Unlocking Divine Potential: A Conversation with Esther Wildenberg

Creating your own reality. Is it possible for me? I am Jennifer K. Hill, the Consciousness Architect, and I am here to tell you that it's not only possible, it's closer than you might think. Welcome to the show. Hello friends, and welcome back for another episode of Regarding Consciousness. I am Jennifer K. Hill, your host of this show and CEO of OptiMatch, om.app. And we're here today to talk to an incredible thought leader who I had the privilege and honor of meeting her a couple of months ago through a mutual friend, Esther Wildenberg. Esther has some incredible life experiences in addition to being the co-founder and president of CodeFounders Technology. She is committed to empowering women while leaving a sustainable legacy for today and for the next generation. She's an accomplished consultant, coach, advisor, speaker, and facilitator with over 2 decades of international experience. She understands culture, diversity, and inclusion, and the power of team like no other. Esther, you've had such an incredible journey. You've been CEO of a company with over, I think it was 800 employees. You've had a few near-death experiences. Tell us a little bit about what's brought you here today and how it's become one of your life's missions to help people awaken their divine purpose.

It started a while ago. I think my first journey in life was not the easiest. My childhood was not the easiest, and I grew up as an identical twin, so I had to fight my own identity into this world, and then literally fight. And I became a dentist, totally in the dentistry world. I was totally unhappy in the dentistry world. And I thought, why did I do this? And it's only because of influence of parents and neighbors. And they thought it would be great for me. And I rolled into it. And then I was really, really clear too. I was talking to God and talking to guides and please spirit, help me. Like, I don't want this. What is my next step? And then I was in an accident. That was a really big wake-up call for me. And I was in a really painful situation where I was in the hospital for a very long time, the ICU for almost 4 weeks. I had 2 near-death experiences, 2 totally different experiences, but it gave me a real insight on that I had to come back. It was really like, no, you have to go back because I literally didn't want to. Like when I saw the other side, oh yeah, this is wrong. He said, oh no, you've got work to do. It was a very clear message for me. And then I continued my whole journey after a 3-year rehab of all the physical damage and emotional impact. I went on a very spiritual, divine journey of finding my life purpose and really doing the work to actually then practice it and live it because I had my message, but I knew there was a gap between the message and being ready to share with others. So that's in a nutshell where the transition happens in my life.

So when it comes to divine purpose, Esther, I feel like so many of us, that's the only purpose, right? Like, why are we even all here? Yeah, your divine purpose could be to have a family. It could be to speak, to maybe even be a good friend. How do we even begin to distinguish? How do you feel divine purpose and how do you help people to understand that for themselves?

That's a really good question. I think that's the question most people walk around with their whole lifetime. And we don't learn anything about that topic in school or in our education in any level. So it is just when you get connected to someone that talks about your spiritual talents or your divine purpose, or what is your bigger why you're on this planet, that people are like, what do you mean? I'm a mom. Is there anything more than that? I became very passionate about that question after my near-death experience because I realized I had a wake-up call at 23. I was on the wrong path. It was for sure not my path. But what do we know when we're teenagers and in our young 20s? We just do what everybody thinks we should be doing. And then we realize it's not our path. And most of the time people get a wake-up call when there is a big impactful event in their life, like divorce or bankruptcy or cancer or a big loss or anything that disrupts their, their norm. And I kind of felt like, why are we waiting for those disruptive moments? And I was lucky and blessed I had it at 23, but most people I know get it in their 40s or 50s. And then suddenly they're in a rush because they don't know how long they have. So I became passionate sharing this with younger generations and especially women. Because there is this expectation you have to become a mom and now even the timeline and the clock is ticking and we get so much pressure as women. You have to be a mom and you have to be independent working. You have to be a spouse and all great things, but there is more. And so how I help people, besides people get it when there is a big event happening in their life, I see that shift. How can we wake people up to start finding that in themselves now? No better time than now. I don't care how old you are. You can be 15 watching this or 85. The time is now. If you didn't find it in between, it's now, right? So it is what I talk about, what I love talking about and love inspiring and do some exercises around it and inspire to find that time to connect with your personal why. Not your parents, not your partner, not any employer or anyone who came across your path is telling you what you should be doing, what is really your core joy and passion in this lifetime. So that's, that's a big thing.

Yeah, it's so true. I think it's a thing that causes us so much pain because sometimes, as one of my teachers and dear friends who we've had on the show, Arthur Samuel Joseph, says, we get knocked, like the universe knocks and says, Esther, I have a mission for you. And you're like, no, wrong person, not me. And that mission could be to have kids and it could be to be a speaker, a thought leader. It could be to be a great person. There's just so many ways. How do you know what your purpose is? Because I feel like some people feel like my purpose isn't good enough. Being a mom isn't good enough, or just having a good life isn't good enough. How do we know? What are the secrets that illuminate the path when we know we're on our way to our divine purpose?

I think the best way to do that self-assessment, it You feel inside every day when you wake up, there's more for you. There's something bigger than being a mom. I'm a mom. I have a 4-year-old. I became a mom at 46. So it's, it changed everything, but it's not everything. I love having a child and I love him, but it's not my only thing in life. You can have several purposes or divine journeys in one lifetime. It doesn't need to be one thing. And as you have that feeling inside of you, in your guts or in your heart, or when you wake up or you're dreaming about things, there's so many signs that you can, if you learn to listen to it, that there's something more for you. And for some people, it is literally being a mom and a great partner. That is why they're here. And there is, and they're totally satisfied when that is. The moment there's still something aching inside of you and you have this, there is something I want to do, but I don't know what, that means there is something bigger waiting for you and you just get tapped or tickled by the higher source. Well, hello, I'm tickling you. It's time to move a little bit and listen and receive some of the things I try to share with you. And, and I, what I learned is living around the world and traveling over 45 countries and meeting so many people. There is one thing we, in general, most cultures don't take enough time to be quiet. Alone, sit with self, meditate, and just, you know, why am I here? What do I really want to do? Like, aside from laying in my bed right now, what would I do every single day to go to bed the most fulfilled, happy person and wake up blessed and grateful? That is the big question. And I think that question we don't get asked in school or at the university or wherever we go. Nobody asks ever that question. Although it was always my first question I asked anybody I hired in any company I ever worked for or worked with as a consultant. This was the first question I asked. And I'm like, I stopped real big. I thought I was staying here for a job. Yes, but I need to know.

Say the question one more time, Esther, because it's so important. Can you repeat it?

The question is, if you had $5 million in your bank account today, What would you be doing every single day to go to bed fulfilled and happy and wake up blessed and grateful?

Mm, so beautiful. What were some of the interesting answers that you got to that?

Most people don't know.

Really?

I don't, I don't know. Nobody ever asked the question. I said, no, no, you're welcome. You're all my friends. No reason. Because I think it's the most important questions to ask yourself because people have 2 main fears in life. One, money. I need to make money. I don't have enough money for me and for my family. 2, finding the love of their life. Now, if that is fulfilled, what's next? And then health is a really big one. Mostly when people get older, there's a health issue, but that are the main People struggle every single day, walk around this until they feel satisfied. And the thing is, people are never satisfied. I think the human being is never satisfied. That's why there's always an opportunity to grow and get better.

You know, it's funny you bring this up. I had that same existential crisis and we actually had a guy on the show a while back, Mike Brown, talking about that, how founders, when we exit companies, sometimes go through that. So I had an existential crisis when I sold my company in 2018. I'd always been a recruiter. That's all I did. And I was supposed to run the company for a few more years. And I remember I got referred to a dream coach. This guy who was a famous A-list actor used to live in my building in New York. And, uh, we're out to dinner one night and he says, oh yeah, I work with a dream coach to divine my next role. And I'm like, huh, I'd like to know what I'm gonna do after I'm done with this recruiting thing. And he's great. I'll give you her number. So I remember I'm a bit skeptical and consider me, I'm already pretty spiritual, but I'm still skeptical. So I sit down and it's almost like quintessentially LA. We meet at some Beverly Hills hotel, baby. Oh, she's like a beautiful ex-model, also very deeply spiritual. And we sit down and she gives me this exercise and she says, okay, here's how it's gonna go. What do you want? I was like, I wanna know what's my purpose. What do I do after I've just sold the— what's next? So she gives me something. Dear higher self, please let me know, show me symbols, blah, blah, blah. There's a very specific way. I'm not doing it justice right now of how she does it. And then she has you light a candle and go through a ritual. And then you ask your higher self in a dream to reveal to you what you're meant to do. And I will always remember this, Esther. I remember that night I went to bed and you either write down in the middle of the night or you record yourself saying whatever the dreams are, because often we don't remember our dreams. The one dream that really stood out for me is a male newscaster. There was a male newscaster. I don't know why it was male, but it was very properly dressed. In front of a camera. So I say this to the woman goalie and she's, oh my love, you're gonna be on TV. And I'm like, no, I'm not. I have a 5-year contract. I'm like running this company and even to be on TV, it's impossible. She's, no, my love, you're gonna be on TV. I'm like, sure. Okay, whatever. I'm like even more skeptical now. Sick. Yeah. After that, Esther, November 1st, 2019, I wound up leaving the company early in a way that worked for everybody. And being offered a TV hosting gig on a new network and being offered the opportunity to interview Deepak Chopra all like in the same week. And I was like, whoa. So when we have our purpose, whether you work with a dream coach, whether you get a coach or consultant like Esther, it will almost hit you upside the head by a 2x4. Even if you don't believe it, even if you're like, no, been there, done that. That's not what I'm doing. Sometimes the universe has a way of leaving you these. Proverbial breadcrumbs that lead you until it's, it'll, like you said, the universe will start like really sweet and soft. They'll like whisper in your ear, it'll tickle you, it'll tell you through a friend or a coach or consultant, then it'll like elbow and nudge you, then it'll give you like a good hard shove. And sometimes, unfortunately, we have to go, to your point, through a near-death experience or through something more traumatic, a divorce, a this, a that. And these are all wake-up calls. I was just on a call with some people in a mastermind I facilitate before this, and we were talking to one of my friends who is in this group and was saying that— she said, Jen, whatever happens, even when something doesn't seem for the best, I'm always asking myself, how is this for my highest and best good? How is this for my highest and best good?

Always. I also tell people rejection is God's protection. And it's the same if something doesn't follow through, there's something bigger and better. It always is that way. You don't go backwards. Maybe in your mind or in your thinking, or maybe it feels that way in the beginning, but then when you look backwards and can connect the dots, it was for the higher purpose of something that's more beautiful or more divine. But we have to just be willing to receive. I think that's Something you have to learn to be open to receive whatever it is. I had no clue I will be speaking on stage and sharing my message or working with world leaders and meeting incredible people and impacting billion-dollar companies. I had no idea. But when I started, I just wanted to be a consultant and I wanted to just be a facilitator for women to masterminds and help women step into their power. And suddenly now here we are 15 years later, I'm On all those podcasts and webinars and speaking on stage and facilitating all those masterminds and retreats and getting invited to co-facilitate other people's masterminds and retreats. Although even I did with Ramin Sharma last year. So I didn't know, I knew I wanted to do retreat and mastermind as part of my life purpose, divine way I was here for my message. And I found that was the best vehicle for me to share. And now it's coming more in speaking so I can reach more people at the same time.

Hmm.

Now, what the vehicle will be. I knew what I wanted to do, what my mission was in this life to help really women, especially accepting their power at a young age. Live your divine purpose, live your life on your terms. You don't need to be pregnant at 20. You can be pregnant at 35 and be totally fine and have your career and travel and you can do it all. You don't need to be just a mom. Or just an incredible entrepreneur or just a partner. You can be all. And I think women still have that eye in this, not which you can be all pieces of.

Have you ever heard of GeneKeys at all? Did I go through that with you and Sherry?

No.

There's a really cool thing. It reminded me, I recommend everybody go to genekeys.com, free promo for them. I get no paybacks or kickbacks from this. This is just a promo because I personally love it. I do it for Uber drivers, friends. I can't believe I haven't done it for you here yet. You go to genekeys.com, created by Richard Rudd. It's a derivative of human design, but you can get your free profile on there. And one of the first things it tells you is your purpose. And I love this because it'll say my purpose, I think, is to manifest the gift of adventure. It's like the one-liner. And to do that, I need to transform the shadow of hunger. So if you're friends with me, if you know me, if you can ask my husband, I want to devour life, Esther. I'm like, Jaws. I'm just like eating experiences. And yet at the same time, it says, if you go into the more detailed part, this is all free on their website. You even get like 17 minutes for free of audio that you can just— it's all free. They don't even sign you up to a mail list, nothing. And I go on there and it's always a good reminder, at least like once every few months I go back and try to reread it because it helps to ground you. And for mine, it says, your purpose is to help people realize that it's safe to live the life of their dreams. And I cannot tell you how often I hear that, Esther. I'll be posting on LinkedIn or on Facebook or something, or I'll do a podcast and somebody will say, thank you for showing me that it's safe to live my dreams. And I'm like, oh my God, that's what it says right there. So what are your tools? What are the tools that you like to use to help people divine their purpose?

When I work with them, the first thing I just Mandatory, they have to be sitting down for 30 minutes or standing in the same position without talking or anything. Get uncomfortable. Because when they get uncomfortable, they get vulnerable and they're open to receive.

Oh.

So it's a thing I learned a long time ago with my masterminds retreat is the first thing I do, I put them in silence, not moving. Yeah, your back hurts. Maybe your leg hurts. Like maybe your brain wanders off to your groceries. Not really, just go through it. And because it opens them up on a level they never experienced before, because everybody asks, have you ever sat down like this just for 30 minutes? Just be with yourself and just be okay. Don't be on your phone, not watching Netflix, not like distracted. Like literally, and say no. Okay. So I want you to journal now. What did you get? What were your messages? What came to you? It is a thing, but just start writing. And another exercise is what I do a lot is let them walk on the beach or on a hiking trail by themselves, although most of them have a group, but everybody's on their own. No talking except you're gonna talk to yourself. You're gonna talk to yourself for 30 minutes out loud.

Ooh, I love that. I'm taking notes. This is all so good.

And when you do that, you have a conversation with yourself. And then you realize that that is just BS what I just said. Now let me redirect this, or let me rephrase this, or you start talking, suddenly there's something coming out you didn't even know was there. Wow, I really could do this. What? Did I hear that right? Yeah, you could do that. And then like this, I'm like, I would like to do that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How does it take? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so after those 30 minutes, they sit down and journal for 30 minutes, and then the most amazing things comes out. It doesn't take that much, but it just Most time they need guidance to do certain exercises and actually slow down to take the time because we're all busy. Life is busy. Like when people say busy, we're all busy. Like, don't tell me you're busy. We're all busy. But what are you busy with? How many distractions do you have all day and how much time do you spend with yourself? So I'm a big fan of waking up at 5:00 AM and exercise and meditate and journal and read. So you're already fulfilled before everyone else wakes up.

Agreed 100%, sister. You just nailed it. That's how it's like I was telling, I had a friend staying with me for a few days and sometimes my husband's up before me, but I love it when nobody's awake and I just have quiet. If I have it all my way, I have 2 hours of just complete silence and stillness to write a gratitude list, journal, reflect, meditate, pray, read something to your point. And then by the time that your day starts, you're like, I just epically won it today. Like today I won.

Yeah. And the days I don't, or I get disrupted by the routine by my son that wakes up early or something happens, then it's just a different day. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad day. It's a more chaotic day.

Now, I love what you said too about the exercise. A friend of mine used to teach at Esalen Institute and he did something similar where he would take people on a long, I think it's like an hour-long walk in silence. And then would play some really riveting music and have them journal. And I remember he told me to do this exercise and I did it in COVID when nobody was there. I went for a 2-mile walk around London. Everybody's tense. And I'm literally sitting there with my friend Arthur and I'm writing. I'm like, I hate Arthur. This is a stupid exercise. Why am I doing this exercise? I'm writing like just freeform thought after this hour-long walk. And then all of a sudden, Stuff started to spill out, Esther, that I just wasn't expecting. And I was like, whoa, oh, oh, I didn't know that because so much of our emotions and the way we feel and the way we think is buried under the surface of the noise and the tension in our day-to-day. To your point, we don't have the time. How many of us sit down and actually look at where we invest our time? Everybody, a lot of people have accountants, financial planners. We all need to do our taxes and see where our money came and went to. Do we account for our time? How many of us actually sit and wonder, where did my time go this week? Okay, I had, say, 14 waking hours in a day, or 16, or whatever it might have been. How many of those hours did I spend doing things that fulfilled me, brought me closer to my loved ones, my family, my purpose? And that's what I get out of what you shared.

It's important. And people say time goes fast. Yeah, it goes fast because we're so distracted. If we slow down, it's still the same 24 hours. We live in a very fast world and only will be faster moving forward, but you still are in charge of your own 24 hours every single day. And that is what the, where the shift has to happen, in my opinion, in the world. There's so much pressure on all the things we have to show up for and things we have to do and stay up to date on a lot of things and everybody that wants something, but you have to put yourself first in every single area. And if you really make time for this aspect, You have your soul, your heart, your mind, and your physical. We're all pretty good with physical most of the time. Mindset, now we read some books and maybe work it. Okay, I'm happy, I'm in love or not. But the spiritual, it gets neglected at first because we don't have time for that. But that's actually the most important one in my opinion. That's how everything gets guided in your life. That's where all the messages come in. It just depends, are you listening? Are you tuned in on the same frequency so you can actually hear? the message, right? So I do a lot of exercises in my retreats that, that nobody else does as far as I know. Like, I know a lot of people walk labyrinths. I let them build the labyrinth.

Ooh, tell more. What is this?

Yeah, people, there's a lot of, in the more transformational retreats or spiritual retreats, there's this walk the labyrinth and let go of your past. Anger and frustrations and sadness or things or people that don't serve you anymore. So you walk the labyrinth and let it go. That's one thing, but if you build the labyrinth as a group yourself, the healing starts by building because now you're part of the energetic fields instead of walking into an energetic field that has been created by someone else.

So you're interacting with the energetic field rather than just being at the effect of it.

Instead of arriving and walking it, I let them hide so it'd be quiet and start, give them an exercise to prepare. Then they build it as a group, and then they have to walk and let it go. And then the most times I said, I asked, what was the most impactful? Of the whole exercise. Well, hiking up a hill, you're gonna puff your lungs out. Then, because when people exercise, they get out of their mind. I need them out of their mind before I do any exercise. That's why I give them something hard to do, both by physical. And then the building, finding sticks and rocks and whatever you can find to actually create the frameworks for walking. And then Find a way energetically as a team to actually create all, all on the same page. Because if one goes a circle and another goes a square and another goes like an oval and another goes this way and another goes this, there's a component. And then the walking and the letting go and then the celebration. And they always say the building of the labyrinth because it took them out of their, totally out of their mind. They were focused on building something, creating energetically. That it's the collective healing started right there. So the walkroom was easier and went deeper than if you just walkroom.

Question, do you allow them to talk while they build the labyrinth?

Nope.

Ah, no talking. Cool. I'm like, I'm taking copious notes right now. This is so powerful, Esther. I love this because at the end of the day, why do we all incarnate? Why are we all having this human experience to taste chocolate, get married, fall in love, experience loss? It's to find some essence of purpose. You hear this all the time. I was just at a mastermind recently with brilliant entrepreneurs, some of the top thought leaders in the world, people who have made tons of money. And yet it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how much money you have in your bank account. It doesn't matter how many kids you've had or anything. If you don't find that inner sense of purpose, it's all meaningless, right?

And I see that all the time because I know a lot of very wealthy, successful people. And even in my Robin Sharma mastermind, there were really The 30 top people from the world, and I don't know how I ended up there. I just manifested it. I know how to manifest things I like. So it's a whole other exercise. Learn to tune into the highest vibration and then align with it and then receive it and be willing to receive it. It's not just putting it out there and then saying in the back of your head it's not going to happen. So the thing most people, a tremendous amount of money, but so freaking unhappy. Divorced, no relationship with their children, not fulfilled, actually don't like even the business they have. And I'm like, what? Why are you wasting all this time building this company, making millions, billions, and then being in your 60s miserable? Like, what is the whole purpose of this? Like, time to just cut the cord and just do something else. If money's not even an issue anymore, why are you sticking to it? Yeah, because I built it. Now sell it, or pass it on, or give it away.

Yeah, let it go. Life is too short to not live our best lives. Esther, you've shared so much wisdom. Are there any closing thoughts that you have that you'd love to leave people with today?

I think the best thing I can give is you taking time with yourself. You have to build in your schedule. Once scheduled, will happen. Put it on your calendar. I recommend daily meditation or quiet time or walk in nature. If that's impossible because of your life, you have a busy life with children, or you have different night shift, day shift, whatever your life looks like, then at least do it 2 or 3 times a week. It can be like 30 minutes, but take that time for yourself because magic happens in silence and solitude and quiet. It doesn't happen in the noise of the world or people giving you advice. They get advice based on Their need, not yours. So listen to yourself. I think that's the best advice I can give.

So good, Esther. So good. I love it. So if people want to connect with you, if they want to learn more, I know you also do some work with CodeBreakers that you run that company. Would you like people to go to CodeBreakers or follow you on LinkedIn? What's the best way for people to connect with you?

They can find me on LinkedIn or send me an email at esther@esterwildenberg.com, my name. That's the easiest way to connect personally. LinkedIn or Facebook, I'm easy to find. There are not that many Esther Woldenberg.

And it's so great to see you, to spend time together, and to have you share your wisdom with our listeners. My wish, my intention for each and every one of you, go out there, find that spark of light within you, and blow on it, nurture it, illuminate it, kindle it, and turn it into a fire in your heart that lights your soul up and illuminates your path. I'm Jennifer K. Hill, and I thank you for your time.