Jessica Hickman built an anti-bullying movement and wrote a book, but still feels fear pitching to corporate boardrooms. She gives freely to others but won't ask for help, seeing self-advocacy as weakness. The conversation explores why she focuses on flaws while others see her potential, and how vulnerability might actually be strength.
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How do I show my true self, my spiritual self, who I am at home with friends, and how do I bring that to my corporate self? Yeah, exactly. So I'm super excited because now I, I know who I am and I'm grounded in my business to show vulnerability. Yeah. So yeah, I'm really excited to be having this conversation.
Good, good, good. Um, so you already talked about being vulnerable, that it hasn't always been easy for for you. What have been like— what would you say are the things that you still struggle with to talk about? It can be in any aspect of your life when it comes to vulnerability. What are your things that you still struggle with and hope to conquer?
To be honest, I think that I'm still afraid to be super vulnerable on my business journey. Um, it is really hard, as you know, behind the scenes when you have your own business and on social media. I've got presence. I have a strong following for my anti-bullying movement, and people say you're smashing it, you're kicking goals, you've got your own podcast, you've written a book. But behind the scenes, it is very hard. You know, you can talk on social media all you want, but I'm still working out, um, my vulnerability, I guess, is pitching to large organizations. There's still part of me that when I go into that boardroom, I'm shaking inside.
Yeah.
And I guess that I come across as very strong and dominant and very not nervous, I guess. But I guess showing that vulnerability to go in and say, hey, look, I'm just on my own journey, can you provide some feedback? I'm still learning. And I'm starting to do that more and more, but it is quite confronting when you're in a boardroom full of dominant men in large organizations to be like, I'm vulnerable, I'm really scared right now.
But I know myself.
But I know myself. So I guess that being more vulnerable in business, and I don't ask for help enough. I'm quick to give everyone all my time, my energy, and help, but when it comes back to asking for help myself, I sometimes feel like, no, you, you shouldn't do that, you need to be more together.
Because we think that asking for help is a weakness, but it's like one of the biggest strengths that we can have to say, I'm vulnerable, I, I don't know how to do this, can you help me? And not pretend to be strong. And we think that's the strength, but it's the exact opposite, isn't it?
Exactly that. Yeah.
And other funny thing, when you were saying that everybody around you saying, oh my God, you're so amazing, you're doing this, you're doing that. And I remember how, you know, how it's the biggest lesson is— and it's, it's the irony of it all— that everybody else sees the potential in you.
Yeah.
And you don't.
Yeah.
And it's like, why, why is that?
Yeah.
Right. And what should we do to fix it?
I think we are our hardest pretty.
Exactly.
And we look in the mirror and we see all of the flaws instead of all of the wonders.
We already had a bit of a discussion about this. Yeah, I have a bump on my lip and I'm like, oh my God, she's like, what, you have nothing.
Yeah, I understand. Exactly. If we have a spot on our cheek or whatever, little or big things, you feel like the world is over that day. And I came in and I just said, what are you talking about? But yeah, I think that we are our worst enemies, so I think that we need just give ourselves a break. A break. Yeah.
