Coach Jay Shaw walks through his Identity 2.0 framework for beating self-doubt and procrastination. The core idea: your subconscious mind runs on feeling and identity, not willpower or affirmations. He maps a 12-dimensional identity diagnostic and the 5 C's process to align who you think you are with who you want to become.
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Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Let's get y'all some sound in here. Okay. All right, there we go. Y'all should. Everybody should have what they need now. Okay, let me clip this on. Let me clip this on. All right, we running late. I'm gonna give y'all, yeah, about 45 minutes or so. I got a session there at 12 that I gotta get to, but I'm back. What's going on, Queen? What's going on, K? What's going on, Al? How y'all doing? What's Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Hopefully everybody having an amazing day. We're gonna be talking about what we always talk about, the fact that you could be doing, have anything you desire. The fact that nothing can stop you except for you. The only limit in life is you. If you could think it, you could do it. If you can't think it, then obviously you can't do it. Gotta be able to think it before you can do it. Gotta be able to hold it in your head before you hold it in your hands. Uh, what's going on, Linda? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Hey, Jay. Welcome, welcome, welcome. What's up, Wendell? How you doing? We just getting started, y'all, giving the algorithm time to do its job. We in several different places. We on TikTok, we on Facebook, we on YouTube. What's up, everybody? So if I miss any comments, just keep in mind it's a lot going on. Say it again. Building the thinking. You got to build the thinking first, man. But the thing about it is once the thinking picks up momentum, the doing kick in accidentally. Think about things that piss you off. Watch what the body do. Think about things that make you sad. Watch what the body does. Think about things that excite you. Watch what the body does. The body follows the mind. The body follows the mind. Send the mind. Stop trying to force the body and start sending the mind. If you send the mind, guess what's right behind it? If you send the mind, guess what's right behind it? The body. Every single time. Send the mind. Send your mind to your success. Send your mind to your greatness. Send your mind to your desires. Guess what? The body got no choice but to come. But if you send your mind to your failure, if you send your mind to what hasn't been working, if you send your mind to what you don't like, guess what's coming right behind it? The body. The body follows the mind. Send your mind to success. That's why I'm so heavy on those 12 dimensions. What would you believe if you already had it? How would you talk to yourself if you already had it? What would you be paying attention to if you already had it? You got to send the mind, but not just pieces of the mind. That's why I'm not a big fan of affirmations. Affirmations send pieces of the mind. It's sending the belief architecture, but it's leaving behind the somatic identity. It's leaving behind temporal orientation. It's leaving behind expectation patterns. So it builds this unbalanced identity because your identity is only going to be as strong as its weakest link. So that's why I'm always saying take the identity diagnostic so we can see exactly what's going on. It's subconscious. You gotta understand subconscious. Subconscious literally means under your consciousness. So you trying to use your logic, your reason and analysis to analyze a mind that doesn't run off of logic, reason and analysis. The subconscious runs off of feeling and emotion. Subconscious mind runs off of feeling and emotion. You ever seen a couple arguing and the lady is saying, well, I just feel like you don't do such and such such. And the man is saying, well, I don't think that You take— understand how much time it takes. She said, I feel like if you care, you would make time for me. He say, I don't think you understand. One person is talking about what they think, another person is talking about what they feel, and they're going to get nowhere. That's the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious. Your conscious is talking logic, reason, and analysis, trying to make sense out of things, and your subconscious is trying to feel safe. Your subconscious mind is just running toward what feels familiar. What's going on, Miss Kyle? How you doing? So you got to start building the feeling. You got to start building the mental environment that you would be in if you already had the result. Now the result doesn't feel like a threat to the subconscious mind, and it'll start pushing you toward it instead of repelling you from it. You could be, do, and have anything you desire, but you gotta be it first. You gotta be it first. If you could think it, you could do it. But if you can't think it, you can't do it. And if you can feel it, you'll do it on accident. If you could feel it, you'll do it on accident. So you got to really get into the habit of asking yourself, what am I? Who am I being? Not what am I doing? Who am I being? You had a breakdown at 7 a.m., but you're good now. Way to pull yourself back. Way to pull yourself back. What's going on, Trevor? What is up? What is up? What is up? And Kai, you still have access to um. Our portal. Take, take the identity diagnostic again. I wanna, I wanna see what that emotional baseline looks like. Take the identity diagnostic again. What you guys got going on, man? We in here hanging out, giving everybody time to get in. I know I'm a little bit later than usual. I had to go drop the car off at the dealership, but we're back now. You did it the other day? I'll take a peek at it when I get a chance. I will take a peek at it when I get a chance. I want to see what's, what's moving, what's sitting still in there. What's going on, R? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. Can't do the role model part. Okay, we'll figure it out. And on that role model part, sometimes I even have people use fictional characters from movies. They don't got to be real. We just need something to point the subconscious at. So the conscious mind don't give a— don't care if they real. They don't care if it's a character out the Bible. They don't care if it's a person you may— it just needs something to point at. Remember, this, this is the feeling and emotional mind. It has no logic, no reason, no analysis. It's not gonna say, but they not real. That's not the mind we're dealing with. That's not the mind we're dealing with. We're dealing with the childish mind. That's why the Bible say you have to be childlike to enter the— enter into the kingdom. We're dealing with that childlike mind. We're dealing with that imaginative mind. If you could describe it, it can do it. What's going on, Romika? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live, you guys. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Share, share, share, share, share. All of that stuff. All of that stuff. What's going on, Nikki? How you doing? What's up, Angela? If it's your first time in here, put a one in the chat. If you've been in here once or twice, maybe three times, put a two in the chat. If you're part of my crew to go live with us every day, go ahead and drop a three in the chat. Let me see who we talking to this morning. Let's see, Miss Kai with the three. Nothing much saying your content, but your first time here. Welcome, Key. Glad you can make it. Allow me to formally introduce myself. I'm Coach Jay. I'm the founder of Identity 2.0, and we coach bosses over here, man. We work with a lot of athletes, entrepreneurs, executives, founders, day traders, MMA fighters, and we get them out of their own way. We help them overcome things like procrastination, anxiety. Burnout, second-guessing theirself, low self-esteem, afraid of public speaking. Coach, I want to quit biting my nails. I want to quit smoking. I don't care. We help them get rid of the habits they don't want. We help them get rid of the things that's slowing them down so they can walk in, walk through life with their shoulders back, their chest out, their chin up. People tend to come over here after they do all the affirmations and the vision boards and the incantations and all of that, all of that stuff. They get all that out of the way, then they come over here and do what really works. Yeah, you got to build everything you desire from the inside out. It's your first time here too, Linda? Welcome, welcome, welcome. How did you find us, Linda? What's up, Angela? How you doing? Welcome to the live. What's up, Chrissy? How you doing? Welcome to the live. Welcome to the live. We just chilling, guys, hanging out, man, giving people time to get in. If anybody got any questions, drop them. You better drop them before I get in one of my rants, because I— when I start flowing, I don't be looking at comments. So if you got any questions, now would be a great time to ask. That would be a really good time next. I'm gonna do— I'm gonna do about 40 minutes. I got a— I got a session at 12, but I'm gonna do about 40 minutes. I was gonna skip today and I say no, I got a little time, we can get on even if we don't go on as long as we wanted to. As long as we use it, we can still get on. Appreciate you, Angela. Am I hiring assistants? We getting to that point. We get— we, we getting to that point. We just hired an editor because if I never had to edit another YouTube video or another anything, I would be— I would be— well, I am a really happy man, but boy, I would really enjoy that. So we just hired an editor, but, um, We, we, we definitely headed in that direction. We definitely headed in that direction. I'm entering into a season of delegation. A friend of mine gave me your info the other day, so I came and heard and subscribed so I can get notified on your life. Okay, what's going on, Raw? How you doing? Welcome to the live. That's what's up. Shout out to your friend for sharing the information. Well, um, Linda, if you have any questions, I'm more than happy to answer them. At some point, I'm gonna go on one of my rants. But right now, we just chilling, giving the algorithm time to get in here and do its thing. What's going on, Deborah? Keep you in mind. Send me an inbox key. Send me. It's so much stuff in my mind. You don't want to get dropped off in there. Will, will. I'm not gonna remember. Send me. Send me an inbox or a DM or something. Then I can take a screenshot of it. Yeah. And even my daughter. My daughter tell me something. She be like, Dad, put it in your phone. I be like, Riley, I got it. She like, No, Dad, put it in your phone. Like you. Right. Let me put it in. If it ain't in this phone, it don't, it don't, it didn't happen. For sure, for sure, for sure. Somebody say, listen here, boy. Somebody bored. Somebody bored. Oh man. But guys, the fact of the matter is you could be doing, have anything you desire. Ain't nothing you can't be. Ain't nothing you can't do. Ain't nothing you can't have. Your only limit is your identity. Y'all do me a favor and put the word identity in the chat. You're gonna get tired of hearing me say that word because it's the doorway to everything you desire. Identity, identity, identity, identity, identity. When you see somebody who has something that you want, instead of going, man, how did they get that? How did they do that? I would love it for you if you became the type of person who said, I wonder what was their identity en route to that. Identity is the recipe. Identity is the recipe. Imagine if you came to me, you say, Coach Jay, I really want to manifest a cake. I said, okay, do me a favor, forget about the cake, go get you a bowl. You say, Coach, I don't want a bowl, I want a cake. I said, if you want a cake, go get a bowl. And you go and you get a bowl. Now you're gonna go instantly get a bowl. You don't got to do no affirmations to get a bowl. You don't got to do no vision board to get a bowl. You don't got to do no incantation, no journaling, no scripting. You don't got to go get no crystals. You don't got to wait for the moon to come out of retrograde. Mercury to come out of retrograde. You don't got to do none of that. You can go in your kitchen and you can come back with a bowl instantly. Okay, I'm gonna say, okay, go get some sugar. Same thing, go get some flour, go get some— now you thinking, Coach, I don't want this stuff, I want a cake. Well, do you not understand that the cake is made out of this stuff? If you just go get this stuff and put this stuff in the oven, this stuff has no choice but to become a cake. You don't got to sit here and manifest the cake. Go get the ingredients for the cake. If you want to manifest something, manifest the ingredients for the cake. Stop sitting there waiting for a cake to fall out of thin air. Go grab the confidence. Go grab the belief architecture. Go grab the attention. People who already have that result, what do they believe about themselves? Okay, well, they'll go one of the ingredients. People who already have that result, what do they expect out of themselves? What do they expect out of others? Okay, they'll go another one of the ingredients. People who already have that result, what's their temporal orientation? How do they exist in time? How do they talk to themselves? If you go get that and just put it in the environment, oh man, it ain't got no choice but to become a cake. It ain't got no choice but to become a car, a house, a business, a relationship. Get the ingredients and put it in the environment. Those are those 12 dimensions. Those— that's the identity. The identity is the ingredients. All right, let's see. We got some comments in here. When you ask what do you want out of life, that's a lot of ground to cover financially, mentally, physically, dietary, from relationships, etc. So how do you handle covering it all? You don't cover it all. You pick one. So even like when you get into scripture and you look in Genesis and you watch the greatest creator of all time do his thing, he's creating one thing at a time. He, he, he's creating one thing at a time and he doesn't move to the next thing until he realizes that the previous thing is good. He realizes that the first thing is good. He said, okay, that's good. Then he moves to the next thing. If you keep trying to put out every fire at once, everything is gonna burn. Bitcoin. Pick one, Coach J. They all important. Unless you want all of them to burn, pick one. When we first moved from Washington State down to Dallas, I had to have a talk with my family. This is what we call values hierarchy in the 12 Dimensions. If you got all— if you know the 12 Dimensions, there's one called values hierarchy. Values hierarchy is the filter that decides what's priority 1, what's priority 2, what's priority 3. Whenever somebody— what's going on, Lux? Whenever somebody comes to me and say, Coach J, I struggle with overthinking, I know right away they don't have a values hierarchy. The values hierarchy is what stops you from overthinking. It was prevents overthinking. So we got to get we got to get a values hierarchy. But when I was moving from Dallas, I mean from Washington State down to Dallas, I had to sit down and tell my family like hey for the next five or six months or so identity 2.0 is going to be my top priority. So it don't mean that we won't go on no dates, but we it was gonna be less dates because identity 2.0 is my top priority. Doesn't mean that I won't be at any of your soccer games. But I'm going to be missing some soccer games because Identity 2.0, if we want to keep living how we live, driving where we drive, hanging out the place we hang out, Identity 2.0 has to be my top priority. Not forever, before this period of time. Now, because I made Identity 2.0 the priority for several months, now Identity 2.0 no longer has to be priority one because it's self-sufficient. But in order for it to get to that place where it was self-sufficient, where somebody's friend could tell them about us and they could come and word of mouth can do what it does. It had to become the priority. But if I never took a period of time to make it priority one, it wouldn't be doing what it's doing right now. One more question since we have the state of being: How do you stay in that place of being? So, are you familiar with the five C's, Raw? If you're not, I'm gonna put a book in the. I'm gonna put our ebook link in the chat for you. I could do it on YouTube. TikTok don't like when I just give out links. If anybody want the ebook and you on TikTok, inbox me. I'll send it to you. But I could just drop it over here in the chat on the YouTube. Give me a second. Grab that ebook there and it's going to— do you want me to list 5 C's for them? Listen, my Lux, let's see what you got, Lux. The 5 C's is where it's at. For those of you who new here, you don't know what I'm talking about when I say the 5 C's. The 5 C's is my success formula. I came up— well, I didn't even come up with the 5 C's. I discovered the 5 C's maybe 9 or 10 years ago. I was at a place in my life where I was jealous of my clients. I was looking at the results that they were getting and I was doing okay, but I wasn't— I didn't feel like I was getting the type of results they were getting. Looking back, I was just, I was just young and hungry and wanted everything yesterday. But I was jealous of my clients because I felt like they were moving faster than me, not realizing that most of them were 10 to 20 years older than me. So like they was just at a point in life where those things was lining up. But back then, I felt like they were leaving me behind. So what I did is I started looking at my most successful clients, and I started reverse engineering how we got the results that we got. And what I discovered is it was 5 things that I always did. It was 5 things that I always did with them. And I always did these 5 things in that order. And I would get— I was ruthless about my order. Don't screw my order up. How are we going to calibrate without clarity? How are we going to be confident and we ain't even got clarity? So we would run these 5 C's, and I would run these 5 C's into the ground. Back then they weren't called the 5 C's, it was just something that I did on accident. But after I discovered what we was doing, we started doing it on purpose. Oh man, things that used to take us 6 sessions, we started doing it in one. So the first C is clarity. Y'all say clarity in the chat. Clarity, clarity, clarity, clarity, clarity, clarity. Clarity is step one. A lot of people make the mistake because they be trying to do steps 2, 3, and 4 and 5, but they don't— they haven't did step one. Coach Jay, can you hypnotize me? Not without clarity. Not without clarity is step one. Coach J, can you hypnotize me? I don't even know what to hypnotize you for until we get clarity. So let's say something like, Coach J, I want to be confident. Okay, if you woke up tomorrow and you were confident, how would you know? Coach, like, I don't, I don't, I don't know all of that. Just make me confident. Okay, here's my problem with that. What if my definition of confidence is loud, boisterous, center of attention? Hey everybody, look at me. And your definition of confidence is Quiet, collected. I'll speak if I have something to say. I don't, I don't need the extra attention, Jay. I'm fine with not being in this spotlight. I like being behind the scenes. What, what if, like, confidence is what we call a nominalization? A nominalization is a noun that you can't put in a wheelbarrow. Like this ink pen, I could bring you a wheelbarrow full of pens, but I cannot bring you a wheelbarrow full of confidence. So if I ask 10 people what it means to be confident, I'm gonna get 10 different answers. So you can't just say, Jay, I want to be financially free. Jay, I want peace. Jay, I want to travel the world. No. If you woke up tomorrow and you had the ability to do that, you had the means to do that, what would that mean specifically to you? Does that make sense? You got to get clear about what you want. Most people don't know what they want. They think they know what they want, but what they actually know is what they don't want and what they're willing to do to get away from what they don't want. I've been doing this for a long time. Hey man, thanks for coming in today. How can I help you? Jay, I just can't keep doing this, man. I hate my job. I didn't ask you what you don't like. I asked you, how can I help you? What, what are we building? One of my favorite questions: what are we building? If you inbox me, hey Coach Jay, I need to pick your brain— what are we building? What are we building? Because when most people actually pick my brain, what they really mean is, Coach Jay, let me tell you about your— let me tell you about my problem. Let me tell you something, I don't care about your Your problem is that you care too much about your problem. You study your problem. You journal about your problem. You pray about your problem. You get on Facebook and join support groups about your problem. You get on ChatGPT and ask questions about your problem. You get on the phone and talk to your best friend about your problem. You get on TikTok and watch skits about your problem. You have mastered your problem and you're strangers to your solution. You are strangers to your solution. When you describe your problem, you could dot every i, you could cross every t. You got stories, you got hand gestures, you got facial expressions, you got evidence, you got proof. When you talk about the story, I just, just, just, I just want peace. Yeah, I just want financial freedom. Or if you really want to aggravate me, you're gonna say something like, yeah, I just want to live on my highest timeline. Yeah, I just, I just want a quantum leap. Yeah, I just want to open my third eye. Shut up. You weren't talking about metaphysics and metaphors and Time and time and timelines. When you're talking about what you don't— when you were talking about what you don't want, you were telling me real stories with real characters, and it was working on your real nervous system. It had real cortisol running through your real body. It was changing the way you feel. It was changing the way your reticular activation system works. It was locking you in fight or flight, taking you out of your parasympathetic nervous system. Look, see, here go the thing. I'm gonna open your third eye, but it ain't gonna be nothing metaphorical about it. What good is the third eye being open if the bank account still look the way that it always look? What's good is the third eye being open, but you still can't stand the person that you share a house with. Like, forget the third eye gonna open when you start living on purpose. That's how you open it. You don't open it by trying to open it. You open it by living on purpose. So we gotta, we gotta make it tangible. We gotta make it measurable. We gotta make it specific. Because a lot of people, a lot of these coaches, a lot of these therapists and different people on this, on this internet, they play with you and they have you paying them money for things that you can't measure. This is what I love about like helping people do things like quit smoking, helping people do things like lose weight. It's very measurable. Are you smoking? Yes or no? Is the scale moving down? Yes or no? When you come here with something like, Coach Jay, I just want to be happy, it's kind of hard to measure happy. Coach Jay, I just want to be successful. Depending on who you ask, you're already successful. Like, I like measurable, specific things, because it's really easy to BS you with these unmeasurable things and say, oh, you're just not doing the affirmations hard enough. Oh, you, you just don't want it bad enough. BS, BS, BS, BS. So when I talk about clarity, I'm talking about what do you want, not how do you get it. That's step 4. Not why you don't have it. That's not even one of the steps. Who cares? What do you want? Not what they told you to want, not what they're marketing to you, not what they trying to sell you. You got to realize we live in a time right now where you're being marketed to more than ever. When you watch a movie, the car that the star of that movie is driving, it's not an accident. The drink that they're drinking, it's not an accident. You think you're just watching a football game, the, the stuff that they're drinking on the, on the sideline, the stuff that you see in between the commercial, it's, it's all— it's hand-picked. I knew it was getting crazy a few years ago when, um, I was, I was at, um, like, we watch Netflix at my house. And, uh, it was the movie The Hangover. When they saw— when they showed the movie The Hangover on my Netflix, they show Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson only in The Hangover for maybe 3 minutes, but we're a Black household, so in my house when they show The Hangover on Netflix, they show Mike Tyson. I was at a white friend house and The Hangover came up. It had the 3 white guys from The Hangover on there, Stu and all of them. I said, oh, that's crazy, man. He said, what? I said, in my house when they show The Hangover, they show Mike Tyson. Because he one of the only Black people in the movie, and they know I'm more likely to click on it if I see somebody who looks like me. At your house, they show the 3 white guys. He said, man, it is crazy. Like, we live in a time where sometimes you feel like it's hard to know what you want because people are telling you what you want all day long, and they're doing it in a very sneaky, hypnotic way. Like, people don't understand, I get emails. Hey Jay, I'm opening up a store, and it's— I wanna— I'm doing something I never been did before. Can I pick your brain about The lighting and the layout of the store. Like when people go, I can't be hypnotized. Bullshit. You don't realize how much hypnosis is happening all around you when you walk into the store. There's certain things at the front of the store because they know you white, you really likely to turn around and just grab it on your way out. You're gonna notice that the fruity candy, the Starbursts and the Skittles, all of that is eye level with the children, where the mints and the gum and the chocolate is eye level with the adults. Like you are constantly being persuaded and it's happening so smoothly you don't even realize it. So in order to figure out what you want, you're gonna have to give up some of that screen time. You're gonna have to really be still and sit down and ask yourself, what do I want? What do I want? Not what they're selling me. Not, I'm a good mom, so a good mom would do this. I'm a good husband, so a good husband should do— no, not what you should do. And I'm not giving you just the out on your responsibilities. We'll get to that. But the version of you who's calibrated to what they want, oh man, they gonna handle those responsibilities from a whole different place than the version of you who's calibrated to what you don't want. Figure out what you want. Figure out what you want. My whole life changed quickly when I figured out what I wanted. Y'all know what I wanted? It was simple. I used to be in the military. I hated being in the military. Couldn't grow my beard, couldn't wear my nose ring, couldn't braid my hair, couldn't get online and say whatever I wanted to say. They wouldn't— hey, you got to take that down. The commander said you can't do— you can't do— I, I wanted freedom. I wanted choice. I wanted to grow my beard. I wanted to wear my nose ring. And the biggest one to really unlock some things for me was I don't want to work. I want to play. I don't want to work. I want to play. I want to get paid to do things that I would do for free. I want to get paid to have the time of my life. I want to get paid to have conversations that I would have had for free. I want to get paid to go sit on podcasts that I would have went on for free. I want to get paid to talk to people that I would have talked to for free. I want to get paid to do things that I wouldn't do for free. I don't want my money connected to my stripes. I want my money connected to my passion. I want my money connected to my creativity. I want my money connected to my hobbies. That was one of the first layers of clarity that I got. Now understand this: I did not sit down one day and say, "I'm starting something called Identity 2.0, and I'm gonna hypnotize athletes, entrepreneurs, and executives, founders, and day traders." It didn't start there. No, that was that was coming. That's coming from years and years and years of me getting clear. Clarity doesn't happen in one sitting. Clarity doesn't. Coach Jay, I'm struggling with clarity. No, you're not. You're just not. Finish yet. But if you keep getting in your head and asking what you, what you want, if you build a habit of every time you see something you don't like, you start following up with the magic question. If you come in here a lot, you already know what the magic question is. What would I rather have? Like, most people literally get hypnotized by what they don't want, and they so hypnotized by what they don't want that they can't see beyond it. I see it all the time in my office. Somebody come in for a first session, I say, hey, how can I help you? Coach Jay, I can't keep doing this. I said, how can I help you? Coach Jay, I can't keep doing this. I've been working at this company for 5 years. I got a master's degree and they only pay me $50,000 a year. What am I supposed to do with $50,000 a year in this economy? I got a friend that don't even have a degree, Jay, and he make $84,000 a year. How does a man without a degree make $30,000 more than a man with a degree? And my wife is nagging constantly. Jay, when I first started working at this company, I never had to work weekends. About 2 months ago, they started making me work every other weekend. She's nagging about that. Like, I want to be at the office and I want to miss the soccer games. And it's like as if it's not one thing, it's enough. I said, well, hey, let me ask you something. What do you want? Well, Jay, I just feel like nobody— Listen, hey, but I didn't say how do you feel about what you don't like. I said what do you want? Well, Jay, I just don't think anybody understands. Hey, I didn't ask you what you think people understand or don't. Listen, hey, 1, 2, 3, wide awake. What do you want? Because right now you're hypnotized by what you don't want. You so hypnotized by what you don't want that I've asked you what do you want 5 times and the only thing you've told me is what you don't want. And that's why you got so much of it. What do you want? You, you gotta figure out what you— you, you, you have zero chance of getting what you want until you define what you want. Your chances of getting what you want when you don't know what you want are none. You have 0% chance of getting what you want when you don't know what you want. And your relationships are going to suffer because of it. Your money is going to suffer because— you know why your relationships are going to suffer because of it? Because eventually you're going to start resenting somebody, and that somebody is invisible because that somebody is you. But you're gonna pick the person who's, who's closest to you. You always here when I feel this way, so it must be you. And they say, well, hey, what do you need from— I don't know, you should, you should just be able to figure it out. Like, you don't, you, you don't even know what you need. How if you inside of your nervous system and can't put your finger on what you need, how somebody outside of your nervous system supposed to be able to figure out what you need? So you gonna blame it on the wife, you gonna blame it on the kids, you gonna blame it on the husband, you gonna blame it on the job, but you are the common denominator in all of it. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. So you leave that relationship, you go to another one. Only to find you can't find your happiness neither. Your happiness is buried behind what you want. Your happiness is buried behind what you want, and happiness is a full-time job. And another thing is happiness is a choice. Sometimes it's a really hard choice to make. Doesn't change the fact that it's a choice. Sadness is a choice. Sometimes it's a really easy choice to make. Doesn't change the fact that it's a choice. But back to clarity. You got to figure out what you want, and as you figure out what you want, check this out. Don't confuse what you want with the list of things that you got to do to get what you want. Don't confuse what you want with a list of things that you got to do to get what you want. They're not the same thing. They're not the same thing. Okay, I'm gonna give you an example. Let me, let me like really just spell it out for you. It was a guy I helped him quit smoking maybe 2 years ago at this point. So he, um, booked another session, came to the office. He said, Jay, I need you to hypnotize me to go to the gym 2 times a week. No, 3 times a week. I said, okay, that's easy. What do you want? He said, Jay, I just told you, I want to go to the gym 3 times a week. I say, that's not what you want. That's what you think you got to do to get what you want. I don't got to hypnotize you to do things that you want to do. I got to hypnotize you to do things that you know you should do, but you don't want to do them. So I'm not asking you what you know that you need to do. I'm asking you, what do you want? He goes, Jay, my doctor said— Let me stop you right there. I don't, I don't care what your doctor said, because if your doctor saying it was the solution, you wouldn't be sitting in my office, so that can't be what I'm looking for. What do you want? Well, Jay, my wife's talking about my cholesterol. I got my own wife to listen to. I don't care what yours talking about. What do— listen, hey, come here. Listen to what I'm asking you. What do you want? What do you want? And we played this game for about 30 minutes, and finally he said, Jay, can I be honest with you? I say, please do, because I'm kicking you out of my office in 30 minutes. What do you want? He goes, J man, I'm I'm forty-two years old, and um and as I get older, my erections not as hard as they used to be. And I lit up. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Okay, now we know what you want. You want rock hard erections? He goes, Yeah, I guess so. What do you mean you guess so? You want rock hard erections or not? He goes, Yeah, I want rock hard erections. Okay, let me ask you a question. How would you feel if you already had rock hard erections? He goes, huh? I say, it's a weird question, not a hard question. No pun intended, all right? But it's a weird question, not a hard question. How would you feel if you already had rock-hard erections? What would you believe if you already had rock-hard erections? What would you expect if you already had rock-hard erections? What would be going on inside of your body if you already had the rock-hard erections that you have? And eventually he comes out of his shell and he starts, and I, I don't feel like I had energy. I feel like I had vigor. I feel like I was in my prime again. I feel like I could satisfy my wife. I feel like a man again. I say, cool, let's get you hypnotized. Because guess what? I'm not gonna hypnotize him to go to the gym. I'm gonna hypnotize him to feel like he has energy. I'm gonna hypnotize him to feel like he has energy and like he has vigor. I'm gonna hypnotize him to feel like a man again. I'm gonna hypnotize him to feel like he can satisfy his wife. Let me ask you this, once he feels like he has energy Once he feels like he has vigor, once he feels like he's in his prime again and he can satisfy his wife, how much willpower do you think he's going to need to go to the gym? When I feel like I got energy, when I feel like I got vigor, when I feel like I'm in my prime, you're gonna have a hard time keeping me out of it. I don't need willpower to go to the gym. I need willpower to go leave the gym and go spend some time with my family. Does that make sense? People will try to use the willpower to push through the feelings. That's like— you gotta understand, procrastination is usually a protective mechanism. Overthinking is usually protective, making making it. It's your nervous system saying, "Oh, stay here. That's not safe." Uh uh. That's not safe. What you got to do is say, "Why is it not safe?" Nervous. I got. Here go the energy right here. That story that I was telling that was making us say that story is gone. What what what are you protecting me from? And then you never said, "Oh, take your ass to the gym. Let's go." Does that make sense? It's not about stopping the behavior. It's about figuring out what do I want. I got to let my nervous system know that that's. That's not dangerous. That's not dangerous. I can have it. I can handle it. I know what to do with that. And as you do that, you're gonna accidentally start to do the things that you want to do. But the root of it is I got to get clear about what you want. He didn't want to go to the gym. He wanted energy. He wanted vigor. He wanted rock-hard erections. He wanted energy. He wanted vigor. He wanted rock-hard erections. Now, when I got him in the state that he would be in as he— if he had those things, he's gonna accidentally go to the gym. Why? Because you got energy, you got vigor, you feel like you're in your prime. Why would I want to go to the gym when I feel less than a man? Why would I want to go to the gym when I don't even got enough energy to satisfy my wife? Why would I want to go to the gym when I just feel like, hey, this age thing is getting the best of me? Why do I want to go to the gym, be around all these younger men who are in their prime, who feel the things that I want to feel, and I don't feel that way? No, I don't got to make you go to the gym. I got to make you feel how you— I got to give you what you really want. Confidence, energy, vigor. And as you sit in that state, you're gonna accidentally do the things that a man who feels that way does. So a few weeks later, guess what, Jay? I don't know what you did to me, man, but I'm in the gym, I'm drinking more water, I'm looking good, man. My doctor was talking about putting me on some pills. He said I don't need them, man, just keep doing what I'm doing. Duh. We changed you from the inside out, not the outside in. But we can't do none of that until we get clear about what you want. Do y'all understand why I'm so like Big on clarity now. Put a one in the chat if you understand the importance of clarity. Everything that you desire is on the other side of clarity. Everything that you desire is on the other side of clarity. You're gonna have a hard time doing the second C, which is calibration, if you don't got clarity, because the clarity is what you calibrate to. What's going on, Lucky? The clarity is literally what you calibrate to. Does that make sense? There's nothing to calibrate to without clarity. There's nothing to hypnotize without clarity. When you don't got clarity and you're doing 8 billion affirmations a day, I feel sorry for you because you know what you're doing? Confusing the hell out of your nervous system. You're saying things like, I'm, I'm booked and busy, I'm booked and busy, I got one client coming out and another client coming in, people are lining up to work with me, I'm booked and busy, I'm booked and busy, I'm in high demand, I'm booked out for the next 7 months. Then the next affirmation is, I have unlimited time freedom. I sleep in. I travel the world. I take three-month-long vacations. How the hell are you booked and busy, and you sleeping in and taking unlimited three-month-long? How you got unlimited time, freedom, and all these? What do you want, sir? Slow down. You just on Pinterest collecting affirmations. You just on TikTok screenshotting every positive thing you see without clarity. And you got this internal tug of war going on inside. Let's slow down and figure out what you want. Not what they trying to sell. You got to be really careful with this internet shit because everybody. Is trying to sell you something. Everybody is trying to sell you something. So you can't let the people who trying to sell you the stuff tell you what you want. You got to turn that off and go figure out what you want, because they want you to buy what they're trying to sell. Right or wrong? Right or wrong? Of course, like, when you go like sit in on workshops that teach selling, they— you know what they teach you? To sell the people their pain. Sell them their pain. Get them really sitting in their pain, and as they feel that pain, that's when you offer your solution. That's not what we do here. We're gonna get you motivated. We're gonna get you inspired. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you making. I'm gonna get you making more money, and you're gonna say, "Wait a minute! If I start feeling this better, I start feeling this much better. If I start feeling this much more, making this much more money, listening to the free stuff, I want some of that stuff he sells." Then you gonna decide to come over here and get. I ain't got to twist your arm and make you go sit in your. No, come out of those negative feelings. That's where you buy stuff that don't really work. When you sitting in the feelings of what you don't want, the stuff that actually do work feel like a scam because it's a vibe. It's not a vibrational match for where you sitting at. But that's why we got to get clarity. Step one is clarity. Now I'm gonna give you another piece on clarity. I don't usually go this deep on the live, but we here now and I can just feel it. Somebody needs to hear this. So when we talk about clarity, you got to understand you got a conscious mind and you got a subconscious mind. You got a conscious mind and you got a subconscious mind. What's going on? Get digital. And the conscious mind and the subconscious mind want two very different Different things. Okay, the conscious mind, that's your logic, that's your reason, that's your analysis, that's your willpower, that's your decision-making. That's the conscious mind— logic, reason, analysis, willpower, decision-making. Your subconscious mind runs off of feeling and emotion. Now, have you guys ever seen like a picture of an iceberg and you got that little piece on the top? It looks huge until you see the bottom of it. Put a 1 in the chat if you've ever seen that before. Put one in the chat if you ever seen an iceberg before. It looks huge. It looks huge until you see the bottom of the top of the iceberg. That's your conscious mind. That's the logic, the reasoning, the analysis, the willpower, the decision making. The bottom of that iceberg—that's the subconscious mind. That's the feeling and the emotion. That's the feeling and the emotion. That's where the decisions are made. That's where the decisions are made. So when you getting clarity, okay, the first layer of clarity is going to be your conscious mind, your masculine mind. What's going on, Coach Randall? Your, your conscious mind, your masculine mind, your logic, your reason, your analysis. That's the part of you that wants the money, the car, the relationship, the house, the business, the result. Your subconscious mind don't care about none of that. None of that. Your subconscious mind cares about feeling and emotion. Feeling and emotion. So if you only got the subjective side of the goal— I mean, if you only got the objective side of the goal, the money, the house, the car, the promotion, the result— you, you left out the biggest part of the iceberg. The ice— the bottom part of the iceberg is after the feeling. The bottom part of the iceberg doesn't care about a million dollars. All right, I'm in TikTok Studio. The bottom part of the iceberg doesn't care about a million dollars. Cares about security, cares about independence, it cares about freedom, it cares about choice. So when you're talking to your conscious mind, you talk to— you talk about the million dollars. But if you go talk about your million dollars and you think it's going to motivate your subconscious mind, I got, I got news for you, it's not. Like, let's take it a step further. When I hypnotize somebody to quit smoking, my job is not to let them know that cigarettes give you cancer. They know that already. My job is not to let them know that they are spending money to poison themselves. They know that already. They got all the logic, all the reason, all the— they know all of that already. My job is to make them feel like a nonsmoker. That's all I got to do is to make them feel like a nonsmoker. As they start to feel like a nonsmoker, they are going to accidentally— they're going to accidentally start to do what a nonsmoker does. Knowing that cigarettes give them cancer is not going to make them stop. You know why? Because anytime you put what you know up against what you feel, what you feel is going to win. Why? Because it's the bottom of that iceberg. Feeling has way more say in your nervous system than logic, reason, and analysis. So instead of chasing the million dollars, the question I really need you asking is: How would I feel if already had a million dollars? What would I believe if already had a million dollars? What would I expect if already had a million dollars? How would I talk to myself if already had a million dollars? What would be my internal dialogue if already had a million dollars? All twelve of those dimensions that we teach over here—what would all twelve of those look like if already had a million dollars? Get all the twelve of those million dollars. I mean, get all twelve of those dimensions running towards. Millionaire and watch what happens. Watch what happens. Does that make sense? What's going on, Mr. Peaches? Does that make sense? And that's what you got to calibrate to. You don't calibrate to the having the million dollars, you calibrate to the identity of the million. I work with a lot of athletes. First conversation I have with every athlete, hey man, you don't get a trophy and then become a champion. That's not what happens. What happens is you be a champion. You be a champion, and you gonna accidentally get a trophy. Ain't going, Jay. How the hell am I gonna be a champion, and I don't even have the trophy? Oh, that's easy, man. I'm glad you asked. We got to get you believing what champions believe. We got to get you expecting what champions expect. We got to get you thinking like champions think. We got to get you focusing on what champions focus on. We got to get you ignoring the things that champions ignore. As I get you running that internal programming of champion. Oh man, you're gonna accidentally start watching more film because that's what champions do. You're gonna accidentally start spending more time in the weight room because that's what champions do. You're gonna accidentally start showing up to practice early and leaving practice late because that's what champions do. You're gonna accidentally hold yourself to a higher standard, hold your teammates to a higher standard. That's what champions do. You're gonna accidentally win a trophy. You know why? Because that's what champions do. But if you need to get a trophy before you can be a champion, you'll never get a trophy. Trophies don't make champions, champions win trophies. Trophies don't win champions, champions win trophies. So if you need to get a trophy before you can be a champion, guess what? You can't have a trophy. If you need to get the money before you could be a millionaire, I hope you like being broke. Money does not make millionaires, and millionaires make money. If you want to make money, be a millionaire. Believe what millionaires believe, think what millionaires think, focus on what millionaires focus on. I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not a big fan of the Talk to yourself the way the millionaires talk to theyself, and as you do that, oh man, you gonna accidentally change your algorithm to that of a millionaire. You gonna accidentally start reading books that only a millionaire would reach for. You gonna accidentally start listening to podcasts that only a millionaire would reach for. You gonna accidentally have start having conversations that only a millionaire would have. You gonna accidentally ask Chat GPT a question that only a millionaire would think to ask. You gonna type things into YouTube that only a millionaire would think to type into YouTube. You gotta understand the version of you that broke it is not going to be the. Version of you that fixes it. Imagine this: you believe in what you always believe, thinking about what you always thinking about, focused on what you always focused on, feeling in your body the way that you always felt in your body, and you trying to use willpower to do a different behavior. It's not gonna work. It's not going to work. I don't care how many— I don't care how much you talk to yourself. I don't care if you do 8 billion affirmations a day. It's not gonna work. I don't care how many pictures you put on that damn vision board. It's not gonna work. I don't care if you do the 369 method, the 61224 method, The ten, twenty, thirty minutes. I don't care how many techniques you find online. Okay, how many crystals you buy? Okay, how long you stare at the damn moon is not gonna work until you change your identity. And people who really get this stuff, let me tell you something: my clients, especially people on the other side of the work after we do it, they don't run off of willpower. They don't run off of motivation, and they damn sure don't run off of affirmations. Excuse me, I get a little passionate when we talk about this stuff. They don't run off of that stuff. Willpower— let me tell you something about willpower. You only need willpower when you're going against your identity. What's going on, Miss Peaches? I can't remember if I spoke to you or not. You only need willpower when you're going against your identity. Think about it. When you pissed off, when you upset, when you pissed off, when you mad, when you angry, how much willpower do you need to stomp your feet? When you pissed off and you angry, how much willpower do you need to slam the door? How much willpower do you need to raise your voice when you pissed off? None. You don't need willpower to raise your voice. You need willpower to lower your voice when you pissed off. You need— you see how you need willpower to act other than how you feel? You don't need willpower to act in alignment with how you feel. You don't need willpower to act in alignment with how you think. You don't need willpower to act in alignment with the way that you already talk to yourself. You need willpower when you're trying to go against it. So what if you just use the willpower that you do got to change what you focus on, to change what you believe, to change the way you talk to yourself? That's what— that's the way that I use hypnosis. I don't use hypnosis to force behavior. I use willpower. I use hypnosis to change the mind. If I change the mind, guess what? The behavior ain't got no choice but to come with the mind. So that's what calibration is about. In step 1, clarity, we figure out what do we want? What do I want? What do I really want at my core? What I want. Not the politically correct answer, not the cute answer, not the— what do I want? What do I want? Not what my parents want for me, not what my spouse says I should want, not what culture says I should want, not what society says I should want. In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill introduces you to something called a burning desire. It's one of those early chapters in Think and Grow Rich. He talks about something called a burning desire. Guess what? The only place you're gonna find a burning desire is in what you want. Not in what the culture is telling you you should do. Not in what society is telling you you should do. Not the last thing that you saw on the internet and you saw somebody else making money doing that. And that's the problem with seeing people on the internet making money doing something and then you pick it just because they making money doing it. Let me show you why that's a problem. You might see me online hypnotizing people, motivating people, influencing people, and coaching. What you got to understand is you're watching me do something that I would do for free. This is my, this is my hobby. This is my job. This is when I go, when I go in a bookstore, I go straight to a section like this. When I look at my schedule and say, oh wow, I ain't got no clients today, guess what I'm gonna do? Study this. Yes. Guess what my best friends in the world do? This. Guess what the people that I hang out with do? This. And if you trying to do this to get— if you trying to compete against me to get money at doing something that I would do for free, Oh man, I feel sorry for you. Oh man, I'm about to wipe the ground with you. And here go the funny thing, I'm not even gonna be trying to wipe the game— wipe the ground with you. I'm just doing what I, what I do. I'm just doing what I would be doing rather you were there or not. Don't set yourself up for that. Figure out what you want. Figure out what you're passionate about. Figure out what you passionate about. Because when you in— when you in that example that I described, you are a bird trying to beat a fish at swimming. And then it starts to mess with your confidence. You go, maybe I'm not as smart. No, you, you just as smart as them, but maybe you just not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Figure out what you want. Figure out what you want, what you desire. But Jay, you don't understand, I got 5 kids. I didn't say go do it tomorrow. I said figure out what you want. Figure out what you want. That's literally step one. Figure out what you— but Jay, I don't— I'm 40 already. Jay, I'm 50. I didn't say do it. I said figure out what you want. What's going on, Lala? Does that make sense? Figure out what you want. When I first figured out what I wanted, I was in the military. I was in the military, had two kids already, was married. When I figured out what I wanted, I didn't go. I didn't go do it the next day, but I damn sure started thinking about it. I damn sure started calibrating toward it, and as I started calibrating toward it, oh man, I accidentally started. Finding a free moment here, free second there. My mama come and say, "I'm getting my babies this summer. Don't try to stop me." It's like shit. I thought you never. Y'all get y'all shoes. Y'all going to y'all grandma house. Daddy finna go take this workshop. Get what you scripture say you have not because you ask not. How you gonna ask if you don't even know what you want? Scripture say seek and ye shall find. How you gonna seek if you don't even know what you're looking for? Scripture say knock and the door shall be open unto you. How you gonna knock? And you don't even know what you what you're looking for. You don't even know what door to knock on. Figure out what you want. You talking about faith? You talking about confidence? How you gonna have confidence in in confidence in what? Jay, I struggle with confidence. What do you want? Well, Jay, I'm just tired of this job, man. I gotta get. I didn't ask you what you tired of. I didn't ask you what you gotta get out of. What do you want? Confidence is literally belief in your ability. To do something. How you gonna have confidence if you don't even know what the belief needs to be in? Like, does that make sense? Confidence is your belief in your ability to accomplish something or to do something. How do you have confidence without not even knowing what the thing is that you need to believe in yourself to do? That was a mouthful. Did that make sense? Jay, I'm struggling with— you're not struggling with confidence, you're struggling with clarity. And whenever somebody say, Jay, I don't have confidence— bullshit. You confident in something right now? It sound like you confident in your failure right now. You sound like you confident that things don't work out for you right now. It sound like you confident in screwing this up. Jay, I struggle with consistency. Bullshit. How you struggle with consistency and you done watched everything that Tyler Perry ever made? How you struggle with consistency on your own and you on season 7 of that show you be watching? How you struggle with consistency and you done damn near scrolled to the bottom of TikTok? You don't. You you you consistent. What you missing is clarity to point this consistency at. Oh wow! I lost track of time, y'all. It's 11:47. I gotta get out of here. I love y'all. Ain't nothing y'all can do about it. Listen, I coach bosses. Anybody ready to come jump into the deep end with me? You're gonna go to iCoachBosses.com. You're gonna take something called an identity diagnostic. Identity diagnostic is $99, and it's gonna let us know exactly what's going on. In your identity. It's gonna let me know what the affirmations not touching, what parts of your identity have you been starving, so we can figure out what the bottom— what the bottleneck is in your success. If you're running off of affirmations, willpower, affirmations, willpower, and motivation, I feel sorry for you. That's, that's not the— that, that, that's not gonna work. Kobe Bryant was not running off of willpower. He was running off of identity. Can I share the project? No. What you sharing? Um, all things sensory. What's going on, Ro? How you doing? Since I'm gonna be honest with you, I haven't looked at this chat in about the past 10 minutes, so if it's in there, I don't know what you're talking about. Uh, yeah, if you go to ai.icoachbosses.com, you'll play with our little AI friend. AI friend, um, as soon as I sit down, AI friend gonna be like $99 a month and it's gonna come with access to the portal. So if you want to play with AI Friend, I've already started on watering down the free version of AI Friend because we're about to, um, AI Friend, he, um, he way too valuable to be free. When you make really valuable things free, people disrespect it. So AI Friend about to be $99 a month. But I'm about to get off of here, guys. I love y'all. I gotta get to, um, not even get to work, I gotta get in here and play with my clients and Help them remember who they are because that's what we do here. Anybody ready to jump in? As soon as I sit down and click a few buttons, all things sensory. It's it's just a matter when I have time to sit down and do it. But yeah, anybody ready to do an identity diagnostic? Go to iCoachBosses.com. Invest ninety nine bucks into yourself and take your identity diagnostic so you can jump on a Zoom call with me and we can talk about your identity. What's working for you? What's not working? What the blocks are and get you moving in the right direction. I love y'all. Ain't nothing y'all can do about it. I'm gonna see y'all later. Let me close all this stuff down. Okay, bye-bye.
