Exit The Matrix with Me Experiment: Guest: ETM With Me Week 7: Joe Che | Is your job making you cry? Bali Interview

Welcome to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success with your host Jane Slack-Smith, where we celebrate the incredible journeys of individuals who've transcended their limitations and achieved extraordinary success.

Well, hello from beautiful Bali! I bet you didn't think you're going to hear from me. I did say I was going to do a digital detox and be away for a week, but I have to say, when your heart calls and when you meet the right people, you make magic, right? So I can't wait to introduce you to Joe Shea. Joe, hello. Hello, Jane Slack-Smith. Now I have to say, Joe, it's a 7-day retreat, 8 days, I don't know. Every single speaker that I have heard, I'm like, that's enough, I could leave now. And you were on like the second day, so I had to kind of rewind and go, what did I learn from Joe? And it was interesting because your specialization now, I'm just not gonna tell you everything he does, communication and the conversations you have to do and leading heart-centered women in business to the next level of their magnitude of monetizing their amazing gifts. But I wanna bring it all back because in this Exit the Matrix with me, experiment where I'm researching, you know, how do people go from a point of corporate life or some type of set path, and then all of a sudden they have maybe an event or a calling or something goes, nah, I've got to be in Bali serving these people. So I want to take it back to some of the things that you told me about what you were doing when you started your career.

I mean, I think my first business was probably at 7 or 8 years old, so It was very ingrained in me. It was the feeling of— the lesson was, if you want something, I'm not going to get the money from my parents to do that.

Yeah.

So I remember it was like I wanted to go to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and, and they're like, okay, great, well, here's some ways you can make money. You can go shovel snow, you can borrow the lawnmower. And it was like So frustrating that the other kids are just getting handed the $5, $10, whatever it was back then, and I had to go work for it. And that's a beautiful lesson in entrepreneurship. If you want something, you need to figure out how to make money.

So, and you shared a story also about— all I can think of is this, like, you getting through the snow to do a job. Like, tell me, like, what were you doing to hustle, hustle, hustle to try to start getting away in life?

You know, I remember being in this job that I hated.

Yeah.

And it was in upstate New York, and it's next to this lake, and all the condensation comes up, and the wind blows from Canada and just dumps snow and rain nonstop. I think it's like 90 days you can even see the sky, just like a blank sky or the sun. So during the winter, it was hell. And it's gotten better since. But I mean, the snow used to be over the top of the car. So, you know, it was at the bottom of the driveway. And to get out of the driveway, you had to shovel the whole driveway. And I'm not talking about shovel a path. You had to shovel your car out. Sometimes you were digging tunnels there.

Oh my God. So, and then, you know, and this is like early.

I mean, yeah. Oh yeah. It's probably 4 in the morning, you know, because I was opening this restaurant. I was the lead cook and it was good money back then because there wasn't a lot options, you know. It was a very depressed city, a place where the big was Xerox and Kodak, and those companies were failing. So there was a lot of highly educated people working as managers in McDonald's, right?

Right.

Literally.

Okay, wow. Okay, so you had a great job. Well, the early opener—

I don't— wouldn't call it that, but it was— for the availability, it was, it was better than, you know, working at Taco Bell or someplace like this. And not a lot of options, and I And so, you know, I had to get up really early, shovel the snow. The plow would come, plow it back in. And when you finally got out of the driveway, which sometimes took a bunch of slipping and sliding and difficulties.

Yeah.

And salting. You had to drive there. It took 35, 45 minutes and cars slipping and sliding. You just— your nervous system's just in high alert.

Yeah.

And you get there, you know, you're racing around trying to get it open. And the story I shared was the chopping onions. And this one thing, one job was, you know, these big bins, they're white bins, and you gotta fill a ton of these with chopped onions. And I don't know why, but my body hates onions. My eyes go completely closed, puff up, crying. And to this day, if an onion is getting chopped, even in the next room, my whole eyes shut down. So I'm just sitting there half blind in misery chopping onions. And that feeling of, what the hell am I doing with my life?

Yeah.

And I am here to tell other people that if you are chopping onions or punching a clock, or if you are doing something that you hate, that what you're calling being in the matrix, there is absolutely a possibility to leave it. And that's what I help people do.

So you kind of like, you're in this moment, you're like, what am I doing with my life? And, and, you know, it is such an incredible metaphor because there's a lot of people sitting there at work and they're in the stress state, and it's almost like the tears of the onions. Like, every day we're doing something that brings us to tears. So you made that decision, then, then what?

I started asking myself the question, how the hell do I get out of here?

Yeah.

And I started getting curious. And this is an important component into finding your soul purpose is what are you curious about? This is one question in my program that I ask. It's like, what are you curious about? Man, I find myself going on AI and asking all these questions about genetic engineering. Okay, there's something there to that. I'm looking up on YouTube how to be a primitive survivalist all the time. There's something there. Yeah, I tried that for a few weeks. It was awesome. Difficult but awesome.

Few weeks.

Yeah, you know, are you constantly looking up self-development books? Are you constantly— like, there's, there's clues in your purpose. And, you know, another clue is, when did you feel most in your power? Yeah, for some people it's they give a presentation and work and everyone's clapping. It's like, that's the best idea I've ever heard. You're feeling your power. It's like when your shoulders go back, you come home and you just can't wait to tell your partner, friend, lover, and you're just like, "Oh my God, it was the best day. I got up there, I gave the thing," or, "I just landed a big client," or, "I just got my dream client." That's when you know you're in your power, and these are all clues into what I call soul purpose.

Because success leaves clues, right?

For sure.

I love that idea of being curious. If you're not comfortable and you're chopping onions, like, it's what is it and how do you get out of that? You then went on to become a trainer, like you're best in, in, in field in so many areas. You're now living in Bali.

Yeah.

Like, how did we go from like, you ran a speakeasy, which I didn't even know existed, but I love and delighted by the fact that they do. But so how did all of this kind of then move you to, you know, helping heart-centered people?

You know, it's all a journey, right? In beginning part of my life, born again Christian, following that path. And when those answers weren't feeling satisfying and I started moving away from that, it takes away all the existential questions that were already answered.

Yeah.

Why am I here? What happens when I die? What's the reason for living? What's my reason for being? My ikigai. How should I live my life? What are the right ethics? What's beautiful about religion and spirituality is it creates a framework where you don't have to decide anything.

Yeah.

You just subscribe, hit the subscribe button.

You get born into it, so you don't even subscribe. Your parents subscribe for you, really.

They try to subscribe for you, but it's ultimately, it's your choice. Absolutely. And so, you know, when I started going away, I had to ask those questions. And for me, the question that kept coming up when I asked the question, why, why do I want this thing? Why do I want to do this thing? Why do I want this healthy relationship? Why do you know all these questions? I just kept saying, because like, because I want to be happy. And then I would ask the question—

that seems so simple, right?

Simple, but it takes a long time for us to get there.

Hello, just a quick message.

I hope you're enjoying this podcast bonus session. Now, if you have heard this interview, then you're probably sitting in there going, what is this all about? Well, this is all about my Exit the Matrix experiment. Now, I decided to write a book because I'm really interested in how do we go from the existence that we have now to exiting the matrix and living with intention from our hearts, following our heart's desires, but also creating abundance in all areas of our lives. And hence, whilst I've been researching this book, I thought, this is a really solitary journey. I want people to come on this journey with me. And hence, I've got this very special group. Now, come and join me the first first month for founders is free. And if you decide to stay, fantastic. So what I'm doing is I'm interviewing incredible people. I'm getting insights about what's this awakening that people are getting, you know, what is the exit the matrix kind of sliding door moment for them. Now I've obviously run this podcast for over a year now and I have more than 30 stories, but I'm also interested in those people who are in this transformational space who are actually not just awakening themselves, and they're awakening others. What is the mechanism? As Bashar talks about it, it's the permission slip. Are they going through astrology or meditation or yoga or breathwork? Are they just going within and getting a sense of what's really going on? So that's what all the Exit the Matrix experience is about. I'm going to let you get back to the interview, but if you want to join me, go to exitthematrix.today/ ETM with me, which stands for Exit the Matrix with me. So that's exitthematrix.today/etmwithme. Sign up. I'd love for you to come along. I'm creating courses. There's currently courses in there around 4D gratitude. There's more courses to come. I'm creating custom GPTs on how you can exit the matrix and helping you uncover what lies beneath your subconscious and holding you back. And also other custom GPTs that I'm sure you're going to love. And most of the speakers are actually really motivating me. So I'm creating courses, I'm creating ebooks, I'm creating experiments you can try, I'm creating tools that you can use, and I'm also writing a book. So at some stage I'll get to writing the book. At this moment, it's just all about the research, and I hope you choose to join me because I'm really excited about this experiment. So I'll get back to the interview now. Enjoy yourself. And as always, here's to your success.

Yeah. And the question is, okay, why do you want to be happy? And I just got in a loop. Well, because I want to be happy. Well, why do you want to be happy? Because I want to be happy. Like, this is my intrinsic desire as a human. And so once I realized that, I started asking the question, well, how do you be happy? And there's a study by the, uh, Harvard study of the Harvard Adult Development, and what they found was the key indicator for happiness is healthy relationships above health, above longevity, everything.

So Blue Zone shows that, doesn't it?

Absolutely.

Which is where people live to more than 100, or average age is extraordinary. So there's a lot of— everyone thought it was nutrition or something, where it came down to community and connection.

Yeah, Loma Linda, California, Okinawa, Japan, Ikaria, Greece, Nosara Peninsula, and there's, there's one more. And, um, you know, and they thought, like you said, they thought it was gonna be nutrition, but turns out it was actually the largest medicine is connection and healthy relationships, having a purpose, ideally in a multi-generational system that when you're getting older, you're not getting thrown in an old folks home ready left to die. You are still— you're taking care of kids, you're gardening, you go into a pod where there's like sharing. So like, and these go on forever. So once I realized that healthy relationships are the key to happiness, then the question became, well, how the hell do I have a happy relationship?

A healthy one, right?

Yeah.

And what's the key? Give us a secret.

What I found is there is one of the biggest keys is communication. Communication removes connection wedges, what I call connection wedges, which is the thing that's in between you.

Yeah.

And I like to think of them as an upside-down triangle that have weight.

Makes sense.

So if you hurt my feelings, you get triggered, you know, I get triggered by you, you say something, I'm like, oof, that creates a very— a connection wedge, and it just sits there. And then time brings it down.

Yeah.

The longer it sits there, it just— longer it forces you apart until the connection potentially break. So one of the jobs of a healthy connection is to clear those wedges. Well, how do you clear those wedges? You have high-level communication. So I started studying a lot into that, and now I've created frameworks that are even above Nonviolent Communication by Rosenberg, because I, I love his communication, which is— it's what I call a level 2. So a level 1 communication would be, you made me feel that way, Jane Slack-Smith. When you said that thing, you made me feel that way. That's level 1. Level 2 communication is, which is nonviolent communication, is I felt hurt when you said that.

Yeah.

I have a level 3 communication framework that I have an AI for that I'm happy to share with people. It's free, which might say something like this. We need an example, but Jane Slack-Smith, I really love you and I love our connection and it's been, it's important to me. And I'm noticing that when this came up, I felt really hurt and unseen. And I would love just to maybe understand what was there for you, because I'm sure you probably didn't mean to hurt me.

There's your curiosity again, right? As well.

Yeah. You enter the curiosity and there's some intentions and there's I statements. So we're taking that level 2 to a level 3. And I call this connection communication because the idea is is how do I invite the most amount of connection? Because when you offer the connection, it generally comes back to you, and then you're like, oh, I didn't realize.

Yeah, there was no story. I wasn't trying to exclude you. Yeah.

And they say, oh, thanks for sharing that. You know, I had a different narrative on it.

You know, the thing that, that really I found profound about— like, there was so many exercises that we did— was that the way that you've navigated from if happiness is this and it's based on relationships and good quality connections, and that's based on good quality communication, and then how do people actually follow into having good quality connections and communication and living their purpose? Like, how do you step into it? And, and one of the amazing tools that Joe has in his program and was very generously shared with us, he has this incredible, um, AI GPT that essentially takes all of these things about you and what you love, etc., and comes up with like 10 different careers that you could have or businesses that you create. And the purpose, the, the thing that I love about this is that happiness is the goal. And if you're creating a business that's your heart fire, and the steps between is having the connections and it's communication, and you've written a book on language and the power of words, etc., like That which I'd love to have you back on. So when we get to that stage to talk through more of it, but I think that, you know, from the boy that was shoveling the snow and chopping onions and going, is this it? To someone now who has like done this deep, profound study and, and really connected the dots to happiness, which I mean, we all kind of want, right?

Yeah. So for me, what I found is that the overarching sort of part of my life is extraordinary alignment, and that is what leads to happiness. And the pillars I, I really focus on is the connection, which includes like connection to self, connection to others, relationships, and community, because community is just a collection of connections. It's all it is. Then it's the communication aspect. And it's the career aspect. Because what do we do most in our lives?

We're at work somewhere.

We're trying to— we're hustling for some money, or maybe hopefully not hustling. So the career part is, for me, is I found a system that really originated from a Japanese system, which is called the ikigai, which is your reason for being and and it's an intersection of these 4 things. But when I was teaching that around the world for years and I realized it wasn't getting people far enough.

Yeah.

And so then I started asking the questions, well, what questions do we need to know?

Yeah.

And then it was a lot of them, but they're easy. They're really easy. Like, what have you done in the past? What do you love to do? What are you curious about? Things like this. And then, then I would take that and part of my program is we take all those questions and I'll actually, me and my team, read it ourselves and give you back a bunch of things. But then I was doing this retreat and I'm like, I don't have the capacity to read 35 people. So I said, I'm going to teach this AI to think like me. And, you know, and I'll do this as a gift for these participants. So that's actually going to get shut down in 2 days.

But that's insane.

But the idea is, you know, sometimes it's hard to scale things. So that's the career aspect. And actually, the book is not about communication at all. It's, it's about connection. So if you're familiar with like a Myers-Briggs or Enneagram, these are frameworks of who are you.

Yeah.

Who am I?

Number 2.

Yeah, great. Yeah, I'm a 378. I am a Myers-Briggs ENFJ. I am a Sagittarius with my moon rising. We, we love this.

Yeah, exactly. It's nice to cling to something sometimes, to feel like you, you're part of a group as well. It's like, oh, it answers everything. And then someone says, what's your moon rising? I'm like, damn it, I thought I was good just knowing I was a Scorpio.

You gotta go— you're in Bali, Jane. You gotta know your moon rising, your sun rising, where your Venus is.

I was like, she's okay. All right, well, look, I think we'll, we'll, um, have to have you back because first and foremost your brain just delights me. And the way that you connect, you know, what we're talking about is people who aren't chopping onions and are having this life which is kind of like they're making the money, but there is tears and there is, you know, this loss of connection. And, you know, there's a point where we go, now is the time that we need to, to do something. So, Joe, my heartfelt thank you. And, uh, yeah, well get whatever, you know, that beautiful connection, the gift that you offered as well, and, and put it below in Jo's details. But we'll speak soon, I'm sure.

Yeah, I love you guys. Feel free to follow me, theconnectionmap.com. I have a ton of free resources on these communications AI tools. I have a quiz that will tell you how likely it is, likely it is that you should be with someone, like literally. And it's a lot of math and research on this. You took yours, Jane. How— what did you get?

I've got a golden relationship.

Relationship. Yeah, which is basically the highest of the high. This is what you want, and this is from a lot of studies. So congratulations, you have what I want.

So there you go. Well, you know, maybe I can share some tips. Okay, well, thank you so much. Uh, as, as I said, coming from beautiful Bali, um, I'm having the Bali sauna. I decided I was going to have a breakdown, a breakthrough. It's just coming out of my pores, literally. But literally, like, I think I'm having like 5 showers a day or something. But, um, thank you so much everyone who's watching. And you know, if sitting there going, I'm not in the matrix, you know, everything's fine, but I do have that little feeling that maybe I'm not living my purpose, or maybe, you know, I'm chopping onions and this is not where I should be, then stick around because we'll be speaking to some more inspiring people and bring you some tools and research, and we've got lots of experiments for you to jump into. All the best for now.

That's it.

Here's to your success. Bye-bye, Penelope! Bye-bye, Penelope!

Thank you for listening to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success. Make sure you subscribe to future episodes at www.exitthematrix.io. Until next time, here's to your success!