OMFG: We’re at a Christian Retreat Center!

Hey there, welcome to the OMFG podcast, Jewish wisdom for unprecedented times. My name is Rabbi Jen Gubitz, and together with my friend and co-conspirator Rabbi Jodi Gordon, we are so glad you're here with us.

OMFG is not just a podcast, it's a philosophy, a worldview, a way of keeping it Jewish while keeping it real. Sometimes, especially if those times are any time in the last few years, the world just gives you opportunity after opportunity to say, "OMFG." The world is the world, but Jewish tradition inspires us to call out to each other, and sometimes to God, and to figure out what it all means. And so this podcast is our way of inviting you into the conversation.

So, in true OMFG fashion, we have a secret to share with you. Jodi, do you want to tell them?

Okay, this is big. But Jen and I, right now as we speak, are actually in the same place. We are currently across the hall from each other at the Meadowkirk Retreat Center in Middleburg, Virginia, as part of our Tisch Rabbinical Fellowship alumni retreat. And we're really happy to be here. It's an incredibly beautiful pastoral retreat center which was actually founded with a Christian-centered mission whose goals are to offer respite and retreat.

So Jodi helped out planning the programming, which has been really awesome. We've been learning about physics and singing around a campfire and all the things you would kind of expect and maybe not rabbis and cantors to do. I'm like, they would expect the campfire physics, not as much.

Less so. Less so.

Less so. The food here is also really great. And to ensure our respite and renewal, I shipped boxes of Wandering Bear cold brew coffee so we could all be nourished and revived all day long. And so the irony of us being together is that, as Jodi mentioned, we are across the hall from each other because we each have to record from different rooms because we don't have proper bougie enough equipment to record live together. So here's hoping once again for good Wi-Fi.

So we felt like this was an opportunity not to be missed. And in particular recording together while we're here in the midst of this time of retreat felt like this opportunity to kind of pull back the curtain on the lives of your co-hosts around this time of the year while we're thinking about resetting and recalibrating, thinking about what it means to be on retreat and is actually retreat sort of different, different from, or a way to think about actually advancing. And so in that spirit, we wanted to share with you something really interesting about the place where we are right now. So we mentioned we're at this place called Meadowkirk, which is a retreat center in Middleburg, Virginia. And on Meadowkirk's website, this is how they describe this place. So they write, Meadowkirk's team seeks in an understated way to offer an environment guests can leave possessing more energy, vision, relationship, and peace than when they arrived. And, you know, they have all of this incredible sort of biblically grounded text that helps them to, to build out that mission and to sort of make that vision real for themselves. And I just think it's really amazing.

They talk about how their heartsong is that the experiences and exchanges that happen at Meadowkirk can help those who visit more fully realize different biblical texts like this one from Romans from the Christian Bible talking about the invisible qualities of divine, of God, that G in OMFG, and how we're to come and be in this place of divine dwelling, in order to relieve ourselves of weary and burden in order to find rest. And I feel like we have so much to learn by being guests here. I actually, obviously, I love any retreat center that's like, hey, come and rest in our Our teacher brought this framework, our teacher Rabbi Larry Hoffman brought this framework about retreat and advance. How do we rest in order to renew and restore and move forward? There's a lot of horse memorabilia here, which has also been inspiring and unexpected. We may, and they may not know yet, have been hiding different large photographs of horses in our colleagues' beds. For them to discover when they go to bed at night. So I feel like if you were wondering if rabbis and cantors like to play and have fun, also we do. Retreat is about play and fun and, and joy and delight as well.

Totally. I mean, it is a little bit like rabbi and cantor sleepaway camp, but for older people. I mean, it's plus wine. You know, there's something about being in a space that is held together by differently articulated values than our Jewish ones. That makes me more appreciative of those details, right? Like hearing sort of a commitment to rest and renewal and respite framed using language that's not mine and isn't familiar to me actually, like, helps me hear it better, right? It makes me more aware of it. And there's— they have this one phrase that really inspires me, and it makes me feel like, you know what, I want us to have a ministry of hospitality. Like, that's how they describe their work here. And I think that's so cool. Yeah.

It's interesting, right? Because we know how to rest. It's called Shabbat. And yet, like, it's hard to do it even though we preach about it all the time. And we know how to be hospitable. But I wonder too, Jodi, if you're drawn to the ministry of hospitality because we each spend so much time in our own lives being hospitable and creating hospitable situations for other people. That we ourselves, like, need to have the experience of the ministry of hospitality that we didn't have to really work too hard to create, even though I know you worked hard.

Totally.

There's also something about feeling like guests that I think really lends itself to this intention we share of allowing ourselves to feel cared for. Um, and that's seen here from the comfort of the spaces, the soap smells good, to the way they feed us. Although I will say that I realized I was washing my hands with hand sanitizer today in the water. Took me a bit. I know. Whoops. It's a learning experience too. And this has become a place, and it's the second time we've been here, where we feel like we can really lay down our burdens and be filled up by one another and by the space. And the weather is also beautiful.

Totally. You know, there was something about coming back here for a second year in a row, being here for a second time in this particular space. And part of that was the inspiration for deciding to record this mini episode here right now to share with all of you. So our loyal listeners will know that Jen and I, we try to see each other as much as possible throughout the year, but summer is really our time to shine. And this annual Tisch Alumni Retreat has become sort of our summer kickoff. And in the way that we're sort of trying to close out this past year's episodes that really focused on the flow of Jewish time and holidays, we felt like inviting you to join us in this generative place might be an interesting peek behind the curtain for our listeners, so to speak.

So in that spirit, we are going to spend some time together and with all of you checking in using some of the themes and questions that helped our larger group of alumni come together over the last 24 hours. So, Jodi, what is something that you created this year?

Oh, I love this question because part of the way that we have sort of learned to check in with each other is to, you know, own our successes and our misses, our epic fails. And I came into this past Jewish calendar year with this goal of creating sort of better and deeper intergenerational community. In my world, in my congregation, in our Jewish community locally. And I sort of had this idea about how to do it and an idea about how to bring people along into it. And when I think about sort of the scope of the year from when I first spoke about it, you know, on the High Holidays, and there I would pause to say, like, I had this realization and thinking about this where I'm like, in some ways, like, it's so easy to just give a High Holiday sermon. Like, if you can write about an idea beautifully, then like, shouldn't it just be so? Right? Like what I described is, you know, beautiful vision of like interconnected community where our young people really know that they are seen by people of all generations, right? That like sort of people are watching them, like not in a creepy way, but in a caring way. And, and like, if only it just took a sermon, it took actually a lot of hard work and a lot of people putting their hands up and being willing to be in spaces that wouldn't necessarily have been their first choice or the most comfortable for them in order to say like, what does it mean to be a part of community where, you know, a 5th grader and a 55-year-old might wind up breaking bread together? And so as we wrap up this Jewish calendar year, in some ways it feels like that really— I feel like we— I created that. I created the, the muscle for it, or the posture of looking at Jewish life and saying like, where— how do we get everyone in the room? What about you?

Love it. Um, I was thinking, so first of all, I'm on— in finishing up year 2 of Modern Jewish Couples, which is awesome, the work I do to build Jewish learning that supports couples as they journey to marriage and beyond. So I'm proud of that. But I think something that's a little more tangibly describable is, um, the last day of religious school, tefillah. Of our community prayer time, we used to have kids come up like to do the Shema and Veahavta prayers if they were in a certain grade. And I started saying, if you want to be a leader, come on up, knowing that like a kindergartner could come up and they might not know the Veahavta yet, but I wanted them to feel like they could like self-nominate and be like, I'm a leader. And so like this, these kids come up And one of them says to me, I've been practicing, which was— she was probably like 7. And I was like, that's amazing. So they stayed up and then we just kept inviting up more people until everyone was on the bima. Um, at the end, this is a 30-minute moment, right? It's not long. It's 9:30 in the morning, so like everyone's a little bleary-eyed. And we sang Alana Arendt's I Have a Voice, after which come up to me and said, I don't remember why we joined the congregation, but if all my kid gets from this is the sentence, I have a voice, my voice is powerful, then that's worth it. That's worth it to us. And that felt amazing. And then we all sang Shehecheyanu at the end, offering gratitude that we'd reached this moment. And like, there's those moments that you— those like fractals of like joy and excitement that I felt throughout my life at camp singing, at the campfire last night singing. You know, just different pivotal moments, and this was one of them. And I don't know if it sounded good, I don't, but I could tell that it felt good for people. Um, it was just a really powerful way to cap off the year, um, singing together. And I, I just loved it. Went from like, I've been practicing for this moment, to this is exactly what we needed, and maybe we didn't even know it until this final moment of just everyone singing amen together.

I always have this experience when I'm together with our, with our friends and colleagues and with you where I'm like, I want to be a rabbi with you. Like, that religious school tefillah sounds amazing. Now I want to— so for, you know, any of my friends of Hebra listening, you for sure are going to hear me say, anybody who wants to be a leader, come on up, because like, what an amazing, like, posture and way to make that invitation. That's awesome.

What is something that is bringing you comfort or inspiration right now? And I feel like those might actually be two different questions.

So totally. Absolutely.

Have at it.

I'm gonna go with comfort. I'm getting lots of inspiration in lots of places these days. I am having this feeling of just being like, I love being home. I love my house. I love the people in it. I love being there. And, you know, it's about to be summertime in the Berkshires, which, you know, not to put too fine a point on it, but is basically like as close to like some messianic vision of the world redeemed that we can experience here on Earth. And with your favorite fruit, it's like everything about— and so, you know, we've lived in our house for 9 years and we've lived in it, and I sort of feel like those COVID years count like double. So it's like we've, we've put the wear and tear of like 15 years on our house by virtue of, you know, what the last few were like. And so there was like some like cleanup and freshening up that needed to happen. And we just did it all in the service of being ready for summertime. You know, like stuff, like stuff that sounds boring, like power washing and restaining your deck and all these things. But to me, it's all about like freshening up the nest because it is like such a place of comfort and inspiration. And it's about to be that time of year where we can like sink into it and be hospitable, right? Maybe I'll have my own ministry of hospitality on my porch this summer. But the idea that like being home is just, is just all I want and need. And you know, that time to be with Josh and my kids before they go off to camp, like I'm good. Like I just, that's all I really want right now. So I'm leaning into it. What about you?

So I was thinking probably the things that, this would be my answer most times of year, that bring me comfort is really good music. Typically Brandi Carlile, obviously. But Dar Williams. And last night we were singing around that campfire, and I played a song that I learned when I was 15. And then Rachel Silverstein Schmelkin played a song that we've been singing since we were 10. And sort of some of those older songs are really coming back to me, like the stuff that's not innovative anymore but has nostalgia. And then also we were in St. Louis this weekend for a family b'mitzvah, which was amazing to be with my whole family for the first time and extended family in 3 years or more, honestly. And my sister took us to an Irish bar and we ended up listening to— I know. So we ended up listening to Irish music. And then whenever I listen to good music, I always want to learn about the band and then I want started to learn about the genre and like went down like an Irish, bluegrass, folk, Appalachian, and I, which I would not be able to give a lecture on right now, but I just found it like amazing how musical traditions get woven together. Um, and then I see them, I see those, those vibes in Brandi Carlile and in Dar Williams, um, and in different concerts that we go to. And so I feel comforted by music. I wish that there were more concerts that seemed to fit into our schedule this summer. I'm hoping that there will be some pop-up moments that are unexpected, but I also know that I just started looking for concerts in parks this summer and figured like, okay, I don't know that musician, but like, let's go. And at least hopefully if the weather's nice and we have like a good Trader Joe's picnic and some spritz-y wine of sorts. Totally. It'll be great. And so that feels like a really, like, something I'm excited to do all summer, which is just to like be outside and enjoy company and community and neighbors.

I love that. I feel like I need to— we should put it here on the record with OMFG so that maybe we'll return to this idea at some other point in the next year ahead. So I had the chance to see this new documentary about the Indigo Girls a couple of weeks ago. And, you know, it's this amazing sort of like retrospective on their career and their impact. And I'm just thinking about what you were just saying about like the music that feeds our souls, the music that brings us comfort, the music that, you know, it did something for us when we were 16 and now 25 years later, it does something else and something more for us. And there was this amazing moment in the documentary where Amy Ray is talking about like how many people say the Indigo Girls changed my life or saved my life and how like their experience of, of being the Indigo Girls, you know, like that, that, that positive impact was like a little harder to come by at first. And what was it about them that like broke the mold? And it's such— and I think it was probably a throwaway line, but I keep thinking about it where she said something like, well, I think what was hard about us is that like we were a little angry, you know, and like nobody really wanted women to sing about being angry. Like, we can deal with Rage Against the Machine, but we can't deal with like the Indigo Girls raging against like the actual machine. And so I just think like there's like something so interesting about the music that you just described, right, as like inspiring us, nourishing us, comforting us, like carrying us through all these ages and stages.

Yeah, but also like there's comfort in what was once radical is now normative. And it's inspiring to know that what today might be radical could hopefully become normative in time. So yeah, so I mean, that's good info. I should watch that documentary. You know, Jody, our third question for the check-in is what troubles you. And I just literally don't want to.

I was having the same thought. I just looked at it and I was like, I don't really want to talk about what troubles me. It's like the world, right? The world is troubling. Like, can we just say like, dayenu? Like, we know all the things. Okay. Okay. I think the last question actually is maybe energizing or interesting to think about. And maybe for our listeners, like our answers now might be one of the bars we set for the year ahead. But so the last question, Jen, let's just go right there, is what, what are two things that are true for you right now? Like your two truths. We're not looking for a lie. We're not playing the game, but two truths. Maybe they're paradoxical, right? Maybe there are two things that are true at the same time and don't fit together. Or maybe they're just two things that are true. But what's true for you right now?

Yeah, so I have— I actually have two different jobs, right, both of which I love, Modern Couples and Temple Shalom of Newton. And I've been just managing a lot of systems lately. And so I'm really tired, even though I love those things. On one hand, I'm exhausted and summer couldn't come soon enough. June 21st, the day my brother was born, couldn't come soon enough. So I'm exhausted, but also I have, as you know, Jodi, an abundance of creativity and creative ideas that sometimes wake me up at night or sometimes come to me when I should be doing something that has a deadline. And, and so I'm both exhausted but also have more ideas than I know what to do with. And I like can't keep up with myself, which then is all the more reason why I need to come and retreat because I would just keep advancing otherwise. And then I'll never slow down and then I'll get sick from being exhausted. So holding the two truths of like exhausted and also like OMG excited.

Just OMG, not OMFG.

No, definitely, definitely.

Probably a capital F. Two things that are true for me right now is that on the one hand, I feel like I'm seeing amazing, like, work and sort of people putting good things into the world around me. And at the same time, I also think people are treating each other like more poorly than I remember ever really seeing people treat each other. And that feels true, like in my local community, in my, in my work, in like just sort of like the, the small worlds around me, right? It's like there's all these amazing things happening and they, and those feel true. And then people sort of speaking to each other and behaving towards each other in ways. And I'm like, like literally, OMG, like, What is happening? And so I'm just, I'm curious about like, at the risk of like, you know, say of like sort of putting everything on COVID, but I'm like, what's, what haven't we processed? Like what else needs to happen for us to like become more integrated humans who are capable of doing amazing things in the world and treating each other with that same level of greatness? That's one thing that feels true. And the other thing that feels true is, is just this feeling of like, I'm, I'm like really content with all of the things that I'm doing. Like, I'm really happy doing the work that I'm doing exactly as it is right now. And this like question that I keep thinking about, about ambition, and maybe it's like, you know, a 42-year-old woman at a place in life, you're like, oh, like, am I supposed to, should I strive for more? Is there something different that I'm supposed to want? And can I just be, can I feel super successful having like achieved what I have right now and keep it there? So stay tuned, we'll see.

So we want to offer you a poem as we head into summer. We'll be back, don't worry, we will be back, we promise. This poem is called "The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel. We learned it from our colleague in PAL, Rabbi Josh Fixler. And I just want to say there's one word in it I don't love. It's the word mute, but it's poetry, so we're going to let it stand. The quiet world is how we want to close us out today.

In an effort to get people to look into each other's eyes more and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person I write exactly 167 words per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant, I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long-distance lover, proudly say, "I only used 59 today.

I saved the rest for you." When she doesn't respond, I know she's used up all her words. So I slowly whisper, "I love you," 32 and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line.

Listen to each other breathe.

Here's to a summer of listening to one another breathe.

This episode of the OMFG podcast was brought to you by rabbis Jen Gubitz and Jodi Gordon, editing by Jessie Ulrich, and snark straight from Adonai.