[Jen Ramsey] From Exhausted to Energised

Welcome to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success with your host Jane Slack-Smith, where we celebrate the incredible journeys of individuals who've transcended their limitations and achieved extraordinary success.

Hello and welcome back to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success podcast. Now, like always, I have an incredible guest today, and actually someone who I have known for over a year, and that And that's Jen Ramsey. Now Jen has a unique story, as we all do, from where she was way back when, feeling a bit of overwhelm and exhaustion, which a lot of us do, and the journey that she's been on to bring her to where she is today. Now Jen is a leadership and empowerment coach for women. She's a brand strategist. She's a communication expert. She's always performed in the corporate world, and over 25 years of experience in working with CEOs, elite athletes, helping board members create their pitches, helping, you know, people who are in startups create pitches, helping academics get hundreds of millions of dollars worth of funding. She has that entire corporate world, but she's also been a strong lover of wisdom, ancient wisdom, yoga, and she's an incredible sound healer. She has this incredible dimension to her. She is a person that I love having in my life, and I'm just so excited to introduce you to Jen today. Hello, Jen, and welcome to Exit the Matrix.

Hi, Jane, and thanks so much for having me here today and for creating such a space for, for people to share their stories. I really appreciate it.

Well, look, everyone's sitting here going, hmm, exhaustion and overwhelm, we can all put our hand up for that. And imagine that you've actually experienced this maybe once, maybe twice in your life. I'd love to hear a bit about your story and the journey that you've been on, the sliding door moment, maybe the time that you exited the matrix.

Well, absolutely, Jane. And I would say to you, I probably— some people might say I'm a bit of a slow learner. I feel like I've exited the matrix a few times. I've had a few sliding door moments and a few moments where I was really confronted with situations that really highlighted to me that I needed to do things differently. And that's why I think your podcast is so powerful because you're sharing real stories about people, people's real stories, and the authentic backstory that often people don't hear. You know, people listen to podcasts and hear the stories of success, but without that backstory. And for me, whilst the backstory can be painful, and I know a range of people probably think, well, my backstory, you know, was pretty difficult as well. It's only through that It's through that experience, through that backstory, through that pain that we actually can rise up and really see who we are and live our lives really authentically. So just to, I guess, but to answer your question, I have had, I would say, as you said, you know, I would say I've had a couple of sliding door moments. And I might go back to the beginning in terms of just early in my corporate career. I was in my 20s. And I, you know, on the outside, it— everything looked fabulous. You know, I was, I was speaking at conferences, I was winning awards, I was, um, managing a big stable of clients and a big team, and everything looked great on the outside. But the problem was, was that on the inside, I was actually a hot mess. I was— I actually felt inside there was something seriously wrong with me. I had, probably since I'd been a little girl, I had really, um, I think you would be what people would term sensitive, but I was very sensitive and I felt I was always emotional when others weren't. And I was having these really strong reactions to things and feeling deeply sad about the world, about animals, about the planet. And people told me that I was just really too sensitive and I just needed to get on with it and soldier on. So, suck it up.

Just suck it up.

That's it. You know, and you know that I definitely agree that we've got to move on, but we've got to have the skills to be able to support ourselves in moving on. And as a young woman, I didn't have those skills, and I felt like I was knocking on the door trying to find the answers. I'd started reading some personal development books, but nothing seemed to be working and nothing seemed to be sticking. And so what I did in response to all of this was that I looked to really control my outside environment and, you know, and everything on the outside. So I could feel a bit better on the inside. I felt if everything was controlled and managed and looked great on the outside, then I could feel better on the inside.

And, um, and I guess that means that everyone looking at you is like, she's got the perfect life, she's got it all together, everything's structured, everything's organized. And inside you're going, if this breaks down or one thing collapses, it's all going to go.

Yep, it's a house of cards. And that was exactly right. And it was this external facade. And, uh, you know, it was a very lonely place. It was a very scary place. And it really— I, but I had a sliding door moment where I actually realized that I needed to actually change, that I couldn't live that life anymore. And I made a big decision to, um, very— I'd say one of the most difficult decisions of my life, to, to, um, to separate from my first husband. And it was very dark and lonely time because He was a great guy. I loved his family. His family loved mine. My family loved him. Everyone thought that I was just mad for doing this. And, um, but I knew in my heart of hearts— so this is really the first sliding door moment— I knew in my heart of hearts that if I— that something needed to change. And there was a dynamic in our relationship that wasn't working. And looking back now, I realized that dynamic was really me and my anxiety, but I hadn't really gathered that, hadn't really connected with that word anxiety at that point. So, so I'm, I, you know, it was sort of, I call it my exit the matrix mark one, to use your terminology, or my awakening mark one. So I went on a journey in my early 30s of real personal development. I did some amazing things and had some great realizations and, and felt like I had woken up out of a slumber. Um, and so I, I then went on and met my, my current husband and, um, and, and we, we developed got, you know, a really beautiful life together. And but in that life together, he had two sons, and I, uh, from a previous marriage, and I hadn't had children yet. So we decided that the best option at that point, for a range of reasons, was for me to do IVF. Now the issue is, is that there are a few things about the complications of IVF that they just don't put in the brochure. And I only—

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Jane Slack-Smith, it certainly was not in the fine print. It was, uh, something that I had no idea about. And so what What happened was, was that I had a complication from the drugs that they give you. It's a complication that does happen. It's called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. I had it very severely and I almost died. And this was really, you know, this was really the moment of my rock bottom. And that was an event that was completely out of control. And in that illness, I was out of control. I physically put on 16 kilos of fluid in 3 days. I couldn't breathe. I was on morphine. It was a really severely— I was severely ill. So I was, I was truly out of control. And this is kind of interesting for a girl that had been so in control for so long, and suddenly here I am. I am, I am, I'm way out of control. I can't— we don't even know if I'm— at that point, we didn't even know if I was going to survive. But fortunately, I had a great doctor, and he managed just day by day to bring me back. But that out of control physically then led to a really really dark space for me psychologically and, um, and emotionally. And it was at that point, you know, in the ensuing months that I really hit rock bottom and I found myself hospitalized. And so this really was a very dark moment. And I was actually given the label of anxiety, which was— which— so this was the— this— and this is really what had been creeping up on me, you know, all through my 20s. And But I hadn't— didn't have a name for it. And to be frank, when I got that label, I was like, "Thank heavens that I am not stark raving mad, that there is a name for how I've been feeling." Because I had been feeling so— I'd shamed myself so much. I'd been feeling so wrong and so ashamed of my emotional responses that, you know, I thought there was something— there was no one else like me and there was something seriously wrong.

And I think that the thing about that, that, you know, and thank you for sharing that, is that you can go through life in the matrix thinking that you kind of, you know, the pendulum that goes up and goes down, but really you're still in, you know, the bounds of society. It says be perfect, stand up, suck it in, don't get emotional. And you're pushing it all down. There is this thing and that you don't know what it is. It just doesn't feel right. And you had that courage to take the step and, you know, create a new relationship. And then there's another moment that goes, well, you know, you're still in control. Here you are out of control. And it is that kind of naming your demon. If you can name the monster or see the monster under the bed, right, you actually have— maybe it's a definition, but it gives you something that actually can go, okay, now I can see it. There's an awareness. I can do something about it.

Absolutely. 1000% Jane Slack-Smith. One, absolutely 1,000%. And, you know, it was, it was about naming it and just thinking, I'm not— literally, I remember thinking to myself, at least I'm not completely mad here. There is something that I can put my hand on with this. Now, what I need to say though, though, is that, um, it was still the whole situation being in hospital, it was, it was a very dark moment. And I remember being in the hospital room thinking, you know, what's just happened? And, and my life, my personal life was, was really, was in a really bad space and feeling just really so alone. And but, but, but there was a moment, and it was in actually in that darkest moment that I had this incredibly profound awakening because I'd been studying, because I had been studying quantum physics. I had been studying, doing, continuing to read and, and do courses and so on and so forth. And I'd done a coaching qualification and so on. So I was on the path of learning and growth, and I always have been and always will be. And but it was in that really darkest moment that I did have— it was, it was, it was this— all I can say to you is that it was this profound awareness that I knew from quantum physics that energy is everything. And I had this incredible moment of awareness that if, if my energy— if, if I— and if we— and that energy is everything. And the other second part of that is, that's really important for— was important for me to realize, was that I am responsible for my own creation. And, and, and then I realized, I thought, well, if I am responsible for my own creation, if that means if I then created all of that carnage behind me in my personal life you know, I'm in my second marriage, things are not in a good space. I've, you know, I've had this disaster with this IVF and so on and so forth. I thought, you know what, if I am in this space of having created this terrible carnage behind me, what if I could actually use that energy and create something beautiful and actually be intentional about how I wanted my life to be? That was the that was the sliding door moment. That was the moment when everything shifted because— and I would say to you, it was because I took full responsibility for my creation and what I had, what I had created. And then I said, powerful, right?

It's powerful to actually realize if you are the predominant creator in your life and you've created an outcome you didn't want, like, hello, what can I do if I get the outcome I want? So, you know, that That moment, you know, let's be honest, most people don't have that. They have a life of blaming other people, circumstances, situations, how they were born, where they were born, the color, the religion, wars, whatever. But if you can step outside that matrix and go, if I'm the creator and I have the opportunity to do this, what can I create? And so what did you create? Where did you go from there?

So then I did, I then really stepped into really creation and intentionally creating an end result. And so I dove further into quantum physics to really understand how does this work. I also really dove into yoga. So yoga moved from being this practice that I, I now realize I'd been using to sort of manage stress and anxiety and overwhelm. I actually, I really, really dove into the beauty and medicine of yoga and got my yoga teacher's accreditation. I also stepped into sound healing and I really And I started really understanding much more deeply about this thing called energy. So when we sort of talk about quantum physics, it feels like it's a bit in a science laboratory somewhere and it's happening to someone else. But I really started saying, okay, how am I going to use this thing called energy and frequency in my life? And I started really making intentional choices about how I was going to show up and what energy that I was going to bring to any given situation. So I did that, and over a period of time, I actually changed everything in my life. Number one, I changed my relationship with myself, which was actually the most important thing. And then everything— when I changed my relationship with myself, I became more self-loving, more self-accepting, more forgiving of myself, then, and more intentional then about allowing myself to have a life of beauty and to see that I could create something beautiful. So then everything in my outside world changed. My relationship with my husband grew even more, grew so into such a beautiful space, much deeper and much more fulfilling place. Um, my health improved, my sleep improved. I'd struggled with sleep my entire life. Um, my business grew by 50%. So a whole range of things changed, and all of my relationships with my family and my friends changed when I really started working with my energy inside of myself. So that was, that was really, if you like, exit the matrix.

Mark number 2. Number 2, can I bring you just back to just that link between energy is everything and, you know, as within, without, you're creating this beautiful, you know, peaceful opportunity to forgive yourself and not be perfect and not have the anxiety about not being perfect and what's outside the world, what's inside the world, and you're in this beautiful space. That, that kind of what interests me is energy is everything. And then what energy is frequencies and then sound. So I mean, I know you've coached people who've given speeches at the UN, like you, you know, the power of the voice. And so it's kind of like it's, it's interesting having had that professional expertise as well and knowing how the voice can actually affect people, then going to sound. I'd love to hear just a little bit more about that sound healing because I'm thinking Exit the Matrix number 3 is coming up and sound might be part of it.

Okay, well, that's really fun. So yes, so sound is, it's a really, it's a profound healing tool. So now I give public sound baths and I give sound baths on my retreats and so on and so forth because I believe in the power of it so much. So what sound does, we're all energy and vibration. And the sound, when it's played intentionally and with love, and we, we're in a position to take it in, it actually calms the body at an incredibly deep level. And the science— what we know, and we don't— we never want to overstate things. I always work within the scientific bounds. But what we know in sound healing is that, um, what is— what a beautiful sound healing session can do for you is it can actually help bring your body into a state of deep relaxation and calm. And then that allows the body then to it reduces inflammation and allows, allows the body to rest and repair and the organs to do what they want to do. But so that's at this level of sound healing. The voice itself is deeply encoded with messages and energy, and that's why— and, and this is the next step of my work actually, is in terms of when I'm working with people, um, as they are looking to present, is how do they tap into that full range of energy? Because there is a whole lot of energy and emotion that we can convey through our voices that particularly people in professional capacities have been taught to, again, stay inside the matrix. And you'll hear people speak and they'll have a very flat line and they'll speak in a very sort of narrow modulation of not high, not low, and certainly not high, but always in this sort of middle range. That it's actually not allowing access to their authenticity and who they really are and what they're really feeling about a particular situation. But if you think about all the great leaders and all of the great presenters that you've heard speak, and we have got great orators in our time, people like Barack Obama and so on and so forth, and you look at how they are fully engaged in their vocal range, and they are fully there, and, and you are drawn in. Uh, another person who was, who was incredible that everyone knows and loves is beautiful Brené Brown, and she does this as well. And so she, because she is so authentically there, she's so energetically there, but she uses her, her full vocal range.

So this is, I guess, it's a secret weapon we all have, we just don't know about it.

Absolutely. And it kind of, when we're exiting the matrix, This is part of it. It is a secret weapon. And our whole body actually getting, you know, our whole body is actually a frequency tool that we need to learn how to use more effectively. And that's really the next step of my work is really teaching people how to step into, how to step into their bodies fully, how to use that frequency range emotionally, mentally, in their physical body. But also in terms of then how they are communicating to the world, you know, when they want to find their voice, if they want to find their voice and communicate with the world.

Now, I know that you used this to help a physical situation as well, didn't you?

Yes, I did. So, so my— so would you like me to talk about my— I'd like stage 3, number 3.

Bring on number 3, because what I love about this is that, um, It's so random on how it happened, right? I know, random. Tell me about it.

Random or not, that's the question really. It was interesting at the time. So then in, in January 2022, I had another, another physical knock on the door. I was literally— I was doing something pretty unglamorous. I was actually— I'd taken our dog out for a walk, I'd put her in the garden gate, I was on my way to an early morning yoga class, and I thought, I'll just take those bins out. So I spun really quickly in my old Birkenstocks, who have been retired now, and I— my feet, it was like someone had pulled my feet out from underneath me, and my feet shot up into the air, and my hips just hit the cement really hard. And I threw my arm up really quickly to protect my head, and I ended up— I think I blacked out for a minute because I ended up on the other side of my body. But I couldn't move. I was lying on the cement for 40 minutes until the ambulance came. Long story short, I had my— I had a real wake-up call. I had broken my pelvis, the foundational bone of my body, and my arm. So I couldn't walk for 3 and a half days. I was in hospital for 9 days. I came home. I was completely— my family had to support me, and I had beautiful support from my family. It was, it was incredible. But it was the wake-up of the matrix number 3 because I hadn't stepped into my deeper work. So I was working more energetically with clients, you know, in that corporate space. And I was, I was talking about energy. I was starting to talk a bit about frequency and vibration and I was doing that work, but it was a little bit on the down low. It was a little bit woo woo, right? Woo woo. Yep.

The CEOs to know they're tapping into their inner intuition and energy, even though they'll talk about about the fact that it was an intuitive decision that I bought that company.

Yes, exactly, exactly right. So it was a bit, it was a bit woo, and I, and it was really beautiful. And I need to honor one beautiful male CEO. I want to really highlight him. And he actually was very interested in the work I was doing. And so I did quite a bit of work with him and his executive team. And, and I took a sound bowl into it, you know, a workshop retreat with them and did some sound healing work with them. So I did have this, the door had opened and I was doing little bit of the work, but, but not a lot. And I think this was—

and you were given an opportunity to step right into it.

Well, that's exactly right. Well, yes, I had to. Then I had— so with this accident, I had, you know, 3 or 4 weeks where I, I really was at home. I was, I was still doing some work, but I was very stationary, and I had some time to think. And I saw this really as a, as a wake-up call in terms of I've got to get on and really go into this work at the next level. And the piece that I hadn't been doing was working with women and really in this space of women's empowerment and really helping women connect to their energy and connect to their hearts. And so I'd had the thing in the background was this, um, dream that had been around for 10 years to do a women's retreat in Bali. And so I had this time in January of 2022, January, February 2022, to go, okay, it's time to make this happen. Because it was a serious accident. If I hadn't thrown my head up and put my arm up and protect my head, who knows what could have happened. I could have had a head injury, a more serious back injury. Um, I knew— I— the message was, life's short, you've got to get on with it. And so I did.

And you used the techniques to help heal yourself too?

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. So I did a lot of meditation, and a big realization was, was that when we get ill— and I acknowledged I love Western medicine. I wouldn't be sitting here today without it. But we need to— we can sometimes fall into the trap of outsourcing to the doctors, to a tablet, to a nurse, to a physio, rather than taking full responsibility for our own healing. So I stepped in and started meditating, um, very deeply on the areas of my body that needed support, and I healed really quickly. Um, I had been doing a lot of yoga. I was pretty fit, so that— I've been told that's helped as well. So Anyway, summary, long story short, I feel like I've been speaking for quite a while now, but you have had 3 major experiences. In summary, I saw that year I went to Bali to scout for a retreat venue. In September of 2023, I held my first retreat in Bali, and it was a really beautiful experience. Um, incredibly power— very incredibly accomplished professional women coming together. Women who get like me, you know, many years before, look like they had it all together on the outside, but when looking for a place to, to really reconnect with their hearts and to connect with their purpose and to have a place. And my, my focus was for, to really help them to, for, for them as women to really step in and, and to understand their greatness and that they have within them this incredible beauty and, uh, capability and love and, and ability for joy and bliss that they may not have realized. Because a lot of women, we give out to a lot of people around us. We're really good at giving, not so great at receiving. So the retreat was all about helping these— really raising these women up and helping them, helping them see how beautiful in fact they, they are and, um, and what they can do with that. So it was a beautiful experience.

And I have to, you know, comment here that, you know, you, you went through this journey, you know, and, you know, what do they call it, Dante's level of hell a few times. Yeah. Like the realization to go, well, you know, yes, you do have this communication brand strategist, you know, incredible corporate positioning, but you can share it. And you were seeing women even in board situations who, you know, didn't have a voice or were getting to a point of exhaustion and overwhelm. You then had the impetus to go, hmm, actually I've got this significant physical extreme event that has repurposed you, and now you're bringing everything together with a particular reference to women. And I had the joy of working and supporting you in pulling that retreat together. And what, you know, when I often work with people, you know, I'm all in, I love what they're doing and they're supporting, etc. But just seeing, you know, the, the, the beautiful experiences that you had planned and you had organized throughout that, you know, that 7-day retreat for them, and just hearing the transformations for women who are, you know, at home feeling overexhausted, women on board feeling overexhausted, you know, we come from from all walks of life, let's face it. But, uh, I was— that when you said that you're going to do, uh, the next retreat, I'm like, hell yeah, put me down as number one because I'm all in. So, so October this year, this is 2024. If you're listening to this in 2025, Jane runs them every year. I am all in on October. I'm number one. I think I was number one on the list. There's only 11 people who can go. I'm trying to bring all my friends, so I'm Just as a quick aside, Reconnect Retreat Bali, I'll put some links below, but come join me and Jen. We're gonna have an amazing time, 'cause I know I've seen what she has planned and what she did last time. And I know there's a lot of people coming from last time, so getting quick so we can get our seats. But Jen, just as a, I'm just gonna put that aside for a moment because just as you know, you've been sharing your story, it, when you see people who have like the early 20s, life, they have the perfect life, or you see someone like yourself who's coaching people who are standing on stage at the UN or, you know, working with, you know, international boards on, you know, putting out big communications and you're working for, you know, people with pitches, etc. Everything does look beautiful, but as you've said, you know, there's a humanity about it and sometimes there is an inner calling and there's something that you can't ignore. And you had a number of stages where you had those callings, you're like, this is sliding door moment. And not only did you— were you aware of that happening, you took action from it. And I think that's where the difference is. And for people who listen to this podcast is often we kind of get into our lives and have these sliding door moments and we don't even see them. And you know what I love about your story is that there was a number of wake-ups, but you know, you've, you've fully embodied not just, you know, your, your professional genius and your personal spiritual genius. You've brought that together to help elevate other people who are going through that and they're sitting there going, yeah, maybe I just feel a little anxious, or maybe, you know, I'm not turning up how I want to be, or maybe I just don't feel right. And, you know, I think a lot of us at some stage have that feeling and we don't have the name. Call it anxiety, call it perfectionism, call it, you know, societal expectations of you know, family, elderly parents, kids who can't get it right, partners who are struggling. So, you know, I really appreciate you sharing your story. And just on a light note, I'm going to ask you a question which I ask everyone just for fun. What's something that people don't know about you? What's something surprising and different?

Well, this is surprising and different, and it relates back to my early in my corporate career. Had an interesting question one day. We had a client who found a beautiful woman, great client, and then a managing director said, "We need to get together for a brainstorm. Our client needs something special from us." I was like, "Okay, fine." It was an after-work brainstorm. Okay, fair enough. And it turned out this beautiful client of ours was looking for a donor egg because this is many years ago now in Australia, it was 20 years ago. And things were a bit different then. She, she needed— if she wanted to have children, she needed a donor egg, but you couldn't buy them in Australia. It was a very difficult situation. So what I did was I attended the brainstorm, and then I literally approached it like a marketing problem. And then in that moment, I thought— I said to the group, I said, I know, I, I know the person. I, I know the person who will be able to— who will donate these eggs. And so long story short, there are two beautiful girls on this planet born to that family.

From a corporate marketing after-hours strategy session.

There you go. With chips and wine. That's right.

Inspire everything. Well, thank you so very much. For people who want to reach out to Jen, I'm going to put the links in the show notes. Please come join us for the Reconnect Retreat in Bali in October 2024. I imagine it'll probably be around the same date 2025. Jen's also suggested that she's more than happy to offer a bit of a quiz for those people who think that they might be on the track to burnout and exhaustion. So there's a bit of a self-identification awareness opportunity there for you as well. I'll send that information to you in the show notes. Check it out. And thank you very much, Jen. I really appreciate you sharing your story.

Jane, thanks so much for having me. And, you know, just sending lots of love to all of your listeners. You know, this is such a great place to be if you're wanting to really exit the matrix. Jane is an incredible mentor. She's one of the most beautiful, big-hearted human beings I have ever met in my entire life. And if you want to exit the matrix, I would be certainly working with her. So thanks so much for having me, Jane. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

I appreciate that. Well guys, that is a wrap for another episode of Exit the Matrix. Exit the Matrix Stories of Success with another awesome guest. And I just hope that you enjoyed it as much as we enjoy actually recording these. Now, if you would like to help me out, I would really appreciate it. Let's hack that algorithm and exit the matrix and let it know that everyone loves this podcast so much. So if you listen to this on iTunes, on your mobile, go through, go down bottom, scroll, find the 5-star review button, leave us a 5-star review. And head over to exitthematrix.io because if you subscribe, I can let you know when the next episode is going to drop and also give you a free gift. So it has been wonderful talking to you today, Jen. It's wonderful to have you listen to us. And as always, here is to your success.

Thank you for listening to Exit the Matrix Stories of Success. Make sure you subscribe to future episodes at www.exitthematrix.io. Until next time, here's to your success.