a Holy OMfG Half-time Show

Hey there, welcome to the OMFG podcast, Jewish wisdom for unprecedented times. My name is Rabbi Jen Gubitz, and together with my friend and co-conspirator with the same initials, Rabbi Jodi Gordon, we are so glad you're with us.

OMFG is not just a podcast, it's a philosophy, a worldview.

A way of keeping it Jewish while keeping it real.

Sometimes, especially if those times are any time in the last few years, the world just gives you an opportunity after opportunity to say, "OMFG." The world is the world, but Jewish tradition inspires us to call out to each other, and sometimes to God, and to figure out what it all means. And so this podcast is our way of inviting you into the conversation.

So in true OMFG fashion, we hope you're on the couch under many blankets, sipping an iced coffee or seltzer or tea if that's your thing, and maybe grab some dried fruit. Welcome to OMFG.

Jen, can you believe it's February? Or at least it will be by the time folks are listening. Our friend and rabbi Dar Williams wasn't kidding when she sang, the nights are long and cold and Jerry, can we live through February?

And you're so lucky that in January you got to hear her live.

That's true, that's very true.

But I know it feels like January was approximately 14,345 days long, so it's kind of hard to decide. Am I just glad January is over? Am I excited it's February?

I mean, you know me, I am a proud winter curmudgeon. I hate the snow, I hate the cold, I can't wait for springtime.

And she chooses to live in the Berkshires, folks. But I feel like of all the wintry options, February might somehow suck the least. For starters, it's short, so it does give you a sense of moving things along. Also, snow days. I've heard that some schools tried remote learning for snow days and gave it up real quick. So yay for reclaiming snow days from pre-pandemic days.

It's true, but actually a quick side note to how I know that I think most people really feel done with the pandemic is that we had like a surprise snow day in the middle of the day yesterday here in the Berkshires, right? So like kids went to school and then a half day got called and the snow was coming in the afternoon. And when we canceled Hebrew school, no one said, oh, is there a Zoom link? Because you know what? Snow days are awesome.

But.

In this span of time called winter that I mostly detest, February definitely sucks the least. And the whole short month thing really helps. It also happens to be the anniversary of my first date with my husband, Josh, February 5th, 2006, which in addition to being the day that I began my lifelong journey with a vegan, also happened to be Super Bowl Sunday, which always makes me laugh.

Like literally during the Super Bowl.

Literally at a vegan restaurant during the Super Bowl.

So no chicken wings or pizza.

Yeah, none.

Matan and I would also accidentally go out on Super Bowl Sunday without knowing it. I feel like actually though the Super Bowl is relevant because there's— it's America's way of throwing everyone a bit of a midwinter bone or chicken bone or I don't know what to offer for vegans, but It's, it's a fun reason to gather, the Super Bowl, to eat copious amounts of chips and dip. I feel like buffalo hot sauce is the star usually. Yeah, of the time.

Yeah, I do love a buffalo wing, but also there's the puppy bowl. I mean, really like the puppy bowl.

We do. And actually, I think my dog walker is going to come in in a moment for the puppy bowl, so just— there might be some noise. Um, Joey, you're gonna go on a walk, buddy. Go, go, you're going to go to the Puppy Bowl. But speaking of the Super Bowl, you know what I love more than grown men giving themselves traumatic brain injuries? A good halftime show.

I too love a good halftime show. And it sort of feels like February is like a midwinter halftime show, a momentary reprieve from the drudgery of winter, short month and all. And you know, Jen, it feels fitting because we've got a Jewish holiday coming down the pike. That also feels like a halftime show of sorts.

You know, there's nothing new under the sun, but I'm not sure that anyone has ever before called Tu B'Shvat a halftime show. But I like where we're going with this. I do think, however, that we could have a whole lecture series, perhaps during the Super Bowl for those uninterested, on how to spell Tu B'Shvat. How do you spell Tu B'Shvat? Like, does Shvat have an apostrophe? There's a whole Facebook group on how to spell Tu B'Shevat. Is it B or B apostrophe? B-I capital S-H-E-V-A-T. This sounds like Matan's last name struggles that we have as well. It's true.

We do have a sort of canonized spelling, a preferred spelling here at the Chevra, which is Tu, T-U, capital B, B-I, capital S, but no space, S-H-E-V-A-T. Okay. So here's your recap. Tu B'Shvat, also known as the 15th of the month of Shvat, is known in the Mishnah as the New Year of the Trees, which is actually one of four Jewish New Years. So although Shvat is during the wintertime in North America, it's on the cusp of growth, on the cusp of spring in Israel. And those mystics of Shvat created what we call a Tu B'Shvat Seder, sort of similar to Passover, in order to taste and celebrate a feast of fruits found in Israel. And so how, might we say, does this holiday qualify as a halftime show?

Because you get to dream about sitting under a tree and eating Trader Joe's dried fruit and fun seltzer flavors. To be clear, this dream can include sitting on a couch under a tree or a zero-gravity chair. You could sit on a beach chair under a palm tree in Florida, if you go to Florida, which some people have feelings about Florida. We're totally doing that at the end of February. And luckily, well, sort of luckily, I think my bodily autonomy will be okay that week. Okay. So Tu B'Shvat is such a lovely holiday with so much depth and flavor.

It also has an interesting economic component, which we learned from some writing published by Hazon, an amazing Jewish environmental organization. Which is that Tu B'Shvat divided the tithing of one year's crop from the next, the end and start of the tax year. But with the expulsion from the land of Israel, Tu B'Shvat became dormant, right, for a really long time until the expulsion from Spain in 1492, when those mystics of Tzfat rejuvenated the holiday and developed that Tu B'Shvat seder with 4 realms, 4 cups of wine or juice, and related fruits, but we'll come back to that in a moment.

So basically it was like convert or die or eat figs.

I mean, yeah, isn't that our plan?

Isn't that the story of the Jewish people? So early Zionists connected to the holiday because of their reconnection with the land of Israel, and eventually Tu B'Shvat became connected with growing alarm for climate change. And if you look at Tu B'Shvat Seders over time, you can see all of these shifts happening. And so now back to our halftime show. Our OMFG addition to the Tu B'Shevat Seder is relevant seltzer flavors. We happen to have our seltzer expert, Rabbi Jodi Gordon, who has agreed to assist in this endeavor.

I'm really honored and pleased to be able to fill this important role. So the Tu B'Shevat Seder is delicious. It has really powerful metaphors. And for our sort of longtime listeners, I would say, you know how we feel about metaphors. So we're reflecting on what we learned from a Tu B'Shvat seder put out by Hazon, that amazing Jewish educational and retreat organization that focuses on sustainable living and learning, based just down the road from me at Isabella Friedman in Connecticut, which also recently merged with the amazing Pearlstone Retreat Center in Maryland. All right. Our first realm, that first mystical step into our Tu B'Shvat seder is called Asiyya. Which stands for action, coming from the root of that Hebrew word la'asot, to do or to make. So this first realm is about protection, about shields and defenses.

For this realm, we eat fruit with an inedible outer shell and an edible inner core, like a clementine or a banana. We also drink our first cup of juice or wine, white wine in this case, or white grape juice. The whiteness, we're taught, reminds us of winter, and according to the Kabbalists, the divine spark of creation. It can remind us too of seeds underground, winter snow, ready to break through and grow. That was poetic. I didn't even— huh. So Jodi, what's our seltzer?

So I think for this first, for this first course, for this first of the four realms, I'm going to recommend a Polar Seltzer in Ruby Red Grapefruit. So reflecting those fruits that have that inedible outer shell and a sweet inner and also because Polar Seltzer has some of the strongest bubbles. We'll talk about that later. And so your first chug of a cold can of Polar Red Grapefruit Seltzer, right? It has to sort of cut through. It's certainly my go-to after a meal that's making me feel sort of sluggish, right? It's like this, like, cutting bubble. So for así ya, we're going to drink a lovely Polar Red Grapefruit. And do you know, Jen, that amazing image that you just offered us of those seeds under the winter snow, it's very inspiring as we sit here recording in January. So even if February is short and spring feels far away, I love knowing that there is potential creation and growth a-coming.

Love it. So for the white wine, I'm going to obviously not recommend Chardonnay because that is the bane of wine's existence. When we go to Miami in February, I will drink white wine on the beach an homage to Tu B'Shevat. Also, I've been eating a ton of citrus right now, including a lot of clementines. I got some, um, I guess like blood clementines or blood oranges. Yeah, which I wish it had a different word. I don't know, it feels weird to be like, I'm eating a blood orange.

I know, but then also, um, similar, right, similar sort of time of year sweetness. We— I have to recommend the Cara Cara oranges or the Sumo citrus. You know, also like to break through that peel.

Speaking of citrus, Matan and I learned something that we never discussed while dating, which was how to properly prepare and eat a citrus.

I know, we've been talking about this. I hear, I hear you've got trouble.

I am a peeler and he is a cutter.

And you know, there's a time for everything under heaven, a time to peel, a time to cut. Depends on if you're taking it to like a kid's soccer game or you're standing in the kitchen with like half a light on and just need you know, a quick boost of that citrus flavor.

So awesome. So the second realm we're gonna move on is called Yetzirah. And moving forward, the second realm is called Yetzirah, which can mean formation or creation, and it's about inwardness and emotion and a sense of feeling. For this realm, we eat fruit with an edible outer shell and an inedible inner core, like apricots or dates. We think about the emotions within us that need protection. We drink wine or juice that is half white and half red. For the sommeliers among us, if you are appalled by this, we wish you a happy Tu B'Shvat. Deal with it. Jodi, can you please tell us about our corresponding seltzer?

So, right, so the thing about the second realm is that You engage in the sweetness, you dig in, you take that amazing bite, and then ultimately there's something you have to spit out, something you can't finish. And so I'm going to recommend a lime seltzer. And the reason I'm going to say that is I'm always excited to get it started, and I always leave at least the bottom third of the can sitting there. There's something about it that becomes undrinkable by the end. So maybe there is the message of we can't always have it all, that there's always going to be something that we have to leave behind.

Beautiful, inspiring. And so for our listeners, we just want you to pause for a second as we take you through this Tu B'Shvat Seder. If you want to eat dried fruit and seltzer during it, bring it. But where do you need protection emotionally this Tu B'Shvat? Where do you need to acknowledge that we can't have it all? We can't always finish the lime seltzer. We can't always eat the entire thing. Take a moment. Where do you need protection emotionally this Tu B'Shvat?

Thinking about that, carrying it forward to that third realm. That third realm is Briah, or thought, and it gives us this opportunity to think about, you know, thoughtfulness and contemplation. And for this realm, we represent it by eating a fruit that is entirely edible, like a fig or a raspberry. And our third cup of wine in this realm is or juice, I should say, is a quarter white and three-quarters red. So one piece of this is we could contemplate how we've grown this year. We could offer gratitude for abundance while also acknowledging our vulnerability. There's no protective layer for this fruit. The other thing I would say about this realm with the mixing of juices is, right, sort of like from that, like, darkness to light, from the darkness of the red wine, and we're starting to sort of cut it with the white wine. Starting to lighten it up. I think there's something also that reminds me of like the sunsets at this time of year, you know, as it, as light starts to sort of creep back in, as we sort of bring that back in. And for our seltzer course, for this entirely edible realm, I'm going to go with my favorite seltzer of the moment, one that I can like chug an entire can of in, you know, minutes flat. Polar has a new flavor out called Pink Apple and Lemon. Sounds confusing. Maybe you're not sure before you drink it, but just trust me on this. And it's really this like incredibly sort of hydrating and satiating experience. So—

Is it like pink lemonade?

No, it's like a Pink Lady apple.

Oh.

Just a cut of citrus. It's really delish.

So I would choose— I have Bubbly Blackberry right now, which also fits like the entire— I think blackberries are entirely edible.

Yes.

Um, and I also find it refreshing. I also believe that it needs to be very, very cold in order to finish the entire can.

I agree, I agree.

And so that takes us to the fourth realm, which is Atsilut, or the spiritual realm. And this focuses on spiritual connection. This time we drink an entirely red cup of wine or juice, coming full circle in the seasons. And in this realm, we actually have no fruit because we already have everything we already need to sustain ourselves spiritually, the intangibles like kindness, community, friendship, or love?

I have such a good one for this one. I mean, friends, our OMFG friends, I feel like we should say in case it's not totally obvious that our edition of the Seltzer Course is just our own special brand of OMFG humor. But I actually feel like there is a really perfect seltzer course for this realm, If we have everything we need to sustain ourselves in kindness and in community, I'm thinking about that idea that I think it's Émile Durkheim who teaches about religion at its best is about collective effervescence. Right? This is good. This is good. And so I'm going to recommend a plain seltzer. We are simply going to hydrate and enjoy the bubbles because we don't need anything else. It's all there. Do you think it works?

I love it. Yeah, and I'm thinking of all of the times that I've consumed the bubbly throughout my life. I think I first discovered it in Prague, actually, when I was studying abroad. Um, I can't remember the brand name anymore, but we, we were all feeling really bloated after drinking it at every meal because it was more expensive than beer but still very cheap. And we realized how much sodium was in it. Oh wow, halfway through the semester, we were like, well, we got to cut back. Not on the beer, but cut back on this like bubbly, bubbly water, Czech water.

Um, all right, so we've got these four realms, right? The realm of action, formation, thought, and spirituality. And I guess one interesting question to consider, and I mean maybe I'm putting you on the spot here, is, um, which realm do you feel like you live in most of the time?

So this actually feels like an ancient Myers-Briggs. I am an INFP, if you were wondering. Most of the time I can be an extrovert as well, but then I pay for it later. Um, but in the realms of the Tu B'Shevat Seider, I think I live probably among thought and spirituality most of the time.

Well, I like thinking of this as an ancient Myers-Briggs. I'm a, I'm a strong and unmistakable ENFP. Um, and if you are not a Myers-Briggs aficionado, you can Google what that means. But basically, right, the extrovert in me is strong, getting a lot of energy from, from being around people. And I think in the, in the world of this Tu B'Shvat Seder, I actually think it's, for me, it's thought and action, and I'm constantly bouncing between the two. Like, I'm— or maybe it's formation and action, right? But I feel like I'm constantly living in like a in a building up and in a planning for, and then in periods of like extreme implementation. And it just sort of goes back and forth over the course of a year, which is sort of interesting. But, um, another, another great question, and in some ways I would say like this feels like an amazing like youth group mixer. Jen, what kind of fruit are you? What's your outer shell and your core like? Tough, delicate, outer shield? What's going on here?

So I would say that I'm like a peach that I accidentally leave in my bag for too long, which is a whole other podcast. Yeah, things you find in your pockets and tallest bags and, and, and work bags. Um, I would say that I am delicate and easily bruised like a peach, but so sweet and so great in schnapps.

Oh, this is such a good question, and I feel like now you're gonna make me answer, and I'm having—

I mean, definitely, what fruit are you, Jodi? Oh, I already know the answer, but what fruit are you?

Wait, I don't think I know the answer. What fruit am I?

It's going to be a stone fruit of some sort.

Oh, well, I mean, that's just like my favorite fruit. So I could certainly make the case here. You know what? Maybe here's, here's the, here's the midrash. I am a pluot. I'm a pluot. And the reason I'm a pluot is because like, I'm sort of inherently familiar. Like, you know what a plum is and you know what an apricot is, but maybe it's like an unexpected combination. And I'm at my best in summertime. You don't really want to eat me the rest of the year.

That was good. I didn't expect that. I did not expect that. So I am curious if Trader Joe's really sees growth in their dried fruit sales around Tu B'Shevat.

I mean, I can imagine that in Massachusetts. I want you to go up to the Trader Joe's, to the people, the manager at the one that's like on the side of the pike in Newton Center and just ask.

I could imagine a staff member like ringing the bell and being like, hey boss, or like they do the whole like shipments thing, like, hey Captain, we just can't keep these prunes in stock.

The apricots, they're going like hotcakes.

Not to mention that then they see us coming in for like prune, uh, hamantaschen filling.

I know, it's like, what is, what is this? Well, I mean, as somebody who doesn't have a Trader Joe's, I do think that The thing I love playing the game of is like a Jewish educator in this community is like, what weird fruit order will I surprise the folks at either Big Wire or Guido's with, right? Like in September when I'm like, can we get 100 pomegranates? No, no, whole, just as they are. We need 100 pomegranates. And they're like, why? And I'm like, if you could help us put together trays of like— no, no, it has to be the pitted olives. No, no, no, wait, it has to be the dates that have the da da da da. So we just, we like to keep things interesting.

Actually, I was running, um, a brunch at the Manhattan JCC, your, uh, one of your favorite places on Sunday.

Truly.

And I was doing a Tu B'Shvat Seder for couples where they built, um, they built succulents to get like a succulent garden together and had different fruits they could eat. And I like really didn't want to go to the store. I was like, I'm not going to Trader Joe's on the Upper West Side. On a Sunday morning. That seemed like a bad choice. So I Instacarted from Fairway dates and figs, and I get this like Instacart message being like, we are out of figs.

Everything.

Out of everything. So then they were like, here's more dates. So it gets delivered to the JCC on Saturday and disappears. And so on Sunday, I was like, I really want the dried fruit. So I Instacarted another order of apricots and dates and figs. And this time all I got was apricots and one thing of dates because they had emptied out all their dates on me the day before. So all I had was like one little measly date thing. And then it was, um, so I mean, I actually think Fairway may have— it's not even Tu B'Shvat yet as we're recording, but I think that they were really running low stock because of Jewish educators.

Totally. And you know, the thing I love about Tu B'Shvat though is that even though Right, I'm looking out my office window right now, everything is covered in ice and snow, and it feels a little bit irrelevant to our ecosystem and much more relevant in the land of Israel. It's the perfect time in our wintering lives to daydream about growth and trees and sweet fruit and fresh wine. Like, I think we really need it to remind us that it won't always be cold and dreary.

Yeah, yeah, this like hopefulness even amid Tu B'Shevat's relationship to climate climate change and the fear we rightfully have for our world's future and for the future of our world's children. Tu B'Shvat does inspire the hopefulness of imagination that spring is coming. And in America or North America, it already like came a couple of weeks ago, but like it's going to come for real when it's supposed to. And, you know, so last week I did that JCC event. This weekend I'm going to New Orleans for a program about what is your family, but we're going to go to Saba. And do a little Tu B'Shevat stuff, and we're going to drink gazoz, which is your favorite. It's full of fruity Tu B'Shevat freshness, also Sukkot adjacent. So if you're looking for inspo like dried fruit, seltzer, gazoz, peach pops—

We need to talk about gazoz for a second.

Okay.

Gazoz is important. Gazoz is an underlooked and underappreciated offering in the world of bubbly drinks that the land of Israel has offered us. And if you, one of our listeners, happen to be in Tel Aviv now, going there sometime soon, you have to go to Café Levinsky. It's 41 Levinsky Street where they— I know, really— where they sell gazoz. And what it is, is it's like not just seltzer with fruity goodness. And Jen, I need like a picture and a full report about the gazoz down in New Orleans. But in a more elevated way, it's a way of being like creative and useful and sort of like prudent with our harvest. Right. So we don't just, you know, use the fruit once and then let it wither. But we, we sort of make an apothecary out of it and we soak them and we add sweetness and we combine flavors. And so a gazoz is really like sort of like the Bloody Mary of seltzer cocktails with as many things as you can pile in with herbs and fruit and syrups and soaked delicious things, and now I think I'm going to have to make Tu B'Shvat gazoz. So you can do that. We will remind you lovingly that 20 dried apricots is equal to 20 apricots, and so, you know, to be mindful of how much dried fruit you're eating in one sitting because, you know. We also think Tu B'Shvat merits trying all sorts of awesome fruits: coconut, lychee, carob. Go wild!

And if you were ever tricked to think that carob is chocolate, the earth's chocolate, we are sorry and apologize on behalf of religious school educators everywhere.

Truly. And so we want to close out this episode of OMFG, the Tu B'Shvat edition, with this special blessing for all of you, a poem called Advice from a Tree by Ilan Shamir. Dear friend, stand tall and proud. Sink your roots deeply into the earth. Reflect the light of a greater source. Think long term. Go out on a limb.

Remember your place among all living beings. Embrace with joy the changing seasons, for each yields its own abundance: the energy and birth of spring, the growth and contentment of summer, the wisdom to let go of leaves in the fall, the rest and quiet renewal of winter.

Feel the wind and the sun and delight in their presence. Look up at the moon that shines down upon you and the mystery of the stars at night. Seek nourishment from the good things in life, simple pleasures, earth, fresh air, light.

Be content with your natural beauty. Drink plenty of water. Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes. Be flexible. Remember your roots.

Enjoy the view. This episode of the OMFG podcast was brought to you by rabbis Jen Gubitz and Jodi Gordon, editing by Jesse Ulrich, and snark straight from Adonai.