no existence. And I've been sitting with all of that. And one of the things that's really struck me, and I was sharing with him, was that it is all an illusion. And the reality, the physical reality of what we see, like the actual physical reality of an atom is that 99% of it, 0.99, is space. So all of these physical things that we see is mostly space. But we've constructed this reality and we have this illusion of everything. And so I guess my observation has been when I've seen things or I've had a reaction to something or there's a circumstance, it's, it's quite, um, liberating and freeing to go, well, why, why am I seeing that? Why did I construct that? Why, why have I created a a, you know, projection of that into the world at the moment. And when you, you're talking there about, you know, this liberation, this freedom, what really has, had struck with me, the number of people, and I do, you know, through a lot of the financial property wealth kind of businesses I have, I do these conversations and I've had them with hundreds of people about the life they want to create. And they think before they go into this visualization that it is is the house by the beach or, you know, the fancy cars and the kids in the nice schools or the great career or the perfect partner. And when we step into what they really want, it is happiness, fulfillment, peace, time to read a book. I want to read a biography every week. I'm like, can you do that now? And they're like, yeah. And so, so much of this kind of like what people are working for, they think they have to work for this thing to get them to what they want, where in actual fact, it's like, choose that now. Like, solve for X. And if X is happiness, what's that mean? And it might be sitting with your puppy, having a cup of tea, you know. And I think that we— and the fact that you come from fishing, right, and fish, you probably know the proverb about the guy who went down to the water in Sardinia or somewhere and saw this man who was sitting on the beach. And he said to the man, you know, oh, you're not working? He said, no, I work in the mornings. I've got a boat. And he said, do you know this proverb? Oh, so he says, oh, what do you mean you've got a boat? And he says, oh, I have this boat and we go out in the morning, we fish and we've got these great catches and we bring them in and, and by lunchtime I'm done. I get to sit on the beach and I get to read a book and I watch the sunset and I, I sit and have a drink with my wife and it's beautiful. And He's like, wow, he said, you've got a lot of fish. And said, yeah, there's a lot of fish out there. He said, well, what happened if you had two boats? And he said, well, if I had two boats, I could get more fish. And he said, and you could make more money. He said, is anyone here in, in this part of, you know, Sardinia, are they actually like exporting the fish? And he's like, no, they're not. He's like, well, if you bought a fleet of boats and you had this fleet of boats, you could like tons of fish and you could export them to the, to the US. And I know people over there, I can hook you up. And you could have like this huge corporation of, you know, these fishing vessels. And, and he's like, yeah, and your sons could inherit it, and that's amazing. And you have this entire business. And the man's like, and then what happens? He said, and then you can sell it and you can sit on the beach and you can read a book and you can watch the sunset and have a drink with your life. He's like, doing it now, I'm doing that now.

Yeah, it kind of speaks to that.

Like, we keep looking at the bigger and bigger, like, wait, maybe we've already got it. Maybe if it is all an illusion and we have what we want, it's all good.

The, the situation is that the most successful people in the world, they want peace and happiness. Money doesn't bring the peace Yes, money doesn't bring the happiness. Yes, it gives you more possibilities, but like what makes us happy is the feeling, is not the number on the account, is what we feel inside. And when you were talking about this illusion about these houses, etc., in reality, like Joe Dispenza and other people are teaching, like all these manifestations, all these attractions, it's not about the house and how the house look and how many floors in this house. It's about how will you feel in this house with your family. How will you feel with your beloved one going like and doing the things and like taking care of this house. It's about the feelings. So we can bring the— if we can bring ourselves to the present moment. I'm in Bali, I'm looking now to the beautiful blue sky, I have the frangipani tree, like feel so abundant just to wake up and see this beauty around me. It's not about money, it's like I already feel abundant, I feel so much gratitude inside. I feel so much love inside to have this abundance in my life and the opportunity to witness all these things around. It's about how I feel. And like, I feel now more rich, more abundant than I've been when I was working in my corporate business because I have so And this, the power of gratitude, love, this consciousness, the happiness, it's— this is completely different energy. This is completely different frequency and vibrations. And when we operate and we live our life, uh, like based on these vibrations, we attract completely different quality of life, abundance, people, connections, love, friends. It's completely different reality. And we, like a lot of people, they don't take the responsibility for the movie that they create, for the game that they create. But when you become this creator of your life, you take the responsibility for your thoughts, for your actions, because in reality, what we see as our reality, yes, it's all illusion, but yes, it comes from our thoughts. So if we can take the responsibility, if we can change our thoughts, if we can change our actions, we can create completely different movie. And the most important, we don't need someone else to be the director of this movie. We can be the director of this movie. And that's why I told you I will get my Oscar, because—

and this is what I'm thinking, you don't get an Oscar for being the actor with someone else's script. You get the Oscar for being the director, producer, executive.

That's why I told you I am director of my movie. When you get this realization that you are creator of all this illusion The things that you are doing, the life that you are creating, the values that you have, the meaning that you put, it comes from you. It comes from you. So it's simple. Just change it. Make a decision now, today, and you will see that you will project completely different reality into your life.

I tell you, I tell you what, Elena, I, I'm just like, I'm going to do everything I can to get to one of your retreats because I think they're amazing. And we might have a second interview about the retreats you've got coming up this year and next year. But I, uh, the transformation that they, the original ones created for you, and thank you for the definition of what tantra actually means. So I now have a whole different opening awareness of of that. But, you know, what you've talked about and some of the things you, you, you've brought up and that knowing of yourself and that's that kind of soul alignment when you're like, I'm selling my soul for money. I don't want to do that. And then, you know, you, you talked about, you know, then going on a path that allowed you to be open and you went to Bali, but, and you were stuck in Bali, but you made the most of it and then it changed your whole life. So, So, you know, I really, the fact that you took action, I think is where a lot of people fall down to. And so that's something I'm going to take and think about how to, that action taking, how to provoke people to do it. So, and I might even create a bit of an experiment around it, how we can, you know, take our thoughts and our real inner dreams that aren't about a thing, but about a feeling and really connect to that because I think, you know, That's something that we miss. We often have what we want already, you know, and yeah, it's just that awareness of someone pulling it out for you. So, so many things. Thank you so very much. I so appreciate your time. And yeah, as I said, I'm going to, I might have to hustle the troops and we'll, Soldier Jane will come to one of your retreats and learn how to lose more of the discipline.

Yeah, like, you know, one of the things that came came to me through all this journey. We are not human doings, we are human beings. And in reality, uh, when you come back to this human being nature, yes, you are doing the steps and the actions, but the actions come from the heart. They come with ease and flow when you doing the actions that are aligned with your mission and with your it like, it just comes so easily. You don't need to struggle or to make the efforts or to control or to manage. You just stay present with each step that you do. You get so much joy to witness this each step. It's, it's completely, again, it's completely different life. And in reality, when people come back to their potential, when they are awakened, you don't need to force or to ask them to do the steps. They are so— like, there is this fire inside that, like, it's unstoppable fire.

There's no choice.

There is no choice. Really, there is no choice. You awake, you like wake up in the morning and you have this energy and you need to to do these actions. Like, it's— it just comes from you. You can't stop yourself because there is infinite power inside. And when you connect to this power, like, you just— you just go forward.

I love it.

The unconventional life.

I love an unconventional life.

I love it. I love it.

Well, you know, it's It's been extraordinary talking to you, and you've opened up so many more chapters for me to explore. So I really appreciate your time. And if you're happy to stick around, I'd love to have a chat to you about your retreats too that are coming up, because I reckon we can gather a few people and go and enjoy those together and go through that awakening together. So life is nothing but the choice of what we want to create. So thank you so much, beautiful. I really appreciate your time.

Thank you so much.